I wanted to wait for one more video before I did another E3 recap, but the last two do have enough material to cover. Especially the latest one.
Mortal Kombat interview & "review":
- Bores is surprised that Mortal Kombat is back. ... It never left.
- All his compliments are visual related. Are you surprised?
- He talks about the private demonstration he saw (and this is a real private demonstration, the Nintendo Conference was not private if taping was allowed). He notes how it's 2-D (like he knows the difference), and the "mastery of fighters is much more challenging" (wha...?)
- Then he enters Captain Obvious mode. We can see all of this in the trailer, we're not stupid! We can see the battle damage, we can see the bone breaking, we can see how gruesome the fatalities will be (this is implied when you can see Kung Lao dragging an opponent crotch first into his razor-sharp hat).
- He also got an interview. Oh goody, I wonder if he'll bomb it.
- He talks to... some guy. I don't know, a name isn't given. That's real professional isn't it, not even name-dropping the person you're interviewing.
- Sadly, he doesn't bomb the interview. However, it isn't a good one either. It was just boring, all he asked about was the characters. Who is in the game? How many will be in the game? Can we unlock them? Here's my question, have you considered asking about gameplay?
Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4 and F.3.A.R. "reviews"
- The entire Harry Potter portion is Captain Obvious up to 11. It's beyond stupid.
-- "It will cover years 1-4" we can see that in the title.
-- "You'll play as a bunch of different characters" Do I even have to point out what's wrong with that line?
-- "Enjoy the animation cutscenes" The what cutscenes? English motherfucker, do you speak it?
-- "And perform new tasks..." Really? You perform new tasks in a new game? Next you'll be telling me that you can leave your house by opening the door!
-- "like mixing potions and flying on broomsticks" WE CAN SEE THIS! Gah!
- He was "surprised" over the life-size statue of the main characters. How is this a surprise? They're using real Lego to promote the fake Lego, it's called marketing and common sense.
- "Lego Her-moy-ne" You heard that right folks, Bores completely mispronounces Hermione's name. Didn't Bores say he was a big fan of the movies? I'd understand if he only read the books and never saw the movies, but he clearly said he never read the books. So how the fuck did he screw that up.
- Hey, remember those awful list jokes he always does? This video has one. "Lego Ron, Lego Hagrid and Lego Irate Gamer". Sad thing is, there are people dumb enough to find that funny.
Fun fact: Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4 came out yesterday in North America. So once again, Bores focused on a game that was coming out within the next month.
- He mentions the trailer to the newest Lord of the Rings game, says he didn't see much of it but the trailer impressed him. I'm sure that was worth adding to this already short & stupid video.
- He claims to be a fan of the F.E.A.R. series. I thought First-Person Shooters give you motion sickness? Also, that is such a blatant lie. You're not even trying anymore.
- "The third installment looks to be unique & awesome" Care to elaborate?
- He mentions how there's a character that can possess bodies. "I hope this is a feature that catches on" *sighs* In 2005, a Nintendo-published game called Geist was released. The concept had you play as a spirit possessing people and items. In short, it's been done.
- He shows off how he got John Carpenter's autograph. Nothing wrong here.
- "If you're a fan of the F.E.A.R. series, odds are you're gonna love this game cause this one looks to be the best installment yet." ... That is one of the most poorly-written lines I've ever heard. "So if you like the series, there's a chance you'll like this new installment." Well no shit. This is why Bores has to steal, because his own writing is below 2nd grade.
You know, SWAG should have given that E3 ticket to Kwing. He deserves to go to E3 a lot more than Bores.