Wednesday, July 28, 2010

E3 Finale: Over a Month After the Expo Ended It's Finally Over!

GottGame officially has the WORST E3 coverage ever. Instead of releasing a whole bunch of footage over the course of two weeks, they slowly release it bit by bit, long after people stopped caring about E3.

Hell, they were still doing coverage when Comic-Con started. Just another reason why GottGame is ridiculed for being absolutely idiotic. That and they hired the Irate Gamer.
Which brings me to some good news, IG has FINALLY finished his E3 coverage. Now I can recap the rest of the boring.

When we last left our fool, he was drooling over games nobody cares about. Now, our conclusion.

Lufia: Curse of the Sinistrals
Before I talk about the video, I want to point out how he calls each video “Irate’s E3 Coverage”. Is he trying to say Irate is his first name? What’s wrong with saying “Chris Bores’ E3 Coverage”, at least it doesn’t sound stupid.

Bores mentions he had to check out Lufia. When he starts the interview, he turns to the title just to remind himself what he’s doing, smoooooth. Have to love how he slowly says Sinistrals.
He starts the interview claiming to be a big fan and the first game was one of the first RPGs he ever played. Screw you, we can tell you’re easily lying. You probably didn’t know Lufia existed until SWAG told you what it was.
Oh, and if you were such a fan you would have noticed this was a remake of Lufia II: Rise of the Sinestrals. It shouldn’t be that hard to replace Rise with Curse and put two and two together.

As for his questions, same old shit. Power-ups, characters, length, generic shit that could be applied to any game.


Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
“Activision has been working on a new Spider-Man game that fans have been eagerly anticipating” I highly doubt that considering the last good Spider-Man game was released in 2004, the others have been forgettable or crap.
I think they don’t care anymore. Unless we get something on the level of Arkham Asylum, and honestly it looks like another forgettable Spider-Man game.

“To help unravel this tangled web…” Grrrr *stops* No I can’t get pissed too early, there’s still 10 videos after this.
Why does he have to look at the title when he announces the game? It seems like SWAG just told him “interview that guy over there” without giving him any real info.
What’s wrong with this guy’s accent? No not Bores, the guy he’s interviewing. He sounds like a French Game Dude.

His questions? Charcters, powers, levels and release date. Why did SWAG think Bores was good at interviewing? That GI Joe interview from 2009 should have been an indication that he shouldn’t do anymore interviews!
He also asks when the fourth one will be revealed and we’re told at Comic-Con. Turns out it was just Ultimate Spider-Man, big shocker.


Bonk: Brink of Extinction
Oh goody, another revival of a semi-forgotten 16-bit mascot.
“I was excited to see a new Bonk game!” Chris, do you even know what a TurboGrafx-16 is? Just wondering.
Surprise, he asks about the power-ups. Along with “is dis a throwback or remake?” I don’t know, why not the fact it’s in HD tell you?!
I’m not even listening to what the reps say, I just “spin on” to the next Bores question or voiceover.


Castlevania: Harmony of Despair
During his voiceover, you’ll notice he never says the games full title. It’s always “the new *game*” Like the new Castlevania, the new Bonk, the new Lufia. You were there Bores, say the full title in post!

“If you enjoyed the recent DS games, you’ll enjoy this.” No. I did some research and you don’t even gets stats in this game. If anything, it’s just an enhanced Boss Rush mode with co-op and extra rooms to give you stronger weapons.
“I really like the zoom feature, you can see what’s going in the castle. Vewy coo’” Actually the main purpose is to monitor the other players, it is a multiplayer game after all.

“I’m here playing Castlevania: Harmony of Despla- Despair” Really, you couldn’t do a second take? I’m sure the rep wouldn’t mind that.
And he asks about number of stages, of course.

“The graphics are a throwback to the 8-Bit version…” WHAT? Are you fucking serious? Nothing about that is remotely 8-Bit! My brain just imploded at the stupidity of that comment, it’s like he’s doing this on purpose.
This does go back to his TMNT II review when he suggested they remove the extra levels and put the “space” towards technical improvement. Or he’s just retarded.
Apparently he came to that conclusion because he noticed enemies from the original game. Wow, skeletons and bats, it’s not like any other game in existence has those!

1/3rd of the way done.


Saw II: Flesh & Blood
He mentions in the description he doesn’t know much about the series, and then makes an annoying Superman reference. Yeah I should remember Bores’ references make the same amount of sense as Family Guy.

The video actually starts with the interview. Hey cameraman, get both of them in the shot, don’t have the rep introduce himself off-screen.
Normally I won’t bring up what the interviewees say but I have to mention this. “It’s called Flesh & Blood because there’s a lot of blood and gore” Nooooooooooo really? Gore in a game based off a horror movie about torture?
Did Konami just send one of their janitors to talk to Bores? Though, considering their press conference that doesn’t sound too far off.

Sadly, the only idiotic thing was that Flesh & Blood comment.


Tron & Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light
IG goes to the Tron booth, and fangasms over the various Tron displays and the newest game Tron: Evolution (at least the Wii version of it). He follows that with A MONTAGE! GAAAAAA *static*
Is he faking it? I don’t think he’s using the motion controls correctly.

This is followed by ANOTHER montage, this one of Bores playing various games that are far more interesting than half the crap he’s covered. God of War: Ghost of Sparta, LittleBigPlanet 2, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit, Dead Rising 2 (or as he calls it Deadrising, that’s not even a word!), NBA Jam, and Donkey Kong Country Returns. Yeah it’s the exact same montage as the one in the Pac-Man video. Though, looking at the upcoming videos he does cover the last two.

Why did he include Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light in the title? He only briefly mentions that game. He also talks about Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock and DJ Hero 2. Feh, Rock Band 3 will destroy both of those games.


NBA Jam
Why does he keep calling these “First Look Reviews”? They’re not reviews since the game isn’t complete, and they’re certainly as hell NOT first looks since this footage has been out for a while.

Yeah, it’s just a boring interview. He thinks that NBA Jam was the game to introduce hidden characters. NBA Jam was released in 1993, the first well-known hidden character was Reptile in Mortal Kombat and that came out in 1992. Hell, the secret character article at Wikipedia doesn’t even acknowledge NBA Jam. Spin on!


Sonic the Hedgehog 4
For some reason, this video has the most views. I did notice it on the front page a few times, I guess Bores used a certain code word to get it noticed.

“A lot of us called Sonic & Knuckles ‘Sonic 4’” Nobody called it that. It connected with Sonic 3, it’s the other half of Sonic 3 they couldn’t fit onto the initial cartridge. Thus the game’s full title “Sonic 3 & Knuckles”. At least the Sega Rep corrects him.
And his questions include length of the game and different characters. Fuck me this is dumb. He also claims to have read up on this game because he’s really excited for it. Bores can read?


Sonic Colors
During the interview, Bores is hit with a small toy. In the description he says it was a Sega rep that he was teasing earlier. Are you sure it wasn’t a person that knew who you were and that you’re a fraud?
IG mentions that he absolutely hated Unleashed. Dude, you’re in front of a Sega representative, don’t be a dick. At least Spoony expressed his true opinion AWAY from developers and reps. Also, you only played an hour of it, you didn’t get past the flying stages. You have no right to say that shit.

And of course, he asks about levels and characters. “Now will we see Knuckles and Tails?” You can see Tails in the trailer! Ugh. Only three more videos left.


The next video isn’t E3 related. Rather it’s a follow-up to Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, talking about the fourth character’s reveal at Comic-Con.
“A couple weeks ago, I reviewed Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions” You didn’t fucking review it. You barely even talked about it, you just asked some French guy a few generic questions. There’s a difference between “review” and “preview”. LEARN IT!

The rest of the video is just the trailer. The BlackBuster Critic brought up that he hopes Bores isn’t getting money from this video because he didn’t do a damn thing, 90% of the video is the trailer.


Donkey Kong Country Returns & Kirby’s Epic Yarn
Well, at least the title of the video has the word preview in it. But it still says First Look and Review, missing the point there Bores.
The video starts with Bores drooling over Donkey Kong Country Returns, with plenty of forced “vewy coo’” and “FAN-tastic”. “A new stomping the ground technique” Nooo, you can do that in the original DKC. Down + Y.
He also mentions 2-player co-op but would have liked it to be 4-player like “the Mario title”. Is that hard to say New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
He asked a representative if the old bosses would be back, along animals you can ride. Obviously they didn’t tell him because Nintendo likes to keep things secret. You should know this.
“Another new title on display was the Kirby game” Good lord you can’t even read the sign! What’s wrong with saying the full title?
He found the game weird and couldn’t full appreciate it. You just don’t know quality when you see it.

3DS and Wrap-Up
Finally, the last damn video.
He tells us this video is sponsored by Gamer Grub. What’s Gamer Grub? Flavored chips, said to help you be a better gamer. Sorry, Mountain Dew already beat you.

Bores begins by telling us things we already know. This is nothing new Bores, stop wasting time.
He also shows off a picture he took. That picture looks nothing like E3, and the quality is way too high. Obviously he just took a random picture of himself and shopped it onto a stock 3DS photo.
So he moves onto the games, oh joy. “a new Star Fox game”. It’s not a new game, it’s a remake of Star Fox 64. There’s a difference.
“Now the last feature I must mention is one a lot of my fans will appreciate” Okay then… “Not only can you download classic NES games, but they can be converted into 3D! How coo’ is that?” Your fans would appreciate this? Dude, your fans are like 12, they don’t care about the games. They only like the Jewish skeletons, the annoying Star Wars references, and cutaway gags. That’s the truth.
Bores lists off all the classic demos he played. Ending on *sighs* Super Mario World. Yeah, once again he called Super Mario World an NES game. I still can’t believe people think he’s legit, he’s made this mistake TWICE. Fucking proles! Blind to talent and quality, growing dumber every single day! GAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

EDIT: Turns out the demo did have Super Mario World and Yoshi's Island. But he only said NES games, so it makes the inclusion of SMW sound unbelievably uninformed.

Bores FINALLY wraps it up, standing in front of a sign that says “Creativity Unleashed”. Cue the irony thud.
He just recaps all the stuff he saw and that there was so much he couldn’t get to. “E3 is finally over” yeah it was over a month ago. We’ve moved on.
And that’s the end of it, including a shot of Bores trying to look going down an escalator. No, it will never work.

Ugh. It’s finally over, his E3 shit is done! I hope he NEVER goes again, because that fuckhead doesn’t deserve it.
Now he’s going to start another review. As in, start the review from scratch. No, working on it during the E3 videos would make too much sense.
Considering his slow pace, the next review will come out in… late September. Labor Day if we’re lucky.


I also want to bring up that Bores has removed the original Zombies Ate My Neighbors review, only the remastered version is up. He even tries to disguise it by removing “Remastered” from the title (but the idiot forgot to remove it from the description). Oddly enough, the old MUSCLE review is still up. I don’t get it.

But you know what’s funny about the Internet? Someone will always find a way to repost it.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55z4n_irate-gamer-zombies-ate-my-neighbor_videogames
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

See you guys later.

41 comments:

  1. You know what I don't get? Don't IGN/Gamespot/Machinima have their own YT channels? Even if these morons were too lazy to get their asses off Youtube and watch E3 online or covered at least in the the next 2 days after on Gametrailers, Neo Gaf and etc. as far as I'm concerned the whole YouTube was filled with E3 trailers/videos/Interviews just after a few days. How in the bloody hell did these morons miss those thousands of videos just to...you know what? That just goes to show that there are NONE real gamers among IG subscribers. A legitimate gamer knows all the sites where he can watch E3 online or at least a day after. BUT NOT A WHOLE FUCKING MONTH! GAH!! Oh and if you ask me, Bores knows well the difference between a preview and a review, but because he calls it a review, those 12 year old might think that he somehow got his dirty wanker's hands on the game MONTHS before it's release and is actually reviewing it. It's all just for the money!
    P.S. @nuclearneo577 Can't wait for the notorious letter :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't understand why is supposed to be cool the ability to convert an NES game into 3D.They're 8 bit games.They will always be cooler in 2D.Also,I love how he spents big portion on the 3DS video talking about NES games.Is like he tries to proof to himself he is a gamer

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  3. You know what the dumbest thing about his E3 coverage is? He keeps calling them "reviews", I'm sorry but asking a bunch of questions about an upcoming game is not "reviewing" it. They're PREVIEWS, god he's so stupid. I can't think of a bigger idiot than Chris Bores.

    I mean who could possibly be stupider than this guy? I can't believe this. I only find his videos entertaining when somebody refutes the bullshit he makes.

    The worst part is he doesn't even listen to any suggestions to make his reviews better, if I'm not mistaken he also removes comments that are suggestions on how to make his videos better, I might be wrong though. But I have a feeling that's the case, since he's only gotten worse.

    I mean what entertainer ignores feedback on how to become better? I'm sure the angry video game nerd tries to get better by reading comments that are feedback on how to make the videos better. Yeah, that's the main difference, at least James tries to improve his videos.

    Well, since he's working on another video, I can't wait to see you refute the bullshit he makes. You, along with the rest of the people who call out on Chris Bores' bullshit are what I find entertaining about his videos. Not the videos themselves.

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  4. I know I mentioned this before, but the official Irate Gamer Game site has a comment from a user with the user name "Chris Bores", but obviously someone just making fun of him...

    "This game better not have any flawls and the emenies better be easy to kill! Or Im gonner feed you to jawls."

    Adding to that, there was this response from the developers of the game...

    "Hi Chris,

    we have a lot in progress, will send you some concept art next week.

    TIGG Team"

    They actually believed it was really him! Of course, you kind of expect this stupidity to come from people who actually thought a game about the Irate Gamer was a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm assuming the guy in the Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions video is actually from the game's developer Beenox, located in Quebec City, Canada (which explains his thick French-Canadian accent.) Activision is only the publisher.

    I could barely watch the Sonic Colors video when Bores told the guy he hated Unleashed - a sad example of Bores living in his own little world.

    Anyway, thank God he's done showing E3 footage a MONTH AND A HALF after it ended - I anxiously await his upcoming "doozy" of a Irate Gamer episode, which I hope fails in new and exciting ways to spawn parodies that will be "doozies" as well.

    I've noticed a great influx of highly-rated Youtube comments of people who honestly uphold the belief that "both AVGN and Irate are great, so stop hating." I guess they were too distracted by their juvenile bliss in exclaiming "I FOUND WALDO!!11! XD" in the latest History of Video Games vid to care...

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  6. @Rick
    The sad part is that Machinima is the 6th most subscribed channel on YouTube. Ahead of ShaneDawsonTV2 and sxephil.
    You're right though, they aren't legit gamers if they had to wait A MONTH for E3 coverage.

    @Hector
    From what I read, the 3D NES games were just tech demos and will likely not be released. Kind of like how the PS3 FFVII cutscene was made to show off the power of the system but was never intended to be a game.

    Of course you have a bunch of people saying "OMG Super Mario World in 3D!"

    @Shaolin Dave
    Haha oh wow. I heard the 360 version was scrapped and it's only going to the iPhone. In other words, nobody is going to play it even if it does get released.

    @PanicPagoda
    I have to remind myself that Activision only publishes the games, like how Infinity Ward worked on Modern Warfare (not anymore) and Neversoft works on Guitar Hero. I just hate Activision and their arrogance.

    Beenox huh? *looks up track record* Monsters vs. Aliens, Guitar Hero SHits, and PC ports. Yeah this game is going to blow.

    I still don't understand that. If they enjoy the AVGN they should realize just how un-entertaining Bores really is.
    Again, this is a person that believes a history lesson should be stuffed with fake explosions, Star Wars references, and the HAL 9000.

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  7. Do you think the Irate Gamer Game will have cutscenes? It would be something like this

    -IG: (while looking Wikipedia) Gee,it sure it's boring around here.
    -Wise Sage: MAH BOI,this fact-checking is what all true reviewers strive for!
    -IG: I just wonder what James's up to.
    -The Genie: Wise Sage,James and his minions have seized the island of Youtube.
    -WS: Mmmm...How can we make money?
    -Genie: It is written.Only Chris can copy James
    -IG: Great!I'll write some jokes!
    -Genie: There is no time.Your special effects are enough.
    -IG: How about a kiss,for luck?
    -Jennifer: You've GOT to be kidding.
    -Genie: Bangalang! We're off!
    -IG: Whoah! What are all those videos?
    -Genie: These are the Reviews of James.You must copy each.
    -IG: I guess I better be going
    Genie: Here is Game Genie.Where do you wish to go?

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  8. Thank go it is over and I also knew he was lying through his teeth saying he liked Lufia.

    @BatDan

    Anything to keep you interested I suppose despite the fact you got your history wrong anyway.


    @Hector

    Brilliant is all I can say to that comment

    Also this may be a shameless plug but I have to show off perhapse one of the best irate gamer youtube poops I've even seen

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqIv9htPQBk

    But just for the haters on here to balance here's a great one on james

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQpiUYlFKOM&feature=PlayList&p=535123D52415404E&playnext=1&index=57

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  9. Wow. I mean FUCKING WOW.

    Bores still thinks SMW was an NES game? Anyone of his cocksucking fanboys (including GameDudeOfficial) need to have their heads slammed so hard into the wall, so that they'll get the hint that their hero is not the wonderful person that they make him out to be.

    And no, he's never heard of Turbo-Grafx 16 before, let alone the fact that it was the first 16-bit video game console, and the fact that it predated the Genesis by a year (1988) and the SNES by three years (1990).

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  10. @Motherplayer
    What history?

    @vnisanian2001
    Exactly. The PC Engine was made to compete with the Famicom.
    In NA, the Genesis and TG-16 came out around the same time (August 1989).

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Motherplayer

    I found a better Irate Gamer youtube poop:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIt5wKxZzL0

    Go check it out if you can.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm still shocked that he was still doing these. Knowing what Nintendo has done with Donkey kong in the past I'm a bit worried myself. Compared to Rare Nintendo fucked up Donkey Kong really bad. Don't know what I mean?

    Donkey Kong Country:
    Incredible soundtrack, addicting gameplay, interesting cast/characters, creative enemies and areas/stages, graphics only Rare could have produced for a system like the NES, humorous dialog from Cranky, and plenty of secrets.

    Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest:
    New characters, more challenging (Kaptain K. Rool is one tough bastard), more secrets and items to collect, same gameplay whilst adding different functions, a simple storyline that the soundtrack turned into an epic adventure, memorable enemies and bosses, more Cranky Kong humor, creative areas, and even better graphics. Did I mention that the soundtrack was beyond epic?

    Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble!:
    More new characters, a little easier than its predecessor, truly more memorable cast (I.E. The Brothers Bears), good soundtrack, but not as epic as DKC2’s, more gameplay methods, a few enemies seem a bit dumbed down as if some of them were recycled from the last game, Cranky Kong’s still alive and funny, a litter more darker (Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong as live batteries), and graphics improved a little more to give it a lighter feel.

    The GBA remakes I feel are the little brothers to their superiors. Otherwise they’re basically the same. Moving on,

    Donkey Kong 64:
    A stoyline that is capable of following, truly a darker tone than the previous games, plenty of gameplay elements, Cranky Kong is still funny, Wrinkly Kong has died :( , new lovable characters to the Kong family, A LOT more creepier than the past games, not as many creative enemies or bosses, K. Rool is very menacing in this game…until the end at least, a concept similar to Banjo-Kazooie but done in an entirely different way, an interesting supporting cast, an edgy soundtrack and the graphics were ok.

    So after that era of great DK games we expecting even greater things to come for that series and what do we get? Shitty non-relative hand-me-down games.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Donkey Konga series:
    Haven’t played it but by looking at gameplay videos you can easily tell this shite isn’t Donkey Kong. It’s a hand me down series with Donkey Kong’s name on it.

    Donkey Kong Jungle Beat:
    No stoyline (King of Kongs is basically what Donkey Kong is already), un-creative enemies and bosses (they reuse the same bosses and just give them different names. Rare did the same thing, but not with every fecking boss!), un-creative animal buddies, the music is decent, but it’s nothing like the masterpieces David Wise & Grant Kirkhope composed, Donkey Kong is turned into a barmy tyrant, no Diddy Kong or other members of the TRUE Kong family, no Kremlings, terrible and nerve wrecking bongo controls, and the gameplay is so repetitive and confusing. People only liked it because of the graphics. IGN UK said “DK’s fur makes StarFox Adventures’ models look primitive”. Oy. These bastards are in the same country as Rare and they can’t see past pretty colors. Have they even played the Rare Donkey Kong games? If they have, they could obviously see that this game wasn’t worth the 50+ pounds Nintendo wanted for it. Moving on,

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  14. DK: King of Swing
    Oh God where do I start? I don’t want to look like a graphics whore like Bores, but that’s the first thing you’re going to notice when you play this game. They turned a fully rendered 3-D side-scroller into a sodding cartoon. You can even look at the boxart and tell that this isn’t a traditional DK platformer. I know the graphical limitations that the GBA had, but that didn’t stop Rare for at least trying to create 3-D on that system with the remakes and all. The second thing you’re going to notice is that…uggh. CRANKY KONG IS NICE. If you could just see some of his dialogue you can tell that those bastards made the only sane character in the entire series looks like he suffers from bipolar disorder. First couple of years he’s bitter and brass next couple he’s jolly and hunky-dory. He doesn’t even talk about games anymore! He just gives less than helpful tutorials about stuff we could figure out on our own the minute we play the damn game. I could go on and on about what’s wrong with Cranky at this point, but I’m just getting started. The storyline of DK: King of Swing was shit. It was weak, predictable, and made no sense at all. Medals. Fucking medals. That was our main focus of the game. Collecting medals to have a hero contest. Isn’t Donkey Kong already the hero? So if Candy collects the most medals she’ll be the main hero while Donkey Kong’s blowing kisses at people at a booth? That’s just how weird and senseless this story is. At least in the DKC series the stories actual make sense if not less. Donkey Kong Country – Gorilla gets his bananas back. Donkey Kong Country 2 -Monkey and his girlfriend go on a pirate adventure to save his best friend from his worst enemy. Donkey Kong Country 3 – Gorilla and Monkey are kidnapped, used as live batteries for worst enemies’ robot, Monkey’s girlfriend and her cousin go out to save them. DK64 (while not officially a DKC game) – Worst enemy wants to blow up island of Gorilla and kidnaps his friends in the process. Those are stories that are (somewhat) easy to follow. Collecting medals to have a tournament? How does that make a story, but I’m just getting started again. Then K. Rool appears at the beginning of the game COMPLETLEY visible. What I mean by that is, in the past games K. Rool always didn’t reveal himself to the Kongs until the end of the game you know to add to the surprise (and trust me. I was REALLY surprised at the final battle in DK64), but not this time…he just comes. No surprise, no suspense, really after the stuff Cranky says you can easily tell K. Rool is coming in a minute. His dialogue is worse than Cranky’s! He says things Bowser would say. “Chimp-chumps”, “Monkey Brains”, do I need to say more? How could a villain as sophisticated and menacing as King K. Rool turn into such an idiotic Bowser clone? Alright moving on, Cranky’s duff tutorial is hour long, the gameplay is completely different and boring, those “medals” are butchered DK Coins, some old enemies like Mini-Necky and Shuri return, every area has “world” at the end of it (what is this the Donkey Kong version of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show?) whether it be Jungle World, Wild West World, Aqua World, the lack of imagination in this game is astounding, not very challenging, too short, and I guess the music is ok. All in all, a horrible way to try to revive the DK platforming days. Well they know what works and what doesn’t work so the sequel won’t fail to chin us up hmm? Wrong!

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  15. DK: Jungle Climber:
    Same concept as King of Swing, but slightly done better. Now there is a story, but it’s BEYOND weird. The Kong Family is on vacation on Sun Sun Island (yep more lack of imagination whereas “island” is added at the end of every area.) where they mistake a BANANA SPACESHIP for a real banana. Then out comes a banana alien, god, named Xananab which is a palindrome for bananaX. An obvious metaphor for what they’re doing to the DK series. Taking something good and reversing it. King K. Rool (who doesn’t appear right away, but still appears too early) has stolen his “Crystal Bananas” which gives someone who uses it ultimate power. How does it do that? What’s the original of it? No one knows. They never explain. It’s like they just got pissed and made up random shite as they went along. So apparently they find nothing weird about an alien banana who barely mentions his origins, because I suppose they’re planning to eat him afterwards, so they (including Cranky) set out to get his Crystal Bananas back. Yep that’s our story. Nothing but a wild goose chase. That’s the story so what else is wrong with this game? Cranky’s still nice, K. Rool is still an idiot, apparently the Kremling “Krew” is now known as the Kremling “Gang” *Sigh* we are not in England any more -_-, the story is confusing, the things we want to know or should be explained like how do the Crystal bananas give off that sort of power? What was Xananab doing on Sun Sun Island? What’s his origins? Where did he get crystal bananas? What are their origins? why did King K. Rool just “happen” to show up at that exact moment? How does he know what the crystal bananas do? Where the hell is Kiddy Kong? Those are the things that should have been explained especially Kiddy Kong’s absence. We haven’t seen him in 14 years if you don’t count his appearance in the Donkey Kong Racing trailer or the DKC3 remake! Anyway, the gameplay is the same as DK King of Swing with some new gimmicks here and there, Cranky still gives you less than helpful tutorials and has own level called “Cranky’s Teachins’”…Do I even have to explain why that’s wrong in so many ways? Fine. Cranky is NOT a tutorial character. He’s an advice character. Nothing more. On top of that he’s not a stereotypical old man either. He has or had his own character where he was bitter and ranted about old day gaming. Stuff WE ALL know and love especially given the shit we have to deal with today. *coughkinectcough* Moving on, we have more “creative” levels like Cool Cool Cave, Fiery Volcano (it’s a volcano we know it’s fiery!), and High High Island (must have been where they were when they were working on this game), Xananab’s dialogue is heinous (since he’s a walking banana the developers wanted to exploit the hell out it and make him say lines from The Name Game. You know, that “banana-fana bo bana” thing), the bosses are more unoriginal than in the last game (all it is are Kritters who use crystal bananas to “somehow” use objects around them to mutate into different creatures. One of those creatures looks like Spyro the Dragon on steroids. I’m being serious. It looks like Spyro took some steriods one day and literally got big. Just look it: http://www.mariowiki.com/images/3/35/Dragon_Kremling.PNG. Moving on, this game was about as daft as the first one, but it managed to get the 3-D right this time (I guess). The music is decent I suppose. All in all, it’s worth a rental if you can. --- Hamilton from Mundorare. As well as my pal.

    People aren't worried because the same studios who made the Metroid Prime games are making Donkey Kong Country Returns, but really after all that was said above you should see why some of our expectations are low.

    @Raccoonman900
    Youtube Poop is all IG is pretty much good for.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yeah, this YTP's a little offensive, but its funny as hell:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JaZ9RURuoU

    I wonder if anyone use Bores's "Wii Joystick" clips as YouTube Poops? I'd like to see someone incorperate that with Oprah's "Over 9000" clip.

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  17. @vicviper592

    I laughed when I saw it. Nice. :)

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  18. The Bores STILL thinks Super Mario World is an NES game? *Looks Super Mario World Cartridge* hmmm it says "Super Nintendo Entertainment System" Did Bores even LOOK at the damn game, actually on second thought, he uses roms, in that case, did he even look at the description of the game?!

    Mr. Twenty years just keeps finding more ways to get dumber as the years go by. Its just too bad the lap dogs that support him have never played games that came BEFORE the 360 and PS3, there just like him; they only care about good graphics, cinematic cut-sceens, and nothing else. If they were true gamers, they probably would have given up on him. They should watch Kwing, hes MUCH more entertaining (love the Chrono Trigger review)

    Until next time.

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  19. Have you guys ever seen any of Quibby Jibby's poops?There have nothing to do with IG,but there are so good you must take a look,even if you think CD-I is a dead source.

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  20. "IG mentions that he absolutely hated Unleashed. Dude, you’re in front of a Sega representative, don’t be a dick. At least Spoony expressed his true opinion AWAY from developers and reps. Also, you only played an hour of it, you didn’t get past the flying stages. You have no right to say that shit."

    I'm somewhat of a butthurt when it comes to Sonic, and I do enjoy Unleashed, so I'm absolutely honest when I say, "THANK YOU!".

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  21. @BatDan

    Ment "Him". Sorry

    I feel the same. I liked unleashed as well (and not just the running stages I also liked the were-hog stages as well because it was nice to mix things up.)

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  22. The thing I didn't like about the flying stages was the fact that you had no free control like in Sonic Adventure.

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  23. I find it hilarious that Bores releases a video about Spider-Man: SD that talks about the "secret" 4th Spider-Man AFTER the 4th SM has already been revealed.

    Seriously...did he not see a problem with this?

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  24. @digiharrison: Even the people that love Unleashed quite despise the flying stages, mainly because it was an overly long QTE sequence, and while the flying stages in SA1 was essentially a watered down StarFox 64, it wasn't quite as tedious.
    Hell, even in Unleashed you only have to put up with those stages twice (there are more than that, but the rest are optional), once after the first level and once before the final level. They were tedious, yeah, but they sure as hell weren't out of place.

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  25. I know this doesn't have anything to do with E3, but I found a review about the Irate Gamer on IMDb by someone aptly usernamed SUPERLOSeR. This is the review:

    "One of the best Internet series!

    This show is funny, cool and original. The first few episode are bit slow but the later episodes are great. This show actually makes learning about video games cool.The show has a lot of history about video games and the style the show has is interesting. The humor is more for a more mature audience but it sets the tone perfectly. Sometimes the characters from the games make an appearance in the episodes, it makes a good joke when it is presented. It always has clever jokes that always work. The best part about the show is the reviews are always about retro video games. There are always flaws and glitches to point out with them. With amazing effects, side splitting humor and video games comes the best comedy for gamers."

    . . . I don't know what to say.

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  26. Oh my god,that review is so stupid I wouldn't be surprised if it was written by Chris Bores himself.It wouldn't be the first time

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  27. I still don't understand why Bores got a IMDB page in the first place. No-one could of seriously thought that his shit was good enough to be labeled as a "television show".

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  28. If it has a DVD,then it is in IMBD.It doesn't have anything to do with quality.

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  29. @smashhackerz

    I still can't believe that there's five, count 'em, FIVE people who claim to have found that review helpful (I'm sure at least one is a sockpuppet, but still...)

    The whole review has a weird mechanical quality to it, like it was written by some corporate suit who's trying to disguise a pitch as a review, but doesn't understand how normal people talk. For some reason, I'm really fascinated by the "best comedy for gamers" endorsement. It sounds like a description for out-of-touch people who need a quick gift for a relative who they know plays video games.

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  30. If the person has a DVD, they can get an IMDB page. It took the Nostalgia Critic a long time to get a page because his DVD was rather recent.

    You're right, that review does seem like a plant. Like Bores himself or one of his friends wrote it.

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  31. He rated the Haunted Investigators DVDs with 4 and 5 stars in Amazon,so he use to do this.
    He also rated a Family Guy season pack with 5 stars.So yeah,BatDan is right,his style is just copying Family Guy's humor.

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  32. Wow. At last the filler is over. Don't know if laugh or cry.

    @vsanian2001
    You're wrong. The Turbo Grafx 16 was still 8-bit, but its graphic processor was 16-bit, and I beleive Sega later took advantage of it in its Genesis advertisements.

    @digitalharrisom
    Well, King of Swing and Jungle Climber weren't supossed to be sequels (or be the same line of games) to be DKC series in the first place, besides why do you expect storylines in a Donkey Kong game?

    I can't speak for everybody, but I don't think anyone misses Kiddy Kong.

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  33. Hey everyone, I'm back! Sorry about the absence, but I was camping for a few days. I'll post that P.M. on the next post so that it is near the top. So you have to wait longer, sorry.

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  34. YOU ARE TEARING ME APART,NUCLEARNEO!!!

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  35. What're you saying? The Irate Gamer's pretty awesome, and the E3 vids were freaking awesome. And screw you, dude. Despite the delays, his reporting was useful to non-US fans. Otherwise, we wouldn't have known about those new gamers that're now on the shelves. If coverage's slow, forward complaint to GotGame, not Irate. The Irate was only a messenger, and there're more GotGame junkies like him, like Yuriofwind, a possible AVGN copycat, since he said he's "nerdy". But I like him too.

    The Sonic 4 got a high view no. coz it's a highly anticipated game... only for some perverts to batch its physics on YouTube... along with those of Sonic Advance and Rush.

    The guy's in his early 30's, so it's no surprise if he didn't know how ppl hated the post-2004 Spider-man games. He's like a grandpa of gamers, but am I complaining?

    He later on batched the Castlevania game anyway. He mentioned the DS game bcoz of the main characters and style of gameplay involved in the sequel. And, yeah, it IS a throw-back to the 8-bit game... just like the NSMB was to the first Super Mario game, and I'm pretty sure he was referring to both maps and gameplay.

    Don't change the subject with TMNT II. It's an unrelated subject, from how you even described it. We're talking about similar maps and gameplay... v.s. a re-make that lacked the arcade magic.

    So what about the re-mastered vids? I didn't care about them myself. Maybe he was experimenting with some new editing software? I mean: "Re-mastered" does imply smtg, doesn't it? That's why he was a month late with the 7-Up vid.

    And what's the big deal with faking your facts? It's not like you heard Chris saying that himself off the camera. Speaking of which...

    SNES is a type of NES, so what's the big deal? About DKC, maybe he didn't know about the down+Y. I nearly didn't know that you could dive in games like SMG2. And he showed evidence that he'd played the original DKC game back in 07, and most recently on the Neo.

    People totally batched Sonic Unleashed, and the Irate isn't the only one. The mission of the SEGA Genesis days, and onwards, was to make Sonic run faster than previous, not what OTHERS AT SEGA-RELATED FACEBOOK PAGES DESCRIBED TO SEGA REPS THERE AS: "WAREHOG*", "lasers", "gay colors", "glitchy 2006 controls", "anti-Genesis physics", etc. Yeah, I read a lot of nasty things at the SEGA and Sonic official facebook pages by fans. With that being said, the Irate can say what he thought at the rep, as much as he likes. He's a fellow game critic, isn't he? “'Now will we see Knuckles and Tails?' You can see Tails in the trailer!" He was asking on our behalf, instead of jumping into conclusions by himself. But you failed to answer the Knuckles part, though.

    See if you could squeeze tons of vids altogether while being a one-man show. I do smtg similar with IT and, without help, not only it'll be slow for sure, it's not fun. Moreover, the Irate's an implicit review CLOWN. That's why some of us like him. If you don't, just tune to another YouTube channel.

    And sorry for batching the very purpose of your blog, but you batch the Irate like some sort of a spoiled brat at middle school. I'm sure he achieved smtg that got you pissed off in the first place. Envy. Sorry kiddo, but you suck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Try using deep heat on your arse next time it's sore, kid.

      Delete
  36. I noticed at in his E3 interview and "first look" videos he always has the same outlook on a game, like "Wow, it's gonna be an awesome game", unlike his actual reviews where he tries to find some fault with the games. And he says "throwback" way too much.

    I recorded some E3 streams and posted them on YouTube almost in the same day. Yeah, I admit they are not original content but I know that timing is important. Plus it makes me happy knowing my Castlevania HOD trailer got more views than in Konami's own channel :P But anyway, I do not know if Irate Gamer chose to trickle out these videos slowly under his own accord or if GotGame put a gun to his head and telling him to wait. Still a bonehead move either way.

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  37. @omar

    Dan doesn't suck, YOU do for writing a 11-paragraph to defend your butt-buddy, who gets his facts wrong in EVERY "review" and writes jokes that only you fanbrats can find funny. Time to point out your flaws:
    1 - You could always check another website for E3 videos, and better, they actually release their videos less than a week after E3.
    2 - He isn't a grandpa of gamers because he isn't even a gamer.
    3 - So that means nearly every Castlevania game is a throwback to the original if you talk like this.
    4 - You spelt "bashed" wrong.
    5 - The "remastered" "reviews" are nearly the same thing.
    6 - Every gamer worth his salt calls the SNES: SNES, not NES, they're completely different.
    7 - True, many people bash Sonic Unleashed, but the IG bashed it unfairly, because he based his "review" on the FIRST FOUR LEVELS, and no, Sonic isn't all about "Speed, speed, and more speed", thus proving that Chris isn't a real Sonic fan.
    8 - He can't say what he wants to a representative, neither can any of us.
    9 - I never heard of any clowns that put theaudience to sleep.
    10 - ...and the IG bashes games like some sort of retard.

    I know you'll probaly never read this comment, but if you do, think about what you have wrote here, and stop trying to defend someone who doesn't deserve to be defended.

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  38. I find it utterly hilarious that Castlevania HD actually DID eventually have two 8-Bit throwback stage (Being the entire Castlevania 1 game and Getsu Fuma Den)

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