Saturday, February 12, 2011

A New Post? Sure.

Damn, I haven't updated in a while. It's not completely my fault, Bores hasn't done anything worth mentioning.
Since uploading the Kirby's Epic Yarn review to NotGame he's done... very little. He made some videos about trailers (whoop-de-doo), held more contests (win some plastic crap that probably won't work on your TV!), one of them won by his best friend lukestarkiller441, and reuploaded the Epic Yarn review to YouTube with an altered line and a new ending.

So yeah he's really done nothing. As for redux recaps I haven't had the will to go back to his old stuff.

That's all.

UPDATE (2/13/11): Bores announced that he's going to review Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Saying the review will go up tomorrow because of "some strange rules". It's called a review embargo jackass, AAA titles often put one in place.

Ugh, this review will hurt. If he compares it to Mortal Kombat there will be trouble.

41 comments:

  1. Does Chris Bores have a girlfriend?

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  2. @lordpolygon

    He had a girlfriend (she appears in the Haunted Investigators vids and she made the CGI Snake in the Aladdin vid), but iirc they broke up recently.

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  3. @Lordpolygon

    He did, but My guess is that a chronic liar and douchebag isn't an ideal mate. Also, Batdan? I know you don't like family guy, but try watching one skit of Comedy Inc. Family Guy is Mel Brooks compared to that garbage.

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  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEiea1PwW4I

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  5. Five bucks says he doesn't upload anything until April.

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  6. Hey did you know he's going to do marvel vs capcom 3

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  7. Jeez, Bores, you can't even upload a couple of those short-ass movie reviews that would take any other person ten minutes to make?

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  8. *NOW* can we speculate on the MVC3 review, BatDan? :p

    To reiterate:

    I bet $10 Chris will call Zero some variant of "Mega Man."

    Also ranting about "OMG NO 8-BIT CHARACTERS, ARTHUR AND SPENCER SHOULD HAVE BEEN 8-BIT!"

    And a Ronnie joke with Taskmaster.

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  9. Oh what the fuck Bores? If he compares it to Mortal Kombat I will be so pissed.

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  10. Why does everybody assume he'll bash the game? If anything he's praise it blindly, only mentioning the selection of characters and graphics.

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  11. With a doubt, he's going to complain about the difficulty. I just know it. He sucked so bad at E3 that he'll probably blame the game.

    I do wonder what his next retro review will be. Since he rarely makes them anymore, it's fun to figure out how he'll screw up next.

    Can't wait for your rant, BatDan!

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  12. I'd like to see Bores do a review of the Dead Space games - particularly Dead Space 2 - because though I loved them, I can see the reasons why people might be less than enchanted (occasional punishing difficulty and, of course, the fact that it's a survival horror title). Or perhaps Demon's Souls.

    They may give him a chance to be 'irate' properly, as legitimate difficulty is something he seems never to have experienced.

    Also, there's no excuse for the pace of his videos. I do a 5-minute+ video of good quality every single week (last week, my show was just over 8 minutes), and it takes me only a few hours to do them!

    What fills his time when he isn't making videos? Does he even get enough money from them to survive comfortably in between?

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  13. I want him to review the old Sierra games such as the King Quest series. Why? You need the instruction manual to get past the copy protection the games have.

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  14. @Zinger314

    If Bores does MvC3:

    *Complains that Mega Man is not in this game; says he got replaced by "Zero Man" from the Mega Man Xtreme series.

    *Complains that there are less characters in MvC3 than in MvC2.

    *Complains that he has to download the DLC characters to play as them and says it is lazy and stupid.

    *Either complains that Arthur is in this game for no reason and does a joke that he has to defeat the "eminies" twice to beat the game, or contradict himself again by saying that Arthur is great character to put in the game.

    *Complains about the game being difficult (suprise, surprise) and says that Mortal Kombat is easier.

    Well, that's all I have to say.

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  15. I'm pretty sure He'll whine about characters he doesn't know or ever heard of. I'm not a fighting game kinda guy, but at least I can appreciate MvsC series' mark on Video gaming. He will most likely hate it for the most idiotic reasons, or praise it for even stupider reasons. He doesn't have the brain capacity to appreciate or enjoy games of such cerebral experiences like Shadow of the Colossus, Okami, Thief, Silent Hill or even Psychonaughts. He's just digging his own grave by trying to review a game that appeals to core gamers, but the only people who watch him are 12 year old xbox live trolls.

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  16. @The Fedora'd Samurai: What interested me most in your comment was Psychonauts - I wonder how Bores would treat it (or how far he'd get before continuing his Double Fine tradition of giving up and reviewing Basic Braining as if the whole game is just that).

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  17. Wait a minute, MvsC 3 comes out on the 15th! how's he gonna review it tomorrow?!

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  18. @Kit

    Bores would probably say that Psychonauts is a very confusing game and call it a bad game because it was too confusing for him.

    @The Fedora'd Samurai

    I would find it impossible to review a game one day before its release date, even if Bores preordered the game. I have a feeling he will review the game by using the stock footage from Youtube and the footage of him playing the game at E3.

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  19. I swear if Bores calls Marvel vs. Capcom 3 worse than Tekken 6 all because of the difficulty and calls Mortal Kombat a better game than both games, then I am going to lose it. I have nothing against Mortal Kombat, but it is impossible for anyone to take a glance at his game reviews and say they are decent, yet there are many people (mainly 12-year-old Xbox fags) who think he is legit even after he calls many good old and new games crappy.

    On another unrelated yet still related to Bores, I have a feeling that LadyBuggin777 is actually Bores' mother's Youtube account, but Bores use it as a sockpuppet account to make it look like his mother is supporting him. I made a parody quote out of it, although it might draw some similarities (aka plagiarism) to Third Rate Gamer's SMB and SMB2 review.

    "Bores: Oh sheeit. People are saying bad stuff about me over the intermernet. Mom, can I use your Youtube account?

    Bores' Mother: JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON'T WATCH ANY PORNO!

    Bores: Ok, Mom."

    So what do you think?

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  20. There's no way that he could have gotten a review copy. Gotgame's website doesn't exactly give off a sense of professional pride to me.

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  21. Oh people we all know what hes going to do for sure....make a smal list of charaters he wanted to see from both sides. Pointless and stupid.

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  22. Going by the announcement video (his most recent one) he got a copy from GotGame. Along with showing it.

    I'd question how they got review copies, but then I remember people on Blistered Thumbs get review copies so I guess if you establish yourself as official you'll get early copies.

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  23. @smashhacker

    pretending to be his own mom to fool people into thinking she likes her own son's work? that's norman bates territory there. i doubt even he's that pathetic.

    @ Fedora'd Samurai

    i'd say there's no way he'd get a review copy, but then there was a time i said there's no way he got a pass to E3.

    @ Motherplayer

    he'll do something half-assed and pointless wether he got a review copy or not.

    @ BatDan

    "official" isn't really all that special anymore, is it? capcom's really made a mistake by allowing a toolshed like bore's to review a game. whoever made that decision obviously has never seen IG, and should probably be fired from capcom for letting him breathe on a copy of the game before release.

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  24. Am I the only one who sees MvC3's lower amount of characters than MvC2 as a legitimate issue? I mean, it's a sequel on a current-gen console. Naturally, it should have more characters. Certainly not problematic enough to qualify it as a bad game, but still.

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  25. @sabertooth

    Well, the less the characters, the easier to balance them, is my guess.

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  26. I will punch him if he says a single thing about MK. Actually, based on what he said in the 3-in-1 review, since he prefers MK all other fighting games fail.

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  27. @smashhacker

    I also have a feeling he'll say Arthur will suck as well. After watching a few match videos, Arthur seems to be a good with Storm and Sentinel.

    And I predict the ending might be, "Final Verdict: If you're a Marvel fan, then this game is for you. But if you're looking for a better fighting game, then you'll have to wait for the new Mortal Kombat."

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  28. @Legoking831 I think Chris would probably go to the training mode with the AI off and judge the entire game on that.

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  29. Well, many people have gotten the game pretty early.

    Also, great time for me to repost.

    http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/9576/boresx.jpg

    http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/3121/boresx2.jpg

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  30. Ha, I just looked at his website, he considers his trailer reviews to be a separate 'series.'

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  31. I can't help but smirk reading everyone's guesses on how Chris is going to fuck up. I'm not a big fighting game fan but I know what constitutes a good fighting game. The second, and I meant SECOND, he compares MvC3 to Mortal Kombat anyone who still thinks he's a legitimate gamer is a total idiot.

    @The Fedora'd Samurai

    A few days ago I was at a game shop in Manhattan (8-Bit n Up, check it out, their awesome) and saw them playing MvC3 in the corner. It's probable.

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  32. MvC3 review is up! However, there were no other game komparisons in it.

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  33. @d1337r

    How bad was it? I have a feeling it's ludicrously short.

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  34. The review seemed pretty adequeate, but I've never played MvC games earlier and never read a lot of Marvel comic books, so I can't know if he had something wrong. At least, he got rid of those constant gags.

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  35. He said Storm sucked and complained about obscure characters.

    And he thinks there are more than 4 characters to unlock.

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  36. He Said Storm suuuuuuuuuckksss?.............

    wow, if he really could be a gamer e should be know that he is quite wrong a long time ago.....

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  37. God, I want him to be punched. So bad. I want someone at E3 or where ever he goes to next to recognize him, feel the rage building within himself, dash over to him and deliver a punch so fast that no camera could have possibly caught who it was.

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  38. @LordofCorruption

    Did he also said that Arthur and Sentinel sucked as well? Cause Bores really needs to watch these math videos before he opens his mouth:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPpJYQleYcM
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek_qqLyrO5w
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crx37YZB7ug

    I have this crazy idea. Maybe someone should send Bores to this year's EVO. I'd like to see him get owned by Arthur/Storm/Sentinel teams.

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  39. Actually, Sentinel seemed to be one of his favorites.

    Complaining about obscure characters, but praising a robot. Yeah.

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  40. I think he also uploaded the review on YouTube, because it says that it's around 4 minutes. I'll just wait for DLAbaoaqu's commentary of it.

    BTW, about the last post, I meant "match" not "math". Damn ASUS keyboard lag.

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