Monday, November 14, 2011

Redux Recap: Chris & Scottie's Unfunny Expeditions

It’s been pretty slow lately, and he hasn’t uploaded anything new since Halloween. I think a Redux Recap is in order.

For the longest time, we thought Chris’ non-IG series were done with. Haunted Investigators hadn’t had a single new episode since 2006-07, but now he’s announced it’s returning. Breakfast Rants seemed dead, until it was re-tooled into I Rate the 80s. That series itself seemed dead until he released FOUR in a fairly short span of time. However, this is the one series I can safely say is done for good.

The Chris & Scottie Road Trip, an attempt at Bores trying to combine information and comedy. It went about as well you’d expect.
The premise is that Chris and his friend Scottie go around the world (stand in front of their green screen) with Chris giving poorly researched facts and Scottie acting like an idiot. Lines resembling jokes are delivered. As if the idea didn’t sound bad enough, we have to buy Chris Bores as the straight man. We are in trouble.

There were only three episodes of the series, the first was only put on the (now dead) Chris & Scottie Road Trip web site. You can read that recap here: http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2010/01/lost-road-trip-random-thoughts.html
It was made after my cut-off for the Redux Recaps (they’ll end when I get to Resident Evil 5).

The second was made in 2005 and happens to be a holiday-themed episode, Independence Day. Set off a sparkler and get ready.

Pre-intro: The video begins with Bores introducing us to what we‘re about to see, telling us he made this back in 2005 and that he has more episodes in the works. Oh ho ho ho. Hindsight is a bitch.

Intro: The actual video begins with Chris & Scottie in a green-screen kitchen. Come on, you couldn’t actually record that in your own kitchen? I can feel the dread already.
Chris announces they’ll be staying in the USA for this road trip. As they leave, Scottie gets confused over what direction he’s in. So, was that a joke?

Groom Lake, Nevada: The dopey duo head to Area 51. Scottie begins freaking out over the possibilities of UFOs and aliens, and one can see where this is headed.
After another fact I’m sure is incorrect, a bad spotlight effect that’s intended to be a UFO appears in the sky. Chris really abused the default effects in Particle Illusion/After Effects for this trip. The two run away.

Niagara Falls, New York: Oh wow, he didn’t even spell it right.
The two pinheads stand in front of the titular waterfall, rather some really bad water effects Bores found in Adobe. Scottie does a “funny” voice when Chris mentions this is the tourist attraction for lovers.
Chris mentions you can see Canada on the other side, Scottie tries to see but trips over the extremely flimsy barrier. If that were the real thing, far more people would have died at Niagara Falls.

Carson, California: The two head to the Home Depot Center (which Chris calls the Home Depot Arena, oops). Of all the sites in the United States you could have visited, why a stadium that opened in 2003? At least do one with historical significance, like Wrigley Field. That’s been around for nearly 100 years.
Chris mentions it was built for Soccer, with Scottie dejectedly putting it down.
“A lot of people watch soccer” It’s only the world’s most popular sport, duh! No, instead of mentioning that he brings up the food. Who cares that this is the largest Soccer-specific stadium in MLS? There’s food! Cause stadiums normally don’t have that?
Scottie doesn’t care and says soccer sucks, prompting a rather tiny soccer ball to bean him. I like how it cuts to a close-up for that part because there’s obviously no one else there to throw the ball and Chris had to do it.

Death Valley, New Mexico: Whoa whoa whoa! Death Valley is not in New Mexico. It’s on the border of California and Nevada. If you didn’t want to visit two California locations in a row, you could have tried something else or said Nevada instead.
Scottie is doing exaggerated “it’s too hot out” poses when suddenly we get footage of Wile E. Coyote in Looney Tunes: Back in Action. I’m sorry what?
The rest of the clip cuts between the duo and the Coyote. Scottie sees the Looney Tunes footage as a mirage. … Moving on.

Las Vegas, Nevada: The two are in front of Hoover Dam (which isn’t in Las Vegas). Chris provides the dam’s height, length and base width in the form of a question, which Scottie answers “a penguin!” … No. Just no.
“Welcome to Boulder City, New Mexico” Oh come on! Quit mixing up the locations! What’s sad is Boulder City is the Nevada city where Hoover Dam is located. Research is for losers!
“Construction started in 1930” You’re a year off, it was 1931.
But no time for that, we have more Looney Tunes footage! Scottie claims he sees the Coyote again, but Chris tells him he’s seeing mirages. I know Nevada is a desert, but I’m fairly sure mirages don’t happen at a populated area like the Hoover Dam!
Wile E. Coyote fires a rocket and since this is Chris’ own world, he successfully blows a hole in the dam. Cue the shitty stock effects!

The Bronx, New York: They head to Yankee Stadium. See, now there’s another worthy stadium, even if the one featured here has been torn down. Scottie scoffs because he doesn’t like the Yankees. Get it?
Chris goes on about his facts while Scottie taunts the green screen and continues to be a jerk. We then get a repeat of the “soccer sucks” joke as Scottie declares the Yankees suck and gets beaned with a baseball. There’s going to be Rule of Three Abuse isn’t there? Even in 2005.…

Burbank, California: The two are standing in front of Pixar Animation Studios, and Bores is wrong about locations again! Pixar’s headquarters is located in Emeryville, California, not Burbank. They’re not even close to each other.
“Pixar is most well-known for its movies Little Nemo and Toy Story” It’s FINDING NEMO! Little Nemo was a 1989 love it or hate it animated film with a sordid development history based on the early 20th century comic strip about a boy and his adventures in a dream-based world. Finding Nemo is a 2003 CG animated film about an overprotective clownfish single father searching for his son. There’s a difference!
Then a mouse walks by, which happens to be another default effect. I told you he abused them.
Suddenly more default effects show up as Chris gives more history, including a dust cloud that’s meant to be Speedy Gonzales (you can tell by the Spanish). Chris, Speedy Gonzales is a Warner Bros character, Pixar is owned by Disney, there’s no reason to make a Speedy Gonzales reference.
Noticing Scottie fidgeting because of the effects, Chris decides to let him choose the next destination.

Greece: What happens now is an unfunny gag where Scottie wants to go to Greece but they keep ending up in the wrong location. What I wonder from this is how are they traveling? Are they flying to each destination? If they are, then they shouldn’t get Greece wrong multiple times.
After Scottie gets it wrong FOUR TIMES (the last time being a Crisco Factory… hur hur), Chris takes them to the real Greece but immediately leaves because “we’re only doing the United States”. Scottie whines a bit about doing something but we’re never told what it is. That whole gag was pointless! I have a feeling it was only made to make Chris look good.

Las Vegas, Nevada: Again? Oh wait, first time wasn’t actually Vegas.
Oh look, a casino. What are the odds?
Chris gives some facts that are blatantly incorrect before mentioning a Star Trek museum. Quite a leap from “talking about casinos” to “there’s a Star Trek museum!”
After mentioning the museum, Scottie beams in and tells him to try the transporter with Chris confused about what just happened. Join the club!

Detroit, Michigan: Another stadium? I have a feeling I know what happens here.
Scottie is fidgeting some more as Chris arrives late. Scottie yells at him but Chris tells him he’s not in the mood after the “Greece fiasco”. Because switching the green screen four times is sooooo draining.
As Chris talks about the Joe Louis Arena, Scottie is mocking him in the background.
Why does Bores sound like he’s about to cry as he’s giving his history lesson?
Scottie continues to whine about Chris being late, prompting Chris to yell “hockey sucks!” and Scottie gets hit by a default effect that’s supposed to be a puck. We have rule of three! Thank God it’s almost over.

Outskirts of Town: Because it’s tough to spell Sandusky.
The “road trip” has finally come to an end, they say their good byes and for some reason get beamed up by the Enterprise. Pointless? Perhaps.
Followed by a weird zoom-in and the title card. I like how the early episodes called this the “Scottie & Chris Road Trip” but every other time he calls it the “Chris & Scottie Road Trip”. Sounds like Chris’ ego got in the way again and couldn’t allow Scottie to have top billing.

While that wasn’t as offensively bad as the pilot, it was still awful. The usual lack of research shines though, along with painfully unfunny jokes, Scottie is an unlikable annoyance, and this really should have stayed in Chris’ vault.

Normally, this is where I would end things. However, there’s one final episode to get through. Made three years after the last one, it’s pretty telling from this episode why the series never had another one.

Intro: We open on the new title card, now with Chris getting top billing over Scottie. Scottie also got a haircut.
I really don’t understand the purpose of doing a green-screen kitchen, can’t Chris clean his up for filming? Shouldn’t take too long.
This time, they two will be going around the world. As they leave, Scottie trips. Because he’s the comic foil and has no other purpose than to get hurt.

London, England: The two arrive in an excessively foggy London street. *sighs* Why not add some rain? Or a Buckingham Palace guardsman with bad teeth?
The two complain about the fog. “I can’t even see my own sandwich in front of my face!” You’re holding the sandwich! Learn how your fucking limbs work!
“You’d be surprised that London was once the largest city in the entire world” Chris, he was talking about his sandwich. How does that lead into “London was really big”?
“Now one of the titles London retains is having one of the worst crime rates in the world” Are you kidding? In what crimes? There are countries with genocide, drug lord, FAR FAR worse than what you’d find in a first-world country!
But guess what, that was setting up a joke! Scottie has his sandwich stolen, then Chris’ watch is stolen, and the power of editing steals Scottie’s shirt. This is more like the pilot, stereotypes everywhere!

Pisa, Italy: Um, how is the tripod not sliding over? Even if one was in the Leaning Tower, they wouldn’t be filmed at an angle. Perspective? Oh and I see Scottie got his shirt back.
“Our next stop on our tour brings us to the Leaning Tower of Pisa” “Pizza?” … How old are you Chris? Did you really think anyone over the age of 10 would find that funny? Don’t blame Scottie, you’re the one who write the line. He merely delivered it.
Scottie thinks it’s pizza because he’s so hungry because he couldn’t get his sandwich in London. In the time it took for the two to travel from England to Italy, at no point did Scottie consider getting something to eat?! Where’s the sense in this? Is Chris staving him? Does he not understand geography?
“No Scottie, we got a show to do” Oh, he is starving him. Such a kind man Chris.
“It’s hard to stand in here” No, that’s not how the tower works… ugh
And since it was so funny the first time, they do the “Pisa/Pizza” joke again. I smell Rule of Three.
“Now people all over the world come to see the Leaning Tower” “Of pizza!” Tired of the joke he wrote, Chris pushes him off the tower. Murder, lovely!

Yucatan Peninsula: Having somehow survived his fall, the two arrive at an ancient temple. Scottie still complaining that he’s hungry. Maybe you should work for someone else since Bores is obviously starving you.
But Chris promises him a sandwich, though Scottie wants a hot dog now, hoping there’s a vendor around there. With Chris telling him there’s no chance of a vendor being out there. This sounds familiar…
After a vague fact, a hot dog vendor appears out of nowhere with Scottie going to grab one. … You know, it’s one thing to reference The Simpsons, it’s another to quote The Simpsons, they’re in the dictionary now! However, this scene is neither a reference or a quote, it’s theft! Taken from a gag from the episode “’Round Springfield” with Homer wanting a hot dog in an inappropriate place (watching a surgery and a funeral) and a vendor shows up out of nowhere. This is the exact same joke! Defend the AVGN theft all you want, there’s no excuse for this.
Then an ice cream truck shows up, whatever I don’t care. What location are you going to now?

New York, New York: Seriously? Of all the things you can show in New York City, a cultural capital of the world, you show a fucking post office! Why?! Post offices aren’t exciting!
“Blah blah blah biggest post office” ADRENELINE-PUMPING ACTION!
Scottie runs excited that he won ten million dollars, but it wasn’t his mail and Chris tells him he could go to jail for opening it. Then, Scottie pulls out a copy of Action Comics #1. I love how Bores is looking at the back cover like THAT’S the impressive part. Chris’ tone changes and he goes to take it to the “proper authorities” with a devilish grin on his face. Wow, Bores is a real asshole in this video. Starving his friend, pushing him off a tower, stealing mail, I wonder if Scottie noticed this.

Hell, Michigan: *sighs* Well, I know what joke is going to happen now.
Blah blah blah history blah blah blah. Scottie keeps asking if there are other reasons it’s called Hell, eventually causing fake fire to appear. If you saw this joke coming, congratulations you have at least passed the second grade.

Downtown: Downtown what? Downtown LA? Downtown Chicago?
No it’s back home, they’re done. Wait, Michigan? He lives in Ohio! So they went from Hell to an unspecified Michigan city? Would have been nice to say something other than “Downtown”!
Chris takes out the copy of Action Comics #1 he stole from the post office and Scottie notices. Chris lies that they let him keep it because he’s the “host” with Scottie realizing he’s the host too and the video ends.

Somehow, that was worse than the 2005 video. Along with being painfully unfunny with predictable jokes written by 8 year olds, it was also annoying. Scottie was somehow worse than before and Chris was a major dickhead. I am so glad that this show never got anymore episodes. I would hate for them to visit Chicago.

And unlike Haunted Investigators or I Rate the 80s, I don’t expect this to get an out-of-nowhere return. The Chris & Scottie Road Trip website is gone, and while I’m not 100% sure about this but Scott Mitchell (his real name) seems to have severed ties with Chris. Hopefully someone can confirm this with me.

*slumps back* That’s it for now. Next Redux Recap is Zack & Wiki. Let’s see if Chris actually does a new video.

101 comments:

  1. Which audience was this intended for?

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  2. Oh my god, PETA is stupid.
    They are whining over Mario's Tanooki suit.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t0k-xHBLMc

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  3. How did you find out his real name? Also, I've seen all three videos and I have to ask: What was the point of all this? I don't get it. If this was made for fun, then why put it on YouTube?

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  4. @UltimateCharm
    Credits of the last video. I'm surprised that those were there.

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  5. @BatDanNight
    Oh, cool. I ask because Bores rarely credits anyone that appear on his videos. I don't even know who the guy in his TMNT cereal review is.

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  6. Isn't it obvious, BatDan? They would stop for food, but Chris would insist on going to the grocery store, spend all their money on cereal, and eat it all himself!

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  7. @Derek

    *facepalm*

    BigAl2k6 should Review this fucking game. (he also review PETA's other games: Super Chick Sisters, New Super Chick Sisters, And Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals. Just do either a YouTube or Google search because someone had to have saved those reviews just in case those videos ever got flagged and/or taken down by either copyright nazis or PETA themselves.)

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  8. I swear Bores just ripped this from that one scene in 'Waynes World'. As usual he can steal and idea, but he can't do it well.

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  9. You know what else seems dead from Chris Bores? His movie reviews. But even that's something that we can't say for sure is something that is dead for good.

    But yeah, the road trip episodes were pretty bad. It's one of those shows where I would have to ask, what target audience are these videos for? Well, there's no swearing, and all of the jokes seem like something only a 7 year old would laugh at. Yup, it seems like perfect Nickelodeon material...... except for the fact that even Nickelodeon would reject this pile.

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  10. I am absolutely stunned at the lack of research in this video. Yeah, I know that complaining about Bores not doing his homework is like complaining the ocean is wet...but how in the HELL do you cite Las Vegas as being home of the Hoover Dam but in the actual segment mention it as being (correctly) in Boulder City?

    I once again would like to state my theory that Bores has a mental or psychological deficiency that causes him to have these embarrassing moments.

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  11. @The Destroyah

    I usually assume that the "Las Vegas, NV" title he put in that sequence is a mistake on his part that wasn't supposed to be there. A mistake that he, of course, is too lazy to go back and fix.

    But I think the most atrocious mistake and lack of research of the whole road trip series is the trip to Pixar Animation Studios. When Chris said that Pixar is the company that made "Little Nemo". I mean, come on, even little kids would know that the movie is "Finding Nemo".

    Also, on a side note, I've actually been to Pixar studios once for a tour around the Art gallery. All I can say, is that it was a very fun visit. Although I've been there for about 2 hours.

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  12. In the case of Niagara Falls. The picture they are using is of Horseshoe Falls and taken from Canada. Isn't that kind of ironic?

    Was there a reason that he thought that he had to animate the falls? That just makes it more obvious you aren't actually there.

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  13. Wow, just wow. Where do I even begin?

    The UFO effects in Area 51 look like the same UFO effects in the ET review. Don't you think?

    Like Isolder74 said, the Niagara Falls effects are atrocious and unnecessary.

    In the Home Depot Center, couldn'tBores at least tell us how and why this stadium was made instead of talking about the food they sell there? Was that really necessary?

    It's impossible that the Hoover Dam can be destroyed by one single rocket because the Hoover Dam is one of the most massive and impenetrable structurs ever made by man.The walls are so strong that it can last for 10,000 years! Also, it looks like Bores is laughing as he is running away from the dam.

    The entire Greece joke was fucking pointless and he explained NOTHING about the Detroit Hockey Stadium.

    In the second video, Chris is a major asshole and he never cares about Scottie at all.

    "London has one of the highest crime rates in the world." WRONG! London isn't even in the Top 50! The country that has the highest crime rate right now is Dominica!

    "It's hard to stand in here." Yeah. If it'shard to stand in the Leaning Tower ofPisa, it wouldn't attract millions of tourists every year right now.

    And finally, he didn't even use an actual photo of Hell, Michigan.It's obvious he put that location just for fun and that lame joke.

    I sure am glad he isn't doing anymore of this. I don't want to see him covering Singapore. I bet he doesn't even know where Southeast Asia is.

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  14. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGm42bwsd5A

    is this the next bores?

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  15. If he things London's foggy, he should visit Middle Germany. I've had fog here just a few days ago that was so heavy you could almost take a shower in it XD

    And Lond has a high crime rate? I doubt you'll finder nicer, more polite citizens in any other town :P

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  16. I think DLAbaoaqu once said that Bores is sexually attracted to food,it might be true don't you think.

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  17. @ Roken

    Why else would he make FOUR videos about breakfast cereal and Kool-aid flavors?

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  18. As for someone who's been to London many times over the last few years to see my sister, I've had very little troubles with crime when I'm there (actually, none at all). There's more crime problems with Liverpool than London and I live close to Liverpool.

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  19. As a result of the 1997 handgun ban, the UK (not just London) had a very sharp increase in crime. I remember reading an article around the same time this video was made stating it was one of the worse increases in crime for such a short period of time. That's very different than "having one of the worst crime rates in the world".

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  20. Happy 32nd birthday Bores.
    With age comes wisdom... not sure how that applies here though.

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  21. @Derek

    Honestly, I'm not surprised about that at all. PETA is just trying to get publicity for their bullshit organization. The problem is, they think like Shane Dawsson in the sense that "any publicity is good publicity".

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  22. @Derek:

    PETA does believe that the Tanooki suit was probably just as "real" as every full-body animal costume, right?
    And what about the frog, rabbit and racoon Mario also slaughtered in various games XD ?

    @D'Artagnan Rossfeld:

    He should really rename himself "Stuttering Crap". Seriously, I've never seen any Felix the Cat show/movie/whatever, and I still know who Felix the Cat is!

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  23. @Derek

    PETA does realize that Mario gets that suit from a leaf, right?

    @BatDanNight

    I think for Bores its with age comes a bigger ego.

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  24. BatDan. I must point out that there is only two states that could be where Boulder City could be located. Nevada or Arizona. New Mexico is an entire state away in fact there is a place where such a mistake might be justifiable and that's 4 corners.

    It's kind of fitting that Bores would visit the lowest land point on Earth as part of the moronic road trip videos.

    Yes those stock animations are an insult to PIXAR.

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  25. @EricKirby

    Actually, you get the Tanooki Suit from an actual suit, but still, it's most likely synthetic fur, and let's remember it's only a game.

    Seriously, if this upsets PETA, one wonders what would they say about the Kirby games.

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  26. @Arthur Arneiro

    Oh right...Got those two mixed up.

    How would PETA react to Dr. Robotnik taking innocent animals and turns them into robots?

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  27. @Arthur Aneiro

    Well, in the new game the leaf gives you the suit, making their argument even more idiotic.
    Also, in regards to Kirby, I'm pretty sure what they come up with won't measure up to Bretalfloss's interpretation.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR6k5ZPezeE

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  28. Nintendo responded to PETA with this:

    "Mario often takes the appearance of certain animals and objects in his games. These have included a frog, a penguin, a balloon and even a metallic version of himself. These lighthearted and whimsical transformations give Mario different abilities and make his games fun to play. The different forms that Mario takes make no statement beyond the games themselves."

    Link: http://nintendo3dsblog.com/nintendo-responds-to-petas-anti-mario-campaign

    Well played, Nintendo~

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  29. Also, on topic to the article: More stupidity from Bores? Racism, terrible jokes, stolen jokes... Oi. Canceling this moronic series was probably the smartest thing he's ever done, but considering who we're talking about here, that's... not saying much.

    Despite Bores' idiocy, though, another fine article BatDan.

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  30. I want to make an anti-PETA game where you play as various vegetables having to defend yourself from granola-smoking hippies.
    Or maybe the game should be about a tiger (or other meat-eating animal) that's being forced into a vegan lifestyle by PETA.

    @ skyrunner14

    Chances are, he didn't actively choose to cancel the show. As with is other shows, it was made on a "next episode will come whenever, maybe, i dunno" schedule. For all we know, he may suddenly stop making "Irate Gamer" or "I Rate the 80's" without actually "cancelling" either one.

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  31. PETA: If we don't have an enemy at the moment, we make one anyways XD

    And I think the road trip got cancelled because he feared Scotty (or really ANYONE appearing alongside him) might steal his spotlight. Could explain why 98% of his Irate Gamer videos don't feature any other "actor" besides him (mute stock-footage appearance by the Wise Sage hardly counts).

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  32. Since I haven't watched this one, I can't tell specifically what he's talking about, but I'd say that Bores was probably referring to the Star Trek Experience, a sorta-museum, sorta-theme park attraction at the Las Vegas Hilton that featured a lot of Star Trek-themed shops (including a complete recreation of the Promenade from Star Trek: Deep Space 9) and games that people could participate in (there are clips on youtube of it) as if they were on a mission with Star Trek alumni.

    Unfortunately, it closed its doors a few years ago (especially sad for me, since I always wanted to go, though my parents did attend once and had a blast).

    As for why he'd reference it? Hell if I know. I never would have figured Bores for the Star Trek type.

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  33. @Doresh
    Well, he doesn't credit other people that show up in his videos anymore. Eric doesn't even get credit for his Wise Sage cameos now.

    @Linkara
    I remember in an early video about the Sopranos finale, he mentioned being a fan of Deep Space Nine.
    Though I think he only mentioned Star Trek just to do the transporter jokes. Even if they have to be forced in.

    It closed? That sucks. At least there's still the Doctor Who Experience.

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  34. Am I the only one who's been getting this "American Censorship Day" bullcrap every time I enter a page on TGWTG?

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  35. @Arthur

    Its to raise awareness of a bill that could shut down the TGWTG site as well as countless others

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  36. @Clark

    What bill? Another one of those "can't post copyrighted material" bills?

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  37. You know, Bores having a sexual attraction to food admittedly doesn't sound that far-fetched.

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  38. Hey guys, I just watched a few of Mariotehplumber's videos and OH MY GOD, DLAbaoaqu is right. Mariotehplumber is such a whiny moron.

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  39. The coolest thing about Nintendo's response to PETA: PETA most likely wasn't hurting SM3DL sales, so this was just a professional way of calling PETA dumbasses.

    I'm about halfway through 3D Land. It's fun. I miss having 3D levels that include multiple power star missions instead of just having a flagpole, and I wish they included a point system since it's based more on 2D Mario games. It's not as great as the Galaxy games, but it's fun.

    I played PETA's game. It sucks. No surprise there.

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  40. What would Chris say if he played Phoenix Wright?

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  41. Now that the game's out, what would an IG Neo review of "Otomedius Excellent" be like? I bet it'll be like most other reviews I've seen from people that never touched a "Gradius" game.

    But to tell you the truth, the real flaw of this game is that online multiplayer is too harsh, because once the first player loses all lives, everyone else is "Game Over" no matter how much lives they have.

    And yeah, I'm aware that the game is too easy, even on Expert, but playing "Score Attack" is the real fun, since the game gets difficult on Loop 2.

    But chances are he won't be touching it, since the game isn't too mainstream like "UMvC3" or "Call of Duty: MW3".

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  42. @ vicviper592

    Odds are he can't even pronounce "Otomedius," much less review it.

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  43. LOL @Stuttering Craig being the next Bores. I don't know if I'd go that far but I'll say Craig sucks in his own way. I stopped going to the "new" ScrewAttack after they "upgraded" because it really sucks now.

    But if you want the next Bores, or at least the Bores for Movies, this may be him:

    http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/blockbuster-buster/blockbuster-buster/32915-red-riding-hood

    He so reminds me of Bores.

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  44. I never really thought of Stuttering Craig to be on the same level as Bores. I mean, at least I can believe that Craig played video games growing up.

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  45. @Derek
    "This game is a ripoff of Harvey Birdman!"
    "All you do is select evidence, object, and read text! And the whole time I'm waiting for something to happen!"
    "Couldn't the game at least let you go to the jury box and murder some jurors when you lose?"
    "What the fuck is a phoenix?"
    "Now I've only played the first case..."
    "*comment about Mia Fey being hot*"

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  46. I dunno if I'm alone on this, but I didn't see much wrong with his review of Felix the Cat. I mean, he didn't go into detail very much, but it wasn't really a review to begin with, it was a Video Game Vault, where he basically says, "Hey, remember this game? It's pretty cool." I mean, he isn't that great, but putting him anywhere near Bores is downright silly in my opinion.

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  47. I actually like Stuttering Craig. Yeah, he does have some misses here and there, but there's no way in hell he's the next Bores. Unlike Bores, Stuttering Craig seems to really know a lot about the video games he plays.

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  48. The first time I heard of Felix was from the NES game. Only one of my friends heard about him before. I don't think it's such a bad thing that Stuttering Craig assumed most people don't know Felix that well. He's not perfect, but he's also definitely nothing like Bores.

    About the internet censorship bill, it's a lot worse than people even realize. The copyright issues are just to get the censorship ball rolling, the end goal is for the government to censor things in order to skew public opinion in their favor.

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  49. And here I tought Germany's attempt at internet censorship ("Let's fight kiddie porn by putting easily-avoidable stop signs in front of kiddie porn sites - and every other site we don't like. It's not like we have justify anything!") was moronic...

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  50. At first, I like Stuttering Craig because he works in Screwattack just like James. But now that I've watched several video commentaries on him, man, he's really dumb. I also used to like Screwattack's Top 10 lists but now, they also start to suck.

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  51. @sovereign64:

    I suspect Handsome Tom was the brain behind most of the older videos - although that doesn't explain why he makes some pretty lazy videos at Blistered Thumbs as of lately...

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  52. I think I mentioned this before, but I still won't forgive them for saying "Street Fighter EX3" was worst than "Justice League Task Force", "Pit-Fighter", "Kasumi Ninja", and "Simpsons Wrestling" on their "Top Ten Worst Fighting Games", just because they think the controls are too tight and it's 3D.

    And yeah, this also ticked off "SFEX" fans at Shoryuken.com.

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  53. The problem I have with most of Back-Stabbing Craigs videos is if there wasn't constant game footage playing you would think it was just some boring guy telling you about his dull childhood that briefly mentions a video game. Seriously close your eyes and get someone to cue up one of his vids.

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  54. Just finished the main worlds in Mario 3D. The last fight with Bowser was freaking metal. Who's willing to bet Bores won't be anywhere near that far if/when he reviews it?

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  55. He'll most likely have been cheating.

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  56. @lordlaharl
    I fought him in two days, so there's no excuse.

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  57. There are two issues I need to bring up on this post.

    The first is about the PETA thing. Yes, it was stupid, it was outrageous, and it was splattered in blood; in other words, typical PETA. Thanks to Penn & Teller, I believe that these PETA people are the next Nazi Party and want to turn America into the next Nazi Germany! They are that stupid and evil.

    Second of all, has anyone heard of SOPA, an anti-piracy bill that could utterly destroy the internet as we know it if it gets passed?

    And one last thing, just for the sake of curiosity, do you people still support James Rolfe's AVGN anymore? I still do, but even then, those reviews were getting stale (aside from the Plumbers Don't Wear Ties review, the CD-i videos, and his Winter Olympics review). I've asked this because the Nostalgia Critic sucks now, since he made that Let's Play of Bart's Nightmare.

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  58. @Eric Kirby
    And another thing, Eggman doesn't do that anymore, aside from Sonic 4, which is probably a prequel anyway. He did try to kidnap and contain the Wisp aliens in Colors, but they were never used to power his robots. And even if you're refering to what he did until Sonic Advance 3, PETA wouldn't care, because at least HE ISN'T KILLING THEM, at least not in a bloody way. If he was killing them in a bloody way by putting them inside the robots... Okay, maybe I'm going too far with this one. But you get the idea.

    Also, I think they did bring up Mario's "Turtle Abuse" in the first Super Chick Sisters, along with their opposition to Yoshi being used as a mount. IN FACT, if I remember correctly, in SCS, Mario runs into a group of PETA people protesting Mario's stomping of Koopa Troopas, they spot him, and they beat the crap out of him!!! YES! THEY DIIIIID COMPLAIN ABOUT MARIO KILLING TURTLES!!! How could everyone have forgotten that?!

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  59. @ vicviper

    I love playing Street Fighter EX3 as a kid. I thought the gameplay and controls are good. And Screwattack's Top 10 characters they want to see in MVC3 is ridiculous. Professor X? Seriously? How can he fight and jump? That was a stupid choice. Oh and Iceman CAN lose his health when he's blocking hyper combos! And Spencer looks okay with dreads to me, I don't see any real reason to hate his new appearance.

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  60. @94d65cca-3ef2-11e0-8825-000bcdcb5194:

    Doug makes some more experimental videos from time to time ("Melvin, Brother of the Joker", "Emo Jones" and this Let's Play). Fan reaction was usually negative. But unlike Bores, Dough realizes if he made a mistake. He even apologized for this LP in his next video.

    @angrysun86:

    "How could everyone have forgotten that?!"

    That's easy: It's PETA. Nobody cares about them, and their insane actions are quickly forgotten.

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  61. @ 94d65cca-3ef2-11e0-8825-000bcdcb5194

    yeah i still support james, and doug, and all the other "good reviewers". some of their videos have been bad but not nearly as bad as people make them out to be.

    i just watched the new ICBINAVGN on mariotehplumber's sonic adventure review. it's as bad as everyone says it is, most of it was just him playing (badly) while screaming fuck for no reason, with the occasional randomly placed racist or homophobic slur. you could take most of his "commentary", but it over bad gameplay footage from anything else, and no one would even know it wasn't him actually "reviewing" the game.

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  62. @ Shaolin Dave

    My ears almost bleed when mariotehplumber says fuck every 3 seconds in the entire video.

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  63. @sovereign64:

    Every 3 seconds is an understatement. Every second word he says is "F**K!!1!" XD

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  64. @Doresh

    Hmmm... Good to know, actually. I'll have to watch the apology video.

    And about the PETA thing: Oh. That makes sense. But what if they didn't forget about Super Chick Sisters and bring that up every time someone tells 'em "And you don't have a problem with Mario killing turtles?"

    But what do you guys think about SOPA?

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  65. @ angrysun86

    SOPA, and any other censorship bills, spell trouble on many levels.

    As it's presented, it'll fight piracy by forcing ISPs and search engine providers to prevent people from finding piracy sites, regardless of where they're hosted.

    As it's written, every internet entity will be held accountable for information that they shouldn't be, constantly risking legal fines, imprisonment, and forced removal from the internet.

    For example... I recently made a video using my phone of my niece playing on my Street Fighter II game in the restaurant it's at. If I were to post that video on YouTube and link to it here, a lot of people would be held accountable for my "criminal" actions.

    On behalf of Capcom, wether Capcom ask or not, they'd censor my video for including images of Street Fighter II. Since there's a Rocky movie poster in the background, they'd probably accuse me of stealing from United Artist as well.

    YouTube would also be held liable, and could be fined or eventually have their URL blocked from every US-based ISP so no one could go to www.youtube.com.

    Blogspot would be held liable for not censoring me posting the link here. BatDan would be as well, since he'd be expected to promptly delete any links to copyrighted works.

    Finally, anyone else who shared the link would be accountable. If my brother shared the link on FaceBook, both he and FaceBook could get in trouble.

    Now, this might seem over the top, but so far there are only two groups who actually support this bill. The first are the elites in the entertainment industry, who tried to make VCRs and MP3 players illegal.

    The second group are government officials who've also believe that the government should be able to decide what information should be banned from the internet. Obama has flip-flopped on the subject, but his information czar Cass Sunstein who thinks the government should be allowed to censor political opinions that don't fit what the government wants the people to think.

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  66. @Shaolin Dave:

    I don't think this affects US-based ISP only. Isn't there also this "Protect IP Act" thing going on, which would basically give the USA ownership of the internet Oo ?

    "the government should be allowed to censor political opinions that don't fit what the government wants the people to think."

    Why do governments always see Ingsoc as a role model Oo ?

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  67. @ Doresh

    "I don't think this affects US-based ISP only. Isn't there also this 'Protect IP Act' thing going on, which would basically give the USA ownership of the internet Oo ?"

    I vaguely remember hearing something like that, but I doubt it's possible for the USA to get that much control. If that is indeed our government's plan, I'd like to apologize to the world and make it clear now that I never supported any of our politicians that are making these decisions.

    "Why do governments always see Ingsoc as a role model Oo ?"

    Because Ingsoc (any socialism, really) guarantees that the only people who can be successful are those in the government.

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  68. @Shaolin Dave:

    AFAIK, parts of the Patroit Act already operate on some kind of US-ownership: A lot of servers are located in the US, so it's perfectly legal to monitor them ^^

    And how are the governments supposed to combine their planned socialism with capitalism running loose XD ?

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  69. I'm now on World 8 of 3d Land with worlds 1-7 cleared 100% except for maybe one flag. I don't think Bores will review it since he already did. Remember, talking about an E3 preview counts as a review.

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  70. Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that I've moved my blog (AwesomeSauce Games, linked on the right) over to blogspot so everyone can comment easier. For the next few days or so I'll be reposting all the old post.

    BTW, anyone else having problems with the comment box taking forever to appear?

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  71. @Shaolin Dave

    No, the comment box is working fine for me.

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  72. The link to his first road trip video is removed. Too bad I really wanted to see it

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  73. @x
    Here's another version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVsrGHF5ef4

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  74. So I've been thinking about the theory that Bores only does game reviews because he was doing a bunch of random crap hoping to get popular, and the Irate Gamer was just the one that caught on, and was wondering: what if someone used that as the premise for a web series. My idea was that the central character could be a guy doing what Bores was doing (though he'd probably be less of a douche), only he never has the same stroke of dumb luck. But this guy has made it his life's goal to become an internet celebrity of some sort, yet always fails completely. But one day, he meets this other dude, who's seen some of the first guy's work. Other dude ALSO wants to become famous on the internet, but for a different reason; This guy wants to rule the world, and believes that he can do this by becoming the most popular internet celebrity in the world. So these guys end up teaming up, and each episode is about them researching various aspects of the internet, all the while trying to combine them into what they hope will be the ultimate internet... thing ever. I'm aware it sounds ridiculous, just a random idea that I had.

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  75. Bores posted an update on his Facebook. He says the lack of updates was due to a death in the family and he'll try to have something up by the end of the week.

    That explains the lack of content.

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  76. @lordlaharl:

    There can only be ONE most popular internet celebrity :P !

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  77. It's nice to see that Mario is willing to sort things out with PETA:
    http://www.dorkly.com/video/27944/dorkly-bits-mario-responds-to-peta

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  78. My FB informant has shown me some of the comments people left on IG's latest post about his family loss.
    While there are people showing sympathy, there are quite a lot of "WHEN R U REVIEWING 3DS?" "DO U HAVE 3DS?" "WILL U REVIEW MW3?" "HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY" and others that are just ignoring what he said.
    I am disgusted that this is how his fans react to sad news. Completely ignoring it. Just... mind-blowing.

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  79. I feel really sorry for the guy, and i must say this: his fanbase is terrible. Some of these comments are mind-fucking blowing. "Cheer up Chris, game on!" - yea, cos nothing serious happened!
    "Sorry for your loss Chris its understandable but will be worth it because you put out such high quality content" - It will be worth it? How's so? Quality gonna improve?

    I have no words.

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  80. Cripes! Things Not to Say to Someone Mourning the Loss of a Family Member!

    I'd hat to be in a position like that: grieving but having people expect you to entertain them.

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  81. Wow. I actually feel bad for the guy now. I also hope that this'll open his eyes to the fact that his fans are a bunch of stupid ten year-olds. I doubt that'll happen, though.

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  82. @lordlaharl

    It just shows how they care only about the character and games. Man behind the show seems to be less important for them.

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  83. Yeah, just looked at his page myself earlier. Seems to me most of the commenters are sympathetic and appropriate. The "Game on! lol!" comments are just a few, at least last time I checked

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  84. @lordlaharl

    By the way I like your idea for a series about a guy trying to become an internet celebrity..

    It may sound funny, but I really like Third Rate Gamer as a character. That one time when he was watching James' Castlevania review and got sad because he had already reviewed it. Awwww. Plus, with TRG you know it's just a character.

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  85. I actually feel bad for Chris Bores. I'm amazed. Most of it is empathy due to my losing two family members to cancer this year, but part of it is that I feel bad that he has fans that can treat him like shit during a time of need. Yeah, we rip on him all the time, but we aren't fans and we know that losing a loved one isn't something to joke about. His fans (at least some of them) don't even care and just want more videos.

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  86. This situation with Bores and his fans reminded me of a quote:

    "Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you."

    I know we aren't his enemies and we just dislike his work and the way he goes about it, but really what did Bores expect of his fans? He has built himself up by pandering to the lowest demographic, making the choice that rather than focus on improving the quality of his work he just wants to do progressivly less work and still get paid. Maybe this will be the wake up he needs to realise that as a 31 year old man its time he put some effort into his chosen path.

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  87. @ BatDan

    Wow, that's messed up. There was a death in Bores's family and yet fans are still asking him when will a new video comes out. That's really sad. This shows how silly his fans are and not showing any sympathy for him when one of the family memebers died. They are not mature at all.

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  88. Weird there seems to be more sympathy on this blog for IG then from his own fans.

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  89. We sure live in strange times...

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  90. How disgusting are some? someone in Bores's family died and these so-called "fans" of his (just some of them like others pointed out) treat it like it's not a big deal? no wonder some people claim this is the worst generation of kids today, because of shit like this.

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  91. @DynamiteNinja

    *How disgusting are some people?*

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  92. @DynamiteNinja
    I personally agree. I'm part of that generation and I don't know how heartless and unsympathetic those kids can get. I wonder what Chris thinks about them.

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  93. @Derek

    I think it looks something like this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQI___0B00M

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  94. Well, Bores has a new contest video up. This time, he's giving away a downloadable code for Burgertime for Xbox live.

    Also, his new Irate Gamer Neo review is now up. This time, he's reviewing Batman Arkham City.

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  95. @blueluigi

    And remember when he is ''reviewing'' something popular he will say
    ''I am big fan'' as always.

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  96. Well, the new review seems to fit his checklist pretty well.

    -Post more than a month after the game's release
    -Claim to be a big fan
    -Gush over graphics
    -Talk about things that anyone who played or even heard about the original already know
    -Complain about minor detail
    -Provide vague/inaccurate dates
    -Shoehorn in reference to current holiday
    -Sound like he has his mouth full and has a bad head cold

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  97. Why was he so confused over the connection between Thanksgiving and reviewing Arkham City, but not that and reviewing Donkey Kong Country Returns? I'm pretty sure he never played Arkham Asylum either, since he didn't mention that any of the gameplay stuff he noted from Arkham City was from that game (Detective Mode and what-not). I mean, the video wasn't that painful (save for the bit at the end - that hurt), but it really showcases his inability to give a useful review.

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  98. Okay I loved Arkham Asylum (as did most people) and I'm yet to play Arkham City, but this review is terrible.

    First of all you can tell he didn't play AA, not just because he fails to notice everything he mentioned could be said about the first game, but also because he talks about how "The actors from the Batman Animated Series are here". Umm... If they needed a mention then why not just point out they are back from the last game? Or better yet point out that this is Mark Hamill's final time voicing the Joker.

    Also in so far as making me want to buy the game this video fails. Okay so he says that the game has alot of villains but he only mentions 4 main vilains and 2 Glorified Henchmen (Oh and Soloman Grundy is awesome
    [and he screwed up that clip]). As for Catwoman, he has to choose that shot that holds on her clevage... keep it classy Bores.

    More pointless points:
    "You'll be running around Gotham City... with tons of sidequests and chances to level up your character" - Firstly this isn't Gotham city, its just a small section of its old slums and really an opened world sandbox game's sequel that is also known to be an open world sandbox has sidequests! Tell me more oh wise sage.

    "You'll be doing puzzles... and some of them can get you killed" - Hey Bores what part of jumping over a molten furnace counts as a detective puzzle? Also when you were dangling above an instant death trap, what did you think dropping would do?

    "Even Dying was cool in this game" - That was in the last game

    "and it involves a great storyline" - Which you never talked about, you know what I just realised something, Bores never talked about the story or about the gameplay (as in the signiture timing combat) ... So what did he talk about? Really? There is nothing of substance here!

    the ending - Oh Bite me Bores.

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  99. Like I said. I'm sure he's never played this game. I could give the exact same review from watching the gameplay trailers.

    It doesn't surprise me that his fans are posting insensitive things about the death in his family. I mean they do think he's a good reviewer and has "quality" videos, while typing in broken caps lock...

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