Thursday, December 8, 2011

Kinnikuman Should Deliver a Kinniku Buster to IG

The new I Rate the 80s is out, and sadly it’s not MTV. Making that last scene in the Madballs video a full-blown Big Lipped Alligator Moment. He probably saw that Family Guy episode with the same joke and thought “I have filters, I can do the exact same thing! I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense.”

Instead he’s going back to M.U.S.C.L.E. oh joy. At least he knows the series real name now, Kinnikuman, and put it in the title. Though, that’s just the title, he may not say it in the actual video.

*reads description* A new 80s toy? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

0:05 - 0:38: “Today we’re turning back the clock” Ugh, he sounds like a kid’s show.
“We must first travel to Japan” Do I sense green-screen bullshit?
Actually, we just get an effect where footage falls on top of him. Footage of CHINA! That’s not Japan you damn idiot! Not all Asians are alike Bores.
He brings up how the series started in Shonen Jump. Which one? The weekly one or the monthly one? Okay he says “weekly comic series” but remember there were two versions of the same magazine.
He also pronounces Kinnikuman’s name wrong. Not that shocking. If he couldn’t be bothered to pronounce Alexey Pajitnov, issues with Japanese names wouldn’t surprise me.

He mentions how it started as a joke comic (neglecting to mention how it was also an Ultraman parody) until it developed into a wrestling action series. Kind of like how Negima started as a Harem series, then became an over-the-top action series. Or how Medaka Box started as a slice-of-life comedy, then became a meta action series. Or how Bleach started as a bland Yu Yu Hakusho rip-off, then became a horrifically god-awful Yu Yu Hakusho rip-off. What?

0:39 - 0:52: He lists off some of the crazy wrestlers, then a voice rings out “That’s right!” Team Rocket?
No, it’s his Kinnikuman M.U.S.C.L.E. figure appearing out of nowhere, growing in size and jumping on top of him. Wooow, that was a bad effect. I sense this is going to be a running joke…

0:53 - 1:23: He briefly mentions the anime (and no he never says manga or anime at any point in this video) and then gets to the figures.
He brings up the first series having Kinnikuman, his sidekick (you mean Alexandria Meat?) his father (Mayumi Kinniku, what is with you and names?) his friends and enemies. Since he brought up Benkiman earlier (or, the urinal with legs) he mentions he came in a later set.
Then we get a scene with Bores trying to find a bathroom, stumbles across Benkiman, and he suddenly grows eyes and says “aw crap”. … Even though this was probably their intention, somehow I imagine Takashi Shimada and Yoshinori Nakai would be ashamed of this.

1:24 - 1:39: More history, Mattel brought the action figures over to America.
Oh no, another young Bores sketch. Why does he look like Mario? Also, if he’s supposed to be a kid, why is he taller than the store shelf? We’re supposed to buy that Bores is six years old here, and unless he was some freak of nature as a child then he shouldn’t be that tall! I’m sorry, but if you’re going to do stupid sketches like that then I’m going to point out how fucking stupid they are!

1:40 - 2:16: He brings up that they brought over the toys but not the anime or the manga. Well, for the anime it had to be heavily HEAVILY censored. Keep in mind this was still the 80s when G.I. Joe was forced to laser guns and toilet humor was not allowed. Don’t forget that anime was not popular in the 80s. Sure you had Voltron, you had Battle of the Planets, but outside of small circles it was not well-known. Plus, Kinnikuman’s unique art style would make it difficult to pull a “Carl Macek” and combine it with other unrelated shows.

As for the manga, well… the market was non-existent. Sure there was stuff like Barefoot Gen, Golgo 13, Lone Wolf and Cub, but there was really no market for it overall. Not like today. Plus, if they were going to make it for kids then it would require even more censorship. Because what’s intended for kids in Japan is MUCH different than what’s intended for kids in other countries. Fist of the North Star? Meant for kids. Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure? Meant for kids. See what I’m getting at?

He then goes into how Kinnikuman was renamed Muscle Man (which is a completely accurate translation) and some other annoying name changes. I would be fair to this part, but he ruins it with another scene of his Kinnikuman figure jumping on top of him. I knew it would be a running joke. Watch as he Kinnku Drivers it into the ground.

2:17 - 2:46: He notes how the American figures were different due to a bigger size and harder plastic. Wait, did you really waste money buying the Japanese versions? Why?
He found the idea of putting them in a garbage can case “cool”, notices a figure shaped like a garbage can (I’m not sure if that’s true), then Kinnikuman walks on. IG shoos him away, then he jumps on him again. COME ON you just did that joke! It’s dead now, don’t do it again.
EDIT: The "garbage can man" is actually a blender man named Mixer Taitei. Thanks to RW64 for this info.

2:47 - 3:12: He brings up other M.U.S.C.L.E. merchandise like colored figures and a poster that reveals there were 233 figures to collect. He mentions one figure he has that was left off the poster and is “highly collectible”. Kinnkuman walks on screen AGAIN and IG tells him to back off. Thankfully, he doesn’t jump on him again. But if he’s still using him, he will eventually.
Also, there were 236 figures. The poster was just missing a few.

3:13 - 3:39: IG mentions figures that were released only in Japan He lists a few off, ending on a baby Kinnikuman (Mantaro?) IG looks at it, tosses it into his disposal, and destroys it. What’s wrong with babies? No really, why did he do that?

3:39 - 4:29: He brings up how everything was over in 1987, the manga was done, the anime was over, and the toys stopped.
But then he brings up a giant box with all the figures released years later. Okay so that’s how he got the Japanese versions. He didn't spend days scouring eBay for them. Well, he probably scoured for this box but still…
He says it’s awesome but then gets angry because he wanted the anime dubbed in English. You know, fansubs exist… oh wait if your Tekken 6 video is anything to go by then you hate reading. Yeah, an English dub isn’t happening.

He does bring up Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei in Japan) but that was a sequel series and… oh no he’s planning to do an episode on it? It wasn’t made in the 80s, how can you… forget it the video is almost over.

He moves onto the rating. He loved the figures as a kid, but was disappointed they never aired the anime (again, censorship) giving it a “Nostalgic Mediocre”. Just because they didn’t air the anime? What kind of reasoning is that?

Angered by this rating, Kinnikuman appears and tries to jump him again. This time IG stands up and they start “fighting”. Oh dear lord these effects. It would have been less embarrassing to fight the actual tiny figure. The two go behind the desk, the giant hand action figure taps the table three times, and IG gets up “victorious”. He’s the only one, I feel like I was just mindfucked.

That was horrible! His logic behind the rating made little sense, the sketches were painful, the effects were vomit-inducing, he mixed up China and Japan, and the review portion was just as dull as usual. If this is the dominant series now, this is going to get painful.
On the bright side, we won’t see a review of M.U.S.C.L.E. for the NES since he already did one! … Wait, why didn’t he bring that up? This would have been perfect to get more ad revenue from that video. Did he seriously forget? Given how he says he doesn’t remember the games he reviews, I wouldn’t be surprised.

You know, I make jokes about him covering AIDS and Saddam Hussein since he declared he’ll cover “everything” from the 80s, but then I realize that there are only two things on this show. Toys and food. Is that all we’re going to see? That’s just sad.

I’m hoping this is his last video of the year. He’ll probably do some dumb contest or trailer review, something not worth covering. However, his site says the next History of Video Games episode is coming Winter 2011. So by the end of this month. We’ll see if that really happens.

What the fuck is a muscle?

UPDATE: Turns out Bores had a reason for not using anime and manga.
When asked about it from a YouTube user, he said "I refrained from using those terms for the mass audience"
... Where do I start?
1. It's not 1985 anymore, anime and manga are fairly mainstream!
2. What mass audience? The people likely to watch your videos know exactly what anime and manga are. You aren't getting old people wondering what this "new-fangled animu" is, most of your audience is kids!
3. Screw you, you insulting shit head. Once again, you take your audience for idiots. This is why people hate you Chris.

Special thanks to Zidane Tribal (a user, not the FFIX character) for getting this screencap: http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/5426/proofirategamer.png

60 comments:

  1. Here's a little bit of info: Benkiman could flush his opponents into a void in his plumbing, no matter how big they were. Sure he was just a one-off villain, but was popular enough just because of weird he was (considering how strange characters were in Kinikuman, that's something)

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  2. To be fair to Bores, the only things that existed to him in the 80s WERE toys and food.

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  3. BTW, the "garbage can man" is actually a blender man.

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  4. Proof that Bores thinks his fans are dumb.


    http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/5426/proofirategamer.png

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  5. And the rerelease box was originally available only as a bonus in a very expensive box set of the anime. And it also had new figures.

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  6. @Rafael
    In a series like this, you really have to stand out.

    @RW64
    Ahh, I see. Thanks for the info.

    @ZidaneTribal
    ... The fuck? That's just insulting. God damn it Bores.

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  7. To be fair, do you really want to see him cover anything that happened in the 80's more complicated than food and toys? I can only imagine what would happen if he tried to discuss the political issues of the time.

    On a side note, I actually happen to be a big fan of Negima.

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  8. @ZidaneTribal:

    What "mass audience" is he talking about XD ?

    And I think I know why he didn't mention his NES review: "What the fuck is a muscle?". If he was such a great fan of the toys, he would've remembered it in this other review, wouldn't he?

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  9. Stuff he didn't mention:
    Brocken Jnr., a nazi (who has a special attack that is breathing the gas used in concentration camps), being one of the series' heroes and one of the factors that led to the series being unable to be released in foreingn markets.
    The 7 films.
    The fact that there are 2 animes, with the 2nd covering the manga's last saga.
    The other 2 videogames released in the 80s (and this counts
    more as a problem with his M. U. S. C. L. E. review, not talking about the japanese version, that changed Brocken Jnr. [complete with gas attack] being replaced by Geronimo [and not mentioning the golden contest cartridge, wich is one of the most expensive FamiCom cartridges]).
    The 29th and 30th anniversary, wich were commenmorated with already mentioned box set, video games and a ''national holiday''.
    And others that I can't remember right now.

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  10. I was expecting him to call the anime japanimation. Just to show how he loves the 80s as much as Seth MacFarlane.

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  11. I really can't believe he hasn't abandoned History of Video Games by now. He started, what, three and a half years ago, and he only has four parts to show for it? Amazing.

    And this video - I like how at the end he said there was other shit, but that's for another video, when he could have easily included it since this one was only five minutes long.

    One more thing:

    @ZidaneTribal

    Someone should tell him that the 10-year-olds who actually like his shit know what anime and manga are.

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  12. There is nothing wrong with Irate gamers muscle video, you were just taking everything in the most negative way possible to make it seem bad, also japanese cartoons suck, so stfu and enjoy the video

    Also, why do you hate family guy? It is funny and good

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  13. oh wait, you are forcing yourself NOT to enjoy the video

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  14. @Keith:

    Considering he won't get to the SNES till part 26, I'm pretty sure he'll die of old age long before he gets there.

    @BatDanNight:

    Stop stealing other people's identities, Charlie.

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  15. @CharlieSucks
    Dude, I like Family Guy and I STILL think Bores is full of shit. Also, I'll bet you haven't even watched any anime that hasn't aired on the Disney Channel or Cartoon Network, or even anything on Cartoon Network that's on after 10 o'clock.

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  16. @lordlaharl
    I like watching south park and robot chicken

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  17. I just had to mention this, incase anyone hasn't; The first picture that Boring Man put up during his cutaway to "Japan" was a poster for Jump Ultimate Stars, not one of the Weekly Shonen Jump's covers. Sure it does relate to (Weekly) Shonen Jump in a way, but if he'd wanted to be more accurate, he could've used one of the magazine's covers.

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  18. @RW64
    Wow, thanks for all the info.

    @Keith
    His reason for taking so long? "Job security". I call bullcrap.

    @Justin De Lucia
    Yeah, I could tell that wasn't a Weekly Jump cover. I didn't mention it because it was related to Jump so... yeah.

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  19. @BatDanNight also, WTFIWWY in those posts attacking me?

    More stuff that was in my mind when I was wrinting that infodump:
    No mention that the japanese figures are called kinkeshi and thagt they are also rubbers
    No mention of the Ramenman spinoff anime, or the 15 kinkeshi figures (made in the style of the M. U. S. C. L. E.s) that came with it (one of then gaining notoriety with M. U. S. C. L. E. internet community in the 90s under the names of "X-2" and "Futuristic Goalie" due to the M. U. S. C. L. E. similarities.
    I was expecting him to do "joke" based on the fact that Neptune Man looks like Hulk Hogan.

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  20. The other BatDanNight isn't me. It's a 12 year old IG fanboy named Charlie posing as me. Click his name to see he has no profile. I do have a profile.

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  21. @BatDanNight Sorry didn't know.

    Also, wasn't him the Northern Irish kid 2600theeatari?

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  22. Bores can't tell China and Japan apart? Yeah, I totally believe that he's studied chinese martial arts for 8+ years.

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  23. Has someone made a comment on that video saying that the footage was China and not Japan? I'd like to see Bores's response. I mean after all he did call North Korean soldiers "Vietnamese" soldiers on one of his 2010 E3 videos.

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  24. @BatDanNight

    I guess he must go to his real job and promise to keep making HOVG videos as long as they keep him employed. Which means his real job must be as a professional babysitter, which actually makes a lot of sense. Cousin Joey is his outlet of venting the annoyances of the kids he has to watch and entertain, and his jokes are a by-product of his profession and inability to tell jokes for any other type of audience. The Babysitters Club originated in 1986 so maybe that'll be the next I Rate the '80s. Goddamn I've thought way too far into this.

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  25. I checked the comments and saw a guy comment on how he mixed up China and Japan.
    The fans say it was an acceptable mistake like the forklift from Doug's review.
    I still don't know how Chris could get the footage without knowing the country it was from.

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  26. @Derek
    The thing is, it's much easier to be lenient with Doug's mistakes because

    a) He posts a new Nostalgia Critic each week, along with whatever else he might post. Oversights like that are bound to come up now and again with that tight a schedule. With Bores, he takes his sweet time with all his stuff, so one would hope the extra time might go towards editing such mistakes.

    b) Doug is usually honest about such mistakes, even making two videos dedicated to them. Of course if Bores were to make a "mistakes" video, well...

    c) A slip up that major is pretty rare in the NC reviews. I'm pretty sure Bores makes at least one in every other video that exceeds two minutes in length.

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  27. "Making that last scene in the Madballs video a full-blown Big Lipped Alligator Moment."

    Must you always use TGWTG jokes in these recaps, it's one thing when TV Tropes makes it a trope...(why?) but it's another when it's used frequently here. This TGWTG brownosing is getting out of hand

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  28. @Invisible Crane
    Chill, dude. It's common terminology by this point. It's always annoying when people get up in arms over "feeding the egos of internet celebrities" or whatever.

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  29. @Charleston Chewbacca

    you're not fooling anyone bitchcakes. try harder if you dare.

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  30. Batdan: Your blog inspired me. I sent a comment to LadyBuggin777 (you know, the Lamer's so-called "mother") saying thus, hoping that it makes her realize what her 'son' is doing (assuming she doesn't delete it). Here is what I said:

    "Lady, your son (if you really are his mother, which I doubt) is a plagiarist. He is a liar. He is not funny. You supporting him is just making it more embarrassing. Please, please, PLEASE, if you really are his mother and not some troll on the internet, make him STOP."

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  31. ^Dammit, the bitch deleted the comment. Guess I shouldn't be surprised.

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  32. @Derek:

    I guess his fans can't tell the difference, either.

    @Invisible Crane:

    If anyone would complain about a meme or piece of internet slang he can't stand anymore, we'd be here all day XD

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  33. @Keith

    You know that actually makes a lot of sense, probably untrue (I heard Chris works in his parents art shop or something) but I prefer your babysitter idea, yet again the idea of Chris babysitting is scary...

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  34. I knew he will never cover MTV. God dammit.

    BTW BatDan, I spotted an inconsistency. When he picks up Mantaro, he's wearing short sleeves but after he throws him into the disposal and turns the switch on, he's wearing long sleeves.

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  35. Ugh.

    To be honest though, his videos have gotten... less terrible? At this rate in some 50 years I might even go as far to call him half-way decent.

    Also why the fuck is this series called I Rate The 80s? He doesn't rate a decade and you can't rate a decade. He's rating toys and candy from the 80s. Bores, you ignorant slut.

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  36. @Mark Otaku
    There's a section of his fanbase that believes his name isn't spelled "Irate Gamer" but "iRate Gamer". Believing he intended a pun, not realizing "Irate" is a synonym for "Angry".

    Bores also wanted to bring back the ill-fated Breakfast Rants somehow so he saw the fans say "iRate" and retooled the Breakfast Rants into ... this.

    As for him getting less terrible? It varies. Sometimes he'll make horrible shit, other times it won't be as bad. It'll still be bad but not as bad as before.

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  37. Well, at least he doesn't go to something who will require so much effort (yeah right) like Ayatollah Kohmeini. Though his IG logic always baffles me. He likes the toys yet, because the anime wasn't released, that makes the toys forgettable? I, myself would be glad to have a toy from something even if I never watched or heard of the anime/movie/etc before doing some research, just for history's sake.

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  38. @DrZulu2010
    I'm getting memories of Goonies 2.

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  39. @MarkOtaku

    You Know, because its not like his name came out from someone else......................

    oh Wait.

    Oh Confusing Japanese and Chinese Cultures, That's Racism 101 right there, Michale bay Should be Proud.

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  40. Hardly, lynching black people is racism 101, confusing two cultures is simply ignorance.

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  41. Update from my Facebook informant.

    He said the next IG episode won't be for a while since wants to get a "couple" of History of Video Games episodes out.

    Great, so not only will the History series never end, but this stupid story he's doing will never end either.

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  42. @BatDanNight

    A "couple" of HOVGs? Does that mean we'll finally see him uploading two of thes within the same month?

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  43. Its funny considering at the rate technology evolves the internet will be obsolete by the time he gets to the Atari Lynx

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  44. Warning: Any comments from Charlie will be deleted now unless he changes his name to something else.

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  45. @ Clark

    The time traveler will get to the year 802,701 and find out the video on the Genesis would be coming out later that week.

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  46. @BatDanNight

    good. how did that little scrotum sucker do that anyway? (copy your profile)

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  47. @DynamiteNinja

    All Charlie did was adjusted his profile settings. He set his profile to private, changed his display name to "BatDanNight," and uploaded or linked BatDan's avatar as his own.

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  48. I don't think this is the first time Charlie has impersonate BatDanNight. At least I think it was him.

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  49. @Charlie:

    If you want your complaints to be taken seriously, you're doing something wrong.

    @Keith:

    Genesis? More like SG-1000.

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  50. (only one way to deal with a juvenile troll)
    Leave Charlie alone. He is just upset because of all the men who have had sex with his mum. Imagine how sad it must make Charlie to lie in his room crying while listening to his mother getting pounded by guy after guy. Knowing that when he gives her cold emotionless face a kiss before school in the morning that it has been covered in the semen of at least two dozen paying customers the night before. Its okay Charlie just let it out, its not your fault that your mum is a massive whore

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  51. @Charlie
    I've seen trolls like Liquid Chris and BlueSpike. You're nothing compared to them. Look at them and learn that trolling is more than spamming and shouting.

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  52. @clark
    that is not true, how dare you say that about my own mother!

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  53. @Clark
    While I in no way condone trolling and I do think Charlie is a bit of a moron, however you have crossed a line. Seriously dude it is never okay to bring in and insult family members like that, what if something horrible had/has happened to them, that would just make your comment even more repelant. I know that we want to beat up on the little shit who has nothing better to do than come in here and annoy all of us/defend the grown 31 year old man who doesn't appear to be "bother by small time cumudgenes like [us]". But still you should try to be better than they are, and you certainly shouldn't sink to their level.

    @Charlie
    Seriously dude look at yourself. I know getting on here and upsetting 'dorks' like us is probably a whole lot of fun for you, but you really only make yourself look like a total dumbass. If you want to defend the Irate Gamer and his body of work then thats fine, but I think we'd all rather if you didn't do it by just being generally annoying and childishly antagonistic. Again I understand that this is what people think the internet can be for, namely that sense of anonymity, and it would be churlish of me not to admit I have used that same sense(though I do it more to get out writings and ideas), but when I talk I try to remain calm and adult in my discussions and if I do disolve into shouting and general anger I try to appologies and retake my opinions when my more rational demeanour returns.

    So what I am saying (in short) is: Stop using the internet and this blog as a way to work out your passive agressive issues and speak like an adult (or at least someone above the age of 6) if you want people to take you and your opinion seriously.

    Now off to my child psychology exam. Caio all.

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  54. @ Charlie

    Hello Charlie. I can picture you being a penniless and jobless hobo when you grow up.

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  55. @Relinquo Spes

    Thats the point though .
    Charlie come up with something better because what I wrote is how you seem to every one. Trolling can be funny just look up some one like David Thorne http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

    Or better yet if you wan't to defend IG and are willing to put the time into it that you have come up with counter arguments.

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  56. bores stupidity never ceases to amaze me i mean NEVER
    he pretends to have previous knowledge of kinnikuman despite his fucking review of muscle being proof that he had no fucking idea what kinnikuman was
    how long must his pathetic charade go on?
    this sad man baffles me
    also he mentions the appeal of figures coming packaged in a trash can? and that he loved them as a kid
    wtf was he talking about
    as if he was a kid and thought that idea was cool? wtf was he talking about
    yea when i was a kid i LOVED FIGURES PACKAGED IN A TRASH CAN
    WTF WAS THAT this dude is a serious fuckin moron
    no wonder why he has so much trouble finding alternate voices for his characters i honestly cannot see anyone wanting to hang out with this retard manchild he definitely has mental problems
    i mean who the fuck would be this guys friend
    if a chick ever saw his videos they would stay the fuck away from him like the plague
    i bet the ladys really love his room covered in nintendo posters and TOYS
    yea chris bores is a fuckin ladykiller the man is practically being smothered by women LOL

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  57. Nah...Kinnikuman should perform a Muscle Spark on the Irategamer

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  58. Being a fan of Kinnikuman myself, I just wanted to beat the stupid out of him as I saw the video.

    Also, apparently I got blocked from his YouTube channel. Cute.

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  59. My god.
    Never have I seen Bores be more inept at this.
    If this is any indication, I consider his Irate The 80s series to be far worse than the standard Irate Gamer videos.
    He may have been able to get away with this on public access TV, but in the age of the internet; you're not going to find many people who haven't watched an anime or read a manga. So, unless you're performing this in a cafeteria, ask somebody, Bores, or everyone is going to know you pulled a statement out of your ass.
    I also hated how he kept pronouncing it "Kenny-coo-men" instead of "Kin-nick-oo-man." If I ever see him in real life, I'm going to pronounce his last name as "Boars" just to piss him off.

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