It’s been quiet here, hasn’t it? Bores hasn’t done anything new since Christmas, not even a contest. This can actually be explained, he said on Facebook and his site that he’s sick. Combined with his lazy work ethic, don’t expect anything new until February. Redux Recap it is then.
Today’s recap is on his review of Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure. A Wii-exclusive point-and-click adventure game that didn’t sell very well due to poor advertising, cartoon graphics that probably turned people off, and being on the Wii in 2007 (when games weren’t plentiful). I’m just guessing but those sound like good reasons.
Using the Wayback Machine, I learned this video came out May 2008 on GottGame. Seven months after Zack & Wiki came out in North America. Even back then Bores reviewed games months after they came out.
0:17 - 0:30: “This week, we’re reviewing Zack & WEE-KEY for the Wii” That’s not how you pronounce Wiki. It’s “Wih-key” like in Wikipedia. First line of the video!
He claims he doesn’t know how to feel about it, then goes into a small rant about how he either hates a game or enjoys a game, but this one is different. You mean this game is just average or mediocre? Oooh, perish the thought! How dare a game just be okay!
This guy is attempting to be a reviewer, yet he’s only able to deal in absolutes. This is bad form!
0:31 - 1:31: He goes into the story, being as vague as possible. “You collect treasure… that’s good enough right?“
He calls Wiki a Pokemon-looking thing and wonders what he is. He’s a monkey, a magical monkey that can transform into tools for your adventure.
He also calls Zack dumb as a box of rocks and shows a clip of him falling. It should be noted that scene is from the tutorial where Wiki has the player click away an umbrella. Also, Zack is a silent protagonist meant to represent the player with Wiki being your “Navi”. So I’m not sure where he got this idea that he’s supposed to be dumb.
He brings up “interesting characters” you meet around the game. Those are all characters you meet in the hub, before you do missions. He casually mentions Barbaros, implying that he’s not important when finding his body is the entire driving force of the plot! He doesn’t even mention Captain Rose, the antagonist.
He also says he enjoyed the “little comedic cutscenes” throughout the game. Given all the footage he shows, I have serious doubts he actually beat the game.
IG goes over the concept of going to various areas and finding treasure chests to put Barbaros back together. You know, you could have mentioned how this is important in your story synopsis up there.
1:31 - 1:48: Around here he gets into the “downsides”. *holds up shield* Here we go.
He says it’s not an action game but “more like a puzzle game”. Well, it’s a point & click adventure game. You know, like Monkey Island or Sam & Max or Maniac Mansion. It’s kind of obvious.
“The way the controls are set up are racially different from anything I ever played” This was the Wii’s early days when they were still experimenting. Bores, it’s an adventure game! Like Day of the Tentacle or Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis.
He then says this should be on PC because you keep pointing and clicking. …GOD DAMN IT! How stupid is he? How the hell did GottGame (back when they had two T’s) think this was a good idea when he clearly has no idea what a point & click adventure game is?!
1:48 - 2:24: He continues complaining about the controls saying it’s all you do, whining about all the clicking. You know, I’m glad he didn’t review TellTale’s Back to the Future. Because THIS IS IDIOTIC! This video is only 3 minutes 15 seconds, most of it is complaining about how you “point and click” in a point -and-click adventure game! Ugggh.
He then does a stupid gag about how it gets so annoying he wants to click on his garbage can and throw it out. He’d probably brag how this simple effect took so much time to perfect.
IG follows up with a complaint about how after a cutscene he can’t find his pointer. It’s right there, in the upper-left. How can you not see that? It’s not that hard to find.
2:25 - 2:48: IG brings up how you use your Wii-mote to do various actions with a little guy in the corner telling you what to do. On the third one, he’s doing a sawing motion… except Bores thinks it “doesn’t look right”. Oh look, a masturbation joke. A recycled one too since he did the exact same joke in Zombies Ate My Neighbors (before changing it). This is just boring!
The video fizzles out with Bores saying he likes it but it could have been better, and that people should rent it. Zzzzzz.
Well that was awful. When it wasn’t full of massive ignorance it was just duuuuuuull. Bores had no energy, it sounded like he just woke up. Again, how does he not know what a point-and-click adventure game is? He’s not 10, he was alive when they came out!
It was quite obvious he only played the first two levels as that's all the footage shows. Lazy and terrible!
On the bright side, it could have been worse. Barbaros is a skeleton and he could have had a scene with Ronnie showing up.
Yeah I know it was a short post but this was a short video where not a lot happened. Next Redux Recap will be… oh no no no. E.T. for the Atari 2600.
Perhaps Bores will release something new soon… or I could be crazy. *sees the walls bleeding blue*