Thursday, January 12, 2012

Redux Recap: Wishy-Washy About Zack & Wiki

It’s been quiet here, hasn’t it? Bores hasn’t done anything new since Christmas, not even a contest. This can actually be explained, he said on Facebook and his site that he’s sick. Combined with his lazy work ethic, don’t expect anything new until February. Redux Recap it is then.

Today’s recap is on his review of Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure. A Wii-exclusive point-and-click adventure game that didn’t sell very well due to poor advertising, cartoon graphics that probably turned people off, and being on the Wii in 2007 (when games weren’t plentiful). I’m just guessing but those sound like good reasons.
Using the Wayback Machine, I learned this video came out May 2008 on GottGame. Seven months after Zack & Wiki came out in North America. Even back then Bores reviewed games months after they came out.

0:17 - 0:30: “This week, we’re reviewing Zack & WEE-KEY for the Wii” That’s not how you pronounce Wiki. It’s “Wih-key” like in Wikipedia. First line of the video!
He claims he doesn’t know how to feel about it, then goes into a small rant about how he either hates a game or enjoys a game, but this one is different. You mean this game is just average or mediocre? Oooh, perish the thought! How dare a game just be okay!
This guy is attempting to be a reviewer, yet he’s only able to deal in absolutes. This is bad form!

0:31 - 1:31: He goes into the story, being as vague as possible. “You collect treasure… that’s good enough right?“
He calls Wiki a Pokemon-looking thing and wonders what he is. He’s a monkey, a magical monkey that can transform into tools for your adventure.
He also calls Zack dumb as a box of rocks and shows a clip of him falling. It should be noted that scene is from the tutorial where Wiki has the player click away an umbrella. Also, Zack is a silent protagonist meant to represent the player with Wiki being your “Navi”. So I’m not sure where he got this idea that he’s supposed to be dumb.
He brings up “interesting characters” you meet around the game. Those are all characters you meet in the hub, before you do missions. He casually mentions Barbaros, implying that he’s not important when finding his body is the entire driving force of the plot! He doesn’t even mention Captain Rose, the antagonist.

He also says he enjoyed the “little comedic cutscenes” throughout the game. Given all the footage he shows, I have serious doubts he actually beat the game.
IG goes over the concept of going to various areas and finding treasure chests to put Barbaros back together. You know, you could have mentioned how this is important in your story synopsis up there.

1:31 - 1:48: Around here he gets into the “downsides”. *holds up shield* Here we go.
He says it’s not an action game but “more like a puzzle game”. Well, it’s a point & click adventure game. You know, like Monkey Island or Sam & Max or Maniac Mansion. It’s kind of obvious.
“The way the controls are set up are racially different from anything I ever played” This was the Wii’s early days when they were still experimenting. Bores, it’s an adventure game! Like Day of the Tentacle or Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis.
He then says this should be on PC because you keep pointing and clicking. …GOD DAMN IT! How stupid is he? How the hell did GottGame (back when they had two T’s) think this was a good idea when he clearly has no idea what a point & click adventure game is?!

1:48 - 2:24: He continues complaining about the controls saying it’s all you do, whining about all the clicking. You know, I’m glad he didn’t review TellTale’s Back to the Future. Because THIS IS IDIOTIC! This video is only 3 minutes 15 seconds, most of it is complaining about how you “point and click” in a point -and-click adventure game! Ugggh.
He then does a stupid gag about how it gets so annoying he wants to click on his garbage can and throw it out. He’d probably brag how this simple effect took so much time to perfect.
IG follows up with a complaint about how after a cutscene he can’t find his pointer. It’s right there, in the upper-left. How can you not see that? It’s not that hard to find.

2:25 - 2:48: IG brings up how you use your Wii-mote to do various actions with a little guy in the corner telling you what to do. On the third one, he’s doing a sawing motion… except Bores thinks it “doesn’t look right”. Oh look, a masturbation joke. A recycled one too since he did the exact same joke in Zombies Ate My Neighbors (before changing it). This is just boring!

The video fizzles out with Bores saying he likes it but it could have been better, and that people should rent it. Zzzzzz.

Well that was awful. When it wasn’t full of massive ignorance it was just duuuuuuull. Bores had no energy, it sounded like he just woke up. Again, how does he not know what a point-and-click adventure game is? He’s not 10, he was alive when they came out!
It was quite obvious he only played the first two levels as that's all the footage shows. Lazy and terrible!
On the bright side, it could have been worse. Barbaros is a skeleton and he could have had a scene with Ronnie showing up.

Yeah I know it was a short post but this was a short video where not a lot happened. Next Redux Recap will be… oh no no no. E.T. for the Atari 2600.
Perhaps Bores will release something new soon… or I could be crazy. *sees the walls bleeding blue*

58 comments:

  1. Bores doesn't know what a point-and-click adventure game is? That's weird. I could have sworn he once told me he was a fan of "Space Quest".

    Well, apparently the only PC game he plays nowadays is "Garry's Mod".

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  2. @Shaolin Dave
    I'm going by the video where he complains about all the pointing and clicking, implying he doesn't know what point-and-click adventure games are.
    He could have been referring to the first three Space Quest games, those aren't point-and-click.

    Garry's Mod huh? Knowing how lazy he is, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to implement it into his videos.

    @DrGtc
    Oh yeah, forgot about that one. Another fine example, a shame it wasn't released in North America (I can understand why though).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess I can understand that in regards to Space Quest. IMO the early Space Quest games were the better ones anyway.

      Delete
    2. ...then you'd be glad to hear that a small indie group called 'infamous adventures' just released a remake of 'space quest 2'.

      i first heard of the remake back in 2006, i honestly didn't think they'd ever finish it.

      Delete
  3. @Dan

    Well you can Buy a Reprocart of Clock Tower on gamesreproductions

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  4. Well Clock Tower isn't strictly speaking a point and click adventure game, more of a hybrid between point and click and survival horror. Also, no Beneath A Steel Sky?

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  5. Adventure games have been an obscure genre for quite a while. Not -that- obscure, though. They were big when he was young, but if he only played console games I can imagine him not playing them as a child. Of course, for a supposed retro gamer to have not heard of an entire genre. . .

    I was going to wonder how he hasn't heard of the Ace Attorney series, but then I remembered that his Harvey Birdman review already told us that (not a straight point-and-click, but has enough elements for me to consider it one).

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  6. Great deconstruction as always. Anyway, 2 things:
    1). Have you seen this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPKOVrazaG4&feature=related
    2). I've heard people pronounce Wiki both ways.

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    Replies
    1. How dare he use the Super Buu theme in such a sucky video.

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  7. @Patrick

    I'd highly beg to differ about the "obscure" statement. You never heard of Telltale Games? They have been around for several years now (Most of the employes were previously from LucasArts), with most of their games being modern point and click adventures, and they're quite well-known. I can also give other examples, but I suppose you get the point. Just saying.

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  8. I'm really glad he's stayed away from Telltale. They're one of my favourite developers. These people know how to make good adventure games. Plus they've pretty much perfected episodic games. Making each feel like its own game while still connecting them to a much bigger story. Without them I probably wouldn't of found the awesomeness that is Sam & Max.

    I got Back to the Future The Game a few weeks ago on PSN. Plays pretty well with a controller. I think they captured the feelings of the movies fantastically.

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  9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0nqc2qImzc
    What is this I don’t even.

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  10. What do you think of david savage Roken?(aka game boob.)

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    Replies
    1. only two words, NOT FUNNY!!!!

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    2. and most important he and asalieri are racist.
      And what do you think of him?

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    3. His miyamoto answers and asa's pissed jose.

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    4. Well, at first Game Boob seemed like a nice breath of fresh air when it comes to parodies of IG and overall internet Assholes.

      the "Mr Miyamoto", yeah is racist, but it's supposed to be a parody of IG racism, but then again he thinks he ca get away with distateful stuff in his videos, like a clip he used during his Pill Addiction sequence in his Dr. Mario Review......ewwwwwww.

      Also he not only parodies internet assholes, but good people as well, wich at first seemed fine since the parodies were for the most part, in good taste, such as his parody of HVGN and Cinema Snob, plus his parody of NC (the Super Mario RPG video) was more of a parody of Richard Kuta and the whole drama he started..............but then i saw his last video and when he showed up the Lord of the Rings DVD and he said....Doug Walker Shit!!!...........yeah...........he seems to jump on the bandwaggon of "You Know Who", plus his Superman 64 parodie video was a jab agaisnt TGWTG and the crossovers/cameos gimmick.

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    5. regardless of what, he's unfunny and painful and the rest of the people like him just want attention in a negative way, that is all.....oh and TGWTG rules!

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    6. And now i will try to avoid him and asa and rest of them at all cost, they scare me and make me fill uncomfortable. and i like
      when the folks at TGWTG make's cameos/crossovers, and don't really why some don't like, i just don't.......

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    7. There is a difference between racism and stereotyping.

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    8. From what I know, David actually takes a bit more of a neutral stance. He seems to be okay with TGWTG, but in his Game Boob videos he'll take the occasional potshots towards the cliches

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    9. Game boob is an unfunny newfag, much like everyone else from Asalieri's circlejerk of basement dwellers.

      Truth be told, neither him or anyone else nowadays really know what "parody" means, much like how Asa has no clue about the actual meaning of the First Amendment he uses to wipe his ass all of the time. Back in the IG parody days, none of the users who poked fun at the IG character actually had anything against Bores, and some of them actually had a bit of respect for him because he didn't react in a butthurt way to criticism just like, say, jfreedan did. Of course, that was before the whole scam stuff Bores started pulling recently, but you get my point.

      The matter of fact is, none of the current "parody-makers" are in the position to criticize TGWTG or anyone else. Their content is absolute trash, and are nothing more than amusing yet shitty trolling attempts. They will stay around JewTube as long as we have 12-year olds who actually somehow find their videos to be funny.

      And did I mention I became a fan of NC until recently only because of everyone trying to bash non-stop his movie and website? :3

      And woah, this comment was Tl;DR.

      Delete
    10. "Back in the IG parody days, none of the users who poked fun at the IG character actually had anything against Bores"

      I'm sorry but I have to contend with that comment. People who made IG parodies have always had a problem with Chris thought of his as a plagiarising numbskull who was trying to cash in on AVGN's popularity. (C.F. "The UPSET Gamer DVD vol 1")

      Delete
  11. @BatDanNight:

    Do you honestly believe Bores would play a game where you control your character via text input Oo ?

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    Replies
    1. Good point. He seems to hate reading subtitles and manuals... which is weird since at one point on Facebook he said he was going to "catch up on books". So which is it?

      Then again, he could be lying. He does that a lot.

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    2. Probably. Either that, or he somehow started playing adventure games during the text input era and than lost interest, somehow completely missing the point&click era.

      I can also already predict how his review of one of the old Space Quest games would look like:

      - "I don't have time to type! I gotta play the game!"

      - "Why can't this game have controls like every other game?! Imagine playing Super Mario and having to type 'jump' everytime you jump!"

      - [Insert a sudden appearance by Darth Vader and his grand plot somehow turning into a crappy Star Wars ripoff]

      Delete
  12. actually roken if you go to the game boobs other channel TheSavageExperience you'll see hes actually a nice guy.

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    Replies
    1. Sure in real life, but as his character no

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    2. Roken,myamoto was a parody of ronnie.im sorry roken but im siding with asalieri.

      Delete
  13. All this time when you guys were talking about "Game Boob" I thought you were just mocking "Game Dude", I didn't realize it was a different person.

    Well, I saw the beginning of "Mr. Miyamoto Answers", and that's all I want or need to see.

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  14. Apart from apparently having no idea what a point-and-click adventure is, being sick didn't stop other internet celebrities. Doug Walker has had laryngitis at least 3 times in his career, but he made videos without his voice (Nostalgia Critic of The Good Son using index cards and subtitles, Nostalgia Critic with Linkara and Spoony by using Microsoft Sam to deliver his lines, and the Ask That Guy Violates Ma-Ti sketch). The Archfiend recorded an anti-IG video while under a cold, and many people who viewed it thought his Skeletor-like voice from his sore throat made it better. And I have recorded at least 2 videos while I had a cold last December (which turned out to be a sinus infection after I saw a doctor about it). So, unless he had dysentery or was coughing up blood, this is just another excuse to not update. At least other web personalities have the good taste to explain why their videos are delayed (be it school, illness, or computer problems) and be civil about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You seem to be forgetting that Bores

      1)Is mildly illiterate

      2)Has no friends

      3)Already sounds like he has his mouth full half the time and with tonsillitis would most likely be incomprehensible.

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    2. At least he HAS an excuse now, which is a huge improvement over "My computer crashed, and I lost all the videos I made!"...

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    3. Yes. It is clear that I am once again giving him too much credit.

      Delete
    4. To be fair, it's hard to give him LESS credit than he deserves.

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  15. Stop wasting your fucking life, Batdan. Nobody gives half a shit about the Irate Gamer anymore.

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    Replies
    1. Oh Hey there Asa or Charlie or whatever troll you are.

      Delete
    2. Having a different opinion does not troll make, retard.

      Delete
  16. So I was looking at that "I'm sick, Dr Mario, hur hur" Facebook post, and I noticed: It has 24 likes. Who the hell "likes" an "I'm sick" post, even when it comes with a crappy joke?! His fans really are a bunch of ten-year-olds, aren't they?

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  17. I know this was a bit of a dumb idea, but after seeing Screwattack's video about the ESA supporting SOPA, I may have...messaged IG about not covering E3 this year...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...And what did you put in that message?

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    2. Well, knowing how IG tends to react to messages, I tried to act like a first-class kiss-ass. (I frequent this blog, don't worry, not a fan of the guy. And I quote: Irate Gamer, I'm admittedly not a huge fan, but seeing as how you have a pretty large amount of subscribers, I figured I'd message you about this. Recently, the ESA (the company that runs E3) has announced that they support the Stop Online Piracy Act. As you've probably heard, SOPA would allow any company to take down a website that they believe infringes copyright - and seeing as how you do movie and game reviews, this includes YOU. I'm asking you not cover E3 this year in a way of protesting ESA's support. Otherwise, your job and our Internet will be in serious danger." Hopefully this appeal to his ego works. Between IG and SOPA, IG's the lesser of two evils.

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    3. What do you think? He hasn't responded yet, but how do you think IG will respond? (If he does.)

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    4. Probably "awesome" or "sounds cool".

      I think your heart's in the right place, Randyman, but you're aiming too low. If you really want to keep people from supporting E3, I suggest you try to convince GotGame as a whole not to attend. If they don't foot the bill, you can bet Boring Man won't be going. Though if he hears that you convinced GotGame not to attend, he might make a video about blowing up your house.

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    5. Anyone know how to contact GotGame? I'm gonna go for this. And if IG reacts like a child..,let him. I don't give a crap.

      Delete
  18. i sold my killer instinct arcade machine about an hour ago. i miss it already.

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  19. On an unrelated topic, this SOPA deal is really making the rounds. Think it'll be passed? I tend to steer away from politics, but it has the potential to bring a lot of sites down.Such scary times we live in.

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    Replies
    1. You think SOPA's scary? Check out ACTA. This thing makes SOPA like like nothing.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=citzRjwk-sQ

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  20. Well, IG responded to my message. Wanna know what he said? he said, "ok." That's it. I think that he's still going to cover E3, since I can't get over the feeling that he DIDN'T EVEN READ MY MESSAGE. What a dick.

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    Replies
    1. Well, either way it looks like the ESA has taken notice of the flaws carried by the bill:
      http://games.ign.com/articles/121/1216936p1.html

      Delete
  21. You guys hear about this?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F1fnsKSw3s

    Looks like Harry Partridge has got his own version of Chris Bores.

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  22. The new Irate the 80s is out and must be seen to be believed...

    "I meant a Bud Light..."

    NARF!

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