Monday, March 12, 2012

Skylanders Drain Wallets, But What Do You Expect From Activision?

*checks messages* … There’s already a new IG video up at GotGame. Only hours apart, that must be a new record for him. Obviously he worked on both videos at the same time, but it shows a big problem with how he works. By spreading himself thin like this, it takes ages to release any kind of video. He should focus on 1-2 at a time, not 4-5 (Regular IG show, Neo, History, 80s, Haunted Investigators and that’s the bigger stuff). This still doesn’t explain why the History of Video Games episode took a long time to come out and it was only five minutes long.

So in his first Neo review since November (I imagine the GotGame higher-ups were telling him “Make a fucking video or we’re dropping you”), he looks at Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure. I haven’t played this game, I don’t want to shell out the $70+ dollars to get the starter set and a couple extra figures. But from what I’ve seen, it’s just a standard overhead action game with some RPG elements. Bastion does a better job and it’s much cheaper. Go play Bastion, it’s a better game.

Let’s begin.

0:07 - 0:18: He begins the video holding up a PS3 copy of the game while getting the title wrong. It’s called “Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventures” (or Skylanders for short) not “Spyro: Skylanders”. I know Spyro is the one that was actually in other games, but still you could have double checked.
He mentions the game has issues and he’ll cover them … “Irate Gamer style”. Errgh, why do you talk? And what is your style? You’re incredibly inconsistent.

0:19 - 1:03: After reminding us he went to E3 (because he has to open almost every Neo video with that) he says that he really enjoyed the game. But didn’t you say it had issues? Let’s hear your reasons.
But first he brings out the entire box. He says it comes with the game, three figures, and a.. port hole device? You can’t be serious. Please tell me that was a one time goof.
And now he’s showing us how to set it up. Quit insulting our intelligence! Just explain the game, the figures, and the Portal of Power. We can figure out how to set it up ourselves.
He says to plug the “port hole” in the USB… yes that really happened. He can’t say portal. I can’t blame this on his accent, the “h sound” is very pronounced. How does he not realize this is wrong?

… Keep him away from Portal and Portal 2. Along with constantly getting the name wrong, I get the feeling the humor will fly over his head.
He then shows how placing a figure on the *sighs* port hole will have it appear in the game. Seriously, port hole?
He brings up how Activision made over 30 separate figures and how each one “radically alters the gameplay” because they have a different fighting style. … You don’t fucking say.

1:04 - 1:48: He then moves onto the downsides. Ah, so here are these issues he brought up.
Due to the game’s popularity, the figures are hard to find. … Are you kidding? THIS is what you consider a downside? Oh yeah, this is totally the game’s fault. Not the fact that Skylanders came out five months ago and you’re just now getting into it, or that it’s become insanely popular with the game’s target audience (you know, kids!) I have a friend that works in Gamestop and on days they get Skylanders figures, they immediately sell out. Again, not the game or the companies fault. Blame the consumers.

Also, can’t you just shop online? Oh he does that, he quickly mentions he went to eBay to buy them at inflated prices. Well that’s what supply and demand is Chris! They have the supply, you have the demand. With that the figures rise in price. This only goes to show how little you know about economics… again.

He whines about how eBay sellers hoarded the figures all for themselves. … So they can sell them. *sighs* Story time!
eBay, November 2006. The Playstation 3 has come out. Demand is huge but supplies are limited. People camp out for days, some even got shot! Some people manage to buy 3 or 4 PS3s (despite the hefty $499-599 price tag) and proceeded to sell them on eBay for extremely inflated prices.
Point is, supply and demand exists. Sucks I know.

IG brings up that Activision issued a statement about the low supply and how they’re working to fix it. He follows up with “where’s our apology”? … You’re expecting Activision to show mercy? The same Activision that fires two key employees after their game made them millions? The same Activision that milks the fuck out of every franchise and don’t care about quality? The same Activision that refuses to publish something unless they can, in their words, exploit it? The same Activision that thought it was a great idea to release 5-6 Guitar Hero games in one year, effectively killing the rhythm game genre? The same Activision that sued Double Fine for trying to release Brutal Legend with EA despite Activision dropping it because they couldn’t “exploit” it? You have no clue who you’re talking about do you?

Here’s a thought, Activision didn’t realize the game and figures would be so popular. They were taking a risk, they knew this was a big business decision that attracted controversy from Spyro fans and could have failed. But the sales exceeded their expectations and here we are today.

IG follows up that free figures would be nice since he’s promoting the game… and he gives a shit-eating grin and posts his e-mail address on-screen. You disgusting sell-out. I can’t tell if he’s joking either since he’s done this before. This is IGN level of wrong.
Also, Skylanders came out in October. You’re late to the promotion party. No free figures for you!

1:49 - 2:27: He gets to the gameplay. He says he likes the ability to switch figures in the middle of gameplay, and lists off some of his favorites. Also saying he liked playing with every figure, except for one.
“Except for you, you’re just too slow *pause* Lava Lips” Nice read there Chris. You’d do well in a live performance of A Few Good Men. “We live in a world that *pause* has walls *pause* and those walls…”
Also, that figure’s name isn’t Lava Lips, it’s Eruptor. If “Lava Lips” was an attempt at an insult… that’s just sad.
IG brings up the eight different character classes and how it’s similar to… Magic the Gathering and Pokemon. No. It’s really not. So just because it has elemental classes it’s similar to MTG and Pokemon? Why stop there? Compare it to Captain Planet, or the crystals in Final Fantasy, or The Dark Chap- pfffft hahahahaha.
He then mentions having one of each class is required to unlock all the areas of the game.

2:28 - 2:58: IG then offers some “suggestions”. Because Activision will listen to you, and not just hear the words “cha-ching” come out of your mouth.
He mentions how it’s kid-oriented and very easy to play. … You’re not.
His suggestion is to add a difficulty option. You hypocritical moron! Do you listen to yourself when you talk? You want things easier, then you want things harder. This is getting stupid!
It’s a game intended for kids. Of course it’s going to be easier than average. I don’t want to see you talk about Dark Souls and “suggest” they add an option to make it easier.

He then mentions that the game has glitches and wants an update. Oh so now you understand how updates work and why they’re important. Making that horrid joke in the MK Arcade Kollection review completely pointless. More so than before.

IG reaches the final verdict, thank God.
Despite the issues he likes the game, and it’s one of the most fun games in a long time he’s played with younger kids. Where are you playing games with younger kids? Why are you playing games younger kids? *leans back* … Call the police.

The video ends with him delivering his stock catchphrase, touching the “Port hole” of Power… covering him in effects and putting him in the game where he superimposed himself over the Skylander and starts shooting fireballs. Oh God that’s embarrassing to watch. First that “I’m Batman” ending to Arkham City and now this, is this how he ends Neo reviews now? Making himself look like a bigger tool than before?

This review was awful. It’s almost as bad as the History video. He barely went into gameplay, showed how little he understands business and economics, and really there was nothing. What about the story? The music? Something to show that you put work into this video and didn’t just crap it out because GotGame forced you to make one.

Uggh. Two IG videos in such a short time. We won’t see that for a while… if he even goes to E3.

Because the two videos were shortly released next to each other, here’s my recap of the last one.
http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2012/03/14-months-for-fairchild-channel-f.html

Apparently even the fans hated the History video. According to SocialBlade, IG lost over 200 subscribers yesterday. This may not sound like much, but keep in mind that he has very low sub growth (never in triple digits). Are people finally seeing through his bullshit?

91 comments:

  1. Hell definitely be going to E3 dude, he still needs to extract his revenge against Ubisoft, armed with his nuclear lenscap.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to that. Though seeing how unprofessional he acted last year I wouldn't be surprised if he never gets into any convention again.

      Delete
    2. @Larry Seeing as how you are a legit gaming journalist with exposure on multiple channels in the UK it must annoy you that someone, who doesn't even care enough about gaming to look at a games start screen long enough to figure out that a fighting game like Tekken's main mode isn't the tacked on beat em' up, goes to E3 as a representative of the gaming press?

      Delete
    3. To be honest, I could go to E3 any time I wanted I can afford the flight ticket. (I'd have loved to have gone to the 2005 or 2007 one personally - such great games that year).

      But in all honesty E3 is a circus nowadays, they'll let any idiot who thinks they're a journalist attend. It's when publishers let them in to private screenings and events when they're truly legitimate. The monkeys who jump around the main floor filing anyone who'll give them the time of day are the pointless ones.

      Delete
  2. If anyone's interested, here's my review of Skylanders from my blog: http://trophyunlocked.blogspot.com/2012/01/skylanders-spyros-adventure-this-game.html

    This one was late too (it was a Christmas present), but at least I apologized for it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm guessing it took him 14 months to make that crappy special effect.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why would Activision/Blizzard want to add difficulty for older gamers? Unlike Guitar Hero this game is being marketed towards the type of demographic that will want to buy silly little toys and add ons. Some kids are buying the figures just for the figures, as much shit people can sling Activisions way for mishandling the Guitar Hero games this one so far is being marketed very intelligently probably due to blizzards influence.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Overhead action? RPG elements? Toys?

    Sure sounds like Pokémon Rumble Blast.

    Well, at least that means Chris is about 1/4 right on his comparison to Pokémon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bores told me why he blocked me. Turns out it had nothing to do with me participating in discussion here. It was because I harassed his mother, LadyBuggin777.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember some IG fans thinking that LadyBuggin777 is a troll who keeps spamming their idol. So they started to troll her back until IG blocked them. It really is a family business.

      Delete
    2. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. It IS his mom? She really is defending him!? How pathetic can a guy get?! His own mom acts like that?!?!

      Delete
  7. The interesting part I heard about this game is that while the console versions play like an action RPG and have the same starter figures, the 3DS version plays like the old Spyro games and contains a different set of figures

    ReplyDelete
  8. who wants to bet he will make another contest because of all the subscribers he is losing from the history of video games 5

    ReplyDelete
  9. Overall your rant is a D-. Here's why

    1. Same freaking thing. It's like calling Call of Duty Black ops just "Black ops"

    2. I distinctly heard him say Portal. But of course you're only hearing what you want to hear. Regardless; maybe it's an accent or a speech impediment, either way not his fault. Just you grasping at straws.

    3. How's it bad that he decided to go over the good first? Can please try to sound like you're not extremely desperate to find gaping flaws?

    4. The figures being hard to find is a reasonable complaint. And it is the company's fault. If people are still having trouble finding figures almost 6 months after the games released then the company is at fault.

    5. IF you actually thought that him "pleading" for free figures wasn't a joke, then you truly are dumber then Bores.

    6. similar to #3, you're criticizing him for bring up a valid point. Who cares if he made a dumbass joke about them in another review. It doesn't make his point any less valid.

    I don't know who's putting in less effort here. You BatDannight, or Bores. Judging by your increasing nipickyness of IG's videos, I almost want to say Bores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Overall your constant raving gets a D-.

      Also, regarding number 5, we can't really put that kind of stuff past him.

      PS: Nice wording on the last paragraph. You mean you almost want to say Bores puts the least effort? Yep, that makes sense. Except the "almost" part.

      Delete
    2. Ozzyman: 2. "Regardless; maybe it's an accent or a speech impediment, either way not his fault."

      If it's an accent or a speech impediment, sure it isn't his fault, but he is at fault for the criticism by not setting the record straight.

      Really, all it would take is for a two/three minute video explain "I pronounce some words differently because of my accent/speech impediment".

      Delete
    3. Sorry Ozzy (actually not that sorry since I suspect you're just a troll anyway), but you're dead wrong about the speech impediment/'accent' (I'm calling bullshit on the accent theory, by the way) not being his fault. Here's why -

      If you have a speech impediment, that's not a problem. If you have a speech impediment that sounds funny and makes people laugh at you but your job only requires speaking to individuals or small groups of people and isn't the focus of your role, that's also fine - for instance, if he was writing reviews, although obviously they'd still be filled with mistakes and non-sequitors.

      If you have a speech impediment and you choose a job that requires you to talk for minutes at a time to a world-wide audience, that IS a problem and I have no sympathy for you. Chris Bores claims to be an actor, but he couldn't give a shit about his elocution.

      If you listen to Doug Walker, he puts extra effort into speaking during his reviews because his regular speaking voice is more slurred. There's no excuse for not doing it. To a lesser extent I would say Linkara and Film Brain (actually, his impediment is probably worse than Bores) also could do with a bit of elocution work, but they can get away with it because their effort goes into the material and their reviews have some substance and legitimate arguments.

      When you're Chris Bores and accuracy is secondary to the skits and making the kids laugh at "diarrhoea dick-waffles" or whatever, it's unforgivable to not even be able to accentuate correctly. THAT'S why it's a problem.

      But like I said, it's pointless even making this argument as you have no interest in reasoning or 'facts' as they get in the way of your repeated attacks on a blog you know you're not going to agree with before you even read it. Still, I won't forgive myself if I don't at least try to set you on the right path.

      Delete
    4. Also, let's be absolutely clear here - calling a portal a 'port hole' has fuck-all to do with any accent or speech impediment, and absolutely everything to do with not knowing the correct terminology - i.e. laziness and hackery. Stop defending this idiot.

      Delete
    5. Heh, good old Ozzy. Fun to see you're enjoying this place. Anyway, that "porthole" thingy, i was watching Skylanders neo review with couple of my friends, we all lol'd at that part mostly because of IG's clear mispronunciation and because the word "porthole" doesn't make any sense. I was kinda surprised that you heard it differently somehow. About that "The figures being hard to find is a reasonable complaint. And it is the company's fault." Nah, it's not. It's how the industry works, when they introduce a new franchise they rarely go full speed with producing widgets. There's always a risk that franchise won't sell and all the widgets are to die on the shelves. Nobody wants that so i can't blame Activison for starting slowly during first months after the launch. Same goes to other industries, pretty much a basic thing. Your other points are also flawed, like "calling Call of Duty Black ops just "Black ops", what about calling Pokemon Black "Pokemon"? Probably makes sense to you i guess. Anyway, would be fun to nitpick you back some more but i wasted enough time on you already. See ya, keep trying.

      Delete
    6. @notorious

      It's sort of like his "oh-cult shelf" thing.

      Delete
    7. 1) No, it's like saying "Mario Bros Super" or "Starcraft Liberty: Wings". Telling only the subtitle is acceptable, shuffling randomly the title words, well, not.

      Delete
    8. It's not only that he says game titles wrong. It's that he doesn't care about the game titles at all, which you can see during his E3 videos.

      And if I would be unable to properly pronounce words like "frustrating", "flaws" and "portal", yet still decided to make videos, I'd sure as hell tell people about these speech problems, all the while trying to get rid of them.

      Delete
  10. I will admit that Skylanders: Spyro's Adventures does look cool with the whole "Portal of Power" concept, but I don't know if I will buy the game. The starter kit, plus each additional figure, adds up to too much money.

    ReplyDelete
  11. While I admit the concept of Skylanders is neat on paper (combining a video game and a trading figure game with the "Portal of Power"); I concede that it's too costly and too gimmicky for my tastes. It's very sad when I'm two-thirds of Bores' age and I understand how the economy works when he does not. He grew up in the 1980s and early 1990s. How does the idea of a merchandise driven property elude him? You'd think he'd see the connection after that stupid Masters of the Universe Irate the '80s video! Anyway, I'd be more willing to just go on Playstation Network and get a copy of Spyro: Ripto's Rage for my PSP; since I felt the series went downhill when Insomniac moved on to Ratchet and Clank, later Resistance.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Normally I would have given up by now, but it's just too much fun arguing with you narrow minded trolls.

    Seriously, if somone has a speech impediment they HAVE to make a video clearly stating they do? What nonsense is that?

    It's also hilarious how you people believe anything you hear about IG(regardless if it's legit or not) as long as it's negative.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then just give up, because you just posted the proof to show that you're a troll: Saying we're trolls ourselves.

      You can stop pretending now.

      Delete
    2. If IG has speech impediments (that are not his fault according to you), he runs the risk of getting mocked for something that's not his fault. If he doesn't says anything, nobody knows if he really has problems or is just lazy.

      Yeah, sure sounds like nonsense...

      Delete
  13. It's also cute how you call me a troll when I'm the only one here with an opened mind.

    I recognize IG legitimate flaws. But he gotten better over the years.


    unlike you narrow minded trolls; who cant give credit where it's due.

    Hell Batdannight is just jealous that his review show never caught on but IG's did.
    and Viola this blog was born in the basement of his parents house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure he's gotten better but that's like saying Stalin in the post-war era was better than Stalin during the war.

      Delete
    2. Hang on Ozzy, did you just use the jealousy argument? Tut tut Archie wouldn't approve of that.

      Delete
    3. Oh man.

      "Y'all are just jealous" is as lazy an argument as "I'd like to see you do better."

      Delete
    4. Hey, great! You're not trying anymore!

      How do I know? Not using correct grammar and proper capitalization is a dead giveaway.

      Smell ya later, Ozzytroll!

      Delete
    5. While there are going to jealous people on the net, it's best you don't use that as a counter defense. It just makes you look like a clueless kid trying to win an argument.

      Delete
    6. @Ozzyman

      Legitimate flaws? Would you care to share, after all this blog is about critiquing Bores. You done nothing but poorly attempted to debunk everyone's criticism.

      Delete
    7. The only reason IG's show caught on was because he got front paged by YouTube twice. If they hadn't came along he would have never became popular.

      Oh, and I hate the whole jealousy argument. Yeah, I'm sure he's jealous of a rapidly dying YouTuber, who can't write worth shit and is hated by a large quantity of the gaming community. But no, EVERYONE wants to be IG!

      Delete
    8. Right. Your open-minded. Which is why defend IG and try to debunk every little bit of criticism we have.

      Delete
  14. It took months for Bores to do these videos? Why do people like Ozzy defend Chris? If the HOVG video was 10-15 minutes I would understand the months delay, but it wasn’t. Nostalgia Critic and people at TGWTG make videos over twice as long as Chris's video in a WEEK. There is such a thing as a real life yes...there is also a thing as extreme laziness.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Also, Ozzy, I present you this Cracked article:

    http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think.html

    Read #5, #3 and #1.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't bother Art, he's just gonna fire back with some crap about using that as a serious source.

      Delete
    2. In all honestly I think the situation with Ozzy is like this.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeS9LHA5N3s&list=FLuq4gTUnmvckFYyCVSKZ5Sw&index=1&feature=plpp_video

      Delete
  16. I still stand by this article, specifically numbers 1, 2, and 4.

    http://www.cracked.com/funny-3809-internet-argument-techniques/

    ReplyDelete
  17. *yawns* are you all even trying. Seriously the "Jealousy is weak argument". another nice cop out.
    See isn't it better to be like Bores and ignore all the criticism?/sarcasm

    Oh, did I forget to mention how sad it is that Batdannight just writes about IG's videos instead of getting off his lazy ass and showing us the right way? Wait, he did but ended up falling flat on his face.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That defense can be applied to anything, that is how weak it is. With that said, why don't you show us how to critique a reviewer the right way?

      Delete
    2. All you're doing is trying to cover YOUR cop-out answer by calling our rebuttal a cop-out.

      And MK is right. Why don't YOU give it a try if it's so easy. Maybe us "Pathetic little trolls" will learn something, rather than sit here and read your nonsensical babbling you call legitimate arguments. Either that, or give us a legitimate argument.

      Delete
    3. The only way to combat idiocy is with more idiocy.

      So without further ado...

      "If you shave downstairs it looks a lot bigger. You know if you remove the brush the tree looks massive!"

      By the way is it possible to blacklist specific people from the comments? Reading the comments isn't very fun when trash like this is shoving a lighter in our faces.

      Delete
    4. You say "cop-out" so often I'm a little curious as to what you think that means.

      Delete
    5. Any argument that legitimately challenges his own?

      Delete
    6. The thing is, there is no real "right way" to show. People choose to praise or tear apart things however they think is the correct way, and if that doesn't work, they try to fix it (unless you're Chris Bores), or just give up. Also, MK2007 and Cody S., now you two are just using the "I'd like to see you do it" argument in a way. I say this, but I am in no way defending Ozzy.

      Delete
  18. Yeah, it's about time I deleted Ozzyman's comments. He's added nothing but trolling and anger to the comments and I'm done tolerating it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just be ready when he comes back with a new account.

      Delete
    2. Really, you're too lenient. Just because some ass-hats say you'll be just like Bores for "censoring" your blog.

      Bores removes ALL comments that criticize him, ALL comments that mention AVGN, and blogs ALL users that leave even the most vaguely negative comments about him or his show.

      You've allowed every attention whoring troll to use your blog as their own personal soapbox.

      Gotta find a place in the gray area on this one.

      Delete
    3. @Shaolin Dave
      Good point. I really should crackdown on ass-hats more often.

      Delete
    4. @starofjustice

      And said new account is going to be called "Ozzyman4488".

      Delete
    5. @BatDanNight
      Definitely. If someone stumbles upon your blog and has an opinion differing from your own, that person is well within their rights to express their views, and provide some intelligent discussion of the issue. But after all there is to be said is said, if that person just continues to float around for the express purpose of insulting both the blogger and his fanbase, it's more than fair for the blogger to ban their ass.

      Delete
    6. @lordaharl
      my words exactly bro :)

      Delete
  19. Ozzy, are you still mad over the AVGN funding for his movie? I feel like that's what started this whole shenanigan in the first place. :L

    ReplyDelete
  20. Let me get this straight. Bores claims that the game being popular as well as the figures makes the game bad because he can't get the figures he wants?

    I'm sorry that is true of any highly popular toy line. Transformers, GIJoe, you name it. Then he goes on to complain that someone is selling these on Ebay at inflated prices? That is what happens with a popular collectables.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As BatDan said, Activision took a risk.

      Ideally a company wants to match supply with demand so they can serve as many customers without wastefully overproducing. The lower the cost to manufacture (like with disc-based games and movies), the lest risk there is with overproducing and exceeding the demand. Some people have been spoiled by how abundantly and promptly available these items are, that they forget that actual cost, risk, and effort goes into other things.

      Delete
    2. This is true. As far as taking a risk, if they sell every run of the figures they produce I'd say the risk paid off.

      Sometimes consumers have to be patient.

      Delete
    3. Well, maybe after a couple more months of tripping over his "Irate Gamer" DVDs he'll figure something out about supply and demand.

      Delete
  21. Just thinking about what Justin De Lucia said made me think about this: Why is it that people go into a rage about James asking for donations for his movie but months later when Tim Schafer does the exact same thing for a video game it is met with praise and excitement?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People don't associate James with Tim Schafer, so they don't compare their actions (wether it be almost identical actions, or actions with the vaguest of correlations.)

      Delete
    2. It's not that the two are associated, it's that they both used fundraiser sites to help a big project their doing. He's saying people don't flip out over Tim Schafer doing but they did over James Rolfe.

      Delete
    3. yeah that's what I was saying, people should associate James's actions with Tim Schafer's, because they're doing the same thing and neither deserve negative criticism.

      instead they associate James's actions with Bores's, even though they're doing very different things, and Bores deserves the negative criticism while James doesn't.

      Delete
  22. Yeah I was thinking what BatDan was saying.

    ReplyDelete
  23. When are you going to do a Redux Recap of the ET video? And also, I think you should block that Ozzy idiot; tired of looking at his whining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He already blocked Ozzy, as you can read a few comments above us ;)

      Delete
  24. A Porthole is the window on a ship lol.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Seems like he always had trouble saying portal correctly. He also says "port-hole" during his Back to the Past video.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Welp, Boring Man blocked me just for asking if he was saying portal or porthole.
    Are you Serious Bro?

    I Hope one day Bores goes To PAX East just so I can fist pump his face!

    Speaking of PAX, anyone here know if Screwattack has a panel @ PAX East? I've been having trouble getting on their site to find out. They had one last year didn't they?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I plan on doing something a little different. If I ever see him at a convention or anything like that, I am going to confront him and challenge him to a video game trivia game, just to see how little he really knows. For best effect, I think I would have to dress up as Professor Layton, just to make things a bit cooler. Then I would punch him in the face after he had, presumably and inevitably, gotten most of the questions wrong. Not very gentlemanly, but being a gentleman is out of the question when it comes to that repugnant hunk of slime who walks like a man and calls him self a gamer.

      Delete
  27. I think you watch big daddy d review of the game, heck he even has his kid helping out, not only that he also review the expansions and extra figures

    ReplyDelete
  28. Off topic but...

    Happy birthday BatDanNight.

    Also, I'm glad we won't be seeing Ozzymoron here anymore. :D

    ReplyDelete
  29. Has anyone checked out Irategamer's social blade recently. It's been almost a week since he uploaded that new HOVG video, and he's lost nearly six hundred subscribers since then. He's essentially lost more than a months worth of subscriptions. It would seem that even IG's fans were pissed off at that video.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And even then, there's still a ton of fans that praised this video too.

      Delete
  30. Speaking of HOV5, I was checking the comments, and aside from that one idiot who gave out his home address... LadyBuggin777 posted a comment saying that Bores' computer crashed, and he won't be able to post the next couple of videos he planed... and it might possibly mean... (sigh)... he won't update for a while.

    By the way, didn't Bores use that whole "my computer crashed" excuse a couple years ago?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *sighs* Again? Chris needs to stop watching porn and back-up his important files.

      Yeah... last time it "crashed" he broke up with Jennifer. Too convenient to be a coincidence if you ask me.

      Great... might as well think about Redux Recaps for now.

      Delete
  31. So while we're waiting for something to happen on the Bores front, there's something I've been thinking about: Story arcs. It seems like we all agree that the Irate Gamer Show's attempt at having a story arc has only managed to make the series even lamer. But there are many shows out there that have managed to rise from mediocrity to excellence by introducing an ongoing plotline, while others have declined in quality by trying too hard to tie previous events together. One might think this could be largely tied to the genre of a work, but I've seen several series that I believe defy this notion. So what do you guys think makes/breaks a story arc?

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    1. Well first of all, you've gotta be a good actor (which Boring Man clearly isn't), and you can't release episodes months apart from eachother.

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    2. Yeah, that's obviously a big one, as well as the general competency of the writer. I think another big one, however, is how well one handles the tone shift that comes with a story arc. I think Bores problem (along with the above stated) is that he seems to want us to take his "story" seriously, yet runs with story lines that are so cliched that the only way one could possibly carry them off is by doing them totally tongue-in-cheek.

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    3. I think there are three "Golden Rules" of story arcs.

      1: Consistency
      This is obvious. You need to keep the story consistent, otherwise you can't have a story arc. Bores keeps changing the story, so there's not a real story arc, and no reason to take his story seriously, since he'll probably just change it again down the road. This CAN be done right though, if you transition the story to the new arc, perhaps saying the old one was a red herring, of sorts, but Bores does no such thing. He just jumps around stories, making it up as he goes along.

      2: Originality
      There's nothing wrong with using a contemporary story arc, like "Guy rescues Princess from Dragon," but you need to add your own flair, otherwise you're just telling someone else's story. Bores' stories are too unoriginal and clichéd, he doesn't add anything to them, so you'd be better off watching a different story with the same general arc.

      3: Efficiency
      If you want to release videos few and far between, that's fine, but you need to be honest about it. Bores gives no good explanation as to why his videos are released so scarcely, so we're mad about it, calling him lazy, when it's possible(although unlikely) that he has real reasons, he just never gives them. The real problem is that his videos are trying to have a story arc, so when you don't see anything pertaining to the story for months, especially if no reason for the wait has been given, it can be hard to really get behind the story. There are exceptions to this rule, such as movies ending on cliffhangers, television shows ending their seasons on cliffhangers, but even then they don't stop in the middle of their story(or at least the good ones don't, but I digress), they give some form of closure.

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    4. When it comes to reviews, I have to say that no story arc has it's place.
      Hell, most skits should be cut from the reviews. Very seldom there's one that works, but typically they just take away from the review itself.

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    5. From what I've seen most skits and story arcs started out as framing devices for the various shows but they've been expanded due to popular opinion or the reviewers just wanting to branch out and put their own stamp on things.

      Linkara's reviews have a lot of story arcs in them but he does a good job of keeping them and the review separate, so if people did have a problem with it they just need to stop the vid after he throws the comic down.

      Newer guys like the BlockBuster Buster start doing skits and things right off the bat because thats what they've been watching and assume thats what they should do to get people to watch.

      Another use is the way Red Letter Media used Plinkett to make a 70 minute critical dissection of Phantom Menace more palatable.

      Going back to AVGN he created the character as a way to be overly critical of older generation games that you can't really hold to todays standards, something people like Bores and the much much worse NC-17 fail to grasp, and as that joke wore on he expaanded the character a bit by putting him into silly scenarios.

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    6. The most important thing about story arcs is their placement: If they constantly interrupt the review, you're going to annoy a few people. If the story is only at the beginning and end (well, ideally at the end would), it can be enjoyed by story arc fans and haters alike.

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    7. @Clark
      Unfortunately, Bores own attempts at character development have only served to make him MORE unlikeable by establishing himself to be a murderer, terrorist, and petty thief.

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    8. I think the reason Linkara's Story arcs work is he puts the review itself fist. By doing this it forces him you have to include more meat into the time he does put into the arc itself.

      The second thing he does right is he plans out the entire arc before he starts doing it so he can make sure everything fist together with one another. This is most likely the best reason why they end up working. You see he spends the time have a theme for the arc that is something he cares about. This makes it work better as you can tell he's into it and not just doing it to do it.

      Thirdly, you can't just string together pop culture references and try to pass it off as a story arc. This is most likely where Bores makes his biggest failing and I think why his story lines just don't work. He has resorted to the Selterberg school of story telling.

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  32. that review was very boring!

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  33. So he reviews Skylanders: "Spyro"

    Without mention that some fans of "Spyro" were not that happy what they have done to him.

    Neither that someone involved in the game made statement "If the game sells good then they will make a new spyro game".

    So he just reviewed game in 3 minutes that's very sad.

    "The poor mens version of a video game trailer with dude talking about it instead."

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