Whoa, a second movie review this year? Someone check Hell’s thermostat.
What’s he going to talk about? The Hunger Games. Wow, and I thought his Neo reviews were really late. Okay, to be fair it did just come out on DVD/Blu-Ray but anything he says about the movie really won’t matter now, months after it’s been in theaters.
He titled the video “Hunger Games - Down and Dirty Movie Rant and Review”. Down and dirty? What kind of title is that? Are you going to wrestle Woody Harrelson or something?
The description isn’t much better, as he says the “fisticuffs fly”. You’re spending 2 minutes 45 seconds talking about a movie, there’s no need to get that over-dramatic about it.
Oh look, he’s learned fake thumbnails too! We have an image of a supposedly topless Jennifer Lawrence with the words “Down and Dirty” censoring her chest. I’d say that I would forever hate YouTube if this video gets a ton of views because of that thumbnail, but my opinion of the site really can’t go any lower.
Onto the video.
Bores says that the story was entertaining but felt parts were “underexplained”. Or they purposely didn’t explain certain things to add material for the sequels. Just saying.
“My rant about this film isn’t about the story itself as most of my movie rants go” What movie rants?! You never rant about movies! All your previous videos on movies are “reviews”, you label them as reviews. Yes, they’re poorly made but they’re certainly not rants.
Instead, his rant is calling out the cinematographer. He complains that the movie has some of the weirdest “super-quick panning shots” and “shaky cam”. This rant would have been so much better had you made it in March. Back when everyone was already complaining about this.
He compares the footage to a YouTube video and asks if they heard of a Tripod. Where the hell do you get off calling them out for this? Where’s your big budget movie?
“What cinematographer do you know who doesn’t use a fucking tripod?!” Ever hear of a found footage movie Bores? Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity?
“I bet you’re just one of those hippie assholes who loves to make a statement” Where did you get that idea? The whole point of the shaky cam is to showcase how chaotic The Hunger Games really are. It’s a bunch of kids killing each other. Also, where were your complaints on this during your review of the second Transformers movie? The camera work there is soooo much worse.
He then proceeds to call out the editor, claiming that if he finds him, he’ll smash his DVD over his head. Keep it classy!
Chris, you’re the last person to call out someone for bad editing. Do you really think your constant green screen with people sliding into frame like they're on ice, or bouncing into frame like they're South Park characters is any better?
He complains that shots go by too fast. Then tries to explain how they need to let the audience absorb each shot and take it in. Since when the hell did think you’re such a master filmmaker? You’ve done nothing to show any competence in the art of film.
Also, a lot of movies out there have fast cutting. Saving Private Ryan and The Shining are two great examples. Actually, Saving Private Ryan makes perfect sense. Both movies are in ultra-violent settings where the characters are relying on their instincts to fight through everything.
He also shows an example of a scene with multiple cuts. Actually, I think I get what they’re trying to convey here. They’re showing Katniss and Peeta entering on their chariot and the cuts to the audience are to show what Katniss is likely feeling. A lot of people watching her and her mind is racing and all over the place. That’s at least what I see from it.
Bores also keeps going on about getting motion sick or having a “mild case of epilepsy”. You know, if all these movies or games make you sick or give you seizures, maybe you should stop and find something else to review that won’t cause that. How about the Pokemon episode Electric Soldier Porygon?
“Are you fresh out of film school” Considering you never went, you need to shut the fuck up and quit acting like you’re an expert.
He says this was the first time he would rather read the book and mentions that before he hasn’t. You act like we’re surprised by this.
That’s basically the video. Bores acting all high and mighty like he’s a big time director or something. Again, you shouldn’t talk Bores. Your editing is abysmal, and when you go on about staying on shots for too short, all I can think of is the times where you stay on a shot too long. That is, all the times you stare at the camera telling people that this is the funny part.
Deliverance115, who has read the books and seen the movie, sees all the fast editing like this. The characters are bunch of kids, being thrust into a new world at an ultra-quick pace, their minds are racing and they have no clue what’s going on. It actually makes sense for everything to spin or shake when seen that way.
Considering how little Bores spent talking about the story, it seems like he missed it and only saw the technical side of it.
And if you think I’m being a bit hard on Bores thinking he’s so high and mighty? For the past year or so, fans have asked him if he’s making a movie. His response was always the same “Season 4 is my movie” or “My show is movie-like”. That’s what he claims, Season 4 or Season 1 HD or whatever the fuck he wants to call it is his “big movie”. He’s even stated that if you string all of the episodes together, you have his movie.
Let’s analyze that last part shall we?
So far, there have been 5 Season 4 episodes (over two years). Time-wise, they add up to 48 minutes and 48 seconds. That’s including his theme music, his credit title cards, and the “Check out my other videos” card at the end. I imagine removing those would only shave off a few seconds.
The opening introduces our villains. Alright that’s fair. We meet IG’s new neighbor Goro, who isn’t seen after the first 15 minutes. The box of 7-Up games is set up like a plot point, only to end up being a sight gag. The robot invasion, which would be the final act of a real movie, is taken care of within the first 30 minutes. The plot whiplashes into the whole “chosen one” thing after that. A brand new villain is introduced 46 minutes into the movie, with no resolution about the other villains. Characters are introduced out of nowhere, given zero development outside of their single dimension. The hero is an unlikable buffoon and a complete Mary Sue.
The point is, Chris shouldn’t act like he’s this great filmmaker when he’s less credible than The Asylum. He can claim he went to film school all he wants, but the facts say otherwise (how Ashland University doesn’t have a film & broadcasting major, the Dark Chapters).
I get the feeling this video was just another bandwagon jump.
Wait, I just realized. He didn’t actually review this movie! All he did was rant about the technical problems he had, and dedicated like four seconds to the story. Don’t call it a review then!