Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Long-Awaited Reveal of the Irate Gamer Game! ... What the Hell Is This?

The so called "Irate Gamer Game" has been the butt of many jokes on this blog for years now. I still remember the Facebook page from 2011. Either way, everyone laughed as it became clear this game was never coming.
Then recently, Bores started claiming that the Irate Gamer Game is actually coming soon, and even listed on his new site that it's coming in August. I rolled my eyes at the idea and said the game is still a phantom until I see evidence.

Welp... we have evidence. Over at his site. He also included two pictures which I will post here.


... Oh dear lord this looks horrid.
It looks like every single terrible iOS game out there. I swear I've seen that sun background in other iOS games.
As you can see, it's a platformer, which is the kiss of death for a system that relies on touch controls. Even then, I imagine this is going to be a buggy mess.
This looks worse than Flash games on Newgrounds. Look at the ice in the first image, the smaller platforms not only not match up with the giant cliff, but it looks like they just slapped them on top of it. This is so lazy.
The D-Pad in the corner has a white line going through it for some reason.
I see coins, but I don't see what they can be used for. No coin counter, no points, do they restore health? Because that would be way too easy... and perfect for Bores. Son of a bitch.

This... can't be real. This has to be a joke.
What does Bores say about this in the article?
He says that since it's going to the Apple store, the best way to describe the layout is like... Angry Birds? *looks at Angry Birds, then looks at IG Game* Have you ever even played Angry Birds? The two look nothing alike. Just because both are on iOS doesn't mean they're similar. Also, Angry Birds is available on other consoles.
He says there will be over 60 levels. Going by the pictures, I imagine it will get boring after 10.
He doesn't know an exact release date and that if it does well, more games will be planned. Do you not have contact with these people? Surely they could tell when it's ready. Also, this game is going to bomb, even at its possible $1 dollar price point (and that's still a rip-off). Sure some fans of his will buy it, maybe some detractors out of morbid curiosity, but it's going to get lost in the deluge of iOS garbage.

Three years people. This game was at least three years in the making. What were they doing? Did they just take Chris' money, spend it on hookers and blow, and when Chris started getting curious they slapped this crap together in a weekend?
You know, iOS does allow free trials of all their games. But I fear that even the trial would brick my phone.
I just...wow. I need to go remind myself of good games. I got Pikmin 3 and Tales of Xillia waiting.

83 comments:

  1. Wow... I've made a crappy platforming game in my high school game design class that looks better than this. I mean, it doesn't even LOOK like a real game, it's more like someone who was peripherally aware of what games were but had never seen or played one was asked to make a fake screenshot of what a game might look like. Just... wow. My sympathies go out to anyone who buys this, on purpose or by accident.

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  2. I can already guess what the plot's going to be:

    "The Shadow Lord's Army is everywhere! KILL THEM ALL IN COLD BLOOD-- I mean, CIRCUITRY!!!"

    It wouldn't be that big of a deal if the gameplay was addicting, but judging by the images, it'll probably just be a watered down Contra (...wait, doesn't Bores hate Contra?).

    We might not have anything to fear, though. It's likely Bores just brought this game back to compete with AVGN Adventures. By the time the latter is released, this Irate Gamer Game will be forgotten once more, just like what happened with "Pursuit of the Paranormal" when James stopped hyping HIS movie.

    tl;dr Let's just bide our time and wait for this "game" to be released.

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  3. This game is going to have 60 levels? You must be kidding me. Most platforming game from iOS are pretty short. Isn't it?

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    Replies
    1. Unless the game designers spend lots of effort in making it. Which obviously they didn't.

      Delete
  4. Lol at the screencaps, the timer is not even a minute in! At 11 seconds, the player is half-dead The other section is at 17 seconds and it appears that there is nothing else in the level except jumping.

    There are flash games that take only two freakin days to make, that have great gameplay. Three years is a hell of time to make a flash game. Were they working on Spirit of the Ronin 2 on the side or something?

    Speaking of which, anyone play invazia?

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    Replies
    1. It's a survival flash game on newgrounds with some kickass music and great gameplay.

      Delete
  5. You know, when I look at this I can only picture the people behind it laughing at Chris for wasting his money on a product that will never come... and then being annoyed by Chris calling everyday saying "Is it done yet?", so they slapped this together in a week to shut him up.

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  6. I couldn't help but bring this up.
    http://superjustintheblog.blogspot.com/2010/07/sjb-review-almighty-mr-ice.html

    This game looks much better than Bores' by a long shot.

    This move form Bores is just to compete with AVGN Adventures, without a doubt. And they HAD to give bores a NES Zapper as his main weapon... just like the Nerd.

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    1. "they HAD to give bores a NES Zapper as his main weapon"
      Chris Bores has been banking on his show being similar to AVGN since the start. He's had years to end the feud now and in fact, he's only one continuing as AVGN and his fanbase are rather silent about the issue especially since AVGN himself has told them to ignore him. Keep being the Knockoff Chris, your work is roughly on the same scale too.

      Delete
    2. James is classy not to rise to IG or, as far as I know, anyone else's bait... he just likes making videos and films, and a feud (other than a fictional one like with Nostalgia Critic) would be less fun than doing his work.

      I dare say the only real feud here is between Chris' long-term best interests and his short-term worst impulses.

      Delete
    3. It's weird that this game is revealed on the same year AVGN adventures is reveal. And the IG game is definitely going to bomb. AVGN Adventures will sell well because it made appearances in E3 and SDCC and it will be selling ON STEAM.

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    4. In other words: The Irate Gamer is a mockbuster of the AVGN.
      The Asylum would be so proud.

      Delete
    5. AVGN Adventures will sell well not just because of the nerd's popularity, but it clearly depicts a LOT of effort being put into making it look decent and play well. The Irate Gamer game seems like it was made by some college student who is JUST learning game design and cannot do much with it yet. I imagine it controls just as badly as it looks. There are plenty of fine examples of iOS platformers done right such as "Lep's World 2". Chris really has no excuse for producing that abomination and the prospect of it competing with the nerd's game is a complete joke.

      Delete
  7. Hmm odd, why do I get the feeling that they are just taking something wholesale from a previous IoS game.

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  8. Speaking of the Tales series, Batdan, what do you think of them and Namco Bandai as a whole? I'd also like to hear everyone else's opinions on them.

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    Replies
    1. Don't play the the Tales series. Abstain. I'm more of an RTS gamer.

      Delete
    2. BTW, I'm actually new to the Tales series, I got into it because of Tales of the Abyss and I wanted to know everyone's opinions on them before I can buy Tales of Graces f for my PS3. It would also be nice if you could tell me what you guys think of Tales of the Abyss.

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    3. Tales games range from decent to pretty damn good. I just wish Namco would localize the unreleased titles and non-gimped versions of released titles (specifically Phantasia and Vesperia).

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    4. Oh yeah, Tales of Phantasia. I listen to remixes from that game

      http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR00715/
      http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01827/
      http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01812/

      Delete
    5. Hey, anyone familiar with the enhancement project on the SNES version of Tales of Phantasia?

      http://www.romhacking.net/forum/index.php?topic=13201.0

      It's on hiatus now due to the guy not wanting to get bored with it, but it's looking pretty good. He intends to not only reinstate unused content, but also improve the game in other ways, like balancing and AI issues.

      Delete
    6. Y'know, now that I think about it, is Namco Bandai xenophobic or something when it comes to the Tales series? I keep imagining they set up a wheel just to see whether or not they're going to localize a Tales game or not.

      It's just frustrating considering they released Tales of Phantasia in English on the GBA which is the least technically impressive version of the game instead of the PS1 version while the console was still in stores and I only saw clips of the gameplay but the voice acting is just god awful. It's the GBA, but come on, they managed to put a song, with VOCALS, on the SNES and PS1 versions and you port it the the GBA?! Really, Namco, really?

      Hell, they released Tales of Vesperia, on the Xbox 360, a console I don't have and a console not very well known for JRPGs. Many people bought Xbox 360s just to buy the game and then they released the PS3 version with new content and what does Namco Bandai do? Localize the Xbox 360 version while leaving the PS3 version in Japan. Yeah, I mean it's not like fans all over the world would actually want the updated version in English or anything considering most of them don't speak Japanese, right?

      Well, at least they've released the updated version of Tales of Graces, Tales of Graces f for the PS3 in the West while leaving the original version for the Wii in Japan and they are gonna release Tales of Xillia in the West, so I've gotta give them credit for that.

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    7. Seems now Namco is finally filling the gap as Tales of Xillia 2 is coming next year. As well as Tales of Symphonia HD (with the extras in the Japan-only PS2 version). Hopefully by then, we'll get quicker localizations on future games.

      Voice acting was just one of the GBA port's problems. Graphics were washed out to compensate for the handheld's bad lighting, but it came out after the release of the SP, making it look worse.
      There's also the terrible localization, the most infamous portion being every instance of "Ragnarok" translated as "Kangaroo".
      That's why people recommend the fan translation of the PS1 version (the SFC fan translation suffers from excessive cursing).

      Delete
    8. The first and only Tales game I've really played so far is Tales of the Abyss on the 3DS. I have to say, it's got me hooked. I'm really hoping they release some more Tales of games for the 3DS, and that they're released in English.

      I'd get Xillia... but I don't have any of the newer systems... I just hope Xillia sells well enough that they'd consider releasing future games. Then again, with Xillia 2 already planned for a US release, that's a good sign.

      Delete
    9. I admit, the only game I've played is Tales of Vesperia on Xbox 360. And that game is one of my most favorite RPGs of all time.

      The reasons I also know the storylines of The Abyss, Symphonia and Graces is that I watched the anime adaptations and the walkthrough on Youtube.

      Delete
    10. @BatDanNight
      Would the port really be better if it actually was on the SP?

      Delete
  9. OH GOD DO NOT CLICK ON THE FIRST IMAGE! CHRIS IS DOING HIS EXORCIST IMPRESSION

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  10. Wow. This looks so bootleg I'm shocked if Phelous desn't review this on Bootleg Zones!!!

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  12. "the best way to describe the layout is like... Angry Birds?"

    Come on Chris, I have barely played Angry Birds and even I know that your "game" looks nothing similar to it.

    "He doesn't know an exact release date and that if it does well, more games will be planned."

    It's official: Chris has no idea what he is doing with his so-called "game". With his ignorance, I doubt this "game" will sell well at all and probably be lost among the huge library of iOS games.

    Listen up, Chris. If you want to make a game, you need to give it time. The more time spent towards polishing and testing a game, the better it will turn out. Why do you think Nintendo took 5 years to make The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword? Why did Hal Labs take 11 years and 3 scrapped ideas to release Kirby's Return to Dream Land? Because they wanted the finished version to be good and entertaining. If you rush out a game like you did here (whether it's because you want to beat the upcoming AVGN game or not), the end result will be a buggy, glitched-up mess of a videogame (similar to Sonic 06).

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    1. C'mon now, that's insulting Sonic '06. As buggy and rushed as that was, at least they put effort into it. Nothing like this soon-to-be-wreck.

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    2. Effort in the gameplay, graphics or music? I can definitely vouch for the music, because regardless of how crappy the game was, nobody can deny the music was awesome.

      Delete
    3. Remember when he described the layout of Sonic Unleashed werehog stages as akin to a "fighting game"? Yeah.
      So, 20 years...?

      Delete
  13. Have there been any good iOS platformers? I mean platformers really have no place on a touch screen based console but have there been any actually good ones really?

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    Replies
    1. Have a look for a game called "Banana Kong", it's free, but a really fun platform game!

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    2. Thanks for the recommendation, Guru Larry.

      Delete
  14. If this game isn't free than it will bomb I'm afraid, that accounts for ANY game, no matter who is in charge. Even the biggest selling iOS game of all time, Angry Birds is free! ALL of them.

    I mean 85% of the app store's games are free, so he either needs to have it free for a while or have transactions to buy in game stuff.

    And it looks like the game will need some really precision platforming, so the best of luck on a capacitive screen!

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  15. Random thought came to mind. I would absolutely die if Mdickie had been commissioned to make an Irate Gamer game. It would be so, so very fitting.

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  16. http://lordstarscream89.deviantart.com/journal/Roberto-Orci-talks-about-the-new-TF-show-391648259
    Those comments aren't real... those comments aren't real...

    Well, I did riffed that on my blog. Why don't you just find it by yourself?

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  17. Looks like something you might download if it was free, but even for a dollar it looks like a rip-off. There are tons of free games on Newgrounds, SuperJerkFace etc that not only have better graphics than this but have much more varied gameplay and probably better controls. No doubt though that at some point Chris will try and claim AVGN's game was an attempt to keep up with the Irate Gamer game, even though and AVGN game has been rumoured for years and James himself isn't really involved in it.

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  18. Aw, come on, the stuff I make in Game Maker looks better than this garbage.

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    Replies
    1. The stuff I made in visual basics is better than this!

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    2. The scribbles in Mario Paint I use to make look better than this.

      Delete
  19. 2-3 years to make a damn iOS game? As BigAl said, "God, even Valve isn't this bad!"

    It's about as bad as Richard Kuta taking 5-6 years to make a half-assed Sonic fan film...

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    Replies
    1. And this iOS game doesn't seems to looks like it's good either. I wonder how many Irate Gamer fanboys will play it?

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  20. Why isn't Chris Bores' sprite fat?

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    1. In my opinion, the game should properly represent Chris Bores. The Character should take up the entire screen and his hitbox should be same as his ego, as in the entire game. That way the player will feel the same way as Chris does; constantly taking damage because your ego is larger than life and unable to stop taking damage because you can't look past yourself.

      Delete
    2. I feel like Bores should be able to kill allies and be invulnerable to everything, going "Inferno" at any time he chooses with no restrictions, and OHKO bosses.

      Delete
    3. Chris could be a katamari that the player rolls all over the internet. When he encounters a joke or reference from AVGN or Family Guy, he says "Hey, that's mine" and it adheres to him forever.

      Delete
  21. Everyone go pre-order The Wonderful 101. Now.

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    Replies
    1. Consider it done, Dan. A game that's by the man behind Devil May Cry and Viewtiful Joe. That alone is worth the $50 to me.

      Delete
  22. Just to let everyone know, next month will be the fifth anniversary of Bores' Home Improvement SNES review.

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    Replies
    1. That would be a good time for people to watch JonTron's review of Home Improvement, in case you wanted to see that game reviewed RIGHT.

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    2. We all know that Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit is often thrown under the bus with Bebe's Kids, Lester the Unlikely, Shaq Fu, The Wizard of Oz, Wayne's World, and Capt. Novolin as being called one of the worst SNES games ever, especially by a lot of YouTubers out there, too many for me to name.

      However, this game is pretty decent underneath all the flack that it gets. I mean, sure, Power Tool Pursuit was a failure for its time, but it's 19 years later! Don't you all think it's time to give this little 16-bit gem another chance?

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    3. It's an okay game. I mean it could be worse, you could be playing Appleseed the snes game or battle commander. The game has its moments but for all intents and purposes its a scavenger hunt. It's real problem is that the level designs aren't intuitive. Players should not be required to constantly wait for directions to get the damn items. If you liked the GI Joe Nes bomb planting stages, you'll find a lot of similarity in home improvement.

      Delete
    4. That's why I would like to see BatDan do a Redux Recap on Boring Man's Home Improvement review, but we need to give BatDan some serious motivation in order to do so.

      Delete
  23. If Chris or whoever it is that is developing this game actually cared, those HAL Bots would have purple eyes. Isn't RED supposed to be one of a kind?

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    Replies
    1. For reference to whoever is making this...

      Red:Leader, named R.E.D., exists as sole entity
      Violet:Minions, clones of R.E.D, exists in many numbers
      Blue:Giant, another clone of R.E.D, but put into a larger body.

      Delete
  24. Wow! I mean, wow! I wasn't expecting wonders from this game, but Bores has truly surprised me with how spectacularly terrible this game is.

    I doubt everyone here is far from reality when they say the devs stole Chris' money, only to shit this out at the last minute once he wouldn't stop bothering them.

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  25. Might be off-topic but the story of Sword of Mana is really depressing.

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  26. Well, to be honest, it doesn't look too horrid to me. I mean, it'll probably be terrible, but in the game's defense, two ambiguous screenshots from an unknown point in development don't exactly paint a full picture, now do they? Who knows? Maybe the game is still in its alpha stages? Maybe pre-alpha! All I'm saying is, from what is shown, there is no way to tell if it'll be a good game or not. It probably won't be that good, if not horrid, but it's a little unfair to judge it so harshly based on a couple of pictures guys.

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    Replies
    1. If this game actually manages to be fun when it comes out, I'll be legitimately impressed. These screenshots don't give a good first impression (or a second, or third...) and they seem to set the stage for what kind of game we're getting, which is why our expectations are so low.

      Delete
    2. I applaud Cody's remarks. I am, now and forever, no defender of Chris, but I find this blog less fun when we automatically assume everything he touches will be the worst thing ever, even before we see it.

      Personally, I'd prefer a more nuanced approach, like when we make predictions on precisely how his work will suck when we actually see it, and give tiny scraps of begrudging respect when he actually gets one thing right. For example, it's probably draining for him to update that new webpage when he gets so little feedback in the comments; he has, in that regard, actually applied himself to something, however pointless.

      He should be a guy we love to hate, rather than someone who literally raises our blood pressure.

      Delete
    3. The guy has had three years to polish the game and that's the result it paints a bad picture. The thing is why is the developer keeping quiet on what stage of development that they are at seems suspicious to me. But they would only be excused if they were actually further along in development this looks early-alpha.

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    4. Like Micharion said, three years to get two pictures is about the same prdouction rate as Daikatana or Duke Nukem Forever. Games shouldn't take this long to make, especially simple ones like side scrolling platformers. The programers either don't know how to code a game or are too lazy to code a game.

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    5. The thing is, IG seems to specialize in producing crap. Therefore, we expect crap. Those two screenshots live up to our expectations.

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  27. It's hard to tell a lot from these two pictures, but here we go anyway.

    The pics don't show much complexity in level design. It's hard to imagine any gameplay mechanics other than run/jump/shoot and collect coins. The second picture is apparently from level 10, and with only one type of enemy being shown it's not very promising.

    The screenshots look like they might actually be thrown together in a graphics app rather than taken from the game. Aside from the line that BatDan pointed out, I noticed both these screenshots are the outdated 4:3 aspect ration. If these are iOS, shouldn't they be widescreen? There's never been a 4:3 iOS device, not even the first iPhone.

    Notice the enemies on the top ledge. There's one on the far left, and two overlapping each other to the right, all facing to the right. The overlapping characters look like the accidentally pasted the same character twice. Personally if I made the game I'd prevent the overlapping characters somehow, but that's a personal design choice. The real weird thing is when you compare them to the three characters two ledges down. Same exact poses, same exact x-position, same exact position in relation to each other down to the last pixel. Yeah, that could have just been a coincidence in-game that just happened to occur when the screenshot was taken, but it's more likely the three characters were copy-pasted at the same time.

    Also, doesn't the character on the second ledge close to IG look like he's lower in the ground than the other characters? Look at the position of his feet.

    Aside from that things seem to match up in expected ways. Characters are consistent distances from the ledges above them, for example, suggesting a regular tile system.

    The controls are laid out like an NES controller, which really shows form over function. having them be at an angle would make more ergonomic sense, that's why all SNES and beyond when that way. Why there are just two red buttons? They have the ability to make the buttons look like whatever they want? Why not have the "shoot" button show the projectile being shot? You can have the graphic change when powerups are acquired (if there will be any).

    I will say that in general classic console-style controls generally do now work well on touchscreen devices, but they're not as bad as most people make them out to be. I had "Earthworm Jim" on iOS and didn't have many problems until the last boss (when an unrelated glitch made the game unwinnable.) Maybe the designers incorporate support for gamepad devices like the iCade.

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  28. Well what did you expect, a triple a game with 3d models and textures. AVGN didn't do much better with his game.

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    1. AVGN didn't hire anyone to make a game if I recall correctly. A dev did because he wanted to.

      Delete
    2. @Pearse Hillock

      We expect a lazily thrown together pathetic attempt that only a delusional idiot would rely on being successful, or even enjoyable.

      Delete
    3. We expect a dire abomination that makes Rockman XOver look like Limbo.

      Delete
  29. My god, you better looking games in a high school animation class. It's obviously just Bores attempt to compete with AVGN Adventures.

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    Replies
    1. The Asylum would be so proud.

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  30. I think the dire Mega Man X iOS port is a much better game than this.

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  31. Something off-topic, but, what do you think of "The Ultimate Doom"?

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  32. I doubt the game actually exists. It's likely just a couple of mock-up shots from whoever Bores paid.

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  34. I know this article is old, but I just want to point out, Chris lied when he said there'd be over 60 levels, there's only 52, someone did this joke video which also shows how shitty the ending of the game is too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Epl4Y475AI

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