*stretches* Huh? Another video already? And it’s another Neo episode? Wow, that was fast.
He’ll be talking about Rayman Legends, which came out 7 days ago here in North America. Meaning this review is going to be rushed and crappy. *looks at time* It’s only two minutes long so I am correct in my assumption.
0:06 - 0:38: IG opens the video telling us he’ll be looking at “Raymin Legends”. Yeah he has a weird pronunciation of Rayman. At least he’s looking at the Wii U version, meaning he has a Wii U now. GotGame must be so glad they’re wasting money on him.
He mentions he played it at E3. Take a shot!
He follows that saying that he had trouble figuring out what to do at first because he didn’t know to find the “trapped blue guys” (you mean the Teensies?) which unlock other parts of the game. Does the game not explain this or something?
0:39 - 1:16: “Now this might be geared towards kids” Oh screw you! Rayman has way more charm and class than any of those “gritty gritty bang bang” shooters that insecure “adults” like to champion as the pinnacle of maturity.
But he follows that up saying “older generations” will like the challenge or something. Then he dies and we get a forced anger shot of him.
“Plus, if you have the Nintendo Wii version” WII U! Not Wii! Wii U! Look, if you’re trying to be hardcore, get it fucking right. Still, I also blame Nintendo for giving it the stupidest fucking name ever. This is a pretty big reason sales are low, because the public is stupid and doesn’t realize that it’s an all new console. They still think it’s an accessory for the Wii, and again I blame Nintendo for doing a poor job marketing it.
But again, Bores is at fault for being as dumb as the unwashed masses.
He then mentions how a fifth player can use the GamePad’s touch screen to move things around. Then highlights the fact it’s a five player game with an effect showing four IG’s in different boxes in the corner messing with the GamePad. Ignoring that the Wii U can only handle one GamePad at a time, I’m wondering why one of the IG’s has an eye patch. It’s completely out of nowhere.
Just as out of nowhere as the Evil Gamer being the fifth player and acting really obnoxious. Twice in a row! What is with all the Evil Gamer appearances? It doesn’t make sense!
1:17 - 1:47: He says there’s “so much to do in the game” but doesn’t say what there is to do. As per usual.
He likes the graphics, the gameplay, and that there’s a ton of unlockable characters Then we get a bit where he goes all the way to the end and sees the last character requires a million Lums to unlock and… yeah it’s pointless.
He also says it’s “great for kids”. Oh my god nobody cares! Oh wait, I forgot your audience is all kids. Wait no, kids today can get away with playing M-Rated games because the unwashed masses don’t care about ESRB ratings. People still think video games are toys so parents buy their kids the most violent games possible without a care in the world. We’re raising a generation of screwed up kids.
The video ends with IG acknowledging that he’s reviewing “kid-oriented games” a lot, but he can’t help it because they’re so fun. That’s the point you dumbass! It doesn’t matter if a game is for kids or adults, all that matters if it’s fun! If you need to assert your “maturity” because you like to play Mario or Pokemon or Rayman, then you’re insecure!
Blah review was blah.
He didn’t really say anything about the game outside of “it’s fun, and for kids”. Since he never played Origins, I doubt he would find comparisons between the two. Either way, all he’s doing is mind-numbing nothingness.
Oh and of course he didn’t beat the game. Hell, according to Micharon (one of my readers), he didn’t get past the first boss of Diablo III. This would explain how he managed to get both reviews out in a short time.
I think back to what he said in his Injustice review, about how he “saviors” a game. I imagine that’s a load of crap. He plays enough of a game to get footage for a short review then never looks back at it again. Hell, his “gaming room” isn’t a room, it’s a set. A set that he only goes to when he gets off his lazy ass and decides “I should probably do that thing I do for YouTube.”
Seriously, what’s with all the Evil Gamer appearances? Is it a tie-in to his iOS game? Which he hasn’t said a damn thing about? Funny how he was hyping it, but then the game came out and now he won’t say anything outside of a response on Facebook about “bug fixes”. Pfffffffft.
EDIT: I just noticed he did the Diablo III and Rayman Legends reviews at the same time. He's wearing the same shirt in both videos. Is this a new thing now? Knocking out as many Neo reviews as possible, even if it means filming them all at the same time?