It's been a couple weeks since I did Attempts the News, thanks to Bores posting the most boring articles! Only he finds this stuff interesting, and he keeps treating it like it's a real news site. It's a blog, a Tumblr, stuff that only your friends would care about. You're wasting GotGame's money, and they don't have a lot already!
Reader DavCube actually counted the number of video game related articles in October, and there were only 15. Five of them being Skylanders related. Why even call it "The Irate Gamer", just call it "Chris Bores' blog of stuff I found pwetty coo'"
But, maybe that will change this week. Maybe Bores will actually post some articles with substance. What's the first article this week?
*reads* ...... The meat artist again.
Once again, there will be no Attempts the News this week.
Instead, I'm going to talk about his latest video, a vlog about Pursuit of the Paranormal he posted a few days ago.
Specifically, it's about the October 12th premiere. I don't know why he took a few weeks to post a video about it, but I get the feeling he wanted to make a video about it without bursting into tears. I held off on this because I hoped there would be something else to write about, but these are the cards that Chris has dealt me.
Anyway, the video is straight up lying. The premiere was a "great turnout" and the ghost hunt was "sold out". Does he show proof of this? Nope! The most we get is a single random person in the ghost hunt footage. When Chris is on stage talking about the "process", we never see the audience. At the end when there's applause, I've been told that it's a stock sound effect. How sad is that?
If the turnout was so great, where is everyone? Why are you the only person in the footage? Where's Alan Cicco? I get the feeling it really was only 20-30 people that showed up, just like the vendor said. I'm willing to trust that vendor more than I would trust Bores or his insane "mother", and she's a god damn psychic!
We know it was a bust, and Chris knows it was a bust. But will he admit it? Nope. He'll just continue doing what he's been doing for years, pure denial. Then continue to hide behind his mother mask and call people that criticize him "immature" and "Nazis". Classy isn't he?
EDIT: I forgot to mention (thanks to MacDragard for pointing this out), but he mentioned he wanted to set up a Pay-Per-View site for Pursuit of the Paranormal. Yeah, it's not enough he sells it on DVD, he also has to do PPV. He's really gunning to make some sort of profit, no matter what it takes. He should just post it for free on his YouTube channel, the ad revenue would help him. *turns on adblock*
Oh and he did another contest in the video, one to give away the Pursuit of the Paranormal DVD. Because nobody is going to fucking buy it! Unless it was to do a scathing review of it, and even then that's a stretch.
Seriously, how are the "Pick Me" contests perfectly acceptable, but Kickstarter is a tool of the devil?
Jeez, last actual review Bores did was Rayman Legends, and that was nearly two months ago. You're losing fans Chris if you don't put out actual content!
By the way, his video promoting the iOS game has way more dislikes than likes. Probably from people that looked at it and saw not a good game, but a shitty Newgrounds flash.
One last thing to note. A while ago I mentioned how Bores was promoting gambling sites on his blog. A source that wishes to remain anonymous informed me that Bores didn't do that of his own volition. He was paid to either write it, or paid to let someone else write it. It's linkbuilding, and it allows him to rank higher on Google searches. Not sure why he would need that, his site is the first thing that appears when you search "Irate Gamer". Unless he wants the searches for other things. Considering how random his blog can be.... hmmm.
Still, if he wanted to do something like that, why gambling? Like I said before, his audience is mostly younger kids, and telling them to gamble is horribly irresponsible. Then again, I also blame the parents of the kids for letting them watch IG, or PewDiePie (but that's an entirely different story).
EDIT: Some clarification. My anonymous source informed me that it doesn't help Chris' ranking on Google, rather it helps the gambling company that paid him. Say he posted the link to that site (I'll make up a site, VegasStakes.com or something) and the words "online poker". If one were to search "online poker", they would get VegasStakes as one of the first results.
*sighs* The lack of material is not fun.