Just two days after I post another “Chris is being lazy” update, he posts a new video!
It’s another new I Rate the 80s (wow, that was fast), this time on the “McDonalds Changeables”. *searches* Ooooh, these things. They’re Happy Meal Toys made to cash in on the popularity of Transformers. They’re robots disguised as McDonalds food. I remember having these.
Kind of weird that Chris is doing a Transformers knock-off rather than the real thing first. Oh right, “budget issues” as he so claims. I get the feeling he’d cover the Go-Bots before doing an episode on Transformers.
At least this video is shorter than the GM Monster Cereal one (5:11 compared to 7:49).
0:05 - 0:38: The video starts, we get are usual history opening. I’ll give Bores credit in that he’s using old McDonalds commercials and not stock foo- spoke too soon! Right as he mentions “kids”, we get some extremely modern stock footage of kids leaving a school. It’s extremely jarring among the VHS quality McDonalds commercials.
He brings up that McDonalds had Happy Meal toys for popular franchises like Muppet Babies, Garfield and… Destructoid Bananas. … Wha?
Apparently, IG is just as confused as I am as he “doesn’t remember them”. It’s a real banana with marker on it. Then it explodes in his hands and he coughs up Styrofoam that I assume is supposed to be banana.
What the hell was that? First of all, what was the joke? Exploding bananas… I don’t get it. Why is this here? What’s the point? Is this a reference to something? Why was the “banana” in his mouth after it exploded? Did he open his mouth really wide right as it blew up? Why isn’t the rest of him singed? At least in cartoons, characters have black marks all over them after a bomb blows up. Seriously, what’s the joke?!
0:39 - 1:17: IG mentions that in 1987, Transformers was hitting their “popularity peak”. Really? I would have thought that was 1986 since that’s when the movie came out.
He shows off the six Changeables that he has, lists them off until he gets to Fries and notices it’s gone. Then a McDonalds Fry Guy shows up, IG calls him a Goblin for some reason… hang on *does some research* Oh, they were originally called Goblins in the 70s and early 80s. They were changed to Fry Guys, but now they’re Fry Kids. Why call them their original name? Especially when Chris was like 4 or 5 when they changed their name. Is he trying to sound “cool” and “retro” or something?
Then he jokes about a “McDonalds Ashtray robot”. Is this another thing from the 80s you “fondly” remember? McDonalds having ashtrays for smokers? Because… that’s sad.
1:17 - 1:43: He brings up how the toys had a trial run in St. Louis (Citation Needed) before going nationwide and lists off a bunch of other Happy Meal toys that did the same, ending on “Banana Buddies”. Really Chris, we’re really doing this joke again? Again, what is the point? Unsurprisingly, the banana explodes in his hand again, and he coughs up Styrofoam. You really couldn’t make it yellow? I predict this joke will happen a third time.
1:43 - 2:45: The toys rolled out nationwide, he shows a bit of the commercial. He then says they released “eight toys” Wouldn’t that qualify as Series 2? That’s what I’m reading on Wikipedia here.
We then get a sketch with Kid Bores getting the Fries Changeable resulting in him getting attacked by a Fry Kid. This video is beyond stupid…
He claims it’s completely random (1 in 8 chance isn’t that bad…) and it’s as random as “Press Your Luck” Wait, are we seriously doing this joke again? Chris, how bankrupt for ideas are you that you’re doing this stupid joke again? Are you just hoping nobody remembers the Q*bert review?
Oh, but the joke is different this time, because the Whammy robs him at gunpoint, and then it cuts to Kid Bores watching saying he loves the show. Was that needed?
2:46 - 3:18: He lists off the 8 toys in Series 2 (how he remembers that they rolled out two new ones every week is beyond me…). He’s about to say that getting all of them together does something, when he notices one is missing. Let me guess, Fry Kid again? No it’s… Gummies. What? Why? Who? How? What’s the fucking point of any of this?! Where’s the humor?
3:18 - 3:28: Anyway, what can they do together? Become Devastator? No, nothing like that. He just says they become a “force to be reckoned with”. They can destroy cities, hold on, aren’t they supposed to be good guys? Do you have this weird idea that half of them are AutoFries and the other half are DeceptiShakes? Did you just want to poorly animate one of them destroying a city or something?
He also mentions playing with friends, resulting in a one second cameo from Wise Sage. I wonder how much footage they got in the one day of shooting Eric has (he has a family to take care of… by the way Eric, get in touch with me. I can’t contact you on YouTube since they completely changed how messaging works). IG also tries to eat one but fails… This would explain so much.
3:28 - 3:59: The Changeables were a hit, and they brought them back in 1991 (it might be 1990, Wiki says 90 but a commercial I found says 91) but instead of robots, they changed into dinosaurs. Kid Bores is angry at this because he claims dinosaurs aren’t cool and he’d rather play with Rainbow Brite. Ha ha screw you too. Dinosaurs are awesome, you’re an idiot. By the way Chris, aren’t you the one that just made a video where you fought with dinosaur robots? There’s a reason nobody takes you seriously.
He claims the toys did “so badly” that they exploded in a firey hellish blaze. … Your idea of hyperbole isn’t funny. And then a random cameo from Punchy, the Hawaiian Punch mascot. WHY? Just… why?
Onto the rating… joy.
He mentions that he loved playing with these as a kid and his friends collected them as well. Did you really play with your Happy Meal toys? Be honest, you had fun for a minute and you threw it to the side. Just like the most kids. They aren’t even complicated like Transformers which require multiple steps to change.
He brings up a friend in St. Louis, which is where I imagine his source for the original six being in St. Louis only comes from. I find that hard to believe… But he did say he was late to the party so who knows. He’s probably just talking out of his ass again.
Of course, it gets an Overload.
As he signs out, three of the toys come to life. Stop-motion time again! Yaaaaaaaay……….
They fly off and IG grabs them, then they teleport away. IG ends up in… in the same place as Max Headroom. Really… we’re ending on another pointless reference? And Headroom has an exploding banana that takes his face off. Rule of three! Then Headroom somehow turns back to normal to “promote” I Rate the 80s. I feel dirty now…
Crappy crappy video, as per usual.
What were the jokes? It’s like he wanted to do a video on the Changeables but it was too short so he just made up the most random jokes possible. Even going so far as to recycle one from six years ago. This really just made my head hurt…
He didn’t even bring up if the toys were sturdy or not, if they were well made by Happy Meal standards. Was it even a review? Or was this his attempt at “education” as he so claims.
Look, if you’re going to reference something, have it make sense. Connect it to the subject at hand, showcase similarities. Referencing for the sake of referencing is bad comedy. It’s not a joke, all it says is “this existed at one point… LAUGH YOU SHEEP!”
And really, if Chris is trying to be taken seriously with these 80s videos, he needs to cut it out.
I get the feeling this isn’t the last we’ll be seeing of McDonalds on “I Rate the 80s”.