Friday, June 27, 2014
E3 2014 Part 2: Wait, That's It?
Last time on IG’s E3 coverage!
Sonic Boom looks amazing! Don’t you all agree?
I can’t decide between using my phone or using a microphone… Meh, it’s not like anyone will notice how terrible the sound is when I use my phone.
I don’t know what a Metal Gear Solid is, but I’m going to act like I do! There’s this all new power-up where you use a box!
This Zelda not developed by Nintendo is the right direction! More violence! More boobs! Less puzzles and actually trying to make me think!
And now, the continuation.
June 20th 2014
Yeaaaah, I kind of pulled the trigger on last week’s article. He posted three more videos that day. Oh well.
E3 2014 The Evil Within Video Game Interview
Really? This game? Huh, I guess we’re at the “Shit, I’ve only been talking about kids games! Here’s something matoor to remind you that I too am matoor” point of the videos.
Pretty sure Chris wouldn’t get why people are excited for this game (Shinji Mikami returns to horror!)
Boring ass interview is boring.
E3 2014 Dragon Age: Inquisition Video Game First Look Interview
Wait, this game too? What?
Right off the bat you can tell he has no clue about this series. In the description he says “the new sequel to the first Dragon Age game”. There’s a Dragon Age II Chris, I know people didn’t like it but it’s still there. I haven’t seen anything that says it’s no longer canon.
Interview is all generic shit, pointing out things he “noticed”. Hell, the video’s comments even bring this up, one of them laughing at how Chris clearly knows nothing about this series, as he keeps “noticing” things that were there since the first game!
Surprisingly, Bores actually replied to that comment saying:
“It looked cool so I asked for an interview”
Chris… just because you can do an interview, doesn’t mean you should. Here’s a screenshot in case he tries to deny it.
40 second Skylander stupid thing I don’t care…
I really don’t…
June 21st 2014
E3 2014 Gauntlet Reboot Video Game Interview
Here we go…
A few weeks back, my Facebook informant found a post asking Bores what his most anticipated game for E3 was. He replied with “this cool Gauntlet reboot”. Yeaaaaah… Look Chris, if you want to keep your audience, you have to be way more in tune with modern gaming. Nobody believes you’re a retro gamer, and you’re doing an even worse job as a modern one. Just try and put in effort.
The description has him upset that this is only coming to Steam, and he wants it on consoles. Boo hoo, get a gaming PC! … Which you should have since Shaolin Dave has told me that you played Left 4 Dead on Steam, where you acted like a complete scrub, accusing people of cheating. So why do you not talk about PC gaming more often?
Of course, this means that Bores will not be talking about it when it comes out. Just like 95% of the stuff he covers at E3
Just another boring interview… all about enemies, upgrades… usual boring shit.
E3 2014 Gauntlet Reboot Video Game Level 5 Gameplay
Video opens at his house, he goes on about how he’s a big fan of Gauntlet (yeah yeah), and then brings up his complaint that it’s on Steam.
“I’ve never played Steam, I don’t have a reason to be on Steam” That’s not what I’ve been told!
“I may have to change my ways just to play Gauntlet” Yeah I don’t see that happening.
Rest is gameplay.
June 23rd 2014
Skipped another day
Another damn Skylander video
This one is eight and a half minutes long, talking about the next game. Uggggh. And I still get the feeling there’s more.
And it’s gone now. What? Yeah, I remember this video being there but now it’s gone… maybe I was seeing things?
Or maybe I wasn’t as I looked back and noticed the 14 minute Skylander video I mentioned in the previous post is gone too. What is going on?
E3 2014 - The Voice of Skylanders, KAOS - Richard Horovitz Interview
… Oh, this is going to hurt.
He spelled his name wrong. It’s Horvitz not Horovitz. THIS ISN’T HARD!
I can’t expect much from this interview, it’s less than 2 minutes long.
What’s weird is that he spells his name correctly in the video. What the hell?
First part of the video is Horvitz doing some of his more popular voices. Zim, Billy, Daggett, and Alpha 5. It’s the funniest thing to ever appear in an IG video.
“How did you get into Skylanders?” “I auditioned” Chris Bores: Asking the hard hitting questions!
“Do they ask you to come back every week?” That’s… not how it works Chris. This isn’t a TV show, it’s an annual video game. It’s likely they bring him in once every few months for new dialogue.
Jeez, this was such a lame interview. What else is there?
E3 2014 - After Hours, Empty Expo Hall
… Really? A pointless video where you walk around the empty expo? What is this shit?
“Rounding up the last of my E3 videos” Wait, it’s over? But you barely covered anything!
What about list videos?
*waits until Friday* Nothing? I… I guess that’s how he ended E3. Not with a bang, but a whimper. An empty hall, a perfect analogy for his content in general.
No mention of Smash 4 at all, nothing on Bayonetta 2, No Man’s Sky, Bloodborne, Zelda Wii U. Hell, nothing on the conferences in general.
No best/worst lists either. Then again, we didn’t get them last year so it seemed unlikely we’d get them this year. Maybe he realized he couldn’t keep his promise of looking at every game featured on them… Probably the same reason he stopped doing the movie lists (that and he kept putting shitty movies high on the list).
Including the two Skylander videos he removed, but not including the articles he only posted on his site, Bores posted 42 E3 videos this year. A new record, only inflated by the fact 14 of those videos were Skylanders related! That’s a third of his coverage! And he wonders why he’s losing views and fans… Oh right, he believes his Skylanders videos do better than all his other stuff. Even though they clearly don’t. Hell, half the comments are saying they’re unsubscribing because they’re tired of the constant Skylanders.
Maybe that’s why he believes they’re “outperforming” his other videos, because all he has left is Skylanders fans. Going by the pitiful views though, that seems like a really REALLY small audience.
By the way, he’s blaming YouTube for his “slow output” in the last few months (according to my Facebook informant). Quit blaming YouTube Chris, the one clearly at fault is you. Either that or it’s just a bunch of excuses, especially since he’s been slow for years, not months.
Well, that’s all for now. Who knows what the future holds.