Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Storyline Analysis: This is a Terrible, Nonsensical Movie

Hard to believe it’s been over a month since IG finally ended the painfully stupid story arc of his, or his “movie” Though it’s not that hard to believe that he would rush out a DVD 10 days afterwards (he does have a habit of doing that).

However, thanks to Shawn from TotalActionAdventure, we could see what this “movie” consists of.

*reads through list* Hmm, this is quite a mess of a movie.
And so with this knowledge, here’s my look through the Irate Gamer “movie”, and why it doesn’t work as one. Or “Rise of Red”. Seriously, why is it called that?

Part 1: Cool Spot
The story begins by introducing our villain, the Shadow Overlord, and the reveal that the Evil Gamer had been working for him all along (or something). An artifact is mentioned that could release him from this prison (hmmm), and they realize that the Irate Gamer is a threat to them (somehow). Evil Gamer mentions his “trolls” have been useless (yeah yeah, this has been discussed to death…) and then they discuss their plan of stealing IG’s “spehcul” Magnavox Odyssey.
Throughout the episode we get “shenanigans” as Evil Gamer tries to steal the Odyssey, random appearances from Mortal Kombat villain Goro (who is apparently IG’s neighbor for some reason… randomness probably) and after tricking him into a free Xbox, Evil Gamer is successful. We also meet Wilson, oh I’m sorry, “Wilkins”. See, Bores is under the belief that by changing his name, he made him an original character. It’s the same logic Sonic fans use on deviantArt. If this is an attempt at avoiding copyright infringement, it doesn’t really work when you have the Kool-Aid Man show up later in the episode (and as a recurring character throughout… just saying)
Evil Gamer returns to base and extracts the HAL 9000 from the Odyssey and into a robot body. This only questions if History of Video Games is a part of the main series or not, and how did IG get the Odyssey back in one of the later HoVG videos, and does this only count the original version or the George Lucas Remastered version? See, this is what happens when Bores doesn’t think.
Also, IG gets a bunch of 7-Up games for sending in the final screen of Cool Spot to them. He makes it sound like this will go somewhere, but it doesn’t. (According to Shawn, the documentary says he only made this episode because of that joke… I really wish Bores would stop doing that)

Part 2: Robocop
And so we see the other part of Evil Gamers’ plan, make a robot army similar to the HAL-bot, only instead of red eyes, they all have purple eyes. And the lead HAL-bot is called Red for some reason.
Following that, we meet Tony and Wise Sage. Tony reveals he’s a psychopath that beats people up for petty reasons, and Wise Sage is literally the only other actor in this entire fucking “movie” (which says a lot about Bores’ ego and lack of friends). Chris attempts to set up character by revealing they went to high school together, but it doesn’t really mean anything.
Then out of nowhere, R.O.B. the robot appears. Tony reveals he rebuilt and reprogrammed it for… reasons. Despite shooting at IG and Wise Sage, R.O.B. reveals he really is good when an ED-209 also appears out of nowhere to attack IG (there’s a lot of random appearances isn’t there).
Then after the review, the HAL-bots invade the city of… city, and it’s up to IG to stop them! Or rather he just sends R.O.B. to take care of it while he sits on his ass to play more RoboCop games.

Part 3: RoboCop Part 2
As IG plays more terrible RoboCop games, R.O.B. easily disposes of the HAL-bots. Only one laser blast kills them, and they put up zero resistance. There is zero tension or reason to care about this.
Also, Cousin Joey appears. He is pointless to all of this, but Bores claims he’s one of his important characters… I don’t even know.
And with the army taken out, R.O.B. returns home. Evil Gamer tries to order him to return, but it refuses and shoots him (but doesn‘t kill him. It can kill a HAL-bot in one shot, but it only singes Evil Gamer like a cartoon). One would think this would set up a possible betrayal, or Evil Gamer forcefully kidnaps R.O.B. for his own use. But no, this shit goes nowhere.

Part 4: Masters of the Universe
The episode opens with IG getting visited by a monk, who delivers him a sword (the Sword of Inferno). This sword somehow inspires IG to play Masters of the Universe games. There is zero mention of the robot army from last time.
Half-way through, IG holds the sword like Prince Adam, somehow knows the magic words, and “powers up”, which somehow makes him better at video games. He also somehow turns R.O.B. into “Battle Bot” (like Battle Cat but no changes at all). None of this matters.
Then the monk returns to his master, the Sage Elder (who we don’t learn the name of until the penultimate episode, yeah great storytelling) who says IG is the chosen one and the only one to defeat the Shadow Overlord. Yaaaay clichés!
Oh and Ronnie shows up in IG’s room for the first time. He appeared in Part 2 but as part of a *sighs* TV show. So… yeah.

Part 5: Silver Surfer
The episode opens on a news report with Kent Brockman (because I refuse to use his actual character name) talking about the robot invasion from two episodes (why it wasn’t addressed last time I don’t know… this movie is all over the place so far). The news report doesn’t really accomplish anything other than Evil Gamer threatening the world and nobody calling the police on them.
The episode also reintroduces the Genie, now played by Bores because he was too lazy to get Brad Harp to reprise the role (he claims he moved away, but knowing how long Bores takes to make videos, he could have easily called him and asked to do a weekend of shooting, making me wonder if they had a falling out)
As IG reaches the final boss of the game (thanks to cheating!), he gets a warning about the Pixel Demon. This scares everyone in his vicinity away, then the monk from last time shows up out of nowhere (again, random appearances) and tells him that the Pixel Demon was a horrifying creature that was locked away in a game that’s impossible to beat (even though people have beaten Silver Surfer before… just saying). So the monk tells him to use the Power of Inferno to, wait, wasn’t it the Sword of Inferno? Turns out the sword is just a small part of his power, as the Power of Inferno can do anything! Like create surfboards out of thin air! This leads to a sequence where IG goes into the game to face the Pixel Demon (according to the documentary, this is the real reason he didn’t do the Silver Surfer review years ago like he promised, though I’m pretty sure that’s a lie). What does the Pixel Demon do? What horrifying powers does it contain that forced it to be locked away in a video game? He stands there… does nothing… while IG throws a Bob-omb at it… Laaaaaaaaaame.
But then it’s shown that the Pixel Demon is still alive when it escapes from the TV. Does this lead up to anything? NOPE!
Side-note: According to Shawn, one of the deleted scenes on the DVD is an alternate take of the “Mega Man shaking his fist at the game” joke. This one has IG tell him “shake harder, boy!” Copying the ending to The Simpsons episode “Lemon of Troy”. … Yeaaaah.

Part 6: X-Men
Despite 5 months between videos, IG claims he’s on a “comic book kick” and looks at X-Men for the NES. During this, the X-Men from the game show up in his room (all played by Bores). Cyclops, Wolverine, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Iceman and Storm.
However, the X-Men aren’t here to help, but rather to make IG look ultra-powerful. When he swats Wolverine away for objecting to being made fun of, the other X-Men crap their pants and start working as his slaves. I am not kidding, when he asks for water, they give him water. Later on he kills Cyclops and Iceman for petty reasons. Our hero everyone!
After that complete botching of great comic book characters, we go to the villain base where we see them making a giant HAL-bot. So we’re back to robots now…

Parts 7, 8, and 9: Die Hard, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek.
Nothing of plot importance happens in these three videos. However, Bores included them on the DVD, thus they’re technically part of his “movie”. According to Shawn, on the documentary he said that these episodes served as a test for his “Power of Inferno”. Did Bores even watch these episodes? The only thing that relates to the story arc is the appearance of R.O.B. There’s no “Power of Inferno”, there’s no Shadow Overlord or Evil Gamer, there’s nothing to remind people that the story is still going. Hell, for a while, people thought he gave up on it.

Part 10: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers SNES
After a year (that’s how long it took between this and the X-Men review), the giant HAL-bot is released. It takes the entire episode to get to the city of… city.
While IG plays MMPR on SNES, his “friends” interrupt him. For… reasons.
Then the giant HAL-bot reaches the city, the monk appears and takes IG to “see his friends.
Oh and the X-Men reappear (somehow alive) only to get crushed and killed by the giant HAL-bot. … yeah…

Part 11: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Genesis
The monk has taken IG to the command center from Power Rangers, where the Sage Elder serves as Zordon. IG’s friends in question are Wise Sage, Tony, Not-Wilson, and Ronnie. Oh there was also a running gag through out the videos where Not-Wilson keeps getting hit with game cartridges. I didn’t mention it before because it wasn’t important but it does addressed here… and means nothing as IG continues to be a jerk.

So in order to stop the giant robot, they need to power the Zords from Power Rangers through IG getting angry at a game (……….). They succeed and begin the fight using stock footage from Power Rangers. Not original, the actual fight footage from Power Rangers. Once again, I don’t think this is satire on Saban re-using Sentai footage, but Bores really is that lazy.
The giant robot proves to be too much and they’re about to lose.

Part 12: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Sega CD
But the Genie shows up again and distracts the giant HAL-bot, that way IG can play another game to power up the Megazord.
And he succeeds, they power up the Megazord and kill the giant HAL-bot, a bunch of various Bores in costumes (and a few cameos) cheer for him and that’s pretty much it. Oh and the remains of the Giant HAL-bot crush the Shadow Overlord. …

Hooooo boy. Where do I begin?
First off, this movie does not follow a proper three-act structure. Hell, the robot army alone would be the climax of a film. But no, it’s just “the beginning”.
The plot is all over the place. It starts up with the robots, ends, then moves on to Pixel Demon, that ends, and finally the giant robot. During all this, IG has no idea the Shadow Overlord even exists. Hell, IG never actually meets the villain. For all he knows, it’s all the work of Evil Gamer. Plus, the Pixel Demon interruption was pointless. Especially when the other villains were still around.
And then you have a good 25 minutes where the plot doesn't move at all. If this really were a movie, you'd get single digits on the Rotten Tomatoes.

Notice how I mentioned the artifact in Part 1. That artifact never gets mentioned again. It was clearly set up that the Shadow Overlord was going to be released, but it never happened. Characters show up out of nowhere and disappear just as fast. The movie’s genre is all over the place. What is it? Science-fiction? Fantasy? Action? What the hell are you?

IG himself is an unlikable shithead, at no point do we want to root for him. Whether he’s yelling at his friends or killing people, one might find themselves rooting for the villains!
And then there’s the Power of Inferno. What are the rules? Powers need rules, otherwise your characters would be boring. What are the limits, the weaknesses, what can defeat it? We don’t get any of these answers. From what it sounds like, the Power of Inferno can do anything.
At first, it looked like it can only be accessed through the sword, much like He-Man. Fine. But then in Silver Surfer he didn’t use the sword at all, and still managed to summon a surfboard. Then in X-Men, he could access it and shoot fireballs, without the sword. Hell, the sword doesn’t even show up again until the finale (and it’s really just the Power Sword from Power Rangers, much like all the other stock footage in that episode). So really, the Power of Inferno just sounds like a lazy excuse to give IG powers without any rhyme or reason.

Going by the documentary he posted on YouTube (which is just a small part of the 20 minute one on the DVD), his intention was to end with the Power Rangers Megazord fight. That was his only plan. It’s clear that everything before that was made up on the spot. And by god does it show.
Despite going for a creative writing degree in college (if his old page on The Dark Chapters is anything to go by), Chris is a terrible writer. His story is loaded with clichés, his characters are either flat or Marty Stus (well, just him really) and he seems to care more for stuffing in special effects than actually telling a story.
He would constantly call it “episodic”, but that’s not what that means. An on-going story is normally referred to as “serialized”, an episodic show is one that can tell a story in one episode (like most crime dramas out there). He often cited Lost, True Blood, Game of Thrones and Dexter as inspirations. He didn’t seem to understand what made these shows work though. They had intrigue, tension, and a cast of MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE! Seriously, the fact Bores plays 99% of the cast is horribly distracting. He tries to justify it by saying it’s “part of the charm”, but there is nothing charming about seeing 6 versions of yourself as the X-Men.

I do wonder if calling this his “movie” was always his intention. Maybe he heard that James Rolfe was making a movie, and when people kept asking if he would do one too, he would say that “Season 4 is my movie” in a sad attempt to appease the fans.
And yet, he would make a different “movie”, Pursuit of the Paranormal. So it seems he cares more for bullshit ghost hunting than he does for the show that actually gave him fans. In the end, Chris Bores will never be a film director, and he should never try to tell a story again. He may have a handful of fans that slobber all of that crap, but people over the age of 11 can see it for what it really is. Garbage.

By the way, has anyone been able to figure out how many story arcs Linkara was able to tell in the time it took Bores just to do this one? Basically, everything from October 2010 to April 2014.


  1. And for the first time in years, we aren't sure what to look forward to from him. Probably more Skylanders, good chance of more game reviews, maybe more ghost hunting.

    He posted a map of E3, but do we have any confirmation that he'll be there?

    1. I'm gonna bet that there's going to be another story arc.

    2. Maybe there will be, but at this point in time, what's next in the IG saga? How long ago was the dumbass Shadow Lord plot introduced? And now it's over, in a way even more unsatisfying than the one I thought Bores would've actually used.

  2. Wow. What a horrible mess of a story Bores made.

    Great analyzing, Dan. And Shawn of TotalActionAdventures, too!

    Now, we wait for Bores to gush on more Skylanders crap.

  3. Hey is it just me or does the pixel demon resemble the frankenstien monster that came out of the TV in AVGN's halloween episode?

    1. Knowing Bores, that might or might not be coincidental. With James, though, he didn't try to focus a plot on the thing, plus it was something from an actual game (and an Atari game, so it's pixelation has an excuse).

    2. I'll give Bores the benefit of the doubt and say it's a coincidence, it's not like it's a particularly original design anyway. It's basically just a "little green man" alien stereotype that happened to be used in a shitty Frankenstein game, and green is also usually the colour associated with zombies when they're in cartoon form. Since Bores wanted a pixelated antagonist, it made sense for him to use one of these two designs for it.

      But the very fact he's under suspicion of copying something so trivial that was only in an old AVGN episode for a minute or so speaks volumes for how bad Bores's reputation still is after all this time.

    3. I figured it just be coincidental its just that they're usage is somewhat similar. They both come the fuck out of nowhere with a degree of waiting, both from the TV and are killed quickly.

  4. From what I could tell, Linkara was able to do six story arcs that lasted months each and were heavily scheduled and consistent along with each one being built on what came before it. Bores couldn't every tell one story over three and half years.

    1. Further proof that he has zero legitimate passion for the role of Irate Gamer. If he did, he wouldn't have half-arsed his 'movie' like this. Compare that to AVGN spending years planning his film before shooting it, which only took a few weeks, then has since spent further years editing it. The anticipation is through the roof because, regardless of how good or bad it ends up being, the sheer scope of what he's done and the amount of care and agency behind it is almost unprecedented for an internet reviewer. Bores just couldn't have given less of a fuck if his life depended on it. That's why nobody takes him seriously.

  5. How many was I able to do? Depends on how one person defines arcs vs. another person.

    Me personally, I define the arcs by the final villain, with a start and end point for those arcs. Going by the dates you listed, October 2010 was right in the middle of "All That He Sees He Conquers," which is the Vyce arc. Some fans consider this an arc in itself called "A Story of Magic," since the episodes are linked together to form the origins of the Magic Gun, but I say it's just part of the Vyce arc. That ends in February 2011, which then sets off "A Piece of the World is Missing," the Entity arc. That ended in October of the same year. From there we had a brief arc to fill in the rest of the time (since arcs USUALLY ended in February, but I'm changing that these days) called "His Blue Soul" that ended in February 2012. From there, we had the Gunslinger arc or "Gun and Sorcery," which lasted through February 2013, though it consisted of lots of mini-arcs like Holokara, the journey to restore the magic, the Halloween arc, the Christmas arc, and etc. From there was another shorter horror-themed arc with "Ghost of the Machine," which ended in October 2013. And in April of this year I started a new arc, "The Machinations of Worms."

    So if we combined the start of Worms with the Vyce arc, that's roughly five TOTAL storylines, or at least four and a half. And while I know there are many out there who consider my storylines to be self-indulgent power fantasies or Mary Sue-esque romps into exclaiming how awesome I am, I'd like to think I NEVER get as bad as it gets in this show. Hell, the Gunslinger arc is all about Linkara recognizing his more douchey qualities from the last several years and how this could lead him to becoming a villain. Because I recognized that after escalating threats that kept getting defeated, continually trying to make bigger and badder threats wasn't going to keep making for compelling drama - I needed to do some actual character development.

    Stories like this require a beginning, middle, and end. Bores' story follows no logical narrative structure. I don't even mind the shift from a robotic threat to one based on magic (hell, I do that all the damn time on my show), but all the unanswered questions and crappy behavior of the "hero" just do not make this an enjoyable sit. Stuff just gets handed to him and the "work" he has to do is review crappy games, which is what he was going to do anyway. See, I actually recognize the utter absurdity and silliness of an internet reviewer fighting robots and monsters. Bores does not.

    1. Thank you Lewis.
      Five arcs... I think that says a lot.

      And yeah, Bores is not self-aware about his work at all. Otherwise, he'd be able to take criticism.

    2. Hell, some of the more recent episodes of the Nostalgia Critic come closer to a three-act structure than this 12-part piece of fail, and they're produced within a fortnight. There's just no excuse for how bad Bores's storyline is. The only way it could have worked is if he'd been self-deprecating (same as Lewis admitting he flip-flops between genres and knows how silly it is but makes up for it in other areas) but instead I get the feeling Bores genuinely thought he was making a hero of his character and was looking awesome. That's the only thing that can explain the pathetic, desperate Archbellend cameo in the final episode - it was his visual representation of the middle finger to James Rolfe, and every other decent reviewer who laid the foundations upon which Bores has been able to make money, as well as those who can see through his lies and bullshit. It was essentially Bores's equivalent of Moonwalker, except even more painfully self-indulgent and without a couple of cool music videos mixed into it.

    3. I think I've conjectured before that Bores enjoys promoting and announcing things more than the work of actually delivering. But with the end of the arc, one really gets a feeling that he suffers a kind of story-blindness: he literally cannot detect how, say, Empire Strikes Back is superior to Phantom Menace. That's a weird neurological condition to posit, so it's more likely that he doesn't care; that to him, as long as he APPEARS superficially to be doing something worthwhile, it doesn't matter whether it holds up under close inspection.

      Where would this attitude come from? Maybe the kind of women he's into are so dumb that "YouTube Celebrity" is the only badge that he thinks matters.

      Maybe he's deluded himself that hard work of any kind is a form of failure; or that watching videos is so easy and fun, that the feeling should carry over into making them.

      But I think a likelier theory is that he suffers the kind of delusion you see on the season premieres of American Idol: those auditioners who've already convinced themselves that they're destined for stardom, under which logic honing their skills would be an unnecessary grind (although I admit he's honed his skills, intentionally or not, on many visual aspects). This could stem from his sudden early success when he was featured on YouTube; the high was probably pretty strong for a while, and he may have convinced himself that he'd already 'arrived' and no more really hard work was necessary. Good comedy LOOKS effortless, no matter how much great difficulty lies behind it. I don't suppose Bores ever got that telegram.

      All that and some kind of James Rolfe obsession that's so cryptically half-internalized we have no hope of sorting it out.

    4. I think that the fact that once you put everything together his epic story is just one unconnected scene after another.

      I still think that the only reason he even started doing this in the first place was because Linkara did a story arc. Even some of the things in this 'epic' story screams stealing ideas. The Pixel Demon is almost a carbon copy of The Entity. Even the Shadow Overlord seems like a Lord Vice copy. What makes it worse is he doesn't do anything with any of them.

      You can't have a epic enemy beaten that easily. It gets silly real fast.

  6. Also, I'd like to say that Mr. Kara here at least makes interesting characters for himself to play. He also has puppets, other actors for stuff (such as the Gunslinger and Nimue, pardon me if I spelled that wrong, but I remember the plot guide spelling it that way). And to be fair, I think the only Gary Stu quality of Linkara is how he always has plans, but really, that comes from his knowledge of crappy plans in comics. Plus, like me, you and I both hate characters that do stupid things for no reason. Also wanted to say I loved your last episode of AT4W. And I agree, they should have kept the Name of the Grissle Missile. In Fact, the next time I capture a Tauros in Pokemon, I am naming it that.

    1. You spelled it right. ^_^

      The other thing to note is that Linkara does not always succeed. His initial plan for fighting the Entity was using the magic gun. It failed spectacularly. He got curb-stomped by Vyce because I knew I had built up Vyce as this big, scary threat and I needed to DELIVER on that threat by having him kick Linkara's ass and shrug off everything thrown at him. Even after all the development Linkara went through during his travelling, he STILL made a massive mistake by stranding the Gunslinger. Your hero needs to have flaws and setbacks or there is no dramatic tension.

    2. Linkara, I like your reviews. I've watched a few of them so far. I will admit, I don't like the whole story line in reviews thing. I think it's lame. HOWEVER. Credit to you for actually putting thought and effort into them. Can't say the same for IG. Also I have a team and I am actually working on a webcomic series. Hopefully my work wont end up in your videos ;-)

    3. You forgot to mention the sheer fun that is SNOWFLAME! Yes while Linkara has made several excellent characters all Bores has done is show that he has a possible idea for a character but nothing about them distinguishes one from another. His Cool Aid Man manages to have less personality then the actual one and it get worse from there.

  7. Shameful plug for one of my favourite Youtube reviewers/essayists:

    It's relevant because you mentioned how magic should have rules, while he makes the case for the opposite. I can see both arguments so I'm not taking sides, but I'd say it's worth hearing his reasoning. Where his argument falls down, though, is with videogames where you absolutely need to know how to defeat magic enemies or what your own limits are.

    Also, on a completely unrelated subject, NC's finally reviewed Blues Brothers 2000 and it's probably his funniest review since Rachel left, possibly joint with Food Fight.

    1. I believe magic will need limits in all cases otherwise you risk creating a story breaking power because everyone else who doesn't use magic is screwed! Assuming everyone else does have magic, there's too much difficulty in understanding who wins in a fight because there's no explanation on how magic works (unless you do something like lots of magic = exhaustion, but that's a rule). Therefore every fight will just won by whether the author wanted that person to win. That's as much fun as scrolling to the bottom of the screen to see how much time there is left in order to estimate the chances of a protagonist victory.

  8. Bores must've failed his college course miserably to poop out something unfunny and inconsistent as this. Nice analysis BatDan!

  9. I've said it once and I'll say it again, when Bores turns Rob into 'Battlebot' would it have killed him to have jumped cut in the Famicom version of Rob while he is being 'Battlebot.' If there was any sign that he lacks any kind of effort in this storyline it is that. And no he can't claim that he didn't have that as we've seen it multiple times in previous videos. Given the fact that activating the 'Inferno Force' turn his shirt red makes that idea even MORE obvious as something he should of done.

    Laziness from start to finish.

  10. " IG gets a bunch of 7-Up games for sending in the final screen of Cool Spot to them."

    Just a thought. I've watched almost his whole storyline now. And wouldn't it have been a much better plot device to have the sword of inferno be the gift for the cool spot prize rather than that.... unfunny... joke? Just a thought. Either way I think story lines in game reviews are stupid.

    1. Possibly, though that raises the question of why they'd be giving away a mystical sword as a prize for completing a video game, especially since one that's not nearly impossible to beat.

    2. There is the SwordQuest series of games that did have as the prize a sword. Too bad it never finished.

    3. Honestly if the whole story arc was humorous I would love that. In No More Heroes Travis Touchdown got his beam katana from an online auction, as well as learning all of his sword skills from a gym and videotapes from his rental place. I could tolerate winning a magic sword or transformation device as a prize for beating a game.

  11. Also, Hate to double post but, would the community rather I do a single analysis video of the "Irate Gamer Movie" Or an in depth review of every episode in the story line?

    1. Whichever you feel you have the time to do.

      A single video will take less time then 1+ videos on each and every episode in the storyline. Heck that might even include episodes that exist solely to introduce a character such as the super mario bros 2 episode which serves to introduce evil gamer or the muscle review which introduces the role of THC in the creation of the show.

    2. "Gamers who play on both the PC and video game consoles are the core of the gaming market," Raptr chief executive Dennis Fong said. "They not only represent the vanguard of the video games market, they also significantly influence the second- and third-tier gamers who make up the rest of the video games consumer base."

    3. Sorry for the above. I forgot what I had in my clipboard.

      Mark, do one single analysis of the storyline. I doubt most people would bother to watch an episode-by-episode breakdown.

  12. If only DVDs had realistic descriptions on the back of them:

    An unlikeable protagonist gains senseless abilities to defeat a foe that he will never meet all the while, stealing jokes and footage and making weird faces that resemble being constipated and having a dislocated jaw.

    1. Don't forget THC and an intergalactic war destroying most of humanity oh and plagiarism... lots and lots of plagiarism.

      Tony still looks like a maplestory sprite right?

  13. I was rewatching Mr. Plinkett's review of The Phantom Menace after watching the original Star Wars trilogy for the first time. What stuck out was his entire rant about the poor characters, especially for Anakin.

    "(...) and then the things that are happening around him are out of his control or understanding. If a protagonist has no concept of what's going on or what's at stake then there's no real tension or drama. Without that there's no story so the conclusion is that their isn't one."

    Couldn't this arguably be applied to IG? In fact, a lot of Mr. Plinkett's points could be applied to IG which makes his failure all the more interesting. You have people on the Internet who are incredibly knowledgeable in filmmaking and production, and then there's this clown who flails about unable to write a cohesive story, let alone set up a decent video.

    1. Aw crap, I mixed "their" and "there." I feel dumb now.

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. 1) He was given the sword because it's a movie, and movies are cool when there's swords.

      2) No, there could not have been a quest because quests have logical beginning-middle-end structures and are therefore hard.

      3) It was given to him because he's the only person in the Irate Gamer universe.

      4) Nothing makes him special.

      5) Shadow Overlord's purpose is to be a villain, because there are only three or four other villains in the storyline.

  15. Little off topic, but Arkham Knight was just officially delayed to 2015. Shame, I was looking forward to it too.

    1.'re not still looking forward to it? :D

      Seriously though, that IS a bummer. The E3 footage looks pretty fantastic, and thankfully it doesn't appear that the Batmobile stuff is compulsory. It's not that I don't want to use it, but that I'd rather Rockstar not force it on us.

      IMO, the best part of the previous games was the freedom to go about completing missions however I wanted to, and forcing me to use the Batmobile would hamper that for me.

    2. Oh well, I'm still looking forward to it. I'm also intrigued to see Scarecrow after his incident with Killer Croc in Asylum since Rocksteady Studios is determined to keep him in the shadows until the game is released.

  16. Hey guys xenonauts has been released. Here's hoping it doesn't suck.

  17. Less than a week to E3. What are you guys excited about?

    1. Bores' stammered quasi-sentences about stuff we already know!

    2. Basically anything regarding Kingdom Hearts. I'd be happy to hear about 2.5's release date, 'cause then I get to fulfill a childhood dream (KH II).

    3. Good news! A release date came out yesterday.
      December 2nd for NA, December 5th for PAL

    4. Every year I'm less and less excited for E3. It may have something to do with my dwindling interest in current gen games. The only things that interests me in any way is Arkham Knight and Kingdom Hearts II.5 HD, and even then Arkham Knight is going to be only on PS4 and XBone, neither of which I care for, and KH II is the point where Kingdom Hearts irreparably lost me.

    5. Hoping Nintendo talks about the following.
      Hyrule Warriors
      Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire
      That HD Pokemon thing last year
      Sonic Boom
      The NFC figures in Smash Bros.

  18. I think even single digits on Rotten Tomatoes would be way too nice for this incoherent excuse for a movie.

  19. Wow. This whole storyline of his is just one big clusterfuck. Oh. and if Chris Bores truly believed his Skylanders videos are more popular than his IG videos, then he would've dropped Irate Gamer, abandon the main channel, promote his Skylanders channel, and move to that channel.

  20. More and more Bores shows he has no idea what he's talking about.
    He recently posted an article about video game perler bead art "interacting" with the real world. There's four pictures.
    He calls them "NES Sprites", however a quick look at the first two show the Minish Cap version of Link (a GBA game). Hell, the second picture has Ezlo.
    The only NES related one is the fourth picture with Mario.
    The third picture includes Lyn from Fire Emblem 7, but of course Bores doesn't even mention that in his post because "Herp derp what's a Fire Emblem?"

    1. Gotta love the very first sentence of that post.

      yep they are kind of brought to life in this small gallery where Perler Bead artist Daniel Alba has created a whole gallery of.

      Shame the PPC can't be contacted about this for the department of redundancy department for this redundancy since it is out of their jurisdiction. I think I got somewhat meta with that joke. Still, I don't get how he could not recognize Lyn since she was in Brawl as an assist trophy. Also, how in the world would he confuse the Zelda ones for an nes sprite. Is he that stupid that he doesn't noticed that it isn't even close to being 8-bit. Can he seriously call himself a Zelda fan and yet cannot tell the Links apart?

  21. In other news, due to health problems, Satoru Iwata won't be attending E3 2014. Whether or not this was the reason for the lack of a press conference this year is yet to be confirmed.

  22. I really love this post and Shawn's review! Nice job BatDan and Shawn! ;)

    Also, off-topic but recently, the results of the 2014 Tales Character Popularity Poll is up!

    Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia and Leon Magnus from Tales of Destiny are inducted in the hall of fame (Because they have top the list many times in a row now.), so the two can't be voted.

    Here are the results:
    30-Tear Grants (Tales of the Abyss)
    29-Elize Lutus (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    28-Richard (Tales of Graces)
    27-Gaius (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    26-Colette Brunel (Tales of Symphonia)
    25-Kongway Tao (Tales of Innocence R)
    24-Cheria Barnes (Tales of Graces)
    23-Estelle (Tales of Vesperia)
    22-Leia Rolando (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    21-Reid Hershel (Tales of Eternia)
    20-Reala (Tales of Destiny 2)
    19-Sophie (Tales of Graces)
    18-Spada Belforma (Tales of Innocence)
    17-Julius Will Kresnik (Tales of Xillia 2)
    16-Alvin (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    15-Milla Maxwell (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    14-Jade Curtiss (Tales of the Abyss)
    13-Rita (Tales of Vesperia)
    12-Guy Cecil (Tales of the Abyss)
    11-Zelos Wilder (Tales of Symphonia)
    10-Kratos Aurion (Tales of Symphonia)
    9-Lloyd Irving (Tales of Symphonia)
    8-Emil Castagnier (Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World)
    7-Flynn Scifo (Tales of Vesperia)
    6-Raven (Tales of Vesperia)
    5-Judas (Tales of Destiny 2)
    4-Asbel Lhant (Tales of Graces)
    3-Jude Mathis (Tales of Xillia 1/2)
    2-Luke fon Fabre (Tales of the Abyss)
    1-Ludger Will Kresnik (Tales of Xillia 2)

    Ludger tops the popularity poll this year, which makes me excited for Xillia 2 even more. I'm also happy that Luke is placed second, Jude is third and Asbel is fourth. I'm surprised that Raven (who is 6th) is the most popular Vesperia character in this year's poll, just barely beating Flynn Scifo (Who is a fangirl favorite).

    1. I've noticed that absolutely no one talks about Tales of Legendia. Why is that? I'm not saying it's a hidden gem or anything but it's a decent game (though it's the only Tales game I've played). I dunno, I've always found it kinda odd no one EVER brings it up.

    2. I haven't played that one myself personally, but from what I know about it it was made by a company other than Tales Studio, and it's also somewhat different from the others. Not a bad game, like you said, just a bit farther from the series' norm.

    3. I actually have never been able to get into the Tales games, which really is hard to believe, since I've always been into those types of games.

      I tried once to play one on the PSP years ago at a store that I played Magic the gathering at, and I don't know if it was just me or what, but it seemed to me like it was just taking too long to get into the game.

      I stood there for what seemed like 10 minutes and still hadn't even gotten to a point where I could actually play. Mostly was just dialogue, which really wouldn't have been bad if it were more spread out, but after so long going through without really doing anything I just stopped playing.

      I might try to pick up the series again at some point, but I don't know how long that will be.

  23. If the Die Hard, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek episodes are supposed to be part of the movie, their connections to the rest of the movie should be stronger (such as Lieutenant Drunkard and the supposed designer of the G.I. Joe game showing up with the X-Men during the heaven scene in the final episode). As is, the only call-back was the "Carl Winslow text message" gag from the Die Hard episode.

    Anyway, here's what I thnk are possible uses of the Inferno Force in the Die Hard, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek reviews:

    Die Hard review: Throwing the game cartridge from his house in Sandusky, Ohio to Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles, California, blowing up the building in the process.
    G.I. Joe review: Nothing that suggests the use of the Inferno Force as far as I can tell, unless he's somehow using it to show Mario the helicopter that he claims to act like Lakitu.
    Star Trek review: Taking a Zelda cartridge and hacking its menu and items into the Star Trek game.

    1. Including the GI Joe review just shows that Irate Gamer is an even BIGGER villain than Evil Gamer because it includes a scene of him KILLING an innocent person.

      Yes Bores, your character totally test himself that see if he's a sociopath.

  24. Won't be getting any Irate Gamer videos out in a while. 1: My hard drive crashed.... yeah. Got a technician coming to replace it this week, but till then im stuck.
    2: ARCHAGE ALPHA ACCESS!!!!! Going to stream and do videos on this game hard core.
    3: Have to buy the dvd for review purposes. I will give a spoiler, there will be a rather epic destruction of the dvd at the end of the storyline review.

  25. Well, here is support for BatDan's theory that Chris is doing paid ghost hunts. For only $35 you too can follow Bores around and see him interact with blinking lights.

    1. That'd be the worst $35 anyone ever spent ever. It'd probably be more cost effective to use that money to buy a Ouiji board.

    2. 'Hosted by Chris Bores, one of the leading ghost communicators in the field.'

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Bores, you never fail to cheer us up.

      'Obtain a 90 minute conversation with a spirit in the 'Pursuit of the Paranormal Documentary'

      He's still a big liar. We know from Shawn that the documentary is only 54 minutes long and it's still the same crap we see from your other Haunted Investigators episodes.

  26. While there's a lull, I just discovered this YouTube comedy legend. Do you think we could get him to collaborate with Bores?

  27. Hmmm so season 4 took nearly 4 years to complete? At least bores is good at forshadowing. That or he has a cruel sense of irony.

  28. So what do you thing about the Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire Corocoro scans yesterday.

    1. I really liked the hoenn starters mega evolutions,specially swampert looks awesome, they showed a mega evolution for diancie but,have they revealed how people can obtain it? as fow the primal groudon and kyogre i like it and it will probably just be an alternate form by having them hold the red and blue orb respectively rather than a mega evolution

  29. So, I saw Stossel on tv. During their "Popular Nonsense" segment, they brought up the Godzilla movie having a connection with global warming, stuff involving unpaid interns, and violent video games. When they started talking about the violent video games, guess who they brought in? JACK F***ING THOMPSON!! Isn't that kinda beating a dead horse?
    From what I can tell, Stossel thinks Jack is full of crap, just like everyone else.

    1. I thought Jack Thompson was done doing the video game violence thingy.

    2. I remembered he was disbarred. Coincidently it was on Penny-Arcade cocreator Gabe's birthday.

    3. @shaolin dave
      That's kinda why I thought he quit. It takes a lot of stupidity and balls ass ego to take a degree that's hard to get (and can earn you a lot of money) and ruin it completely.

  30. Big, big update from James Rolfe, and stay tuned for his closing sentence!:

    1. "Year of the Nerd"

      And unlike someone ELSE we know, James set up all his big plans for the year BEFORE making the statement.

  31. So anyone else heard of the Nintendo affiliate program? For those that don't know google and nintendo are pending a process that will give permission for content uploaders to get a cut of ad revenue. So far not a whole lot is known of the program but I would like to point out that this is probably going to be a more specialized form of the network system youtube has currently which would probably take more money from said content creator than Nintendo would ever dream of doing.

  32. Pink gold Peach is now officially a thing. I'll let you find out how so.

  33. Well, no update to his news site today- evidence that he's been traveling to E3.

    Perhaps the next we hear from him, it'll be repeating what someone else from GotGame just said, only clumsier and less grammatical.

    1. Yeah, maybe a month or two after E3, with as long as it takes him to get ANYTHING out regarding it.

  34. You know I find if very funny how history seems to be repeating and yet few gamers seem to notice it. What I am talking about is while the Playstation is known as the selling console in terms of amount sold it did have one small flaw one that people overlook. It had very few games and a year head start on it's console generation. Sound familiar?

    1. Oh, it gets even better.

    2. Well, someone repeated the Virtua boy's mistake but it wasn't Nintendo. In fact Sega did even worse since they announced that that console was out during E3. What I am saying is that the Virtua Boy was supposed to be Gunpei Yokoi's farewell gift to Nintendo, unfortunately Nintendo pushed forward a prototype and the rest is a red stain on Nintendo's past.

  35. So, new Star Fox, Amiibo, MP10, Sonic Boom Wii U/3DS, Pokemon OR and AS, New Zelda, Hyrule Warriors, Mario Maker, Xenoblade X, Beyonetta 2, Splatune(not sure if I spelled it right), Palutena and Mii in Smash, and Smash Invitational.

    1. Splatoon. I have to say Nintendo crushed Sony and Microsoft in E3 this year. I also have to massively applaud them for doing it pretty much solely from their games.

    2. Also, there's a liveblog on Nintendo World Report right now involving the Smash Bros. Developer Discussion right now, and apparently both Pac-Man and Mr. Game and Watch are confirmed.

  36. E3 2014 has been going great so far in my opinion. I really enjoyed the press conferences held by Microsoft, EA, Ubisoft, and Sony (in my opinion, they were more enjoyable than E3 2013's conferences). Nintendo's Digital Event was also spectacular! (Plus, there was no lag at all during the airing on Nintendo's website.)
    The following games really looked cool to me:
    - Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
    - Tom Clancy's The Division
    - Forza Horizon 2
    - Assassin’s Creed: Unity
    - Star Wars Battlefront
    - Battlefield Hardline
    - Far Cry 4
    - The Crew
    - Rainbow Six Siege
    - Destiny
    - Little Big Planet 3
    - Dead Island 2
    - Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS
    - Yoshi's Woolly World
    - Legend of Zelda Wii U
    - Hyrule Warriors
    - Kirby and the Rainbow Curse
    - Mario Maker
    - Splatoon
    - Mario Party 10
    - Captain Toad's Treasure Tracker
    - Project Guard
    - Star Fox Wii U
    I also really enjoyed the Super Smash Bros. Invitational Tournament held at the Nokia Theatre. It was awesome and filled to the brim with excitement, suspense and hype.


  38. Games I'm looking forward in the upcoming months/year:

    - Bayonetta 2
    - Halo 5: Guardians
    - Rise of the Tomb Raider
    - Uncharted 4: A Thief's End
    - Rainbow Six Siege
    - Farcry 4
    - Assassin's Creed: Unity
    - Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (I know I'm going to get a lot of hate messages but to be honest, this may be the first COD to get my full attention)
    - Mortal Kombat X
    - Alien: Isolation
    - Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
    - Sunset Overdrive
    - And Batman: Arkham Knight

  39. Oh goody, he's got E3 videos out ...

    1. What a shock. Right now most of the games he's covering are not show stealers.

    2. Grumble grumble... he's not engaging the camera in any way. It's all raw video from the scene, with the same effect as found footage. It'd be more entertaining if he tried to enunciate facts about the games that were both interesting and true. Perhaps we ourselves have cowed him into trying less hard.

      On the other hand: "We were not supposed to put this crazy gal on the gamepad for the new Disney Infinity Games, but we tempted fate and you can now see her in-game, wooo!" Who the crap is "we?"

  40. Hey guys, I got a shiny Golett and I've evolved it into a Golurk. It also has Iron Fist.


  41. Thank you Bat Dan for being brave enough to watch all this shit. He needs to be banned from the internet for sure. I can't open up youtube without it recommending one of his fucking episodes. I put some choice comments on his finale video and his GI Joe one under Duffman390. Check em out and give a thumbs up. I'm a little scared that a mob of 11yr olds are going to burn out of my house or his mother is going to send her family in the FBI to arrest me. I love good vids and reads on the web, but I'm not that involved, but something about IG just pissed me the fuck off from day one. I want to watch some wrestling shoots, or history docs, or god forbid AVGN, and I see Bores ugly sperm receptacle on the front page. I mentioned about his bio where he compared his shows to something akin to shows on AMC (at least that was my impression) mixed with Adult Swim. It felt good to vent a little, because as an old school guy I just can't stand a fake shitting all over games like GI Joe or Goonies II. "Durr, I hafta look search around and challenge my mind and manual dexterity, it's so flawled." Thank you again.

  42. I bet Chris Bores wanted AVGN to agree to feature in one of his videos to appear as the shadow overlord

    One of the biggest evidence is because the shadow overlord and the evil gamer sent minions to troll Irate Gamer's videos.... as seen in one of his reviews. The other is who other than AVGN, the "shadow" that Chris Bores is always under and his greatest enemy to feature as the ultimate enemy in the Irate Gamer

    1. And it still baffles me that people are dissing James' movie and praising Chris' for absolutely mundane reasons...

      I think BatDan may want to do a post comparing the two movies one of these days... if he wants to.