Hard to believe it’s been over a month since IG finally ended the painfully stupid story arc of his, or his “movie” Though it’s not that hard to believe that he would rush out a DVD 10 days afterwards (he does have a habit of doing that).
However, thanks to Shawn from TotalActionAdventure, we could see what this “movie” consists of. http://www.totalactionadventure.com/content/are-they-worth-it-dvds-internet-19-irate-gamer-volume-4
*reads through list* Hmm, this is quite a mess of a movie.
And so with this knowledge, here’s my look through the Irate Gamer “movie”, and why it doesn’t work as one. Or “Rise of Red”. Seriously, why is it called that?
Part 1: Cool Spot
The story begins by introducing our villain, the Shadow Overlord, and the reveal that the Evil Gamer had been working for him all along (or something). An artifact is mentioned that could release him from this prison (hmmm), and they realize that the Irate Gamer is a threat to them (somehow). Evil Gamer mentions his “trolls” have been useless (yeah yeah, this has been discussed to death…) and then they discuss their plan of stealing IG’s “spehcul” Magnavox Odyssey.
Throughout the episode we get “shenanigans” as Evil Gamer tries to steal the Odyssey, random appearances from Mortal Kombat villain Goro (who is apparently IG’s neighbor for some reason… randomness probably) and after tricking him into a free Xbox, Evil Gamer is successful. We also meet Wilson, oh I’m sorry, “Wilkins”. See, Bores is under the belief that by changing his name, he made him an original character. It’s the same logic Sonic fans use on deviantArt. If this is an attempt at avoiding copyright infringement, it doesn’t really work when you have the Kool-Aid Man show up later in the episode (and as a recurring character throughout… just saying)
Evil Gamer returns to base and extracts the HAL 9000 from the Odyssey and into a robot body. This only questions if History of Video Games is a part of the main series or not, and how did IG get the Odyssey back in one of the later HoVG videos, and does this only count the original version or the George Lucas Remastered version? See, this is what happens when Bores doesn’t think.
Also, IG gets a bunch of 7-Up games for sending in the final screen of Cool Spot to them. He makes it sound like this will go somewhere, but it doesn’t. (According to Shawn, the documentary says he only made this episode because of that joke… I really wish Bores would stop doing that)
Part 2: Robocop
And so we see the other part of Evil Gamers’ plan, make a robot army similar to the HAL-bot, only instead of red eyes, they all have purple eyes. And the lead HAL-bot is called Red for some reason.
Following that, we meet Tony and Wise Sage. Tony reveals he’s a psychopath that beats people up for petty reasons, and Wise Sage is literally the only other actor in this entire fucking “movie” (which says a lot about Bores’ ego and lack of friends). Chris attempts to set up character by revealing they went to high school together, but it doesn’t really mean anything.
Then out of nowhere, R.O.B. the robot appears. Tony reveals he rebuilt and reprogrammed it for… reasons. Despite shooting at IG and Wise Sage, R.O.B. reveals he really is good when an ED-209 also appears out of nowhere to attack IG (there’s a lot of random appearances isn’t there).
Then after the review, the HAL-bots invade the city of… city, and it’s up to IG to stop them! Or rather he just sends R.O.B. to take care of it while he sits on his ass to play more RoboCop games.
Part 3: RoboCop Part 2
As IG plays more terrible RoboCop games, R.O.B. easily disposes of the HAL-bots. Only one laser blast kills them, and they put up zero resistance. There is zero tension or reason to care about this.
Also, Cousin Joey appears. He is pointless to all of this, but Bores claims he’s one of his important characters… I don’t even know.
And with the army taken out, R.O.B. returns home. Evil Gamer tries to order him to return, but it refuses and shoots him (but doesn‘t kill him. It can kill a HAL-bot in one shot, but it only singes Evil Gamer like a cartoon). One would think this would set up a possible betrayal, or Evil Gamer forcefully kidnaps R.O.B. for his own use. But no, this shit goes nowhere.
Part 4: Masters of the Universe
The episode opens with IG getting visited by a monk, who delivers him a sword (the Sword of Inferno). This sword somehow inspires IG to play Masters of the Universe games. There is zero mention of the robot army from last time.
Half-way through, IG holds the sword like Prince Adam, somehow knows the magic words, and “powers up”, which somehow makes him better at video games. He also somehow turns R.O.B. into “Battle Bot” (like Battle Cat but no changes at all). None of this matters.
Then the monk returns to his master, the Sage Elder (who we don’t learn the name of until the penultimate episode, yeah great storytelling) who says IG is the chosen one and the only one to defeat the Shadow Overlord. Yaaaay clichés!
Oh and Ronnie shows up in IG’s room for the first time. He appeared in Part 2 but as part of a *sighs* TV show. So… yeah.
Part 5: Silver Surfer
The episode opens on a news report with Kent Brockman (because I refuse to use his actual character name) talking about the robot invasion from two episodes (why it wasn’t addressed last time I don’t know… this movie is all over the place so far). The news report doesn’t really accomplish anything other than Evil Gamer threatening the world and nobody calling the police on them.
The episode also reintroduces the Genie, now played by Bores because he was too lazy to get Brad Harp to reprise the role (he claims he moved away, but knowing how long Bores takes to make videos, he could have easily called him and asked to do a weekend of shooting, making me wonder if they had a falling out)
As IG reaches the final boss of the game (thanks to cheating!), he gets a warning about the Pixel Demon. This scares everyone in his vicinity away, then the monk from last time shows up out of nowhere (again, random appearances) and tells him that the Pixel Demon was a horrifying creature that was locked away in a game that’s impossible to beat (even though people have beaten Silver Surfer before… just saying). So the monk tells him to use the Power of Inferno to, wait, wasn’t it the Sword of Inferno? Turns out the sword is just a small part of his power, as the Power of Inferno can do anything! Like create surfboards out of thin air! This leads to a sequence where IG goes into the game to face the Pixel Demon (according to the documentary, this is the real reason he didn’t do the Silver Surfer review years ago like he promised, though I’m pretty sure that’s a lie). What does the Pixel Demon do? What horrifying powers does it contain that forced it to be locked away in a video game? He stands there… does nothing… while IG throws a Bob-omb at it… Laaaaaaaaaame.
But then it’s shown that the Pixel Demon is still alive when it escapes from the TV. Does this lead up to anything? NOPE!
Side-note: According to Shawn, one of the deleted scenes on the DVD is an alternate take of the “Mega Man shaking his fist at the game” joke. This one has IG tell him “shake harder, boy!” Copying the ending to The Simpsons episode “Lemon of Troy”. … Yeaaaah.
Part 6: X-Men
Despite 5 months between videos, IG claims he’s on a “comic book kick” and looks at X-Men for the NES. During this, the X-Men from the game show up in his room (all played by Bores). Cyclops, Wolverine, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Iceman and Storm.
However, the X-Men aren’t here to help, but rather to make IG look ultra-powerful. When he swats Wolverine away for objecting to being made fun of, the other X-Men crap their pants and start working as his slaves. I am not kidding, when he asks for water, they give him water. Later on he kills Cyclops and Iceman for petty reasons. Our hero everyone!
After that complete botching of great comic book characters, we go to the villain base where we see them making a giant HAL-bot. So we’re back to robots now…
Parts 7, 8, and 9: Die Hard, G.I. Joe, and Star Trek.
Nothing of plot importance happens in these three videos. However, Bores included them on the DVD, thus they’re technically part of his “movie”. According to Shawn, on the documentary he said that these episodes served as a test for his “Power of Inferno”. Did Bores even watch these episodes? The only thing that relates to the story arc is the appearance of R.O.B. There’s no “Power of Inferno”, there’s no Shadow Overlord or Evil Gamer, there’s nothing to remind people that the story is still going. Hell, for a while, people thought he gave up on it.
Part 10: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers SNES
After a year (that’s how long it took between this and the X-Men review), the giant HAL-bot is released. It takes the entire episode to get to the city of… city.
While IG plays MMPR on SNES, his “friends” interrupt him. For… reasons.
Then the giant HAL-bot reaches the city, the monk appears and takes IG to “see his friends.
Oh and the X-Men reappear (somehow alive) only to get crushed and killed by the giant HAL-bot. … yeah…
Part 11: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Genesis
The monk has taken IG to the command center from Power Rangers, where the Sage Elder serves as Zordon. IG’s friends in question are Wise Sage, Tony, Not-Wilson, and Ronnie. Oh there was also a running gag through out the videos where Not-Wilson keeps getting hit with game cartridges. I didn’t mention it before because it wasn’t important but it does addressed here… and means nothing as IG continues to be a jerk.
So in order to stop the giant robot, they need to power the Zords from Power Rangers through IG getting angry at a game (……….). They succeed and begin the fight using stock footage from Power Rangers. Not original, the actual fight footage from Power Rangers. Once again, I don’t think this is satire on Saban re-using Sentai footage, but Bores really is that lazy.
The giant robot proves to be too much and they’re about to lose.
Part 12: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Sega CD
But the Genie shows up again and distracts the giant HAL-bot, that way IG can play another game to power up the Megazord.
And he succeeds, they power up the Megazord and kill the giant HAL-bot, a bunch of various Bores in costumes (and a few cameos) cheer for him and that’s pretty much it. Oh and the remains of the Giant HAL-bot crush the Shadow Overlord. …
Hooooo boy. Where do I begin?
First off, this movie does not follow a proper three-act structure. Hell, the robot army alone would be the climax of a film. But no, it’s just “the beginning”.
The plot is all over the place. It starts up with the robots, ends, then moves on to Pixel Demon, that ends, and finally the giant robot. During all this, IG has no idea the Shadow Overlord even exists. Hell, IG never actually meets the villain. For all he knows, it’s all the work of Evil Gamer. Plus, the Pixel Demon interruption was pointless. Especially when the other villains were still around.
And then you have a good 25 minutes where the plot doesn't move at all. If this really were a movie, you'd get single digits on the Rotten Tomatoes.
Notice how I mentioned the artifact in Part 1. That artifact never gets mentioned again. It was clearly set up that the Shadow Overlord was going to be released, but it never happened. Characters show up out of nowhere and disappear just as fast. The movie’s genre is all over the place. What is it? Science-fiction? Fantasy? Action? What the hell are you?
IG himself is an unlikable shithead, at no point do we want to root for him. Whether he’s yelling at his friends or killing people, one might find themselves rooting for the villains!
And then there’s the Power of Inferno. What are the rules? Powers need rules, otherwise your characters would be boring. What are the limits, the weaknesses, what can defeat it? We don’t get any of these answers. From what it sounds like, the Power of Inferno can do anything.
At first, it looked like it can only be accessed through the sword, much like He-Man. Fine. But then in Silver Surfer he didn’t use the sword at all, and still managed to summon a surfboard. Then in X-Men, he could access it and shoot fireballs, without the sword. Hell, the sword doesn’t even show up again until the finale (and it’s really just the Power Sword from Power Rangers, much like all the other stock footage in that episode). So really, the Power of Inferno just sounds like a lazy excuse to give IG powers without any rhyme or reason.
Going by the documentary he posted on YouTube (which is just a small part of the 20 minute one on the DVD), his intention was to end with the Power Rangers Megazord fight. That was his only plan. It’s clear that everything before that was made up on the spot. And by god does it show.
Despite going for a creative writing degree in college (if his old page on The Dark Chapters is anything to go by), Chris is a terrible writer. His story is loaded with clichés, his characters are either flat or Marty Stus (well, just him really) and he seems to care more for stuffing in special effects than actually telling a story.
He would constantly call it “episodic”, but that’s not what that means. An on-going story is normally referred to as “serialized”, an episodic show is one that can tell a story in one episode (like most crime dramas out there). He often cited Lost, True Blood, Game of Thrones and Dexter as inspirations. He didn’t seem to understand what made these shows work though. They had intrigue, tension, and a cast of MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE! Seriously, the fact Bores plays 99% of the cast is horribly distracting. He tries to justify it by saying it’s “part of the charm”, but there is nothing charming about seeing 6 versions of yourself as the X-Men.
I do wonder if calling this his “movie” was always his intention. Maybe he heard that James Rolfe was making a movie, and when people kept asking if he would do one too, he would say that “Season 4 is my movie” in a sad attempt to appease the fans.
And yet, he would make a different “movie”, Pursuit of the Paranormal. So it seems he cares more for bullshit ghost hunting than he does for the show that actually gave him fans. In the end, Chris Bores will never be a film director, and he should never try to tell a story again. He may have a handful of fans that slobber all of that crap, but people over the age of 11 can see it for what it really is. Garbage.
By the way, has anyone been able to figure out how many story arcs Linkara was able to tell in the time it took Bores just to do this one? Basically, everything from October 2010 to April 2014.