Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Nothing Says Playing Games Like a Strobe Light in Your Face

People, I'm not going to make a new post just because I can. If there's long strings where very little is happening, I wait for it to build up and find a good anchor point to let it all out.
Just so happens that anchor point has been found.

Bores just posted a video where he reviews... lights. LED lights that go around your TV and flash bright colors when you're playing. ... Who the fuck would want this? It's just annoying. Nobody needs bright colors in their face when they're concentrating on a game.
The video shows him playing different games with the lights. Mortal Kombat 9, Lego Batman 2, fucking Skylanders, Diablo III, a Call of Duty game (he claims these lights work best with FPS titles, but that feels wrong) and Super Smash Bros for Wii U (so he has the game, but won't talk about it). Notice how most of the games he looked at he did on Neo. Makes me wonder if GotGame finally stopped sending him free stuff.

He believes the lights operate on sound. ... I don't know, the Call of Duty game had plenty of sound but the lights weren't flashing. He really should have researched how this works instead of... throwing this together at the last minute. Was this a paid endorsement? Legally he has to say so but all his Skylander videos have been paid endorsements and he doesn't say that at all.
I would give an epilepsy warning if you try to watch the video, but the quality is so fucking bad that it shouldn't hurt anyone. 

He also mentions in the video he was dealing with a sickness in the family (say this stuff on Facebook, you have two of them!) and working on History of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Part 7
He posted an image from the upcoming video on one of his Facebooks. It's him wearing a furry mustache and wig... yep, more awful random sketches.

He also opened another website. chrisbores.com
It's exactly the same as his Pursuit of the Non-Existent site. Only a brighter color. Why? Did he just want the Chris Bores URL to himself? It's not like it's a valuable domain name. Also, the site mentions NOTHING about his YouTube career, just his ghost crap. Sounds like he really really really wants to distance himself from the video game stuff. If that were true, then why is he still making History of Snooze? I have no idea what he's doing.
And why does GotGame keep endorsing him? They power all three of his sites. He literally gives you nothing in return! He hasn't made a video for your site since E3! Dump him!

January is almost over and he hasn't said a thing about his "reality TV" appearance. My informant believes he's been scammed, just like Mad Media Labs did with the Irate Gamer Game. By the way, the video about the game? It's set to private. Seems Chris realized it's not a licensing issue, and it is gone forever for being a piece of shit. 

I imagine we'll get History of Bleh in the next couple of weeks...

42 comments:

  1. He loves to bring up the dubious accomplishment of being the 55th most subscribed YouTube channel in 2010.

    2010.

    Five fucking years ago and he has no more noteworthy accomplishments since then (unless you buy into his stories about talking to ghosts for 90 minutes at a time). One kinda funny thing I noticed is this one quote from who is supposedly another ghost hunter:

    “One of my longest sessions with the dead was 10 minutes. With Chris, it seemed like a solid hour.“

    That sounds like a subtle jab at Chris being dull and uninteresting, but I might just be reading into it too much.

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    Replies
    1. That is so blatantly a jab at him, but the key is it's genuinely witty, so Chris hasn't recognized it. The fact that he has actually put this on his site as if it's a ringing endorsement and not an absolute roasting is beyond hysterical.

      Delete
  2. My God! Read the lectures pages on chrisbores.com! This man's ego is too big for this planet:

    http://chrisbores.com/chris-bores-lectures/

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    Replies
    1. “One of my longest sessions with the dead was 10 minutes. With Chris, it seemed like a solid hour.“ – Matt Hladik, Ghost Tour Guide

      Rest of the world agrees...

      Delete
    2. I find all the quotes in the "Here’s What People Have said about Chris:" section hilarious.

      “I am so intrigued. I want to know what spirits are sensitive about!”

      That's a line that any dumbass who did not pass the first grade would say.

      “You sound mathematical in this approach! You’re kind of like Da Vinci.”

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just...priceless...

      Delete
    3. Yeah, it's stuff like that that proves he clearly made all of those up, save for maybe the whole talking to ghosts for an hour thing...

      Delete
  3. I definitely wouldn't want to play video games with LED lights around my TV screen and they flash while I play. It would just make my eyes sore.

    Whatever product Bores is trying to promote in the video is a failed invention.

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  4. I can't imagine what the people of Shark Tank (or Dragon's Den if you live outside of the US) would think if Chris Bores tried to pitch those LED lights for a lot of money... they'd laugh him out of the building!

    Also first entry of 2015! Yay! :D

    Seems like Bores is never going to make any videos for a long while, is he? I bet HOVG Part 7 is coming out in a couple years rather than a couple weeks...

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    Replies
    1. If Chris Bores tried to pitch them water during a drought they'd laugh him out of the building.

      Delete
  5. Everyone check out Chris Bores's latest tweet about the new Ghostbusters movie and check out the replies.

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    1. "Just found out there is an all girl cast for the new Ghostbusters movie. Heading to a rooftop now to jump off of."

      What a fucking moron, considering he bad-mouthed JewWario for committing suicide a year ago. (And I bet you he's NEVER going to apologize anytime soon.)

      Delete
    2. Chris clearly lacks tact.
      He also comes off as sexist in his comments. "Wah women in my Ghostbusters, it's ruined!"

      Let's be honest, it doesn't matter who they're going to cast, the movie is going to suck either way.

      Delete
    3. Well...no you're right. Why have people been trying to make pointless continuations for classic movies so much over these past couple years. Dumb and Dumber did it, Wizard of Oz did it, Three Stooges (technically not a film, but still classic) did it, and now Ghostbusters and Jurassic Park are doing it. Although I do have some hope for Jurassic Park. I mean, Chris Pratt and the Raptor bike gang. Damn, son.

      Delete
    4. @BatDanKnight
      Another thing to add to my laundry list of reasons why I hate Bores.

      Delete
    5. That info has already been out for half a year now. You're late for the party again, Bores.

      And seriously, no one gives a shit that the next Ghostbusters movie will have an all female cast so why are you taking it so seriously?

      Delete
    6. I just hope the script is good, since these are some good actresses. Heck, I didn't even find Ghostbusters II as bad as others said. I just can't say no to a movie where the Statue of Liberty becomes a mecha piloted with a Nintendo controller.

      Delete
    7. I wasn't a big enough fan on ghostbusters but I give my condolences to those that are.

      It's sort of how Terminator X the next Terminator enemy was a woman but at least that was a villain. Media has a propensity not to cast women as villains.

      Delete
  6. There's a clear difference between reboots and sequels though. Ghostbusters is a reboot and those are even more likely to suck than sequels.

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    Replies
    1. Well they're still trying to make money with the Ghostbusters name.

      Delete
  7. Alright batdans back bro I am your biggest fan i love this site so much it freaking hilarious 😂

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  8. I can't wait to see your next post man

    ReplyDelete
  9. Who do you think is more obnoxious, markiplier or pewdiepie?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pewdiepie, at least Markiplier doesn't make rape jokes.

      Delete
    2. Makiplier is still pretty obnoxious.

      Delete
    3. Pewdiepie is obnoxious. Markiplier is tolerable and hilarious.

      Delete
  10. Chris Bores sinks to a new low yet again with the chrisbores.com url. Does his stupidity know no bounds?

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  11. So BatDanNight, do you have Steam, because I would like to friend you. Also, please read my comment on your YouTube discussion page to help me determine whether the Irate Douche Bag has blocked me or not.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's kind of a shame Dan stopped doing those Redux Recaps. I can see why he stopped doing them, but still, it was neat seeing him update his older recaps (Which haven't held up well).

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    Replies
    1. I agree. I was looking forward to seeing him do a Redux Recap of Boring Man's Home Improvement SNES review. By the way, the Home Improvement game isn't THAT bad if you give it a chance, especially when you can patch the rom with this helpful little ditty:

      http://hg101.proboards.com/post/254938

      Delete
  13. I think this is a solid approximation of Boring Man now: nothing but flashing lights and toys. I find this odd, given how he's complained about motion sickness in the past (ignoring the warnings that come standard on most games nowadays); and now he's promoting something that's almost invoking Electric Soldier Porygon. Guess we'll see how HOVG Part 7 goes while I wait for some of my anticipated games of this year (such as Zelda U; which looks quite impressive, Chris). See you around, Dan.

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    Replies
    1. Ooh, you're right. I forgot all about Bores cries of "motion sickness" until you brought that up. If he's reviewing those lights, doesn't that make him a hypocrite?

      Delete
    2. If he gets paid, he can overcome any weakness. Pretty sick, actually. Who wants to help me trash him on Twitter and give him shit about the JewWario comment? After his Ghostbusters tweet, someone has to do something for Justin and his friends and family.

      Delete
    3. Regarding that, I shall simply say this to "there's not that many of us left." No, Chris. There's not that many of YOU left.

      Delete
  14. Hey guys, just want to say I've recently beat Tales of Xillia 2.

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    Replies
    1. Yup! I look forward to Tales of Zestiria. :) (I know the Japanese version is out now but I'm waiting for the English version.)

      Delete
  15. IGSRJ has a new video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxhU_wYpcDA

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  16. 1. There's a video game equivalent to those strobe lights that you see at dance clubs?

    2. Didn't Bores say FPS games give him vertigo?

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  17. Actual on twitter he did talked about his sick family member.

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  18. Watch Bores' gameplay footage of Smash Bros. for Wii U in that video, my god does he look awful at it. Spamming grabs when no one's even near him, and no smash attacks except for one at the very end.

    Then again, after seeing the footage of Bores playing MvC3, it's no wonder he's bad at another fighting game.

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  19. "HOV 7 is almost finished," Bores teases on Facebook!

    And posted a screenshot of himself inside Midway's "Clowns." How long is this video (about the arcade games of 1978) that he has time to cover Breakout ripoffs?

    ReplyDelete