Friday, May 8, 2015

We're Stuck in a Limbless Time Loop!

Last week gave us a pitiful Punch-Out playthrough (P is such a fun letter for alliteration) and an absolutely terrible Smash Bros Wii U review. What will we see this week?!

Monday is a Skylanders video. … Yep.
This one going over the newest wave in Trap Team. I do not care at all.
There is one thing to point out though.
In the video, Bores refers to Spotlight, a female dragon, as “he”. When called out on it, Chris, under his “Linda” disguise claims that he “couldn’t tell as she didn’t have breasts”. Hoo boy…
Chris, and it’s obviously him and not “Linda” because even she couldn’t be THIS stupid, there are a multitude of ways to identify a woman. Eyes, hair, arms, legs, hips, waist, body type in general, movement, size (women tend to be shorter than men), speech, all these are just as important as breasts.
In fact, here’s Spotlight at the Skylanders Wiki. Those eyes say “I’m a girl”. If Bores was really confused, he could have easily booted up Trap Team and placed her in the game. Girl voice. Unless part of his Activision deal is that he can’t actually use them in the game until a certain date… but that doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Also, looking at the Female Skylanders there are other quadruped Skylanders that don’t have breasts.
There’s Cynder (also from the Legend of Spyro Trilogy prior to the Skylanders takeover)
Flashwing
Echo
Just to name a few.
This wouldn’t be the first time he confused a Skylander’s gender. In that really short stop-motion video he did, he gave a female Skylander a male voice. Not to mention believing that the Reapers in Kid Icarus are women. This raises way too many questions.

I am surprised May 4th didn’t give us a Star Wars video. Especially since a lot of people did and Bores is a major bandwagon jumper now.

Wednesday is… another Skylanders video.
This one has Bores speculating about the next game in the series. I couldn’t give any possible fucks.
Actually, I do find it interesting that it’s May and we don’t even have a title for the next game. Activision running behind schedule? We already know about the next CoD (or “We’re ripping off Deus Ex: Human Revolution now!”)

Friday is an IG Neo on Rayman Legends. Hold on, didn’t he already review this game?

He did! Back in 2013. My recap here: http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2013/09/no-arms-and-legs-thats-rayman-no-effort.html
Are you that low on material that you’re re-reviewing games now? Goes to show that his “three videos a week” schedule was a big mistake.
Perhaps there’s more to it though. Legends did come out on PS4 and Xbox One after his original review, maybe it’s one of those versions. He doesn’t specify in the title or description. Perhaps it’s a well-thought out analytical review that goes deep into the mechanics and lev- Pffffft hahahahaha, oh god I couldn’t finish that. The video is only four minutes long, none of that is going to be here.

I’m not going to bother timing this. If Bores isn’t going to try, why should I?

Once again, he is recording the TV with his camera. A major step backwards when the previous review used direct capture. So yeah, anyone that says he’s improving is LYING!
He does not mention that he already reviewed this game. I get the feeling he forgot.

He likes that there’s a lot of characters (he likes lots of characters because he can make lists and not have to do actual reviewing). He lists Sir Rayelot, “the blob” (he means Globox), the Teensy (can‘t tell which one as his quality is awful), and he gets to Barbara and says “there are some female girls you can play as” … Female girls. As opposed to what? This reminds me of one his Haunted Investigators videos where he said the ghosts were “female women”. Does Bores not understand that only one of those words is okay? You don’t need to say both.
He says Sir Rayelot is one of his favorites as he has “cool attacks”. THEY’RE BASICALLY ALL THE SAME! You run, punch, and jump!

There’s lots of levels, you go into them by jumping into a painting (like Super Mario 64 right? No mention of that?), says they’re all cool as they’re all “different”
He reveals he’s playing on the Wii U version (so it’s the same version he reviewed two years ago… why the camera now? Oh right, lazy) and mentions the Murfy levels that require the Game Pad. I’m curious, are these levels on the Vita or PS4 version since they have a touchpad?
He likes the multiplayer… once again without showing any multiplayer. Another reason he fails, he brings up multiplayer without actually showing it. He’s done this way too many times now.

He cuts to another level, mentions that you have to find 10 Teensies (not by name even though he said Teensy earlier). “Some are easy and some are hard” REALLY NOW?!
Cuts to another level… then another… he’s just describing what you do in the level. No thought.
“And in this level” “And in this level” “And in this level” What the hell is this?

He says there’s “another game”. He’s actually referring to the “Back to Origins” levels. Once again, he mispronounces Origins.
“So many levels and……  experiences” THIS IS WHY YOU SCRIPT YOURSELF!

“And that’s why it’s one of my favorite games” Because it has levels? You don’t even go into what makes the game great. You just say that each level is different and don’t explain why that’s a good thing. How it effects the controls or pacing of the game.

What was this?
I think I know. This is something a 9 year old would make. A kid that doesn’t know much about reviews, he sets his camera up and just plays random levels while going “this level is cool… I like this part… this is cool too”. Chris has officially regressed to the level of a grade schooler! This is a man that supposedly went to college for “creative writing” and “video editing”. There is somehow less effort in the Neo reviews now than before. I didn’t even think it was possible!
And no, he never mentions that he already reviewed this game. Yeah I still stand by that he likely forgot he did. How hard is it? Just look in your playlists.

That’s it… see you next week. Gonna play some Splatoon demo.

103 comments:

  1. I didn't bother to watch any of Bores' videos this week, preferring to wait until your recap, BatDan! After reading it, turns out I wasn't missing anything relevant...aside from his confusion over the gender of a Skylanders figure. I don't know if that last point is pathetic or just plain sad.
    Also, reviewing the Wii U version of Rayman Legends again after just reviewing it a year and a half ago? Is his memory really that bad? Not to mention, just from your recap, it sounds terrible and inferior compared to his original video.
    You know, I actually gave Bores praise about 2-3 months ago, what with both bringing back the regular Irate Gamer episodes and releasing a video every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Now, I'm starting to wonder if I was wrong for doing so. While it's good that he's releasing frequent content, I don't think his fans care much for subjects like Let Play's, comic book reviews, or how he sets up his green screen.
    It makes me wonder how long he can continue this "3 videos a week" schedule, especially since it seems like he's getting worse as time goes on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Skylanders 5 speculations . The devil with Batman Arkham Knight, Star Wars Battlefront, Yoshi Woolly World, Guitar Hero Live, Rock Band 4; and countless others . That's where the real heavy hitters are: Skylanders! Dan, I dread more of these masturbatory videos as much as you. Well, time to further enjoy my day off. Tomorrow : Ultron for the second time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know, for a guy who says the PS4 and Xbox One are the better consoles to get right now, Bores reviews a LOT of Wii U games. Maybe he's just waiting for GotGame to spoil him again. Seems unlikely, as the PS4 is crushing Xbox One, so we can all expect that $400 price tag for a quite a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I said "seems unlikely," I meant it seems unlikely that GotGame will give him a PS4 or Xbox One.

      Delete
    2. And both the PS4 and Xbox One are crushing the Wii U to smithereens at this point... like back in the early 90s when the SNES and Genesis crushed the TurboGrafx-16.

      Delete
    3. Well, they're crushing it in SALES. But games, that's another story.

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  4. I gotta ask again, Is he doing this on purpose to piss us off?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Someone I follow on YouTube made a video response to Bores:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY3nhBip324

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxLRR375epI


    Also, lasersquad has completed a new article on Archfiend and his Full Disclosure video:

    https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/jamie-aka-archfiends-biggest-problem-the-ethos-dilemna/


    And on an unrelated note, is anyone else excited about the new Muppet show coming to ABC? Kinda funny that it gets green-lit almost exactly 25 years after Jim Henson's death.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't wait for the new Muppet Show. I just hope ABC does the original show justice.

      and I have no respect for the Assfiend either.

      Delete
    2. As a die-hard fan of the Muppets (and Jim Henson in general) I'm looking forward to it. :D

      Hope people realize that the Henson Company isn't limited to just little kids stuff. Especially with something like this:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St38eANVB_I

      Though I hope the Disney Muppets don't go THAT route. :D

      Delete
  6. You can never in an argument with "Linda" because "she" refuses to acknowledge that "she" lost the argument.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm flattered that you referenced my comment on that thread (no sarcasm intended). Also, good to see you here.

      Delete
  7. "Linda" reminds me of Amy Bouzaglo from Amy's Baking Company everyday. Both of them are equally insane, don't accept criticism, think they're superior in every way and worst of all, respond to 'haters' and 'trolls' in the most idiotic ways.

    Also, regarding Call of Duty: Black Ops 3, yeah they are blatantly ripping off Human Revolution. I bet Deus Ex: Mankind Divided will throw in an easter egg that will make fun of the Call of Duty franchise for ripping off their storyline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a great episode of Kitchen Nightmares

      Delete
    2. That episode was a spectacle.

      What makes me hate Amy and Samy even more was after Ramsay left, they call him a 'clown' in a news interview even though they themselves are the ones who asked for his help in the first place. And when Ramsay was sued by a customer, Amy call him out 'that's karma for you!'

      Amy and Samy are fucking whores. It goes to show how petty they are against Ramsay. The same way Bores does to Rolfe. Fuck those two assholes.

      Delete
    3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H__YZ6DMmGE

      Delete
    4. Surprisingly, Amy's has gotten a fair amount of good reviews on Yelp:

      http://www.yelp.com/biz/amys-baking-company-scottsdale

      Delete
    5. How many of those reviews do you want to bet are faked?

      Delete
    6. @ MacDragard

      BWAHAHAHAHAHA Samy got owned by Dr Phil. Love the reaction he got from Phil. And oh God, Amy made the absolue stupidest response to why Samy yelled at the customers, again showing how idiotic she really is. Does Yelp ever send actors to humiliate other restaurants? Ridiculous.

      @ John Pannozzi

      No John. Don't believe most of the positive reviews. Many of them look very fake. I suspect most of them are sockpuppet accounts by Amy and Samy. Sounds familiar to a certain paranormal investigator...

      Delete
  8. Splatoon does seem pretty fun...from what I got to play of it. I kinda wish Nintendo had a more readily available demo instead of three specific sessions that are only an hour long each and at times that a lot of people are probably busy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just played the last demo session, and I've noticed that your whole team is almost certainly screwed if even one person on it doesn't know what they're doing. Ironically, Splatoon actually appears to be LESS casual than most other competitive shooters as a result. It's definitely fun, though, and I'd pick it over Black Ops 3 any day.

      Delete
  9. *Headdesk* *Headdesk* *Headdesk*
    DRAGONS AREN'T MAMMALS! They don't have fucking breasts!

    Fuck you, Bores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should headdesk yourself

      C'mon now, this is just a moronic nitpick. Dragons aren't even real.

      Arcee is a transformer with breasts.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. You are the moronic one here. Dragons lay eggs, unless you're telling me they're platypus with wings, they're not mammals.

      And Bores' remark sounds sexist as hell too, "ALL GURLS HAZ BOOBIEZ!!111"

      Delete
  10. My Skylanders 5 speculations: There will be a new gimmick so Activision can sell even more expensive toys and accessories, there will be a new portal for some reason, and even more gimmicks.

    There was a brief time where I actually played Skylanders (though I only ever had the ones that came with the game), but I quickly moved on to other games. I prefer amiibo now because they actually work with more than one game, they are not mandatory for the games, and I don't need as many accessories.

    P.S. I think I'll wait until the full game comes out to get Splatoon. It's the first FPS I'm genuinely excited for!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Correction: Splatoon is a Third Person Shooter. :)

      Delete
  11. In the Skylanders universe male dragons have teeth, while the female dragons do not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't recall if that was the case in the original Spyro franchise as well. Still, you'd think that if Chris was such a huge fan of Skylanders, he'd have picked up on that by now,

      Delete
  12. Man, you sure do write a lot about the Irate Gamer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gee, Sherlock, whatever gave you that idea?

      Read. The. Title. Of this blog. Dumbass.

      Delete
  13. It's because the blog is called irate gamer sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  14. kwing,
    octaneblue
    alphaomegasin
    and myself are way more skylanders fans than that phony video game player, heck I'm trying to get all the hats and legendary treasure, I'm just having an hard time tracking down the adventure packs of mirror of mystery, dark museum and light adventure pack

    ReplyDelete
  15. kwing,
    octaneblue
    alphaomegasin
    and myself are way more skylanders fans than that phony video game player, heck I'm trying to get all the hats and legendary treasure, I'm just having an hard time tracking down the adventure packs of mirror of mystery, dark museum and light adventure pack

    ReplyDelete
  16. In the latest Irate Gamer video, Bores promises his fans videos that he says will come soon, but will actually come out in at 6 months from now.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow you sure do NITPICK every single thing.

      You also have terrible interpretations...just saying kids, you instantly think = his? Wow

      Doesn't sound like you'd be any better as a father either.


      I'm all for criticizing Bores, but you seem borderline obsessed with him.

      Delete
    2. I'm only mentioning it since he's saying it to garner sympathy that only his dumb fans will buy. Also, if you don't like what you find on the blog, why read it?

      Delete
    3. The problem is you're nitpicking the hell out of his personal life, and it's something you've been doing for a while now. If he hasn't apologized for the JewWario comment by now, he's not going to, so get over it. He didn't and shouldn't disclose the nature of his father's illness because his father deserves a modicum of privacy, and the satisfaction of one person's skepticism doesn't outweigh that. Hell, you even accused him of making up a friend who died! And then you call him a despicable piece of human shit when you've never even met him. He's done some disagreeable stuff and his videos are consistently garbage, but villifying him in his personal life is one step too far.

      You can trash his professional output all you want (as Dan does), but this personal vendetta you seem to have against him just looks unhealthy.

      Delete
    4. Keith, you are being sanctimonious, are you "misguided" like so many others trying to silence us?

      Delete
    5. I think Keith has a point. We really don't have any proof that he made up his dead friend or dying father.

      Delete
    6. But Chris is also wrong for bringing these things up, if they are actually happening, and not giving his viewers the explanation that such heavy matters should deserve. Also, I firmly hold the belief that people shouldn't just lay their troubles on others unless it's demonstrable that they are willing to listen.

      Delete
    7. I agree with that too. Even if it's not made up, it does seem like he's fishing for sympathy.

      Delete
    8. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    9. And that combined with the oh-so-great care he has taken with talking about the dead in the past is what brings the doubt in me. But you're right, we don't have proof. Besides, I apologized to BatDan for saying that Chris made his father and his friend up.

      Delete
    10. You guys sound like paparazzi. Just as much as Chris may be fishing for sympathy you guys are in the same boat fishing as much to add more to talk shit.

      Just stick to his shitty videos/lack of research/stupidity.

      @brandon...now I don't follow chris as close as some of you others apparently do...but "casually" mentioning his dad's sickness, friend dying is laying his troubles on others now? Why should he put his business out there?

      Delete
    11. That's the thing though, he shouldn't put his business out there if he won't bother to explain it with the gravitas that it's due. He could just as easily have alluded to these things without using any definite terms whatsoever. The main reason they don't belong in his videos is because it's a real downer to hear about that stuff, especially when we're meant to enjoy what he's doing in the video. If he really wants to talk about that stuff, he should do it in a separate video(s), not in his regular content.

      Delete
  18. Update video today. His schedule changes 5 months in, Tuesdays now and "sometimes Fridays ". Also, Odyssey 2 HOVG. It's the biggest laugh of all that he claims it will be "funny " and he's been "working tirelessly ". He's also teasing summer movies (Ultron isn't big enough how?), so there's that .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wednesday is still the same. Also, Bob-omb shirt, because games .

      Delete
  19. LadyBuggin got into quite the insulting spree with me when all I said was that he had reviewed the game already. Was quite the experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What did see say? I can't see your conversation.

      Delete
    2. I go by LetterRak on youtube, so look for that and you can see the lovely chat we had.

      Delete
    3. Where was your conversation held? I didn't see in the comments for IG's recent Rayman Legends review.

      Delete
    4. Yeah someone else had trouble seeing it too. I have no idea why that is. If you sort by newest first I'm about halfway in. When I go by top comments I'm at the top though, so I dunno. If you still can't find it, I can copy paste it into here.

      Delete
    5. He might have blocked your account which explains why only you're able to see it and not others.

      Delete
    6. Makes sense. Considering the fact I didn't even insult anyone and was polite the whole conversation, thats a bit overkill lol. Maybe it's cause I was getting a lot of likes.

      Delete
    7. Maybe, but Bores can't stand criticism of any kind anyway.

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    8. True enough, and considering all the insults 'LadyBuggin' threw at me for using proper grammar and being polite despite the fact I shouldn't be surprised. Accused me of crying when I brought up the fact they were being rude to me for no reason. Lol

      Delete
    9. If you'd like to share the comments anyway, you can screencap them for us. As a bonus, if you have been blocked, cap that too.

      Delete
    10. https://twitter.com/MikSacred/status/598975151309398016

      Link to my tweet where I'm capped the comments off the video. I hope everyone who checks them out can enjoy it lol. Don't think I've been blocked as of yet. Haven't bothered to check.

      Delete
  20. What's the difference between blue screen and green screen functionality-wise? Sorry, dumb question I know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bve4cjHhnyU

      This video explains it fairly well.

      Delete
  21. The Wednesday video's up. This time, he's reviewing a tabletop RPG.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqZEWPSW5zk

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    Replies
    1. Ironic he's promoting this after that ebegging spoof, given the method the game is funded with in the description .

      Delete
    2. Bores doesn't give a shit if he looks hypocritical, as long as he gets money, he'll do anything. Refer to the God awful Tekken 6 review for supporting evidence.

      Delete
  22. New video - I only got 2 minutes in before shutting it off. Way too boring.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I tried watching the video... got bored and tuned it off. I'll bring up some things I noticed in the next post.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Someone did a parody dub of Bores's Back to the Past:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5p-UblUHZY

    ReplyDelete
  25. New Nerd video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3cewR_sMYI

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A 16-Bit Darkwing Duck game would have been really awesome if done right. The NES version by Capcom was one of my favorite games.

      Delete
    2. Speaking of 16-bit DWD, I think it came out on the Genesis and SNES as well, IINM.

      *checks*
      I am mistaken-- there was no Genesis or SNES version of Darkwing Duck. :-( There was a version on Game Boy, though. (Which thankfully plays more like the NES game.)

      Delete
    3. There was one on the Turbo Graphix 16. I heard it was really bad, though.

      Delete
    4. ...that's what he was reviewing

      Delete
    5. Who wants to bet that Bores will review a Darkwing Duck game (possibly the exact same one James just reviewed), say he's doing it because he did DuckTales (even though it's really because of James), get shit for it on the Internet, and then make another 39-minute video where he lies about how James was the one who copied him?

      Delete
    6. I don't know if Bores even has a Turbografix. If anything, he'll do the NES version.

      Delete
    7. I didn't even see the video before commenting. My bad.

      I heard about how bad this game was from the Turbo Views YouTube channel, IIRC.

      There was also a TaleSpin game for the TG16, and I've heard it was also really bad.

      Here's the Turbo Views DWD review:

      http://youtu.be/GwtFayPg5hg


      Here's the TaleSpin Turbo Views review:

      http://youtu.be/kQQ5Ci2ZdxQ

      Here's someone else's TaleSpin TG16 review, to give a bit more depth:

      http://youtu.be/JIOrO0wfvkg

      And lastly, for good measure, here's the Turbo Views review of the TG16 Addams Family game:

      http://youtu.be/iE19cnitNc0

      Delete
  26. I bitched about the Peabody and Sherman movie before. But nothing has ever raped my childhood more than this trailer. Warning: It's fucking awful.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaPgK073xEg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good lord...

      And having watched the original show on the Hub and the old USA Cartoon Express, I understand how pissed you are. :D

      Delete
    2. I haven't seen the show, but I can already tell that this movie will be an uninspired, generic piece of shit.

      Delete
    3. Are they trying to relaunch the franchise? That's the only way this movie would make any sense, seeing that most people under the age of 30 don't remember it, and now they're making it all current, hip and cool for today's teen crowd.

      Delete
    4. Can you believe that Jon M. Chu put production of the third GI Joe movie on hold so that he can direct this instead?

      Delete
    5. Well, to be fair, a superhero pop star would be pretty out there.

      Delete
  27. Oh yay, Bores has jumped in on the tabletop bandwagon. While at least Angry Joe and Gametrailers make things interesting by actually playing the game with someone else and/or playing as a group, Bores is playing...with himself. Couldn't he play the game with friends that he has? Like Eric Allen? Or his girlfriend's kids? Oh wait, they only play Skylanders. His mom? Oh wait, she's too busy insulting people to care about anyone else around her in real life. Asalieri or Archfiend? NAH! They're too busy bitching, ranting and caring about themselves on Youtube to care about Bores.

    I didn't watch the entire video. Just three minutes in and I stopped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, if Bores did play with LadyBuggin777, he'd just be playing with himself.

      Delete
    2. Beer and Board Games from Blame Society is the best.

      Delete
  28. BTW, the Shadow People have a new Resurrection Files episode up (at long last!), after 7-8 months of delays:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9DGgQv1zXM

    ReplyDelete
  29. Bonus video today. Bragging about how he found Marth and Ike Amiibo at GameStop.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct7_BGoM-1g

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's now doing car webcam videos.

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    2. Fuck him. Just fuck him for this shit.

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    3. Especially since all of the Ikes in my area are on hold for preorders.

      Delete
  30. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDOZbvE01Fk This is hilarious. Maisie Williams (aka Arya Stark) plays NES.

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  31. Hey, I have a question. Considering the sociopathy of Camp Omega in MGS:GZ, why aren’t Paz and Chico hooded? The other prisoners are hooded. And don’t give me that bullcrap that they couldn’t do it to a girl and a little kid, the guards drilled screws into their feet like anybody else, puts their prisoners in cages (while their prisoners are hooded), would leave their prisoners hooded for an entire month just because they felt like it and would pour water on a hooded prisoner’s face and shoot him for trying to run away despite the fact that he either can’t or can barely see through that bag on his head. THOSE are worse forms of torture than having a black bag over your head.

    Yes, I know it was a trap, but Paz wasn’t even in a cage. She’s just locked inside a room. There’s no reason why she wouldn’t be hooded. Also, why doesn’t Big Boss remove the prisoners’ hoods when he rescues them?

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Odyssey 2 HOVG is here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOwYQNcFAHs

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    Replies
    1. Drinking game conditions maxed at 2 minutes on the nose. Oh dear, we are in trouble .

      Delete
    2. While I agree with him that golf is a super boring sport to watch and to play, did he really need to make a 30+ second skit about it?

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    3. And then top it off with a penis joke...

      Delete
    4. James and Mike, Gamester81, and ClassicGameRoom all did FAR better reviews of the Odyssey 2 than Boring Man could ever do.

      Delete