Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Who Needs Integrity? Let's Keep Selling Out!

I thought semi-retirement meant he would stop making awful videos like these?

Out of nowhere, Bores posted two videos in the last two days. Both very low quality as per usual. But that's what happens when you no longer care about your image and find selling out to be a much easier venture. Maybe you should be taking real offers and not spam from Chinese companies?

First video is a "MASSIVE" tech review, in that he looks at eight products. All of them terrible! Of course, the review is just a lot of "this is really cool" on top of very basic descriptions. Nothing stands out. Well, at the end he plays some random music and claims it's from Final Fantasy VII. ... I have never heard that song in the game. Unless it's a remix that he has on his phone for some reason, but I can't tell what song that is.
Oh and guess what? It's a contest video! It's the same shit. Write "Pick Me" in the comments box "blow" and you'll be randomly selected. What a sham.
Who are you trying to appeal to Chris? Nobody likes these videos. Well, except this one since you're giving away free shit and suddenly people come out in droves to get a little something. If you wrote "Pick Me", you need to take a step back and find better headphones or lights or whatever crap he's trying to hock onto you.

The second is for an app called "Busker Boss". The hell is a busker? *searches* Oh, street performers. The game itself looks very boring. You just tap shit. There is no gameplay. It's not like Yo-Kai Watch Wibble Wobble where there's actual thinking involved. There is nothing here.
Apparently if Chris had a band, it would be called "The Chris Tones". Ego much?
"... you tap the people and then you lynch them for all their money." ... Very poor choice of words Chris. Do you not know what that means?
Bland descriptions of what you do, and he claims there are other minigames but all he showed was the tapping. Did someone really pay him to do this? Who could be so desperate?
Thankfully, the fans hate this one. Dislikes taking over (make sure to save both these videos as per usual).

Tone it down Chris. Even Metallica is saying you're selling out too much. *thinks* Is that joke too dated?

50 comments:

  1. Chris Bores was a game reviewer, and then he was a toy reviewer, but now Chris Bores is...AN APP REVIEWER! And he's about to find out that being an app reviewer (shows dislikes and poor views) is harder than it looks! Chris Bores is The App Reviewer! Rated PG-13

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Eggman: This movie is not recommended for people under or over 13. It is also not recommended for 13 year olds.
      ^-^

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  2. i bet he deletes it by end of may

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  3. What about Metallica and selling out?

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    1. A lot of fans seem to say that they "sold out" in the mid to late 90s, with the albums Load and Reload. They were filled with more radio-friendly rock (with a country-ish vibe mixed in), as opposed to their earlier thrash metal days. The fact that they all cut their hair for the MTV crowd didn't help either.

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  4. He doesn't tell us whether the app is any good... or what it costs. If anything.

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  5. On an unrealated note, Disney Infinity has just been discontinued. I don't care much for the series myself, but I feel bad for the fans. The developers of the games all got laid off as well. :(

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    1. Wait...it's actually dead? How the fuck is that possible? It consists of Disney, Marvel AND Star Wars. It's like and endless money-making machine.

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    2. Wow, that really is a shame. At least the figures for Disney Infinity look very appealing and the games weren't moneygrabbers and franchise-milkers like Skylanders. So yeah, it's really sad that Disney Infinity is discontinuing.

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    3. At least Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck were lucky to make it into the game as playable characters. Poor Goofy never stood a chance.

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    4. Wow. I never thought they would do that. Okay they probably would but after a decade or two but nope. Especially considering the fact that it hasn't even been three years since it came out.

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    5. The loss of jobs is lamentable as usual.
      But now I expect the prices for second hand market Infinity figures to skyrocket.
      And about cancelling the game, I can't honestly blame Disney, the market for similar games is saturated at this point... but closing the studio was truly cold.

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    6. Shame. Guess I should have seen this coming, even with how erratic the whole toys to life craze has been in my area. I can see Skylanders going out the same way, no matter how long Chris is in bed with Bobby Kotick.

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  6. Wow, Busker Boss looks like a horrible game. It's just tapping on the phone and that's it. No real strategy in its gameplay at all. And the game doesn't look appealing either.

    At least Criminal Case has a storyline, great-looking visuals and fun minigames and Dumb Ways to Die has very challenging gameplay.

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    1. Just reading of Busker Boss makes me think of the gameplay in Rhythm Heaven...only that game has great music, wacky shenanigans and gameplay involving actual rhythm (seriously, I love that series). I don't see what Busker Boss does with the tapping. Does it even involve rhythm?
      -_-

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  7. So, what do you guys think of the new starters for Sun and Moon?

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    Replies
    1. I think Rowlet looks adorable.

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    2. Very nice, can't wait for November. The Japanese trailer straight up brought me to tears of joy, no lie.

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  8. If he had a band, it'd be called the Bores. It suits him, actually.

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    Replies
    1. How about a punk band called the Crashing Bores?

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  9. Same old shit from Bores. on a completely unrelated matter, I'm looking forward to competing in my very first Splatfest this Friday. I just started playing Splatoon last week (and I had the game since Christmas. strange isn't it?), and I'm already at level 14.

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    1. What's the theme? I'll have to hook up my Wii U and join (only game I have that I can't use only the Gamepad with).

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  10. I'm surprised that this game hasn't gotten as big as Cookie Clickers (or, at least as big as it was when it first came out). It's pretty much the same thing. Nothing but tapping the screen. To this day, I still have no idea why Cookie Clickers became a thing. No, it's not addictive, it's dull.

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  11. When it comes to Internet Marketing and scamming people, I'm glad that Chris is very mild in comparison. I'm sure he's been scammed far more than he has scammed other people though. I've fallen for a lot of scams in the past unfortunately. There's scams that even a brain dead idiot won't fall for like the Nigerian email scams, but there are some very elaborate, legit-sounding scams that play to your insecurities as well.

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  12. Do you even think Bores will be at E3 this year? Between only 2 game reviews ALL year and no talk about anything modern, I think his time going to E3, and with Gotgame, has come a conclusion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't go last year, so I'd be shocked if he goes this year.

      Delete
  13. Hey, guys! A little off topic, but the trailer for the new Phoenix Wright game has just come out. Any toughts on it?

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    Replies
    1. There's a lot for this AA fan to be happy about. But then again, this is modern Capcom, which is still one of the worst (Japanese) game companies out there, even if Konami has become that poster child.

      Still incredibly pissed that it's digital only like Dual Destinies in the West. Still bought and played it when it came out, but it (and lack of AAI2) ruined my physical collection. Thank god for Gateway tho, someone even managed to get DD into a .3ds so I could at least have it on a micro-SD, the Red Card is in a homemade DD 3DS box, next to the AAI2 fanslation that's on the Blue Card. Guess that SoJ will have to share the same box (which is a shame since I found a really nice fan-made boxart sleeve).

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  14. OT: Who else has seen Civil War? I personally think it's Marvel's best film yet despite being unfamiliar with the comic. Black Panther is an utter badass, and their version of Spider-man is a vast improvement over TASM2. Can't wait for their respective single-hero movies.

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    1. If you enjoyed the movie, then I'd advise against reading the event it was based on.

      There is a talking head that, at the time pretty dead serious, said that Captain America didn't represent America anymore and that people are more into NASCAR and Youtube than what beliefs Steve Rodgers believed in.

      Also, the start of the Spider-Man fiasco which led to the One More Day era.

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  15. Off-topic, but I had to share something funny that happened to me yesterday: I was training an amiibo (Fox) and, as expected, he mopped the floor with me (that amiibo's first victory, too). Thing is, at the time, he had an assist trophy out, though he beat me without its help. And you'll never believe who he summoned!
    ^-^

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  16. Off topic, but in regards to the re-release of Zelda Twilight Princess, I wonder if Nintendo will ever release a Master Quest version. If any Zelda game desperately needs a master quest, it's Twilight Princess.

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    Replies
    1. The Wolf Link Amiibo unlocks a mode like it, I think.

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  17. new video

    "box wars" chris "reviews" lootcrate and the like

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    1. Fuck you Chris for dissing on a great show like Vikings.

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    2. I think he doesn't know Harry Potter were books.

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    3. @ Harrod

      I genuinely laughed when he said that. Chris' mental disabilities are really getting the better of him.

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    4. Chris sounds like a broken radio with someone turning his channel dial.

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    5. At 0:37, am I the only 1 who feels disgusted in the context and attitude Chris took to acknowledge the death of David Bowie?
      It's not as bad as his effort to sell out on Nehmoy's death, but something about how he mentioned it makes me feel he had no care or respect for the man and just cared about, well, selling out.

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    6. It's official Chris has zero respect for the dead.

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  18. Off topic, but what are your guys' thoughts on the Assassin's Creed movie trailer?

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    1. Wasn't sure if I had interest in the movie, but didn't even want to finish the trailer when I heard fuckin' Kanye

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    2. Not a fan of the games, so I'm probably not going to the movie. Warcraft will probably be more likelt for me.

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  19. Wow, it's totally obvious Chris has never seen Labyrinth. They say the word clearly several times in the movie. How on earth do you mispronounce it that badly? I bet Chris hadn't even heard of the movie until after David Bowie's death.

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  20. Hey, that Metallica joke's less dated than Bores' jokes.

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  21. Speaking of Final Fantasy VII, anyone here excited for the HD remake? Also, am I the only one who's surprised Tifa isn't with Cloud in Smash? They go together so well.

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    Replies
    1. You bet. Makes me feel kind of old, but it has me seriously considering getting a PS4 soon.

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    2. I'd like to play it. Loved the original; best FF game on the PS1 despite having N64 graphics.

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