Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Chris Finally Hops on a Bandwagon at the Right Time

Chris has always struggled capitalizing on popular trends. When Let's Plays were becoming big, Chris ignored them. Whenever a big game would come out, Chris would ignore it, or talk about it months later. All this only made it clear Chris does not care about games and never has.
I even addressed this in my last post, pointing out all the FNAF toy videos he made were popular but that he wasn't smart enough to play the newest game. I'm guessing he read that and got insulted because he just posted a "Let's Play" of Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location. On Puppet Steve. If Chris was smart, he would have posted this on the Irate Gamer channel, where he has more subscribers and more people that care about video games.
This also proves Chris can play PC games. Even if this game is one most toasters can run.

But yeah, another Puppet Steve Let's Play, or  rather... whatever this word salad title is:
Five Nights at Freddy's FNAF Sister Location Reaction Gameplay JumpScare Video Puppet Steve
"Jump scare" is two words Chris. 
The video is only 6:17 long so I'm not expecting much.

Steve is at his laptop.
"We're looking at the new Five Nights at Freddy's game, Sister Location, which is the sequel to the original" Right off the bat and we already have some Bores-level stupidity. This is the fifth game in the series Chris, how do you not know that there's multiple FNAF games? Do you think that every animatronic toy you looked at was in the first game? How is it so hard for you to do research?
Zombie Steve scene, he runs away.

We see the game, and in the corner I can see a Steam alert. The standard one that tells you how to access the community while you play. What happened to "I have no reason to be on Steam" which you claimed in your Gauntlet E3 video in 2014? Then again, that was likely a lie as I've heard stories about you using Steam to play Left 4 Dead. Either way, he's on Steam now. I doubt we'll see his username.

Here's a fun game to play. Count how many times he says "alright".
During the intentionally broken "name yourself" part, an Exit Game prompt appears. The hell? The editing also feels weird.
"What an idiot" It's supposed to be broken and call you Eggs Benedict. That's the joke.
 Steve tries to put on a tough guy act and say it's not creepy at all. Don't pull a DSP.

Going through the motions, being boring...
Zaps Balora, zaps Funtime Foxy. He calls Foxy a "he", but apparently this Foxy's gender is unknown as HandUnit calls Foxy "she" but the Angsty Teen voice in Night Two calls Foxy "he". So he could be right.
"Stupid Zombie Steve, this isn't creepy:" What did I say about pulling a DSP?
He beats the first night because obviously it's meant to be the easiest. He continues to pretend this isn't creepy. It kind of is, at least in terms of location. Off the bat you can tell something is wrong. The broken name input, the faulty electricity, Circus Baby not appearing, atmosphere is important Chris.

Wait, he skipped right to Night Two! Come on, aren't you at least going to watch The Immortal and the Restless? Eat some popcorn?
"I'm going to be an angsty puppet here in a minute" Your Irate Gamer side is showing.
Goes through the Night 2 zapping, proceeds to Circus Baby's room. "That guy gives me the creeps" ... Circus Baby is a girl. How can she even give you the creeps when you haven't seen her at this point? Your "riffing" makes no sense.
"Time to shock him" Chris really has trouble with gender doesn't he? 
HandUnit goes offline, and the lights go out. For some reason, the lights dim in the Puppet Steve cutaways. More IG is showing, the game effecting reality somehow.

He does the part where you hide under the desk from the Bidybab. He closes it, but then he doesn't try to keep it closed so the Bidybab quickly jump scares and kills him. When it cuts to Steve reacting, the lights are back on. Nice continuity Chris.
ZS appears with a "told you so" but Steve continues the tough guy act and tries again. He fails again. Then quits. Quitting after two jump scares, you really suck at this Chris.

Not only that, but this video sucks. It's really boring, Chris has no good commentary or jokes. He just points out the obvious and says what's he doing. Holy shit he really is DSP. Chris, why don't you try watching a whole bunch of Let's Plays and see how they do it? The way you're doing it with this and the Lego Dimensions video, you're not going to win fans. You're way too boring. Then again, you are Chris Bores.

46 comments:

  1. The one time I wish Retsupurae could return to riffing bad LPs...

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    1. When did Retsupurae stop riffing bad LPs?

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    2. Long ago. Mostly been Kickstarters and longplays for months since the fandom is too scary and psychotic. And I am a fan of Retsupurae.

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    3. Long ago. Mostly been Kickstarters and longplays for months since the fandom is too scary and psychotic. And I am a fan of Retsupurae.

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  2. Maybe Chris didn't show the Immortal and the Restless because he thought the "baby isn't mine" stuff was not appropriate for kids? Then again, Puppet Steve has already done some pretty inappropriate stuff ("I think he killed himself").

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    1. Probably because he only wants people to laugh at HIS jokes! Anything else that's funny is unthinkable in Crisbo's videos!
      -_-

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  3. Also, I think Chris doesn't even know that the animatronic that keeps showing up on the Sister Location advertisements and posters (and his THUMBNAIL) is Baby. It's the only logical explanation I can think of for why Chris thinks Baby is a guy. How can anyone take one look at Baby and think "That must be a guy?" This isn't like the gender confusion with Chica, where you wouldn't know her gender just by looking at her. Circus Baby was clearly designed to look like a little girl!

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  4. He clearly doesn't care for the Irate Gamer's fans anymore, the toddlers who watch Puppet Steve are where it's at now.

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  5. I don't know why, but Steve's voice in that video made me laugh.

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  6. Replies
    1. It's definitely a pretty cool concept for a next gen console. I mean, a console/portable hybrid? Hell yeah! Though the one thing that I and many other concerned about was the battery life and the overall feel when you play it outside. For the battery it needs to stay much longer to be able to play games on portable mode. And when it comes to its feel when beong played as a portable device, it needs to run just as smoothely as the home console mode.

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    2. Switch seems to lack touchscreen and possibly some other features that have been staples of Nintendo's hardware lineup (motion/cameras?). Which makes sense if Nintendo is looking to reduce power consumption and overall cost of the unit. I'm hoping they strike a good balance with longevity and performance.

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    3. I'm intrigued by the idea of the Switch; but I'm waiting at least a year before I pick one up, and getting the Wii U version of Breath of the Wild. Plus, with the promise of new games from Mario, Pokémon, Splatoon and Super Smash Bros., I'm very eager to see what the console can do.

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    4. Cool in theory, but I need to know more about it before I get onboard. Price, obviously, but also the power of the machine, and what games it's launching with. I think it was a big mistake to just have a 3.5 minute trailer and not a full Direct.

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    5. I have a few points of discussion.
      The first point is pretty minor, so I'll get it out of the way first. Personally, I don't like the name of the console. Nintendo "Switch"? I get what they were going with, seeing as it's a hybrid system that can switch between a television monitor and a portable screen with multiple controller options to boot, but the name just isn't sticking with me right now. Perhaps I'll become more accustomed to it later on, as it was just unveiled today (I felt the same uneasiness when Breath of the Wild was chosen as the name of the upcoming Zelda title back at E3 2016, but I gradually got used to it).
      Secondly, I am also concerned about the performance of the portable unit. Can it really run smoothly with a constant frame rate, or will there come a time where it suffers from lag and other connectivity issues?
      Thirdly, the power of the portable unit is also an issue. It's not just the unit itself, but the two detachable controllers may need to be charged as well. Can the battery truly last through a road trip or plane ride, and how easy can it be to charge it up when needed on the go?
      Fourth and final issue is the amount of games available for the system, both first and third party. While it seems that Nintendo has a few select titles confirmed for the March 2017 launch window, how soon can other games be released? How easy will it be for third-party developers to make games for the system? According to articles, there are a whole slew of third-party companies already on board for the new Nintendo system. Let's hope they will stay and not abandon the Switch like they all did with the Wii U.

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    6. @Shadow. Very good points. I'll have to think about all that myself, but I don't mind the Switch as a name. Also, the third-party thing has been a recurring issue whenever a new console is made. Generally, the big names move on to the next system and the previous one tends to be a breeding ground for shovelware Barbie and moose-hunting games. I am very eager to see how developers make use of the hardware at their disposal; as I typically am whenever a new console is announced. I rarely buy a new console at launch; so I plan to wait about a year and pick one up and about 5 games in 2018; so I can see what there is and what other people think.

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    7. I really like the concept of being both a home console and a portable device. It's like Nintendo is aware of declining sales of portable devices like Nintendo 3DS and PS Vita so now they are making home console games to be played outside of home as well.

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    8. Just an interesting observation. Nintendo didn't show any children or elderly playing the Switch. It was all teenagers and young adults.

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    9. The game engine I use, Unity3d, announced yesterday a partnership with Nintendo to support Switch. The engine supports a lot of consoles, but I don't think it was ever announced so early (3DS support only game this year).

      Unity3d is the most popular among indies but is used by some major developers (including Nintendo themselves).

      I take this as a sign that Nintendo is trying to make third-party development very easy, and to really encourage it from the start.

      Hopefully the licensing costs will be indie-friendly.

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  7. I certainly hope the Switch can be a good console, since I'm intrigued by the idea of combining home and portable gaming in that package; and I'm eager to see how developers make use of it. I'm planing on picking it up in 2018; and waiting what others think before I do, and getting the Wii U version of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Well, I'm going back to studying for my communications midterm and playing the Pokémon Sun and Moon demo. Speaking of which, anyone who's downloaded it beside me, what do you think with 29 days to launch?

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    1. Personally, I'm enjoying it immensely; and it has further gotten me excited for the full games next month. I've thankfully paid off my preorders; I can't wait to bring all this content to the full version, least of all the Greninja DLC with Battle Bond. I'm also planning on going to some Halloween parties in an OC Pokémon trainer cosplay that I'm just about done with.

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  8. "Five Nights at Freddy's FNAF Plushies Series 1 Funko Plush Unboxing Review." He finally knows Chica is female.

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  9. The only exceptions I can think of are that they continue to make NES games a good few years after Super NES came out; plus in Japan the Super Famicom had games for the Satelliview service coinciding with the early days of the N64.

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  10. If any news can top the Nintendo Switch, its video game voiceover actors going on strike:

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/sag-aftra-video-game-strike-940306

    I hate to get into politics, but part of me is rooting for the union, if only because voice actors have a long and sad history of getting treated like shit. But who the hell knows what will happen.

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    1. I think I heard that when Kojima was still in control of Metal Gear, he'd wanted to ditch David Hayter for a big name celebrity for years, but always had to stick with Hayter because he couldn't find anyone.

      At least until he managed to get Sutherland and dropped Hayter like a hot potato.

      VA's, in anime and games, don't get the respect they deserve.

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  11. Oh, and Joss Whedon wants to do a Star Wars movie:
    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/joss-whedon-wants-make-a-940234?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=THR%20Breaking%20News_now_2016-10-21%2000:07:09_ARahman&utm_term=hollywoodreporter_breakingnews

    Insert anti-SJW rants here.

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    1. Firefly was awesome. Hopefully if he does a Star Wars movie it will be just as awesome.

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    2. @MacDragard. I agree, that had to be my favorite show ever. I'm quite looking forward to seeing what he can do with his extensive TV work and the Avengers films on his resumé; as well as Serenity.

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  12. And I think I had my Wii U and 3DS for not even a whole year yet... Better get some Virtual Console giftcards this holiday.

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  13. Yeah, I most likely can see the big names moving on to the Switch in the near future; and as for the shovelware, Spyro, I expect everyone else to start flooding the U with low-grade Barbie and moose-hunting games; to say nothing of chintzy movie tie-ins. I notice that tends to happen when a manufacturer makes a new console and the bigger developers move on to what's new.

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  14. New Skylanders video by Puppet Steve. He unboxed the entirety of Imaginatiors wave 1. I wonder if he's going to try to make any custom Skylanders, given that the custom Skylander feature is this year's gimmick.

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    1. Bores clearly doesn't get how Activision games work: they release new games in their core franchises (Call of Duty, Skylanders, etc.) each year, and gradually add more and more new features. The only time I've seen Skylanders truly cut out a feature they've introduced is when they made trapped villains incompatible with games made after Trap Team (even cutting out the trap slot entirely with the Imaginators portal).

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    2. Yeah, Boring Man has never been big on user-generated content; despite the fact that it's often a big selling point of many games these days (hence why he gave up on Disney Infinity before the line and Disney Interactive as a whole were decommissioned). Even as someone who's not big on the whole thing; I will admit the customization aspect is intriguing to me. I might consider it in the near future; even with Kotick's reputation being what it is (I really hope Chris doesn't talk about Infinite Warfare and "suggest" a back-to-basics approach there; though he's claimed FPS games make him sick before).

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    3. Yeah, I can totally see Chris descending further into this puppet nonsense; and I can totally respect Insomniac for wanting to move on (though I am glad they had the foresight to keep the rights to the games they made; which I still plan on downloading on PSN after this whole mess with my account is straightened out). As for Crash- I am skeptical about his future; but I am intrigued by the idea of Naughty Dog helping remaster the original games for the 20th anniversary. Even if I'm not the biggest Skylanders fan (the Amiibo have more characters I'm into; and I'm also considering Lego Dimensions soon given how my area has been marking down a lot of the packs and the base unit. Primarily going to get the expansions that interest me if I do.), I will admit that it has been quite lucrative. I'm not a completionist, so I would just theoretically be picking up the base unit and characters from other elements. Even so, I think it's time for Activision or whoever to stop enabling Chris' habit; since he hasn't really done that much outside the first game besides all these videos about the figures.

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  15. What I find ironic is for the first time in history Chris Bores is actually putting out consistent content and it's not even being acknowledged by himself.

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    1. I know right? It's like he doesn't care if he do things that all of us want him to do.

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  16. SpyroFan93, I do feel a little cheated, but I already knew a new system was on the way, so I knew what I was getting into.

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  18. Guru Larry just put out a video discussing Irate Gamer, as well as two other YouTube Gamers that didn't hit it big:

    https://youtu.be/bYdK7FJoFDA

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    1. I am more shocked by the last people shown in the video, GameLife. How they could've been popular if it wasn't for their egotistical host and his threat against a female.

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  19. ALL OF YOU THAT FOLLOW THIS BLOG ONLY TO BITCH ABOUT CHRIS BORES ARE PATHETIC MORONS. GET A LIFE

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  20. I think I heard that when Kojima was still in control of Metal Gear, he'd wanted to ditch David Hayter for a big name celebrity for years, but always had to stick with Hayter because he couldn't find anyone.
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