Thursday, March 29, 2018

He's back.

I had hoped to go through March without a single post. I was close too.

He's been silent on Facebook outside of a horrible thing he said about Stoneman Douglas survivor Emma Gonzalez, I chose not to address it fearing the political maelstrom that would follow.
Puppet Steve has been the same shit since he came back from ToyFair. Though there was this one massive 10:25 minute video discussing a toyline called, and I am not kidding, Poopeez. A line of toilet themed toys. I chose not to cover it because I couldn't last a minute without the assistance of hard liquor. Just imagine someone doing a fake annoying laugh after showing every single thing. View at your own risk.

But then, I got a surprise. I have been informed that Chris uploaded something new to "CB Network", formally the Irate Gamer channel. It's not ghost related.
What we get is a minute long video, and despite that it could have been shorter. The first 30 seconds focus entirely on a TV with Super Mario Bros paused on screen. Chris walks by and unpauses the game at the 30 second mark (see what I mean by shorter?) He jumps right into a Bullet Bill, dies, and lets out a cartoonish "DAMN IT". He then throws a pillow at his Samsung TV. Don't do that, that's a nice TV.

Then we get a little montage. Quotes like "You asked for it!" "Rebooted for 2018" "So get ready" and "Coming soon". Through out that we see Chris throwing a Genesis controller, holding a radio (what), and one last shot looking into the camera and saying "We're back baby!" In all his scenes, Chris is wearing these dorky looking neon glasses that glow in the dark. No, those look terrible, you can't be serious. Are you trying to be "80's" again? Even Ernest Cline would tell you to tone it down.

So yeah, Irate Gamer is coming back. Guess Puppet Steve isn't paying the bills anymore. Who knows, Chris never talks about why he does what he does outside of vague notions or outright lies. He'll probably try to do both IG and Puppet Steve, especially since he can basically turn Puppet Steve into a Mad Libs script.

One of the bigger changes is the channel name. It's no longer "CB Network", it's now "CHRIS-TUBE" (in all caps). The channel avatar is Chris in those dumb neon glasses. The channel banner shows the Chris-Tube logo and lists three things under it. "Video Games. Unboxings. Pop Culture". I sense more of the same shit he did when his channel was dying before this...
He also changed his Twitter name. The handle is still "@ChrisBoresIG", but the name is changed to "Chris NEO". So more of the same but with less effort? Just like IG Neo?

Sooooo yeah. Guess I've got more material in the future. I'll be seeing you then. Just don't expect same-day delivery.

78 comments:

  1. Personally, I kinda wish you’d held off on this post for a bit. There’s still the chance this is an April Fool.

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  2. Funny, the only way I found this out is because of all the Channel Awesome drama and implosion, someone on Twitter mentioned IG was coming back and then reminded everyone what a douchebag he was when JewWario committed suicide.

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  3. Meanwhile: Ren & Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi has just been accused of child molestation.

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    Replies
    1. Proof?

      .......

      Nope, didn't think so. But even if so, this kind of news is SOOOOO last Tuesday. Move the fuck on, people.

      Delete
    2. Wait, you're saying even if it's true, to move on? How about fuck off?

      Delete
    3. Bad day, bro? Come on man, I'll buy you a drink.

      Delete
    4. https://www.buzzfeed.com/arianelange/john-kricfalusi-ren-stimpy-underage-sexual-abuse?utm_term=.tuvn2k3qB#.livMzNpOa

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  4. He did say back in August if he brought back IG he would have to "totally revamp the concept and do something new..."

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    1. They'll be as funny as Puppet Steve's. So, you know, think of your single favorite gag in the hundreds and hundreds of Steve videos posted (Remember that time Zombie Steve ATE the toy being reviewed?), and you can expect that same level of quality every few hundred New Irate Gamer videos.

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  5. i can't believe he might be coming back.but we shall see.....

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  6. I suppose April Fool's gag is a possibility, but I'm excited to think we as a group are getting pulled back into it, just like old times.

    But my God, why the 30 seconds of nothing? At least his big teaser moment is a couple seconds of him playing extremely badly and then blaming the game, which is believable from him. The rest of the video shows he's at least come a long way in editing and production skill... so why that dadaist setup?

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  7. Oh man...

    I have a feeling Super Mario Bros. will be his very first review. It would explain the unnecessary long shot of the game. Back to bashing classic, just like before.

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  8. If he does come back I wonder if there would be more ICBINDLA videos?

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    Replies
    1. If Third Rate Gamer came back it would all be worth it.

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  9. On the one hand, it sucks Bores is trying this shit again.

    On the other hand, it'll be nice to be able to come on back here and read more articles from you, Batdan!

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  10. Off-topic, but has anyone here heard of Pan Pizza (RebelTaxi)? What's y'all's opinion on him?

    My opinion: Makes great content, but kind of a douche and creepy as a person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's a pretty swell reviewer! I really like him!
      ^-^

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    2. ElectricDragon505 on the other hand...well let's just say his review of the Yo-Kai Watch Movie wasn't that great. I couldn't even stand the first 2 minutes of it. To start off, he states that he has never seen the anime or played any of the games. Then why would you review something that you're not familiar with? Yet everyone gives Mr. Enter crap with his "Animated Atrocities" reviews, yet this guy hasn't been called out, yet?

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  11. Perhaps this will be the perfect predecessor to the classic series.

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  12. Link for anyone who want's to watch it

    "You Asked For It!", actually, yeah. Not us, necessarily, but his fans have been wanting more Irate Gamer and props to him for listening instead of shilling and making low-effort puppet shows.

    I've said this before, he actually has some editing talent. The later part of this trailer is pretty good. The first half... Well, I thought it was a joke until 4/5 of the way through. Even the "Damn It"! before he threw the pillow sounds like it was sampled from a different video.

    Hopefully by "Rebooted" he means he's ditching his old style and "plot" entirely.

    Other than that, can't really tell much from this. Just like with the AVGN movie, I have high hopes butlow expectations...

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  13. Funnily enough, I was just watching Irate Gamer parodies and I stumbled upon the video and was watching thinking at first, "Oh hey, a recent Irate Gamer parody." But then I saw new footage of the Irate Gamer himself and I was like, "Wait, what?"

    Can't say that I was expecting that.

    Call me crazy, though, but as being one of the people who derive so-bad-its-good entertainment value from his videos, I'm actually legitimately excited for this. It will be interesting to see whether he either has marginally improved or gotten worse. Though I'm not exactly expecting the former by this point.

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  14. Hopefully we get that Superman for NES review he’s been promising for over 10 years now.

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  15. On one hand, I was hoping for an improved Irate Gamer. It's been years, maybe he got pretty cool and new ideas... Right?

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  16. Guess I need to find where I saved all my ICBIND files and blow the dust off them .

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    Replies
    1. I’m surprised no one has done one of his Power Rangers trilogy arc, which were some of his worst reviews ever

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    2. I never did the story arc videos because they were just too godawful to do anything with. In fact, if this reboot series is that bad, I will pass on riffing those as well.

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  17. I ask you to go all the way back to when Chris Bore-ess began his "movie" storyline. After that he decided to compete for the YouTube NextUp contest that was happening at the time. He made a video where he pretended he was in an interview and claimed he "rebooted" his show to an "epic" level (his words).

    Put simply, we have seen his claims of a reboot before and the results were not good. I actually do think that Chris Bore-ess could be a useful member of a team that produces videos but he has always preferred to work alone. It is difficult to imagine that this new reboot will be much better unless Chris is willing to put in more work on pre-production and actually get some help from writers.

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  18. I knew he would bring back IG, just didn't expect it to be so soon.

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    Replies
    1. He's not IG now, he's Chris Neo ... big difference with the new format and rebooting for 2018. Just thought you need to know?

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    2. Basically, Chris is Keanu Reeves.

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    3. Chris Neo is the perfect predecessor to the original Irate Gamer!

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  19. How many retirements has he come out of now?

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    Replies
    1. Cher just called Chris to tell him she thinks he's getting a little embarrassing.

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  20. Just out of curiosity, Linda. If Chris is not the Irate Gamer now why does the video say "Irate Gamer Returns?"

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    Replies
    1. You did notice it is followed up with a question mark, didn't you? it leaves one to ponder if in fact he has returned as the IG or not. The next video he puts out will solve the mystery as I already have solved for you. He comes back as Chris Neo, not Irate Gamer. You can thank me for not leaving you in suspense. ha ~ Happy Easter :D

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    2. Get it STRAIGHT, guys. JUST BECAUSE a Chris Bores character got mad at a good game that he played badly while asking whether the Irate Gamer would be coming back, YOU GUYS assume that the Irate Gamer is coming back! It's CHRIS NEO! Which YOU asked for (:37 in the video), and Chris is a nice guy who gives people what they want, so CHRIS NEO and unspecified others are back from an unclarified place, baby (:49 in the video)!

      Delete
    3. Oh, come now, Linda. I was perfectly polite to you. There is no need for you to be condescending. That said, if the Irate Gamer is not returning and the new show is "Chris Neo", then there was really no reason to put "Irate Gamer" in the video title other than clickbaiting old fans.

      I hope that Chris has considered the criticism he received and the new show will be high quality.

      Delete
    4. You're expecting Linda not to be a condescending jerk? I mean you weren't 100% positive about her son, so she comes running out to defend her.

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    5. Edge, in what way wasn't I perfectly nice to you? You lost me there!

      Delete
    6. Gonna have to side with LadyBuggin here, I think you're imaging a condescending tone where there isn't one.
      It happens, I myself naturally say things with a bit of snarkiness. When talking to someone in person, I usually get a chuckle. We talking through text, it sometimes comes off much more aggressively.
      LadyBuggin obviously has been very harsh to this community in the past, but as of yesterday he seems to at least be attempting to turn over a new leaf (except he's not willing to abandon the "mommy mask" yet, but one step at a time).
      Try rereading the comment with a explanative (or even sarcastic) tone rather than the condensing one that you've assumed.

      Delete
    7. Heck, LadyBuggin even responded to you now asking why you think he wasn't nice.
      No accusations of being an "AVGN fanturd". No accusations of jealousy. No accusations of parental issues. No political attacks against assumed views (though there was a bit of that in the last post, but again, one step at a time).
      I see a bit of progress here.

      Delete
  21. Nice to see this guy batdan still camps at his pc constantly refreshing Chris's YT page. What a loser, i bet he's actually Silent Rob.

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    Replies
    1. Well, you don't make thirteen posts over the past year by having a day job.

      Delete
  22. He just posted a Facebook update, saying that the new episodes would have no skits or over exaggerated anger.

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    Replies
    1. And: "I will probably post my first episode tomorrow. Hope You enjoy. If not and it sucks, then I’ll go back to my day job."

      So, puppets.

      Delete
    2. It could certainly be done without the over the top stuff. Though I wouldn’t bank on having a really popular channel over it. To be fair AVGN has really fallen off with his videos lately. The let’s plays are much better than the actual nerd stuff. Point being if James had just started on let’s plays, he wouldn’t have nearly the subscriber base he has.

      Delete
    3. James & Mike Mondays has been Cinemassacre's flagship show for years now. AVGN saw a bump in activity around Halloween and Christmas but he has been sporadic with that series for quite some time.

      I am wondering if Chris will keep Puppet Steve and Chris Neo going simultaneously. As awful as I think Puppet Steve is, Chris does deserve credit for posting frequently on that channel.

      But both shows at the same time? To do that then he must keep Chris Neo episodes fairly short.

      Delete
  23. Wonder if Pubba Steve will make a cameo of some sort on the new IG show

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    Replies
    1. Puppet Steve: Hey Chris, what'cha playin'!?

      Chris: Wait a second, didn't I retire you because you were no longer giving me high ratings? Well, time to send you back to the depths of hell, where you belong, you fuckin' puppet piece of shit!

      Puppet Steve: Wait Chri-

      *Shoots Puppet Steve with the NES Zapper

      Chris: Don't worry, he'll be back!

      Delete
  24. Judging by the trailer, I can tell it's going to be the exact same schtick he ever does in the past. No change whatsoever. *Sigh* Well, we'll just have to wait and see.

    Also, wow. I just noticed. After ten years I think, he finally took down those old video game posters from the wall and redecorated his room. So at least that's one thing that he had changed.

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  25. In other stuff...

    Do you guys ever wonder how Noah Antwiler a.k.a. Spoony, who was once one of the most popular reviewers on the Internet, eventually fade into obscurity?

    Here's a video explaining his rise and fall:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMSZ1TqgOIU&t=0s

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    Replies
    1. I only saw bits and parts of his videos. Crazy

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  26. Hey maybe if he is coming back then he will make better content.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe if he was capable of making better content, we'd have seen some of that over the last couple years of Puppet Steve, Zombie Steve, and the Alphabet Bunch.

      Speaking of that last: he's taught us three &@#!* letters since June 2015 and now he's starting a NEW project? It's like a neon sign telling kids to just watch the original letter people videos and forget about this other stuff. Maybe HOVG will get to Colecovision sometime in the next geologic era.

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  27. OT: So it looks like Toys R Us is definitely going out of business, or is at least closing all their US locations. I thought they were just going through a debt restructuring but I guess things were much worse than we thought. I’m surprised Kmart/Sears didn’t beat them to it, but I know they’re on their way out very soon.

    GameStop will be next to go for sure.

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  28. James Rolfe came out with a review of Breaking Bad.

    Alright...I guess I gotta watch it then

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    Replies
    1. Reviews are nearly always biased by taste, AVGN's obvious bias to Nintendo and hate towards most SEGA stuff is proof of that.

      Plus the AVGN movie sucked but the Nostalgia Critic said it was good, oh i wonder why?

      So many blind fanboys it's hilarious.

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    2. If the IG made a movie, the AVGN film would only be "slightly" more watchable.

      Delete
  29. And the first episode of Chris Neo is up - Sewer Shark.

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    Replies
    1. Hmm like I said I had high hopes but low expectations...
      Well, it wasn't offensively cringey like his older stuff (except a few moments)
      Overall it was just dull.

      Delete
  30. He's back.....kinda. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qgfejYxs9I

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  31. Okay, just finished watching the first episode. A few thoughts:

    The good: The room he is filming in looks much nicer than the old IG "set". I think the toned down style works better for Chris.

    The bad: He claims he never reviewed a game on the Sega Cd "last time". I beg to differ - he reviewed Power Rangers on Sega CD.

    Two research fails fairly early on. He says that if you bought a Sega CD you could not escape Sewer Shark because it came packaged with the system. This is false. Sewer Shark was later bundled with Sega Cd but the early Sega CDs did not come with that.

    Chris also claims that Sewer Shark was the first time we saw live action footage in a video game. This is untrue. We have seen games with live action footage before Sewer Shark. Hell, there was the Action Max which had games on VHS and several of them had live action footage. Turbo CD came out before Sega CD but off the top of my head I can't remember if there were early live action games on it.

    Random appearance: For some reason Chris put Huckleberry Hound into one of the game's tunnels.

    Despite the flaws, the video wasn't terrible. It was a fairly middle of the road game review by YouTube standards.

    Side note - Chris did drop an f-bomb which he may want to avoid in the future given the capricious nature of advertisers on YouTube.

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    Replies
    1. It wasn't terrible, but the problem is, Chris without all the cringey bad jokes and acting, it's apparent he's just boring. I mean the old IG stuff was cringey but it was at least entertaining to watch how bad he was. This was just....boring.

      Delete
  32. Gee, it’s great to not actually have the Irate Gamer back because it’s CHRIS NEO, who was never here before so he can’t be back, but here he is because the fans demanded it.

    Wow, he looks so 80’s-radical in those glowy neon shades and… playing Sewer Shark on Sega CD.

    Compares it to Star Wars but doesn’t mention “A John Dykstra U-Direct Film,” Dykstra being the lead FX artist on the original Star Wars.

    “The iconic opener.”

    Phrases he needs to learn: pack in game, rail shooter.

    “Hey, wait a minute, there’s Huckleberry Hound,” seconds before he actually appears. Editing is his strength; he should have caught that himself.

    “the further you get into the game the difficulty of course increases.” Always nice to have a seasoned gaming veteran walking us through this.

    “Yup, and this was pretty much as far as I was able to get in the game.” Then who did you steal the endgame footage from?

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  33. God what a snooze fest that "review" was.

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  34. The grandson from Mama's Family? Did you honestly think anyone that watches your stuff would even know what that reference was?

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  35. Also he ends with "on until next time..."...WTF.

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  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  37. I think we're safe down here, may I ask what the comment towards Emma Gonzalez was? I think he deleted it since scrolling back through his FB doesn't yield anything

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  38. I'm excited he's back, not because his show is garbage (which it is) but for the text commentaries. It's like the only way to watch them, similar to how people will only watch bad sci-fi films, if they're being riffed by MST3K.

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  39. Dammit, no! I thought we were rid of that loser half-a-tard! Fine. He wants to return? Well so will the trolls. Time for Round 2.

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  40. You're joking, right? You still keep going with these blog posts? He's changed, and is not like AVGN anymore. Chris isn't even bashing anything good so far.

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