Saturday, June 2, 2018

Striking the Infinity War Iron... A Month After It Came Out

So much for more Mario Game Genie crap. Probably next week.
Instead, time to cash-in on the Avengers: Infinity War hype! What do you mean it came out last month and almost everyone knows how it ends?
Leave it to Chris to be late to the party.
For the few people that haven't seen Infinity War and still want to, spoilers are ahead.

This week's video is only three and a half minutes long, that's a relief.
THANOS Destroys the Video Game Universe! Avengers Infinity War Gauntlet Battle 

Not sure why Thanos is in all caps... well click-bait.
In fact, I saw the title this morning and it was worse. It didn't have the "video game" part, just said "destroys the universe" (even though Thanos only took out half the universe). The title also had Fortnite in it. Someone must have called him out on that one, then he deleted the comment and changed it pretending like it never happened. It's the conspiracy shitbag way!
EDIT: Or maybe it did say "Video Game Universe". I just know Fortnite was there before and now it's gone. Twas a busy day.

Description says he's "trying out something new". Uh oh...
It also says "Thank you for watching the Chris NEO Retro Show" Retro? Where did this come from? Also, isn't that an oxymoron? I assume the word "Neo" in this case means "new", and yet all you've talked about is old games. Now you're calling yourself "Chris Neo Retro"? What the hell are you?

Video opens, gives a spoiler warning, claims Thanos had an impact on reality and the real world but also had one on the gaming world. Then he does an over-acting "WUUT?"

He mentions how he saw "The Infinity War" (it's called Avengers: Infinity War, you're likely confusing it with the 1992 comic that served as a sequel to The Infinity Gauntlet comic which A:IW took its inspiration)
After seeing it, he returned home and decided to play Maximum Carnage. ... As you do?
Starting it up, Spider-Man doesn't show up in the game. He believes because Spider-Man died in the movie, he was wiped out from the game. This is already stupid!
He puts in Arcade's Revenge (not a good game) and he's gone from that.
Then he freaks out because Thanos may have wiped out characters in other games. So he grabs a bunch of random NES games off his shelf. Look at all this tension! Pffffft

"It was then that I put in Super Mario Bros. for the NES" You don't have to narrate, you're not a Jojo character.
He beats Bowser and finds that Toad is gone. Then he voices Mario wondering where he is. Duuuumb. At least he said Toad's name right for once.
Then he goes to Super Mario Bros. 2 and finds Toad is gone there.
Then he goes to Paperboy and the title character is gone. Then a stupid bit where two neighbors wonder where the paperboy is and a break-dancer in the streets is run over with a car. ARE YOU LAUGHING YET?
Then he goes to Mortal Kombat (because Chris' knowledge of video games is so very limited) and somehow Thanos wiped out "the announcer". You mean Shang Tsung? He was the announcer of the first game. It gets worse because he's playing in the stage where Tsung is clearly in the background. Also his voices for Scorpion and Johnny Cage are terrible.

Then Donkey Kong, there's no more Pauline (Chris couldn't bother to learn her name). More terrible Mario voices.
Then Sonic & Knuckles (not Sonic 3 and Knuckles, just the expansion) where there's no Knuckles
Then Pac-Man with no Pac-Man, with a dumb bit where two of the ghosts leave to get ice cream (Zzzzzz)
Then TMNT on NES with Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo gone, only Raphael is left. Get it because Raphael sucks in that game. Hur hur hur hur hur hur hurfaksrjef;likesrf;laekrj;lka

"Wait a minute, what about the Duck Hunt Dog?" The one you already killed in the finale of Irate Gamer? Thanos can't kill what's already dead. Unless he reverses time and reality first but you killed the dog already.
He starts playing... with the NES controller. Where's your fucking Zapper? You can't play Duck Hunt with the controller! Did you put any thought into this video?
Anyway the dog survived and that's the joke...
He begs the Avengers to stop Thanos and save the "gaming world". Oh fuck this noise.

What a pointless video. Can't even cash in on the Avengers hype because it's over a month old. And don't tell me "It took him long time to edit", a lot of these were really easy edits! Basic shit you learn in a school course. Hell the Mortal Kombat example didn't even need editing, he just muted sound! The TMNT one was easy, he just killed off the other three Turtles first. It's not like How It Should Have Ended which actually needs time to animated, or Honest Trailers which needs the full movie.

One of the comments Chris liked (the little heart symbol that puts the comments on top) comes off really sarcastic. "Wow this was unique. Nobody has brought this up on YouTube. Good job!"
Somehow Chris could not see the obvious snark. Goes to show how dumb he really is.

Are we sure this wasn't a Puppet Steve video he somehow mixed in here? It was just as juvenile.
Speaking of *goes to check* More FNAF, more Bendy, more Minecraft, wait Mortal Kombat? *thumbnail has Steve wearing a Raiden hat* Yeah I'm not touching that.

EDIT: Also to add how lazy this video was, he didn't even bother to do the fading effect. He's just showing the aftermath. That's boring! 

64 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm not surprised honestly. I knew it was only a matter of time he'd revert back to those shitty jokes and skits that made Irate Gamer so unbearable and cringy.

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    2. He said his reviews won't have skits. It wasn't a review.

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    3. He said flat-out unambiguously "No more skits.", no qualifier at all.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oO1fGxtbrhI&lc=Ugy0Pz4EvZ8z8kAqXgZ4AaABAg.8eOqkc-t1Zx8eOw-pTIY_G

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    4. You’re probably just taking those words at face value. Just because “no more skits” are the only words he says doesn’t mean “no more skits at all.” He probably just meant “no more skits in reviews.” That could’ve meant that he’s not completely stopping the skits, he’s just doing them in separate videos.

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    5. I think you're giving him too much credit. He also said he was done with forced anger, because he felt it was "all played out", but that resurfaces here too after he sees the Duck Hunt dog is still alive. He's just falling back on his old crutches again when he said he wouldn't.

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    6. I can see that, but I can’t help but feel that when you said I’m giving him too much credit, it sounded like I shouldn’t have given him any credit at all.

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  2. Like I mentioned before, I think he deleted my comment because I couldn’t find it later on. All I did was mention that he should have popped in McKids and find out the Hamburgler was missing.

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    1. Knowing Chris, he probably did. That guy has been unable to deal with criticism for years now. How about don't put videos up online if you're going to be pissed that everyone isn't gushing over them?

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  3. Not sure if you're saying the movie took it's inspiration from The Infinity War. If so, it actually ("akshually") took it's inspiration from Infinity Gauntlet and it's name from the sequel. Of course, you might already know this but the sentence was a bit vague. Sorry for the Comic Book Guy routine.

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    Replies
    1. I was saying "The Infinity War" is the sequel to the comic that the movie took inspiration from "The Infinity Gauntlet".
      Though if you really want to get technical, the movie is more like "The Thanos Quest", the two issue miniseries that leads into "The Infinity Gauntlet".

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    2. Yeah, the MCU has honestly been taking inspiration for their movies from multiple comic stories. Sometimes this gives them some pretty interesting takes on the original material. Again sorry for the stupid nitpick.

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  4. Replies
    1. http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/026/056/sponge.jpg

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    2. Oh, I get it now. I thought BatDan was referring to something that normally happens in Bores' videos.

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    3. A better term would have been “dissolving effect.”

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  5. To quote Bob Eubanks: "That was the worst piece of boop-boop anyone has ever witnessed."

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  6. Off topic: The Atari VCS crowdfunding was a success. Seriously, where are the games? There’s no actual software to entice people to support it, other than the millions of Atari classics that are already available on other platforms. There’s one on Steam that’s only $9.99. The regular console is at least $200! They can’t just entice us on nostalgia alone!

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    Replies
    1. Aren’t they selling Atari VCS remakes in the toys section of Wal-Mart these days?

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    2. Yes, Wal-Mart sells clones with built-in games.

      This is a new console with modern hardware running Linux. So, it's much like an Ouya or Steam Machine, just Atari-branded.

      It's really pointless, and it will fail.

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    3. Rich from ReviewTechUSA said it best. People are only backing the Atari VCS up because they know well that it’s going to flop and they just want it as a collecter’s item.

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    4. and now, there's this

      It's amazing that they can't find any legit games to show on a Linux box.

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  7. There were a lot of errors with the video. I mean, you don't play Duck Hunt with a controller.

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    Replies
    1. I’ve tried but didn’t get far

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    2. You shoot with the Zapper, but a second player can control one of the ducks.
      So, playing with just the controller is Bores’ ideal game, you technically win every time.

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    3. Yeah it's said that Duck Hunt has a two player mode in where the ducks are controlled with a controller in the second slot.

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  8. In the video, Knuckles wasn't selectable on the title screen of S&K, but he still can be plainly seen as a giant 3D sprite standing next to Sonic in title screen's backdrop. As conspicuous as the "missing" Mortal Kombat announcer, if not more so.

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    Replies
    1. i notice a few parts like that. wasn’t toad also on the SMB2 title screen?

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    2. Chris probably didn’t realize that the announcer in Mortal Kombat IS Shang Tsung. This is probably a mistake that I’m sure non-fans of Mortal Kombat make, proving that Chris is not a fan.

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  9. Chris made a rather bizarre post on Facebook a few days ago.

    "Well, did an interesting house cleansing where the dang spirit got squirelly with me and lashed back. Had to pull out the big guns. Thankfully the place was feeling nice and purified afterward."

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    1. Wow...how does he even function?

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    2. He doesn’t even go into any detail about what happened. People are going to get confused and ask questions. What did the “spirit” do to him? What “big guns” did he have to pull out? Why would anyone think that ghosts are real?

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    3. I hope it wasn't his own house. And why is he so unwilling to actually explain to people what he does?

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    4. He's not unwilling at all, it's just that after "ghost hunting" most people have heard enough.

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  10. You cannot write comedy like the Financhu Crisis. It's as if every time Chris-chan earns a quarter, he blows $100 on something frivolous that one can get elsewhere for 1/3 of the price.

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  11. Also, Zoe Quinn was hired by DC Comics. Were they afraid they were too successful?

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    Replies
    1. What did she do that was so heavily reviled?

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    2. Back in 2013 she made a "video game". I put it in quotes because it barely meets the definition. It was a web-based "choose-your-own-adventure" book about depression. So, it was an online "choose-your-own-be-miserable-and-bored-no-matter-what-you-do".

      Since then, she's had a very profitable career of being a professional victim while harassing actual developers, such as the Fine Young Capitalists and Tom Soret.

      This is the first I've heard of her being involved with comics.

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    3. From her Wikipedia page:

      "As a teenager, she suffered from depression and was diagnosed with the condition at the age of 14. She has described receiving little sympathy or assistance from school district officials and says they were "less than understanding about teens with depression and suicide issues".

      No wonder she's all messed up. And this is precisely what happens when parents neglect their child.

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    4. Damn, Dave. You're kind of a dick.

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    5. And Brianna Wu is running for Congress. Yeah...

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    6. Only heard of Wu once before, when she was caught harassing herself using sockpuppet accounts. Seems like a common tactic nowadays

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  12. In other news, DarksydePhil's YouTube channel got suspended.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. He's been suspended a couple times, right?
      Or was that from Twitch?

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    2. Oh no! Where will I see a man fuck up making Cup-of-Noodles now!?

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    3. His channel was only suspended for a few hours. He got it back. There does seem to be something going on as a number of YouTubers are saying they've been suspended.

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  13. You know, all these years, I feel like Bores puts these "jokes" that he thinks are funny when he isn't funny at all.

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  14. Another off-topic: Anyone who likes metal should check out the YouTube channel Frog Leap Studios. Dude does some amazing cover songs, I've been listening to them at work for the past week.

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  15. so who thinks bores will do a video on the neo geo minis? since he loves those tiny arcades

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    Replies
    1. After today's Cuphead news, I'm eager to hear him pronounce "Ms. Chalice."

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    2. LOL, does he even know who SNK are/were?

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    3. of course he doesn't, but that never stopped him from exploiting a product.

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  16. OT: Bores, stay away from Command & Conquer. EA has already fucked it up.

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    Replies
    1. "But the cool thing about this game is that you can not only command, but also conquer! No DLC needed!"

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  17. What your thoughts on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate from today's Nintendo Direct?

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    Replies
    1. Looks pretty good IMO. I thought Smash Wii U was the best yet. I wonder if Chris will cover Ultimate when it comes out...

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  18. Hoo boy...Puppet Steve uploaded a video on the Smash Bros. Ultimate reveal at E3.

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    1. On the plus side, it was fairly fresh news- something like 24 hours after the reveal, and that's breaking news on his time scale. The big negative is his usual lack of analysis or insight- just a recitation of the same facts everyone has already gotten from the reveal video. Calling everyone on your block to tell them it's raining is technically reporting the news, but you're not stopping to ask yourself "Am I providing an actual helpful service?"

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    2. Meanwhile over on Facebook...

      Chris laments that Bomberman isn't in Smash and claims to have played a lot of Bomberman on NES. He also wants Simon Belmont in Smash.

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