I sense there will be a major video at the end of the week, so this recap will only cover Monday and Wednesday’s videos.
Monday’s video, on April 20th 2015, talks about the joys of smoking weed everyday Oh, I wish, then he might actually be funny. No, instead it’s Bores filming a Loot Crate unboxing.
It’s astonishing how Bores spent years pushing away all the popular YouTube trends, yet here he is doing them. Let’s Plays, Loot Crate unboxings, I wouldn’t be surprised if GotGame sends him a Special Edition of a game and he does an unboxing video of that. … Oh damn it, I hope I just didn’t give him ideas.
For those unaware, Loot Crate is monthly subscription service where a paying customer gets a box of various “geek and gamer gear” (the site’s words, not mine). Each month has a different theme (April’s was Fantasy). Lots of YouTube channels signed up to it and do unboxing videos.
*reads description* He’s trying to be cute and say that what’s in the box is terrifying. This isn’t the end of Se7en Chris.
And apparently handlebar mustaches are “scary”. … Uhhh… huh.
He says he’s been subscribed for a few months now. Mentions that the last Crate he got was “weird” and he reacted “what am I five?” No, he doesn’t say what he got last month to garner that reaction. Hard to relate Chris.
I looked up what March’s Loot Crate was. The theme was “Covert”. The picture on their site includes a couple Agents of SHIELD items, an Orphan Black comic book, a chibi James Bond looking depressed, and a book of Mad Libs. Maybe that’s where the “what am I five” comment came from.
His first item is a Dungeons & Dragons t-shirt. Specifically, the dragon ampersand that adorns current boxes. “I didn’t know Dungeons & Dragons made t-shirts” … It’s a major merchandising empire, of course there’s t-shirts!
The t-shirt also came with a booklet, and in it is a model wearing it. The model has a handlebar mustache, so that’s what the description and title is about. He says the guy looks like a “total creeper” and “not to open your door if you see him”. … He looks fine to me. I’ve seen way worse “creepy” people.
Next item is Game of Thrones magnets. I’m not going to quote a dead joke.
Followed by a House Stark sigil flash drive.
Then a Harry Potter luggage tag. I would be embarrassed to use that in public. He claims he might give it to “the kids”. You mean the ones that aren’t yours?
Next is a bowtie. “In a Doctor Who mood” That’s outdated, the current Doctor doesn’t wear a bowtie now. Get with the times! He believes it’s a D&D bowtie, but I can’t tell at all. His camera didn’t focus that well.
“Last couple items which are kind of dorky” Loot Crate is all around dorky.
One of them is a blow-up crown. He brings up Burger King which leads to him talking about the old Burger King commercials with a different King (not the creepy one that invaded our nightmares in the mid 2000’s). Don’t do an 80’s video on that! I can tell that’s what you’re trying to do!
Finally, a Princess Bride deck of cards.
Fairly harmless and boring… next video.
Wednesday’s video is wacky blooopers! Bleh.
Specifically, the bloopers from the Season 4 DVD set. Yeah, I get the feeling this will also be a common occurrence. DVD extras when he doesn’t have anything to upload.
He actually took time to edit one of the bloopers, giving himself blue Iceman skin. Why? We know you play everyone, it’s not like it makes a difference considering you’re just going to mess up the line.
Admittedly, I did find the blooper as the Star Trek character trying to find “hot white babes” instead of hot green babes, amusing.
Oh, apparently this isn’t ALL the bloopers as there’s a promotion for the DVD at the end (unless this really is all the bloopers and he’s lying to get people to buy it. Anyone with the DVD able to confirm?).
His “plz subscreebe” message has him wearing the inflatable crown from the Loot Crate video and calling himself “King Irate Gamer”. Man, all this new attention has really gone to his head. Yet he still holds on to that 55th place.
EDIT: Forgot to mention. The video's thumbnail is downright terrifying. Funny how he criticized the man with the handlebar mustache of being "creepy" when that face in the thumbnail is freaky as hell.
Like I said before, it’s likely Friday will be a new IG episode so here’s the recap. Light on content I know but it was a load of nothing.
See you Saturday.
I know I said in the last post but I'll say it here too why not. With this rather dull random and rushed video it almost seems like Chris doesn't actually want to make videos anymore. Really it seems like he's only doing this whole three video a week thing is because he's trying to one up other people who only upload one video a week.
ReplyDelete"with these rather dull and random and rushed videos"
DeleteOr add a comma after 'dull'.
DeleteHe could not have used a worse thumbnail.
If Chris is truly making videos only out of spite, then he truly has become lower than even the worst of the people who hate him (who, by the way, do not include us).
DeleteI think it's always been like that. He always wanted the fame and fortune of other internet successes without doing any of the work. He hasn't run out of ideas because he didn't have ideas in the first place.
DeleteAnd he can just take other people's ideas and just pick up random fads.
DeleteApparently all the idiot fans in the comments section are going nuts about him having kids. Those kids are actually his fiance's kids that he has been helping raise for over 4 years. The youngest one even calls him "dad" and tried to use Bores's last name once on a school paper. That's what Buggin said anyway, so it's all probably a load of shit. I also wouldn't be surprised if it was an ex-girlfriend instead of a fiance (in fact, I'm sure that it is after reading so much of this blog). Either way, I feel so sorry for those children in the future. I can't imagine what will happen when people look their "dad" and recognize one of the most infamous lying pieces of human shit on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteAlso, he's never mentioned those kids before (other than that one appearance in the Skylanders stop-motion where one of them appeared), so he must be getting nervous about some of James' latest videos/appearances and is trying to look like a family man himself and earn more undeserved sympathy, like when he made up the fake dead friend who introduced him to Kid Icarus.
Well said Batdan! Looking forward to Saturday's article.
ReplyDeleteAssuming that Bores posts an ACTUAL video on Friday.
DeleteWell, let me update the list:
ReplyDelete8.) Wanting to write for the upcoming DuckTales cartoon when he bad-mouthed Launchpad McQuack
7.) Launching a website with little-to-no changes made from the Pursuit of the Blech website
6.) Reviewing seizure-inducing LED lights. The people of Shark Tank would dump Chris quickly for trying to pitch those things.
5.) Bores returning to game reviewing... bad-mouthing good games... and then doing LP's of them
4.) History of Pointless Skits part 7
3.) Making up crap like saying he'd give toys to his kids or claiming that he has a friend who died in an attempt to garner more fake sympathy
2.) Making a tribute video for Leonard Nimoy... only to end it with a plea for subscribers. Because... MONEY.
1.) Posting a tweet about "jumping from a rooftop" in response to the new Ghostbusters movie having an all-female cast... a year after bashing JewWario for killing himself.
TBA: Bores appearing in a crappy movie that's most likely going to be direct-to-DVD or Blu-Ray and appearing on a terrible Pawn Stars knockoff, likely in response to Pat the NES Punk's appearance on PS.
You know regarding that all female Ghostbusters movie I never understand why Chris or anyone else would be against it. However my biggest issue with it is that I think it should have been a spin off instead of a a reboot. I mean it would work so easily, have the Ghostbusters have become a franchise and have that this all female team are the first people to set up their own Ghostbusters business, that way it would be a squeal but it's own movie at the same and if they wanted they could have the original team have a cameo appearance. I just can't figure out why they didn't go in this direction. Or was Chris just against the whole idea of female Ghostbuster in general, even though we had one in that Extreme Ghostbuster TV show and I've been told Jeanie was one a few times in The Real Ghostbuster, so it's been done officially at least twice.
DeleteI think Bill Murray and Sigourney Weaver are making at least will make cameo appearances for sure. Also, if you've seen the way Bores portrays Storm in the videos with the X-Men in them and the way he calls Palutena a "princess" and not a goddess, then you're likely to make the right call about whether he's sexist or not.
DeleteSorry for the redundancy in that first comment. Just got back from a 4-hour musical rehearsal.
Delete@Andrew Schroy
You forgot to add in the hypocritical ebegging for expensive Amiibos, but other than that, it all sounds about right. BTW, if anyone knows where to find Bores's appearance on Hardcore Pawn, please send us a link so we can see how he made an ass of himself on television.
Ooh, you're right. Let me fix that.
Delete9.) Wanting to write for the upcoming DuckTales cartoon when he bad-mouthed Launchpad McQuack
8.) Launching a website with little-to-no changes made from the Pursuit of the Blech website
7.) Reviewing seizure-inducing LED lights. The people of Shark Tank would dump Chris quickly for trying to pitch those things.
6.) Bores returning to game reviewing... bad-mouthing good games... and then doing LP's of them
5.) History of Pointless Skits part 7
4.) E-begging for Amiibos years after doing that "spoof" video in response to the Cheetahmen II Kickstarter
3.) Making up crap like saying he'd give toys to his kids or claiming that he has a friend who died in an attempt to garner more fake sympathy
2.) Making a tribute video for Leonard Nimoy... only to end it with a plea for subscribers. Because... MONEY.
1.) Posting a tweet about "jumping from a rooftop" in response to the new Ghostbusters movie having an all-female cast... a year after bashing JewWario for killing himself.
Is there any evidence that he made up the dead friend? Because that's a pretty serious (and insensitive) accusation.
DeleteNone whatsoever. It is indeed extremely insensitive and disrespectful. My appreciation to BatDan for curbing it the way it needs to be curbed.
DeleteWell, it's Friday. No new video... yet.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I might be right in saying Bores wouldn't be keeping his promise for long about "new videos every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday."
Bores being Bores, he doesn't usually upload his Friday videos until late in the day or Saturday. Mostly because he doesn't care.
Delete(DoubleEdgedSword2 here) He just did a review of Mike Tyson's Punch Out. It's going to be tough keeping my sanity in order to do the video riff
DeleteAs far as I'm convinced, it's not much of a promise.
DeleteLast Friday would have been a good opportunity to upload an Irate the 80's episode, but instead he just rehashed the Mario Party 8 episode that was originally on GotGame only.
He also makes a lot of short videos that are 2-3 minutes long, sometimes less (like the sprite fun video), that don't feature any interesting content. It's cool that he's uploading retro reviews more often, but I would rather have one video every other week if it's good instead of a lot of bad ones. Quality over quantity.
The new IG episode is up. It's Punch-Out . I'll see what I'll use for the drinking game this time and how long it takes to fill the conditions .
ReplyDelete1:24, A new record. This is going to hurt .
DeleteAlso, I'm pretty sure this is his first review of a sports game. (Though that depends on whether you count pro wrestling as a sport.)
DeleteHe's doing Punch out for the NES? That's one of the best games of all time. He's going to piss a lot of people who grew up with the game off.
DeleteNot just one of the best games of all time I dare say one of the best series. OK to be fair I never did played the SNES Punch Out so I can't say how good it is but I do own the Wii Punch Out and that's such a great, fun game. This may just end up ruining him.
DeleteInsulting the death of a well-known Internet personality didn't. He has some kind of contractual villain immunity. He's The Joker, gone horribly wrong.
DeleteWow, he really thinks THIS (A negative review of one of the greatest NES games of all time) will redeem himself online. Starting to think he's only doing some of these videos in hopes that they'll somehow kill off his hatedom, while still pandering to his idiot fans.
Delete3:16 "Instead of throwing the first punch, he sits there and tries to wait for you to hit him first. What is this guy, a lawyer?"
ReplyDeleteAh Don Flamenco, Mr Unsportsman-like conduct himself. Once you realize what he is doing, he's cake. You just have to be good at dodging.
DeleteWell, if you listened carefully to Bores, his name is clearly Don FLAMINGO.
DeleteI'm curious, did he even mention Tyson's name getting taken off the game? I imagine that if he did, he'd try to paint it as another "scandal".
ReplyDeleteBores, we've had enough of the fucking Carl Winslow jokes. They weren't funny in Die Hard and they're not funny here.
ReplyDeleteThese "reviews" keep getting worse and worse. I'm not exaggerating, this Punch-Out "review" was worse than the DuckTales and Kid Icarus ones.
ReplyDeleteHe did try to make his Punch-Out review seem not so bad by admitting the game was good at the beginning, but it still doesn't change the fact that Kid Icarus and DuckTales were weird choices -- equally as weird when he reviewed Contra and Tetris in 2008.
DeleteThere's a high chance that Bores took footage in his new Mike Tyson's Punch-Out review.
ReplyDeleteWhy? He made it seem like he legitimately couldn't defeat the second Piston Honda, but he shows footage of the next fighters.
There is a password to fight Super Macho Man and Mike Tyson immediately (meaning he could have captured those segments legitimately), but there's no password for Soda Popinski, Mr. Sandman or any of the fighters in between Honda and Macho Man.
Either he was able to beat the second Honda (which he is pretty easy, but it is the Irate Gamer we're talking about) or he took the footage from elsewhere.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
ReplyDeleteStop saying he made up his dead friend. You have no evidence that he did so. Just because he was "causal" about it doesn't mean anything.
You might get me in trouble.
Cut it out.
I'll get the recap up tomorrow.
OK. I take full responsibility for starting that idea and apologize for doing so. I shouldn't go making accusations without proof like Bores has done in the past; that just makes me as bad as him. I truthfully do feel sorry that his friend died and I am genuinely glad that his father is still alive.
DeleteOn a much less serious note, I noticed that when Little Mac goes through Bores's wall for the first time at around 5:50, there is already a hole in the wall on the right which Little Mac is supposed to form when he goes through the wall for the second time. In other words, there are two holes in the wall after Little Mac has gone through it only one time.
Also, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble for shit like this. Knowing how Bores has treated the dead in the past, though, makes me so angry and cynical whenever he talks about death in any way. However, I will reserve any further comments about death in his life from now on (unless it is extremely clear he is lying with evidence to prove it).
DeleteSo, I'm watching Bores' Punch-Out review...
ReplyDeleteOh. God. The pain. His grandma impression sounded like Sid the Science Kid with a sore throat, and the "shit storm" joke wasn't funny at all. And yet, people still say he doesn't do fart jokes like the Nerd. And I can't believe he'd resurrect the unfunny Carl Winslow joke. And the part with McDonalds. Shows how much Bores care more about food than he does gaming.
Also... "Von KAY-Ser"? Isn't it "Von KI-Ser"? Chalk that into "BECAUSE POOR LITERACY IS KEWL" territory. Not to mention, Bores knows nothing about Japanese words. And throwing in yet ANOTHER DAMN Captain N reference. Seriously, does he think all NES games came from Captain N? And, oh yeah, more lame special effects abound.
Also, Winter Gaming throughout. *facepalm*
Can't wait for the thrashing tomorrow, Dan.
And, unsurprisingly, he over-acts.
ReplyDeleteAnd most of the comments are positive. What a shock. *sarcasm*
I'm convinced that Bores is holding guns at people's heads/paying people/making a million fake accounts to give his work such unrealistic praise. Also, the Inception ending was fucking stupid and just became painful when he explained it in the end.
DeleteI also love how Bores didn't even fucking beat the game or even try to use someone else's footage of beating the game.
DeleteAnd speaking of overacting, what the fucking shit was that part where he had a fucking seizure really close up to the camera?
Delete"Also, the Inception ending was fucking stupid and just became painful when he explained it in the end."
ReplyDeleteYou know, Chris, a good comedian doesn't have to explain his jokes. And even if it wasn't a joke, what was the whole point in it? You can't just throw in random crap like this just because you think it's cool. If it's something you're building up to for the new season, then okay, but given your track record of how you tend to take forever to put your shit together, I highly doubt you'll remember where you're going.
"If you have to explain the joke, THERE IS NO JOKE!!!" - What the Joker would say to Bores
DeleteI think he actually says that to Harley Quinn once in Batman: The Animated Series.
Deleteyep, it's the episode where She actually captures Batman and hangs him upside down in a tank full of piranhas
DeleteI really hope he was playing bad on purpose, but knowing Bores...wow.
ReplyDeleteEven at 5 years old I wasn't that garbage.
Beating Glass Joe in round 2? Getting hit by Don?
Fucking terrible skills
The 'the kids that aren't even yours' comment is fucking way out of line. Do you feel that way about a step-parents, adoptive parents and non-married co-parents BatDan? I'm really curious what kind of point you were trying to make there.
ReplyDeleteWell, how do you think he feels about step-parents, adoptive parents, and non-married co-parents (whatever that means... co-parents?). You say you're curious what kind of point he's trying to make, but it sounds to me like you've already prejudged it.
DeleteI've known many a kid who's had mental issues because of their actual parents constantly confusing them with that crap. I've known women who forced her son to call every man she dated "daddy", even if their entire relationship spanned a couple weeks. I knew a woman who's kids thought "uncle" meant "guy who used to be my daddy".
What I got from BatDan's comment was that Bores constantly implied that the kids are biologically his.
Maybe you don't have a problem with that, but you shouldn't imply that BatDan was a problem with step-parents or adoptive parents just because he disagrees with Bores' dishonesty.
I'm not prejudging anything. My comment was a question, asking for clarification.
DeleteWhat is 'Bores' dishonesty' in this case and how exactly has he implied these are his biological children? Can you cite a single example? I've only ever heard him refer to them as his girlfriend's kids or 'the kids'. When has he ever said 'my kids'?
And even if he did, for all you or I know he sees them as his kids and they see themselves the same way. What you've known in the past and in your experience hardly correlates with a guy who is engaged to someone who he has been in a long term relationship with for at least a couple of years.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteP.S. non-married co-parents means a couple who are not wed but raise children together. I would have thought that was fairly self-explanatory.
DeleteAnd I see it as no more presumptuous to ask whether BatDan has a problem with non-biological parenthood for using 'those kids aren't even yours' in a derogatory fashion than questioning whether someone who used 'black' or 'gay' in a derogatory sense was racist or homophobic. What are we supposed to take from that, that BatDan thinks 'good on you for looking after and being responsible for those kids'?
"I'm not prejudging anything"
Delete"The 'the kids that aren't even yours' comment is fucking way out of line." Yeah, you already made up your mind and got aggressive with your views.
"What is 'Bores' dishonesty' in this case and how exactly has he implied these are his biological children? Can you cite a single example?"
Barely 10 seconds into this video... "Daddy! Daddy!". Also, when someone says "the kids" with no context, it's implied they're talking about their own.
"for all you or I know he sees them as his kids and they see themselves the same way."
Yeah, if your speculation happens to be true, then it's probably a good thing. But it still is speculation. Also, it's not always a good thing, look at Jack Nicholson, or my previously mentioned examples.
"non-married co-parents means a couple who are not wed but raise children together. I would have thought that was fairly self-explanatory."
So, you mean non-married parents? The "co-" is still not self-explanatory at all. However, I'll go ahead and use the same logic you used to attack BatDan against you...
"That 'co-parents' line is fucking way out of line. Do you feel that parents who aren't married aren't considered equal to parents who are? I'm really curious what kind of point you were trying to make there."
in a derogatory fashion than questioning whether someone who used 'black' or 'gay' in a derogatory sense was racist or homophobic.
Wow. You are really stretching for arguments, aren't you? How did BatDan implying that Bores was talking about kids that aren't his turn into him being racist and homophobic? I've heard the race card and gay card coming out of left field, yours managed to come from a completely different stadium playing a completely different sport. Congratulations, no one has ever, or will ever, fail to make a point so spectacularly as you just did.
*all not a
ReplyDelete