Straight From the "Nobody Asked For This" Pile it's Summer Movies (now featuring Fall)

Yes, I know Chris posted some videos. I have my reasons for not touching those.

The first was a compilation of all his Mario Game Genie videos back when he was doing Chris Neo. He added an intro, and supposedly some new voiceover (I’m not going to bother checking), as well as a new ending.
He also deleted most of the old uploads, only leaving the first. Are we going to get slightly modified versions of his Sewer Shark and Deadly Towers review soon?
The ending bit was really lame too. He points out an instance where Peach isn’t at the end of a castle stage and wonders where she really is. Speculating on Dracula, Milon (as in Milon’s Secret Castle) and Dr. Wily, before concluding it’s Wario because she’s screwing him on the side. Then he uses a Mortal Kombat “Toasty” for some reason. What’s the joke?!
Didn’t bother covering this because I already fucking did, and I’m not watching that garbage again.

Then he posted a video shilling a cabinet from iiRCADE. Didn’t bother because these are pointless. He basically looks at an expensive MAME emulator running Android. You download games and put them on it. It’s far more worthwhile to put that money into a PC. He also briefly talks about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge, the upcoming game that pays immense homage to Konami’s old beat-em-ups, and how he wants to put it on the machine. He likely brought it up so he could put TMNT in the title.
I also noticed he titled the video with “IG Neo”, which he also did with the Dragon’s Lair cabinet video from the end of last year. I somehow missed that. So, IG Neo has been repurposed from “games on modern consoles” to “overly expensive arcade emulators”. Man, talk about an immense downgrade. I thought IG Neo was bad before, but holy shit.

And now the actual subject of this post, the return of “Top Summer Movies”. Again. Assuming any of these are still coming this year and not further delayed by the pandemic still raging. Even though I’m vaccinated, I’m still weary about going to the movies. Maybe in July things will be better… I hope.

My informant found on his Facebook that he claims it’s been “11 years” since he did one of these. That’s a lie, you did one in 2015. Did you forget about that? Or are you of the belief that deleting it means it no longer exists. Here’s my post about that list https://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-return-of-old-favorite-summer-movies.html

Anyway, here’s my recap of his new list. It’s… holy shit, 16:38?! Jeez, these videos used to be a lot shorter.

Video opens with IG on his “80’s set” wearing a Top Gun shirt. He says he’s all about IG nostalgia and wants to bring back Top Summer Movies and claims he hasn’t done one in 11 years. You can’t hide from the 2015 list Chris.
Also, kind of weird that he’s calling this an Irate Gamer video. Even the old ones were “CB’s Summer Movies” or something. No IG or anything.

First movie is Mortal Kombat which comes out next week (or if you’re not in the US, it’s already out). Then we get a really sloppy jump cut, like holy shit it’s so obvious. Remember when he was better about these? Now he just seems so lazy.
He’s hyped, he liked the original movie, calls it campy now but is excited for the new one because “effects and graphics” (yes he says graphics). The trailer was really cool, he’s excited to see Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Reptile (yeah about that…), and notes he saw people “ongline” asking about Johnny Cage. He notes how the director wants to save him for the sequel. Well, that’s only part of it. The other is that the director didn’t want a “white guy leading the charge” as MK is very rooted in Asian culture. Seems silly since they made it clear that Cole is the protagonist. Also, Kuai Liang would have been a way better sequel hook. Just saying.
“As a filmmaker myself” PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Next is The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. Seriously?
Of course he loves the series because it’s paranormal. Please, it’s trash. Barely scary and the Warrens were frauds.
“Lots of jump scares” Jump scares are lame Chris. Effective horror is the unsettling, the macabre, the unknown, good horror sticks with you. Jump scares are just fireworks. They go off, and you forget about them.

Next is Black Widow.
He notes how this was supposed to be out last year, but COVID, and they’ll start Phase 4 this year. Phase 4 already started with WandaVision, keep up.
He says he saw a lot of debate on if this will be good or bad. So you saw an internet forum… that’s nothing new.
It’s a prequel, it goes into her backstory, Tony Stark shows up. He mentions the villain will be Taskmaster and he first learned about him from “Capcom vs Marvel 3”. First of all, it’s Marvel vs Capcom. Second, read more comics Chris. Taskmaster is not an obscure character, he one of the Avengers most notable foes. He’s been around since 1980.
He’s excited for it... yep.

Next is Space Jam: A New Legacy. Oh god are you serious? I don’t know why people are hyped for this. The first movie was a stupid amalgamation of 90’s culture that only works because it’s so stupid (and Michael Jordan’s charisma). You can’t repeat that schlock set-up now.
He liked the first movie (weren’t you 17 when it came out?), he’s unsure if this will be as good. He does mention Jordan’s charisma so that’s something. He gushes about the trailer having Hanna-Barbera characters. I should mention that on Facebook, he was surprised that Warner Bros could use them. Why is that a surprise? They’ve owned them for years. I thought that was obvious.

Then he gets stupid and starts crying about how cancel culture is forcing out Pepe Le Pew because he’s a “womanizer”. Uhh that’s not it. Pepe Le Pew has had a reputation for years for being “kind of rapey”. Even Dave Chappelle made fun of this back in 2000. I don’t see the big deal for not including him, Pepe hasn’t been more than a cameo character in ages. The Looney Tunes already has a massive cast, plus… I’ll go into it in the next point.
He points out the hypocrisy of including the cast of A Clockwork Orange despite being violent rapists (he doesn’t use that word). Because for whatever reason, WB also made this a pseudo sequel to Ready Player One. Including so many of their franchises for whatever reason. It’s really dumb.
Anyway, he’s excited because they’re also making Bugs Bunny 3D. Whatever…

Next is The Suicide Squad, except not because he hated the first movie. But this is by a different team. James Gunn is writing and directing, and the trailer shows he’s putting a lot more life into it than Warner Bros did with the first (I say Warner Bros because it’s clear they tore the movie to shreds without director input). Why are you even talking about this if you’re not looking forward to it?
He’s just wondering “Why”. Because the first movie made a lot of money, and they wanted to make something a lot better. Hence James Gunn (along with his temporary termination from Marvel but that’s a long story).
“I think it’s just a pure money grab” … Y-yeah. That’s what big budget Hollywood movies are. They exist to make money. Yes, even the ones you love.
“I think it’s going to be terrible” Didn’t you say the same thing about Guardians of the Galaxy?
“I want to see something more recognizable like Green Lantern” WB is still recovering from that massive flop. We’re not going to get a Green Lantern movie for a long time.

He’s just wondering what DC is doing and to be like Marvel, but then he notes how doesn’t think Phase 4 will hit as much as *jump cut* 3 did because the upcoming slate. They’ll be fine. DC will be fine too; they’re starting to figure things out. Kind of… Birds of Prey was a huge flop.
He says though it’s not on the list, he wanted to bring it up because it comes out in September. It’s coming out in August! Even the poster you’re showing says that. At least add little subtitles saying “I mean August” so that you don’t sound like a massive idiot.

Though that was to segue him into Venom: Let There Be Carnage, which does come out in September. Also, really?
He does admit he didn’t like the first movie, but mostly because there was no Spider-Man. Please, that was the least of that movie’s problems. The tone was all over the place with Tom Hardy acting really goofy and over-the-top, and it tried to be an edgy anti-hero movie but had to restrain itself so the kids could watch. Could Spider-Man have helped? Probably not.
He thought the idea was stupid to make a villain movie, and also brings up next year’s Black Adam for having the same problem. You do realize that Black Adam has been portrayed as an anti-hero before right? Plus, it’s clearly going off the excellent Shazam. I’m sure it will be fine.

Then he brings up Suicide Squad again and complains that Batman was only in one scene and that was the best scene. Okay first, not everything needs Batman. It’s also clear you completely missed the point of Suicide Squad. They’re villains forced by the US government to do dangerous jobs that they may not survive in exchange for certain freedoms. At least in the comics (the movie’s whole “we need a team to fight off a Superman level threat” excuse was sooo dumb).
“But what do I know, I’m just a goofy YouTuber” Quite a lot from where I’m looking.

The reason he thinks this movie will be better is because Carnage, and he was big in the 90’s with Maximum Carnage and the video game. I doubt Carnage will change much.
“Carnage has teeth and he will put asses in seats!” Ooooh that is way too cringe…
He’s still hung-up about Spider-Man. “Another money grab” You’re learning!

He moves onto Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings but it’s not on his list. Then why are you bringing it up?
Because it’s another “Why this character” complaint. Look, Marvel isn’t just going to rely on only their heavy hitters. They like to experiment, and a lot of their experiments have succeeded (Guardians of the Galaxy and Black Panther made bank). Just because you don’t know Shang-Chi doesn’t mean he won’t be a success. Hell, I imagine Asian markets are going to love it.
Then he notes that this would be like DC making a Red Tornado movie. Hey, Red Tornado is cool. I’d love to see them try a movie.
“I don’t even know who’s cast in this” … You could look it up. Just look up the movie on Wikipedia and see who’s in it. It’s not hard.
He says it’s coming in August. No, it’s coming in September. Hopefully by then, we’re all vaccinated.

Next, he talks about The Addams Family 2. Wait really? *looks up first movie* Holy shit, this movie made a lot of money.
He says he liked the first one (meaning the animated one from 2019) because it was an animated movie based on the comics. That’s pretty much it…

Afterwards, hoo boy here we go, Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Which he calls Ghostbusters 3.
As you can expect, he’s excited, he wouldn’t be “opprosed” to delaying it to next year to make it a Summer blockbuster because “Ghostbusters has to be a Summer blockbuster”. I mean, Thanksgiving is a good time for movies too. Plus, Sony’s been sitting on this for a long ass time, they want to ensure a good release with the pandemic cooled down.
He brings up the recent sneak peek with mini Stay Puft, and he thinks it’s an amazing idea because it reminds him of Baby Yoda. I saw the clip, and I’d say they’re more like the Minions. He also claims Baby Yoda revitalized Star Wars and made it as popular was it was in the 80’s. Uhhh no? What are you talking about? There’s always been Star Wars media even when there weren’t movies. Books, games, comics, there was always something to enjoy. If anything, people are sick of Star Wars thanks to Disney saturating the market and the utter disappointment of Rise of Skywalker.

He thinks the mini Stay Pufts will really help the franchise. We’ll see… they could be annoying, or Sony could try shoving them down our throats like Porgs.
Then he starts speculating on the plot, thinking that it’s about Gozer trying to come back and it’s using the “avatar” of Stay Puft to do it. Why would Gozer use Stay Puft again? The whole reason it used it was due to Ray trying to think of the most innocent thing possible. If anything, these miniature marshmallow monsters are nothing more than fanservice. They might not even play a big role.

Moves onto The Eternals and like Shang-Chi it’s not on his list. Look, you don’t have to bring up every Marvel movie if you’re not interested in it. You could cut off like 6 minutes of this video if you stuck with the movies you want to see. If you want to rant, make a separate video. People eat that shit up.
Again, he’s upset because they’re not as well known. The Eternals play a big role in Cosmic Marvel and could really expand the scope started by Guardians of the Galaxy. Plus, put some respect on a Jack Kirby creation.
He then says he does know one of them, the character that Angelina Jolie is playing, and that her power is she can control her hair… and use it like a weapon... Holy fuck! That’s not Thena, that’s Medusa from The Inhumans! Not even the same thing! You edited this. You went through it to add posters. At no point did you think “Is that who she’s playing? I should check” and added some text to say “Oops I’m wrong”. Instead, you show what an ignorant blowhard you really are!

He does bring up Guardians of the Galaxy at least. So he’s aware that obscure doesn’t mean bad. Then why are you acting like this?
Then he says he’s really worried about the casting of Angelina Jolie as he believes she’ll slow production because she’s such a “primadonna”. Do you have evidence? Nope! He says he just feels this will happen, that his “third eye” is telling him this. Sounds like old fashioned misogyny to me. If Jolie really is a pain to work with, wouldn’t she be blacklisted? Producers do not like actors that aren’t willing to work and behave, especially if they turn in bad performances.

Looking ahead, there’s no more “not on my list” movies. Leading us into Top Gun Maverick. He makes sure to puff out his chest and show his shirt when he says the name. We can see it Chris.
He loved the first movie, thought it was really cool and never been done and he mentions the video game because “Me Gamer”. Not much else.

Moving from one Tom Cruise thing to another with Mission Impossible 7. Wait… that comes out next year. That disqualifies it from this list. Did you even bother to check? Also, the poster he uses is weird. It says Mission Impossible Rogue Nation (the fifth movie) while putting a giant 7 on top of it. Did you just find some fan made trash because nothing about MI7 is available?
He claims that he didn’t understand the first movie when first saw it because he was too young. *looks up* Weren’t you 17 or so in 1996? Did you just somehow forget that some of these movies were from the 90’s?
He then mentions that he marathoned all six movies during the lockdown and really liked them and something something characters returning whatever…

And now the final movie (thank fuck), Spider-Man: No Way Home, or Spider-Man 3 as he just calls it (because that’s not confusing). He uses another fan-made poster because it says “Spider-Man: Welcome Home” and has pictures of Tobey McGuire and Andrew Garfield (who are only rumored to show up, nothing is confirmed). Come on Chris, there’s actual material, go out and find it you lazy hack.
He thinks it won’t work in December because Spider-Man is “Summer blockbuster”. Christmas time is just as big. Look at the Star Wars movies (before Solo), they did huge numbers. Your “Summer blockbuster” obsession blinds you to reality.
He refers to Far From Home as “Spider-Man 2”. Again, not confusing at all.
He also brings up the rumor about McGuire and Garfield showing up. Right now, the only confirmed actors from past films are Jamie Foxx as Electro (sans the blue makeup) and Alfred Molina as Doctor Octopus (in fact he just came out and confirmed it). Multiverse is possible as Dr. Strange is confirmed to appear. Just be patient.
He also brings up DC’s plan to use Flash to bring back old Batman actors. We’ll see…

And that’s the fucking video. Holy crap that was too long.
“I’m all about nostalgia… for 2021” You know, nostalgia was once a disease, right? Juuust saying.
And he ends with “Game On” even though this was about movies. Still has that bad habit.

Oh my god… that was so bad. Terrible takes all around, and Chris is such a basic “consoomer” bitch. All about blockbusters and effects, he needs to try expanding to classier films. Find some dramas on Netflix or Amazon or Criterion. Cinema made with heart and passion, not to move merch or cash-in on nostalgia.
Sorry this was so long. There was just so much crap to go through.

I’m going to go look at my theater listings and see if there’s anything worth seeing. Stay safe and healthy everyone.