Friday, July 24, 2009

A tale of DVDs, Lucky Charms, and The Simpsons

Alright folks, we have a lot to cover today so let’s just get started.

After his Zombies Ate My Neighbors review, Chris Bores decided to release a DVD of “The Irate Gamer Show” containing the first 11 episodes. This DVD went on sale right around the time James Rofle announced he was releasing a DVD of The Angry Video Game Nerd. So people believe he just rushed this out to “compete” with The Nerd. When people got their hands on it, they concluded he DID rush it out. The episodes have barely changed and the “bonus features” are just pathetic. People noticed this as another sign that Bores wasn’t doing it for entertainment but monetary gain.

So what is on this DVD you ask? Episode-wise it has Back to the Future, Where’s Waldo, The Goonies II, Mission Impossible, Ghosts N Goblins, Jaws, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Super Mario Bros. 2, MUSCLE, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Yo! Noid. Yeah, that’s it. But surely there are some good bonus features right? If you’ve read everything up until now then you know that isn’t the case. His “Extras” include Hotel Gaming, 30 Seconds of Outtakes, Trailers for TMNT and Yo! Noid and a “Making-Of” Special.

As I said the episodes have barely changed. He added his “Theme Song” to the earlier videos, but the other changes I’ve found are small at best. He added Tom Servo and Crow from Mystery Science Theater 3000 to the movie theater scene in Back to the Future, this pisses me off since I LOVE MST3K and he is not worthy of that show.

Another note-worthy change is that when he yelled “What a Shitload of Fuck!” in his Mission Impossible review. He changed it to “What a piece of shit!” I ask the 3 fans the Irate Gamer has, why would he do that?

He notes other changes at his website but they’re hardly noticeable, however there is the matter of the copyrighted footage on his DVD though he might fight it with Fair Use so I’m not going to bother with that.

As I said, his Bonus Features suck. There’s a video on DailyMotion that has all of them in the length of six minutes. The bloopers aren’t funny and the Making-Of video stems bullshit from the highest peaks. He credits the idea of an “Angry reviewer” as something he thought up out of the blue, he notes all the “effort” it takes to make these reviews (one clip shows him setting up his garage for Indiana Jones by moving a few boxes), he also says the TMNT video was the toughest to make as he reviewed 5 games. Look back at my breakdown and TELL ME he reviewed 5 games. Also, why put trailers for episodes that are already on the DVD?

I’ll link the channel from DailyMotion that has the entire DVD uploaded so you don’t have to waste $11 dollars on that crap.

After he released his DVD he decided to try something different then “video game reviews.” He decided to do rants about breakfast. I have no idea what was going through his mind when he thought this was a good idea but let’s look at his first “Breakfast Rant” on the cereal Lucky Charms. Since this video is 1:23 in length it won’t be a minute-by-minute breakdown.

Bores shows some stock grocery store images while commenting that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, then a “flashy intro” that has nothing to do with breakfast leading into the title card. So he decides to talk about Lucky Charms and his choice of rant is the different marshmallow shapes. I’m serious he dedicated an entire video to the different marshmallows in Lucky Charms. Bores ends the rant by saying “Breakfast is Ruined.”

There is so much wrong with this video. Who the fuck cares about the different marshmallow shapes? As long as the cereal tastes good I will eat it, I won’t look at a box of Lucky Charms and say “Huh, they got rid of the Pink Heart. Well I’m never buying this again” I mean it’s just childish. Bores also marked this video as “Part 1” like he was intending to make this series. Well he only made one more rant, I guess even Chris Bores thought this was a stupid idea and that’s saying a lot.

One more thing, people noted a lot of similarities in this video to James Rolfe’s series “You Know What’s Bullshit?” Citing the similar camera angles and stock images as examples, but they are very different. Why? When James does You Know What’s Bullshit it’s about modern annoyances that other people encounter, like the security stickers on DVDs or Printers. When Chris does “The Breakfast Rant” he complains about things no one cares about, it’s like *looks around* it’s like complaining about Sonic the Hedgehog having a different voice actor, who the fuck cares?

After his attempt at being the next BigAl2k6 or Hellsing920 fell flatter then a Japanese porn star’s chest Chris Bores decided to change up the “Irate Gamer Show” by creating a “Spin-Off” series where he reviews modern video games. To “separate” himself from his old-school reviews he titles these videos “Irate Gamer Neo.” So by reviewing modern games he believes he’s Neo from The Matrix? Let’s just look at “Neo’s” first review of The Simpsons Game; this will be minute-by-minute.

Intro: I saw that he included images of the other sites he hosted his videos, including GottGame and Freezecracker. However both those sites suck so adding Chris Bores to them just increased the suck value.

0:25: (As it says The Simpsons Game on the screen) “The Simpsons VIDEO Game” Kind of redundant don’t you think?

So far there’s nothing wrong, it feels like a normal review albeit The Simpsons cock-sucking and pointing out The Land of Chocolate music is different from the gag on the show, is that even worth mentioning?

2:37 – 2:41: He says he beat the first level with no problem at all BUT you can clearly see the newspaper say “Target: 5:00, Best: 9:55.” Before that he mentions he died constantly from the game’s bad camera angles. I don’t know what he’s talking about I played this and the camera angles were fine, though he played the PS2 version so it might be different.

2:45 – 3:00: He notes the game is good for younger kids since it’s not difficult and then brings up Ghosts N Goblins for some reason. Saying he can’t get over how bad that game is. I’m sorry but what does this have to do with anything? Couldn’t you just say “This game offers a fair amount of challenge” explain what’s easy and hard about it, and move on? Oh right look who I’m talking to.

3:29 – 3:40: Now this is where the Irate Bullshit comes in. IG notes he only got to level 3 but “guarantees” the rest of the game is good. Dude, if you’re going to review a game then get through a majority of it or at least finish it! You can’t just play one or two levels and write a review, that’s along the lines of IGN or Gamespot in terms of bullshit!

The review ends with Bores doing a Mr. Burns impression. I should note that the “only played a few levels” problem will show up A LOT in his “Neo” reviews. Because these modern consoles don’t have emulators he can’t use Save States or cheat codes to bypass the hard parts. This is the only NEO review that he admitted to never beating the game but looking at the footage in his future reviews it’s pretty obvious he only played 1 or 2 levels.

That’s the coverage of his crappy DVD and two of his videos. I know it wasn’t as pissy as the other rants but there wasn’t much to be annoyed at. But I’m sure there’s more stupidity on the way. Next time: His review of Tetris. Wait what?

Oops, another thing I forgot to mention. On the back of the Irate Gamer DVD case the description of the show reads "The format of the show which resembles something like the cross between Fox's Family Guy, with HBO's Penn & Teller's BS, is highly entertaining!" Wow, the grammar here is just awful. It's like someone translated this from French. Also, when was Penn & Teller's Bullshit ever on HBO? Last I checked it was always on Showtime, in fact Chris Bores notes that he watches the show regularly and you would think he'd take 10 seconds to see what channel it's on.

By the way, a cross between Family Guy and Penn & Teller's Bullshit? I'm sorry but what do these shows have to do with video games? Family Guy sometimes does throw-away gags with games and Penn & Teller did a VERY recent episode on Video Game Violence but they don't review games. Again Chris Bores shows that he has no idea what he's talking about and seeing that he couldn't spend nanosecond to see what channel Bullshit was on it's another sign of a rushed DVD.

Link(s):
http://www.dailymotion.com/IrateGamerSucks A DailyMotion account that uploaded the entire IG DVD as well as all his videos to "Prevent him from gaining YouTube Partner Revenue."
Special Thanks:
One176 for what it reads on the back of the Irate Gamer's DVD and some of the changes.

6 comments:

  1. Chris just sucks at the gsme. I have the ps2 version of it, and the camera is not awful.

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  2. "it’s like complaining about Sonic the Hedgehog having a different voice actor, who the fuck cares?"

    Auctually there was a person who complained about there being a different voice actor for Sonic the hedge hog Im not fucking joking and he even made a rant about jason griffith (sorry if the names wrong i'm not really into sonic X that much).

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  3. Anon:

    I'm pretty sure Spax3 is who he was referring to.

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  4. As I once saw on a video reviewing IGs DVD, the guy noted that the return address was from the Irate Gamer's own house.

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  5. “To ‘separate’ himself from his old-school reviews he titles these videos ‘Irate Gamer Neo.’ So by reviewing modern games he believes he’s Neo from The Matrix?”

    “Neo” comes from the Greek “νέος” and means “new.”

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    Replies
    1. I don't know if I can credit Bores with the intelligence to know that 'neo' means 'new'. I think I'm more inclined to agree with Bat Dan that he probably just used the name because it sounded 'cool', but maybe I'm wrong.

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