*cracks back* Man, it’s been a while a since I’ve made one of these. Let me just stretch out a bit and I’ll be all ready *crack* Oof, now I’m good. Before I get into today’s recap, I’d like to address a few things.
Chris Bores’ Facebook
If you see an incriminating message on that Facebook account, ignore it. That is not Chris Bores, that’s an imposter. First off, has there been a single link to a Facebook account his YouTube channel? We know Bores has a massive ego, and if he really had a Facebook account he would take every opportunity he could to advertise it.
Second, Chris Holland/The Irritated Gamer asked Bores about it and he said no. I think that’s good enough. Here are some screenshots he sent me.
Speaking of Chris Holland…
The Irritated Gamer is in cahoots with the Irate Gamer.
Actually, Holland was invited to GotGame by his friend Kwing. The unfortunate part is most people associate GotGame with Bores and not the other people (in my opinion, the only good ones are Kwing, Chris Holland, and ReviewTechUSA).
Who is LadyBuggin777?
You’ve seen her comments, insulting people that criticize Bores. For a while I thought she was a sock puppet. Well, I learned from a “Wise” source that really is his mother. Yes, LadyBuggin777 is Chris Bores’ mother. Sad, isn’t it? Though my source tells me she does it on her own accord, Bores doesn’t tell her to do it. She’s just “proud of her son”.
Where is doctorkickles/The Save-State Gamer?
We all know he closed his account one day and the reason he gave was highly vague. We still don’t have an actual reason but for those that missed his videos, a YouTube channel called “IrateGamerParodies” reuploaded them.
That’s enough wasting time, let’s get into IG’s God of War III video. Oh joy.
This was IG’s first non-E3/contest video since May, maybe all that time was spent making it detailed and big. Or maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.
I’m going to start linking the videos so people can follow along.
0:04 - 0:18: The video opens with IG telling us he’ll review God of War III (hold the box, not the disc!), mentioning how it’s been out for some time but because he gets a lot of “fan requests” for it he’s going to do it.
STOP SAYING YOU GET REQUESTS! We get it, you want people to think you have fans! It’s annoying. Also, God of War III came out March 2010, this video came out September 2010. He could have reviewed it shortly after the 3-in-1 in May but that would be silly.
0:19 - 0:23: “Kratos is back in the third God of War game to round out this trilogy.” REDUNDANCY! Proofreading, what’s that?
0:24 - 0:40: Bores remarks that it starts off where the last one left off. Noooo really? He also says “huge monsters climbing Mt. Olympus to attack Zeus? Oh hell yeah!” Huge monsters, you mean the Titans? You sure you played this game?
0:41 - 0:56: “You’ll be following a captivating story…” okay, how is it captivating? “With puzzle-solving, new weapons, and all kind of deities to kill” What puzzles, what weapons, which deities? Explain how these things are good!
0:57 - 1:12: “Now let me preface by saying…” You can’t preface something in the middle of your video! A preface is an introduction, you should have included whatever you’re about to say at the beginning! Now what are you going to say? “… this game is not intended for kids.” You really don’t know about the ESRB do you? This game is Rated M for Mature, that means intended for people 17 and older. Of course it’s not meant for kids!
“It contains harsh language” no it doesn’t! The harshest it gets is “damn” and “hell”. He goes on to mention a sex scene with Aphrodite while showing a completely different character. That’s Pandora you moron. Then he starts playing porno music while placing a censor bar over his TV, it doesn’t even cover the whole TV you can clearly see Kratos just standing there doing nothing.
I watched the sex scene with Aphrodite, and like the first two games you don’t see anything. It cuts away to her topless sex slaves watching them.
1:12 - 1:22: He goes on to say that this was one of the best games of 2010. Okay, why? Why do you think this is one of the best of 2010? He also says the ending was “anticlimatic”. First off, speak English. Second, what the hell are you talking about? The ending might be confusing but it’s not anticlimactic. Again, did you actually play the game?
1:23 - 1:42: IG’s verdict is that fans & non-fans will enjoy (fans of God of War will like the third game? Tell me more!) and you don’t need to have played the first two to play this one. Yes you do, it helps the story.
We cut to Bores holding the disc, getting his fingerprints all over it and… it’s over? That wasn’t even two minutes long! What the hell were you doing for 4 months? This told us nothing about the game!
You can tell that this was by far his laziest video. It amounted to reading the back of the box, which might be why he thinks the game had harsh language. I doubt he even played the game. He only knew about the Aphrodite scene because he probably read about it.
Like the half-assed 3-in-1 effort, fans HAAAATED this video. Lots of people unsubscribed, left scathing comments, and so many dislikes that Bores had to disable ratings (comments are still up though).
Man, feels good to get back into it.