Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sonic Colors IG in a Predictable Way

Oh no not another Sonic review. Didn’t Bores learn his lesson from the Sonic Unleashed video? I guess not because he’s looking at Sonic Colors… four months late! I guess not every game can be as lucky Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

I’ve played Sonic Colors, and I liked it. The controls are good, there’s a good sense of speed, and the Wisps are a good addition that don’t feel intrusive or gimmicky.

Before the video, let’s look at the “update” because the actual video is only three minutes long (already a sign of quality).
Same shit. Calls us gamers, tells us he got “hundreds of e-mails and requests” for Sonic Colors to try and fool people that he has fans, then announces winners for the latest contest. I’m sure they’re so glad to have a $50 dollar MP3 player that can break easily.

On to the pain.

0:08 - 0:18: “Welcome back gamers” FROM WHAT? Was there a one month commercial break between MvC3 and this? Stop saying “welcome back”! Sorry, but it’s getting really annoying.
He goes on to say this his most requested game from fans. Ugh… you know I’ve complained about this habit of his enough. Let’s just move on.

YouTube Edit: Sprites of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles show up. Do they say anything? No. Do they do anything? Sadly yes, and you'll see what it is.

0:19 - 0:47: “The concept here is to take the daylight levels from the terrible Sonic Unleashed game and make an entire game out of those” The same Sonic Unleashed that you only played an hour of and showed that you have zero knowledge of the series.
Or maybe they just figured out how to finally make a good Sonic game. If anything I see more Super Mario Galaxy comparisons than the day stages in Unleashed.

He goes on to mention how Sonic games have been crap and blah blah blah we know this! We know Sonic hasn’t been good!
He then calls Sonic 4 a “let-down” because it didn’t do anything “refreshing” like Donkey Kong Country Returns. Ignoring that Sonic 4 came out before DKCR, can you give your thoughts on Sonic 4 or are you just listening to various forum opinions?
Bores then calls Colors “the best Sonic game in a while”. Oh good, maybe we won’t get senseless bashing.

EDIT (April 4th 2011): I can't believe I missed this contradiction! Back in IG's Sonic Unleashed video, he was complaining about Sega trying something different and that they should get back to the basics. Here he's complaining that Sonic 4 wasn't "radically refreshing" despite going back to the basics. Once again, less Irate Gamer and more Unpleaseable Dickhead.

I'd like to thank Shadsilvson11 for bringing this up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_-Wust52YY

0:48 - 1:15: “Sonic games are all about speed, speed, and more speed” Are you trying to make this a Sonic-related running gag? Because it’s not funny. Also, Sonic games are platformers that just happen to be fast. The sooner people realize this the better.
He mentions how there are both 3D and 2D stages and, I’m not kidding here, says the levels get harder later in the game. Four years, and he still doesn’t give a shit. He’s not improving at all, if he was he’d realize that EVERY GAME gets harder as it goes on and STOP SAYING THAT!

1:16 - 1:44: We cut to Bores with a large space to his right, giving away that something is going to jump into the shot. “Let’s talk about the game’s strong points” *cuts back to game* Or not… weird.

YouTube Edit: When it cuts back to Bores, Tails spin-dashes off the table. Obviously he didn't want to be in the video anymore. Bores acts surprised that Tails could do that (all Sonic characters can spin-dash).

Blah blah large number of stages blah blah Mario-style map blah blah
“There are also these wisp-type creatures” They’re called Wisps! They don’t have a different name, they’re just Wisps. Not “wisp-type creatures”.

He then shows a couple of the Wisp power-ups, and when he references the Yellow Drill he follows with “Dig-Dug, eat your heart out”. Dig-Dug has nothing to do with this, stay on-topic Bores.

1:45 - 1:58: He then praises the game’s cutscenes, saying watching them is like watching a cartoon. You hear that? That’s the sound of ravenous SatAM fanboys screaming in rage.
He also mentions that kids will like the cutscenes. You mean your fans? You don’t have any actual fans over the age of 15, stop pretending that parents watch your shit for game advice.

1:58 - 2:36: We cut back to Bores in the same shot as before, and once again nothing jumps out. Then why are you framing the shot like that? “Let’s talk about the bad” I imagine this is where it will hurt.

YouTube Edit: When it cuts back to Bores moving onto the negatives, Sonic spin-dashes off the table. Ugh, more Rule of Three killing.

His first problem is that he had trouble finding Sonic during the 2D segments because of a small or non-HD TV. An HD TV won’t matter because this is the Wii, it can’t go beyond 480p.
He then complains that the only characters are Sonic and Tails. Isn’t that a good thing? I thought that’s what all the Sonic fans wanted, they wanted all his friends to go away. Strange how Bores complains about the exact opposite thing most people complained about in the previous titles. It almost seems like complaint-fishing…
He also complains that Knuckles isn’t in the game. Well, given the plot I doubt he would be in the game. Knuckles didn’t go with Sonic & Tails to Eggman’s space amusement park.

YouTube Edit: When it cuts back to him talking about Knuckles, said character spin-dashes off the table and Bores knocks it over to make it look like Knuckles broke it. I have no idea how that works, but I imagine Bores didn't put any thought into this gag other than "how can I randomly put Sonic sprites in the video?"

The video ends with Bores saying he recommends it to Sonic fans (no shit) but doesn’t know if non-fans will like it.
Oh hey, no closing “Game On” crap. Has he finally realized that attempt at a catchphrase is dumb-as-hell?

Well, I’ll admit it wasn’t as awful as the Sonic Unleashed review but I don’t see this as an improvement. He barely went in-depth with anything, the jokes were still lame, the slam towards Unleashed was unnecessary, those off-center shots in his room were bizarre, the ultra-obvious lines that didn't need explaining, and this felt rushed as hell. You’d think that his “most requested game” would get a little more effort. Oh I forgot, he doesn’t actually care for his fans.

Now to wait another 2 months before we get something from him. Goody.

UPDATE: Bores updated his site to announce the Sonic Colors review was out. He also mentioned he's now working on a "special YouTube version" with extra scenes he couldn't complete in time.
This confirms there will be awful jokes added to the YouTube version.
Also, couldn't complete in time? You have a schedule now?

105 comments:

  1. So in summary people, who don't like Sonic games won't like this Sonic Game but people who do like Sonic games might like this Sonic game. His critical analysis is astounding.

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  2. My brother was thinking of getting Sonic Colors after a lot of people were recommenting it. I think it's worth it

    Btw he also enjoyed the PS2 version of Unleashed

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  3. @Clark
    It's disgusting how much he says that.
    "If you're a fan of God of War, you might like this game"
    "If you're a fan of the FEAR series, chances are you might like it"

    @Rafael
    I thought Unleashed was just okay. It wasn't the "OH MY GOD IT'S AWFUL" game people made it out to be, but it's nothing special.

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  4. Good job, although I thought the controls to Sonic Colors were bad. Like you said, he didn't go into any detail. He didn't say anything about the plot, the controls, not even the graphics which was surprising. Totally lazy.

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  5. @BatDan
    The Werehog stages also had a bit of fun...I think its because we're used to playing beat'em ups like Final Fight

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  6. I was shocked that there werent any special effects that he interacts with. i was waiting for amy or big to come in his room. Also are you and batdanm the same person

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  7. No, I am not "batdanm". That guy is a nutcase. I don't know why he posted old info of mine on his channel.

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  8. Oh look, he didn't say he made the game good like I thought he would. Oh well, guess I get to keep my spine.

    Other than that, it's not like I can say what hasn't already been said. Although, I still get the feeling he just scrounges around the internet looking for opinions for lack of his own, because his comment about Sonic 4 not refreshing, while admittedly not being too off the mark (I think it could have done more which I hope the later episodes do), it doesn't even sound like something he should even give a crap about. But then that's Bores for ya.

    Oh and yes, Sonic Colours fuckin' rocks.

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  9. @The_Soul_Gauge

    I'm guessing you live in Europe? >_________>

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  10. As a fan of the series...this review was undoubtably painful. Although, I can sort of sympathise with Bores on the lack of supporting characters because I feel that the complaints of a large cast are little too overblown. I mean it's not as if ALL these "useless" characters appear in EVERY game that's put out nowadays. Characters like Knuckles, Shadow and Rouge haven't appeared in a main series game (with the exception of the DS version of this game) since 2006.
    I could go on forever about this but I'm saving it for an article on my website which I intend to write soon (plug, plug).

    Oh and nice reference to SatAM. I like the show, but the fanboys are by far some of the worst you can come across in the entire fanbase (*coughs*RichardKuta*cough*).

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  11. Actually, not ALL games start off easy and get harder. You ever played Darksiders? That game starts off as really hard, but at the end you have six life bars, tons of new add-ons and a dashing stab, so the final boss is piss-easy.

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  12. Hm. Shocking. A review that lacks detail. I can't help but find it pitiful that all the time he spent making "reviews" that he still can't grasp the concept of a legitimate complaint. Honestly, I've never seen anyone suck so badly at reviewing that he DOESN'T IMPROVE over time. Some get better, some get worst, but he manages to suck as hard as he did when he came out.

    I think the biggest mistake Chris made was reviewing modern games. A large majority of his fans are kids who've rarely played any retro games. Thus, he could get away with saying certain things because his fans wouldn't know if it was true or not.

    @Batdan

    Much to surprise, I actually owned Sonic Unleashed only a day after it came out. Never did beat it though. I sucked so hard I couldn't get past the second to last level. I thought it was fairly enjoyable. I kind of liked Chip (Honestly, how is he a chuwawah if he's a suppose to be centuries old spirit?).

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  13. @ ULad

    Good point, there's a few games that have that flaw.

    I remember beating the first "Legend of Zelda" as a kid, then starting over to find it actually pretty difficult at the beginning with only three hearts and no special items.

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  14. @ULad

    But that's a different story, in which the game gives you these things so you won't get screwed.

    Take the God of War series: Try playing the game without getting any gorgon eyes, phoenix feathers, and without upgrading any weapons. You get the idea. And it's not artificially making the game harder as those were the abilities you had at the start of the game.

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  15. @pohger

    Aussie, mate. Didgeridoos, wombats, etc.

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  16. I've relized that Bores really shouldnt review games anymore. Not solely because hes not good at it but because gaming seems more like a side hobby for him rather than something he invest time in learning about or trying. Considering his own career as a manager I think he should just stick with that since he would obviously be better suited to sticking with it rather than do a subect he really doesnt put enough effort in to make himself notable comapred to others like Kwing and the like and the contest dont count as they seem to do nothing more than give him new subs that probably dont care for his reviews and just want free crap which most other compitent reviews wouldnt need to stoop as low to do just to garner new subs.

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  17. @ULad

    And for a more obtuse example, In Panzer General 2 when you have 20+ Veteran Tank units backed by artillery the hyped up 'final mission' is a doddle.

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  18. "...the terrible Sonic Unleashed game..."

    He means the same Sonic Unleashed he only played 4 levels of, failed to go in depth in the review, didn't know that there were more daytime stages, and classified the game as terrible because it had variety? Nahhh, it must be another game!

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  19. I'm pretty sure the weird off-center shot is set up for when he adds his retarded jokes for the YouTube upload. Seriously, GotGame must have told him he can't do that shit any more when he releases a video on their site.

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  20. I like how he says that the Wii doesn't have many must-haves, yet so far he has ONLY reviewed good games on the Wii.

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  21. Ahh... there's nothing like a new post and a Chuggaaconroy video to instantly make my day awesome...

    Speaking of which, what do you guys think of Chuggaaconroy? I personally think he's a great LP'er.

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  22. For a couple of laughs...can anyone figure out a basic idea of a IG Neo review if he'd review Okamiden?

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  23. How the hell are the cut scenes like watching a cartoon?! And being a huge fan of SatAM, I shall now proceed to scream.
    AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

    *pant* OK I'm good. Oh and I love Chuggaconroy's videos, but I haven't had the chance to watch much of his Okami LP.

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  24. @Arthur Arneiro

    I'm subbed to him. His frustration makes me laugh. His Pokemon, Mother 3, Super Luigi Galaxy and Pikmin LP's have good stuff in them

    Do you also watch The Runaway Guys?

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  25. Oh great, both the Bores and I have the same favorite Sonic character. -_-

    I'm not sure why he enjoys the cutscenes here so much but hated the ones in Sonic Unleashed (well, since he apparently gave up after the flying stage in that one, he didn't see much.)

    I'm sure that there are some parents that actually watch his show for advice, since they'd probably relate well to someone who's just as clueless as they are.

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  26. @PanicPagoda
    His target demographics are kids and the clueless parents that walk into Gamestop and ask if they have Mario on the PS3.

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  27. @BatDan
    A year or two ago at Toys R Us, I overheard a woman (who looked about 20 years old) and she wondered out loud if they carried any "Xbox tapes."

    0_0

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  28. @Rafael

    Yes, I'm subbed to The Runaway Guys.

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  29. @Rafael

    NO! Not funny! Don't ever put Irate Gamer and Okamiden in the same sentence! Walk to your bedroom and think about what you have said!

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  30. See, this is why Boring's a bad reviewer. He nitpicks about every single thing and praises graphics and minor features. As for the nitpicking part, he just can't back up WHY he doesn't like them.

    Case in example, his Mission: Impossible "review." "This game sucks ass!" He spent nearly six minutes bashing and nitpicking the game's "flawls," but he never mentions why.

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  31. @Arthur Arneiro
    I was just joking man...relax

    I've enjoyed Okami and I will enjoy Okamiden when I get my hands on it before it becomes rare

    HEY GAME! YOU! ME! BACK ALLEY! I GOT A KNIFE - ProtonJon after being screwed for his coins and a turn

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  32. @Rafael

    I know, it's just that I like overreacting sometimes. XD

    I love them all, but my favorite LPer is Chugga.

    YOU didn't beat the machine, YOU didn't beat the machine, I BEAT THE MACHINE! -Chugga after winning Musical Mushroom, you can just hear him pointing at Jon and NCS!

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  33. On Bores' website it says that Sonic Colors was his "top requested game" for him to review...I feel confident in saying his fans didn't know that the game existed.

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  34. @Arthur Arneiro

    So Jon is part ghost - Chugga
    I see Bruce Willis - Jon
    BUUUURP - NCapriSun

    The Runaway Guy's LP of Mario Party in a nutshell X3

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  35. Woot! New Happy video game nerd episode!

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  36. @Rafael

    Sorry, I didn't get the joke.

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  37. I just checked Youtube, and tell me I'm dreaming. Chris actually called his 3DS video a review.

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  38. @Arthur Arneiro

    On one of the boards (I think DK's Jungle Adventure) ProtonJon says he has a sixth sense and jokingly claims he's part ghost, and if you knew the plot twist in The Sixth Sense that helps a bit and NintendoCapriSun burps a lot

    Get it? ^^

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  39. @ Fedora Samurai

    Watched days ago, i like the approach when HVGN not only reviews obscure of underappreciated good games, he also gives a more fair review to some games that people overly bash, he did it before with Adventures of Magic Knigdom on the NES, a game that is actually decent but many people jumped on the hate band-waggon, wich makes me wondr, what are his opinions on games like Totally Rad.

    and im glad he is done doing new games based on games he reviewed, well actually i kinda wished he could do Shantae Risky revenge, but considering that him doing a review of Shantae on GBC is unlikely due to the almost NWC rarity and Expensivity of the game nowadays, that's out of the question, is such a shame since he expressed recent intentions to do a review of the original Shantae.

    then again the 3DS will have its own virtual console, and who know if the 3DS can be connected to the Wii....sooooo..

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  40. Wow...Mnadtab is a bot. He's been spamming the channel of a guy that he's been having an argument for months, and its the same messages over and over again. And he went WAY too low by saying the "Dragon of my Dreams" video James did makes him into the new CWC

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  41. Who's CWC? And since when does Bores have a schedule? What is he going to do next? Will Razorfist tear Dragon Age 2 a new one? Is Batdanm really a bot? What is the meaning of life? Where are my pants?

    Find out next post on: IRATE gamer sucks!

    But seriously, who's CWC?

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  42. Christian Weston Chander.

    Weeabo Supreme, creator of Sonichu, and all round creep.

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  43. Oh yeah...From what I heard he was kinda...special.

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  44. Thank you fattoler and your Robotnik icon!

    @The Fedora'd Samurai
    That's not being...special...what he does...its being...almost insane

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  45. No, I heard that he was LITERALLY...special.

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  46. People say he's "special", but he's done some insane things....disturbing things...

    On to other things!

    I am still watching Chugga's Okami's LP...and he's reaching Ninetails

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  47. @The Fedora'd Samurai

    Yeah, but that would almost shed him in a more positive light.

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  48. @The Fedora'd Samurai

    If you want more information on Christian Weston Chandler, then visit this website.

    www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page

    This very wiki is made by the people who trolled the insane manchild. This wiki has more than 1200 articles about Christian Weston Chandler, and most of them are very informal. I don't know what articles I would suggest to go to, but there is a tab on the main page that says:

    "New to the CWCki? Check this out!"

    Also, most of the entries are NSFW, but what can you expect from a manchild that makes a comic where he is a Gary Stu and brutally injures/kills many of the people that wronged him?

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  49. wow someone actually compared James to CWC?, damn, that's having no shame, even for a troll

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  50. @Gatuca

    A quote Mnadtab left on a the guy's channel

    "After watching Dragon in my Dreams, it's become quite clear to me that AVGN is a Christian Weston Chandler in the making. I bet even though he has a wife, he's still a virgin, LOL. "

    I know we're not supposed to feed the trolls, we can still cut their heads off

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  51. You know what would be perfect for him to review? Those "casual" games. the ones that people who don't normally play video games get but think that the Wii looks really fun. It'd be a perfect fit.

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  52. @Rafael

    "After watching Dragon in my Dreams, it's become quite clear to me that AVGN is a Christian Weston Chandler in the making. I bet even though he has a wife, he's still a virgin, LOL. "

    I extremely doubt that someone who has a career as a filmmaker/game reviewer would become a fat, immature, homophobic, racist, sexist, dirt-infested, virgin manchild who still lives in his parent's house and draws crappy webcomics that makes himself an extreme God-Mode Sue.

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  53. I love how Derek refers to James as his "Big Brother" in his happy nerd reviews. I think Bores needs a "Jolly Gamer" a guy who badly gives bad games good reviews for all the wrong reasons but goes out of character by giving games bad reviews.

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  54. @ The Fedora'd Samurai

    That's actually a good parody idea.

    I like HVGN. Despite being a self-described "shameless rip-off", his reviews are very informative and well-made, and by doing the exact opposite type of review instead of just being another carbon-copy AVGN really makes him worth watching as well.

    James apparently subscribes to HVGN, not sure if he endorses or approves of him, though.

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  55. ... of course there's huge differences between IG and HVGN..

    1) better quality
    2) more informative
    3) influenced by AVGN rather than plagiarized (the difference is citation, and appreciation helps as well)

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  56. And when anyone asks the Jolly gamer if he drew influence from Derek, He'd go "NO!!!1!1 I DIDN'T RIP OFF DDEREK!! HE RIPPED OFF ME WHEN I RIPPED OFF IRATE GAMER!!!"

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  57. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150431798925333&set=a.431035635332.374993.424852720332&ref=nf

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150412512440333&set=a.431035635332.374993.424852720332&ref=nf

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150407019315333&set=a.431035635332.374993.424852720332&ref=nf

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  58. Ok, the first pic is kinda cool... Everything else, well even in art Chris looks constipated.

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  59. They're still working on it? Holy shit.
    That's like the fourth art style they've gone with.

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  60. On one hand, I wonder how any serious game programmer would associate themselves with Bores in any way at all, much less put all the work into making a game for him.
    On the other hand, as I'm just getting started in professional game development it's going very slow, I'll probably have to do a lot of work for free to promote my stuff and even then people might not believe my games are good enough to buy. Meanwhile, people will buy this game just to see how bad it can possibly be.

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  61. I imagine it'll be sold for a dollar on Xbox Live Indies.

    Either way it's an awful idea. Making it a free fan game sure, but selling it for a profit will be nothing but trouble.

    You don't see AVGN or Spoony games being sold for a dollar or two (and no I'm not counting Texting of the Bread).

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  62. Good job at pointing out Chris's bullshit, Batdan. I hate The Irate Gamer.

    I can't wait for Chris to do a horrible review of Pokemon Black and White.

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  63. @go_player101

    He'd probably bitch about the fact that only a few Pokémon exist on one version while others exist on the other version, he'd complain about random encounters, he'd complain that the designs are too goofy or stupid, he'd complain about how the battles have a Rock, Paper, Scisors system and say he'd only played the game for an hour

    Preety much an IG Pokémon Black and White review in a nutshell

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  64. @Rafael and go_player101

    "Welcome back gamers. Today we're reviewing: The Pokémon White. How does this game stack up? Let's take a look.

    Sorry guys, but I found this game to be absolutely terrible. Now I'm pretty sure there are some die-hard Pokémon fans out there, but after playing this game, I'm not one of them.

    The first thing that turned on my irate nature was the title: Pokémon White. I guess calling it The Mon White didn't have enough pizazz to it. I'm also pretty sure that Pokémon does not have this weird line on top of the E.

    When you start the game, you're greeted by your Science teacher asking about you. This part is incredibly stupid, why can't I just start the damn game?

    So the game starts when you discover that your teacher is an evil witch that turns people into big-headed midgets. Then you receive a birthday present sent by your local professor (completely ignoring the previous line). Now I was expecting something awesome like the new Mortal Kombat, but all I get are balls. And the worst part is that you have to share them with your friends. What a shitload of fuck!

    ..."

    *Continued when I have more ideas*

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  65. @Arthur Arneiro

    "Also, it turns out that you have to collect 150 pokemon (pronouncing it Pokee instead) to complete the game, why the hell would anyone want to do that? I just want to kill everyone!

    *gameplay footage of him using a level 99 Jirachi fighting the first gym leader*

    The game also apparently has a feature where you can trade your pokemon with other players which I've heard is relatively new.

    *gameplay footage of him trading with an NPC*

    I've also found items that teach your pokemon new moves. Now it would sound cool at first, but half of them don't do assfries! Why can't I teach this one thunder punch?!

    *footage of HO-OH*

    And why can't you use them out of battle to beat up the gym leaders after battle? This makes no sense! Why would anyone buy these games? Their (pretty sure he makes these mistakes in his scripts) a waste of time!

    *pointless skit of him throwing a toy pokeball, summoning a stuffed pikachu, and attacking himself after the pikachu looking in a mirror that Bores is pointing at*

    In conclusion, if you're a pokemon fan, you may like this, but if not, you may not. Game on!"

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  66. @Arthur Arneiro and Fedora'd Samurai

    Those were worth a couple of laughs guys.

    And you also forgot this:

    "What exactly is a Pokémon anyways? After doing some research, I found out its actually short for Pocket Monster! Pocket Monster?! So they changed from a cool looking title from a lame ass one? Well no thanks!"

    Does it sound like something Chris would say or am I missing something?

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  67. "The Pokémon (*pronounced Poke-mon) cartoon was a big hit in the early 90's, it was only natural that they would make a DS game based off it."

    "It's unclear why they never released an Pokémon game on anything other than the Nintendo Game Boy System."

    "Every Pokémon can only say it's own name. What kind of shit is that? What if I had to do my reviews only by saying my own name? Hell, maybe I should try it. Irate Gamer, Irate Gamer, Irate Gamer, Irate Gamer... whew, that's exhausting."

    ReplyDelete
  68. @Shaolin Dave

    Oh thank you dude! I knew I was missing the show

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  69. "Why the hell would Nintendo create two games that are exactly the same?! I don't notice any differences!

    *Shows two different Pokemon on the covers*

    Why would they make two of the same game? Thats like if I split my show into two different shows but it being the same! What an ass biter!"

    Its also weird that Nintendo never made any home console versions of Pokemon. What the shit?! I mean think of how amazing the graphics would be if it was on a home console! Whatta piece of cowabunga sheit!"

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  70. @Darthgamer

    Ladies and Gentlemen we have another winner! XD

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  71. The things he would probaly circle:

    Your main character,
    the pokémon,
    the HP bar.

    "When you finally get to your first battle, you just get your ass handed to you!
    *shows footage of him using stat attacks*
    The goal in this game is to stop the evil Team Plasma from conquering the world. Wow, that's some heavy shit. And N? Who is this guy, and what kind of name is N anyway? This is about as confusing as the title of Goonies 2.
    So I get to battle N, and obviously I try to catch his Pokémon, but the game won't fuvking let me! Don't be a thief? Grand Theft Auto lets you steal things, so why doesn't this game?
    I should also mention that this game is for kids, therefore it sucks. Dickwaffles. No wonder there weren't any other Pokémon games.
    Actually there are.
    What? Just hold the phone here!
    So after doing some research, I found out that there are more Pokémon games! You mean they made more games of this shit? How the fuck was this series popular enough to spawn so many games?
    So I went to some internet forums, and thank god I found people agreeing with me.
    So final veridict: If you're one of my 8-year old fans, then you might like this game. Otherwise, this game is horrible!
    So Pokémon White *pause* is a piece of shit. *throws obviously empty box*"

    Whew, this took quite a while to put together, what do you guys think of my Irate Gamer impression?

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  72. Ladies and gentlemen, Arthur Arnerio and his oscar winning performance.

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  73. I'd also like to say that I kinda stopped caring about pokemon around the third generation. It wasn't that it started sucking, the whole turn based rpg thing hasn't quite gotten stale yet, but I never could get over the concept of the game anymore.

    Here you are, a 12 year old child, venturing off into the wilderness with no parental supervision, no supplies or clothing, off to seek fame. you do this by commanding your little super powered monster (that you had beaten to a pulp by your other super powered monster and and was brainwashed by being shrunk down into sphere with no air, food or water) to defeat other people's monsters. essentially it all comes down to a super powered cock fight with a leader of a criminal organization that has some nefarious goal, but must be stopped by a child and not the proper authorities.

    This whole thing first dawned on me when I was looking through all the pokemon in my pc and happened upon the shiny mighteyena (Lucky, I know) that I named after my own dog. Now, why would I store all of the creatures that the game keeps telling me are my partners, friends and family, in a storage department? that's slavery, not friendship! The domestication of animals is a different story. lets go with hunting dogs. now, I'm pretty sure that the whole thing went down like this. Two people see the animals and realize that they're good at hunting. they catch them, let them do something that they wanted them to do, and gave them food. The animal thinks and say "Hey, I can get something good outta this deal" so the two both learn to work together over time and develop a bond that's based around getting food and helping each other. That's basically how we have guard and sled dogs.

    But these animals in the game are doing nothing but fighting. Getting brutally beat up in the process. And let us not forget some of the legendary pokemon that are basically GODS. Now, think of it this way. You caught a GOD. Can you imagine what someone with a 12 year old's mindset would do with a god at their beck and call? But whatever, it's just a game. I'm going way too deep into this.

    Also, I just don't care about sonic anymore. Sonic unleashed was the last straw. Not a single thing could get me back into Sonic. Actually, no. Here's what you would have to do:

    Take the day level gameplay from sonic unleashed and make them solely 3D, no 2D transitions.

    No more human characters. It's weird, and raises so many questions about continuity.

    No talking. I don't care who you have in the voice acting cast, they will always suck. Sonic sounds like the asshats I'd punch in High school for being sarcastic douchebags, Knuckles sounds like a surfer dude, and Tails STILL sounds like a five year old girl (I know, a girl voices him, but it still makes no sense when they could get a guy to voice a GUY). The only one that sounds sort of okay is eggman.

    KILL EVERY CHARACTER.

    Jet
    Wave
    Omega
    Storm
    Rouge
    Espio
    Vector
    Shadow
    Charmy
    Big
    Cream
    Cheese
    Tikal
    Vanilla
    Blaze
    Silver
    Emerl

    And anyone else who isn't named Sonic, Metal Sonic, Tails, Eggman and Knuckles. Sonic has probably the largest cast of any franchise, and he doesn't need more than half of them. I;m amazed I even remembered these godamned furries, most of them had just one game! Or do we really need a spin off for Big the Fucking Cat? All of these little monsters are the reason why my brother stopped playing them early on in our lives. You ever heard of the word "Hentai"? He accidentally clicked that in a sonic the hedgehog forum and what's left is a broken, anger filled shell of a man. lashing out at anything that has two legs, a tail, and hair all over it's body. These characters killed my fucking brother, and I want him back!

    Okay, I'm going to throw up, having Sonic 2006 flashbacks.

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  74. About CWC - i heard that he's autistic, or at least has some pretty heavy Asperger's Syndrome. Having Asperger's myself, I'd like to say that we're not ALL like that idiot, and while I've never read Sonichu, I've read the TV Tropes page. CWC is trying to use Sonichu as a way to deal with real-life issues, but he's too blatant about it and does some pretty creepy stuff with it. I myself am an aspiring writer (I'm currently writing two stories, one is a parody of traditional superhero stories and the other is a medieval fantasy) and I think it's pretty sad how obvious it is that the story is a thinly veiled fantasy about what he wishes life were like. The comparison with James holds no ground - James' "Dragon In My Dreams" video was inspiring and was even a bit of a Tear Jerker, showing an influence that made him what he is today. CWC, however, takes his real-life problems and tries to utterly destroy them in his own imaginary world. They're nothing alike.

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  75. *whistle* Looks like we lost Fedora'd Samurai...a shame really...he thought too deep on the Pokémon series and then started ranting on the Sonic series and that changed him forever...

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  76. @The Fedora'd Samurai
    I can understand your frustration (fustration ha ha I'm funnee) with the series but really I've got ask, am I the only one who doesn't find the large cast that big of a deal? You can't blame Sonic Team for expanding their franchise's universe. Capcom does it with Mega Man, Nintendo does it with Zelda, so why is it such a crime for Sonic Team with Sonic? I also find it hiliarious that when the Sonic comics (which aren't of the same continuity as the games, I'll get to that later) introduce a lot of new characters, people almost never complain, but when the games do the exact same thing, it's suddenly "a major problem which is killing the franchise!" If anything the comics' cast is 3X as big as the games' cast.

    In regard to human characters, it doesn't really raise that many questions about continuity considering the original Japanese continuity, which is now applied to every region, states that the series has always taken place on Earth. It was just Sega of America and Europe that completely rewrote the continuity in the early 90s and started following Japan's continuity from Sonic Adventure onward.
    The only continuity problem I have with the Earth setting is how inconsistant Sonic Team is with the geography of Earth (Unleashed completely changed what the planet looked like in previous games).

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  77. @Zonic94

    Hm...I never noticed. I just thought that was a alternate dimention of Earth to me, since there's a ton of alternate worlds in the Sonic series, both in the games and in the comics

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  78. I'm with Random Man here. I know a few people with a case of Asperger's Syndrome and they are nothing like CWC. It's a shame he's linked with that "disability".

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  79. @Zonic94

    I think it's a matter of how the characters are used. A good majority of them seemed to be just tossed into games without reason. When it comes to, say Mario, when a character it introduced, like Fawful (I LOVE that little guy), they serve a purpose to the story. Same with Megaman. As for the comics, haven't read them but I've heard about the numerous characters. I favorite character that I've SEEN is Scrouge the Hedgehog.

    @The Fedora'd Samurai

    Oh, come now. I will say this... Pokemon is without a doubt one of the most overrated rpg's of all time. Not to say I don't enoy it, but it's the lack of progression in the series that kills it. I mean seriously, how many changes has the series underwent? Different Pokemon... um... minigames... and that's it. I won't go into the anime. We'd be here all day.

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  80. @VinceThePhilosopher

    I really don't get what you were trying to say, how does the lack of progression kill the series? It can't really progress any further than:
    More pokémon,
    better graphics,
    more minigames,
    more items,
    more music.
    It just wouldn't be Pokémon if it had more things than these with each installment. There's cliche, and there's tradition. The Pokémon series uses the latter.

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  81. What Vince said. It's not just about the characters. It's how they're used. The criticism that I have many of the later final fantasy games is that they throw in far too many characters that could just easily been left out. Rikku, Kimhari, Tidus, these guys could have all been left out. Sonic team however, believes that More Characters = story.

    Now, I pitched an idea to a friend of mine about a pokemon game. one that was a console sort of crime mystery, because let's face it, collecting them all is getting pretty damn old. I was going on about how it would be a sort of action game, you'd call in your pokemon and you would fight criminals while your pokemon would go after the bigger pokemon. Sort of like Dead to rights without the brutality and firearms. Also, stealth elements would be pretty awesome along with some puzzles too.

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  82. @The Fedora'd Samurai

    Didn't Pokémon Mystery Dungeon do this?

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  83. @ Rafael & The Fedora'd Samurai
    Autism isn't the same as mental retardation. I know you weren't implying that, but when you say "special," the first thing that people think of IS mental retardation. A lot of people call low-functioning Autistics retarded without fully understanding it. I didn't say this to attack you guys or anything, but just keep that in mind. And yes, CWC does indeed do some almost criminally insane things with Sonichu...*shudders*

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  84. @Arthur Arneiro

    I know. Honestly, I think I'm just a bit hostile because I can't afford any modern games (Low income sucks, let me tell ya). Excuse me for my momentary bias.

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  85. @Vince

    No prob. At least you aren't a part of the majority of the Pokémon fanbase (80% retro fantards, 20% sane fans).

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  86. @Arthur Arneiro

    I enjoy Pokémon games because I enjoy RPGs...and I might get shot for this...but I can tolerate Tidus in FFX and I like FFX-2

    @Random Man

    Well I have Arperger's and I'm a regular person...

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  87. @Vince and The Fedora'd Samurai
    Well, when you put it that way, I agree. If you shove too many of these characters into the plot of one game, it just leaves them with nothing to do. Sonic 06 was the worst offender of this, as characters like Amy, Knuckles and Tails served no purpose to the plot whatsoever. You could literally take them out of the plot and it would of made as much impact.

    In my opinion, it worked best in Sonic Adventure 2 as every playable and non-playable character had something to do. Sonic to save the world once again, Tails to break Sonic out of jail and to find a way to destroy the Eclispe Cannon, Shadow to avenge Maria only to remember her true wishes and help save the Earth, Eggman to take over the world, Rouge to team up with Eggman and Shadow while secretly collecting infomation about Shadow's development for the president, Amy to break Sonic out of jail and convince Shadow to save humanity and Knuckles (who admitably serves little purpose otherwise) to restore the Master Emerald and use it to stop the Chaos Emeralds. Just another entry in my list of praises for SA2.

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  88. One final thing about CWC & Self-Insert writers in general - me and my friend are writing a blog where we review Mary Sue/Marty Stu fanfiction, and we ARE going to review Sonichu eventually. Right now we're working our way through the infamous "My Inner Life." Check it out if you want.

    Link: http://sueslayer.blogspot.com/

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  89. @Rafael

    Not only do I tolerate him, I might also be the only person in the world that actually LIKES Tidus' character. So if you ever find yourself with a bullet in your leg, it wasn't me. XD

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  90. @Arthur Arneiro

    Well I like him because he begins to grow up as the story goes on and Dissidia didn't help with that XD

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  91. @Random Man

    Checked out the blog. Looks preety interesting

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  92. @Rafael

    Yep, same reasons for me to like him too.

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  93. For the record, I'm okay with Tidus, too. X Was the first Final Fantasy game I ever played. I still like Cecil better, though.

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  94. You want a damn good FF game? Check out Final Fantasy Tactics. If I were to be stuck on an Island and had a genie but I couldn't wish myself off, I'd wish that Freddie Mercury and Dio were resurrected, that I'd be able to conjure food and drink by merely thinking of it, and a copy of Final fantasy Tactics with a psone and a TV with an unlimited electrical source to play for eternity. The story is magnificent, with deep, relateable (not a word/misspell) characters, a bunch of "Oh shit, that just happened" moments, and character customization that puts many MMO's to shame.

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  95. When I bought Final Fantasy Tactics, it wouldn't work on my PSone (the last model that sony made). The guys at GameCrazy said no copies of FFT would work on any PSone, only on the older model, and no one at square or sony knew why. Oddly enough I can find no information on this problem online, and have never heard of anyone else having the problem. Anyway, I wasn't going to buy another PlayStation back then just to play it.
    I did eventually get it on Game Boy Advance, but didn't have a chance to play it much before leaving for basic training. That was in 2003.
    Maybe I should pick that one up again. I wonder if they have it on PSN?

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  96. @Shaolin Dave
    It is available on the PSN (but only in Japan and the US).
    I suggest getting it since FFT and FFT Advance are two completely different games.

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  97. Thanks for the info and advice, I'll have to track down the PSX CD and see if it works on PS3.

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  98. @Shaolin Dave

    I've had the disc since 1998, and it still works fine on my PSone. I can't tell you how many hours I spent my life on that game, It just kicks all sorts of ass. I love how the main character isn't angsty in the slightest. He...just is, I don't want to spoil it for you, just tell me how you like it after you played it.

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  99. @The ones mentioning FF Tactics

    You guys are lucky. In Europe we only experienced the oringinal FFT when War of the Lion was released X3

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  100. @ Everyone mentioning FF Tactics

    I actually HAVE Tactics Advance for the PSP - my friend gave it to me a while ago. I tried it, but I had NO idea what the hell was going on story or gameplay-wise. Then again, I only played the first training battle before switching over to the OTHER game I got (FF 3 for DS). ...God, I just realized I sound like the Bores in saying that. I'm going to give it another try soon, though.

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  101. My bad, I meant War of the Lions. Shows how much I played it lol. Wow, I feel stupid.

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  102. @ Fedora'd Samurai

    turns out FFT is on PSN for $10, so i just bought it there. only played for a few minutes as i've been busy with other things, but so far it seems really cool.

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  103. I swear to god, if Chris reviews Earthbound...

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