Sunday, December 25, 2011

Year End List: Top 15 Worst IG Moments of 2011

It‘s almost 2012 everyone! The year of our supposed doomsday… Pffft.
It’s also time for me to reflect on the worst Irate Gamer moments of the year. Poorly-made videos, stupid ideas, the usual lunacy that comes from a hack writer.

But first, the video tally! IG actually did much better than last year, but that isn’t saying much.

Three Irate Gamer episodes (RoboCop, RoboCop Part 2, and Masters of the Universe)
I’m counting the RoboCop videos separately as they were three months apart. Next to no improvement from last year, and if he keeps up this level of pacing then we’ll be at the Playstation 5 by the time his storyline has any resolution.

Eight IG Neo episodes (Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Sonic Colors, LittleBigPlanet 2, Mortal Kombat, Video Game Roundup, Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection, and Batman: Arkham City)
Once again, he puts out more Neo videos than anything else, which makes me wonder why he still bothers with the retro stuff. It doesn’t matter as most of the time he reviews the games months after they come out.

One History of Video Games episode (Pong Consoles)
… Seriously? This is getting sad now.

Five 80’s episodes (TMNT Cereal, Micro Machines, Masters of the Universe figures, Madballs, and Kinnikuman/M.U.S.C.L.E.)
Once thought to be a dead series, I Rate the 80s (Breakfast Rant 2.0) had an out-of-nowhere comeback, with more updates than his regular IG videos. Prompting many to believe this is his regular series now, which makes it confusing why he still calls himself the Irate Gamer. It’s just as stupid though.

One movie review (Top Ten Summer Movies)
I’m counting the 2-part video as one because both parts were released within a few days of each other. Why did he even bother making this list if he was never going to review any of the movies? He can’t even use his “busy schedule” as an excuse, his movie reviews have zero effort put into them. Maybe we can declare the movie reviews just as dead as the Chris & Scottie Road Trip?

Two sketches (Aflac Auditions and Ronnie Sings Deck the Halls)
In one of his ego-stroking videos, IG announced he would be doing sketches with his side-characters. There was panic, followed by indigestion. First we got a video where IG and his side characters audition to be the new Aflac duck after Gilbert Gottfried was fired from the role. It was unfunny and stupid, and IG made himself look “so perfect” compared to his other creations. I am not counting the “deleted scene” (see Other below).
The other video was a Ronnie the Skeleton Christmas Special and… read the list to see.

Twenty-Seven E3 videos
I stand corrected, he put out more overly-idiotic E3 coverage than anything else this year (not counting the final category) and it was just as blindingly stupid as last year. Vague questions, no new info, released long after E3 ended while many other sites had better coverage within the same day! … It’s really no different from last year. It dragged on and on and on.
I’m also counting the two videos he did with Raychul Moore because those had just as many stupid moments.

Thirty-Four “Other” videos
“Other” refers to videos that don’t count in the above categories. These include update videos, trailers, contests, non-E3 news, trailer “reviews”, videos stroking his ego, as well as the Aflac Auditions “deleted scene” and HoVG Part 1 in HD (remastered video thus it doesn’t count). As you can tell, he had plenty of time to make this kind of shit.
This was a difficult one to count up as he actually deleted videos from his account, so this number may not be 100% accurate.

With all that out of the way, onto the list! Because there was an increase in videos this year, it’s now a Top 15 instead of a Top 10.

15. Sonic 4 wasn‘t refreshingly new enough? But you said…
IG looked at Sonic Colors this year and surprisingly he didn’t bash it, then again Sonic Colors was actually a decent game. Of course, he took this opportunity to bash the other recent Sonic games again, notably Unleashed (might I remind you, he only played it for 90 minutes). He took a brief aside to talk about Sonic 4 to say he wasn’t impressed because it wasn’t refreshing or new. WAIT A MINUTE! In his Sonic Unleashed review, he bashed the game for being too different and wanted Sega to back to the basics. But when they do he doesn’t find it “refreshing” enough? You are the king of hypocrisy Chris Bores.

14. “I’ll eat this 20 year old cereal, what can go wrong?”
In the “triumphant” return of I Rate the 80s, Bores talked about TMNT cereal. Predictable given his love of the food. Most of the video was him talking about the box, and it was duuuuuulllllll. Who the hell wants to hear what’s on a cereal box?
But the dumbest part is at the end, where he decides to take a bite. Unsurprisingly, he spits it out in disgust. Well, no shit! It’s 20 year old cereal, of course it’s going to be rancid!
What really gets me though is that on Facebook he revealed he did SIX TAKES of him eating the cereal just to get “the right shot”. There is something seriously wrong with you.

13. “Early review of MvC3? Better milk the fuck out of it!”
It’s rare that Bores reviews a modern game 2-3 weeks within release, so it came as a major surprise when he released a review of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 the day before it came out. Almost like a professional reviewer. Granted, it was a bad review with the usual research failure and side-tracking away from important topics (I’m going to spend most of it talking about unlockable characters). Now, a normal reviewer would move onto the next game. As we’ve learned, IG isn’t normal.
Along with the game review, we got “reviews” of the game’s four opening cinematics, which amount to playing the entire clip and saying “that was really cool” afterwards. With such brilliant insight like “I liked it when Spider-Man climbed the wall” and confusing C. Viper for Jean Grey (showing he never played Street Fighter IV). The fourth video even had a glitch that caused the entire clip to play again. Oddly enough, he removed two of the videos ( and no, not the glitched one).
That’s not all, at GotGame he posted a video of him playing the game. He showed footage, then it cut to him “Winter Gaming” and then it cut back to the footage. What’s the purpose of this video? Hell if I know.
Maybe GotGame will learn to never send him early copies again.

12. Why does History of Video Games still exist?
IG claims he started this series because “books weren’t visual enough”, but the real reason is an attempt to convince the haters that he really is a gamer. Five videos later, not only has he not convinced anybody that he’s a gamer, but he’s made things worse. The single video about Pong Consoles isn’t making him look any more credible.
He can claim job security all he wants, but there’s no reason for this series to go on or even exist.
What makes me laugh is that he’s planning a DVD. The logic center in his brain must be malfunctioning, you can’t release a DVD titled “History of Video Games” that doesn’t even cover the Atari 2600, much less anything from Nintendo, Sega, or Sony. Just… wow.

In 2007, Chris started selling an Irate Gamer t-shirt. It was bland and unappealing. Shortly afterward he released a rushed DVD of his first 11 episodes. People quickly called it out as garbage and an obvious cash-grab to beat the AVGN’s first DVD. Afterwards things were silent for a long time.
This year, we got a lot of shit. Not only did IG have his first DVD “professionally pressed” with a new box art, but he released volume 2 and 3 at the same time. Along with that, a new t-shirt and a… mouse pad?
The t-shirt and mouse pad have an extremely ugly design that looks like a kid was playing with mustard and chocolate. Why anyone would want to wear something that ugly in public is beyond me, and I’m blind to fashion. The mouse pad also looks like it was made with tissue paper.
I can’t say much else about the DVDs as nobody has uploaded the contents online and there’s no way in hell I’m giving him my own money. Judging by Charlie/2600theatari’s video of him spazzing out over the DVD, it looks just as flimsy as before.

10. “I’m a huge Mortal Kombat fan, but the classic games aren’t very good”
IG has gone on and on about being a massive Mortal Kombat fan, even using it as a flimsy justification for hating Tekken 6 (which was already a bad excuse for not knowing Tekken is a fighting game). So when he released a video reviewing Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection, people were expecting a heavily biased love-fest that would bore us all to tears. What we got instead was Bores outing himself as a massive hypocrite.
Going on about how he loved the originals, playing the first on Sega CD (such an obvious lie) he ended the review saying “these aren’t good because the new one left me jaded”. What the hell does that mean? The best I can think of is “I’ve been lying this whole time but I suck at covering it up” It would be like a Zelda fan that loved Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening, gush about them for ages, play Skyward Sword, play the old games and say “Wow, those old games were really lame”. IG was never a Mortal Kombat fan.

9. “People think I’m turning decent? I can’t have that! I‘ll dress as Skeletor!”
Despite the stupidity of eating 20 year old cereal and talking about a box for three minutes in his return to I Rate the 80s, people still found it better than his normal output. He followed up with a Micro Machines video that even some of the haters said was decent (I don’t see it). Prompting people to believe he’s finally redeeming himself and he’ll actually become- NOPE!
He followed with a look at Masters of the Universe action figures. It had research failure, horrible gags, non-existent reviewing (listing off the figures is the same as reviewing right?) and idiotic sketches with Chris dressed as Skeletor (without wearing a shirt), IG doing the laziest He-Man transformation ever (no changes!) and a completely random reference to the Trix Rabbit (that still shows research failure, it was the kids that said “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids” not the Rabbit!) This video made people realize this “I Rate the 80s” stupidity was just as bad if not worse than his regular output. The Madballs and Kinnikuman videos furthered that.

8. The pacing of his “Shadow Overlord” story arc
Normally, I’d point out the insanely slow pacing of History of Video Games. But after two years it’s tiresome. Instead I’ll point out the absurdly slow pace of his storyline. Storylines in internet reviews are nothing new (Linkara, The Game Overthinker, JewWario, Apollo Z. Hack, etc.), and while enjoyable to many, some are negative towards their existence. Some stories are dropped *cough*Apollo*cough*, but IG is insistent that his is an “on-going epic”. That would be nice if it MADE ANY PROGRESS! Not just in story pacing, but in actual video releases. People would probably care more for your dumb villains and “heroics” if they were more common. But no, it’s just as sluggish as … everything else he does.

7. “Robot invasions are boring, I want to tell a fantasy story!”
When IG started his storyline, the first arc was a robot invasion story. His Odyssey was stolen (7-Up Spot) and it somehow made robots that started invading a nearby city (RoboCop). What did IG do? Send out the newly-reformed R.O.B. to one-shot them all as he sat on his ass playing RoboCop games. … Weaaaak. For added let-down, Evil Gamer attempts to stop R.O.B. but doesn’t put up any resistance as R.O.B. casually shoots him. For someone that complains about the endings in video games all the time, you have major issues setting up your own.
At first, I didn’t think it was the ending as his website listed the following episode as the “Robot War Aftermath” (Pffft, war). … We didn’t get that.
Instead we got a complete shift in tone and genre. Nothing about the previous arc was brought up other than R.O.B. being his sidekick and a brief mention of Shadow Overlord. It’s almost like it never happened.
Instead of robots and sci-fi, IG gets a magical sword that powers him up a/la He-Man but lazier (all he did was change into a red shirt, and somehow that’s still better than the transformation mentioned above). Then the ending reveals he’s “the chosen one” that must defeat Shadow Overlord, further cementing his massive Sue status. The jarring transition only serves to show that Chris is obviously making this up as he goes along, and for someone planning out a story this is a BAD MOVE!

6. “Here’s my Christmas special. An annoying Jewish stereotype singing!”
IG and holiday specials have never got along.
In 2007, all he did was release a montage of his videos with a snow overlay, then cut to him saying Merry Christmas to everyone followed by a random Bullet Bill flying by him. Because “herp derp I can do sprites” or something. Oh, and an Elf Yourself video with IG, Tony, Ronnie, and Devil Bores (because nothing says Merry Christmas like the prince of darkness!) This video got removed from YouTube.
2008 saw the most effort with two Top 5 lists of his favorite NES and DS games.
2009 had a shoe-horned bit at the end of his Kool-Aid Man video.
2010 had… nothing! I think all we got was some text on his site.
This year though, he did something vastly different. Something… wretched and foul. A macrocosm of concentrated annoyance.
Ronnie the Skeleton *sighs* singing.
Ronnie invites his… family. This includes his “French brother” Dirk and his mother *holds back vomit*. Then they start singing Deck the Halls with Ronnie and Dirk trying to upstage each other, along with some really lame slapstick. The Three Stooges they are not.
Yes, it’s the same Dirk from the “Days of Our Skeletons” joke. So he hired his brother to be an actor, and why does his brother have a French accent anyway? God damn it I’m over thinking this again!
At some points, Bores doesn’t even bother disguising his voice. It really is a painful video, I wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t sit through all of it, and it’s only 2 minutes long!
Here’s the best part, he’s actually SELLING an MP3 on his site. Annoy your friends with a nasally Jewish person singing a Christmas song. How does Bores not notice Ronnie sounds like a stereotypical Jew?

5. “I don’t like change! Kirby must eat not play with yarn!”
At E3 2010, Bores kept saying he was not impressed with Kirby’s Epic Yarn. Months later in his review of Donkey Kong Country Returns, he called Epic Yarn a “let-down”. After bags of hate-mail he released a review of it in January.
What we got was a highly hypocritical whiny review that amounted to “Waaah I don’t like change!”
His constant complaining about the easy difficulty only made him look like massive hypocrite given his constant complaints about games being too hard. He clearly had no idea how the medal system or beads worked. What’s strange is he loves the Lego Star Wars games and those have a similar punishment for “dying”.
Given his obsession with food, I imagine Kirby’s inability to eat enemies is why he hated this game. It got so whiny that he complained that there were TOO MANY bonus levels. What kind of shithead does that?
That’s not even getting into the horrible “Facepalm” gag he was doing. We’re not eight years old Chris, we know what a Facepalm is!
Even after the review came out, he continued to salt the wound by reminding us how much he hated Epic Yarn in small videos about Kirby’s Return to Dreamland. We get it! Move on!

4. “FREE STUFF FREE STUFF! Please subscribe to me I neeeeed it!”
Chris is no stranger to contests, having given away a free PS3 and some free energy drinks in the past. It often seemed like a way to regain lost subscribers after putting out really bad videos.
2011 saw a massive increase in contests. It was such a scam yet nobody saw it. Giving away obsolete plastic shit or his own merch, either way it was obvious subscriber bait.
At one point, he started doing WEEKLY contests. He was screaming desperation now. He couldn’t even keep up with it as after a month he declared they’d be bi-weekly now, and even then he hasn’t kept that promise.
Strange how a guy that got his start ripping off people better than him has now reduced himself to giving away stuff in order to keep fans, rather than produce actual content.

3. The RoboCop review
Of the three regular Irate Gamer episodes released this year, this is the one I disliked the most. It was long, boring, and even offensive in some places. Completely forgetting the only crossover he ever did (SWAGshow must be so proud of you) we got an episode reintroducing Tony as a violent asshole, a horrible Days of Our Lives parody with Ronnie, a review that shows IG has never seen the movie, an unfunny scene with IG shooting the cast of That 70’s Show, the most generic robots ever, an out-of-nowhere heel face turn for R.O.B. that Tony somehow built of nowhere since he disintegrated in the R.O.B. episodes, and overall it suuuuucked. Yet somehow we’re supposed to buy this his epic storyline when it’s about as “epic” as grating cheese.
Oh and a joke that’s not only worse than “Call 911 I was ROBbed”, but overly explained because he thinks we’re idiots.

2. “Three games in six minutes? I can do better! How about four games in three minutes?”
My worst moment from last year was the abysmal 3-in-1 review. It showed that Bores not only doesn’t care for his show, but he doesn’t care for his fans. Requests my ass! There was even fan backlash, something rare for IG since he blocks all kinds of criticism.
Did he learn from this and realize he should honor & respect his requests? NOPE!
In fact, he did worse. He reviewed four games and gave even less time and effort to them. Green Lantern has upgrades? Yeah, like every other God of War clone. Lego Star Wars has new stuff? Like what? That’s literally all he said! Mario’s Sports Mix is repetitive? Well yeah, it’s a sports game. They usually are! Shattered Dimensions got the most time and even then it was half-assed. The video was lazy, sloppy, and represents everything wrong with the Irate Gamer.
What shocks me is that the fans were saying it was amazing. Seriously? Are you that easily entertained that “it has new stuff” is good enough for you? This only further convinces me that most of his audience consists of kids.

1. “Blowing up game companies is hilarious! There’s no way this can backfire on me.”
GotGame once again brought IG to E3 this year, and somehow gave him even more interviews and press access. He got into every major conference… except for one.
Due to overbooking or other issues, IG (and perhaps the rest of the GotGame crew) couldn’t get into the Ubisoft conference. A normal person would be disappointed but they would move on. IG on the other hand… good lord.
He made a response video outside of the theater the conference was taking place, talking tough like he’s someone you shouldn’t mess with, tells his camera man to take out a “button” which was really the camera’s lens cap, IG “presses” it, and it cuts to an image of Ubisoft’s office exploding. … What the fuck?
This is immensely unprofessional. Say what you will about Spoony screaming “BETRAYAL” after seeing the new XCOM, at least he didn’t threaten violence! This only shows Chris Bores is an unprofessional douchebag that shouldn’t be allowed at events.
But you hear the fanboys saying “oh it’s a joke, don’t take it seriously” NO! Directly addressing a major company with a THREAT OF VIOLENCE is not a joke. Not only does it look bad for Bores, it looks bad for GotGame. I wouldn’t be surprised if at next year’s E3, Ubisoft forbids them from entering because of that video. I’m surprised GotGame didn’t punish him or kick him off the site for that.
And why did IG care so much? Is he a major Ubisoft fan? Is he obsessed with Assassin’s Creed and needs to find out if the next game has Ezio or not? What games has he even reviewed from Ubisoft? *looks* Turtles in Time Reshelled. That’s it! So why did he care so much?
The video was a disgusting display of journalism, Bores should be ashamed of himself and if GotGame has any sense they won’t bring him to E3 2012.

So those are my Worst IG Moments of 2011. One hell of a year everyone. It was so bad that I asked you to give your worst moment, and here they are!

Arthur Arneiro: Kirby’s Epic Yarn review
The Bastard Gamer: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection review
BattleFeverJ: Ubisoft E3 video
blueluigi: Bringing back I Rate the 80s
claudiocardenas92: The ROB-O-Cop joke in the RoboCop review
Cody S.: The 4-in-1 Video Game Roundup
Deliverance115: The overabundance of contests
Derek: The Days of Our Skeletons joke in the RoboCop review
DLAbaoaqu: The 4-in-1 Video Game Roundup
Doresh: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection review
Dromador: The Facepalm joke in the Kirby’s Epic Yarn review
EricKirby: Masters of the Universe video game review
F.A. Whitehead: Kirby’s Epic Yarn review
fattoler: Shirtless Skeletor Bores in the He-Man action figures review
gostars3000: Showing footage of China instead of Japan in the Kinnikuman review
Gr. Rock-River: Eating 20 year old cereal in the TMNT cereal review
Guru Larry: Ubisoft E3 video
Hegerfors: Resident Evil Operation Raccoon City E3 video
InanimateGamer: The continuity failure in the RoboCop review (Tony being hand drawn in high school when he used to be a sprite, Wise Sage knowing him in high school despite the Contra review).
Jamin T.: The ROB-O-Cop joke in the RoboCop review
Keith: The re-branding into “Irate Entertainment”
Locus Ceruleus Media: His semi-misogynistic behavior towards Raychul Moore at E3
lordlaharl: The 4-in-1 Video Game Roundup
MortalKombat2007: Harping on starting over in the RoboCop Part 2 review
Neoguest: Masters of the Universe action figure review
Pohger: His hypocrisy in the Sonic Colors video saying Sonic 4 didn’t add anything while back in his Sonic Unleashed video he complained they should go back to the basics
Random Man: Wanting a gritty adult Legend of Zelda as stated in his Top 5 E3 Disappointments
RJ: Ronnie the Skeleton sings Deck the Halls
Sabertooth: Madballs review
Shadow19: Wanting a gritty adult Legend of Zelda as stated in his Top 5 E3 Disappointments
Shaolin Dave: Shirtless Skeletor Bores in the He-Man action figures review
Soverign64: Ubisoft E3 video
Speeddasher: Kirby’s Epic Yarn review
St. Lizard: Aflac Auditions
starofjustice: Making his storyline a generic “good vs. evil” plot
The-CRZA: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection review
ThroningErmine8: Ubisoft E3 video
TTBurger88: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection review
TheUltimateBastich: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection review
UltimateCharm: Ubisoft E3 video
Vex: Ronnie the Skeleton sings Deck the Halls

So that’s all for 2011. I hope you enjoyed reading this insanity the past year, not entirely sure what to expect in the next one. Actually, I foresee research failure, boring reviews, heinous sketches, and empty promises. Either way, I’ll keep myself on my toes.
Thank you all so much for reading and contributing, I’m really surprised that so many people continue to look at this. Then again, as long as Bores continues to put out garbage I’ll continue to write up posts debunking him. Showing people that he’s not as brilliant as he says.
Again, thank you all so much.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Want Your Thoughts In The Year End Post?

2011 is coming to a close, meaning my annual "Worst IG Moments" list is on its way. However, I want to try something different this year. I want you, the readers, to give your thoughts.

What is your worst Irate Gamer moment of 2011? Tell me and I'll include it.
Just post a comment or drop me an e-mail at along with the name you want to be called.

1. Please be specific. Don't say "Everything he does". It can be a moment, a series of moments (running jokes), or an entire video(s), but it can't be "everything".
2. It has to be from 2011. No Aladdin, no 3-in-1, and no Harmony of Despair (even if the YouTube version went up in 2011, it was originally a 2010 video).

The deadline is December 31st.
Have fun.

EDIT: I should mention this is YOUR personal opinion. They will be shown after my list.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Informative Tidbits

You ever wonder how many subscribers a YouTube user gains or loses in a day? How about a month? Well, thanks to the site SocialBlade you can find out!

Looking up the Irate Gamer's stats is... pretty telling.
Earlier this month, YouTube had a redesign. It sucks. Along with this, they did an account purge. Inactive and suspended/closed accounts have been deleted and a multitude of YouTube users lost subscribers. Including IG, losing over 100 subscribers. This may not seem like much but considering his fairly slow growth rate (he NEVER gets more than 60 subscribers a day) that's saying a lot.
Considering he was one of the first YouTube partners, having a cushy spot on the front page next to WhatTheBuck and smosh, it says a lot that he barely gets subscribers now.

However, the purge is long over and he's still losing subscribers. These look to be genuine unsubs. Sounds like people are finally tired of his slow schedule, lack of content, and overuse of contests. I can't blame them.

That's not all I wanted to discuss.
IG does not have a title card artist. Well, he has Drew but he's not consistent. He only did like... three? All the other title cards were made by Bores himself. Nowadays he doesn't even bother making them.

I learned from a source that wishes to stay anonymous (they also gave me the above info about SocialBlade) that fans on deviantArt have actually offered to make title cards for him, even sending them to Chris. He even accepted them, only for the fans to get burned when the title cards were never used at all. In fact, that seems to be common.
BigAl2k6 said in a vlog that he was friendly with Bores and even sent him footage to use for the show as a Gaming Expert. As you can tell, this footage was never used in the show. It sounds like Bores often has people do things but never puts them in his videos.
In fact, he turns down help a lot. Guru Larry has publicly said on Twitter that he's offered to help him proofread his scripts and point out any inaccuracies, but Bores declined.

I have no idea why Bores declines outside help so much. It may actually benefit him.

According to my Facebook informant, Bores says the next couple of videos he's planning are History of Video Games episodes, further delaying his stupid storyline. So, not only will his History of Video Games series never end, his plot with the Shadow Overlord will never end either. I sense more broken promises. Just like Deadly Towers, the NES Simpsons games, Need for Speed Undercover, Castlevania, and the return of the Genie.

That's all for now.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Kinnikuman Should Deliver a Kinniku Buster to IG

The new I Rate the 80s is out, and sadly it’s not MTV. Making that last scene in the Madballs video a full-blown Big Lipped Alligator Moment. He probably saw that Family Guy episode with the same joke and thought “I have filters, I can do the exact same thing! I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense.”

Instead he’s going back to M.U.S.C.L.E. oh joy. At least he knows the series real name now, Kinnikuman, and put it in the title. Though, that’s just the title, he may not say it in the actual video.

*reads description* A new 80s toy? Isn’t that an oxymoron?

0:05 - 0:38: “Today we’re turning back the clock” Ugh, he sounds like a kid’s show.
“We must first travel to Japan” Do I sense green-screen bullshit?
Actually, we just get an effect where footage falls on top of him. Footage of CHINA! That’s not Japan you damn idiot! Not all Asians are alike Bores.
He brings up how the series started in Shonen Jump. Which one? The weekly one or the monthly one? Okay he says “weekly comic series” but remember there were two versions of the same magazine.
He also pronounces Kinnikuman’s name wrong. Not that shocking. If he couldn’t be bothered to pronounce Alexey Pajitnov, issues with Japanese names wouldn’t surprise me.

He mentions how it started as a joke comic (neglecting to mention how it was also an Ultraman parody) until it developed into a wrestling action series. Kind of like how Negima started as a Harem series, then became an over-the-top action series. Or how Medaka Box started as a slice-of-life comedy, then became a meta action series. Or how Bleach started as a bland Yu Yu Hakusho rip-off, then became a horrifically god-awful Yu Yu Hakusho rip-off. What?

0:39 - 0:52: He lists off some of the crazy wrestlers, then a voice rings out “That’s right!” Team Rocket?
No, it’s his Kinnikuman M.U.S.C.L.E. figure appearing out of nowhere, growing in size and jumping on top of him. Wooow, that was a bad effect. I sense this is going to be a running joke…

0:53 - 1:23: He briefly mentions the anime (and no he never says manga or anime at any point in this video) and then gets to the figures.
He brings up the first series having Kinnikuman, his sidekick (you mean Alexandria Meat?) his father (Mayumi Kinniku, what is with you and names?) his friends and enemies. Since he brought up Benkiman earlier (or, the urinal with legs) he mentions he came in a later set.
Then we get a scene with Bores trying to find a bathroom, stumbles across Benkiman, and he suddenly grows eyes and says “aw crap”. … Even though this was probably their intention, somehow I imagine Takashi Shimada and Yoshinori Nakai would be ashamed of this.

1:24 - 1:39: More history, Mattel brought the action figures over to America.
Oh no, another young Bores sketch. Why does he look like Mario? Also, if he’s supposed to be a kid, why is he taller than the store shelf? We’re supposed to buy that Bores is six years old here, and unless he was some freak of nature as a child then he shouldn’t be that tall! I’m sorry, but if you’re going to do stupid sketches like that then I’m going to point out how fucking stupid they are!

1:40 - 2:16: He brings up that they brought over the toys but not the anime or the manga. Well, for the anime it had to be heavily HEAVILY censored. Keep in mind this was still the 80s when G.I. Joe was forced to laser guns and toilet humor was not allowed. Don’t forget that anime was not popular in the 80s. Sure you had Voltron, you had Battle of the Planets, but outside of small circles it was not well-known. Plus, Kinnikuman’s unique art style would make it difficult to pull a “Carl Macek” and combine it with other unrelated shows.

As for the manga, well… the market was non-existent. Sure there was stuff like Barefoot Gen, Golgo 13, Lone Wolf and Cub, but there was really no market for it overall. Not like today. Plus, if they were going to make it for kids then it would require even more censorship. Because what’s intended for kids in Japan is MUCH different than what’s intended for kids in other countries. Fist of the North Star? Meant for kids. Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure? Meant for kids. See what I’m getting at?

He then goes into how Kinnikuman was renamed Muscle Man (which is a completely accurate translation) and some other annoying name changes. I would be fair to this part, but he ruins it with another scene of his Kinnikuman figure jumping on top of him. I knew it would be a running joke. Watch as he Kinnku Drivers it into the ground.

2:17 - 2:46: He notes how the American figures were different due to a bigger size and harder plastic. Wait, did you really waste money buying the Japanese versions? Why?
He found the idea of putting them in a garbage can case “cool”, notices a figure shaped like a garbage can (I’m not sure if that’s true), then Kinnikuman walks on. IG shoos him away, then he jumps on him again. COME ON you just did that joke! It’s dead now, don’t do it again.
EDIT: The "garbage can man" is actually a blender man named Mixer Taitei. Thanks to RW64 for this info.

2:47 - 3:12: He brings up other M.U.S.C.L.E. merchandise like colored figures and a poster that reveals there were 233 figures to collect. He mentions one figure he has that was left off the poster and is “highly collectible”. Kinnkuman walks on screen AGAIN and IG tells him to back off. Thankfully, he doesn’t jump on him again. But if he’s still using him, he will eventually.
Also, there were 236 figures. The poster was just missing a few.

3:13 - 3:39: IG mentions figures that were released only in Japan He lists a few off, ending on a baby Kinnikuman (Mantaro?) IG looks at it, tosses it into his disposal, and destroys it. What’s wrong with babies? No really, why did he do that?

3:39 - 4:29: He brings up how everything was over in 1987, the manga was done, the anime was over, and the toys stopped.
But then he brings up a giant box with all the figures released years later. Okay so that’s how he got the Japanese versions. He didn't spend days scouring eBay for them. Well, he probably scoured for this box but still…
He says it’s awesome but then gets angry because he wanted the anime dubbed in English. You know, fansubs exist… oh wait if your Tekken 6 video is anything to go by then you hate reading. Yeah, an English dub isn’t happening.

He does bring up Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei in Japan) but that was a sequel series and… oh no he’s planning to do an episode on it? It wasn’t made in the 80s, how can you… forget it the video is almost over.

He moves onto the rating. He loved the figures as a kid, but was disappointed they never aired the anime (again, censorship) giving it a “Nostalgic Mediocre”. Just because they didn’t air the anime? What kind of reasoning is that?

Angered by this rating, Kinnikuman appears and tries to jump him again. This time IG stands up and they start “fighting”. Oh dear lord these effects. It would have been less embarrassing to fight the actual tiny figure. The two go behind the desk, the giant hand action figure taps the table three times, and IG gets up “victorious”. He’s the only one, I feel like I was just mindfucked.

That was horrible! His logic behind the rating made little sense, the sketches were painful, the effects were vomit-inducing, he mixed up China and Japan, and the review portion was just as dull as usual. If this is the dominant series now, this is going to get painful.
On the bright side, we won’t see a review of M.U.S.C.L.E. for the NES since he already did one! … Wait, why didn’t he bring that up? This would have been perfect to get more ad revenue from that video. Did he seriously forget? Given how he says he doesn’t remember the games he reviews, I wouldn’t be surprised.

You know, I make jokes about him covering AIDS and Saddam Hussein since he declared he’ll cover “everything” from the 80s, but then I realize that there are only two things on this show. Toys and food. Is that all we’re going to see? That’s just sad.

I’m hoping this is his last video of the year. He’ll probably do some dumb contest or trailer review, something not worth covering. However, his site says the next History of Video Games episode is coming Winter 2011. So by the end of this month. We’ll see if that really happens.

What the fuck is a muscle?

UPDATE: Turns out Bores had a reason for not using anime and manga.
When asked about it from a YouTube user, he said "I refrained from using those terms for the mass audience"
... Where do I start?
1. It's not 1985 anymore, anime and manga are fairly mainstream!
2. What mass audience? The people likely to watch your videos know exactly what anime and manga are. You aren't getting old people wondering what this "new-fangled animu" is, most of your audience is kids!
3. Screw you, you insulting shit head. Once again, you take your audience for idiots. This is why people hate you Chris.

Special thanks to Zidane Tribal (a user, not the FFIX character) for getting this screencap: