Friday, January 27, 2012

A Budweiser Ad Campaign? Better Grab a Drink.

Nearly one month into 2012 and we have our first IG video, and it wasn’t what he promised. Instead of History of Boring, we get another I Rate the 80s, oh joyous days…
This time he’s going to talk about the Bud Bowl, a series of Budweiser commercials that showcased a football game between bottles of Budweiser and Bud Light always set during the Super Bowl. I feel he’s cheating as the campaign started in 1989 and thus feels more like a 90s thing. Granted, the TMNT cereal was first released in 1990 so his qualification must be “if it existed in the 80s in some form, it counts”. Personally, I just think he doesn’t give a crap.

Grab a beer, I know I’m going to need it, and let’s go.

0:05 - 0:16: Oh hey, he changed his table to something better. Instead of the clusterfuck of random toys, it’s a bunch of Budweiser & Bud Light bottles and assorted party foods. This is appealing to the eyes and doesn’t invoke the idea that you care more for what people see on your desk than what they hear from your mouth. Did I just say something positive about IG? Urgh, it feels gross.
“…string of commercials in the 1980s” For all of one year. Only the first Bud Bowl was in the 80s, the rest were in the 90s. As I said before.

0:16 - 1:02: We get our modern stock footage intended to “set the year”. Seriously, what’s the point of this? The quality is far too high to be set in the 80s or 90s, why does he show it?
History time, grab a drink!
As he explains when each commercial aired during the game, he plays a video clip in the corner. When he mentions half-time, the clip covers his face and he swats it away. Uhh, was that intended to be annoying?
He brings up how the Bud Bowl commercials were really popular, following with clinking two bottles together… causing an explosion. Ugh. For someone that hates Michael Bay, he sure takes a lot of cues from him.
Look, if you’re going to make something explode, SET IT UP! It has to be a punchline, you can’t just do it randomly and expect people to laugh.

1:02 - 1:40: He quickly summarizes the second Bud Bowl, then a random joke where he says Budweiser was on fire, setting the bottle he was holding on fire. Just because you can do effects doesn’t mean they’re mandatory.
Then a quick summary of Bud Bowl 3. Honestly, this video is just boring so far. Nothing immensely stupid yet…

1:41 - 2:08: He moves onto Bud Bowl IV and says things are “getting weird”. He notes that instead of watching bottles play, it’s about a guy looking for a ticket. Watching the commercial and checking Wikipedia, this year was when they introduced a contest involving a ticket. The commercials were about this guy looking for his ticket to hopefully win. Yes it’s stupid we didn’t get to see the stop-motion bottles but they were trying something different. I can respect that.
Of course, IG turns on his horrendously fake anger, claims that even 20 years later he’s still pissed. Dude, it’s a commercial for beer, no reason to flip your table (which is what he does to showcase how “irate” he is… grrrrr?)
“I hope you die you jackass” Our host ladies & gentlemen, wishing death on commercial characters from 20 years ago.

2:09 - 2:30: When talking about “fan complaints”, he shows a TV getting smashed with a sledgehammer. … Why was that needed? Why all this stock footage? I’m so confused!
Onto Bud Bowl V, he mentions it’s in CGI, has celebrity announcers and Joe Nameth appears. Come on, what about Corbin Benson? He was on L.A. Law! Though these days people know him on Psych. Say, that’s a good idea, I should watch that instead! *gets pushed back* Focus Daniel.
He also lists off various products shown in the commercials. There’s something I’m going to bring up at the end about all this.

2:30 - 3:07: “Bud Bowl VI marked the last of the Bud Bowls” No it wasn‘t! I’m looking at Wikipedia and it says there’s a Bud Bowl VII and VIII. In fact, I checked the blogs “Strictly Commercials” and “mental_floss” (no relation to Brentalfloss) and they both confirm the existence of VII and VIII. Though from what they say, they were just single commercials with little focus on the game.
He summarizes the game, bringing up how Bud Light won due to outside interference (a hand grabs a Budweiser bottle). This gives us a gag with a giant hand grabbing one of IG’s bottles. *yawns* Snooze-inducing. I’m switching back to soda, this beer isn’t helping me.
IG goes on to say they “retired” the Bud Bowl (read above, they had two more years) and mentions a “new campaign” and the Budweiser Frogs. Say, you know which mascot would be more appropriate for this show? Spuds MacKenzie, he had more time in the 80s.

We get to the rating.
“Alright sports fans” Pffffft, oh please! Those are less likely to watch you than 80s fans and gamers!
He enjoyed them, and we get another Nostalgic Overload. Whatever…
Also, explain how it wouldn’t appeal to today’s audience. From what I’m watching, the commercials look timeless and can be aired in any year.
The video ends with IG hoping they bring it back one day, asking for a light, causing an obvious CGI one to shine on him, he corrects himself saying he wanted a Bud Light, then gets crushed by an image of a giant bottle. Can’t really get mad at the ending, the whole video was just dull.

Other than stupidly random moments and fake anger, the entire video was uneventful. He didn’t add anything funny or insightful to the commercials, just described what happened. The jokes were just there for no reason. A lot of parts seemed like Bores showing he can do effects. We get it, they aren’t really that special.
What I don’t get is that his audience is mostly 10-12 year old kids, and he talks about commercials for a drink they aren’t allowed to have. Wait a sec… Chris himself was a kid when these aired! If he was born in 1978, he would have turned 21 in 1999, one year after the final Bud Bowl. Yes I know the Super Bowl is a family event and he could have seen them there, but the way he described the products earlier… I’m probably just over thinking it again.

I guess I didn’t need all this whiskey, I’ll store it until the next main IG episode, or a Neo video that really pisses me off.

Blogs mentioned earlier found here:
http://strictlycommercials.blogspot.com/2011/02/brief-history-of-bud-bowls.html
http://blogs.static.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/22310.html

That’s all for now.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Egotism Continues in Chris Bores' Biography

It amazes me. A man that in all respects has nothing, but acts like he's an emperor. What has Chris Bores done? What has he done to deserve all the masturbatory claims he constantly spouts from his endlessly-lying maw? The correct answer is NOTHING. So why the ego-stroking videos? Why the celebratory "200th video" when most of his videos were a minute long or less? It raises far too many questions.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. The other day I was shown this page.
http://www.irateentertainment.com/bio.htm

Oh yeah, more of his self-indulgent wankery set to the tune of the 10 year old kids that praise him for his subpar jokes and ideas. Was anyone really asking for this?
Since it looks like nothing will come out in a while, I should debunk the bullshit claims found here. Just like his other ego-stroking videos.

I'll skip the first paragraph as this sounds believable.

Chris went on to attend Ashland University to major in 'Film and Broadcasting' and learn the ropes of the business. He did this by working at Television and Radio Stations, and performed many job's that included both producing and filming News Programs, Documentaries, Commercials, Sporting Events, and more.
I looked into Ashland University a little, and I found out they don't have any specific film curriculum. The closest is "Digital Media Production", but I did not find a specific "Film & Broadcasting" major. So why lie about a class that isn't there?
In that old page about his book "The Dark Chapters", he said he went to Ashland University to become a writer (and Ashland does have a Creative Writing major). So if he's going to lie about what his major was, why not lie about the school he went to? Oh wait, he shouldn't lie at all!
I'd like to know which news programs, documentaries, commercials, and sporting events he shot, if he did that at all!

In 2004, Chris left college and started his own videography business and started filming weddings, special events, producing commercials, and built up a successful client base in the area.
This was the beginning of "Y2B Productions". Note how he said he "left college" instead of "graduated", hmmm.
Good lord, can you imagine a wedding edited by Chris Bores? "Introducing, the new Mr. and Mrs. Park! *After Effects explosions everywhere*" "You may kiss the bride! (voiceover kicks in: Aw yeah this is getting hawt!)"

In 2006, his passion for the Paranormal had lead him to work on his biggest project at the time called Haunted Investigators which showcased his team, ghost hunting various locations.
All in Ohio as they were too dirt poor to be actual paranormal investigators. TAPS would continue to outshine them in every aspect. Instead, enjoy 6 videos of 2-3 jerks walking around an abandoned building with nothing happening.

In 2007, Bores stumbled upon the YouTube craze of game reviewers that reviewed old video games in an angry manner made popular by James Rolfe. Finding the whole genre inspiring, Bores decided to add himself to the mix of the 200 plus reviewers and began working on his own review which mostly consisted of satirical spoofs of what other reviewers with established fan-bases like AVGN, Armake21, and PlayItBogart had already been doing.
And here comes the Irate Gamer. A lot of this he "claims" in his 200th video, and I still don't buy a god damn second of it. Why block comments comparing him to the AVGN? He was never a gamer and he was merely cashing in on what was popular.
Before he finally admitted his "inspiration", he would always say "100 or so other people doing the same thing". Now it's up to 200? Who are these people? Give us names!
Of course, it's far too late to say "AVGN, Armake21 and PlayItBogart inspired me". He dug himself deep, and at this point being a rip-off is no longer the reason people hate him.
Also, satirical spoof? He fell back on Game Dude's bullshit excuse! How sad is that?

Having a background in film, a lot of people quickly took notice and asked for more. After numerous requests, Bores decided to do just that. After releasing a few more silly videos done in his spare time, YouTube took notice and featured 2 episodes within a span of a month on the front page of YouTube making him very popular.
A stint of popularity that didn't last long, he is nowhere near as big as he was in 2007. Also, people took notice because of accusations of theft, not because "I have a background in film herp a derp". That doesn't even make sense.
Also, YouTube stopped featuring him. They're too busy delivering bags of money to other people that entertain 10 year old brats.

Critics have criticized Bores of copying other reviewers during his first season of shows, but overlook the fact that his main goal back then was paying homage to the guys who came before him. Overall his main goal for doing the series was for the love of the Genre and the people who spawned it.
"Paying homage" my ass! Quit trying to hide behind that line! You stole material, quit trying to deny that! Again, you have far FAR bigger problems than plagiarism. Like the research failure, the bad writing, the unfunny jokes, the offensive actions, the fact your "character" is an unlikeable douche, the irritating characters, the constant cheating, the cheap effects, the overuse of green screen, and so on and so on. THAT IS WHY PEOPLE HATE THE SHOW!
"Love the genre and the people who spawned it" What genre? Video games count as a genre? A genre in what?
People who spawned it? Eeeewwwww. Okay I know what he means, but let me ask this. Does he know who created his second favorite NES game? I doubt it.

During the next season however, Chris decided to ditch the satirical nature of the show and find his own voice and began evolving The Irate Gamer into something fresh and new and brought to the table a review show featuring storylines, crazy special effects, a cast of reoccurring characters, and cut scenes that moved him outside the house and even interacting with the video game world.
And as it turned out, his "own voice" was dull and painful to watch. Much worse than when he was taking ideas.
By "crazy special effects", he means effects so stock that it drives people crazy.
Cutscenes are only in video games Chris, the way you phrase that it sounds like scenes cut from the final video.
"moved him outside the house" Whoa whoa whoa, outside? Woooow, that blows my mind! I didn't thinking using a camera outside of the house was legal! ... Is that really something to boast about?
Also, it's hard to believe that when most of your scenes are in front of a shoddy green screen. Including the "interactions with the video game world". This isn't Captain N by the way, there's more than one "video game world".

Upon doing so, Chris went on to hold the prestigious award of at one point being the #55th most subscribed channel on YouTube, and has since been featured in a variety of articles and publications worldwide.
Is being 55th place something to brag about? Anyone interested would look at that say "55th? Am I supposed to be impressed?" He also says "at one point", telling people "I used to be popular, now I'm not." Nobody wants that! Realistically, it would have made sense to include the actual number of subscribers. "As of 2011, he has over 140,000 people subscribed." That would get people to notice!
Again, what are these articles? What publications? What countries? I know a local paper did a piece about Haunted Investigators, but that's just Ohio. ... Then again, knowing how ignorant he can be, Ohio is the world to him.

Chris has went on to achieve many accolades such as having the Haunted Investigators show become the most popular Ghost Hunting show on YouTube, and creating other shows like "History of Video Games" and "Irate the 80's" which have both become very popular with fans. Chris Bores has also been praised for his extensive coverage and interviewing skills at both 2010 and 2011 E3 events.
Accolades? Oh this I gotta see.
Haunted Investigators is only popular, because your other show is popular. If you put it on a separate channel, nobody would watch! And compared to what? What other ghost hunting shows are on YouTube? Setting the bar low!
How is "creating two other shows" considered an accolade? They haven't won awards! They're just as bad as your other stuff!
The only people that praised you about E3 were morons that didn't know better coverage exists out there. Hell, better coverage exists ON YOUTUBE! Machinima anyone?
What interviewing skills? He asks the same vague questions over and over, and I swear the people he talks to look really uncomfortable around him.

Chris is currently working on a huge story arc that will escalate throughout Season 4 of the Irate Gamer now called "The Irate Gamer Show". This was inspired by the many episodic television shows that have recently sprung up on TV.
A story arc that doesn't make a lick of sense!
Wasn't it always called the Irate Gamer Show? How is this different?
Episodic TV shows? Are you insane? You can't keep anything consistent, what makes you think you can pull off something similar to Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones or Doctor Who? Good lord!
Also "television shows that have recently sprung up on TV". Thanks, I wouldn't have figured out where television shows existed if you didn't mention TV you redundant idiot.

He also plans to continue the history in the History of Video Games series, and re-launch the Haunted Investigators in 2012.
That's cute, I seriously doubt Haunted Investigators is EVER going to come back. He just wanted to clear out his garage of unsold DVDs.

That's the end of it. Ugh!
So many lies, so much bullshit, so much disgusting big-headed garbage! It just astounds me.
*lies back* Hopefully this will hold us over for a while.
According to my informants, LadyBuggin777 says Bores has recovered. So now the only excuse is Bores being lazy. We'll see what happens.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Redux Recap: Wishy-Washy About Zack & Wiki

It’s been quiet here, hasn’t it? Bores hasn’t done anything new since Christmas, not even a contest. This can actually be explained, he said on Facebook and his site that he’s sick. Combined with his lazy work ethic, don’t expect anything new until February. Redux Recap it is then.

Today’s recap is on his review of Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure. A Wii-exclusive point-and-click adventure game that didn’t sell very well due to poor advertising, cartoon graphics that probably turned people off, and being on the Wii in 2007 (when games weren’t plentiful). I’m just guessing but those sound like good reasons.
Using the Wayback Machine, I learned this video came out May 2008 on GottGame. Seven months after Zack & Wiki came out in North America. Even back then Bores reviewed games months after they came out.

0:17 - 0:30: “This week, we’re reviewing Zack & WEE-KEY for the Wii” That’s not how you pronounce Wiki. It’s “Wih-key” like in Wikipedia. First line of the video!
He claims he doesn’t know how to feel about it, then goes into a small rant about how he either hates a game or enjoys a game, but this one is different. You mean this game is just average or mediocre? Oooh, perish the thought! How dare a game just be okay!
This guy is attempting to be a reviewer, yet he’s only able to deal in absolutes. This is bad form!

0:31 - 1:31: He goes into the story, being as vague as possible. “You collect treasure… that’s good enough right?“
He calls Wiki a Pokemon-looking thing and wonders what he is. He’s a monkey, a magical monkey that can transform into tools for your adventure.
He also calls Zack dumb as a box of rocks and shows a clip of him falling. It should be noted that scene is from the tutorial where Wiki has the player click away an umbrella. Also, Zack is a silent protagonist meant to represent the player with Wiki being your “Navi”. So I’m not sure where he got this idea that he’s supposed to be dumb.
He brings up “interesting characters” you meet around the game. Those are all characters you meet in the hub, before you do missions. He casually mentions Barbaros, implying that he’s not important when finding his body is the entire driving force of the plot! He doesn’t even mention Captain Rose, the antagonist.

He also says he enjoyed the “little comedic cutscenes” throughout the game. Given all the footage he shows, I have serious doubts he actually beat the game.
IG goes over the concept of going to various areas and finding treasure chests to put Barbaros back together. You know, you could have mentioned how this is important in your story synopsis up there.

1:31 - 1:48: Around here he gets into the “downsides”. *holds up shield* Here we go.
He says it’s not an action game but “more like a puzzle game”. Well, it’s a point & click adventure game. You know, like Monkey Island or Sam & Max or Maniac Mansion. It’s kind of obvious.
“The way the controls are set up are racially different from anything I ever played” This was the Wii’s early days when they were still experimenting. Bores, it’s an adventure game! Like Day of the Tentacle or Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis.
He then says this should be on PC because you keep pointing and clicking. …GOD DAMN IT! How stupid is he? How the hell did GottGame (back when they had two T’s) think this was a good idea when he clearly has no idea what a point & click adventure game is?!

1:48 - 2:24: He continues complaining about the controls saying it’s all you do, whining about all the clicking. You know, I’m glad he didn’t review TellTale’s Back to the Future. Because THIS IS IDIOTIC! This video is only 3 minutes 15 seconds, most of it is complaining about how you “point and click” in a point -and-click adventure game! Ugggh.
He then does a stupid gag about how it gets so annoying he wants to click on his garbage can and throw it out. He’d probably brag how this simple effect took so much time to perfect.
IG follows up with a complaint about how after a cutscene he can’t find his pointer. It’s right there, in the upper-left. How can you not see that? It’s not that hard to find.

2:25 - 2:48: IG brings up how you use your Wii-mote to do various actions with a little guy in the corner telling you what to do. On the third one, he’s doing a sawing motion… except Bores thinks it “doesn’t look right”. Oh look, a masturbation joke. A recycled one too since he did the exact same joke in Zombies Ate My Neighbors (before changing it). This is just boring!

The video fizzles out with Bores saying he likes it but it could have been better, and that people should rent it. Zzzzzz.

Well that was awful. When it wasn’t full of massive ignorance it was just duuuuuuull. Bores had no energy, it sounded like he just woke up. Again, how does he not know what a point-and-click adventure game is? He’s not 10, he was alive when they came out!
It was quite obvious he only played the first two levels as that's all the footage shows. Lazy and terrible!
On the bright side, it could have been worse. Barbaros is a skeleton and he could have had a scene with Ronnie showing up.

Yeah I know it was a short post but this was a short video where not a lot happened. Next Redux Recap will be… oh no no no. E.T. for the Atari 2600.
Perhaps Bores will release something new soon… or I could be crazy. *sees the walls bleeding blue*