Wednesday, July 4, 2012

E3 2012 Part 2: One Shall Stand, One Will Likely Fall Asleep from the Genericness

Last time on IG’s Endless E3 Snoozefest.
Bores reveals he has no idea what kind of event E3 is when detracting points from Sony for not having celebrities. He believes there’s a game called “Dance Party 3”. He also believes New Super Mario Bros. U pushes the limits of the Wii U. “Nintendo is Kiddy” is invoked with idiotic reasoning. A lame Magic: The Gathering video game is heavily praised. His knowledge on fighting games continues to fail by mentioning “limit breaks”. And apparently he thinks God of War is a comedy.

And now, the continuation.

Video #9: Transformers Fall of Cybertron
Date: June 20th 2012

*looks at title card* Part 8? Brilliant oversight Bores!

After the same bit with Steve Masters from the last video (is this how we’re going to open every video now? Oh dear…) we go into the interview.
More generic safeness with obvious questions. A good 80% is about the characters in the game.
At one point, it’s stated Grimlock is going to have a different origin story. So later in the interview, he asks if they’ll rewrite canon. *sighs* Hello? Anybody home? Pay attention!

Sorry it’s so short, looks like we didn’t get a good starter for Part 2 here…

Video #10: Resident Evil 6
Date: June 21st 2012

*sees intro says Transformers Fall of Cybertron* Could you go one video without doing something stupid?

Boring interview, boring interview, I gotta admit this game looks terrible.
He once again goes into the “zombie craze” like it’s a recent thing. Zombies have always been around! They didn’t become huge with The Walking Dead. If anything, they just lay dormant until big new movie/show/game comes out. Plus, with stuff like RDR Undead Nightmare and Call of Duty Nazi Zombies, people are sick of them.

By the way, his claim on “innovative mutated creatures”? I saw those flying ones in the last game! You fail at PR spinning.

Good lord, Capcom reps are so full of shit. I can see why Seth Killian quit. How are you comparing this to 24, Lost and Heroes? That wasn’t even Bores saying it. Somehow, the rep was dumber than Bores! God damn…

Video #11: Darksiders II 2
Date: June 23rd 2012

Why did you put different versions of “II” in the title? Do you think your audience isn’t smart enough to get basic roman numerals?

Right off the bat, Chris admits to not playing the first game. Something tells me GotGame forced this interview on him.
We get it Bores, you like God of War! You can stop reminding people you’re a fan. I don’t think this guy from THQ that doesn’t know you cares.
His second question asks about weapons. His third question… also asks about weapons. How do you get away with claiming you’ve worked in journalism? You’re below amateur.

Bores notes that there’s also jumping and climbing … and then says it gives him a “puzzle-like feeling”. *sighs* Darksiders does have puzzles. These are not examples of those. Considering you do the same jumping and climbing in God of War… Argh my brain is in pain!

I don’t even know anymore.

Video #12: Skylanders Giants
Date: June 23rd 2012

You might be thinking “two videos in one day? Holy crap” I don’t think that was the case. Darksiders 2 was probably uploaded after midnight, while this one was uploaded normally.

I’ve got a confession. After playing some Skylanders at a friend’s house… I bought the game and most of the figures. Plus, I was surprised at how many adult fans there were. I can see why the sequel doesn’t have Spyro’s name, he’s completely inconsequential. The only reason he’s “important” is that he had a franchise.

The title card is really awful. It’s Bores doing his “I’m supposed to be angry but I look constipated” face next to Tree Rex. Why are you angry? Are you attempting to look “Irate” even though this is the game you gave the most attention to?

As you might guess, it’s an interview and boy is it tedious.
Characters characters charaaxzaerazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *gets slapped* Wha?
I did notice he took the time to add extra text explaining. I wonder why this series gets so much special treatment… Maybe because it’s damn easy?

Video #13: Assassin’s Creed 3
Date: June 26th 2012

What’s this? A game from Ubisoft? I’m shocked they let him near their booth after last year’s video. Sadly, this proves there’s no justice in this world…
Maybe Ubisoft didn’t see it. I know other people in the industry that have been blacklisted for much MUCH less. Like Jim Sterling and Destructoid got blacklisted from Konami because he criticized their PR methods and planning (such as releasing the MGS HD Collection the same day as Call of Duty, giving next to no attention to Snake Eater 3D, and their plan of releasing three Silent Hill games in one month, thankfully one was delayed).

Couldn’t you have conducted this interview at a better place? I don’t want to hear the damn Rabbids screaming while looking at ACIII footage.
After two questions about assassination methods, he asks about research. Yes Chris, they did a lot of research. Far more than you’ve ever done for your show. Despite your claims.

At this point there’s really not much I can say. He just keeps asking obvious questions over and over. I wonder what’s left. His favorite games list on Facebook included Star Wars 1313 and South Park: The Stick of Truth. We might see videos on those. Other stuff I don’t know.

Video #14: Hell Yeah Wrath of the Dead Rabbit First look
Date: June 27th 2012

For some reason, this video wasn’t posted on GotGame. I only found it on his Blip channel after seeing the below video calling itself “Part 15”. I thought it was another error on his part (can you blame me?), but I checked his Blip and there was this video.
UPDATE: The video was eventually uploaded on the 28th.

“Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit”? Looking this up, it’s from an independent studio. Bores talking about a small company, what’s the catch? *published by Sega* Ooooh.

Yet another generic interview. Though he ends it saying the game’s title rather than his stupid catchphrase.

Video #15: Star Trek Ps3 Xbox 360 2013
Date: June 28th 2012

If you’re wondering why I’m not bringing up the descriptions, they’re almost all the same thing. “Highlighting this new game” or something like that.

“Camaraderie between the two guys” It’s Kirk & Spock! Well-established science-fiction characters. It isn’t like Ghostbusters were you’re a “new recruit” or the countless Star Wars games where you’re a new character. Major loss in nerd points.

He notes that the two seem to have different abilities. Gee, it’s almost like Spock is a Vulcan and can do things that Kirk, a human, can’t.

He notes that they “took artistic license” with the Gorn, changing them from their classic appearance. They likely did that because the original Gorn looks like shit. It was a guy in a rubber suit! Not a very convincing threat.

I’m searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can’t find it!

Video #16: Super Mario Bros. 2
Date: 6/29/2012

No Chris, this is NEW Super Mario Bros. 2. You already talked about Super Mario Bros. 2, you said you hated it for very inane reasons.

“Irate Gamer is all about the Mario” That’s why he hated… never mind. At least it’s a short video.

Half the video is a montage of footage and IG playing the game, at one point holding up the 3DS to the camera and giving a doofy grin.
After playing, he says really likes how Mario games get new features. Like… swiveling blocks. Wooo? That’s about it.
The video ends with a special thanks to “Tribal Hollywood: Jewelry for Men”. I’m curious as to how (and why) they got involved with this video. He’s not wearing any jewelry so I don’t understand the plug.

Video #17: Rayman Legends for Wii-U
Date: 6/30/2012

Another Ubisoft game? Is Bores trying to cover Ubisoft titles to show people that he doesn’t hate them after all the bullshit he got last year?

I guess the interviews weren’t done.
“It’s very original” Someone clearly didn’t play Rayman Origins…
“I’m sure it’s going to get more complicated as the game goes on?” No shit! These obvious questions are hurting me…

The video ends with Bores making a face and devil horns to the camera. Stop that. Seriously.
There’s another Tribal Hollywood plug. What exactly did they do? I can’t tell!

It’s been a few days, where’s his next video? *receives message* I see… Seems that was his last interview. Rather abrupt ending if you ask me. He says he’ll have some final thoughts videos soon but I’ll save for those for Part 3. Man, so much boring…

Happy Independence Day to my US readers.


  1. When I saw and hear the Resident Evil 6 video, I really roll my eyes when I hear the rep saying the storyline is like Lost. Oh God.

    1. It has just as many plot inconsistencies, so maybe they're on to something after all.

    2. I think the rep means that they made the storyline by jumbling random words and plots around, introducing "mysteries" to appear deep only end on a very disappointing note where they hope the players will most likely have forgot half the stuff that didn't make sense.

  2. Boring Man strikes again.

    How could they "rewrite canon" for Transformers: Fall of Cybertron? There are so many continuities in the series right now! The Cybertron games are part of the Aligned Continuity, which also contains the new show, Transformers Prime (which is really good). There's the G1 series. The Beast Era. The Unicron Trilogy. The live action films. Transformers Animated. Why would they "rewrite canon" when the Aligned Continuity is explicitly made of the best stuff cherry-picked from the other continuities?
    I am also shocked that Ubisoft let Bores in their conference; even after that video where he blew up their office with a bad special effect.
    I might be interested in that Star Trek game, and I can understand why they updated the Gorn. It's like how the Klingons in The Original Series didn't get their ridged foreheads until the movies, and the makeup kept getting better as the franchise went along.
    I am really looking forward to New Super Mario Bros. 2, but I am still flat broke at the moment.
    I await your word on the final thoughts.
    Happy 4th of July.

    1. Beast Era is a sequel to G1 Era. This is not important, but.......

    2. Yeah. I remember an episode where Starscream has his ghost possess Waspinator. His voice was done by Doug Parker due to Chris Latta's death in 1994 from a cerebral hemorrhage. There's another where they find G1 Optimus Prime's body in stasis; but I haven't seen that one (I'm rewatching the show for the first time since I was 6 on Netflix). So far, the last real attempt to tie all the continuities together was a paper by a Transformers fanzine in 2006, and it became out of date after only a year because of the release of the first live-action movie and Transformers Animated starting its run on Cartoon Network. The way I see it, the Aligned Continuity is a way of combining the best aspects of the series. Bores' statement of "rewriting canon" is sketchy; since it implies that he's only familiar with G1 and the live-action films, and little else in the 28 years Transformers has been a part of pop culture. Then again, maybe it's best that elements like Kiss Players aren't common knowledge.

    3. I don't think it's a good idea to make a crossover if all those different universes only feature permutations of the same characters. Doesn't help that there are som many continuities you could basically fill every Autobot and Decepticon slot with a single character.

      Although, an army of Optimus Primes vs an army of Megatrons might be nice...

  3. Wait, Bores didn't say "New" when it was actually part of the title? That's new.

    1. Your profile pic was my reaction to Konami releasing two Silent Hill games in the same month. Damn, that's asinine!

  4. E3 was 20 days ago why is he still posting this stuff?

  5. Funny thing I remembered from my experience in Darksiders: Most people compare it to God of War at first glance (Combat, different weapons, soul collecting for the shop), but from actually playing the game it actually has more elemets from Legend of Zelda.

    All the bullcrap he said about a mature Legend of Zelda and it was standing right there, laughing in his face

    1. I always wanted a more mature, dark themed Zelda game.

      Still, the cool thing about Zelda games is that they can go any direction and still be great games.

    2. In Majora's Mask you wear the souls of people that's pretty dark.

  6. I'd be interested to know what Boring Man's opinion on ME3, specifically the controversy surrounding its ending. Wouldn't it be amazing if he played the game and somehow came to an astonishingly educated, almost epiphanic realisation that put everything into context? More likely, he wouldn't understand the game at all and would say the ending was 'vewy coo' but that the cutscenes weren't rendered very well (which is true, actually). Then again, I doubt he's heard of Mass Effect.

    1. I haven't played it, but I presume ME3 has a much longer playtime than Bores' average interest in a game lasts...

    2. That does remind of something someone posted a link to on this blog once. Back during the initial controversy about the endings, there was an article on Yahoo about someone filing a suit over it, and the thumbnail for it described them as an "irate gamer".

  7. I think I know why Ubisoft wasn't mad at him. It's the same reason why none of the other publishers are mad at him: There's probably no interviewer around who's more harmless and predictable than Bores.

    1. Yeah. If they did see that video, they may very well have taken it as an empty threat. Letting him in probably shut him up this time; even if he just lists all their prospective games off as "vewy coo."

    2. I'm just glad he didn't try to bring it up. I wouldn't have put it past him.

  8. When I post on my blog, I wander back to a "What If" thought. What if Bores had made a blog instead of videos? Then I realize it would probably would have spelling mistakes and long waits, just like it is with videos.

  9. Bores made an E3 video for his youtube account. He's just talking about all the free stuff he got. I am a little jealous of his Sackboy doll that he got from Sony.

    1. I watched it. It was so damn boring. I didn't have much to say in my recap of it.

      It was a lot of "I got this, and it's really neat" or "really cool" and so on.

  10. I actually tried the demo of Resident Evil 6 (courtesy of my Dragon's Dogma's copy) And, I got to tell you, it doesn't felt as good as RE4 or RE5 for that matter.

    First off, the positive. The Leon and Jake part felt good. Especially, the Leon part, Killing zombies and trying to survive feels like RE4 or the old RE in that subject. The graphics are good and the idea to dodge and shoot was quite innovative.

    However, the game was plagued by a terrible camera, cluncky controls, and the Chris part was the worst of the bunch, feeling like a cheap Gears of War ripoff with bad camera and, for some reason, add a bit of realism in the recoil effect. Is it really needed?

    In the end, despite all that, I'll go with a rental with this.

  11. Oh dear god...
    why on earth do they keep sending HIM to E3?!

    1. The site most likely gets little to no traffic, in fact, if it wasn't for Bores I wouldn't even be aware of its existence. They cling on to him because he is the only resource they have.

  12. Looks like his E3 coverage his over. His last video was the top 5 worst parts of E3.

  13. @fusioncode9

    He probably has some crappy blooper video left.

    Anyways, Bores does not seem to know the targeted demographic for Nintendo. Once again, Bores asks for a gritty Zelda. I felt Twilight Princess is as gritty it will get. When since has Nintendo developed a game as gritty as..sigh, God of War?

    Once again, why would Bores need a long presentation on New Super Mario Bros. Wii? Has he not played the other the games in the series? It is just New Super Mario Wii with new levels and power-ups. I do not know about Bores, I would be more interested in a new game such as Nintendo Land. The New Super Mario Bros series has changed as much as the God of War series.

    1. I still say he's just trying to bandwagon with the anti-Nintendo crowd in his latest half-assed attempt to convince people that he's a gamer. He obviously read about people complaining about Nintendo being "kiddy", and about Other M, and determined the two to be connected, despite the fact that, while complaints about Other M were numerous (I liked it, but can understand some of them), the game being "kiddy" was NOT one of them. This, and him praising the Halo 4 trailer when last year he made a show of not caring about Halo convinces me that he's just trying to side with what he understands to be the "popular opinion".

    2. There's a very good chance that he hasn't. Despite the fact that the New Super Mario Bros. series has been a large part of their lineup since 2006, he is likely just getting into it. However, it probably won't be as bad as with Tekken and Ninja Gaiden, as the New Super Mario Bros. are the types of games that are easy to get into, but tough to master; much like the original NES games. Then again, this is the same person that had no idea that Doki Doki Panic and Super Mario Bros. 2 were made by the same company and thought The Lost Levels was an easier game despite it being one of the hardest games out there. I'm thinking Nintendo Land will be the Wii Sports of the Wii U, showcasing the device and the new GamePad. Bores glossed that over as too weird. This whole "Nintendo is kiddy" argument is utter nonsense; especially after he spent so much time whining over hard and fun games; ones that codified the phrase "Nintendo Hard." He lost the right to call himself "The Irate Gamer" a long time ago. He has long since fallen into "Unpleasable Dillweed". And all these numeric errors on just this handful of E3 videos. Sad.

  14. Also, him calling out Playstation All-Stars for ripping off Smash Bros.? Do even have to say what's wrong with this?