Saturday, July 20, 2013

IG Attempts the News: Now With 30% Extra Insanity + Man of Shaky Cams Phoning It In

Welcome to another IG Attempts the News. Last time, my brain nearly melted.

What tunneled vision old stories will Chris grace us with this time?

Actually before I begin, on July 19th Bores uploaded an 11 minute review(!) of Man of Steel. Well okay, the title also says he has his thoughts on the upcoming Justice League movie. Want to know a secret? It’s going to suck.
Also, Man of Steel came out last month. I know you’re often late with games but movies now? Jeez…

At the beginning, he mentions that he feels he was the only person not to like “Batman 3”. You’re not alone, not many people really liked Batman Forever. … Oh you mean The Dark Knight Rises. Well, you’re not alone in that either. A lot of people didn’t like that movie, whether it was the gaping plot holes, Bruce’s weird decision to hide for eight years, Bruce acting like an idiot around Selena Kyle, Bane’s lame death, Talia’s even lamer death, how Batman only had three major scenes in a movie that’s two and a half hours long. People had plenty to complain about.
He claims that he sees everyone praise it. Maybe you should read more forums.

And then the rest of it is him rambling about Man of Steel. Yeah, I have my limits. I really don’t care if he liked or not. If anyone is brave enough to sit through it, you have the patience of a saint.
I would attempt to sit through it, but I never saw Man of Steel. Had no interest in it, preferring to wait for it on DVD. I have heard the problems and… yeah.

Onto the news!

Continuing from July 16th 2013

“Microsoft Xbox One -- Gamers Petition For Restrictions… WHAT?!”

Like last time, we start off with another old story. The controversial petition to bring back the Xbox One’s draconian DRM. I think this is the first time Bores has ever acknowledged this issue, two months after it became public. Yes there were leaks but nothing was concrete, until the reveal that is.

Bores lists a couple of cons and pros. He seems to understand that the cons are bad, though doesn’t seem to know that the “always on” connection was changed to “once every 24 hours”. Which is still pretty bad.
However, he doesn’t seem to get the pros.
“Lower game prices” We didn’t know that would happen. A lot of Microsoft fan boys claimed this system would allow Steam-like sales. There was no proof of course, and knowing Microsoft that probably wouldn’t happen. Steam has competition, it has GOG, Direct2Drive, Origin and others.
“Microsoft’s Netflix-style system for renting games streamed straight from the internet instead of being encrypted on a CD” A luxury only US audiences could enjoy. Europe? Canada? HAHA sucks to be you! Japan? Try again next year!

He then mentions something about CDs vs. Cassettes (this isn’t really the same argument) and then claims that if anyone was offering free sundaes at Dairy Queen he would join their cause. I was wondering how long it would take to get to a food joke, and there we go. Still not funny.

Stories from July 17th 2013

“Sonic: Lost World gets a Release Date & New Moves”

He brings up the new powers shown in the trailer, and finds the music note one dumb. You do realize that these are just additional Wisp powers right? You know, the Wisps from Sonic Colors, a game that you actually played? Did you not pay attention?
Also some lame Wonder Twins jokes… whatever.

“2013 Comic Con -- Dungeons & Dragons KRE-O Sets”

I didn’t know you cared for D&D
“Now all the Irate Gamers out can throwing around figures to go along with your level 22 wizard dying.” All the Irate Gamers? You mean there’s more than one of you?! Oh wait you mean people that are just angry or something… wow that’s a really lame way to name drop your show. That would be like the Nostalgia Critic saying “To all my Nostalgia Critics out there…”

He mentions that he now wants a Magic the Gathering KRE-O set so he can slay Nicol Bolas once and for all. Not if Wizards of the Coast has anything to say.

“E3 2013 -- Buy Booth Space or Buy a Mansion?”

Ah yes, the question posed by EA higher-ups every day. “But if we invest in actual gaming, we wouldn’t be able to afford platinum door knobs for our office.”

“Accordion to Semiformal Studios, a 600 square foot space on the E3 show floor ended up running them a tab of $100,000. And that’s on the low side!” You mean space in a convention that this year got over 48,000 people in attendance is going to be… EXPENSIVE?! Gasp!
Nobody show Chris the price of Super Bowl ads, his brain would fry.
Also, “accordion to”? Are you writing these articles on your iPad with auto-correct on?

He then estimates the cost that companies are paying for E3, noting that Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony must pay close to a million dollars. Do you know how much a million is to those three? Pocket change! Considering the AAA market dumps obscene amounts of money into a game and gets upset that selling 3.4 million copies isn’t enough, $1 million dollars is nothing!

“LEGO: The Movie Video Game in 2014”

Unsurprisingly, The Lego Movie is getting a video game tie-in.
Bores lists off every console is one (which is basically every modern one) then adds that it’s also on the Atari Jaguar, NEOGEO, and Sega Saturn adding “(just kidding… or am I?)” Yes… you are kidding. That’s not going to happen. Sorry but your jokes are still not funny.

“I wonder if LEGO’s from other LEGO video games like Batman, Indiana Jones, and Ninja Turtles will be playable in this game.” I doubt it. I know Batman and Michelangelo will show up in the movie, but I imagine the video game is another pile of legal problems not worth dealing with.
Hold on, there’s a LEGO TMNT out there? That’s the first I’m hearing of this. *looks around* There are LEGO TMNT playsets, but no video game. But double-checking facts is haaaaaaaard!

“2103 Comic-Con -- Skylanders Dread Yacht Playset that Holds Figures and Portal?!”

90 years from now, Skylanders will be big enough to have yachts? Wow, Activision hit a gold mine.
Okay seriously, that’s the second time you’ve typed out 2103 instead of 2013. Once was dumb, twice shows you just don’t care. By the way, he still hasn’t fixed the first instance. What’s the point of this site if you’re not going to try?

He’s also hoping for an exclusive Flynn figure. For those that don’t know, Flynn is an NPC. Meaning it’s not going to happen. Keep dreaming Chris.

“Selling Like Hot Cakes: XBox One, Playstation 4 Launch Bundles Sold Out”

“If you want your hands on these Consoles before Christmas, you better start looking around every nook and corner of the internet to try to score one now you lazy wait-till-the-last-minute jerk!” If I keep insulting my readers, I’ll get more fans. Logic is awesome!

“GameStop is sold out of PS4 sold out” Okay Torgo.
He ends his list of stores with Kmart and asks if they still even have an electronics section …. Yes. They do. Just because there are less stores doesn’t mean they no longer have electronics. Not funny.

Other stories:
“2013 Comic Con -- Simpsons Figures Return! NECA Making 25 Celebrity Guest Stars: First Look”

Stores from July 18th 2013

“2013 SDCC -- Batman Arkham Origins DC Collectables Figures (Batman, Bane)”

This is about figures at Comic-Con. … Yeah.
“As we speak I am preparing my fake nose and mustache disguise so I can get exclusive entrance into Comic Con as well.” Or you could just go. SDCC isn’t some exclusive event, anyone can get in. Though you’ll feel like a damn sardine doing so. Last time I went I could barely move. Three years ago there was around 130,000 people in attendance., it’s even bigger this year.

He also wonders if there will be a Black Mask figure as well. What’s your obsession with Black Mask? He’s not that amazing of a villain, he’s just a gangster.

“PlayStation 4’s Controller Originally Measured Your Sweat”

This one is just odd. Not the story itself but IG’s writing.
He says he stared at Mark Cerny for 10 minutes to get answers. What?
Then he mentions how Valve is working on sweat sensors for the next Left 4 Dead, making it sound “really intense” and to count him out of playing it. You played L4D? Oh wait I remember now, Shaolin Dave told me he played you on Steam, and you accused people of cheating. Hmmmmm.

“Parent Artist -- Scars his Children for Life in Creepy ‘Horror’ Portraits”

More pictures. The works of Joshua Hoffine, who takes pictures of his kids getting scared by stuff he edits in later. Does he take commissions? I’ve got some amazing ideas to scare children.

“Wow, and I thought I enjoyed scaring my cousins by popping out of the dark, using fake blood, or throwing them out windows…” What is wrong with you? How is your idea of a joke “I just horribly injure my cousins by defenestrating them.” That’s not funny, it’s cruel and horrid.
Also, this article is full of typos. “Creey”, “Josha”. You need an editor.

Other stories:
“Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag Limited Edition Video Game Bundle”
“Power Rangers Head -- Commemorates 20 years on DVD”
“Mega Man Keychain Collection”
“Skylanders SWAP FORCE Adventure Pack: Tower of Time”
“Skylanders: Swap Force -- Ultimate Character Roster Update -- 27/36 Figures!”

Stories from July 19th 2013

“2013 SDCC -- Magic the Gathering All 5 Planeswalkers Cards Exclusive”

This one is leaked images of the SDCC exclusives.

“…slip one of these bad boys into your commander deck and watch the surrounding player bow at your feet! You will be a god!” Only if you build your deck to make it work. Otherwise, you could get curb stomped easily. People have played this game for years and know every intricate secret and detail. Having an exclusive isn’t enough.

“Worlds Collide! Family Guy/Simpsons Appear in Crossover Episode 2014”

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of FOX execs flailing for ideas.
“Sounds like a great plot device already. hopefully that killer chicken thing stays out of this argument.” You realize that the giant chicken fights are done when the writers realize they don’t have enough plot to fill a 22 minute episode right? I like to think that they’re not going to waste a crossover on padding. Then again……

At least Bores isn’t saying modern Simpsons is still good. Because that’s a lie.

“2103 Comic Con -- Skylanders Swap Force New Leaked Figures (Scorp, Slobber Tooth, Boom Jet, Zoo Lou, Bumbleblast)"

Oh my god! This is the third time you’ve typed out 2103! What is your fucking excuse?
And to those asking, no he still hasn’t fixed the previous instances of this. He doesn’t care.
Oh the article itself? More Skylanders shit… I don’t care.
He makes a comment about heads rolling due to this being a leak, and saying he’ll do it for $50.00 an hour. Oh goody, more “Bores is a psycho jokes”. These are always unpleasant.

“Legend of Zelda Wii U Total Revamp in the Works! Awesome!”

I don’t like where this is going.
If you’ve watched my Legend of Zelda rants, then you’ll know of my complaints on the series not being gritty and adult themed enough for old school NES players like myself.” *holds back rage* Chris, you have no idea what you are talking about.
All your demands for “gritty Zelda” are not only unrealistic, but idiotic! Nintendo designed the series so everyone can play it, if they limit their audience to the 18-35 demographic that companies like EA only care for, they will not only lose sales, but soooo many fans. And why do you want a gritty Zelda? Because you’re insecure about playing these so called “kiddy games”. If that’s the issue, the problem isn’t Nintendo, the problem is YOU!
People that cry about Nintendo being “kiddy” are laughed at and ridiculed now. We’ve reached a point where that’s no longer a justifiable accusation. “But I don’t want to go into a store to…” Buy it online. Easy.

“I feel like I’m playing something for kids.” Yet this doesn’t bother you about Skylanders, which is clearly meant for kids? I’m stunned nobody has pointed out this hypocrisy to you. Oh that’s right, you live in a bubble of selfishness.
Also, fantasy isn’t an adult thing. Kids like it too, just look at Harry Potter. Not every fantasy story needs to be A Song of Ice and Fire. Though that fan art would be awesome.
I’d comment about this, but that would be futile.

Anyway, he shows Eiji Aonuma’s quote about the direction he wants to take Zelda, and Bores claims he wants an audience with him because he “knows” what they need to do. That he wants something he imagined as a kid and that it needs to be like Lord of the Rings. For fuck’s sake you’re a moron! If you want something “gritty” that’s kind of like Zelda? Play Darksiders, or Demon’s Souls/Dark Souls.

By the way, when Aonuma is talking about a “different direction”, he’s talking about gameplay. Making Zelda play similar to something like Skyrim. Open world with numerous side quests, a large sense of exploration. Not BLOOD GORE TITS RAAAAAH!
I’m going to laugh when Zelda Wii U is revealed, and it looks like Wind Waker. I doubt it will be that but I know it’s probably not going to look like the tech demo.
Of course, he advertises his Wii U tech demo video that somehow went viral, saying that seeing we’ll make us want “gritty” too. Time for some truth Chris, people don’t care for “gritty” anymore. In fact I’m seeing more and more people scoff or roll their eyes at something that tries to be dark.

One more thing. In the tags he spelled Ganon wrong. He spelled it “Gannon”. Chris doesn’t seem to realize that doing that angers the Zelda fan base. Along with wanting a “gritty Zelda”. “If I piss off Zelda fans, then I’ll have tons of new fans!”

"2013 Comic Con -- Batman Arkham Origins, New Assassin Copperhead… Seriously?”

This Copperhead looks okay. She reminds me too much of Catwoman or Chesire, but we’ll see how she is in the game.
Wait, this version of Copperhead is a woman. Uh oh…

“There are a bunch of others I would’ve picked over her?” Like who?
“So yes she will be one of the 5 assassins that try to kill Batman in the game.” Five? There’s eight assassins in the game! Did you even read the articles or pay attention?

He points out that this version of Copperhead will be integrated into the DC Universe, and mentions she better not show up in Batman or else “he’ll be miffed”. Why not? Copperhead can be considered a Batman villain, his first story had him fighting Batman, Wonder Woman and Batgirl. This better not be more sexism.
Also, the first villain revealed? Not a Batman villain. Deathstroke is more of a Teen Titans villain. Yes he’s shown up in other series, but overall he was more of a Titans antagonist.

“For more news on this video game title, make sure you check out my stunning interview below!” Oh it’s “stunning” alright, it left me in a confused daze.

Other stories:
“Skylanders: Swap Force -- Lightcore, Series 2 & 3 Figures Revealed Leaks!!”
“2013 Comic-Con: Bishop Confirmed in X-Men Days of Future Past Movie”
“LEGO -- Back To The Future 2 Downtown Recreation”

Well it’s the weekend, that means Bores isn’t going to bother updating. That shall be my cue to post this.

Before I go, a couple of things I want to mention.
First, there’s a new Skylanders video on YouTube. Yeah…
Second, under “Gallery”, he added a new section. “Writer Staff”. It’s just a condensed version of his biography from “Irate Entertainment”. Not sure why you called it “staff” when you’re the only employee. Do you plan to hire other writers? You do realize that writers like to get paid right?
He does mention in this bio that Pursuit of the Paranormal will “shake up the paranormal community for years to come.” Pffft, sure Bores. Keep telling yourself that.
Serious question though, does anyone know about Bores in the paranormal community? If they do, is he actually respected or is he considered just as much of a joke there as he is in the gaming community?



    This new bio page is a mess. Every sentence is some combination of grammatically wrong, unclear and uninformative. "Chris started a videography business in 2004, and posted videos in 2007 which ended up being featured twice in September of that year." Featured where? "Chris began conducting interviews and working with the Media and Press Relations." What does that mean? "Chris went on to achieve many accolades." Such as? Also, you mean "receive."

  2. I get the feeling that Chris and his obsession with gritty would probably make him a Call of duty fanboy, you know the ones that are stupid enough to take the military fiction seriously or claim toy nightvision is real night vision? Of course Chris isn't a Call of Duty fanboy because the game is too hard even on the easy setting and he keeps dying.

    And for goodness sakes Chris... your need to change a franchise like Zelda into something its not is as disgusting as those guys who keep complaining that Command and Conquer isn't supreme commander. Oh wait its worse, because those people stopped doing it ages ago.

  3. Chris' comment that "“Microsoft’s Netflix-style system for renting games streamed straight from the internet instead of being encrypted on a CD”"...

    Well, I didn't know any of the XBox One controversy, so I went to look it up, and...

    Notice the exact same wording between the article and Bores' comment.

    1. You mean he plagiarized someone else's work!? That is...
      Completely expected with Bores...

    2. I know. I just wasn't expecting it to be so literally copy-and-pasted from the first Google result for "xbox one gamers petition".

    3. Yeah. Wasn't trying to be rude, If I came off as that. Really more of joke at Bores. I mean, this is the man who stole footage of Sonic Generations because he was too lazy to play it for his own footage...
      Also mildly ripping off a Linkara joke

  4. I truly thought that Bores couldn't offend me further. But this...this is agony. I've been away for too long.

    And you're right Batdan, Bores wanting a "gritty" Zelda is not only hypocritical, but childish. I, for one, would love to see the Zelda series take a new direction, even if it isn't the direction Chris wants.

  5. His Gritty Zelda post is, in my opinion, the most moronic thing he's ever posted. I wonder how many other Zelda fans he's pissed off. . His ignorance is just astounding.

    1. I remember playing the first Zelda game when it was brand new. For a kid that young it was pretty gritty and violent, I remember being legitimately intimidated and scared going up against Gannon, and I loved it.
      There have been times when I felt the series didn't grow up with me, and I wished for a more adult-friendly Zelda. Between the experiences of the kiddy "Wind Waker", the somewhat gritty "Twilight Princess", and the games that people use as an example of what they think Zelda should be ("God of War", really?) I've changed my mind.

    2. Twilight Princess and Majora's Mask. Those are your 'gritty' Zelda games. The beauty of the Zelda series is because it's a fantasy game, nearly any possible situation is available.

      What is it with Bores and his constant need to climb on the Nintendo is kiddy bandwagon? We do have to keep in mind that he is doing so while bringing on board that bandwagon a huge suitcase, no STEAMER TRUNK, loaded with Skylander's figures. The very same game that is designed from the ground up with children in mind. A game that happens to make use of RFID chips inside of plastic dolls in order to squeeze money out of their players. The same series that is a knock-off of Pokemon.

    3. Never mind that he is totally okay with Mario, a series that is FAR more kiddy than Zelda. Hell, a coupe of days ago he was trying to get a Mega Man book thru E-begging. Classic Mega Man is the very definition of a kids game.

    4. @Adam Burchfield
      I also don't understand why he can't seem to afford the book himself. If he spent thousands of dollars on video games and video game consoles just to make his fans think he's a legit gamer, I don't see why he can't afford buying a Mega Man book that only $20 or $30 dollars.

    5. The Mega Man exclusive comic is $100 but that is mincing words. The truth of the matter is it seems the only thing he really cares about is collectables, if that. It makes a lot of sense for him to have tons of the muscle figures and all the rest of that stuff. So it may be that he doesn't care a wit about the Mega Man comic but for the fact that it's and limited edition exclusive. Idiot that he is he has no clue that means diddly squat.

    6. Check out the comments for his "Legend of Zelda Wii U Revamp" article. All of them are calling out IG for his stupidity of wanting a "gritty" Legend of Zelda game.

      Here's a couple of them:

      Neal wrote (July 20, 2013 at 15:20):
      "I don’t understand why you’d want something like this. You do realize if they made Zelda like Dark Souls or Skyrim, Nintendo would get A LOT of backlash from fans, because it would ruin the series. Zelda wasn’t meant to be dark and gritty. It was meant to be for everyone. And I find it hypocritical for you to not like playing a “kiddy” game, when you constantly talk about Skylanders, which is game intended for children. And also, I’m pretty sure Aonuma is referring to gameplay in his comments."

      James wrote (July 21, 2013 at 19:13):
      "Majoras mask was dark. Why are you ignoring it? It was the best Zelda out there. Dark creepy and definitely not for kids only. And what the hell is dark or gritty about sky landers I would love to know, Norman Bates."

    7. I'm guessing that they'll their IP's looked up here soon. Wonder what Chris will do with them?

    8. that they'll have their IP's looked up*

    9. @Doobster
      Considering that some of us have faced personal harassment by Irate Gamer and Asalieri fans, its no guess that those two guys are gonna get flak for simply having a justified opinion. If those guys were trolls and just said crap for effect then maybe it would be justified... but in the eyes of the Irate Gamer and Asalieri drones, they don't bother to check if they have the right target. It's attack attack and attack with no regard for definitions or purpose. Hopefully no one will be hurt by what they do but I'm not ruling out harassment of those two guys.

  6. How desperate to stay relevant can a guy get?

    1. The well just goes deeper and deeper and...

  7. Interesting to note that there's also a Simpsons/Futurama crossover episode in the works.

  8. So mister Dannight (or do you prefer Batdan? Ah no matter...) I was wondering what you felt about The Dark Knight Rises. Also wondering about if you any comics you really like...Also kudos on pointing out how at least copperhead is a batman villain. No offense to deathstroke, but yeah he is a Titans villain. Also Deadshot is more of an antihero nowadays, what with him leading the Suicide Squad and all.

    1. At first I liked it, but the more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense.
      On rewatch, it's still entertaining but very flawed. A shame...

      I don't really read super hero comics these days. Too much bullshit.

    2. Yeah. I hated it both times I watched it. Especially Bane. That voice is so lazily edited in it makes the movie look like that Zelda vid Bores made. Also understandable. Just curious where your batman background came from. I started with Batman the animated series and it turned me into the comic book nerd I am today.

    3. I actually liked Bane's voice. Just me I guess...

      My dad was a massive comic nerd so I learned a lot from him. Batman: The Animated Series also helped.

      I watched the first episode of Beware the Batman. The biggest problem other than the mediocre CGI is that it was BORING! That's the last thing a Batman story needs.
      I have heard the second episode is better so... we'll see.

    4. Ah. Neat. And Really, I could have gotten over the voice if the ADR was better. That really is a huge pet peeve of mine. And I might try that new batman series. Kind of suprised they went with Professor Pyg. He's kind of well...Zsaszish...

    5. When it comes to Batman, I've read the comics, but never really got into them that much.

      Although I have to say I'm probably one of the few, I did enjoy the earlier Batman movies, like Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. I haven't seen the newest movie, but I have seen the other 2 and enjoyed them.

      On another note entirely Dan, I have to ask, have you seen Under the Red Hood? I watched it a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it. Just wondering what your thoughts are on it.

    6. Batdan, have you ever read Savage Dragon or Invincible?

  9. omg is irate gamer a racist

    i mean

    has anyone realised theres no black ppl in his show


    wtf man

    1. I really hope you're just joking.

    2. You do realize Chris played almost every character in his show, right?
      Jeez, I wonder why peoples left his show?

    3. Obvious troll.

      DatBoiDrew is black and he was use to do all of Bores's art.

    4. I'd say he's racist only because of Ronnie the Jew skeleton. There are plenty of shows that don't have black people or other ethnic groups. Last time I checked, shows don't have affirmative action laws. Besides imagine if every show had to include a Russian or a Jewish guy. Writers would just resort to stereotypes and it'd be racist. Not including them is better since racism is expressing a preference for a race by either portraying it as superior or inferior.

    5. There are dozens of genuine reasons for hating Bores - trying to claim he's racist for not hiring any black people when 1) he has barely ANY other people on his show and 2) the same could be said for most online reviewers is not a valid complaint. Now if you want to claim he's racist because he called a white guy a nigger a few months ago then so be it, but I'd argue that's not true racism as much as it's just insensitive and moronic.

      Seriously, even if you're just a troll you need to come up with something better than that.

    6. welll jezz srry guise im not irates secretary

      howe wuz i spposed to knoow datbiodrew is blakc

      n he calledd sum one an nigger hes obiously a racist

    7. Go home, kid. You're making a fool of yourself.

    8. He guy is called "donGBlasTeR69", do you people seriously think he's being serious?

    9. There's 2600theatari aka Charlie. There's Batdamn and his many stupid alt accounts. There's irategamerfan345 and ladybuggin777 both of which actually were Chris Bore's alt. Poorly named stupid troll accounts are a trademark of Chris Bores and his poorly run franchise, but unlike the guys who do it for fun, they actually take this shit seriously.

      Irate Gamer's and Asalieri's strategy at the moment consists of getting some stupid idiot to make an account and comment here saying something stupid then screen-capping that statement and pretending it completely represents everyone on the blog. Some douchebag we don't even know makes a comment bragging about running charity scam and suddenly Asalieri's making another cheap shot at us with Batdamn and Ladybuggin clapping their hands like seals.

    10. Sigh. That is just sad. I actually feel a little bad for Bores. he has to join someone who once called him out as essentially worse than Satan himself in order to try and make himself feel better. Meanwhile, Asalieri will sooner or later drop Bores like a bad habit when Bores can no longer be any use of him.

  10. Am I the only one who feels betrayed that the new Killer Instinct is gonna be an Xbox One exclusive?

    1. Well, Killer Instinct is made by Rare, Rare is owned by Microsoft, so KI is an Xbox One exclusive. Sucks yes, but that's how it goes.

    2. Don't feel too bad about it being Xbox One exclusive. It's being developed by Double Helix, who have a notoriously bad track record. Chances are it's going to suck majorly.

    3. The game already look like a SFIV clone, as if the SFIV graphical engine or Art Direction was any good to begin with.

  11. Jeez, Chris. Stop wishing for Zelda being gritty for god's sake. It's goddamn annoying. And it will never happen. EVER. Can someone tell Chris about Fire Emblem Awakening? Sure, it's nowhere violent and gritty like many recent games, but it still have death.

  12. Interesting that you mentioned A Song of Ice and Fire, since Game of Thrones, despite still being very popular, has been criticised for much of the last season for seeming to go out of its way to be as shocking as possible and thus actually watered down its adult tone due to lack of restraint, thus making it almost seem childish at times. Even the Red Wedding scene, one of the most depressing in the books and generally well translated to the screen, managed to polarise people because Robb's wife was killed when she wasn't killed in the book. The reason for this was that she was pregnant in the show and they didn't want Robb's heir to get revenge, but the pregnancy was only announced earlier in the same episode so it was entirely avoidable. They did it just to make it more brutal, which ended up diluting things because it came across as exploitative and gratuitous - the exact opposite result they wanted.

    This is what happens when people get desperate to show how grown up they are that they forget what real maturity is. Maturity isn't swearing or violence or nudity - those are a bi-product of some mature storytelling but they're not what makes it mature. People who think they are are generally very insecure people. There's a great CS Lewis quote on the paradigm of maturity that sums up the problem that Bores and his ilk have, I may have posted this on a previous article but I think it's apropos for this one as well:

    “Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

    1. Imagine that... Chris Bores... afraid of being a manchild. At least he's trying to be self-aware about what he is.

  13. "Jobs performed were producing and filming News Programs, Documentaries, Commercials, Sporting Events, and more"

    I don't think Bores has ever mentioned names of the things (non IG) he has produced or filmed. Also, how the heck has he already have 15 pages of news?

  14. This demand of Boring Man's for a "gritty" Zelda is utter nonsense. I doubt Aonuma would be pleased with his suggestions. I would definitely be interested in this new Zelda game. Regarding The Dark Knight Rises and Man of Steel: I enjoyed them, but I can see why a fair number of people don't. I'm expecting a lot more of these trainwrecks from him in the coming months.

  15. Quick check on Social Blade..

    Boring Man has been rising in subscriber count recently ever since the tenth of this month. Though knowing him he's likely to pull something out of his ass that will cause his subscriber count to start declining.

    1. I believe someone said this ages ago on the blog, but I'll repeat it here: "IG's subscriber gain is the equivalent of walking up a down escalator."

    2. I would have went with a snake eating its own tail, but to each their own...

    3. I suppose that works a lot better for this. I was just referring to the fact that Chris's subscriber count hardly goes anywhere. He's either slowly gaining subs, going nowhere, or losing chunks.

      I mean, he's been at this for over 5 years, yet he still hasn't steadily got past 150,000 subs.

  16. So I've just now seen on his video talking about his new site that there's a new Bores account, BlueBlazer271.

    This one doesn't follow the standard comments that his "mommy" makes and goes more along the lines of cursing and insulting the people against him now.

    1. Well, atleast on this one he's not pretending to be his own mother. That's about the only nice thing I can say for him.

      So, how long do you think it'll be before someone IP tracks this one?

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. Hey Batdannight, what is your thoughts on Wendal and Vinnie?

    1. I don't know what that is.
      *looks it up* Oh.
      I don't watch Nickelodeon outside of Korra and Power Rangers.

    2. Never got around to watching that one.

    3. Wow. So, what were your thoughts on Samurai? I didn't think it was bad but I wish they could have had a better translation of Shinkenger's Scripts. Those were really stilted...

    4. I don't like Power Ranger anymore...

    5. @Adam Burchfield

      It was okay. I can see why people hated it though. Following up the excellent RPM and adapting what people consider one of the best Sentai ever and it just didn't mix well.
      Plus, adapting the Sentai so that the girl Rangers were forced to stay behind... yeaaaaah.

    6. Yeah, Shinkenger is a little overrated. It drags in the middle. It becomes much more of a toy commercial instead of a show that sells toys. And I am on the fence about RPM. I find taking a comedy like go onger and making it the Terminator kind of silly, especially the fact that the zords have cartoon eyes. Still, from what I watched of RPM it wasn't bad. I can see the effort.

    7. Speaking of "Power Rangers", I'm wondering if Linkara is releasing the "Operation Overdrive" review on the day MMPR was first broadcast? It kinda makes sense, since "Overdrive" had an anniversary team up 2 parter.

      Also, anyone ever watch "Akibarangers", cause the 5th episode of the second season kinda parodies "Power Rangers"?

  19. Batdannight, I wonder which is worst, the modern Simpsons episodes or the post-movie SpongeBob episodes?

  20. Hey guys, I wanted to retooled The Chronicle of LordStarscream89 to The Chronicle of The-Psychid. Any suggestion?

    1. You should do it on the anti-MLP group itself, hell probably even the entire brony-hating community.

    2. No offense to Bronies, I just don't think they are as hard cores as us Jemmies:

    3. With all the talk of Hasbro, I wonder how Chris Bores would review its toys? And the Hub TV Network, too? (Aside from anything Transformers-related...)

    4. Jemmies, huh? Never heard of 'em.

    5. @ZeldaFan
      And I'm afraid that is truly, truly outrageous.

    6. You know HeatEdgeSword, you can report the guy who wrote a story that bashes you to the DA admins. Because I don't think DA tolerates people who writes hate stories on other members.

      I once had a friend who wrote a hate story and then the next day, the story got deleted.

    7. @ ZeldaFan
      Lol. Sorry, that was from a webcomic I frequented that was making a jab at the Brony/Anti-Brony thing. I personally don't mind MLP, I just think G1 was the best. Mostly cuz the villains were hardcore in that show. although I do think Jem is kinda awesome in a really silly way. But, seriously Hasbro, you need to reboot Jem so we can get a sub culture going like the Bronies...

    8. @Adam Burchfield
      You think G1 is... better than Friendship is Magic? Le gasp! Actually, I respect your opinion, it's just that I've never met anyone who likes the previous MLP shows. Most people, including myself, think G1-G3.5 are utter garbage.

    9. I think of G1 as being pretty good, actually. As for G3 and G3.5, they tried way too hard to appeal to its target audience. Wonder what everyone thinks of My Little Pony Tales, though?

      And speaking of Hasbro and "girly stuff", what's everyone's thoughts on Littlest Pet Shop-- both its 1995 and 2012 incarnations? (I like them both, BTW.)

    10. MLPT Scares me. Those ponies look creepy...

  21. right now i am watching a trilogy of videos Mr.A is doing on Repro-gaming market, any toughts, you think he is adept to talk about the "Grey Area"?

    Personally as long as the game hasn't been released in the US, it should be fine.

    1. and so far, he is been as condescending and inconsiderate as always.

    2. If by repro-gaming you mean the translation and free download of japanese RPGs and other such games which were never released in english via hacking and patching, then I'm all up for it. Googgling the term however, brings up no information and thus I am unable to hold a proper discussion on repro-gaming.

    3. And once again it seems that the whole intention of Asa was to throw dirt to anyone who promotes a service by cherrypicking all because he wanted to promote his buddies.

      The guy who appeared at the video was a guy called Protitus, and they were pissing on the 3 major guys who made repros, specially NESreproductions (one of the 1st sites who offered repros) and claiming in their condescending manner that you ended paying 150 dollars in fees.

      NEsreproductions asks 25 Dollars per game, yes you have to send them a repro, but how expensive can it be, sure for me it can be since i live in frontier city. but that's my country's policy.

      i Actually contacted Protitus, and i ask him how much could be for Sweet Home on NES, and he told me he does not seel Cheap repros, and he asked me 40 dollars for Sweet Home, + 20 dollars for shipping and tracking.

      60 dollars for a game, only 10 dollars less than the CIB version at Timewalk games.

      Yeap, Once again it was just Asalieri wanted to promote his people, while discrediting the rest.

      Fuck that guy.

  22. So, over on TGWTG, the 5th anniversary is going on right now, and Doug Walker's entry into the Uncanny Valley is up. It's called Dragonbored. Anyone else see it?

    It's a clever Twilight Zone-esque story infused with the Walkers' brand of wit and humor. I really enjoyed it!

  23. Anyone else watch and enjoy the Comedy Central-era Futurama episodes? Sometimes I feel I'm practically the only one who does. I mean, Lewis Lovhaug and Doug Walker rarely talk about the show, Chad Rocco hasn't talked about since he did that one video on it, and I've never seen Noah Antwiler, James Rolfe, or Mike Matei mention the series ever (actually Noah may have, but I don't remember. Similarly, I don't remember if Hope Chapman or Brad Jones talked about the show or not).

    I'm of two minds regarding the show's cancellation (though I should note that that Matt Groening and David X. Cohen have expressed interest in getting Netflix to renew the show ala Arrested Development) as I enjoyed the new episodes and want to know the answers to any unresolved secrets/mysteries, but at the same time I feel it's best to end when it's still good.

    1. I like the new seasons of Futurama but I think they should keep going as it is better to see the limits of their writing then to never see at all. After all, its very interesting to analyze how shows with award winning formulas can become crappy (i.e noting exactly when the writing died in family guy or Spongebob). The creator said that no one would be quitting so there's no chance that they'll run out of talent (ideas are another matter).

    2. That fact that Futurama has yet to go down in quality is no surprise to me. With a science fiction setting gives them more to work with in terms off ideas. The writers can be as over-the-top as possible without it being too questionable. Then you have something like the Simpsons, where... well, what more can they really do? As time goes on, they try to make references and jokes that are relevant to the time, but with a setting so grounded into pop culture, there's only so many ways you can tell a joke.

  24. So, some of the writers of the Super Mario Bros movie discussed what they would have done in the sequel and decided to continue it as webcomic. Looks promising so far.

  25. Looking forwards to the next in the series..!

  26. Since you've mentioned modern Simpsons episodes, which is worse? Modern Simpsons episodes or Modern SpongeBob episodes?

    1. Spongebob. I won't explain why, mainly because I shouldn't HAVE to explain it.

    2. Spongebob. Modern Simpsons manages to just be boring and not funny (usually, the episode where Skinner was an imposter all along was @!*#!@$). Modern Spongebob manages to be insulting, pathetic and rude to anyone who watches it.

    3. The Simpsons and Spongebob are both equally as bad, but I honestly would rather watch The Simpsons. Spongebob is insultingly painful to watch. The show treats the viewer like an asshole. It's unbelieveable how stupid it is. It's the only program that pisses me off. I can stand other awful shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (not really that bad), and hell, even the fucking Cleveland Show! But not Spongebob, just no. Even watching a modern episode makes me wonder what I'm doing with my life.

    4. Spongebob. Only because I didn't watch Simpsons that much. The characterization looked like it depended on the writers. Heck, there are a bunch of post movie episode that I didn't like at all.
      Though Johnny Test is worse than Spongebob.

    5. @Heat Edge Sword
      "there are a bunch of post movie episode that I didn't like at all"
      Well that's what Gangstalizard meant when he said modern Spongebob. To be fair I did like one post movie episode. That one where MrsPuff got replaced by a hardass driving instructor that managed to teach spongebob to drive, but only when blindfolded.

    6. Modern Spongebob is worse. Not only are all the character voices now completely off but that is now lack of creativity in the show's humor. And when I say that, I meant NO humor at all.

    7. @Heat Edge Sword
      Johnny Test is worse than Spongebob? I strongly disagree. Test is WAY better than Spongebob. Don't get me wrong, it's a terrible show, but Johnny Test is MLP compared to fucking Spongebob.

    8. I forgot to mentioned that I do like some of the modern Spongebob episode though. Still, Modern Spongebob is still bad...
      @ZeldaFan That's my opinion, though.

  27. Hey guys, I recently watched Pacific Rim. It was okay but seriously, it could have been better.

    What do you guys think?

    1. Haven't seen it yet, so I don't know.

  28. Dear god.


    The man has a twitter of all things. And dear god the vocabulary.

    1. He wrote:
      "I'm gonna take u back 2 the past. To make sure that u hav such a blast."
      Gee, now doesn't that sound familiar....
      He also wrote:
      "its my mony and i need it now."
      The irony is amazing.

    2. I doubt it is his legitimate Twitter account. He has one linked from his YouTube channel, which isn't this one. I mean, the tweets are incredibly stupid even by Chris' standards. Not to mention, the constant references to AVGN pretty much cement the fact that it isn't Chris.

      Also: "I have somthing plannedfor my 1 hundred tweet"

      It's obviously a troll taking jabs at Chris, which explains the above tweet.

    3. I agree with KYUKEDUKE. Plus, he retweeted two of your tweets criticizing him for everyone to see. Doesn't sound like something he would do.

    4. "Who hear wants to have my irate gamer babys?!?!"

      Yeah, it's obviously not him.

    5. Correct; @ChrisBoresIG is the real IG twitter, and it's not much, just promoting every update on the webpage. @irategamer has been suspended- not sure if that was ever a real Bores account.

  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. If anyone really, REALLY wants to know... he liked the movie.

      Which is kinda sad because I liked it too :(

      The video isn't that bad, though he doesn't mention Michael Shannon by name he's just "the guy from Boardwalk Empire", says he liked the movie in three different ways in three different instances over the period of a couple minutes and uses a FRENCH ad for the New 52 Justice League.

  30. Sorry for the silence for so long but I've been thinking with my LPs am I going too fast on anything? I kind of re-watched my episodes and something just feels off.

    1. Not enough X-com. Also I just found out how badly you're LP went. Remember to use squad tactics next time. Also you had the really bad luck event of taking on a landed UFO.

    2. Trust me no matter what my luck is probably going to be bad I cannot count how many times I have accidently glitched games. When I finish Perfect Dark and go back to X-Com I will dial back the difficulty so I might not die to sectoids much.

    3. Well just remember that there are a few things to do at the start of the game.

      1. Put base at middle of continent
      2. build a alien containment
      3. Research lasers
      4. Hire max number of scientists you can afford (you start with like 20, you can use up to 50. So hire about 30 more guys)
      5. Buy stunrods
      6. Sell all stingray launchers and cannon + their associated ammo. Sell any weapons that you don't intend to use. Equip Interceptors with avalanches and be sure to have a good surplus of ammo (20 or so).
      7. Pray to the machine spirit for safety and good fun!

      If you have any questions you can just email me.

  31. anyone know when the AVGN movie is supposed to come out? I thought it was going to release in summer 2013

    1. Summer of 2013 was just a rough estimate, if I recall correctly. He most likely won't have a release date until he's either entirely finished or close to finishing the movie. I'm anticipating a release before the end of the year, maybe.

  32. Okay, since I feel the need to defend The Dark Knight Rises whenever I see it bashed, he I go, taking you complaints one by one:

    1) Bruce stopped being Batman for eight years because Batman had become fugitive in the eyes of the public and the law. And, because the city didn't need Batman anymore.

    2) Bruce didn't act like an idiot in front of Selena at all. The fact he was able to track her down is a testament to that. Batman was humiliated by Catwoman far more often in Batman Returns.

    3) Bane's death wasn't lame, between Bruce beating the crap out of him, and Selena doing what Batman won't by just shooting his ass, it was a crowd pleasing scene in all three packed theaters I saw it in.

    4) Talia's death wasn't lame either. My defense here is just as good and specific as your complaint.

    5) Only three major scenes? Hmmm, time for a mini-list:

    1. The airplane hijack prologue.
    2. The bar shootout/sewer chase.
    3. The stock exchange hold up.
    4. Batman's return/chase through Gotham streets
    5. Batman/Selena rooftop battle
    6. Batman v. Bane in the sewers
    7. The assault on the football stadium.
    8. Bombs going off, Bane taking over Gotham.
    9. Truth about Harvey Dent exposed, chaos in Gotham.
    10. Bruce escaping the pit.
    11. Batman saving Gordon.
    12. Batman saving Blake.
    13. The battle for Gotham, Batman v. Bane rematch
    14. Batman flying the bomb out of Gotham.
    15. The beautiful, emotional ending montage.

    And there are more I skipped. You really can't count, can you? The Irate Gamer does suck, and so do you.

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