Saturday, July 27, 2013

IG Attempts the News: Wasn't This Supposed To Be About Video Games?

Last time on IG Attempts the News: Make everything darker and edgier!
More jokes that make me look like a psycho!
Women are stupid!

What will this week bring?

Actually, before I begin that. I viewed a video from MatthewPatrick13 for his “Game Theory” series, explaining how YouTube works, the rise in Let’s Play/walkthrough channels, and why PewDiePie is popular. Last March, YouTube changed their method of promotion. Instead of going by how many views a video gets (which people could cheat by giving it a thumbnail with tits, only to have a talking head in it) to how much duration of the video is watched. The more time passes, the more likely it’s going to get promoted. Let’s Play/walkthrough channels manage to do this by submitting 10-20 minute chunks of a straight-forward with each part labeled, allowing newcomers to view the series in one sitting. Thus, they get a large amount of promotion (and it’s why notable YouTube partners have started gaming channels).
As for PewDiePie? He managed to get international attention. I still think he’s horrid though.
So how does this effect Bores? Well, Bores is no longer promoted like he was in the old days. Taking his fairly short videos and combining them with the infrequency of uploads, it’s no wonder that his views have stagnated and his subscriber count has dropped hard or barely moved at all.

You can view MatPat’s video here:

And now, onto the “news”.

Stories on July 20th 2013

Well what do you know, he does post on weekends. Interesting.

“Donkey Kong vs. MC Escher Stairs -- Chalk Stop Motion Video”

Just a video he thought was cool.
The only thing I found weird was one of the tags saying “Atari”. I know Donkey Kong was  released on the 2600, the 7800 and Atari computers, but most people associate DK with Nintendo since it‘s a Nintendo IP, so there’s really no reason to put that tag there.

Other stories:
“2013 Comic Con SDCC -- Magic the Gathering 5 New Commander Sets this November”

Stories on July 22nd 2013

“2013 Comic Con -- LEGO MARVEL New Characters Announced: Stan Lee, Ice man, Howard the Duck?”

A game with playable Stan Lee. Fucking bought.

“Most of it concerning all the playable characters. But first lets address the obscure characters” Obscure huh? Let’s see what your idea of obscure is.

“Stan Lee. Wow that guy gets around. Even in video games.” … Did you seriously just call Stan Lee obscure? The man is a legend! He’s responsible for creating a vast majority of the Marvel Universe. So to call him “obscure” shows me you have no clue who he really is.
He brings up Howard the Duck, and is annoyed because he can only think of the movie rather than the comic. Ever consider that the comics are actually good? Didn’t think so…
After a lame joke about throwing Howard off a cliff, he brings up Squirrel Girl.
“Wow, that one is so obscure I’ve never even heard of her” You call yourself a comic book fan? Squirrel Girl is awesome. She beat Doctor Doom and Thanos! And the former was the real Doom, not a Doombot.
He lists off multiple characters in the game, ending on Agent Coulson
“Boy those Marvel movies made him a superstar.” No shit, that’s where he was introduced. Coulson was an original character created for the MCU, and like Harley Quinn in Batman and Livewire in Superman, he was later integrated into the comic books.

“2013 SDCC Comic Con -- Superman and Batman Crossover Movie Now a Reality! Summer 2015”

You see, this is why you need to post on weekends. Everyone has already heard about this.

“So weird this news was released, especially since I mentioned that I wish I would see something like this in my Man of Steel Review posted a day before the announcement. Glad they took my suggestion.” Don’t act like an egoistical prick because you predicted something would happen. Just about everyone thought something like this would happen considering the success of the MCU and everyone telling WB and DC that doing a Justice League movie right out of the gate is a bad idea!
“And since they are listening to me, give me a Green Lantern reboot and a Flash movie while your at it!” Green Lantern is never happening again. Deal with it.
“Hit the jump to check out my Superman Movie Review where my soothsaying skills are top notch!” Again, this is why nobody likes you, you’re acting like a dick.

“The Beatles -- Where are they Now? (Artists Rendition)”

I know where two of them are. Dead. The other two are still performing in their own ways.
Actually, this is another “cool picture I found” post. Apparently it’s from the 70’s or something… whatever.

“2013 Comic-Con: Avengers 2 Titled Avengers: Age of Ultron (Different Origin Story)”

I’m actually glad we’re getting Ultron next. Putting Thanos in the second movie would be blowing their load too early.

“At the Marvels Panel” Do you even care?
“Now I know of this guy through collecting Marvel figures,” I’m such a big comic book fan you guyz! I read a lot of them… except I never have.
“But since Ant man hasn’t been introduced yet, Joss Whedon has confirmed the origin story will be all new” Or he could be lying. It’s been confirmed Ant Man is the first movie of Phase 3, coming November 2015. It’s possible Avengers 2 will introduce Hank Pym, setting up the next movie.

“2013 Comic Con -- Magic the Gathering: From the Vault Twenty (Jace the Mind Sculptor!)”

More MTG… huzzah.

“Oy! The price of this has already jumped up $50.00 dollars and it hasn’t even been released yet! You punks!” You mean the rare and powerful cards are… expensive and in demand?! Le gasp! More and more you show us all that you don’t understand the basics of economics.
He brings up Jace the Mind Sculptor and has this to say.
“Somehow through my Obi wan ways I can hear many people praising this card and cursing Wizards of the Coast over this all at the same time.” Your Obi Wan ways? What? What does that mean? Do you mean The Force? Quit slipping in references that don’t match up.
Apparently Jace is a controversial MTG card. Can you explain how? No? Fine, leave us all in the dark.

Other stories:
“Superman Man of Steel Review & Justice League Movie Thoughts” (it’s his video)
“LEGO -- Back to the Future DeLorean Set *DROOL*”
“2013 Comic Con -- Magic the Gathering: Next Block: THEROS -- (Elspeth now Center Stage)”

Stories from July 23rd 2013

“Arcade ‘Netflix-esque’ Type Rental Service New Available”

Looking into “All You Can Arcade”, I can see a lot going wrong. Especially something going wrong in delivery, and paying $75 dollars a month is just not worth it.

“Might come in handy when I record History of Video Games Part 6 which I will be producing later this year.” Give it up Bores! That series is never going anywhere, and you’re a fool for thinking you’ll finish it. Also, why do you need Arcade cabinets? Didn’t you say you were covering the Atari 2600?
“There is one catch though, certain area’s only offer certain consoles. Where I live I was able to pull up hundreds of machines,(…)” That’s…. impossible. I looked up All You Can Arcade’s site and put in the two zip codes for Sandusky Ohio, and neither had any machines available. I put in my own zip code and I can’t get any either. It sounds like something that’s only available in the California Bay area right now.
“(…) but I’m sure out in WallaWalla, Washington, There will be no rousing games of ‘Mappy’ for you!” I also put in Walla Walla, Washington’s zip code and they aren’t available there either. Also, the site doesn’t have Mappy. Do your research.
“But it’s a joke!” Then maybe he shouldn’t say he has hundreds of choices available to him when he actually doesn’t!

“Oldest D-20 Spinner Die Found -- Ancient Romans Played D&D and Magic: the Gathering?”

No. No they didn’t.
Actually, this story is kind of interesting. It’s a multi-sided die that scientists have dated somewhere between 304 B.C.E. and 30 B.C.E. Of course, Bores ruins it with his dumb jokes.
“Imagine the level their warriors would be at today! Try and beat my level 354 wizard! I dare ya dungeon master!” Ugggggh. I’m pretty sure these die were used for something else, not fantasy role-playing games. Maybe games of chance that have been lost to the passage of time.
“Very cool, just wait till I find one made out of dinosaur bone!” About as likely as finding buried E.T. cartridges in a field in Ohio.

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie Set Photos -- Ralphael in Disguise Pics”

Who the devil is Ralphael? Oooh you mean Raphael. See, this is why you should disable auto-correct on your iPad.
By the way, all these images are old. I saw them weeks ago.

“I guess this one might actually be turning out to be pretty good. Lets hope.” No. No it won’t. It’s going to be a train wreck. All hope is lost, and I don’t see how it can get better.

“2013 Comic Con -- New Ghostbusters Toys (Proton Wand, Ecto Goggles)”

“What practical application do these things have in actual application in the field? I have absolutely no fricken idea but they look great.” They’re toys. If you seriously thought about using them for your ghost hunting… never mind. If you’re asking about in-universe purposes, they both seem pretty obvious. One is the gun on a Proton Pack, the other lets you see ghosts.
“Much better than the 80's versions by a country mile.” For $110 and $130 dollars, they fucking better be higher quality than toys from the 80’s.
“Looks like the Ecto Goggles will be available this August only on the Matty Website.” I’m sorry, Matty? Did you seriously give a pet name to Mattel? Nobody else calls them that Bores.

“Activision Now Plans on Releasing 2 Ninja Turtles Video Games this Year”

Activision milking something, what a shock.

I find it weird that half of the article’s one paragraph is normal, but the other half is in italics. He’s not even quoting anybody.
“But only available on Xbox 360 and Wii only?? Damn you Playstation!!” Why are you cursing Playstation? It’s Activision’s fault the game isn’t going to be on PS3. Hell, I’m curious as to why the game is on Wii rather than Wii U. Are you going to curse Nintendo for that?

Other stories:
“X-Men: Days of Future Past -- Official Posters Revealed”
“Superman Movie Sequel Titled: Superman vs. Batman? David Goyer Reveals”

Stories on July 24th 2013

“Arkham Origins: Mad Hatter Now Confirmed as a Villain”

“He won’t be part of the “assassins” group because that would be as crazy as bringing in someone obscure as Copperhead.” Is he calling Mad Hatter obscure? Or is he saying that making him an assassin wouldn’t make sense? Hard to tell with him. Also, quit ragging on Copperhead, what did she ever do to you? Personally I would prefer if Hatter was one of the assassins, he’d have stages similar to the Scarecrow scenes from the first game.

“And hey, if you want to really mess with peoples minds, make it look exactly like that Tom Petty music video “Don’t Come Around Here” and let Tom Petty play the Mad Hatter again. That will ruffle some feathers!” … What? Barely connecting obscure reference much?
First of all, the song is called “Don’t Come Around Here No More”. Sorry, I’m a stickler for song titles (it’s Baba O’Riley, not Teenage Wasteland). Second, that music video is nowhere near the worst Mad Hatter related thing out there. I point you to Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland with break-dancing Johnny Depp. That’s torture. Third… seriously what?

“2013 SDCC -- Bryan Cranston Crashes Comic Con as himself?”

I saw this a couple days before this post. That mask dives deep into the uncanny valley.

He references Cranston’s roles on Seinfeld and Malcolm in the Middle for some reason, then says he hopes they don’t spoil the “sexy series finale” of Breaking Bad. Okay, I haven’t seen Breaking Bad yet, but from everything I’ve heard, “sexy” is not a word I would use to describe it. Brutal, gritty, dark, those are accurate words. Maybe Bores’ ideal Zelda game would involve Link and Tingle running a meth lab in the Deku Tree.

“Street Fighter II “Best of Church Edition” Smacking Around the Rightous!”

Pretty sure there’s a missing “e” in that headline.
This is another video he saw. It takes footage from various churches and adds Street Fighter sound effects to them. … Yeah.
“I’m so inspired I can’t wait till next Sunday so I can duke it out at my church!” I thought you were a Buddhist? *researches* There are Buddhist churches, but they’re a specific subset, and aren’t available in Ohio. There are temples all over though.
Maybe the “Alan” that sent him that was Alan Cicco?

“Pokemon Rumble U: Another Figure Game releasing August 29th”

What’s this? Bores covering something related to Pokemon? That’s a first. Oh of course it’s the one that allows figures… like Skylanders. Of all the games that would get his attention.

“Marvel Super Heroes LEGO: Howard the Duck Reveal”

“After pestering Warner Brothers repeatedly the last couple days for a picture of a Howard the Duck LEGO picture, I finally got one from their PR people.” You didn’t do that. They probably just sent it out to everyone. By chance that you did, why would you want to pester them about it? Didn’t you say it was dumb and you’d only use Howard to throw him off a cliff?
“This character will no doubt be locked up until you can perform some incredible feat.” Collecting 50,000 studs isn’t really that amazing a feat. Especially if you have a couple multipliers on.
“Can’t wait to see what his special power is. (Yeah i know, insert your own joke here)” Oh that’s easy. *clears throat* Howard the Duck will defeat his enemies with the power of biting satire and bizarre parody. Just like the comic books.

Other stories:
“You Moron! Dumpster Diver Makes Paper Mache Sculpture From $40,000 Comic Books”
“Designer of Madden NFL awarded $11 million in EA lawsuit”

Stories from July 25th 2013

“Game Of Thrones 40-Foot Dragon Skull Created to Promote Season 3”

Promote Season 3? Way to be late for that! It already happened, it started in March and ended in June.
Oh I see, it’s for a UK only streaming service. They must be doing well if they’re able to afford making this. Hey HBO, maybe you could prevent Game of Thrones from being the most pirated show every year if you gave people the option to watch it on Netflix or Hulu, rather than force them to subscribe to HBO no matter what.

“What’s better than finding a dragon skull?” A live dragon?
“How about finding a 40 foot dragon skull!” That’s not much different, it’s only bigger. Is this even a joke?
“Baggage claim will love me after I steal that sucker.” And we can add larceny to your list of “sarcastic crimes”. When will he learn jokes like that aren’t funny?

“LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes -- Characters Confirmed! Gambit, Beast, Punisher, Elektra, etc”

He says Warner Bros sent him these images. No they didn’t, they probably sent them to everyone and you found them off another site. Quit trying to sound special.
“If they keep this up, they’ll have nothing left for DLC” Good. Unless the DLC is extra levels, then it’s pointless cash-grabbing.

“Donkey Kong Doctor Who Level & Other Random Pop Culture Characters”

I thought I told you to stay away from Doctor Who media!

It’s another “cool pictures I found” post, basically an artist edited Donkey Kong to feature other media. Bores posted the ones with Doctor Who, Adventure Time, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Nolan-verse Batman, and Alien.
He also wants someone to mod Donkey Kong to look like the Doctor Who picture. *sighs* Moving on…

“DC Comics --Flash Point Animated Movie on Sale Tuesday”

Ah yes, Flashpoint, the final major story before the New 52 reboot. That sure was worth it huh? *crickets*

“I cannot wait to see how this translates over to the tv medium.” TV? This is direct-to-DVD. If you’re thinking this is a pilot to a possible TV show, then you seem to have ignored the deluge of DC Animated movies coming out the last few years. Right now, all we’re getting on TV is Teen Titans Go and Beware the Batman. Nothing on the level of the DC Animated movies, or even the old DCAU.

Other stories:
“LEGO: Breaking Bad Video Game Spoof”
“Marvels Avengers 2 Movie News: Joss Whedon talks Scarlet Witch Costume”
“Super Mario 64 Video Game Mod -- Dad Creates Childlike Goombas For Son”

Stories from July 26th 2013

“The Homer Car: Company Actually Builds Replica”

I just want to mention that the picture used has a model dressed as Marge standing next to the car. This is why Simpsons cosplay just doesn’t work, it looks weird.

“Remember the Simpsons Episode were Homer designs a car for his brother Herb? Yeah it was Season 2, a very long time ago so I’ll forgive you just this one time in case you don’t” Considering most of your fans were born looooong after that episode first aired, it wouldn’t surprise me they wouldn’t know it. Hell, these were probably the same fans that said the Lady Gaga episode was “amazing and brilliant”.
Also, “…Episode were Homer…” Are you sure English is your first language?

“A Half-Scale Replica Of Vader’s TIE Fighter Finally Built”

“Is it time for the Star Wars Celebration in Europe already?” I checked and this is actually a thing. Stopped watch is right twice a day.
“Took them over 1,000 man hours and $20,000 to build. Not sure why they didn’t splurge with $40,000 and build a full sized one” Because that’s not how it works? It’s pretty damn big already going by the pictures.
“Very cool guys and an Irate hats off to you.” An Irate hats off? What? Are you a brand now or something? Or is this more of your belief that “if I add my name to something, that automatically makes it funny”?

Other stories:
“Ducktales Remastered Duckumenatry -- Wubba Duck, Flintheart Golmgold Revealed!”
“Batman Norman Rockwell Art -- Saturday Gotham Evening Post Covers”
“Skylanders -- Fryno Being Confirmed Next week?”

It’s Saturday, that means it’s time to post this.
Surprisingly, Bores seems to be laying off the horrid jokes. A little bit at least, there’s still lots of awful ones.
What horrid news will await next week? We’ll have to wait and see. I just wonder if Bores will upload something of substance soon.


  1. The first Superman/Batman crossover movie promo I saw was displayed rather obviously in the background of "I Am Legend". So Bores is proud of himself for 'predicting' something at least 5 years too late.

    1. Eh. I don't really want it to happen. After seeing them Nolanize Superman, I really don't wanna see any more DC movies if we get more Batman-esque makeovers. Or see Lex Luthor speak like Sean Connory in a fish bubble.

    2. I haven't watched "Man of Steel" yet. Waiting for video. My expectations aren't very high.

      Let's see if I remember this correctly...

      Superman originally only had powers because the gravitational differences between Krypton and Earth were so different that he was genetically inclined to have stronger muscles. This gave him the ability to have super strength, run fast, and jump high. That's it

      More and more powers were added, to the point that Superman practically became a parody of himself. Laser eyes? Okay. Ice breath? Sure. Ability to throw an entire continent made out of his weakness into space, a weakness that's so instantly recognizable that it's become a common synonym for anyone's unique weakness? Of course. Oh, and effortless time reversal too, why not?

      For this reason, I never really liked Superman or any of his movies. If they want to reboot Superman, they shouldn't have tried to Nolanize the overpowered Superman that we know today, they should go back to the roots and make him a generic strongman who might have actual shortcomings or weaknesses. Hell, a good writer could actually turn his powers into his weaknesses to make the audience sympathetic.

      The character today that best resembles Superman (in terms of powers) is Mr. Incredible.

    3. They Nolanized Superman? Where?

      And Superman was never able to lift an entire continent made of kryptonite or reverse time, that only happened in those movies.

    4. To all the people who bitched about Man of Steel, what exactly do you want to see instead of Superman being super and battling supervillains? More real estate scams from Lex Luthor? Richard Pryor skiing down a skyscraper? Supes getting drunk off bad Kryptonite and being a superjerk? Otis?? Nuclear Man?!?

      Think about what you're saying. People bitched for literally the last thirty years about how the Superman movies are weak because he basicallly never punches anyone or does much other than lift heavy things. Now, we get a movie that is a direct response to 30 years of Superman movies (almost 60 if you go back to George Reeves) where he doesn't do a god-damned thing.

      I've come to accept nerds are always going to be greener on the other side type of crowd. Nothing will ever make you happy. "The movie was too serious!" What, we needed more cutting room floor Richard Pryor standup and slapstick routines in the opening credits? More "rebuild the Great Wall of China rays" coming out of Superman's eyes? Big celophane S's being hurled off of Superman's chest and turning into big plastic nets?!? I mean really, listen to yourselves.

      Is Man of Steel perfect? No, absolutely not. But is it good? Yes. Was it made with a love and respect for the character? Yes. And there is nothing in this movie that people have been bitching about instensely that wasn't in the original Christopher Reeve movies. That thing about what happens with Zod in the end... yeah hate to tell you, but it also happened in Superman 2, and way worse, in a manner that made Supes out to be way more of an asshole, to be honest.

      Was it too long? Maybe, but it's the same length as the Richard Donner version, which as much as I love, I find way more of a snooze to watch these days.

      Everyone says "It's an hour before Clark puts on that suit!" Again... way longer in the Donner version. At the one hour mark, Clark's stil hanging around Smallville... a Smallville we DIDN'T get the benefit of being abridged... just one straight long-ass shot. Same with Krypton, yeah, they both take up a half hour at the beginning, but the first time in 1978, it was a half-hour of standing around and mispronouncing "Krypton".

      Lois having no real business in the second act... Hell, in Superman Returns, Lois has no purpose in the entire narrative at all, except to be a loathsome attempt to market her as the ultimate single mom working girl, despite that not being anything close to what Lois Lane is about.

      I could go on and on, but my point is if all of you are going to whine and complain about things in this movie, you MUST hold the older films responsible as well when they do the exact same thing. It's the same argument that can be made about the Amazing Spider-Man film from last year. Fine, dislike the choices they made, but don't stand there and go on about how perfect the originals are when they do the exact same crap.

      I do hate that reboots and remakes lately force people to take such a strong stand that you can only like one or the other. I love the originals, but I feel myself having to bash them to defend my point against the people bashing the new one. It just seems stupid to me. I think people need to start being happier things aren't as bad as they could have been and stop bitching how it wasn't as good as you wanted. I'm just saying.

    5. @ deepghoul

      You say people shouldn't complain about the movie, and you defend that stance by complaining about movies... okay...

    6. OK, I made a few mistakes, but I'm just saying that I hate seeing people out there bash a movie for its flaws (which a lot of times they're not even flaws, just fanboy nitpicks), but not criticize the original for the same things. They grow up with or become attached to a movie and can't see its flaws because they're blinded by nostalgia. It's happened with Superman, Spider-Man, Indiana Jones, and it will probably happen with Star Wars Episode 7. All I'm trying to say is that if you're gonna throw a movie under a bus, throw your "beloved" original under there too and be fair about it.

    7. @Shaolin Dave:

      I wouldn't say he's complaining about the Donner films, he's saying they're not any better than Man of Steel if we hold them to the same standards and I feel the same way. I love the Donner films, I grew up watching them, but I wouldn't say they're the perfect Superman movies.

    8. @ deepghoul and SilenceFan

      I can kinda see what you're both saying. Still, sometimes criticism of sequels/reboots are legit. Just because someone can compare and prefer the earlier films doesn't mean that's the only reason they don't like it. I hated the fourth Indiana Jones movie, and would have hated it just as much if the original trilogy never existed.

    9. @Shaolin Dave:

      I actually agree with deepghoul. I like the Indiana Jones movies, the fourth included, but that doesn't mean I must take the three first to a higher standard even though they have just as much dumb moments as the fourth one.

      However, if you like or hate something others like or dislike, don't be a jerk about it. People have different opinions. You can disagree with them, fine, but don't put him to a lower standard because of his opinions.

    10. @Shaolin Dave:

      Yeah but I wouldn't put Man of Steel at Kingdom of the Crystal Skull's level. :P

    11. @ DrZulu2010

      Um, how am I "being a jerk about it" or "putting him to a lower standard because of his opinions"?

      I offered my opinion on some, I never belittled anyone for not sharing those opinions.

    12. Thing is about Indiana Jones, there's stupid stuff in all of the previous three films, especially Temple of Doom. So it's not fair to criticise Crystal Skull for having aliens or the fridge nuke scene without also acknowledging the dumb stuff in the original films. There's a tendency to look at those with rose-tinted glasses. It IS, however, valid to criticise Crystal Skull for yet again over-relying on CGI, making the aliens look stupid and make no objective sense, rekindling a romance nobody really cared that much about while also changing the character significantly, and just the general feeling that there was no real reason for the film to exist. And of course, there's absolutely no defending the prequel Star Wars trilogy.

    13. Well there's also the fact that Crystal Skull's action sequences had really shitty camera angles. To the point that you couldn't really appreciate the action that was going on. And while the Indiana Jones movies had stupid shit happening in it, it was believable because the narrative and suspense built up to it. Then again, that's my take on the crystal skull movie.

    14. It doesn't help that The plot of Man of Steel is almost a direct interpretation of JMS' awful Superman Year 1 Comic. That' why I hate the film. And yes, it is Nolanesque, Snyder may have directed it, but Warner Brothers wanted him to basically direct it like it was Nolan directing Batman Begins. Which is equally as awful.

    15. I didn't find Earth One to be "awful", not great either, but hardly awful.

      Also, seeing how vague your Nolanesque criticism is (what is "Nolanesque" to you?) I have a hard time taking it seriously.

    16. The overuse of nonlinear flashbacks
      The characters stating their motivations
      and over anylyzing them instead of letting actions speak for them
      Spontaneous romances that make no sense in context (and no, just because Lois and him have a relationship, you can't just make them want it)

    17. Oh, and over explaining and constantly restating the themes and plot points like we all have the retention capablities of fish...

    18. I'm sorry, gonna jump in here and give my two cents about the new Spidey flick (haven't seen MoS, unfortunately, but it looked massively 'meh'.)

      As for Amazing SM...the fight scenes were much better than on Raimi's trilogy, granted, but they got Peter Parker more wrong than anyone could ever have imagined. Peter is NOT a rule-defying, skateboarding faux-hipster jock. He is the farthest thing from, in fact. And the Raimi movies got that right, which makes them (in my view) much better. I could not help but wince at the new Peter. He's basically Goku from Dragonball Evolution, rather than an expy for myself at 17. He doesn't even start off wearing glasses, he only puts them on when (for some reason) he wants to look like a nerd for Gwen Stacy! Not to mention Andrew Garfield has none of the acting ability or capacity for empathy that Tobey Maguire does.

      It also annoyed me that neither director got Spidey's joking-while-fighting shtick right. Here, they overcompensate by making him tell 50 jokes in one scene and then abandoning it forever. That's not how it works, guys.

      With that said, ASM was still better than Spider-Man 3. Not that that's hard...

    19. @ShaolinDave

      When I meant "Being a jerk about it" and "putting others to a lower standard because of their opinions" I was talking about people in general, not to attack you. Though I must be more precise about it. You know people like Spoony who said, outside of his persona of course, that those who like Tron Legacy are moron or those who like Final Fantasy XIII are delusional.

      Sorry if I sound like I attacked you. Because, I'm not. I just have used the wrong words about it.

    20. @Pedro: I think that Spidey's jokes work far better in comic books than in movies. Talking may be a Free Action in comics, but it doesn't work nearly so well in movies. I consider it pragmatism.

    21. Wha...? How...? Oh, I'll say it later, first I'll just address these points.

      "The overuse of nonlinear flashbacks"
      I liked them. Everyone knows Superman's story so it's a great way of getting those moments out of the way. Plus, they all set up different things that were pretty important later on.

      "The characters stating their motivations and over anylyzing them instead of letting actions speak for them"
      There's nothing inherently wrong with this.

      "Spontaneous romances that make no sense in context (and no, just because Lois and him have a relationship, you can't just make them want it)"
      I don't know why people assume they were a couple at the end of the film. Kissing =/= being a couple, it was much more likely the result of their mutual attraction (which was quite evident if you watched previous scenes, especially Clark's interrogation) and because of a sudden rush of adrenaline since Clark had just saved Lois from near-death in a pretty spectacular fashion.

      "Oh, and over explaining and constantly restating the themes and plot points like we all have the retention capablities of fish..."
      Considering they introduced several concepts that never existed even in the comics (the Codex, for example) I see nothing wrong with this. Just because you don't need help with assimilating new concepts doesn't mean other people don't as well.

      And finally, how are any of these inherent of a Nolan film? You can find several of these if not all of them in any other movies that weren't directed or even produced by Nolan. Kinda feels like the cool thing nowadays is to bag on Nolan. Guess what, not everyone wants their superheroes to be snarky jokesters, there's a little thing called variety out there and I like seeing it be encouraged.

    22. I never said they were a couple. I simply said romance. And it still comes out of nowhere since so little time was spent with Lois and Supes together. And it is a bad thing to constantly explain everything. it breaks the rule of show, don't tell. With Visual mediums, u cannot just constantly explain everything. That's like awesome fight scenes being not shown, but talked about. And yes, a lot of films reccently have dones this, after Nolan made them popular with Batman Begins and the Dark Knight...

    23. Man of Steel to me represented a problem that I have with how people perceive Superman. Superman is, at his core, the golden standard for what a superhero should be. He's powerful, kind, clever, and so on. So many people believe that a character like that is incapable of relating to but they seem to constantly forget that Superman is a character that's meant to be admired rather than be relatable.

      Superman is NOT the kind of character that you can simply humanize. Considering the type of threats that he has to fight of, the drama in a story should come primarily from the threat at hand. You CAN make a story where Supermans personal issue with his abilities, but the fact that MoS won't stop going on about it clashes with the primary appeal of Superman, that he is represents the best of humanity (in ideals, not species). Oh, the movie will take every opportunity to tell the audience how great he'll become, never once does it think to actually let the audience come to that conclusion on our own.

      What I'm basically saying is, the makers of this movie didn't GET Superman, so they went based off what they thought he should be. Frank Miller did that once. Didn't end well.

    24. That and the constant attempts of making Superman Jesus like. Nevermind that Superman was created by two jewish immigrants, but was also much more of a Moses style figure, really. I get tired of Supes as Jesus metaphors. Something that was also in JMS' Year One comic...

    25. The Jesus metaphor really is stupid. That makes his character even more of a self-contradiction. Last time I checked, Clark got his ideals and morals from Johnathan and Martha Kent. By comparing Superman to Jesus, it's implying that Clark was BORN with his a strong moral compass without the influence of his adopted parents.

    26. And is a martyr. Jesus died for the sins of mankind to be cleansed from the earth. He became mankinds redemption. Superman is a symbol of hope. that one man can use his powers for the greater good. He strives to make a better world, not dying for peoples sins, or believing he is the messiah (which Jesus was. He was dying so that others would be reborn in heaven).

    27. In closing, allow me to quote a question James Rolfe asked in his Spider-Man 3 review:

      Say we cut out all those little annoying parts in the movie. Every flaw that's ever been commented on, we handle the villains differently, the sub-plots get removed or changed, anything, you name it. What will happen then? Will everybody be pleased? No. People will still find more things to dwell on, and no matter what the outcome is, every movie like this will be treated with mixed reactions.

    28. @Deepghoul

      While not everyone will be pleased at the very least they'll be less people pissed at the movie. Every movie has its haters, but some just seem to have more than others.

    29. Oops clicked the publish button too early.

      The point I'm trying to make is that just because not everyone is gonna like the work you put out, doesn't excuse you from trying to please as many people as possible. These script writers and movie directors know their audience, they know what people think about whiny heroes and idiotic ideas.

  2. I'm super hyped up for Pikmin 3 guys.

  3. aw fuck bores discovered pokémon

    1. He does know about Pokemon a long time ago. When he first saw the first Skylanders game at E3 2011, he commented it's like Pokemon.

      Now that Pokemon Rumble's coming out, what do you think he's going to say?

      "Uh-oh, Skylanders has a new challenger babbeh!"

    2. And there was brushing off Mewtwo in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Naturally, the version of it that got him was the one that's combined with a trading figure game. I am interested in it for how it will use the Wii U Gamepad, though.

  4. You know bores seems to be obsessed with thing being larger than normal when most of the time it doesn't matter, I'll let you think about what that means. Funny how me mentions The Homer since it is very similar to how he thinks games should go.

  5. Replies
    1. Well,at a younger age, I was a fan of the original series so I decided to give it a try to get a nostalgic feeling. I didn't get that from this. It's just a Teen Titans version of Johnny Test. I mean, really? An episode purely based on someone doing the laundry? If they could get all 5 original voice actors, I just don't see why they just couldn't bring back the original series. The animation and writing style would be different but at least it would be an actual serious series, which Cartoon Network really seems to be lacking nowadays.

    2. I've barely started to watch Teen Titans, I didn't exactly grow up with the show, but since Teen Titans is on Boomerang at 11EST/10CST for an hour, I've started to get into the series. As for TTG, I've managed to watch all (as of now) 9 episodes of that show. My thoughts are that while it may veer into out-right slapstick, it doesn't feel too horrible.

      I treat it as bizzare comedy, not meant to be taken seriously, as if they made this to be a contrast of the first series. Believe me, I'd rather have this show over the "live action" shows that Cartoon Network has on.

    3. Yes, Teen Titans Go is much lighter than the original series; not even coming within the slight of seriousness. It veers into complete insanity quite often; and I find it better than most of Cartoon Network's other content for this year (Grojband and Uncle Grandpa look horrendous).
      As for Beware the Batman, I am enjoying the dark storylines and the use of villains who aren't part of Batsy's usual rogues gallery (I was quite surprised with how the villains in the first three episodes turned out, especially Anarky). Still, I would recommend that people see the older DCAU before they watch it.

    4. I've seen several episodes of it and it is funny as long as you don't go into it expecting the original show.

      And I've seen the first episode of Beware the Batman. Pretty good. Not the original animated series good but focusing on some more obscure characters is an interesting way to go about things.

    5. Also I'd recommend the Teen Titans Go! comic book, which is based off the show and keeps the same art design from the show as well.

    6. Teen Titans, not the Teen Titans Go! show, my bad.

    7. as a fan of the original 1960s comics and the 2003 show, Titans GO! is not worth my time. I mean, yeah, I'm glad they brought back the original voice cast but the whole show is just 1 minute of action and 10 minutes of comedy that a 5-year-old will laugh at.

    8. This is probably a "guilty pleasure" for some.

  6. Will you guys check this artwork?

    1. Yeah it seems good. Not exactly professional but I'm not an artist nor do I want to be one.

  7. Am I the only one who hates Equestria Girls after watching it?

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Lauren Faust commented on it (though probably indirectly) "Even "American Girls" was once radically positive for girls before it was homogenized for money. "

    3. To be honest, I liked it. Not because I'm a Brony or a mark for MLP, I just like it for the fact that it entertained me.

    4. I'm not a brony though I've watched the entire gen 4 show and I found it mostly empty and dull. Some amusing bits and references but nothing memorable.

  8. I give it two months before Chris gives up on this news stuff.

    1. I doubt he'll give it up. Rather, considering how Chris can barely pull out frequent videos from multiple shows, he'll probably just put less focus on the articles after a while in order to focus on making videos. Then after some videos, he'll go back to the articles being his main focus.

      I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

  9. As for the MTG From the Vault, the price for it will surely go up more and more. The fact that there is a Foil Mind Sculptor in it ensures that it will go higher.

    Also, the reason people will like it and curse it both is because of how broken it is. People will like because know they will have a easier way to get it.

    People hate it simply because the card is completely broken. Imagine a card that let's you control what your opponent draws, can deal with threats they play, let's you look at the top 3 cards of your deck and re-arrange them with cards in your hand and put 2 back on top of your deck, and then for a real kick in the nuts, let's you auto-win by taking your opponents library and removing it from the game, leaving them with no cards to draw and an auto-loss.

    Also another reason that people will love it? Regular Jace, the Mind Sculptor cards sell for $200 a pop and the foil versions sell for $800 a pop. This will give them a chance to get one of the best cards in the game, that is a foil version, for a somewhat decent amount.

    1. People will like it because now they will have an easier way to get it.*

  10. Bores trying to take credit for the Superman/Batman crossover is like the Ali G episode where he tries to take credit for Playstation 2 because "I was playing Playstation 1 and thought "there should be a better one."" It's also like the idiots who used first-grade level conjecture to fill the plotholes in ME3's ending then said they "paid attention" when BioWare's rush-job DLC patch happened to use the exact same basic gap-filler that took literally zero effort to produce. Even if Bores was joking (and I wouldn't put it past him to genuinely believe himself) it doesn't work because he didn't make it clear enough that it WAS a joke.

    Also, I'm a little surprised you didn't notice his mistake in "You Moron! Dumpster Diver Makes Paper Mache Sculpture From $40,000 Comic Books.” What's a dumpster DIVER? Someone who dives into dumpsters? Is it like someone who dives into paddling pools? It's always hilarious when someone uses a slur knocking someone else's intelligence then immediately makes such a basic error as this. Like when people say someone else is a "retart" or that they can't "right" properly.


      It's just searching through garbage for stuff you might find useful.

  11. I actually thought PewDiePie is okay. But anyways, Bores sure is very egotistical, desperately telling people that he is associated with big companies like Warner Brothers.

    1. PewDiePie is... OK? Interesting...

    2. My sister likes watching him and I thought he's alright too.

    3. It's the fans that are the real problem if you ask me. Though unlike Chris Bores, Pew Die pie has made a lot of statements against his 'bro army'.

    4. Some of the hate toward PewDiePie is somewhat headscratching for me. I personally don't care for him, but he's generally nice guy and I can see why people would gravitate to him. Like Mr. Kill Ultra said, it's his fans that are the issue. Hating PewDiePie because of how obnoxious his fanboys can be is like saying that The Last of Us is a terrible game because you're annoyed at how many times they're played the trailer of it online.

    5. I'll wholeheartedly agree that his fans are the worst aspect. To me, they're are the literal worst fans on the internet. I can't stand them. I don't care for his videos, but since he dissed the rape jokes (as far as I know) I'm content with just ignoring it. PewDiePie as a person on the other hand... I have reason to believe he is nice with all of the charity (minus him using charity as a defense in his "I'm Sorry" video), but a pretentious jerk with everything else. He doesn't make an attempt to restrict his fans, and I'm sure he's more than happy to encourage the hate, so I'll happily blame him for not even trying to put his fans in their place.

  12. Despite my having almost no familiarity with Squirrel Girl outside of being amused by her existence, I love the character.

    1. I wished they showed the fight against doctor doom and her. It's a shame it became a off screen joke though.

    2. I've heard about that. How... exactly did that happen?

    3. I've always found Squirrel Girl to be an awfully unfunny joke with an overly abused punchline. From all the characters Bores has dissed this is the only instance I approve of.

    4. @Vince

      It was a silverage comic, so stupidity is expected and adored.

    5. Of course its second only to the moment where Dr.Doom made african american doom bots, tasked Luke Cage to destroy those bots for $200, refused to pay the black guy and then subsequently had his country demolished and him brutally beaten by an angry Luke Cage.

    6. @Mr.Kill Ultra

      *reads page*


    7. I thought they showed that Dr. Doom fight onscreen. For every squirrel he tossed away, several more took their place, or something.

    8. Oh I meant the Thanos fight.

  13. Chris Bores posted a comment:

    "@Jonathan & fwank: They had a big MLP Bronie convention over the weekend in Cleveland, Ohio. I was loling at the news coverage of those poor lost men/childs. lmao ~"

    this is coming from the same person who plays Skylanders. (and won't stop talking about it) you have no room to judge others.

    1. Hey Dynamite Ninja, where have you been? Haven't seen you lately.

    2. Congratulations Bores, you just gave me another reason to hate you. He's probably just trolling, though.

    3. @HeatEdgeSword

      I've been doing stuff with my family. vacation, social gatherings, etc. How's everything been holding up here at the blog?

    4. @DynamiteNinja - You know, I wonder how many bronies and pegasisters are going to call out Bores for his hypocrisy the way he treated them, given his Skylanders obsession. I also wonder if Tara Strong and the other MLP VAs even know who Bores is...

    5. @Andrew Schroy
      I seriously doubt that they do, since Bores is becoming so obscure to a lot people, no one but his 13-year-old fanboy still support him.

    6. Wow that comment by Bores is
      hypocritical, but then what do we expect eh?

    7. Where can I find this comment at?

  14. Irate gamer uploaded 3 new videos on his channel. But those videos are all about SKYLANDERS.
    Jeez, Chris. I know you liked Skylander, but your fans don't.

    1. Not to mention with every Skylanders video, he's chasing his subscribers away.

  15. Talking about Pokemon. I found one of few top 10 list that I don't like.
    He got his fact about Pokemon anime wrong. Especially that part that he said it's all about collecting all Pokemon even though the main character Ash don't catch all Pokemon as possible. And the worst part is I don't watch Pokemon anime anymore.

    Well, he also did My Little Pony Friendship is Magic as well, but I don't care about it because it's quite obvious that he hates it.

    1. He's just like Silent Rob: He only hates MLP just for the sake of hating it. He probably hasn't even watched a single episode and just follows what that little walnut he calls a brain tells him, "HURR DURR IT A GIRLS SHOW DAT MEAN IT SUX!" *sigh* Sometimes I wonder if ignorance really is bliss.

    2. It's quite ironic because he's a fan of Lauren Faust and she developed it. I can't see his reason why he hated it.

    3. He says that Phineas and Ferb is good, but he places it on a list of worst cartoons in a decade. I do not understand his logic.

      I also wouldn't consider Pokemon to be a cartoon of the 2000s.

  16. So, I got this from one of Bores many fans in a PM.

    maybe if u had a brain in that tiny litle head of urs than u would know that life is 2 short 2 be wastin time on spellin so i avoid that probelm al-together by just typin out the leters i need. obviously u understand what im gettin at so mision acomplishedd. and by the looks of it u r retarded my gangsta diangosis confirms that u r 100 percentile gay. its got the superggangsta seal of gangstam so u know u gay. and nigga my man the computa is the onyl way we can spread the avgn and the govenrments lies i mean they both be working to gether and chirs is the only one that can stop them. i mean if youve seen the season 4four of the chirs irate game show u will see that chris is the chosen one and that he and only he will prevail agianst all. ALL HAIL CHIRS THE IRATE GAMER!!!!!!!!!!

    Note the atrocious spelling, the fact that he honestly believes that the government and AVGN are working together(in another reply, he actually claims they're working together to make AVGN the president of the world), the fact that he believes Chris' videos and believes that Chris is the Chosen One, and then the ending.

    Curious what you all think about this.

    1. I'm pretty sure this guy's just trolling you. No one's that paranoid... at least that's what I'm going to tell myself.

    2. @ZeldaFan Yeah, that's what I said. After seeing the guy I can state that there is clearly nothing "gangsta" about him.

      He goes by superGgangsta on youtube.

    3. Oh jeez, how many years have passed by and they're STILL obsessed with the Irate Gamer?! Not only that, but the whole 'government is out to get us' crap makes me think they don't get out very much.

      @skyrunner14 I don't know man, have you seen any of their videos? In their "AVGN SUCKS THE IRATE GAMERS DICK" video (great title, by the way) they seem very passionate about Bores and hating the AVGN.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    5. @doobster
      Oh yeah, I've seen those jokers before. You do realize they're trolling, right?

    6. @ZeldaFan I think you're giving them too much credit.

  17. You know, going-off topic and talking about Hasbro in general, what could Bores say about the following? We know his thoughts on the Transformers, G.I. Joe, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...

    Rescue Bots
    Kaijudo: Rise/Clash of the Duel Masters
    G.I. Joe: Renegades
    Pound Puppies
    Littlest Pet Shop

    1. He would say that Rescue Bots sucks cause it doesn't have Decepticons, it's aimed for little kids, and would say it's a rip off of Rescue Heroes from Tonka.

    2. Seeing that he's a huge GI Joe fan, he will definitely say that GI Joe: Renegades is awesome...even though I heard from many fans that the show was underwhelming, which is why it didn't get a second season.

      Then I'm sure Bores will make a video of him blowing up The Hub or Hasbro for not making a second season.

    3. @Sovereign64
      Actually GI Joe: Renegades was freakin awesome though only if you weren't expecting the corny antics of the original show. The real reason the show got canceled was because of GI Joe Retaliation aka the second movie.

      “…we’re very pleased with the performance of G.I. JOE RENEGADES on The Hub. The series will go on hiatus at the end of season one while the second installment of the G.I. Joe movie franchise is being produced so Hasbro and Hasbro Studios can ensure the creative and storyline continuity that fans of the films and the series expect. We’ll have original episodes into the summer and we envision resuming new animation following the movie.”

    4. Maybe if that and the others do well enough we can finally get that new Jem Cartoon...I wanna be truly outrageous again!!!

    5. And now that I think about it, if he looked at Littlest Pet Shop, he'd complain about it being an MLP rip-off (just like what bronies said when the show was first announced) due to using some of the same voice actors (i.e., Ashleigh Ball) and characters having similar color schemes (i.e., Zoe Trent having similar colors to Twilight Sparkle), and he would gripe that it's for younger kids, which, given his Skylanders obsession, would make him even more of a hypocrite. He'd probably complain about the songs (most of which, like "BFFs" and "Wolf-i-Fied", are awesome) that Daniel Ingram has composed, too.

      @BelieveinTHESHIELD - And I like how Hasbro decided to expand the Transformers franchise so that younger fans can enjoy it with Rescue Bots. (My favorites are Blades and Chase, BTW.)

  18. Haha.

    1. Heh Heh. Yeah. Brentalfloss was hilarious here. I can't wait for IG and Asalieri to lead a pointless crusade against him...

    2. Wow, there are a few potshots at Bores in this...

    3. I thoroughly thank you for showing this to me... I love this so much.

    4. Question: Is Keith Apicary just doing a bit? I'm sort of confused to whether or not he's playing a character or not. Bare in mind, I've never heard of the guy until now.

    5. A couple of the Bores jokes seemed like low hanging fruit, though Floss's closing line on him got a pretty good chuckle:

      "They say you shouldn't speak about someone who's not around to defend themselves, unless you say something good, so, Chris Bores is not here. Good."

      All around, pretty funny.

    6. @VinceThePhilosopher
      Yes, Keith Apicary is a character. Kind of like Andy Kaufman.
      His real name is Nathan Barnatt, who does have a Wikipedia article.

    7. I just watched it, I really liked the whole thing except for James not involving himself. Even if he is a nice guy I would've loved to have heard what jokes he'd come up with for his friends.
      I remember Spoony's roast a couple years back, his retort video was great.

  19. The Matty thing is not "Chris nicknames Mattel": It's just Mattel's online website, MattyCollector.