Tuesday, September 10, 2013

No Arms and Legs? That's Rayman. No Effort? That's Chris Bores.

*stretches* Huh? Another video already? And it’s another Neo episode? Wow, that was fast.

He’ll be talking about Rayman Legends, which came out 7 days ago here in North America. Meaning this review is going to be rushed and crappy. *looks at time* It’s only two minutes long so I am correct in my assumption.

Intro

0:06 - 0:38:  IG opens the video telling us he’ll be looking at “Raymin Legends”. Yeah he has a weird pronunciation of Rayman. At least he’s looking at the Wii U version, meaning he has a Wii U now. GotGame must be so glad they’re wasting money on him.

He mentions he played it at E3. Take a shot!
He follows that saying that he had trouble figuring out what to do at first because he didn’t know to find the “trapped blue guys” (you mean the Teensies?) which unlock other parts of the game. Does the game not explain this or something?

0:39 - 1:16: “Now this might be geared towards kids” Oh screw you! Rayman has way more charm and class than any of those “gritty gritty bang bang” shooters that insecure “adults” like to champion as the pinnacle of maturity.
But he follows that up saying “older generations” will like the challenge or something. Then he dies and we get a forced anger shot of him.

“Plus, if you have the Nintendo Wii version” WII U! Not Wii! Wii U! Look, if you’re trying to be hardcore, get it fucking right. Still, I also blame Nintendo for giving it the stupidest fucking name ever. This is a pretty big reason sales are low, because the public is stupid and doesn’t realize that it’s an all new console. They still think it’s an accessory for the Wii, and again I blame Nintendo for doing a poor job marketing it.
But again, Bores is at fault for being as dumb as the unwashed masses.
He then mentions how a fifth player can use the GamePad’s touch screen to move things around. Then highlights the fact it’s a five player game with an effect showing four IG’s in different boxes in the corner messing with the GamePad. Ignoring that the Wii U can only handle one GamePad at a time, I’m wondering why one of the IG’s has an eye patch. It’s completely out of nowhere.
Just as out of nowhere as the Evil Gamer being the fifth player and acting really obnoxious. Twice in a row! What is with all the Evil Gamer appearances? It doesn’t make sense!

1:17 - 1:47: He says there’s “so much to do in the game” but doesn’t say what there is to do. As per usual.
He likes the graphics, the gameplay, and that there’s a ton of unlockable characters  Then we get a bit where he goes all the way to the end and sees the last character requires a million Lums to unlock and… yeah it’s pointless.
He also says it’s “great for kids”. Oh my god nobody cares! Oh wait, I forgot your audience is all kids. Wait no, kids today can get away with playing M-Rated games because the unwashed masses don’t care about ESRB ratings. People still think video games are toys so parents buy their kids the most violent games possible without a care in the world. We’re raising a generation of screwed up kids.

The video ends with IG acknowledging that he’s reviewing “kid-oriented games” a lot, but he can’t help it because they’re so fun. That’s the point you dumbass! It doesn’t matter if a game is for kids or adults, all that matters if it’s fun! If you need to assert your “maturity” because you like to play Mario or Pokemon or Rayman, then you’re insecure!

Blah review was blah.
He didn’t really say anything about the game outside of “it’s fun, and for kids”. Since he never played Origins, I doubt he would find comparisons between the two. Either way, all he’s doing is mind-numbing nothingness.
Oh and of course he didn’t beat the game. Hell, according to Micharon (one of my readers), he didn’t get past the first boss of Diablo III. This would explain how he managed to get both reviews out in a short time.

I think back to what he said in his Injustice review, about how he “saviors” a game. I imagine that’s a load of crap. He plays enough of a game to get footage for a short review then never looks back at it again. Hell, his “gaming room” isn’t a room, it’s a set. A set that he only goes to when he gets off his lazy ass and decides “I should probably do that thing I do for YouTube.”

Seriously, what’s with all the Evil Gamer appearances? Is it a tie-in to his iOS game? Which he hasn’t said a damn thing about? Funny how he was hyping it, but then the game came out and now he won’t say anything outside of a response on Facebook about “bug fixes”. Pfffffffft.

EDIT: I just noticed he did the Diablo III and Rayman Legends reviews at the same time. He's wearing the same shirt in both videos. Is this a new thing now? Knocking out as many Neo reviews as possible, even if it means filming them all at the same time?

36 comments:

  1. How much you wanna bet he hasn't actually PLAYED his own game, and that's why he isn't saying anything about it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, he reviewed his own game, that could be something that he said about it.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, but he did it claiming to be a "huge fan" of his own show, so it kinda makes you think he was pretending to not be himself. If he lied about that, then why not lie about even PLAYING the game?

      Delete
  2. Oh wow, another boring ass Neo video again? I love how he never mentions anything about the bosses or the minigames. Those were damn fun. He just goes like "This game is cool, it is for kids blah blah". God dang it. It is like asking for a 4 years old kid what they think about video games and they say "It is cool". Jesus christ, Bores.

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  3. I rejected the whole "kiddy game/adult game" dichotomy when I was still a preteen and most susceptible to that kind of thinking. Why is it that people like Bores can't do the same?

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  4. I hope BatDan was kidding when he used the term "unwashed masses" and said that he thinks most people are stupid. Otherwise, it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

    Sony was the only company to make a console name that isn't confusing, but they did it by being uncreative for the third time in a row.

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  5. Really? Rayman is for kids? Cuz the original games were ninja gaiden hard. I know Cuz I have played them, unlike bores. I had rayman 2 for ps1 and played the original on GBA. Haven't played the new ones. Hmm, I'll have to do that...

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    Replies
    1. Both the second and third Rayman games have hard final bosses. Plus Rayman 2 had the one level that seemed to drag on forever (it was a lava level) and Rayman 3's fifth world was confusing, and I never passed it as a child.

      Also, didn't Bores publicly threaten Ubisoft some time ago?

      Delete
    2. Who said that children's games had to be easy?

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    3. I know this. But Bores just sees that it's a kids game. I know Rayman is for everyone. Now the animated series based on it...

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    4. My favourite game this year so far is Sly Cooper Thieves in Time. I'm 26 this week. People like Bores who constantly feel the need to justify their approval of a game that doesn't have copious amounts of swearing, tits and decapitations are the very definition of childishness and immaturity.

      Delete
    5. Yeah. It's just to bad that this mentality has ruined great gaming icons. Like Dante and resident evil. Capcom in general actually. Sorry, I know I have made a lot of strikes against Capcom but man, it hurts...

      Delete
    6. Eh. I respect your opinion, but I hate that "this Dante has more depth" thing. I found about a flat as a piece of paper. He was mopey cause he was a nephilim. I could read the X-Men for that. And yeah, I know that show was bad, I'm just one of those weirdos that dig through the internet for obscure animation, like Time Fighters and Time Fighters in the Land of Fantasy.

      Delete
  6. Why is the Evil Gamer british now?

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  7. I would be willing to play this game. The Rayman games provide good challenge and have been trickier on later stages for people my age. He didn't even bring up the stage where you storm a castle to "Black Betty" and fight in tune with the music! That got some pretty big marketing push by Ubisoft in commercials and the demo! I personally don't feel a need to try and "justify" my liking of Nintendo games, Sonic, and other family-oriented game series, because I've learned to not care what other people think. Also, I do concede that 3.5 million units for the Wii U is a serious case of underperformance given the one-year head start it has on the PS4 and Xbox One. Hopefully, the fact that more games are coming out for it will get more people to buy one (after the GTAV PS3, a Wii U will be the next console I'm after. I can wait until the new Star Wars Battlefront comes out before I consider getting a PS4).

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  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8bpNA-R7Y8

    Asa has lost another friend.

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  9. I own Rayman Legends. It's up and away the best third party game on the Wii U, and probably the best third party platformer I've ever played. I still think that DKCR2 is going to outclass it, but still, I'm having a lot of fun with it, even after beating all of the levels.

    But yeah, The Wii U is showing all the signs of taking off properly in the next few months, with a number of games in varying genres being released. I'm super stoked, especially for the Wonderful 101. Five more days, people!

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  10. For those that care I probably will not be able to make videos for a bit my sister got me sick, and well because of extenuating circumstances even the flu could probably drop me.

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  11. Please, accept my Greetings for Patriot Day. I'm sorry for all the dire things that happened today. Never forget.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey, check it out. Once again Bores makes a video and Ladybuggin goes inactive. What's funny is that Ladybuggin didn't become active until 17 hours after Chris posted the video.

    To think, the Ladybuggin account wasted so much time trying to convince everyone that it's Chris' mom, and then does things like this that makes it evident that it's really Chris himself.

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  13. Speaking of Rayman, how many f you have seen this?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz_msXNQeXU

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  14. A new Nerd episode is out.

    http://cinemassacre.com/2013/09/06/avgn-tiger-electronic/

    It's alright.

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  15. So I tried going to Bores sight to see if he had updated anything and see if he changed anything. I did not know that he turned his old site into his pursuit of the paranormal site...weird. Does his new site have access to his episodes? If not, that's kind of dumb...

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  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3SLxuOM0A
    Oh god. He says he could've easily went on Kickstarter and funded it himself, but instead he spent his own money on it. I felt like he REALLY wanted to say that.

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