Friday, April 17, 2015

Week of April 13th: Arrows and Bats. Feels like DC Comics.

According to a comment from Bores, pretending to be his mom again, he reserves his main videos for Friday while Monday & Wednesday are “other things”. Why he couldn’t explain this in a site post or in a video is beyond my comprehension but at least we now have an idea of what he’s doing.
What does this mean for me? I don’t know, I’m still working out what to do. I guess you’ll see recaps on either Friday or Saturday, or even Thursday if one of the first two videos has a lot of crap in it.

Monday’s video is a Let’s Play of Kid Icarus. Sounds like this is a new trend to look out for. When he “reviews” something, an LP will follow.
Here are the “highlights”

- Facecam is in a different position. He’s now sitting in a chair and not on the floor. At least he improved that.
He also has a cold.

- It’s nostalgic, he loves this game. You didn’t really show that when you threw it on the ground and smashed an eggplant on it. That’s a really bizarre way of showing “love”.
“It has a learning curve” Not really… the controls are simple. All you have to “learn” is to dodge enemies, and that’s standard in almost every game. If anything, Uprising has a learning curve considering how counter-intuitive those controls are. Still waiting for a Wii U remake Nintendo.

- He claims that people misunderstood his intention with the video, believing that he hated the game, when he was just trying to show it was really hard. Chris, you can’t actually be THIS dense. You call yourself the Irate Gamer, you spend entire videos saying a game is bad, very often reaching for “flaws” that are either normal for games or issues NOBODY had with it, you go through videos without mentioning positive aspects (you didn’t mention DuckTales’ music once, how do you even do that?!), you shouldn’t be surprised that people think you hate a game. Unless you make it clear that it’s satire (like The Cinema Snob) or actually explain your real feelings in the video (like most reviewers worth a damn) then people are going to think you hate the games you talk about. How long have you been doing this? How do you still not get it?

- He mentions the Game Boy Kid Icarus game (Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters) and he wants to find a way to review that. Again, you’re supposed to look at bad games. The game should come first, then the jokes. Not the jokes first.

- At one point he calls what he’s doing a review. Wow, he really doesn’t know the difference.

- He mentions a “coincidence” that happened after he reviewed the game. He reveals that the childhood friend that introduced him to the game… died. Jeez, that’s morbid. He just says it all so casually too. Moving on…

- He mentions that people asked him about Kid Icarus Uprising. He says he only played it at E3 and didn’t like it so he didn’t get it. His loss, Uprising is awesome. Even if the controls are troublesome. I think the reason is that Chris is left-handed and the game is not very kind to lefties unless they have the Circle Pad Pro (or the New 3DS XL). If you’re wondering why I think Chris is left-handed, his OLD video Back to the Past shows him writing with his left hand.

- After another death, he keeps going on about Uprising. He didn’t think it looked good, because it was a departure from what made the first game “iconic”. You’re a fool. Do you really think they wouldn’t update the game 25 years later? Even the New Super Mario Bros series is different from the old games, adding triple-jumping, wall-jumping, and completely different physics and power-ups. Along with multiplayer for the console versions. I know people like to bring up the old “Zelda is the same game since Ocarina of Time” argument, but that always brings plenty new to each iteration. Hell, Uprising actually kept a lot of elements from the first game. Hearts as currency, the death jingle, all the game’s bosses returned (including Tanatos, the snake that fought alongside Medusa. Though now he’s called Thanatos, the H stands for HAAMAZING!), many of the enemies returned, hot springs, the Three Sacred Treasures, all mixed in with a ton of new elements like various weapons, lots of new characters, and multiplayer.
He claims people told him they didn’t like it. Sounds like people that couldn’t git gud. As I said earlier, Uprising has a learning curve much like Demon’s Souls/Dark Souls/Bloodborne or The Wonderful 101.  I guess Bores just wanted to hear it sucked so he believed it sucked.
Eventually he does say he’ll check it out but not now. Prepare for bitching!

- Throughout the video, he keeps trying to avoid the Reapers instead of killing them. I don’t think he realizes they can be killed.

- After dying again, he calls this a “review” again, and says this is to show stuff he “didn’t cover”. Is that why you didn’t mention the various power-ups, the health restoring items, the hot springs, or even the music? One thing that could have been mentioned was its relationship with Metroid. Both were made by Gunpei Yokoi, both had similar password systems, one game is about going up to Heaven while the other is going down to the center of the planet, even the Komayto enemies in Skyworld resemble Metroids (which I will say despite Viridi’s objections)

- Apparently the one thing that people complained about enough for him to address was the hammers in the Boss Fortresses, and how they can free the Centurions from statues. Why didn’t he bring this up before? HE DOESN’T SAY! It was probably “it was funnier if I didn’t” but he realized he can’t say that because people gave him crap for saying that before.

At least this wasn’t as bad as the DuckTales LP. No long pauses of silence, no interrupting the flow just to find a copy of a different game, but it was still boring with idiotic moments.

Wednesday’s video is about amiibo. HOLY SHIT 27 MINUTES?! Dear god!
Going by the title, it’s about the supply issues with the upcoming Smash Bros Wave 4. Charizard, Robin, Lucina, Pac-Man, Wario, Ness, Greninja, and Jigglypuff (the last three being retail exclusives in North America). As well as the Splatoon amiibo coming out the same day.
You know, this doesn’t need a long rambling video to basically say “Nintendo needs to make more supply, and stores need to limit one per customer to cease the immense scalping. Nintendo also needs to realize that people don’t want endless Marios and Links and need to supply the stores with the “lesser” characters. They should also sell amiibo on their online store as it goes directly to them. Why should I pay $80 for Little Mac when he’s normally supposed to be $13?!”

I’ve got better things to do with my time. I’m not going to spend half an hour watching this.
Uatu did inform me that near the end of the video, he announced he opened a new site.
amiiboinformer.com.
Checking it… it’s another blog with Bores just gushing about fan art. If you’ve been following amiibo at all, there are vastly better sources you could go to. Such as myamiibonews.com or amiiboinquirer.com.
Still, GotGame let him open another site on their servers. What does he even bring? It's certainly not traffic. The last two videos he posted there didn't even get 1000 hits.

Friday’s video is… lame.
It’s another one of his “IG Shorts”, only it’s no longer called that, it’s now called “NES Sprite Fun”. That is flagrant false advertising, there is nothing “fun” here.
It’s Bores and *sighs* fucking Ronnie in Castlevania. They approach the Giant Bat (the first boss) who happens to be sleeping. Bores tries to formulate a plan, but Simon Belmont throws a Holy Water at it and wakes it up. … That’s the end. Well not entirely as the “plz subscreebe” message has him running from the Giant Bat as apparently this is somehow funny. Whole thing is only a minute.

So much for Friday being the “big video day”. Maybe the cold did it?

I imagine we’ll get whatever he planned next week.

71 comments:

  1. So the "big video day" was just a big disappointment. Not surprising at all.

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  2. Man, Bores just gets better and better doesn't he? Oh, wait, he's not.

    Can't wait to see what next week brings... :D

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    Replies
    1. Monday: Skylanders

      Wednesday: A 2-minute clip of him eating cereal (because it's his fetish)

      Friday: Deleting and then re-uploading the Lakitu skit from 1 year ago

      Delete
  3. Frankly, I think Boring Man is about as qualified to talk about supply and demand as Captain Planet is to talk about overpopulation . He's done badly in the past; his misunderstanding with Amiibo is no exception . Till Monday, Dan, be seeing you.

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    Replies
    1. You're a fan of MysteriousMrEnter, aren't you?

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    2. In this case it's wrong but he doesn't know it's wrong so he'll do it anyway

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  4. I have two different theories as to why Bores talked about his friend's death so casually:

    1. There is no friend and he just made him up to garner more fake sympathy, just like how he said that he was a religious person in his "Opening Up" video (even though his actions throughout the past 7 years say otherwise). I don't know if he said much about his dad when he was sick, but he never said what he was sick from in the update video. I can't say that it was a sensitive thing for him, because he sounded perfectly fine when talking about it (even seeming like he was bragging).

    2. Bores really has learned nothing from the JewWario and Leonard Nimoy incidents.

    Eh, it's probably the latter, anyway. Can we bring the count of Bores disrespecting the dead up to 3?

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    1. I think he must of made up the friend because why else would he mention it other than "feel bad for me". That or he just has ice water in his veins to not get emotional, or at least I assume judging by what people say, I haven't watch any of Chris videos since the Silver Surfer review and I'm keeping it that way.

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    2. I have a feeling that Bores made up his friend's death, and quite possibly the friend himself, due to the extremely casual tone. If he hasn't learned anything about the previous two incidents though, I would not be one bit surprised.

      The other problem about this (besides disrespecting the dead) is that if a family member or friend of Bores actually dies, people will not know if he's being genuine or bullshitting.

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    3. I still don't believe if his dad was actually "really close" to death. He could have at least said what his condition was.

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  5. Seriously, what the fuck is the deal with him and Ronnie!? Does he seriously think that people like that one-dimensional, one joke character?

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  6. The reason The Bores shows only the Bat on Castlevania kinda makes me wonder if he only went as far in the game, so that's the only boss enemy he knows.

    Also, a little question for ya'll:

    Last week I completed a 3 hours long "Irate gamer fan movie" which will be part of a trilogy, with Bores very best moments, going from his show, to Haunted Investigators, to NEO, Breakfast, stupid sketches, etc...

    My question is: can I upload it to Youtube? Lenght is not problem since I'm authorized by Youtube to publish long videos. However, I already got a copyright strike from FUNimation, will uploading these Bores' videos get me in trouble? Or are "fan movies" fair use?

    Thanks!


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    Replies
    1. Bores did mention in a top 5 list that he had trouble defeating Darkwing Bat (That IS its name, isn't it?), so it's not surprising that it's the only boss he talks about. Most players would tell you horror stories about either Frankenstein's Monster or Death.
      -_-

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    2. http://castlevania.wikia.com/wiki/Giant_Bat

      It has many names.

      And yeah, the way he beat it was to crouch in the corner and spam Holy Water. Instead of the much more sensible method of using the Axe.

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    3. If you're worried about getting a copyright strike, I'd be glad to put it up for you to see if everything's okay before you upload it yourself.

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    4. Thanks, but I think I'll upload it first to DailyMotion, They're ok with stuff like this

      Delete
  7. What does Chris mean he wants to find a way to review Kid Icarus for the GameBoy. Does he mean he can't find anything to critiqued or he can't get a copy. If it's the latter it's not very hard to find a copy, just download it on 3DS, I know some people would rather to own a physical copy(like myself) but I don't think Chris is one of those people. If it's the former than why doesn't he just look at an actually bad game or do the unthinkable and just do a positive review.

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    Replies
    1. Do you seriously expect anything frpm him at this point?

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  8. Bores is the last person I want to hear talk about amiibo supply and demand, seeing as who knows how many of the ones he has were actually paid out of his pocket. He doesn't care enough to go out to a Target or Best Buy and spend a whole $13 to get a figure. I still can't believe he had the nerve to beg his fans to send him some.

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    Replies
    1. A lot of them are for insane bullshit prices on ebay, so it's understandable that people would bitch about more to be made. However, you're right about Bores having no right to do this. Bores never gave a shit about Amiibo in the first place and only got some because his fans wanted him to talk about them after he said "kids will like them." I love how this came from a man who won't shut the fuck up about Skylanders, which ARE actually horrible and kiddy (all hope is lost for anything with Activision's name on it). Also, if Bores is getting a lot of them through donations, then he's not doing a good job at crediting the people who have donated to him. He'd probably delete all the comments from people asking him why they didn't credit him anyway.

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  9. Regarding the NES Sprite "Fun" video, does Bores really delete that many negative comments, or do so many people get high before watching his videos to say "hilarious" and "I loved this" to what should have been a letdown to them?

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  10. BTW, has anyone ever seen this?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd22qtwImhg

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    Replies
    1. Huh. Looks better than the actual Irate Gamer Game.

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    2. Big fan of that series, actually made my own version of it: http://realshow.deviantart.com/gallery/46341452/Smash-Bros-Lawl

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    3. Bores certainly doesn't have the necessary skills to win using himself. It's a great allegory of his content and actions too, actually.

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    4. Snake's Codec for Bores is also really spot on.

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  11. I've been a reader for a while, and I thought it was time to finally post a comment here. So... hi?

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  12. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JhaHo5fAD64

    New CMR, folks.

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  13. Went back to see the comments on Bores' "opening up" video. Saw this comment from UFRecords01:

    "I always thought this Bore was a whiny prick. I've only managed to see a few minutes of this guy's videos and then I watch this one, because it looks like he's trying to redeem himself. But nope -- industrial strength whine fest, yet again! You fucking suck."

    Guess how Boring Man responds?

    "How can you sum up my videos from only 2 minutes? Sorry your such a hypocrite"

    Hypocrisy never stops with Boring Man, doesn't it?

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    Replies
    1. Wait a minute: "Sorry YOUR such a hypocrite"?

      Great! Good to see that Crisbo's English is just as sterling as ever!
      -_-

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    2. I really hope that karma will come to fuck him in the ass very very soon.

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  14. Anyone else watch this video and immediately think IG?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4PnboqFwiI

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    1. I know you or someone else has already posted the link to this video on the blog before, but the video is still hilarious. Also, this video does not remind me of Bores, because he is 10 times worse than even this.

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  15. Monday's video is up...it's a loot crate video...tl;dw

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    1. Ah, belatedly jumping on yet ANOTHER bandwagon.

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    2. OK I'll be honest I've never heard of loot crate till this comment. But after a quick search online all I'm wondering is if this is a review or not. If it's not a review why bother with a video just upload something quick on his website/blog, why even...oh right views equals money how silly of me.

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    3. If it's a review, it's one of the more inept reviews he's ever posted. He's gotten two crates and "was disappointed" with the first one, but neglects to tell us why. An actual review might warn us about the dangers of signing up for such a thing.

      No, the text below the video tells us it's a "box opening" video. I guess that resembles a new-product "unboxing" video, except he's already opened the box and is showing us the aftermath.

      The text also warns us that the video is "not for the faint of heart" for some reason, and closes with the baffling non-sentence "Terrifying, scary, and handlebar mustaches ensue!"

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    4. I have to be honest, it was the first video he did in a long time where I actually laughed.

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    5. People in the comments section are glad that Bores is being more honest about the loot crates than other YouTubers. Chris Bores? Honest? XDXDXDXD

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  16. Today I passed up Xenoblade Chronicles 3D for Mortal Kombat X.

    I was fairly excited to play Xenoblade Chronicles, especially since they are porting it to the 3DS. I thought this would be a great opportunity to experience it after missing out on the Wii version. However, I looked into how the game functions and immediately decided against getting it.

    I heard that it had an automated combat system, which by staggering coincidence is the very reason why Final Fantasy XII is my most hated game, and when Wikipedia said the two were similar that just sealed the deal for me. So I decided to get Mortal Kombat instead.

    I know there's a bit of hatred toward that game due to its microtransactions, but you know what? At least the core gameplay won't fill me with rage. Yeah microtransactions are disgusting, and the way Mortal Kombat X handles it is especially horrible, but at least I won't have to play something similar to the one game I hate the most.

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    1. Really XII is your most hated that's pretty ironic because it's one of favorite. Speaking of Final Fantasy people will hate me for this but I think IV is the worst in the main series. I actually wanted both Xenoblade Chronicles and Mortal Kombat X but can't get either for the same reason, I lack the systems for them. I had no idea Xenoblade was only on the New 3DS so I got really disappointed on the day it came out, and as for Mortal Kombat X I have neither a PS4 or XBone and to wait till summer to get, thanks alot...who ever made that decision. Speaking of the microtransactions in Mortal Kombat X is it true it's harder to get Koins than other games in the series, most likely because of said microtransactions?

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    2. All I know is that you can pay real money to get fatalities, which I think is pointless when you can simply look it up online. It's kinda sad because 9 handled the unlockables so much better, and is the only game I willingly paid DLC for. I might do the same with X, just not with the Krypt.

      Oh, and X is also for PS3 and Xbox 360. Not sure if they're out yet and they're being ported by a different company, but I thought that might help you.

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    3. It's being ported by High Voltage, the same people that completely botched the PC Port.
      Probably best to avoid the last-gen versions.

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    4. Oh. Ohhhhh. Glad I got the next-gen version then.

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    5. @BatDanNight

      Shame that occurred. I was actually thinking of trying to get a job with them once I started going back to school.

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    6. I made my own video regarding the Mortal Kombat X delay to last gen right here.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XIqkymSjv8

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    7. Also, BatDan, since then, High Voltage has also ported Injustice to PC. With their experience with MK9 and Injustice, combined with the fact that last gen consoles don't use keyboards, I still have hope that the last gen ports will be decent. It's just not worth it to buy a $400 console when it's the only game I'll play.

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    8. Eh, PC Injustice had that horribly slow-mo bug for ages.

      Delete
  17. Here's the list one more time, guys. Assuming the current schedule, Friday's post will be the last place it will appear, so you'll have between now and the post following that one to contribute.

    Archfiend
    Asalieri
    BigAl2k6
    Mr. Weenie
    Save-State Gamer
    VlogRays
    No Date Gamers
    One176 a.k.a. Black Face Kermit
    Blown-a-Gasket Gamer
    Gaming Goose
    blee427 a.k.a. The Game Anthropologist

    On a side note, I bought my very first Amiibo today. Anyone wanna guess what it is?

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    Replies
    1. Hm, I'll go with one of the "safe" options. Luigi.

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    2. I've had my eye on him for a while . He'll still count for leading with the "big 4" along with Mario, Samus, and Pikachu for me. Then I'll hunt for the rarities (with priority towards Sonic and Lucario for me).

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    3. I just read that apparently Diddy Kong is starting to become scarce, which is odd considering the fact that the store I went to had four of them in stock. I also noticed that Samus is on more or less the same path, but I just saw it (an American version) listed on Play-Asia for $22.99.

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    4. ...And speaking of Samus Amiibos:

      http://i.imgur.com/7TQIme4.jpg

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    5. You can add BlueLuigi to that list.

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    6. Of IG asskissers, right? :D

      BTW, $23 for an Amiibo?! Geez, that's a lot.

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    7. I'm guessing you haven't encountered any scalpers then.

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    8. Just finished today's Amiibo hunt. Got Sonic and Kirby.

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  18. Anyone see Doug Walker's review of Unfriended? I was so hoping he would review it. I'm glad he gave it a positive review.

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  19. The title of Bores' newest video is "LootCrate Handle Bar Mustaches Ensue! WTF". I think the title speaks for itself.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, like what the fuck is he doing with his life?

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  20. I really fucking hate the part i the loot crate video when Bores calls the model in the picture "creepy" in a high-pitched voice. You're one to fucking judge people, Bores, especially based solely on appearances.

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  21. Just because Bores acknowledged that Dr. Who and Game of Thrones exist, I think even his own fans would doubt that he is a fan of either one.

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  22. When Bores said "save this for the kids," now everyone in the comments section is thinking that he's talking about his own and not his (ex) girlfriend's. Or he could have just been trying to score undeserved sympathy points again like he tried to with the dead friend on last week's video.

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    1. I saw ads for this and figured it was probably just junk. Since then I've heard it varies month-to-month. Anyone here actually subscribe?

      The closest thing I've consider subscribing to is indiebox.

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  23. Wednesday video's up. It's fucking bloopers.

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  24. Wednesday video's up...it's a shitty blooper reel. His "bloopers" are just as forced as his acting in the actual videos.

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    1. You know at this point it seems like he doesn't actually want to make videos in general. Really I think the only reason he forces himself to do 3 videos a week isn't for money but because he wants to one up people who only make 1 video a week.

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  25. eToro is the #1 forex broker for new and professional traders.

    ReplyDelete