So, you guys enjoy E3?
Fallout 4 looks pretty damn good! MS has yet to convince me to get an Xbox One, they could have shown Scalebound but nooooooo. EA was… EA. But I did like Unravel. New South Park game! The Sony triple bomb of The Last Guardian, Final Fantasy VII remake, and Shenmue III Kickstarter goes without saying! Horizon: Zero Dawn looks amazing! As does Uncharted 4! New Star Fox co-developed by Platinum! New Mario & Luigi crossing over with Paper Mario! Super Mario Maker looks so much better than they showed before. Kingdom Hearts III footage! Transformers game by Platinum! As well as some other stuff that I can‘t think of right now.
Soooo I’d expect Bores to ruin all this by showing up right?
On Wednesday he posted a News video about, what fucking else, amiibo and Skylanders. This is likely about Nintendo and Activision collaborating and getting two exclusive Skylanders into the Wii U and 3DS versions of Skylanders SuperChargers. Donkey Kong and Bowser. They also double as amiibo for those that don’t have one of the billions of Bowsers out there (seriously Ninty, stock the others!)
It says a lot about Bores that his first major video about E3 is about the fucking toys. Then again, I doubt he knows what Shenmue is, or Team ICO, or even care enough about Final Fantasy to understand why the VII remake is a huge deal, or care about Star Fox.
“But, shouldn’t he be at the show”
I opened the video, and he’s at home. Surprisingly, Bores didn’t attend this year. Is GotGame finally severing ties? Have they realized that his E3 coverage is always ALWAYS garbage and decided not to bother? Seems things are finally looking up. Hell, IG’s site hasn’t updated since May 29th.
What’s in the video?
He actually gives an excuse for not going. “Business things he can’t talk about”. Riiiiiiiight.
Blah blah blah, more about the stock issues.
“People want what they can’t have” Like how you want James Rolfe’s audience.
“So much new stuff” Almost all of it announced on Sunday. Seriously where were you?
He brings up Super Mario Maker (without saying the name) and claims it’s “heavily influenced by amiibo”. Noooo, the upcoming Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is “heavily influenced”, by which the entire game revolves around it. amiibo usage in Super Mario Maker is just an added bonus. Hell, it’s been confirmed you don’t even need amiibo to get the extra skins. You can unlock them through playing it.
He brings up the large 8-Bit Mario. “I’m not entirely sure what this will do in-game” WHAT? They revealed this! It makes Mario grow giant size! Did you not watch the Digital Event, or any conferences or coverage at all?! … Actually, I shouldn’t be surprised he was lazy about that. Still, more lack of research.
Except it appears he DID watch the event as he brings up that using other amiibo will let you play as that character, and specifically mentions the Wii Fit Trainer like they did. So did you just completely miss 8-bit Mario’s usage?
“Animal Crossing isn’t as big as Super Smash Bros” WOW you are so ignorant. Animal Crossing is fucking huge. It’s one of Nintendo’s biggest franchises. That’s why so many people got angry that the Wii U game is a Mario Party clone instead of a full-fledged life simulator (let’s be honest people, they’re probably not going to make anymore for consoles since the handheld iterations sell waaaaaay more)
Gets to the exclusive Skylanders.
“These will only work with the Wii U” AND THE 3DS! Why does he keep forgetting the 3DS exists? Like when he looked at Mario Kart 8 and said it was the “first new one in years”, implying he didn’t know Mario Kart 7 existed.
Wait, there’s a Wii version of SuperChargers coming? That’s just bizarre.
Rest of the video I don’t care… This is mindless and if I wanted to hear about amiibo I’d go to better places.
We come to Friday, and it’s his Top 5 “Coolest Games and Announcements”. That was fast. Yet another bright side to not going to E3, he won’t be spamming videos for a month pretending it’s actual content. At least he’s timely with the Top 5.
Let’s see what stupid things he picks this time.
Number Five: Super Mario Maker
Though he never refers to it by name. Rather he describes it. “The 30th anniversary edition where you make levels” Chris, how hard is it just to say “Super Mario Maker”? Did you get rejected by Maker Studios and are unable to even say the word “Maker”?
Number Four: Nintendo Skylanders in the next game.
Of fucking course it was… You know why nobody will take you seriously Bores? Because nobody is going to fucking put the Donkey Kong and Bowser Skylanders on their “Best of E3” lists. It’s not even dumb enough to be on “Worst of E3”.
He thinks this is a “great step” because all amiibo did before was “unlock skins and hats”. Except they were trainable AI in Smash Bros, all new boards in Mario Party 10, challenges in Splatoon, a new weapon for Link in Hyrule Warriors, power-ups for Kirby in Rainbow Curse, playable Fire Emblem characters in Codename STEAM, it’s not just “hats and skins”. Do your fucking research.
Number Three: Cuphead
Ha! You’re never going to play this. You don’t have an Xbox One, and you keep claiming you don’t play PC games. Sure, he could get an Xbox One, but I like to think Bores isn’t THAT dumb to spend $300+ on a console just for one game. If you think GotGame will provide, keep in mind, it’s been almost two years since PS4 and Xbox One came out, and Bores has neither. If he wants those consoles, he’ll have to pay out of pocket.
He then complains that he heard the game is hard. That’s a GOOD THING Chris. Oh right, I forgot who I was talking to. Continue being a casual fool.
Number Two: South Park: The Fractured But Whole
“I loved the last one” All one hour you played of it. I doubt that he actually kept playing once the camera turned off.
Number One: Final Fantasy VII remake
Oh… I guess he does care. But I still doubt he knows the significance of The Last Guardian or Shenmue III.
“The trailer looked fantastic” Don’t trust CG trailers. Game likely won’t come out until minimally 2017 and very likely won’t look like that.
“Good move on Squaresoft’s part” It’s Square Enix. It’s been Square Enix for 12 years. Keep up!
Well… at least there wasn’t anything immensely stupid on the list. Nintendo Skylanders was just kind of stupid, but expected. At least there wasn’t Garden Warfare 2 or that Minions mobile game, or Ghost Recon Wildlands (they’re turning it into the AAA Ubi game! It’s being melded into the gray sludge of AssCreed, Far Cry and Watch_Dogs! Radio towers! Radio towers!)
I hope you guys enjoyed E3. I really hope you didn’t sign that petition to cancel Metroid Prime Federation Forces. It’s futile to try to get it cancelled.