Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Book Adaptations are a Poor Substitute for the Actual Game

Seems there was a video posted yesterday, on a Monday. Bores should change his banner to "New Videos whenever the fuck I feel like it you little shits".

He's finally reviewing an Assassin's Creed game! Oh wait, false alarm, he's actually reviewing an Assassin's Creed art book. Bores, this is just sad now. You can't just rely on books to keep up with the latest games, you need a PS4 and Xbone. It's been two years, it's clear that GotGame cut you off (yet they still consider him an employee as he's listed under "contributors"), you have to go out and get it yourself. Look, we're coming up to Black Friday. Instead of waiting in line for some stupid Skylanders, maybe you should look into getting a $300 console bundle.

There's also a second Arkham Knight book he "reviewed" on his site, but it's barely a review, it's more like a preview. It includes great lines like "I’ve always enjoyed the Riddlers as a batman villain and this story line does the “riddle me this” villain justice." and "The book starts off kind of slow to the point where I start worrying if the puzzles would be too complicated to understand in book form."

 Anyway, the video itself.

"HAPPY THANKSGIVING GUYS" Whoa, what's with the echo? Did Bores forget to check his microphone and sound settings? Usually he's better about that...
 "It's review week at the Irate Gamer channel" ... Isn't every week supposed to be review week? What does that mean? 
The echo disappears when the camera focuses on the inside. It's another video where he proceeds to the show the entire book, say certain pages are cool, and spoil it for anyone that was possibly interested in it. 
He shows some dynamite, and comments "This isn't Minecraft" and chuckles to himself. ... You're an idiot.
"I'm still working my way through Assassin's Creed III" I don't believe you.
"An interesting Christmas present for the gamer" Pretty sure they would prefer actual games, not art books.
He gushes in awe how games have advanced since Donkey Kong, then he plugs his review of it. You have no shame at all do you?
At one point, he mispronounces Thames. Here's a video on how to pronounce it correctly. Watch it Bores.
What is even the point of these art book videos? All he does is say "these look cool". Who is the audience for this? Oh wait I know, Chris himself because he's a self-indulgent narcissist.

That was pointless.

In Ghost Hunting 2.0 news, a few days ago the book was free for Kindle users for a brief time. Bores decided to take advantage of this by SPAMMING THE FUCK OUT OF TWITTER!










Holy shit Chris! The desperation is real!

It's clear that the book isn't selling despite what he claims. Someone doing well wouldn't resort to spamming various authors telling them it's free.
His targets don't even make sense either. All the tweets about the "real love story" are directed to romance authors. Why they fuck do you think a romance author would be interested in your egotistical wank of a biography? Do you even know what you're doing?

88 comments:

  1. It'd be great if all the people he's spamming on twitter would give his book a well-deserved one-star review.

    ReplyDelete
  2. seanmyster6 on YouTube made up some perfect lyrics for IG's theme song:

    Irate Gamer's
    So much lamer
    Than The Angry
    Video Game Nerd
    He's a dummy
    He's not funny
    He's just in it
    For the money

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  3. I at least have being a college student and maintaining a new car (it's used, but it's new to me anyway) as reasonable excuses for not going out and getting a PS4 or Xbox One (plus, I already bought the Wii U just this year). Bores is a grown man out of college (assuming he even graduated from college at all) and is a YouTuber "who had the 55th most subscribed channel at one point." What's his excuse?

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  4. The "love story" is the same scenario in Pursuit of the Paranormal. It'seems the ghost hunt at the St. Augustine lighthouse. Bores claims the spirit of a 15 year old girl, Eliza Pity, has romantic feelings for one of the young tour guides at the lighthouse. This was ascertained by Chris asking the spirit if the guide was her boyfriend and a K2 meter allegedly lighting up. (My research shows that the term 'boyfriend' wasn't used in a romantic sense until the early 20th century and it is unlikely a girl who died in the 1800s would use this term but that is another story.)

    The point is, this alleged 90 minute conversation with the dead is no love story. Readers looking for love stories and who follow romance authors on Twitter would be incredibly unsatisfied with Ghost Hunting 2.0.

    I am guessing Bores doesn't care if he is marketing his book to the wrong demographic; he is just desperate to avoid being at the bottom of the rankings.

    FYI- the Kindle version is still free and has been for days. Even giving the book away earned him a rank of 3,428 on the free best sellers list. However, Chris likes those overly narrow superlatives so let's check his category:

    Physical book: #738 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult & Paranormal > Supernatural

    Kindle version: #2 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult & Paranormal > Supernatural

    Obvious that sales have plummeted on the physical version. Expect Chris to highlight that #2 on the Kindle version and mention that ranking in a later video.

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    Replies
    1. Chris Bores had the 55th most subscribed channel on all of YouTube at one time. His book was a #2 best seller onAmazon.com. Bores developed a new branch of psychology while studying at the university and he also developed the Bores Spirit Classification system.

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    2. Its cool that Amazon lists Occult/paranormal books under "religion & spirituality". I think Jesus, God, Allah, Buddah, Vishnu et al etc etc are just as imaginary as ghosts.

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  5. Today, the Nostalgia Critic reviewed both Dragon' s Lair games with special guest and animating legend Don Bluth. He also helped to promote the Dragon's Lair movie Indiegogo campaign which ends on December 1st. In fact, that makes me think, what would Bores think (or at least, what would he say he thinks) about this crowdfunding campaign as well as the ones for Yooka-Laylee and Bloodstained? Would he say that he promotes projects like these, or would he continue his "Kickstarter is the Devil" message? I guess what I'm basically asking is, would Bores be more likely to admit that he was wrong about something (that thing being crowdfunding) or to continue bashing crowdfunding and looking like the hypocritical swine that he is?

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, when you look at Joel and how quickly the Bring Back MST3K one is gaining steam; Boring Man loses another argument against it. Sure enough, Joel cited the Veronica Mars movie as an example. Mighty No.9 also helped get off the ground thanks to crowdfunding and Keiji Inafune's efforts as well; if I remember.

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    2. Crowdfunding could go a lot of ways. I’ve supported a few projects, but typically I’m skeptical about anyone asking for money before doing work, or at least proving they’re able to make something worthwhile.
      So far, the worst thing I’ve supported was the AVGN movie, but it’s not that big of a deal.
      Nowadays I need to invest in my own projects, so I don’t donate like I used to.
      I think the first kickstarter I ever donated to was River City Ransom Underground, and that’s the only one that still hasn’t been released.
      •_•

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    3. I'm not saying crowdfunding isn't ALL good, I'm just wondering if Bores would ever admit that he was wrong about crowdfunding being all bad.

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    4. Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but I'm not sure he's actually contradicted himself in any way. I mean, yeah, we know some awesome stuff has/is being supported by crowdfunding, but has Bores praised any of those works?
      If, for example, Bores were to talk about how great the Dragon's Lair movie is without acknowledging it is a positive example of a crowdfunded project, then he'd actually have something to admit to.
      I don't think he would, though. Fact is, the "e-begging spoof" wasn't anti-crowdfunding, it was anti-AVGN.
      I'm actually surprised that Bores hasn't tried crowdfunding.

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    5. Well, there was that one time where he "reviewed" a shitty board game that had a Kickstarter.

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    6. Is it just me or does the NC theme song sound like a variation of "I can't fight this feeling anymore"?

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    7. NC's theme, "The Review Must Go On" was first used at the very end of his Moulin Rouge review as a parody musical number to parallel the musical number in the film.

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  6. another new video...more tech reviews

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    Replies
    1. Well, he knows how to review a camera drone for a web video. Show us everything that comes in the box, show us footage of the drone in flight taken with a stationary camera, aaaand that's all you can possibly do, right? Hell, it's all anyone could ever need to do, so A+ on the drone review!

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    2. HAHAHAHAH HE forgot to plug in the record player, and it was on the wrong speed durp way to show the quality of the product. I also hated how he handled that record player.

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    3. I don't think it was on the wrong speed; the Smurfs (at least on those make-a-quick-buck records) have high voices like the Chipmunks. I read his idea of a joke as being that he hates the Smurfs record at proper speed, so he threw it away.

      The record player review was actually particularly terrible all around; he was trying to make it multiple things, none of which matched up well. First he talks about the player, then he tells us with self-congratulatory laughter that he's going to test it with the Smurfs record, then he takes forever to do that, then he decides the record is bad and throws it away, then he talks about whether the thing he's reviewing is any good.

      But at any rate, I will pay top dollar for one of these record players because as Bores points out, there's "a feature where you can turn it off and on." I just wish my late, mechanically-inclined father was alive to see humanity reach this milestone that was in his time considered an idle daydream from the fevered imaginations of science fiction's most audacious visionaries.

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    4. "There's a feature where you can turn it off or on."

      Well, gosh darn! They sure are makin' some fancy stuff these days!

      Yeah, he was playing that record at the wrong speed. The Smurfs' voices weren't that high.

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    5. Someone who grew up with the Smurfs, back me up. Were there Smurf records with the proper Hanna-Barbera cast- Paul Winchell as Papa Smurf and so on- and/or were Smurf records fly-by-night affairs? I'm old, but I remember commercials where the Chipmunks concept was repurposed to sell Smurf records.

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    6. Okay, I looked up that album on YouTube. The Smurfs really do sing in such high pitched voices. I don't recall their voices being quite so annoying but the evidence is there. I was wrong on this one and withdraw the charge.

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    7. I'd like to see Bores pilot a real helicopter. It'd have to be miles away from civilization.

      Delete
  7. Ugh, after that abysmal Castlevania review (just did the drinking game again with some Mountain Dew, met the conditions at 1:40 into almost 12 minutes of Family Guy bullshit); I can't say I'm surprised. So, this combines my top 2 worst moments of the year into one; both BookGate and being unable to stick to a schedule HE set for HIMSELF. Anyway, my brother might be getting an Xbox One for Christmas, and I plan on getting a Wii U. I might get a PS4 after that, depending on when there's a release date set for The Last Guardian (usually, I wait to buy a new console until there's at least 5 games I'm interested in on it). One last thing: I'm going on vacation for Thanksgiving weekend, so I probably won't be online too much then. If Boring Man looks at Metroid (which wouldn't surprise me with all the NES games that played a part in Captain N he's looked at this year); I probably won't find out till I come back. Now, back to homework and Super Mystery Dungeon.

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  8. In the Assassins' Creed Syndicate Book video, play a drinking game. Take a shot every time Bores says 'er' and 'um'.

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  9. So, it seems the new Fantastic Four sequel is officially cancelled. Guess even Fox saw the writing on the wall after that bomb. I personally don't think we'll see a reboot under Marvel's own banner until Phase 4 at the earliest; but I don't think the rights are going to be with Fox much longer. Least we got a pretty funny Honest Trailer out of it.

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    Replies
    1. I haven't heard cancelled, but it's been taken out of the production schedule.

      Delete
  10. So.....how much you guys willing to bet that Bores will claim that some hacker got into his account and spammed Twitter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And when we prove his claim wrong, he'll run crying to mommy Crazybuggin (let's call her that from now) to save his ass?

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    2. I'll call her Chris, because that's who she is.

      Delete
  11. I'm still amazed that Bores thinks the Wii U is the newest console everyone owns... when far more people own either a PS4, Xbox One, or even both.

    Anyway, spamming a Twitter page because you're desperate for sales? Real fucking classy, Bores.

    BTW, on a happier note, had a birthday yesterday! Got me the first two Midway Arcade Treasures games, Midnight Club 2, F1 2015, Project Cars, and some sunglasses.

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  12. I don't give two shits about the Dead or Alive Xtreme series, but this still legitimately makes me angry:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFvVOg0Y6eA

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    Replies
    1. Me neither, but this just brings us to another problem with not just gaming, but the media in general: people are way too damn soft these days.
      -_-

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  13. Anyone watch Pat the NES Punk's promo vid for his new NES book?

    It just shows how isolated and desperate Bores is.

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  14. BatDan, you have a lot of material to work with this year for your top ten moments of 2015.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should we put in a vote at the end of the year?
      ^-^

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    2. Have you not seen BatDan saying how he doesn't want us to keep asking about the end of the year list?

      Delete
    3. Let's just let BatDan do his own year end list and we can post ours in the comments.

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    4. Here's the thing about BatDan's worst moments list: It's his list, and he decides what goes on it. Also, just remember the year isn't over and for every new video, there's always a potential new entry for the list.

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  15. I forgot that today you guys are celebrating your Thanksgiving! Anyways, enjoy your Thanksgiving, everyone!
    ^-^

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  16. Ok.. Do correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't art books, um, a not-so-reliable reference to the lore/story of a franchise? Usually, I would see them as art with some backstory behind, with more emphasis on the former aspect.

    And well, the Twitter posts are getting out of hand. Are every single book publishers going to receive his tweet? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and one of the 5-star reviews on Amazon:

      "I like ghost books! I like ghost books!" -Cousin Joey

      I'm not kidding.

      On another side note, the most helpful reviews are all 1-stars.

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    2. He's still desperate and he still refuses to learn. No wonder his fanbase is dwindling.
      -_-

      Delete
  17. It's official. Bores is more delusional than Amy and Samy Bouzaglo combined...

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    Replies
    1. I agree. Especially since Bores attacks James Rolfe the same way Amy attacks Gordon Ramsay.

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    2. Or the same way Barack Obama attacks any proud American citizen.

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    3. Niall, can you please try to go ONE FUCKING THREAD without bashing the president, especially when replying to a poster that didn't even mention anything REMOTELY political?????

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    4. It's simply an observation. Comparing the way Chris acts to the way Obama acts is really no different than comparing the way Chris acts to how Amy and Samy from Kitchen Nightmares act. I take it you're a major supporter of Obama, hence your reaction. Okay, cool. To each his own. I'm personally counting down the days till he leaves office. Maybe he'll make a guest appearance on the Irate Gamer show when that happens.

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    5. I'm not even American, but your CONSTANT mentions of "haha chris did this thing, just like obama right guys" is getting really annoying. Please just stop.

      Delete
  18. Hey BatDan I just riffed Bores LP of Ducktales http://ephromjos.blogspot.com/2015/11/a-ephromjos-lp-riff-how-to-lp-without.html

    ReplyDelete
  19. new video...Irate Black Friday

    https://youtu.be/JaviDS1M4ak


    so sad

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    Replies
    1. Buy a nonfiction ghost hunting book, and get collections of video game-related comedy skits. The only element these things have in common is the creator, so this offer is perfect for... Chris Bores fans. Wonder how this will play out.

      Delete
    2. lol, that's what I said too. It baffles my mind that he thinks that his audiences cross..although this is the same Chris Bores who'll review anything free sent to him too...so I shouldn't be surprised.

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    3. Well you can technically get Pursuit of the Paranormal with that...but you still get one Irate Gamer DVD.

      So yeah.

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    4. Chris, that isn't so much a Black Friday sale as it is a clearance sale. Your book still isn't selling as well as you hoped, you have a bit of old Irate Gamer crap that people don't want even though you tried to offload some of it during your 5 year anniversary sale that was several months after the actual date. The fact that you are requiring Irate Gamer Volume 1 to be on of the free DVDs is very telling. How many of those did you make, anyways?

      The fact you have to find cheap Chinese tech crap to "review" is proof your finances are tight. There is no shame in that- most people in this country are still hurting financially. However, you have an entire shelf full of video games against that wall you could review. If you're willing to put in the effort for a well researched and informative video, that is.

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    5. The thing is though that Chris Bores is a one-trick-pony. While most people that lost their jobs got new ones. Chris was only able to get a job through the negative publicity of plagiarizing AVGN/James Rolfe in general. Now that the attention has died down he has nothing left to offer.

      Delete
    6. @Chico Edge

      crouches in corner and blocks ears

      Chris: Lalalalalal! I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!

      Delete
    7. "I got a great Black Friday deal for the fans"

      What fans? The ones who are watching your videos only care about video games, not your dumb book or any paranormal stuff.

      Delete
  20. This has been brought to my attention, BatDan:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Sleepycabin/comments/3uhico/are_we_going_to_ignore_the_fact_that_there_may/

    What do you think about this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An web animator and a friend (or at least a former friend) of Egoraptor.

      Delete
    2. Zach has to be fucking with Chris in this picture. He just has to be. My guess is that he was joking about collaborating with Chris. But when Chris was actually foolish and gullible enough to believe this and respond, Zach began to fuck with him and go along with his own joke.

      Delete
    3. Btw, I said that psychicpebbles is at least a former friend of Egoraptor because from what I've heard from other people, either all or some of the members of SleepyCabin aren't too fond of Arin nowadays. Not me trying to hate on Egoraptor, just something I heard. I'm just saying that I don't know for certain about the current status of Arin and Zach's current interaction and thoughts about one another at this point in time.

      Delete
    4. Hi it's me, Game Flame from YouTube,

      At least Stamper, Zach, Corey and Chris are all still befriended with him.

      Delete
  21. The IHE/Cool Cat saga seems to have ended in a rather entertaining fashion:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzXSQ5f08sA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw. While YouTube is more to blame for allowing this shit to happen in the first place, Derek Savage is still a hypocritical, immature douche bag who can't take any form of criticism (say, sounds like someone we all know). My advice to Derek, if you don't want people talking shit about you, don't release a movie that has you married to a cat.

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    2. What's your opinion on the Cool Cat books?

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    3. Haven't read them, but after Derek Savage made himself look like such a delusional baby, I wouldn't pay that fuckhead a single cent just to see his books.

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  22. he also did another vid which i dont think has been mentioned https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOu45vxozHs

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  23. Is it bad if I think the Irate Gamer is sometimes in the 'so bad it's good' category? I re-watched a few of his reviews, and I actually did laugh at times. Not at what was *supposed* to be funny, mind you, but I was laughing at his incompetence, his stupid-ass reactions, and generally how overly-serious he takes things. I laughed at his videos in the same way I laugh at Birdemic or The Room; They're just so stupid and so full of amateur errors, it actually becomes comical. They do say bad drama makes for good comedy, after all, especially with how Chris thinks he's doing serious stuff, and while his *actual* jokes are usually terrible, I think his incompetence can often be so bad it's funny. Is that bad?

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    Replies
    1. Eh, I wouldn't say that's bad. But what's bad is that Chris still seriously thinks that his shit is still gold when it's only in the so-bad-it's-good category at best. And I think it's fair to say that no matter what you think of his videos, Chris still fails as a human being.

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    2. @NeoAnderson Lines like "There's a feature where you can turn it off and on" are the whole reason I'm in this game.

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  24. LOL... Ghost Hunting 2.0 has a list price on Amazon.com of $169.99, on sale for $11.14 ($158.84, or 93% off). Why would he even list it that way? Does it help with ranking or promotion through Amazon somehow?

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    Replies
    1. I'd trust him to mistype $16.99 and never catch it.

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    2. I wouldn't wipe my ass with his book.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. http://imgur.com/gallery/0UAjXSw/new

    I decided I had to ask Irate Gamer if he is still partnered with GotGame, since the evidence that he has broken away from them is pretty strong.

    He said he has, but "he's been too busy to do anything with them in the past couple months."

    I call bullshit. Firstly, It's been much longer than "a couple of months". Secondly, he didn't get to go to E3 this year, and he STILL has no PS4 or Xbox One, things he would have if he was still partnered with GotGame. Finally, busy doing what, ghost hunting shit?

    But is it bullshit? We will have to wait and see.

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    Replies
    1. In other words he probably got fired.

      You don't tell people that you're too busy to "work" for your employer

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete