*stretches* Oh man, another long break is over. After three weeks of nothing, Chris Bores finally posted a new video.
An update video... over ten minutes long... oh joy.
Alright, let's hop on the bullshit train.
The description apologizes for the lack of videos, claims that he's been doing some "interesting" things (probably ghost garbage) and that a new review is soon. Then he says to "Been patient!" Did you mean "Be patient"? This is why you turn auto-correct off your phone Chris.
First thing mentioned is Ghost Hunting 2.0.
He claims he's been getting nice e-mails about it, probably from the people he paid to shill it on Amazon.
Then he mentions the Amazon accolades he got. Such as "#12 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult & Paranormal > Ghosts & Hauntings" Chris, I want you to look up what Overly Narrow Superlative means. All your accolades fall under that. It's not even the best-selling book in those fields either, it means nothing. Also, these only lasted a day. What a joke.
Also, I love how the Amazon picture he shows has the book at 4 stars, when all those fake reviews flooded in. Not suspect at all Chris.
Next thing mentioned is his appearance on Coast to Coast AM. Which if you recall, Bores called in a couple years ago to try and "debunk" the guest they had on with his own theories. Which he did by asking a question,then getting it answered, then Bores going on Facebook and lying, saying they hung up on him because they "couldn't handle the truth" or something.
Blah blah blah, he had a good time, whatever.
He then claims he got e-mails from the show's fans saying he piqued their interest. I seriously doubt any of this, are people this gullible? *checks Coast to Coast AM* Apparently it gets a cumulative weekly audience of 2.75 million listeners. So this is why people drink...
Then he mentions how he had to go to bed early, get up at 2:50, make some tea, WHO THE FUCK CARES CHRIS? See, this is the crap you should edit out.
Next thing is some "paranormal conference" he went to over the weekend. Ah yes, a gathering of idiots. Like the Gathering of the Juggalos with less fried food and nudity.
Mentions big names, including Grant Wilson from Ghost Hunters. ... I'll get to him.
Mentions that he hosted a lecture, with a pictures to show this. I can just imagine that tiny audience is a bunch of religious nutjobs that tune their radios to Rush Limbaugh everyday.
He claims they were engaged and that this was soooo interesting. God, the bullshit he spews.
He goes on about "stuff that's never been presented" and how special his research is and blah blah blah blah blah.
He says you can only understand his "methods" if you read the book. Well, people have read your book, and they call it crap. You're full of crap Chris.
Then he became "overwhelmed" as his table became surrounded with people that want to buy the book. ... Uh huh...
He shows a picture with... three people. You're not very good at this "evidence" thing are you Chris? Of course, the Opening Up video showed us that "evidence is for losers"
He "gushes" about how sooo many people bought his book, and he saw people walking around with it. Why don't I believe any of this?
"I'm always humble" PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck you Chris.
"I don't come across that way due to my Irate Gamer schtick" No, even out of character, you're never humble. You're an egotistical asshole that refuses to take criticism and you stay in your own little safe space refusing to accept reality. *twirls mustache*
He mentions how he had a chat with Grant Wilson, how Grant not only bought his book, but asked for an autograph. Chris, you do realize that Grant Wilson is a con artist right? A much better one than you are considering you're falling for his tricks. This (old) article points out that Wilson fabricated evidence on Ghost Hunters. Along with the fact that Ghost Hunters is fucking scripted.
That's why your "show" failed Chris, you actually tried to be "real", and it was boring as fuck.
I guess hacks attract hacks.
I just realized, the ghost hunting community is just one big circlejerk. It's all the same people patting each other on the back over something that isn't even fucking real. It's one big pile of idiots, with the charismatic ones cashing in on the idiots.
He also shows a low quality video Grant shot on his cell phone for his Perioscope account and he's in it. Hey "professional" ghost hunter, turn the phone on its side! Vertical video is a fucking plague.
Blah blah blah blah. "They welcomed me with open arms" You are lucky they did not Google you. In fact, let me see what happens when I Google "Chris Bores"
Result 1 is the IG Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Not a good first impression.
Result 2 is Chris' Twitter
Result 3 is the Opening Up video
Result 4 is my post debunking above video
Result 5 is the IG IMDB page, with show rating of 2.2/10 clearly displayed.
Result 6 is the IG Know Your Meme page
Result 7 is the AVGN Subreddit talking about the Opening Up video
Result 8 is the Pursuit of the Paranormal site
Result 9 is the Irate Gamer site.
You're lucky that they didn't look you up.
EDIT: Just received clarification that Google actually changes search results depending on your personal preferences. Other people can search Chris Bores and find completely different things. That being said, I can't imagine searching Chris Bores will net you much positive feedback.
"I threw some good jokes in there" Was it your laundry list of terrible R.O.B. puns? With explanations after everyone is told?
"I do feel this is the beginning of something interesting" If you want to be part of this stupid niche that most people consider a joke...
He says he was going to do another panel with some stupid show nobody's heard of but him, but it was cancelled due to lack of attendance. I expect Chris will hear that a lot...
"I'm on their radar" And if they look you up, expect to be off of it.
Next point is that Chris claims people have been asking when he'll go to their state to do a ghost lecture. Nobody has been asking that Chris, don't try and kid us.
No, his real point is that if you want Bores in your state, bug whatever paranormal conference is nearby.
"If you want the Irate Gamer to come to your state" Yes, if you want the Irate Gamer to show up and NOT talk about the Irate Gamer... How stupid are you Chris?
Also, he's begging people to tell these places to invite him. Just ask for money, you know you want to. But you also know that if you do, people call you a hypocrite (more so than usual) after your little spiel about e-Begging being terrible.
Oh and he even adds that you need to do the same for Comic Cons and "what-not". Chris, have you ever considered the reason you're not invited to these is that you have a notorious reputation that is beyond repair because you refuse to repair it? Chances are slim your remaining fanbase will do this, and if they do, there won't be enough voices to justify inviting you.
EDIT: I just got word from Linkara that this is something that's common for multiple video producers. That if fans want them at a convention, the fans themselves have to ask and beg the convention. Though my second point still stands, does Chris still have enough of a fanbase to raise demand for him?
Anyway, video ends with him saying that he's working on the new IG review. Proving that his "I'm considering retirement" announcement was a pathetic plea for attention.
"I'm back on the pole" ... That's not an expression. What pole? Don't answer that.
Oh no, more "tech reviews". Can't wait for more shit from Chinese companies that people want him to shill.
Nothing more than to wait... but some interesting things to bring up.
I decided to check out the Lost Media Wiki after some time has passed, hopefully to find some new interesting lost artifacts. Scrolled down and I saw a page for The Irate Gamer Game. Makes sense to include that since it is "lost" now. You might be asking "why would anyone want this recovered"? Well the site just archives stuff that's lost, no matter how horrid. That includes death videos like Steve Irwin, Christine Chubbuck, Owen Hart, and Timothy Treadwell.
They might have to update again as IG has taken down some videos.
Last week, Bores posted the contents of the October Loot Crate on his site. I thought it was odd he didn't make a video, but then I checked his channel and saw the video from back in April was gone. Yeah, go check yourselves, it came before the Punch-Out "review". No clue why...
The blooper video that came out after is gone too. Probably to try and get people to buy the DVD.
According to Andrew Schroy, Chris' tribute to Leonard Nimoy is gone too. Checking myself, it is. Probably trying to hide his awful behavior of profiting off his death and telling people to subscribe. While I may not have the video, I do have a screenshot showing the ads on it, and the fact it existed.
That's all for now everyone.