Thursday, November 19, 2015

What is a Bores? A Miserable Little Pile of Terrible Videos

It’s Thursday and there’s a new video up. Why did Chris even bother with the schedule anyway?
It’s another regular IG review, and the title tells me it’s going to HURT.
He’s going to look at Castlevania! *breathes deeply* Trying to hold in all the f-bombs.
You guys in the comments noted multiple times that Chris is likely doing a theme with these recent reviews, featuring games that were prominent in Captain N. I’ve gone over my Captain N theory multiple times, but you guys might be on to something. His “comeback” has seen videos about Kid Icarus, Punch-Out, Mega Man, and Donkey Kong, all games that had significant appearances on Captain N. Possibly a coincidence, but considering my theory, it meshes together fairly well.

There was also his promise to review Castlevania aaaaallllll the way back in his “Top 5 NES Games” in….. *searches* 2008?! Holy hell Chris, you are just terrible at promises. I don’t see his promised Deadly Towers or Simpsons NES reviews happening (those are legit bad games, and we can’t have that for some asinine reason).
How bad could this possib- 11:48 LONG?! Oooooh noooooo. *breathes deeply* I can do this.

Let’s look at the description.
“This time taking a look at the classic video game, Castlevania. This is the #1 fan requested video game for me to review!” Oh that is bullshit! No, the actual #1 game is probably something really bad. You know, what you’re supposed to be doing. Don’t fucking lie to us and claim THIS is the game people wanted to see. I still remember when you did Neo reviews on a “consistent” basis and people were demanding Minecraft and Call of Duty, but you didn’t deliver and instead gave us the 3-in-1, which you claim were all fan requests (I severely doubt they requested Brutal Legend and Tekken 6). Why do you think you can keep getting away with lies Chris?
“Now its here. Contains some classic homages to Scooby Doo.” I remember when my informant showed me a Facebook post where he mentioned a Scooby Doo montage. I knew even before the game was revealed that this was going to hurt.
“Let's montage this b****!” Ugggh… Also, you can say “bitch” uncensored. It can be used in PG rated movies without any trouble. I can understand censoring “fuck”, but this just feels like you’re trying to appeal to overly-protective parents. Doesn’t make sense when you curse uncensored in the videos.

For some reason he reuses the weird “Parapper the Rapper free since 2007” joke he used in the last video description. Either that’s a new catchphrase (I don’t get it) or he was so lazy that he just copy pasted it and only changed a few things.

*takes a swig of vampire blood* I’m ready.

0:00 - 0:49: We open outside Dracula’s castle as seen in the game. Then we see IG and Ronnie running in and SON OF A BITCH! This is just that “NES Sprite Fun” video he made back in April. It’s exact! I knew Chris was lazy before but damn! The only change is the ending with IG screaming “Damn you Castlevania!”

*intro here*

1:06 - 1:42: Video begins, calls it “iconic”, mentions killing vampires plural (again, Dracula is the only vampire in the first game, unless you stretch it and say all the bats are Vampire bats)
He brings up you can get a fully upgraded whip at the start, leading to a dumb joke involving “Cool Whip” (barely starting and we’re already knee deep in stupid). Then he mentions that dying will make you lose all these (No shit!)

Down to the normal whip, he then says he can’t even “Whip some Nae Nae”, leading to Simon Belmont singing “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)”. Holy fuck! Wow, talk about terrible pandering. Chris, you just turned what, 37? You’re way too old to be making these jokes, you come off like a grandparent. Hell, I’m only 25 and I feel I’m too old to be making those jokes. Not that I would, that song is terrible. I don’t think you know what the “Nae Nae” is considering how you used it. Only shows how out of touch you are.
Also, I sense a content ID hit on this video. Does Chris intend to include all the copyrighted material featured this “season” on a possible DVD? He probably thinks he’s invincible when Toei & Saban didn’t crack down on him for using Power Rangers footage.

1:43 - 2:58:  He calls the outside a “peaceful and quiet” place, which he tries to emphasize with some classical music. Don’t cover up “Vampire Killer”, it’s a good song.
Then calls the inside a “nightmarish hell” filled with ghouls, bats, skeletons, and a really fucking awful joke. This one being “Zombie Michael Jacksons” as represented by the original version of the Dancing Zombie from “Plants vs. Zombies”. It gets worse as IG follows with “Yeah, just say away from my wiener you” *massages temple* Where do I start? First off, not cool Chris. Second, Jackson wasn’t called gay, he was accused of being a pedophile. Simon is 22 years old in the first game, that’s way over the age of consent (then again, it was 1691 so the age could have been a lot different, but that’s besides the point). Third, is this seriously the lowbrow places you’ll go? It didn’t even make sense. This retarded Family Guy crap needs to stop Chris. Do you just want an audience of seal-clapping plebeians that believe references by themselves are jokes?

After that awfulness, IG lists off the sub weapons. Ending on the Dagger, and getting killed by a Medusa Head for trying to use one on it. That had to be faked, nobody would be dumb enough to try and use the Dagger on a Medusa Head.
He calls the Dagger stupid (and somehow ends up back on the first level even though he died on the second) and wants something worthwhile. He whips a candle and gets… the TARDIS. Enough with the random references.
Another dumb list joke where Simon goes through the hallway (he calls it a living room), the water area (he calls it the dock) and the “Castle’s mancave” with a big screen TV, a Legend of Zelda poster, and a Pac-Man ghost playing a Vampire Killer remix. Uggggggggh. This isn’t funny Chris. Why do you think this is funny? Where did you learn humor?

He reaches the Phantom Bat, and shows how to beat him using the Axe. Oh hey, he finally learned the correct way to beat him. Not that idiotic “sit in the corner and chuck Holy Water at him” method he used back in the Top 5 NES Games video. He probably looked it up…
He makes a comment wondering how much Simon can bench, there’s a weird jump cut during the boss fight (look at his hearts), then mentions how you get a “bauble” for defeating him (he means the Magic Crystal). Then it cuts to IG holding a bauble and wondering what it does. That you hang on a Christmas Tree, the Magic Crystal’s purpose is to restore Simon’s health. That’s it.

2:58 - 4:37: Shows the stage transition map, comments that there’s no bathroom, and that he hopes to find a monster shaped like a toilet. Hey “Linda”, remind me how Chris doesn’t use toilet humor?
Block 2, where most new players give up thanks to the Medusa Heads.
He brings how it’s actually “Stage 4” and that it changes when you go through a door. Claiming that even though there’s only 6 “levels”, there’s possibly … 2,559 stages. I know you’re attempting a joke, but it fails when even a 4th grader can realize that doesn’t make sense.
He brings up “new challenges” like the bats (those were in the first stage Chris), chasms (also in the first stage) and the Medusa Heads. Bringing up that they knock him back or into pits. Resulting in a quick montage of him getting killed with over-the-top reactions. This seems familiar…

Then he comes to the spiked pistons, which he says are from Contra. Well, they’re both from Konami. Also, Castlevania came out first so if anything, the spiked pistons are from this game, not Contra.
He gets killed by one, remembers the same thing in Contra, and hopes to find the “Spray Gun”, prompting a scene where Simon gets the Spread Gun “S” and fires a bunch of shots at Medusa Heads. Sorry, this isn’t Super Mario Crossover.

He reaches the Queen Medusa, or as he calls her the “Head Medusa Medusa Head”, with text to make sure we got that.
He uses the Watch to defeat her. Eh, Holy Water is more effective if you ask me.
Then he gets the Magic Crystal, and we cut to him holding two baubles. I am not looking forward to where this joke is going…

4:38 - 6:03: Onto Block 3. He claims this is where “Irate Gamers” are born. Stop trying to make your name an adjective, it’s weird.
He brings up the Hunchbacks (claiming they have ADHD, charming), then the Ravens as get another mini-montage (and yes, more reactions). He brings up some weird unreachable stairs, wonders if that was meant to be a secret, then reaches an area with a chasm to the left that he wonders if it holds a secret. It doesn’t. He smartly decides to move on… but then takes a dumbass drought and jumps right off, with terrible over-the-top reaction. Sad thing is, I could totally see DSP legitimately do that.
And he makes it worse when the Dancing Zombie does the Mortal Kombat “Toasty”. That doesn’t even make sense!

He compares a bridge to the one in Goonies II, again both are Konami, and Goonies II came out afterwards, then reaches the Mummy Men boss. Calls them the last easy boss as it’s “all downhill from here” which he demonstrates by falling through his chair into what I assume is a trap door. That’s not a hill Chris.
Then we see Simon taking the plunge from Block 3 to Block 4, with Bores overextending it because of course, and then we see IG falling as well because of that last bit. At least he’s halfway done with the game.

6:03 - 7:35: Block 4. IG falls into the water after Simon lands. That’s the payoff…
He progresses through the level, complains about the “swamp monsters” (he means the Fishmen), the low ceilings, the Skele-Dragons and finally reaches the boss, “Frankenstein”. I would point out how that’s wrong, but apparently Konami got that wrong too as he in the first game he’s referred to as Frankenstein. Later games call him The Creature.
He then gets pissed at Igor (but doesn’t refer to him as that) as he can take away a large chunk of health. “ONE-THIRD?!” he yells with that god damn music sting.
Another mini-montage, more over-the-top blah, and IG ends up reduced to tears. Ah, that must be Chris after seeing the views and ratings of his Skylanders flood.
This prompts… Devil Bores. Well, haven’t seen you in a while. What was the last appearance, the end of the “movie”? Let’s see what stupid shit you have now.
He’ll beat the boss for IG’s soul, with a “money back guarantee” (zzzzzz). Devil Bores tries to beat him, but fails multiple times. With a bunch of pointless bleeps where cursing should be. Does the footage seem off to anyone else? It feels like a quality shift… could just be my internet connection.

7:35 - 9:08: IG eventually beats him and moves onto Block 5. He says to bring “clean pants” as you’ll crap yourself over how much damage enemies do now. Once again “Linda”, explain.
“Four hits equals instant death” … Pretty sure “instant” means one hit. I know this is my second DSP comparison but “instant death” is something he says all the time, even when it’s not “instant”. What is it with scrubs having the same attitude?

He claims that beating this game is “ungodly impossible” so … montage. Or “Let’s montage this bitch” as he says. Also, he doesn’t censor “bitch”. What’s consistency?
And so we get a montage. Starting at 7:50.
At one point it cuts to IG, Ronnie, and Devil Bores “rocking out”. With the former two using Guitar Hero/Rock Band guitars and Devil Bores flailing sticks in the air with a drumset imposed in front of him. Urgh… I thought Chris could actually play guitar? There’s that old Amazon account where his avatar is him playing guitar on stage. Surely he could have gotten that out right?
A part where a bunch of bats try to swarm him but he swats them away.
A part where he reads from a GamePro book on how to win.
He manages to beat Death!
Of course he has to do the Scooby Doo doors. At least it’s quick and not as painful & tedious a Back to the Past.
Wait, he beat Death, but then the montage shows him getting killed in Block 5 before reaching him. What?! This is dumb.
Then we see IG shaking his “wooden” Simon Belmont cutout. Careful with that, you need to sell that on your website’s store soon.
Then a Medusa Head tries to attack. IG covers his eyes, holds up a mirror, and the Medusa Head turns into… the Stone Mario from Super Mario Bros 3. THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS! You seriously couldn’t just turn the Medusa Head gray?
Then IG, Ronnie, and Devil Bores peeking around a corner, more “rocking out”, more Scooby doors, and the montage FINALLY ends at 9:08. Who the fuck is approving of these stupid montages? Are his fans really that awful? That THIS is what they want to see? I mean, Bores himself said on Facebook “You’re going to love this montage”. Do his fans seriously consider that one of the best parts of his series?

9:09 - 10:03: He reaches Dracula. Tries to continue with the Scooby-Doo joke by saying “let’s unmask this final villain and see who you really are”. It’s Dracula, it’s more often than not Dracula. God damn it Bores…
“He doesn’t really look like I imagine he’d look like” 8-bit limitations Chris.
He then calls his second form “Werewoof Dracula”. Actually his proper name is the “Spirit of Dracula”.
Devil Bores comes back in and wants to try again. But IG beats Dracula by chucking Holy Water at him. Devil Bores claims he did it and demands his soul, but IG says that wasn’t the deal, and then sends the Frankenstein Monster at him. This is about as awkward as you think it is.

The video ends with IG beating the game, seeing the weird credits, checking IMDB to see if “Christopher Bee” did play Dracula (leaving this one alone), then remembers his “baubles” and puts all six of them together. Oh no, don’t make this a Dragon Ball thing, it would be inaccurate as there’s seven of those. Thankfully that’s not what happens. Instead they somehow summon Dracula (I don’t know…)
“Uh oh, think quick Gamer” … Wait, is your name actually meant to “Irate Gamer”? Like your actual given name? Even though other people have called you Chris? It just sounds weird. Especially when you refer to yourself as “Gamer”.
Anyway he defeats Dracula with… Cocoa Powder? Oh, it turns him into Count… Chocula… GOD THIS WAS STUPID!

I think we have a contender for worst IG episode of the year. I don’t know, there’s been a lot and I have to think it over. But this is definitely up there.
The jokes are worse than usual, who writes this shit? I mean, I know Bores does but where does he get these awful ideas? Are his step kids ghost-writing? It would explain the Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) joke. Who finds this funny? Considering my conversations with former fans, Chris’ audience mostly seems to be kids. Even though Bores goes out his way to purposely appeal to people his age with all the 80’s crap. I’m pretty sure people in their late 30’s wouldn’t find this funny, it’s just way too childish.
They also see how bad you are at the game, making it even harder to take you seriously. Yes, Castlevania is a hard game, but that doesn’t excuse dumb behavior.
What is the niche you’re trying to fill? You refuse to do bad games because “herp derp everyone else do dem”, but nobody wants to see some incompetent asshole cry about how hard classic games are. Who do you want to be your audience?

I wish I could get in touch with someone close to him… someone that knows his thought process, and why he does things this way. Something that would clear up a ton of questions.

121 comments:

  1. Ugh, Why Bores?
    WHY DID U HAVE TO BRING OUT YOUR CEREAL FETISH AGAIN!!!
    Also, man, this is so dumb
    I'm going to go listen to Daydreamin' to get me some good Scooby Doo Nostalgia

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    1. Yeah, that, or "Seven Days a Week," or even "It's Terror Time Again" from the Zombie Island movie. Then, I think I'll binge-watch Mystery Incorporated on Netflix (tried watching Be Cool Scooby-Doo the other day; as Hawkeye would put it, "not a fan.").

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  2. Well, at least The Bores didn't whine about the ending, like he ALWAYS does in his videos.

    Seriously, why does he often whine about endings in his videos?

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    1. There are many reasons I can cite; but the one I use most often is that he seems to be unable to adopt the right mindset for the time they came out in; such as when called the design of the Odyssey "crude" despite technically being an antique by today's standards (and being consistent with a piece of electronics from the 1970s in design).

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  3. I can't wait for DLAbaoaqu to tear this "review" to shreds.

    Bring back George Plimpton saying "I didn't know"
    Bring back the "It'll be dark soon" dude.
    Bring back that wah wah noise followed by AOSTH Robotnik saying fail.
    Bring it all back DLAbaoaqu.

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    1. I think he's still preoccupied with his Mario retrospective, but yeah, it needs to be riffed. DoubleEdgedSword2 or someone needs to ram a stake through this fucking "review's" heart.

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    2. DLA said he wants to do Castlevania. I messaged him on YouTube to see if he still wants to do the honors. I hope so, because I'm at a loss on how I would go about it. It's that bad.

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    3. People actually give a damn about "Down the Pipe"? I thought their only concern was me doing nothing but ICBINAVGN.

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    4. I like the "Down The Pipe" series. My favorite is #7. (WHAT ABOUT THIS?! WHAT ABOUT THIS?! WHAT ABOUT THIS?! WHAT ABOUT THIS?! WHAT ABOUT THIS?!)

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  4. Yep, I think Donkey Kong may have just been replaced as my worst retro review for this year as well, Dan. Just glad he didn't make a joke about Simon's appearance like he did with Mega Man. Also, that "Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae" song really fucking sucks. Doesn't help that it clashes with his usual masturbatory 80s references either. The Scooby-Doo bit may even be worse than the infamous Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue; it is that bad. I'm just going to leave this here while I recover.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMWjk4bwZNU

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  5. At this point, Bores might as well go whole hog and do Metroid next.

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    1. Seems likely. He'll probably whine about the difficulty (the series is not known for casual play); perv out at Samus at the end; and of course, continue to stroke his ego at the fact that Mother Brain was the main villain of Captain N (despite her being an incompetent egotist herself rather than an all-powerful plasma alien who's typically worthy of her status as the final boss).

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  6. Just like Obama, Chris is getting worse and worse and worse.

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    1. Is Obama really worse than about 90% of all other politicians, past and present, American and foreign?
      Not that I'm saying Obama is above criticism, but constantly singling him out on this blog is getting tiring IMHO.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. To be honest, at least Bores doesn't have an annoying sidekick, like Mike Matei, who is such en elitist jerk ("Those who play on emulators are not true gamers" Hyde playthrough "If you suck at games, you suck, you should have no easy mode" Tanooki suit in 3d World) I rather wach Bores, than Nerd and his annoying sidekick. But thats my opinion :)

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    1. You're kidding, right? Go watch Bores' MUSCLE review. He had an annoying sidekick who said "Bang-a-lang" a lot.

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    2. Ah yes, bringing up Matei just to prove IG is better than AVGN. Truly you are stuck in the past.

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    3. ... You do realize Mike is proof James has friends who are willing to work with him while Bores is so in the pits nobody wants to participate in his videos, right?

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    4. Chris had a dumbass sidekick on his green screen "roadtrip".

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    5. At least even James's partner in crime passes as a real gamer.

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    6. Speaking of Mike he bash Linkle from Hyrule Warriors last week, why? because(If I remember the tweet right) "the Zelda games already have a heroine so fuck Linkle", I'll give you moment to let that sink in......................................................................... Alight good?OK., First off, Midna is awesome and is better than any Zelda, Second, It's almost like he doesn't know Linkle is DLC, and Thirdly, Mike must have been real pissed off when everyone(myself included) though Link from Zelda U was going to be a girl.

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    7. @Niall Mac Dragard yes but he died when he drank the water in mexico :(

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    8. I still think it's bullshit how a $40 3DS version of a game will have more content than its $60 Wii U counterpart that came first. Like, seriously? They're not even going to make it DLC for the Wii U Hyrule Warriors?

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    9. @ Hunter. Actually, they do plan to include the new content for Legends as extra DLC for the U version in the near future. It's been a week since the Direct, but I'm fairly certain that's what they said. Plus, the Amiibo they're launching can unlock the characters as well. Plan on picking up Legends as well as the U version when I get a Wii U (probably getting one for Christmas and looking into a myriad of games and Amiibo for that and my 24th birthday in 2016).

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    10. I hear that Legends will have all the content of the original game, except for Challenge Mode.

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  9. I almost didn't have the energy to sit through the entire review because I knew it's going to be the same schtick all over again. The montages, the stupid cameos from the supporting characters (I really hate seeing Devil Bores again) and the lame one-liner jokes again. Oh and the cereal fetish again. *Sigh*

    Ah well, at least now I can go back to playing Tales of Zestiria.

    Trivia: The credits of Castlevania is both funny and intentional (Vram Stoker, James Banana and Christopher Bee). The reason why the credits include such funny names is because the developers of the game want to protect their identities and prevent other game companies from trying to lure them out of their current company. Till today, nobody knows who really develop the first Catelvania game. People say it's Hitoshi Akamatsu who directed the game but nobody can fully confirm that especially when the man completely disappear from the public eye since.

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  10. I haven't read this all the way through yet, but I had to stop when I got to the part about your "informant". I love when you use that word, it makes this sound so mysterious and secretive, hahahalololol

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  11. *slaver brian voice* "oh nooo"

    (love ya brian)

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  12. It just hit me: could it be that Parapper thing is Bores' poor attempt at a play on words with Patreon? As in, boasting he doesn't have one?

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  13. Hey, everybody.

    The Kindle version of Ghost Hunting 2.0 is coming up as free. I just "bought" it.

    While I can't recommend that everybody read this book it might not be a bad idea to add a copy to your library as a reference.

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    1. Curious to know, is that Amazon's doing or Bores?

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  14. I screenshot pretty much the whole book in case Amazon think I was cheating when buying the free book
    For anyone who is brave enough to sit through this crap cause I sure can't, here it is
    https://goo.gl/photos/FjuDrXdHd7k1AuoA9

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    1. thank you, i don't feel like signing up for amazon, or buying a kindle, let alone paying for his book.

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    2. However, I may sue you for any mental pain or other impairment this book may cause me.

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    3. After figure out that those photos can be reported because Google Photos, I'm not sure if they gonna stay there for long mostly because Boring Man and Bugging Woman follow this blog. What ever, I got backup

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    4. Well, Gary, Kindle books can be read on iPads, iPhones, Android devices, Windows, etc.

      That said, reading this book would be a huge waste of your time.

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  15. The most recent review by one 'Mike T' reads uniquely boresian.
    It's just....terrible. Lack of structure, inability to convey a thought, super ego stroking and the like.
    Btw, has anyone actually seen him in hardcore pawn?

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    1. There hasn't been a new episode of HP since April. I haven't heard news of cancellation, but talk of a new season seems overdue.

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  16. I could be alone on this, but that part about the Hunchbacks having ADHD really rubbed me in a wrong way. I have conversed with and gotten to know people online who have ADHD, and they are really awesome and kind individuals.
    With the way Bores used that line, it seemed to act as an insult towards them, and the countless number of other people in the world who have ADHD and are forced to deal with it on a daily basis.
    Even if it was part of a joke, it's not funny in the slightest.

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  17. By the way, the projectiles Igor throws at Simon during the fourth boss fight take 1/4 of your total health away, not 1/3.
    Simon starts out with 16 bars of health. If you watch the fight with Igor and the Frankenstein monster, every hit Simon takes drains 4 bars. If it was 1/3, Simon would lose 5 and 1/3 bars.
    I understand it's a small error, but it still caught my attention nonetheless.

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  18. I have an embarrassing tale to share with you guys: When I played this game, I made to Death with the Holy Water equipped. The battle started, I threw a projectile and... overshot the thing and managed to get clobbered!

    Anyway, story's over, now I'll give my two cents about this: It seems that Crisbo just doesn't give a damn about reviewing anymore. He's just trying to be like Family Guy and that's not a good thing. By the way, you're older than me?
    o_o

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  19. The quality of Chris's videos, while not great, were at least bearable and somewhat funny, even if he was a poorman's version of AVGN. Now, if it wasn't for this site, I wouldn't be able to sit through even a minute of his newer videos they're so bad. His videos used to be bad in a funny way. Now they're so bad that they're bad, like you feel embarrassed and dirty you're even wasting your time watching.

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    1. People used to complain about James' videos degrading in quality, but I would actually argue since mid 2013 the quality of his videos went back up. People used to complain about him being a dirty ebeggar and a sellout, but after his Indiegogo campaign many more have earned far more into the millions and now James' fundraising efforts look humble in comparison. Plus the movie was a technical wonder for the budget despite the script.

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  20. One thing I was surprised Chris never copied from James is his reviewing of board games, or did he?

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    1. he did but only did 1 video of one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqZEWPSW5zk&index=5&list=PLVXowHXIcogj_Xl0nzIG7P89RF6E4vKsm

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  21. I have seen Scooby Doo homages that are really good. This... is not. I'm gonna stay with the Mystery Skulls Ghost music video if you don't mind me. That actually has effort put in.

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  22. @You Tubed:

    It is Chris. Authors can set their own prices in the Kindle Direct Publishing program (with a few minimum pricing guidelines.)

    Authors can also choose to temporarily offer their books for free. That can last up to five days within a 90 day Kindle Direct Publishing period.

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    1. Thanks

      also saw your post about him doing it to boost ratings...pathetic. That reeks of desperation

      A good book will sell itself...just more proof it's not as good as he wants to believe it is...and faking reviews to swindle people is horrible

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  23. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s4W5ujtmBw

    Go crazy.

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    1. Thank you. Doing the drinking game; and I got all 8 conditions for non-alcoholic drinks at only a minute in. It's up to you what you want to do next; and I agree that Sword has done a good job filling your shoes. Now, the only thing I would want left to riff are the Power Rangers "reviews", and just for the fact that Christopher can't tell the difference between "retirement" and "hiatus" (though thanks to the stolen footage, the Genesis and Sega CD versions would obviously have to be on another outlet besides YouTube).

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  24. So it looks like Chris made the book free in order to boost its rankings. He is spamming authors all over Twitter to promote his free book. The really funny thing is he is even tweeting romance authors because of the "love story" in Ghost Hunting 2.0.

    I swear, you can't make this stuff up! Check out his Twitter profile: https://mobile.twitter.com/ChrisBoresIG?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

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    1. He's really getting desperate! Lying about your product is about the lowest thing one can do! Has he no shame?
      -_-

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    2. I didn't want to review the book without reading the whole thing, not just the free preview. I didn't want to give Bores one cent just to review his book, so I waited until I could buy it used (and still waiting for my copy weeks later). Should have just gotten this free digital copy (unless Bores gets paid for that, like he does the "free" kindle unlimited version).
      Oh well, if the physical copy ever shows up, it'll make a good gag gift.

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    3. Writers don't get any royalties for their books while they are on a temporary free promo period. As of now the Kindle version is still free.

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    4. Oh, but it'll still boost his sales ratings, right?
      That's probably his reason for doing it. He loves those bragging points, even if their unearned.

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    5. Yes, he stated it would boost his rankings and that is why he did it. To be fair it would not rise in the top paid best seller ranks though. If an author moves the book to free then it shows up in the top free best sellers for that time.

      Not sure if it has any impact in the category rankings. If anything, it seems that his rankings among paranormal and occult books have dropped but Amazon is kind of slow to update sometimes.

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    6. Let's just say Chris won't be spamming Twitter for much longer...

      Delete
  25. Check out DLA's riff of Bores' Castlevania video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s4W5ujtmBw

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of good stuff, but there's some strained criticism too. Pointing out that Michael Jackson wasn't born yet when the game is set is the critical equivalent of Bores' "Rob-O-Cop" joke: trying too hard to make the point rather than editing out what isn't working. If DLA really holds mere jokes to such stringent accuracy, then Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the worst comedy ever made by that standard. The AVGN videos are almost as bad as Bores' if you judge them that harshly (Bugs Bunny is a cartoon character; he's not going to come into your basement, you idiot.)

      Part of good criticism is giving the thing a fair chance, and letting it reveal how and where it sucks at its own pace. Some of DLA's points seem tailored to fit a pre-decided narrative that the Castlevania review WILL suck in every conceivable way.

      Delete
    2. @Harrod, I just found the Michael Jackson joke to be extremely tasteless. Whether he was ultimately guilty or not I feel it is a tacky thing to bring up, especially when the man is dead and he was never found guilty.

      I wasn't thrilled when AVGN did it either but there are two differences. AVGN was much more discrete and MR was still alive at the time.

      That and Bores effectively killed the joke by saying, "Stay away from my weiner."

      Well, there it is. No subtlety and the delivery wasn't funny at all. It was just awkward.

      Delete
    3. @Chico, we're talking about two different Jackson jokes; I was discussing DLA's '1691' pedantry regarding the Jackson zombies appearing in the first place. The weiner joke WAS awful, and perhaps part of the problem with DLA's '1691' point is that it took time and energy from criticizing the more awful joke.

      Delete
    4. Actually, I was kind of making a joke myself. He doesn't have to worry about Michael Jackson raping him because he didn't exist yet.

      Roll the Joker footage...

      Delete
    5. @Radio I guess it can get confusing when a comedically angry critic is comedically criticizing another comedically angry critic.

      Delete
    6. At the end of his video, he's asking if he should come out of retirement.

      Delete
    7. Yeah, I may never know what went on behind those doors; and I'm personally better off not knowing. Even so, it is consistent with Boring Man consistently putting inconsistent references in his reviews. Still, I agree with the MJ joke breaking history; and with Jacko probably not being interested in a 30-something with a hard-on for cereal and the 80s. Typical Family Guy bullshit is typical.

      Delete
    8. I can't comment on youtube, but I can give my opinion here and I say "YES!"
      ^-^

      Delete
  26. "One of The best irate gamer episode!!!" -- Stryker Kurtis

    "I'm only a minute and a half in, and I had to stop and laugh for a little while at the cool whip. Well played Mr. Bores." -- Jesse Spade

    "I agree Chris, you are really hitting your stride with this season. Each episode just keeps getting better and better. That montage was hilarious too. Another great episode." -- ChrisJ092

    "Love your montages dude" -- PikaLink91

    "Great video. Lots of clever cut-aways and jokes." --theendingman

    "Another episode that qualifies for "The Best of Irate Gamer". I was irritated, grumpy and impatient and not really in the mood to watch this, but after a few minutes I was laughing and having a great time and all cheered up! Thanks so much for turning my night into a cheerful one." -- Jay H

    "Wow, your videos are getting better each time. I wish I could say the same about that other overrated nerd who gets angry..." -- blackice

    "This has to be my all time favorite video by you, Christopher!. I laughed so friggin' hard at the montage section all the way to the end of the video. So nice to see the characters Ronny and Satan in the line up this time around. You out did yourself, Christopher for this video. Lmao Great Job!!! Thanks for the entertainment" -- LadyBuggin777

    "Damn, your effects are pretty good" -- Eduardo Pereira

    >_____<

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At this point, even these all have to be sock puppets too. I know they're probably not, but it only makes sense if they are sock puppets.

      Delete
    2. A while back I looks at a lot of the profiles leaving positive comments on his videos and found that they did nothing but leave positive comments on his videos. Those were obviously sock puppets.
      I looked at some of these, and they appear to be legit accounts.

      Delete
  27. Has anyone here heard of or been following the efforts that Derek Savage has been making to copyright strike and shut down YouTube channels like "I Hate Everything" for using footage from his (low budget) movie "Cool Cat Saves the Kids" in reviews for that movie? I swear, this guy has to be related to Bores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm unfamiliar with the man, but I gather he's a real asshole. He claims to be this religious person; but I've seen a few Tumblr posts saying Savage is quite unpleasant and his movie is terrible in how anvilcious it is; to say nothing of the actual quality. Kind of like how Chris claims to be religious despite making that callous statement toward the late Justin Carmical; making a 39-minute video where he "opens up" a load of hot air; and making a monetized "tribute" towards Leonard Nimoy which has mysteriously vanished as of this comment. Glad Dan still has that post.

      Delete
    2. A friend of mine on Facebook told me about him. And from what I've heard, yes, he's a real asshole.

      For some reason however, YMS.org's review of Cool Cat wasn't removed.

      Delete
    3. While IHE made the mistake of escalating things over the copyright strike too quickly, he at least admitted his fault and stated that he never wanted any of this shit to happen. And his channel name is basically a hyperbole, as he fairly criticizes different things and points out their flaws in a non-vulgar way. Derek Savage, on the other hand, is being a bully with this and is going against everything that his own character, Cool Cat, stands for.

      Delete
    4. Although the decision to pull out was IHE's to make, I'm a little disappointed that the situation was neutered just as it was getting insanely entertaining. Savage's 21-minute video of ad hoc legal whaargarbl felt like the buildup to an insane public feud that could not possibly have ended well for him. I'm still wondering if he can possibly dig himself deeper, and where the part 2 video he promised is.

      Delete
    5. Sad thing is he's not the first director to do something so disgusting as this! It doesn't even apply to just movies: many creators want negative reviews taken down! This is unfortunately the norm these days and really shows that no one can accept criticism.
      -_-

      Delete
    6. What Derek Savage is doing would be the same as the creators of Jaws 4 removing the Siskel and Ebert review because they didn't give their terrible movie 2 thumbs up.

      Delete
    7. What is your opinion on the Cool Cat books?

      Delete
  28. Remember this Castlevania review? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAclK2EzkzI

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *falls on floor laughing at how great this parody is*

      Delete
    2. We should ask Third Rate Gamer what it would cost to get him out of retirement and then raise it on Kickstarter,

      Delete
    3. Watching this really shows how Bores is more like a self-parody lately.
      And what remains of his fans just eat it up. I don't get it...

      Delete
    4. Why he's almost already made parodies of he latest stuff. It's like he has a TARDIS or something…..

      Delete
  29. Man, I had forgotten this gem when Chris puts himself on the same level as Isaac Newton:


    " In this book, you will find that for the first time ever, ancient texts like the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Egyptian book of the Dead have been decoded through the eyes of a ghost hunter. Doing this helps us achieve the same kind of enlightenment that Newton did."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy fuck. Comparing himself to Isaac Newton. The ego on this man.

      Delete
    2. Newton also actually believed in the Philosopher's Stone
      So Maybe Bores realizes he just as crazy as Newton

      Delete
    3. Crisbo can't even do basic English correctly! What makes him think he'll ever be as good as Newton?
      >.<

      Delete
  30. Off topic, but did anyone watch Nostalgia Critic's recent commercials video? I thought the one about the Spagetteo's was hilarious. I remember seeing that commercial and always being baffled as to what sport the kids were playing seeing as it was both guys and girls.

    And FUCK, did he really have to show the PSA commercial with the girl getting into the slipping accident in the kitchen?!?!?!? I mean, yeah, I agree, blame Canada for putting out such disturbing commercials, but do we really need to bring attention to them? Canada is already fucked up as it is; we don't need to be fucked up as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And of course, THE Don Bluth made a special appearance and will most likely be appearing in his next review. I just wonder what the next movie the NC will review is.

      Delete
    2. I used to think Don Bluth did Iron Giant. It has his animation style, but he had no involvement in that movie whatsoever.

      Delete
    3. Has anyone shared the "Dragon's Lair" kickstarter here yet?
      Unfortunately, it only has three days left and it looks pretty far behind, only $226,084 of the $550,000 goal.

      Delete
    4. Thanks for saying my country is fucked up....ass

      Delete
    5. Dude, have you seen what everyone else says about the U.S.?

      Delete
  31. So, I wonder if Bore's season finale will be ripping off Captain-N footage to interject him into the story just like he did with Power Rangers?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Does anyone here knows what kind of video editing software that Boring Man use on his videos? I'm curious.

    ReplyDelete
  33. i don't understand the tardis thing, and i have no idea what nae nae means (or whip in the context of that song) and i plan to stay in the dark on that. its funny, the only other time i have heard that song, its someone's ringtone and that is the only part of the song that plays

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, it blew my mind a bit that batdan is 25. I assumed he was more my age (ie Bores age) or just a few years younger, but just happened to keep up on newer stuff. Pretty funny to think that 6 years ago, a 19 year old was tearing down a 30ish guys work so succinctly. New level of respect man

      Delete
    2. The TARDIS joke can never be understood or explained any more than Foghorn Leghorn's appearance in the Kung Fu review can. Bores' philosophy of humor relies heavily on showing people something they'll recognize, deciding that's a joke, congratulating himself and moving on. As we see here, it's often even lazier than Family Guy, which at least ties a funny situation to the reference, giving you a little ten-second sketch as payment for interrupting the storyline.

      Delete
  34. Hey Guys. Since Bores apparently hadn't gotten much heat from stealing copyright stuff, is it because he is so small people wont care, or cause the companies worry on the Streisand Effect? Which would be more believable?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's because he's so small. The Streisand effect as I understand it doesn't apply when the company's work actually has been stolen and they have a solid legal case. The Streisand effect applies more to Internet-naive people who think you can scrub information from the net by getting angry enough, and are heedless or contemptuous about freedom of expression.

      Delete
    2. Exactly. The Streisand Effect is attempted censorship only makes people more aware of the thing they're trying to get rid of.
      A good example is small game companies flagging TotalBiscuit and Jim Sterling videos for calling out their shitty games, only doing so makes everyone realize how terrible they are.

      Disney is a company that knows how to avoid the effect, as shown with the indie film Escape from Tomorrow, its claim to fame being "we shot this at Disney Land without permission, oooh". Disney ignored it and it's obscure as hell.

      What Chris did (and will likely do with the next DVD) is straight up copyright infringement/stealing. The Streisand Effect does not apply here.

      So like Harrod said, Chris only gets away with this because he's a tiny YouTuber. If he was more well known, he would get in loads of trouble.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, and I get a kick out of how Bores never learns from his mistakes. You'd think he would do something about it if he was as popular as he claims he is. He probably reads this blog and yet he still does copyright infringement. I think the reason why he does it is a desperate attempt at attention.

      Delete
  35. On a related note, I have been looking up Star Wars knock offs from the late 70s and early 80s. Does anyone know if George Lucas sued companies that made movies like "Message From Space, Battle Beyond the Stars, Battle Star Galactica, Starcrash, etc." What's ironic is many elements from the aforementioned Star Wars ripoffs seemed to be used in the two sequels that followed. George Lucas is a vindictive man. I heard that he sold Star Wars over lawsuits. I wonder if he copied elements in Star Wars ripoffs to use in ESB & ROTJ to get back at copy cats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the only thing that got made that pissed George Lucas off was the Star Wars Holiday Special.

      Delete
  36. On a related note, I have been looking up Star Wars knock-offs from the late 70s and early 80s. Does anyone know if George Lucas sued companies that made movies like "Message From Space, Battle Beyond the Stars, Battle Star Galactica, Starcrash, etc." What's ironic is many elements from the aforementioned Star Wars ripoffs seemed to be used in the two sequels that followed. George Lucas is a vindictive man. I heard that he sold Star Wars over lawsuits. I wonder if he copied elements in Star Wars ripoffs to use in ESB & ROTJ to get back at copy cats.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Assassin's Creed something or other Book Review. 5 minutes 25 secs. was not expecting this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopelessly rushed. He just flips through every page so we can see it is indeed an entire book.

      And as my name reveals, I'm an Anglophile, so judge for yourself how dumb this truly is, but he does every uneducated clod's double mispronunciation of "Thames," saying it the way it looks instead of "Temms."

      Delete
    2. I want to see him review his own book like that. "Ohh, this is a good page, i get tons of emails from my fans saying they love page 89!!"

      Delete
    3. Haven't gotten a chance to watch yet, but I'm not surprised. He has done book reviews in the past this way, like the Ninja Turtles book and the Batman Arkham Asylum book.

      Delete
    4. Sad that he doesn't own a PS4 or Xbox One, so he has to read books based on the newer games in order to catch up to today's gaming industry.

      Delete
  38. due to boredom i made this poll for worst ig episodes (not all of them are listed but my choices)
    http://strawpoll.me/6087759

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I picked the Season 4 finale. I'm still amazed at how little of other people Bores actually got for his cheering scene...

      Delete
    2. Well, Chris only has Asaleri & Archfiend as friends so what do you expect?

      Delete
    3. Jaws and ET weren't god awful videos when compared to his other reviews.
      You forgot to put Aladdin and Predator on this pole

      Delete
  39. You might be eligible to get a free $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.

    ReplyDelete