Looks like we’re back everyone! Seems “semi-retirement” means “I’ll release a video whenever the fuck I feel like it”. No more shitty tech reviews, no more art books, just a video crapped out every couple of months. That’s my guess anyway. He’s replaced his channel banner to just say “The Irate Gamer”. No more “new videos every Tuesday and Friday”.
I have heard that a Multi Channel Network can drop you if views are really low. Considering Bores no longer belongs to CDN/Studio 71, it’s likely they dropped him for abysmal views. I have to wonder what advice they gave him to get his channel to grow and if he ever took any of it. Chris has a really bad history of never taking criticism or advice to help him. Hell, he only started doing Let’s Play videos last year (and then stopped).
Sooooo yeah, a new regular Irate Gamer episode is here. He’s actually been teasing this one for a few weeks. The title indicates that this is the beginning of “Season 6”. Meaning Season 5 was only 10 episodes (12 if you count History of Video Games, and I don’t) and the finale was… Excitebike. Wow, lame.
How is he going to start this new season? Go back to talking about legitimate bad games? NOPE! More bashing of classics. Starting with Duck Hunt. … The video is 6:18 long (less when you consider the end slate). Considering how little gameplay there is, I sense this is going to be padded as fuuuuuuck.
Let’s look at the description.
“This time taking a look at the classic video game, Duckhunt and the stupid dog!” Duck Hunt is two words you illiterate idiot!
Also “and the stupid dog”? This is going to be all about the damn dog isn’t it? I sense jokes more stale than year old licorice.
“You know what I'm talkin' about!” Do we? Do we really?
Intro’s still the same. No updates for this new “season”.
0:17 - 0:46: Duck Hunt is “iconic“, ducks get faster in each level, cue a bit where a duck hits him in real life. I’m already bored.
He notes how Duck Hunt was packaged with the NES on release, and shows it alongside Super Mario Bros. Incorrect. For the very first NES release, Duck Hunt launched alongside Gyromite. It wasn’t until later that it was packaged with Super Mario Bros. This is a basic NES fact, how do you keep getting so many things wrong Chris?
He notes various releases of the game, which is a list joke leading into a pointless Brady Bunch reference. This is why watching too much Family Guy is hazardous to your health.
0:46 - 1:29: He drops the cartridge and… oh noooo. The Pixel Demon is back. Really? We’re doing storyline bullshit again? He still doesn’t look like pixels, or a demon. He just looks a crappy ogre or troll.
So he appears and… walks off screen. Okay so it’s just setting up pointless bullshit later in the video.
“To play this particular game however” Awkward sentence. Do you ever proofread your scripts?
He brings up the light gun. Then he asks “What’s a Light Gun?” … You can’t say that line when you’ve used the Zapper on multiple occasions, or the Super Scope, or the Odyssey Rifle. Oh, it just leads to a bit where he points the barrel at his face and blinds himself with light. Even though that makes zero sense!
Explains that it reacts to light on the TV, and he keeps failing. Then brings up that it won’t work on new televisions as we see he now has a tiny flat-screen HD TV. Seriously that looks like it’s 20 inches. I didn’t even know they still made TVs that small.
So he needs to get an older model, and it replaces his HD TV with one from the 50’s. Dumb joke. Then his usual Sharp TV. I just realized, if he actually explained his points normally without a cutaway or stupid reaction attached, his videos would only be like 2 minutes long. He has no content, just bad jokes.
1:30 - 2:34:
He goes over the first two modes, how you only get three bullets, and if you miss everything the dog will laugh at you.
“What a DEEICK” Yes yes, we haven’t heard this joke a billion times already…
He brings up that you need to kill 6/10 to advance and REALLY? You have to use the “Green Circle of Fucking Obvious” on this? Well it’s more an oval but still. My brain is hurting…
Ducks get faster, hide behind the greenery, obvious editing in use (like holy shit it’s blatant), and he misses and the dog laughs. Bored.
2:35 - 2:53: Pixel Demon shows up on his shelf, says it’s time for his revenge. IG misses ducks again (wow, how do you suck at Duck Hunt?), he throws his zapper like a child and it manages to hit the Pixel Demon. Well that was pointless.
Dog laughs at him again. “God I wish I could shoot that dog”. Didn’t you already do that back in the Jaws “review”? Then again, Chris seems to have a memory made of Swiss cheese so I wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot all about that. This is the same guy that reviewed Rayman Legends twi- … *checks* Oh shit, he deleted the second Rayman Legends video. I always seem to discover a new deleted video every time I look. Hopefully someone has been saving everything.
2:53 - 3:22: He says one major downside is that the screen never changes. You never go to other locations like forests, deserts, tundras or the moon. While that could be a good point, you have to remember that this was a VERY early NES game. It came out in Japan in 1984, a good year before Super Mario Bros, which had plenty of screen variation.
Though this was likely an excuse to have the Duck Hunt dog suffocate in space and have his head explode. Keep it classy Chris. Also, how do the ducks fly around in this imaginary moon level if there‘s no air or gravity? Throwing logic out the window for terrible jokes.
Still complains it‘s only one screen. “Talk about your Lake Shittycacas” That name was dirty enough before, you ruined the joke. God damn it Chris.
Then he commits suicide with the Zapper. This is what, the fourth time he’s done this? I don’t care to check.
3:23 - 3:45: First 20 levels are easy, then they get hard. How does anyone think Chris is a good reviewer? The points he makes are fucking obvious.
Then an obvious edit of the game going super fast, and an even more obvious edit of more than two ducks on the screen (pretty sure the game would break if that happened)
“Die you motherfuckers” Back to uncensored cursing I see.
Then he screams “Damn it!”, shoots his ceiling and a shitty debris effect falls on him. Review over? I wish.
Then he fucking growls at the dog. Are you five? You’re reminding me of Chris-chan when he tried to “bare his teeth” like an animal to scare away the trolls.
3:46 - 4:10: Then the Pixel Demon shows up again. This time he successfully attacks IG, but apparently he’s nothing more than a bug to him.
“A Pixel Demon?!” Wait, there’s more than one?! Or was that Chris not checking his script again?
So apparently the Pixel Demon can “glitch games”. Is that what he was doing with Silver Surfer? I thought he was a great menace that was locked away in a super hard game. Chris, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your own bullshit writing? I thought you were proud of your “movie”?
Anyway, because he can “glitch games”, IG shoves him into the Zapper, and he manages to kill the dog. Oh god this is so dumb… The overly dramatic music that plays only showcases how dumb it really is.
4:11 - 5:49: He moves onto the Clay Shooting game and briefly describes it. Calling them “clay discs” instead of clay pigeons but whatever. Then he edits in the dog to laugh at him. IG yells that he’s not supposed to be here, and the dog gives him an angry thumbs up? Oh wait that’s supposed to be a middle finger. How has your sprite editing gotten even worse?
Then… things get really bad.
He shakes the Zapper to get the Glitch Gremlin I mean Pixel Demon out and into an NES controller. He presses the A button and it… summons a Super Mario pipe, and Zelda music plays when it appears. Where is the sense?!
IG jumps into the pump head first, oh good he’ll die on the way down. No, he just ends up inside the game. He starts chasing the dog and they start going through different games. It goes on for a long fucking time. Super Mario Bros 3, Kung-Fu, Metroid, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Life Force, DuckTales, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game, Gyromite, Mega Man, Mortal Kombat?! That’s not even an NES game! No, this is so he can uppercut the dog off the Pit and into the spikes below. This. Was. Fucking. Retarded!
Of course, there’s the “plz subscreeb” end slate. He claims that whole ending scene took him 12 hours. … Am I supposed to be impressed?
Same shit, different day.
To be honest, when I heard the Pixel Demon would be back, I thought we’d get something slightly different. Something more than the usual gray slop he’s been giving us for the past year. But no, it’s more of the same, the Pixel Demon was pointless anyway. It was more of the usual crap. The game is hard, limitation complaints, pointless complaints, tons and tons and tons of padding, holy shit that last scene felt like it went on and on. And why? He already killed the dog back in his Jaws review, this just feels so pointless.
I don’t understand how people are saying this is a good video. Nothing about it is good. The jokes are old and stale, or just dumb, the effects are mediocre, he made zero good points, yet somehow people are saying “OH GREAT VIDEO HERP HERP HERP”. I just don’t get it. Please explain to me IG fans why you think his videos are still good?
Who knows when Chris is going to put out another video? Especially if he’s in “semi-retirement”.