Thursday, October 27, 2016

Chris Continues the Sister Location LP. I'm Surprised It Didn't Take 3 Months!

Hmmm, where to start? Let's go with Puppet Steve as that's what I imagine most of this post will cover.

On Monday, he posted a video where he reviews socks. ... I am not kidding. Well, he reviews a special edition Ghostbusters 2016 Blu-Ray that comes with socks. Is there a market for this?
In it, Steve said it was a good movie. You know, I shouldn't be surprised. Chris loved Pixels, and a lot of critics have noticed tonal similarities between the two.
He also says "it's the extended edition, which has more scenes than in the original" There's not enough "no shit, sherlocks" in the world.
The thing that sticks out most though is what he says at the start. "All this week on the Puppet Steve channel, we're doing Halloween items". So this was posted Monday, and one can guess from that line he'll be posting a new video every day. ... Seems Chris still can't keep his promises. Tuesday, nothing. Wednesday, nothing. Today, noth- oh wait, there is something.

It's not a product review, it's more of his Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location LP. Or his "JumpScare Reaction Gameplay" Seriously what is this?
Now kids will know the annoyance of Bores promising something, and never fulfilling it.

Last time, Steve fear quit after the very first obstacle in the game. I wonder if this is how Chris treats every game.
I imagine we'll see more after he looked up- I mean watched some other vid- I mean TOTALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET PAST THE BIDYBAB ON HIS OWN

"I'm going to beat this stupid baby once and for all" Woooow that would be some great "out of context" material.
"I guess I showed that stupid baby diaperhead!" Chris, kids don't say this. Quit taking tips from shitty sitcoms.
He succeeds.
"Ugh, more of the stupid girl talking" Your sexism is showing Chris.
 Steve puts together that Circus Baby actually knows what's happening. Welcome to narrative Chris! You get a cookie.
He goes through the Ballora Gallery. I think there's jump cuts at points.
And like a moron, he was moving around when Ballora's music was nearby and gets jumped. You're supposed to stay still! Didn't you listen to Circus Baby?
He skips right over finishing the gallery and moves right to restoring the power with Funtime Freddy watching him.
He fixes some, gets jumped, then finishes fixing them. But then he skips over going through the Gallery again, and skips over the second part of The Immortal and the Restless. You don't know what fun is!

When the HandUnit asks for music, he wants Justin Timberlake. Yeah I'm sure you're totally a Justin Timberlake fan.
When he gets Casual Bongos, he makes a remark about Pitbull. I've only heard a few Pitbull songs but I don't recall hearing bongos in them.
Onto moving through Funtime Foxy's hall. I predict a possible quit from this part.
He gets his flash beacon, which Steve thinks is a camera. Did he fucking say it was a camera?! No surprise, he uses it too much and gets jumped. Blames Foxy. Still in the habit of blaming the game I see.
Gets through Foxy, and onto the part where he needs to repair Freddy.
He removes the part from the chest module and gets complimented for it. "Heh heh, well I am pretty cool" No you're not. You're the opposite of cool. Nothing about you can qualify as cool.
I stand corrected, he rage quits on trying to push the button on Bonnie's bow tie, and he gets jumped by him three times. Well, at least there was no Zombie Steve.

Slight improvement as there's more commentary, but that's not saying much.

Over on Irate Gamer, he posted a Box Wars last week. ... Oh, there is something more interesting.
According to reader Rick Lee, Chris stealthily dropped the Irate Gamer Season 5 DVD on his store. Yeah, no announcement or anything.
Guess Chris wants to squeeze a few more dollars out of the few IG fans he has left.
Says it contains 10 episodes, which I imagine are DuckTales, Kid Icarus, Punch Out, Spy Hunter, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Kung-Fu, Castlevania, Excitebike, and Duck Hunt.
No extras are listed at all. I would not be surprised if Chris lazily slapped it together with just these episodes, with no changes to them. More copyrighted footage!
The cover art, which is only shown as a tiny thumbnail, is absolutely abysmal. The top 3/4ths of it are the start-up screen from the Irate Gamer Game. Chris just loooves to milk that image. On the bottom 1/4th are random screenshots. Looks like the ending to Kung-Fu, Duck Hunt, and a scene from Punch-Out. Shouldn't these go on the back of the box? Amazing how he topped the laziness of the last cover art.

Do you think anyone will buy this? It used to be that at least one purchase would be from Shawn of TotalActionAdventure, but I just checked the site and it's gone. The domain lapsed. That's a shame, I enjoyed reading it.
EDIT: Turns out Shawn simply moved site. You can see his new blog at this link. Thank you red for informing me about this.
Chris really needs to communicate better. Maybe then he wouldn't be included on a video about fallen YouTube stars made by someone that legit tried to help him.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Guru Larry Presents: The Untold Rise and Fall Stories of 3 YouTube Gaming Channels

Hello you! (oh noes, plagiarism)
Our old friend Larry Bundy Jr AKA Guru Larry has posted a new video going over how once popular gaming channels on YouTube took a major nosedive.

You can watch the video here.

I'm posting this as one of the subjects is Chris Bores himself. I also helped with some of the info.
You can also see how Machinima fell, and the complete obliteration of GameLife (now there's a relic).


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Chris Finally Hops on a Bandwagon at the Right Time

Chris has always struggled capitalizing on popular trends. When Let's Plays were becoming big, Chris ignored them. Whenever a big game would come out, Chris would ignore it, or talk about it months later. All this only made it clear Chris does not care about games and never has.
I even addressed this in my last post, pointing out all the FNAF toy videos he made were popular but that he wasn't smart enough to play the newest game. I'm guessing he read that and got insulted because he just posted a "Let's Play" of Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location. On Puppet Steve. If Chris was smart, he would have posted this on the Irate Gamer channel, where he has more subscribers and more people that care about video games.
This also proves Chris can play PC games. Even if this game is one most toasters can run.

But yeah, another Puppet Steve Let's Play, or  rather... whatever this word salad title is:
Five Nights at Freddy's FNAF Sister Location Reaction Gameplay JumpScare Video Puppet Steve
"Jump scare" is two words Chris. 
The video is only 6:17 long so I'm not expecting much.

Steve is at his laptop.
"We're looking at the new Five Nights at Freddy's game, Sister Location, which is the sequel to the original" Right off the bat and we already have some Bores-level stupidity. This is the fifth game in the series Chris, how do you not know that there's multiple FNAF games? Do you think that every animatronic toy you looked at was in the first game? How is it so hard for you to do research?
Zombie Steve scene, he runs away.

We see the game, and in the corner I can see a Steam alert. The standard one that tells you how to access the community while you play. What happened to "I have no reason to be on Steam" which you claimed in your Gauntlet E3 video in 2014? Then again, that was likely a lie as I've heard stories about you using Steam to play Left 4 Dead. Either way, he's on Steam now. I doubt we'll see his username.

Here's a fun game to play. Count how many times he says "alright".
During the intentionally broken "name yourself" part, an Exit Game prompt appears. The hell? The editing also feels weird.
"What an idiot" It's supposed to be broken and call you Eggs Benedict. That's the joke.
 Steve tries to put on a tough guy act and say it's not creepy at all. Don't pull a DSP.

Going through the motions, being boring...
Zaps Balora, zaps Funtime Foxy. He calls Foxy a "he", but apparently this Foxy's gender is unknown as HandUnit calls Foxy "she" but the Angsty Teen voice in Night Two calls Foxy "he". So he could be right.
"Stupid Zombie Steve, this isn't creepy:" What did I say about pulling a DSP?
He beats the first night because obviously it's meant to be the easiest. He continues to pretend this isn't creepy. It kind of is, at least in terms of location. Off the bat you can tell something is wrong. The broken name input, the faulty electricity, Circus Baby not appearing, atmosphere is important Chris.

Wait, he skipped right to Night Two! Come on, aren't you at least going to watch The Immortal and the Restless? Eat some popcorn?
"I'm going to be an angsty puppet here in a minute" Your Irate Gamer side is showing.
Goes through the Night 2 zapping, proceeds to Circus Baby's room. "That guy gives me the creeps" ... Circus Baby is a girl. How can she even give you the creeps when you haven't seen her at this point? Your "riffing" makes no sense.
"Time to shock him" Chris really has trouble with gender doesn't he? 
HandUnit goes offline, and the lights go out. For some reason, the lights dim in the Puppet Steve cutaways. More IG is showing, the game effecting reality somehow.

He does the part where you hide under the desk from the Bidybab. He closes it, but then he doesn't try to keep it closed so the Bidybab quickly jump scares and kills him. When it cuts to Steve reacting, the lights are back on. Nice continuity Chris.
ZS appears with a "told you so" but Steve continues the tough guy act and tries again. He fails again. Then quits. Quitting after two jump scares, you really suck at this Chris.

Not only that, but this video sucks. It's really boring, Chris has no good commentary or jokes. He just points out the obvious and says what's he doing. Holy shit he really is DSP. Chris, why don't you try watching a whole bunch of Let's Plays and see how they do it? The way you're doing it with this and the Lego Dimensions video, you're not going to win fans. You're way too boring. Then again, you are Chris Bores.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Chris Exposes His PSN in a Crappy Lego Let's Play

You’re probably expecting some more Puppet Steve right? There is, but I have to level with you. These videos are kind of a chore to get through. They’re so redundant, almost formulaic. Steve shows a toy, bad jokes, “isn’t that right Zombie Steve?”, more bad jokes, barely talks about the toy, lame effects. There’s very little substance and it's nowhere near as fun as dissecting the Irate Gamer.

I’ll bring up a few things about it though.
He seems to have found success with Five Nights at Freddy’s. He made a bunch of videos about the toys and got a shitload of views. I do kind of question it, but I know FNAF is crazy popular so he might not be cheating. Maybe. I doubt he’d play the games though, he’s not that smart. You’d think with Sister Location he’d hop on that bandwagon, it’s clear he knows nothing.

There’s a video where he “interviews” Deathstroke, rather a Lego figure of him.  This is in response to the footage that Ben Affleck posted of Deathstroke in the DCEU. The entire joke is that he says “kill kill kill” a lot, and that he loves to kill. Making it VERY OBVIOUS that Chris has no idea what Deathstorke is actually like. It’s one of the worst videos Chris has ever made. Completely and utterly insulting.

He’s also begun looking at toys for Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol. What the hell is that? They’re shows on Nick Jr. Meaning Chris is reviewing literal baby stuff for babies. I can understand Minecraft, Lego, FNAF, that stuff appeals to all ages. Why talk about this crap?
Well, I took a look at his Twitter (yes there’s a Puppet Steve Twitter, it’s pretty sad) and I found a hint. He doesn’t follow many people, mostly Toledo-based accounts, Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Fallon *cough*shittaste*cough* and one called “Jazwares”. They’re a toy company that specializes in Minecraft, Terraria, something called Animal Jam, apparently RWBY (they keep retweeting Rooster Teeth) and Peppa Pig. Huuuuh. In fact, not only does “Steve” follow them, they follow him. Yeah, this sounds like a brand deal. Does “Steve” mention this is a brand deal? NOPE! Shady and scummy just like Irate Gamer.

The Puppet Alex videos are still alright. Chris’ stepdaughter at least sounds like she knows and cares about what she’s talking about.

Anyway, onto what I do want to talk about. A pair of videos about Lego Dimensions, and the new Ghostbusters movie. Now retitled Ghostbusters: Answer the Call.

Video title is still word salad nonsense. Ghostbusters New Movie LEGO Dimensions Story Pack 71242 Abby Yates Chinese Unboxing Review
Why just “Chinese”? Was there not enough space for restaurant? Get rid of “new movie” for 2016, get rid of the numbers, now you have space. Still hard to read though.

More copyrighted material. Does he not get content ID’d for this?
“Once we open this up, we find that there’s all kinds of pieces to put together” … This was a line that was said.
Apparently Steve has “puppet magic” and with the words “Alaka-Ghosts n Goblins” he puts it together in an instant. So just like the retarded Muffin magic from the start. Also, Ghosts n Goblins reference? Did you forget what channel you’re on?
He lists what’s part of it like it actually matters. This is just meant to go on the portal, it’s not a legit Lego playset.
He shows off the sliding doors, with Star Trek noises. Stop.
Then there’s a dumb bit with a greeter and a trio of Minecraft Lego. The greeter is actually Sensei Wu from Lego Ninjago, who has a figure for Dimensions. Yes, he has a bad accent. And then more bad accent. Blah…
The set comes with an Abby Yates figure (Melissa’s McCarthy’s character because she was sooooo memorable). “She comes in her brand new uniform seen in the movie” No shit. Of course it’s accurate to the movie why wouldn’t it be? Not to mention the new uniform is dumb with those stripes across the chest.
He makes her talk, and he didn’t even try to sound like McCarthy.
He shows off the Peter Venkmen figure. Yes, just remind us of the good Ghostbusters movie, that won’t hurt at all.
“This is a fun playset” It’s not meant to be a playset! It’s for the game! Uggh
He shows the real purpose and acts like this is an “extra feature”. You are so bad at this.
Then a dumb bit where the doors slide open and Zombie Steve pops up.
He shows off the new Ecto-1. That’s it.

Now, onto the bigger video. Puppet Steve’s longest video to date.
Ghostbusters Movie LEGO Dimensions Aldridge Mansion Level 1 Story Pack Letsplay commentary

Yep, he’s doing a Let’s Play. A 10:04 one meant to cover the first level of six (I am doubtful he will get that far).
I want to thank iDuck for helping me out with info about the video that I might have missed.

We got Steve with a PS3 controller in front of him. “Put the main figure on the portal” You don’t have to move it to the center, the spot it was on works just fine.
He starts the game, and he has to download the pack in order to access it. Is this a PS3 only thing? Pay attention to that download screen, I’m going to talk about something important after I finish the video.

He points out the crossover stuff (see, that’s a big part of the game Chris)
“This animatic comes straight to us from the movie” Wrong in so many ways. That’s a cutscene, not an animatic. An animatic is an animated storyboard made early in production. You made this exact same mistake in your Lego Marvel review. Also, how is it straight from the movie when it’s all Lego? I don’t recall the movie being Lego.
He decides to be quiet for the cutscene. Chris not vomiting out his stupid Steve voice? Perish the thought!
“Ooh Ghostbusters, this is going to be aweso-” and it cuts off. Nice editing Chris…
“Things are on fire? This is looking to be a great game” … You have an odd idea of what makes a good game. Plus, haven’t you already played this? It’s the same as all the other Lego Dimensions levels.
Another cutscene. Turn on subtitles!
This is boring…
He points out the Back to the Future Deloreon again, but somehow misses Velma from Scooby-Doo and Chell from Portal walking by. You have weird priorities.
But he does notice the Mystery Machine. … This is really damn boring.

So 3 minutes in and he gets to the gameplay. Normally I wouldn’t mind this, but it’s just so…. Blaaah.
He calls the studs “Lego Money”. Oh my god Chris, how many of these have you played? You couldn’t get that right?
“Get to play as any 3 of the Ghostbusters” Except Patty, don’t forget about her even if you really want to.
Okay so he builds one of the Keystone generators, and it’s clear he didn’t have it, so it cuts and he comes back after having completed more of the game. Well, I think that happened because… we’ll get to that.
“The blonde haired Ghostbuster” Her name is Jillian, it says so in the upper-left corner. Why are you so bad with names?
More awful jokes…
He’s saying “Alright” so much. More than he usually does. It’s really damn annoying.
I just noticed, the portal isn’t even plugged in. It’s supposed to light up. Just like how he never turns the controllers on…
There’s so many jump cuts, the other three Ghostbusters Dimensions characters appear out of nowhere. Use the other characters Chris, that’s the point of the game. It’s a massive crossover! Put the Doctor in there, put the Joker in there, do something interesting!

Oh he does put Superman in there. Still boring…
“Ooh another animatic” GAH!
A joke about floating books in his grandma’s house. I don’t get it…
More awful jokes… you’re not funny!
You know, I’m surprised Bores isn’t doing face cam. Especially since that’s what all the kids go for.
Not funny not funny not funny not funny… by which I mean Bores’ commentary.
“Ugh now we have to fight this painting” Seriously Chris? You don’t understand a boss fight? Lego Dimensions actually has them in every level!
“Who knew a painting could be so evil? Heh, well I did once you watch Ghostbusters II!” Don’t sound so smug about it Chris. Also this only goes to show how unoriginal this movie is.
Vigo reference, crossing the streams reference. Whatever…
Level 1 ends.
“Boy that was creepy, hope I can go to bed tonight” Even as a joke, you sound like a major wuss to get scared by a Lego game.

So yeah that really sucked. This was boring even by his standards. He clearly had no material. No energy either. You’re so bad at all kinds of videos. Just stick with editing other people’s material.

But, that’s not what I really want to talk about. Remember when I mentioned to pay attention to the download? Seems Chris in all his wisdom forgot to block out his PSN name!

Yep, we now know that Chris goes by “irate_g” on Playstation. Thanks to iDuck for pointing it out.
With this, we can see what games Chris has played on PS3 and PS4. Here’s a list:

*whistles* Look at those low numbers. Most of these he clearly only played for the show.
You can tell the ones he actually liked from the higher numbers. Ghostbusters 2009, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, Dante’s Inferno, God of War III, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, LittleBigPlanet 2, Batman: Arkham City, Lego Batman 2, Diablo III, and that’s where it ends. Oh, except for all the Skylanders games. His most “complete” is the first one, Spyro’s Adventure. It’s like once he discovered Skylanders, he gave up.

You can also see some notorious “reviews”. Brutal Legend only has one (beat the first level), Tekken 6 somehow has zero! He couldn’t past the first stage of Scenario Mode!
Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters only has two, didn’t get far. Lego Star Wars III only has two, also didn’t get far. He did manage six trophies in Mortal Kombat 9, but didn’t beat the game. Which means he somehow knew about Cyber Sub-Zero even though you need to beat the game to unlock him. He stole footage there didn’t he?

One big surprise is Sonic Generations with four trophies. He managed to beat both Green Hill and Chemical Plant stages, and then just gave up. Why did you feel the need to steal footage then? You’ve shown you don’t care about barely having any, so why this? It also shows you didn’t even reach the boss, meaning your complaint about being unable to skip cut scenes is an even bigger, fatter lie!
Transformers: Fall of Cybertron only has one trophy, beating the first chapter. My informant noticed in the review that he was in levels beyond that, but the trophy stats say otherwise. More stolen footage?
Resident Evil 6 only has three, but that’s not a surprise since that was a “same-day review with no script”. He did mention Dead Island in that review, and it’s on the list. With zero. Didn’t even get far enough for one measly trophy.
Disney Infinity only has one, so he clearly didn’t give that one a chance.
Tales of Zesteria has nothing. HOW? I’ve barely played the game (short attention span and all that) and I managed to get two in that short time. How did you get zero? Did you just put the game in the console and say “good enough”? More stolen footage? It would explain how he mistook Alisha for Ashley… actually no that still doesn’t!
Star Wars Battlefront at two. It’s so clear he does not care about video games, at least not ones made for older audiences, and by older I mean older than eight.

There are some surprises on here. He played both the first and the third LittleBigPlanet. The third has zero trophies.
He played inFamous and got three.
Duke Nukem Forever, yeah didn’t expect that. Only two though, didn’t even bother picking up the poo.
He actually did play DuckTales Remastered. Surprised at no review. Same with Lego Batman 3.
The newest game on the list is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan. I would say he doesn’t come close to understanding the intricacies of PlatinumGames, but this was one of the lesser titles so I’ll let that one slide. However, there’s no trophies. You get one of the tutorial, some how he didn’t do that. What the hell?

The majority of these games are PS3. The only PS4 ones are Battlefront and TMNT. Goes to show how little he cares about games, he really just wants to do toys but even that he fails. Well, not in the eyes of the stupid brats that think he’s “soo kewwwwl” *barf*.
I wonder if we can find his XBL Gamertag, or his Steam account, or his Nintendo ID (though I don’t know if we can find what games he’s played through that, and no trophy/achievement system means we can’t tell how far he got).

Please do not harass Chris on his PSN account. You can point and laugh, but do not directly message him with crap.

You think he’ll ever post anything on the Irate Gamer again? Or is this going to be a Puppet Steve future? If that’s the case, it would be wise to inform the IG fans. I know you don’t want them, but if you want to grow, this is one major step. That and improving your writing and not resorting to pandering garbage. … Except I think the pandering garbage is working, at least with FNAF. At least try to make something that isn’t insulting. Something parents would enjoy watching along with their kids. That’s the best kind of entertainment. Not “well they like it so I’ll force myself to like it”. That’s the garbage that gets forgotten.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Sorry for the lack of updates

I know it's been a couple weeks since I've posted something, and I know that Chris has been going full HAM on the Puppet Steve channel. I've just been busy, life gets in the way.

I'll try to find time to watch more Puppet Steve since Chris isn't posting anything over on Irate Gamer. In fact, he's erasing. Soooooo many videos are gone now, down to 299 on the channel. Hopefully things have been archived. What are you trying to hide Chris?

Also, to "Linda", I'm deleting all your comments because you're an annoying pest. Nobody here cares what you think. Go to InfoWars if you want to word vomit all your retarded tinfoil nonsense.