Tuesday, November 29, 2016

End of November Update

Sooo... how are you guys holding up? You doing alright?

Things have been quiet on Irate Ga- I mean "CB Network" front. Nothing has been posted since his Toledo Airport "ghost hunt" on Halloween. He's been surprisingly active on Facebook, posting awful political image macros that show his dependence on fake news (which has now become a real problem). As well as an edit of Excitebike's box art with Pee-wee Herman as he goes "HUR HUR ONLY 80'S KIDS WILL GET THIS". Fuck you Chris, it's bad enough when people do that "only 90's kids will get this" garbage, we don't need you doing it with the 80's! Also, Pee-wee's Big Adventure is not an obscure movie.

Puppet Steve on the other hand has been very active.
More FNAF, more Peppa Pig that he won't disclose is a brand deal, a Lego Star Wars video where he misspells Rogue One in the title and STILL HASN'T FIXED IT! The entire video is nothing but "ME BLOW THINGS UP ME FUNNY".
He actually did another Minecraft video. A video on the new Trolls movie (well, the toys related to it). The Lego Dimensions Fantastic Beasts Story Pack, but only the set. I think after we exposed his PSN account he's too scared to do more gameplay videos. Either that or he's lazy.
A video on Muppet toys which I imagine are old since the Muppets are essentially a dead franchise now (Most Wanted bombed, new TV show cancelled).

He does do an amiibo video... kind of. I want you to read this fucking video title. "Thanksgiving Christmas exclusive Boo Amiibo Skylanders jingle bell choppy mage chicken lego Unboxing"
What in the name of word salad word vomit is this garbage?
The video itself has him claim the Boo amiibo is Halloween related. It's not. It came out along the other six figures in Super Mario Wave 2. I think he wanted to talk about the Christmas themed Jingle Bell Chompy Mage Skylander but felt that wasn't enough content? I don't know, Chris' thought process is just baffling now.
He also makes some clear rookie mistakes involving Skylanders, like noting how his in-game apparance matches the toy. No shit. He also misspells the name in the title as "Choppy Mage" instead of Chompy. Looking it up, the Chompy Mage has been around since Giants, and the Chompy itself since the first game. Chris just seems to have trouble with the English language in general.
If you're wondering why Lego is mentioned, he wanted Lego Dimensions to do something Thanksgiving related and shows a mini-fig of a guy in a chicken suit unrelated to the game. Does Chris not understand that Dimensions relies entirely on licensed properties and holiday themed stuff would be difficult to do?

Speaking of Skylanders, reports are beginning to circulate that the series maybe done for. Imaginators sold poorly, the Netflix cartoon isn't getting many views, and they're having trouble moving the figures. This post on NeoGAF does a decent job explaining how it happened.
Basically, Activision got greedy. It happened with Guitar Hero, and it's likely going to happen with Skylanders.  This only leaves Lego Dimensions to carry the Toys-to-Life mantle (and amiibo but they're more a multi-purpose tool at the moment, unless Nintendo has a big game planned for Switch).
Looks like Chris lost a major source of income if this ends up true. Granted, he can probably whore himself out to more and more FNAF and Jazwares crap.

Think we'll get something of substance in December? We will see.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

We Might Truly Be at The End of Irate Gamer

This is the way the Irate Gamer ends. Not with a grand finale, but a sad ghostly whimper.

Chris has gone through some major changes in the last couple days. Along with more videos getting deleted (he's now under 200, so much for that big celebratory video which is probably gone too), he's dropped the Irate Gamer name. His channel is now "CB Network" (pfft, network). His avatar is the one he uses on one of his Facebook pages where half his face is in shadow and he's trying to be "spooky".

The channel comes with a new description that surprisingly lacks ego.
"Chris Bores Network coming at you with a wide variety of shows: Interviews, Ghost Hunts, The Irate Gamer Show, Irate the 80's, and History of Video Games."
Interviews huh? More generic questions that have no substance?
Maybe those last three are mentioned in the same way TV networks mention repeats? Because I don't think he's coming back, at least not now.

He's started advertising his Season 5 DVD, and is claiming this is the final season.  Yeah, an entire season of bashing classic games, that's how he decides to go out. Considering Duck Hunt was the last episode produced, his show literally ends with a joke that's been done a million times, one that he's even done himself in the early days. You're really screwing over what few fans you have left if that's how you end the show. They want real closure, they want a finale, or at least a video answering questions. One that's not full of bullshit like your "Opening Up" video.
Oh and so much for "I might do Kickstarter". Yeah nice job giving false hope to your fans. That will really help you when your next project fails to take off.

This also leads into his site being changed. theirategamer.com now redirects to a revamped chrisbores.com. On there, IG is nothing more than a mention, he's all about how amazing his ghost hunting is and how he's the expert and blah blah blah ghosts are still bullshit. Love that he's still flaunting his Hardcore Pawn appearance even though the show is dead and his episode never even aired (if the story was true anyway).

What's interesting is that Chris put a new Featured Channel on the IG side. Minecraft Puppet Steve. Looks like Chris is done pretending he has nothing to do with it. I'm guessing Guru Larry exposing him made him realize he can't hide forever, no matter how many Facebook comments he deletes. Yet somehow my many posts didn't get your ass in gear. I know you read this Chris!

Is IG truly truly truly done? Hard to say, Chris has a bad habit of crawling back to it. Like when he said Season 4 was the end, but then came Season 5 when nobody wanted his ghost crap.
Sure, Minecraft Puppet Steve is doing decently right now, but Chris has a very big problem that I don't often bring up because it's not as noticeable in the short term. Chris is incapable of growth.
As Guru Larry has pointed out to me multiple times, Chris' subscriber count stagnated hard. In the last five something years, he's only gained 20k subscribers. That is depressing for someone that puts out regular content. Chris' ego made him believe that he was doing something right all along, and thus he never tried changing the Irate Gamer. If he did, it was barely noticeable. The storyline of Season 4? Same shit as before but with extra scenes and "characters". Season 5? Bashing classic games instead of legit bad ones because he's incapable of proper criticism.
A lot of people came to his channel for his History of Video Games series (I don't know why but okay), and from May 2009 to December 2015, he only got up to the Intellivision. The rare updates contributed to the stagnation.
Fans requested games all the time for IG Neo, and he very rarely took them. They wanted to see Minecraft, he never delivered. What he did deliver was often half-baked and clearly unfinished. This lead to more people leaving and less people subbing.

Chris did try to do different things in 2015. That's what it was all about. A weekly schedule of three videos, then two videos, then whenever he felt like it. See, the dwindling output is another reason you stagnated. The only time you explained things was when you went from 3 to 2, after that you didn't tell your fans anything. Your lack of communication is yet another reason. Your fans know nothing! They chomp at the bit for info about upcoming videos, but you stay silent. You pretend they aren't yelling at you.
You tried Let's Plays, but you never listened to criticism. In fact, when people pointed out moments in the Punch-Out LP where there was clear cheating, you deleted them. Hiding from the truth was never the answer. Not in 2007, not now.
You tried this new style of "crazy" review, and people HATED it. You did seem to wise up as you only did a couple more, but you were so in love with this idea that you made an entirely separate channel where you do nothing but "crazy". When those kids grow up, they're going to see what a hack you were. Just like all the kids that grew up watching Irate Gamer. More stagnation! Kids didn't want you, they wanted Let's Plays, they wanted games they know about. They don't want retro, they don't know what the NES is. They don't care about the toys you collected when you were a kid.

And yet in all these new ideas you were trying to showcase in 2015, you never tried the simplest one. Networking with other channels, having crossovers, trying to be more of a presence on the site. Sure you had a very bad reputation, but what you could have done is be honest and ask for forgiv-... wait, that kind of happened with the Opening Up video. Sure most of it was bullshit, but a lot of people believed you. Yet, when you went back into doing Irate Gamer, you made the same mistakes. Starting with DuckTales, you bashed a classic game and told the same style of jokes that made people dislike you in the first place. Then Kid Icarus, bashed a classic and told the same style of jokes. You had a golden opportunity, a chance to improve, but you went back to the same broken tools that failed you years ago. Another reason your channel stopped growing.

You tried to push your paranormal projects, but most of your channel doesn't care about that. They came for video games, and instead you show them boring night vision videos where nothing happens. Why you didn't just make a separate channel for these vid- oh right, you did. Y2B2006. My point still stands though, your fans didn't want to see this. Your big theater night from 2013? We know it was a bust, we know there was only like 20 people that showed up.
Oh and asking for positive reviews of your book on Facebook? That is the ultimate smell of desperation. You know how I know your claim that it was spammed with negative reviews was a big fat lie? The major gaps in review dates. An anonymous Amazon Customer posted a 1-star review on January 24th 2016. Someone called Truth of the 12's posted a 4-star on August 17th. A fan of yours named Michael posted a 5-star review on October 29th, the very same day you made that post crying about the negative reviews. By the way, your ploy for pity didn't work, he was the only one to give a phony positive review. In fact, the latest review posted on Halloween (also from a guy named Michael) is a 1-star review calling out your begging. We're not stupid Chris, despite what you want to think.

Do you think Puppet Steve can save you? You're making the same mistakes. Remember when you got a bunch of views from Skylanders content, and then you spammed Skylanders constantly, and all your fans left in droves? Oh hey, another reason for stagnation. You're doing the same thing, only with Five Nights at Freddy's. You got a bunch of views on FNAF content, and now you're spamming FNAF content constantly, even doing a video on a toy that was just announced. You're going to lose fans this way, they'll get tired of all the FNAF. Then again, there are bunch of channels that are nothing but Minecraft and they manage to retain an audience. But Minecraft does have a multitude of possibilities. Chris is fairly limited with what he can do with Puppet Steve, especially when every video looks and sounds the same. It's more formulaic than an episode of House.
Not to mention you're doing paid promotions without warning people that they're paid promotions! I know you're not doing Peppa Pig videos because you care for that series, I know Jazwares is following you on Twitter, why do you have to be so dishonest even in these videos for dumb kids?

Chris, for once in your life, be honest. Don't beat around the bush, don't make up stories, don't pretend to your mother and scream at people about how they're evil Clinton supporters just for disagreeing with you.
By the way, someone posted the comment "she" left on Guru Larry's video onto Chris' Facebook, and he played dumb about it, asking "what does that have to do with anything?" Come on Chris, we all know you're pretending to be mommy dearest, stop denying it.
I think you'll realize that being honest with everyone will get you some fans back.

So what does this mean for this blog? Well, if Chris posts something of interest, like a playthrough on Puppet Steve, or the sudden return of IG when he gets desperate, I'll be there. I'll also clean the spam when it happens.

What I really want to see is someone interview him, and not a fluffy late-night talk show interview, I mean a Brian Ross investigative interview that gives us answers. If not from him, then someone close. Maybe someone from GotGame that knew him? Maybe someone that worked with him? I want to get in contact with Eric Allen but I can't seem to message him on his channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/eallen001
Answers would be nice.