Monday, January 16, 2017

Puppet Steve "Highlights" January 1-15

The “CB Network” is dead again. Seems Chris isn’t getting paid to look at shitty products right now.
What about your Christmas ghost hunt? Have a video about that or did nothing happen like EVERY GHOST HUNT EVER?
His Facebook pages are dead too, nothing since a Merry Christmas message. Which he ends with “Game On”. So are you abandoning the Irate Gamer or not?! You can’t keep using terminology if you want to end it!

Soooo realizing this, here’s the highlights of all the Puppet Steve videos posted this year (so far). 7 videos, I imagine they’re mostly the same.
I wanted this get this out in the last couple days but time got away from me. Sorry about that.

GhostBusters Diamond Select Toys Action Figures Series 1 & 2 Movie Unboxing (Ray, Peter, Egon

- Surprisingly the first video of the year wasn’t FNAF related, but it is Chris’ other obsession. Someone really needs to tell him that he’ll never be a Ghostbuster.
- Did he forget to hit Shift+0 at the end there?
- There’s a contest to win a Phantom Foxy plushie. Even in non-FNAF videos, there’s FNAF.
- I see Winston on the table, why is he not in the title? Why does everybody screw over Winston?
- “After taking the figure out of the packaging, we have a totally awesome looking figure” Nearly 10 years, and he still has a redundancy problem.
- Oh wow, he’s actually talking about the detail of the figure… and he ruins it by pretending to get shocked by the Proton Pack.
- He points out the different hands. If these are anything like the SH Figurarts produced by Bandai, then it’s likely these are used for stop-motion purposes. As in real stop-motion, not the lazy stop-motion Chris does.
- Notices Winston comes with a Ghost Trap, prompting an awful scene with his Boo amiibo.
- “You gotta love old Egon, cause he’s such an egghead. A-heh-heh.” *scene transition* “Wow, gotta love old Egon” HOLY SHIT! NOT EVEN FIVE SECONDS!
- “Glasses and all” Why wouldn’t he come with glasses?
- “Time to hunt some ghosts down in style” You would loooove that Chris, because it would validate all your wasted time and money.
- “This better form into something cool” That’s the point, all the steps that come with each figure form into something. A lot of action figure lines do this.
- Stupid Enderman bit where he gets Dana Barrett
- He tries to put together the rooftop pieces, and gets nothing because he only has five out of 15 pieces, which he acknowledged earlier. Fucking dumb.

Playmobil Carrying Case Barbeque Camping, Soccer Building kit Toy Unboxing Puppet Steve

- Playmobil? Seriously? Who gives a shit about that?
- Same contest
- Stupid voices… stupid cutaways…
- God I forgot how annoying he was…
- The “Puppet Magic” shit is still stupid and makes no sense.
- At least Zombie Steve still calls out his awful jokes.
- Steve calls it the best picnic ever, and the little girl figure (voiced by his step-daughter) says the same thing, and he goes “I just said that!” Chris you are not allowed to make fun of redundancy.
- And of course it ends with Zombie Steve eating the toys. He goes downright Cookie Monster on them.

Five Nights at Freddy's FnaF Pint Sized Heroes FUNKO Foxy Toy Mystery mini's Blind Bag Unboxing

- We got FNAF, that didn’t take long.
- He shows the checklist and mentions “exclusive figures”. You should probably mention they’re Gamestop exclusive since your fans likely can’t read the tiny text, or read at all.
- Apparently Foxy is Zombie Steve’s favorite because he’s a pirate. Whatever…
- And since it’s the Gamestop exclusive Foxy, Zombie Steve passes out over it. This is so dumb…
- Steve whining about duplicates…
- He gets Chica. “We don’t have him yet” ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU STILL THINK CHICA’S A BOY?! How many of these damn videos have you done? Hell, one of the top rated comments is telling him “Chica’s a girl”. Are you being retarded on purpose Chris? Because that’s not funny.
- Gets a different Foxy and a stupid stop-motion bit happens. Then Zombie Steve puts on an eye patch. His intelligence seems to differ video to video, why is that Chris?
- He gets the Puppet, and Steve says he’s his favorite because they’re both puppets. You would not say that if you ever played FNAF 2, keeping that little bastard asleep while up to 10 different animatronics are trying to kill you is annoying. Especially on the harder difficulties. Again, implying Chris knows anything when it’s clear he doesn’t.
- He spazzes out when the last package is another duplicate. That’s not funny or endearing, it’s worrying.
- He thinks Golden Freddy is rare because he’s not on the checklist. Pretty sure since he comes with every box, he isn’t included. Then again, Foxy comes with the box and he’s in the packaging and on the checklist too. I don’t know, maybe Funko was too busy making more stupid deals to notice.

The Grossery Gang Mushy Slushie Corny Chips S1 Chunky Crunch Shopkins Unboxing Puppet Steve

… Hang on *searches Grossery Gang*. It’s basically Shopkins but the food is gross, like all spoiled or covered in slime. Continuing the idea that boy’s toys are just girl’s toys given a different coat of paint. I thought we got past “boys like gross stuff” in the mid-2000’s?
- New contest, kids could get the FNAF figures from the last video.
- Oh hey, Puppet Alex. Will it be a cameo or a full review?
- Oh, essentially a side-role as Steve shows her the Grossery Gang
- Chris how much money are you spending on this shit?
- Shows a spoiled TV Dinner figure. “I don’t want to eat that, I’ll get sick! A-heh-heh” … That’s the point Chris.
- One of the toys looks like the She-slime from Dragon Quest.
- Puppet Alex seems almost self-aware. I wonder how much input in the “scripts” she has.
- These things are reminding me of Crazy Bones. Remember those?
- He got a bunch of “bugs in ice cubes” figures, and pulls the “bug in ice cube” prank on Puppet Alex and laughs when she sees them. Such a great step-dad. Then Zombie Steve eats the toys…
- He’s just listing now…
- And another video that ends with Zombie Steve eating toys. I don’t think Chris understands how zombies work. They’re flesh-eaters, not extreme omnivores.

My Little Pony MLP Golden Oak Library Playset w/ Zecora, Twilight Sparkle Unboxing Puppet Steve

- This sounds more like a full Puppet Alex video.
- I have to wonder if Steve wrote the “script” since Alex doesn’t know the name of Twilight’s owl (Owlowiscious).
- Most of the video is just Alex bringing up something, Steve interrupting, and Alex yelling at him. This seems less funny and more dysfunctional.
- At one point Alex does the “look at camera and sigh” thing Steve does. … I’m starting to dislike Alex.
- Okay yeah, Chris wrote this. That sounds nothing like Zecora, and apparently she acts as Twilight’s teacher.
- And Zecora makes Steve disappear. Shouldn’t it be Twilight?

Five Nights at Freddy's FnaF NECA Scalers & Light Up Glow in the Dark Unboxing

- More FNAF…
- These are the dumbest toys.
- “To open these up, we’re going to need some scissors! Snip snip snip snip snip snip”  I WILL BURN YOUR TOY COLLECTION!
- “The cool thing about these headphones is that you can hook them up to any electronic device and listen to music” … That’s what headphones are, jackass.
- He tells Zombie Steve that he has no ears. … Neither do you.
- God Zombie Steve is annoying now. Well, more than before.
- So essentially this is stuff you hang on your headphones. … Why?
- Zombie Steve is afraid of the dark? That’s idiotic!
- Hold on, using a FNAF character as a night light? That goes against the idea of FNAF, that they’re scarier in the dark.

Five Nights at Freddy's Fnaf Pop Funko Figures Set Action Figures Unboxing Review

- More fucking FNAF!
- Oh no, Funko Pop. Because this channel wasn’t cancerous enough already.
- “they’re actually kind of cuddly” … No
- … He just said Freddy is the main character of the series, like this is the first FNAF video he’s ever done. He’s made 35. Fuck you.
- So the Nightmare Freddy figure flies out of the box by accident. He calls it a “Puppet Explosion” and shows it in slow-mo with a “Puppet Replay”. Chris, inserting words into everything isn’t a joke! You’ve been doing that before YouTube was even a thing! Cut it out!
- More stupid stop-motion…
- More annoying Zombie Steve…
- “She’s even got a little bib there” THEY REACHED HIM! He finally called Chica a girl! Miracles can happen!
- Really dumb bit where Chica gets angry over the lack of cupcake. I mean wow how is this entertaining?
- Ending on another awful bit.

I will never understand how kids find this entertaining. Even if I was the audience I would think this was stupid.

There is one other thing to bring up.
Silent Spring brought to my attention a recent review for Ghost Hunting 2.0 on Amazon.
Written by Jeaninne Slattery, she gave it 1-star claiming that she’s been scammed. Chris offered a free DVD and after a year and a half, she still hasn’t received it. I do recall Chris offering free DVDs if you purchase his book (can’t remember when or where). Sounds like Chris wasn’t able to keep his end of the bargain. I doubt it’s stock issues either, we all know nobody is buying Chris’ DVDs outside of a tiny minority.

You have an explanation for this Chris? Or are we going to add “scam artist” to your list of crimes?

See you at the end of the month (or February) for more “highlights”.

47 comments:

  1. I wish Bores would go back to Irategamer. This new format doesn't seem to be cutting it for him, and it shows.

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  2. Hey, are you still debating if you're done or not? Just curious is all. Like you said, Chris really has no content and everything on his Puppet channel is almost the same thing. Isn't covering this going to end up like last time becoming a chore and basically covering the same thing over and over again? I know you gave up on his site back in 2013 due to similar issues. I personally don't care for his Puppet content and with every video being basically the same, there's no point for me to even watch it. I just ignore it and if Chris wants to be an idiot and play with puppets and toys just let him.

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  3. Still not certain who the audience for Puppet Steve is. You'd think it was for kids, but I'm really not sure. If it is, all I can say is that they deserve better.

    Toy collectors would more than likely roll their eyes at the crippled attempts at jokes, so you can scratch them off the list, too.

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    1. At this point, i really don't care about Puppet Bores. It's the same shit over and over again. Enjoy it while it lasts, Bores.

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    2. I do agree with you, but they'll get older and move on. You can only do the same thing over and over again for so long until people get sick of it.

      Puppet Steve really isn't a toy channel, it's basically a comedy channel according to his Socialblade. If Chris was a competent toy reviewer, he'd probably get more attention, but since he doesn't care and only does it for money, he'll be ignored by the toy community like he was for the gaming community.

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    3. I know this is nitpicky, and maybe I am just a misanthropic miscreant, but I hate how every hobby or whatever is called a "community" these days.

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  4. After watching some Puppet Steve videos , and then watching some Pixel Dan, it's clear that the difference is night and day. In fact, saying that is an understatement. Pixel Dan's videos can appeal to both collector's and kids, but Puppet Steve doesn't. All we get is "Hey kids hear me talk about how cool this toy is now here's Zombie Steve eating it because that joke is totes funny! XD"

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  5. What's with Bores' Facebook profile picture?

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    1. Maybe he's doing one of those grrr, i'm irate moments and thought it made for a great profile picture and just slapped it on his FB profile?

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  6. So, it seems the first wave of preorders for the Switch have sold out following the reveal on the 12th. I do not know how this will reflect on the console in the long term; but I am definitely interested to see where this goes. The games that interest me most include the new Zelda, 1-2-Switch (most likely, it will probably be the console's Wii Sports/Nintendo Land to show what it can do in one game), Super Mario Odyssey, Splatoon 2 (practicing for it on my copy of the original game) and the new Shin Megami Tensei. I can at least say that now I'm definitely planning on picking one up in 2018 (which will be within the first year of its lifespan). Also, my PS4 is on its way; planning on picking up some more games tomorrow and see about preordering Breath of the Wild (most places are thankfully still accepting ones for the Wii U version).

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    1. Well, with everything I've seen, I think I'm going to pass on the Switch myself and just invest in my PS4 till I upgrade to the Pro later this year. Personally, I think the system is overpriced, the accessories are overpriced and look fragile as hell, paying for the online and apps, the lack of any decent launch titles besides Breath of the Wild (I already have Skylanders Imginators for PS4, not much of a Bomberman fan, 1-2 Switch looks like Wii Sports and no one cares about motion controls anymore, and Just Dance isn't my thing), weak hardware (AGAIN), poor third party support, the handheld part not being practical to me. I will admit Super Mario Odyssey and Splatoon 2 interest me, but it's not enough for me to invest in this console and it's basically the Wii III. The motion control games 1-2 Switch and Arms will likely be flops and nobody cares for those games again. The casual gamers moved on to the tablets and smart phones and Nintendo needs to stop with these gimmicks! The third party support is arguably worse than the Wii U (there was no COD Infinite Warfare and Battlefield 1, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a five year old game that just about everyone has played, the same for Minecraft, Dragonball XV 2, and Rayman Legends, got Sonic Mania and FIFA). Note: I'm NOT calling for the system to be doom and gloom, but it's setting itself up for failure like this! For anyone who doesn't know, the Wii sold on the gimmick of motion controls and the casual crowd that bought it played it for Wii Sports for a couple of weeks and then never touched the console again allowing it to collect dust. Heck, this system has even less internal storage than the PS3 and that console's almost eleven years old. If the Switch fails, it's all over for Nintendo and they'll become the next Sega, which I'm not against them doing.

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    2. I'm interested in what the Switch can bring to the table as well, but also a bit skeptical about it at the same time and have some gripes with the system as a whole.
      First off, the $300 price tag, while not too expensive for the average consumer, could definitely seem like a bad deal for some people, especially considering the low specs and overall power of the system compared to the base models of both the Playstation 4 and Xbox One. The low battery life of the Switch when it's in handheld mode (roughly 2-6 hours according to Nintendo) is pretty pitiful and may deter some potential buyers from checking it out. Speaking of which, a Youtube user called Haedox brought up in a video recently how Nintendo completely failed to bring up or even mention during the January 12 presentation how the Switch can be used both at home AND on the go. You would think this is a big selling point for the system, but Nintendo didn't say anything about it in favor of talking about high-definition rumble and motion controls for games like 1-2-Switch and ARMS (the latter two which, along with Snipperclips, are not even being bundled with the Switch at launch like Wii Sports and Nintendo Land were for the Wii and Wii U, respectively).
      Another thing that concerns me is the accessories and how expensive each of them are. $70 for a Pro Controller? $80 for a pair of Joy-Cons? I don't know if these prices are merely placeholders at this point or not, but they seem like safe assumptions given the technology inside of these devices.
      Thirdly, I find it disappointing how Nintendo is, for the first time, charging consumers to play games online. While services are free initially, there will be a mandatory subscription service starting in Fall 2017 if you want to play games online, like Splatoon 2. Many people agree this is an anti-consumer practice and are not fond of it as a result (some people even called out Sony for it when the Playstation 4 had paid online when its predecessor didn't). While it's not a deal breaker, I think it will definitely make people think twice about whether or not certain games are worth the subscription price just to play online. (Not to mention, I think it's ridiculous how Nintendo, as a subscription bonus, allows people to get 1 free NES or SNES game per month, but then take it away once the month is over.)
      Finally, the Switch (like the Wii U) only has an internal storage space of 32GB, which is an unacceptable storage capacity in this day and age. If Nintendo has a whole bunch of third-party companies on board for the Switch, there's no way they'll be able to fit their huge games onto the system with such a meager storage space alone. While SD cards with a higher storage capacity are an option, that's more money people are going to have to shell out just to play games on the Switch.
      Overall, the Switch is not a bad system from a first impressions viewpoint, but it definitely has a lot of flaws to it. While I hope Nintendo succeeds with the Switch, I cannot help but feel nervous about it and wonder how things will go once the system finally launches on March 3.

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    3. While I detest Haedox for reasons I don't want to bring up, I do agree with him in his video. The battery life is pathetic on this system, but also the fact that it lacks backwards compatibility of any kind (I excepted it wouldn't be with the Wii U due to it using optical media, but I was surprised about it having no backwards compatibility with the 3DS). Also, any casual gamers that want to play on this probably are going to pass on it because of the price, lack of games, expensive accessories, paid online and pay to play will make the casual gamers run for the hills and stick to their tablets and smartphones. Not to mention, with that internal storage and SD cards, all triple A games will likely never come onto the Switch and we'll just get dance games, sports games, Nintendo games, licensed games, party games, causal games, and straight up shovelware. This system will likely never run something like Overwatch and we might not see stuff like Mortal Kombat, COD, Assassins Creed, Gears of War, Metal Gear Solid, Kingdom Hearts, etc. The Switch might already be dead in the water.

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    4. I think I'll wait for a price drop; when I heard it had paid online, that's when I really started questioning their business decisions!
      -_-

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    5. Actually the paid online thing makes sense. Reggie said they're gonna have proper online multiplayer this time, and it's understandably expensive.

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  7. OT: Regular Show just ended. I already miss it so much, the finale made me cry.

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    1. I know how you feel. It was six years of greatness and one of my favorite cartoons to watch. I'm going to miss Adventure Time when it ends next year.

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  8. Puppet Steve showed figures of Minecraft animals in his latest video, continuing to show how little he actually knows about Minecraft.

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  9. I see Bores still sucks.

    Hey, I happen to like Playmobil sets. ;P
    I even used to collect them a few years ago before getting married.

    Anyway. I went to look at the Playmobil video, I wish I hadn't, it sucks and it's painful to watch.

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  10. Where's Mike Mozart when we need him? He made the best toy reviews. His reviews of the obscure Barbie dolls were hilarious and I love how he did a review of the McDonald's playset. I always wanted that as a kid but wondered if it was any good.

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  11. He should call all his paranormal stuff GhostTalkers and use the GB logo, but leave out the line through the ghost and have put a microphone in its hand

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  12. Also, I remember when Trolls were really popular back in the early 90s. They were mainly for girls, but they created a line for boys called Battle Trolls, which were pretty cool.

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    1. I remember having one of those, they were pretty badass :)

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    2. I had the Nunchuck Troll and the Sargeant Troll from series 1. Apparently it really kicked off and they had a ton of them.

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  13. Still plotting it out. Thus far we have:

    + A wizard, a knight, and the knight's eight students only doing half the job of defeating Seth... merely sealing him away for 1,000 years for the real hero to finish the job.

    + A mute protagonist.

    + A ridiculously rare item drop that signifies that he is the Chosen One (of course, it's only from that particular Green Slime and you get it every time you start a new file).

    + A fetch quest for a sadistic bureaucrat for access to the king's castle... Which gets cut short by the tedium of it all and you resort to a battle, which forces him to authorize you.

    + A blocked tunnel, which forces you to take an underground path that used to be the main way to Codadad Desert before a safer way was made.

    + A town terrified of an Amazonian tribe living in the desert, but it's really because they can't fathom people like them even existing... so they make up sensational stories about these people because they hate them.

    + A town up in arms over a little boy getting lost in the game's first dungeon. He somehow makes it past all the rats, bats, and slimes without a scratch and has to stand in the corner for the rest of the game after you save him.

    + A 99-of-one-item cap.

    + People who can't move freely or say anything new.

    + A magic weapon created after the earlier heroes' half-assed job for you to finish it with.

    + A guy called Kain.


    (Still trying to come up with stuff...)

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    1. Is Kain going to shoot Seth in the head and say something about how quickly power shifts?

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    2. Thus far he's this garden-variety brooding "oh-so-serious" swordsman you fight an unwinnable fight with. After he beats you, you regain consciousness in a bed at the inn at the nearest town. Kain tells you to go home because the world has more dangerous monsters than Green Slimes.

      I picked that for his name because it's such a common one for the genre and by making him this stick-in-the-mud guy, I'd be killing two birds with one stone!

      (Yes, I got a little further in the plot)

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    3. This is for a video game you're designing?

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    4. Potentially... if I can replace my computer (it's ancient).

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    5. Do you at least have the minimum req for RPG Maker?

      You could start off with smaller projects, and use those to crowdfund the full-size one.

      OS: WindowsR 7/8/8.1/10 (32bit/64bit)
      Processor: Intel Core2 Duo or better
      Memory: 2 GB RAM
      Graphics: DirectX 9/OpenGL 4.1 capable GPU
      Storage: 1 GB available space
      Additional Notes: 1280x768 or better Display

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    6. No, I have the money for a new one, it's just features, cost, and memory that's priority.

      I want to have Windows, with MS Word and stuff, but I get a bit concerned about expenses. For example, I could go to Wal-Mart and get one, but from what I've heard, it would have nothing on it if I were to boot it up.

      Before you ask, no.
      I'm not going to pull a Blob and beg you for one!

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    7. We'll, a while back Wal-Mart was selling some cheap-ass Linux boxes. I think they stopped because so many customers who have no concept of what an operating system is we're complaining when they couldn't install any software they bought on it.

      That was about 10 years ago. Nowadays I think they exclusively sell machines with Windows pre-installed.

      As for MS word, i think it's sold separately, but there are alternatives. Back when I was a PC user I used OpenOffice.org, a free alternative to MS office.

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    8. I got MS Office for free through my college.

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  14. It would be cool if you could rig up a chip tune version of Danzig's "Twist Of Cain" for when Kain is on screen

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  15. What's with all those word salad titles? They are so random they make no sense at all. Why not something with less words and better structure, that makes more sense and make the title more legible? Something like this:

    Puppet Steve is unboxing: Golden Oak Library Playset from My Little Pony

    Puppet Steve is unboxing: Carrying Case Barbeque Camping and Soccer Building kit Toy from Playmobile.

    Not the best examples, but still way better than his titles.

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  16. If this is truly the end of Irate Gamer, and the birth of Steve/Box Wars/Ghosthunting/ShillingSucks, maybe Batdan should do a behind the scenes look parody type post, maybe say something like a particular sentence in one of your posts took you 6 hours and lots of listening to Blood, Sweats, & Tears albums to write, for example. Think The Simpsons Behind the Laughter episode mixed with the whole Bores experience, but in blog form.

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    1. Personally, like me and some others, it would be right to end this blog if Bores is truly done with IG, Gary Sargent. BatDan's covered just about everything wrong with Bores and IG and with nothing but ghosts/shilling and Puppet Steve, there's really no content left, and he's even said doing Puppet Steve kind of a chore, and is nowhere near as fun as doing IG, and just about every Puppet Steve video is the same thing over and over again. I know some want a Worst IG Moments of All Time List done and that would be something nice to do to end things off here, but that's BatDan's decision. Puppet Steve is just boring and formulaic and I personally just ignore it.

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    2. I would be willing to do the leg work for a worst moments of all time list and all BatDan would have to do is just post.

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  17. OT: Remember playing Final Fantasy 9? Did it feel like watching a Disney movie? I'm surprised Disney never made a movie based on Final Fantasy 9, especially since they worked with Square to make Kingdom Hearts. Then again, sometimes Disney does things that don't make sense. Like how come they don't and never have had a TRON attraction at Epcot? That would have made more sense to have than rides like Mission Space or even the now defunct Body Wars. Better yet, how come Disney replaced Captain EO/Honey I Shrunk The Audience with a Pixar Shorts 3D attraction? I mean, it's ok, but this is the sort of thing that should be at Hollywood Studios or MAYBE Magic Kingdom; not Future World at Epcot. I could go on...

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    1. Like why is the Voyage of the Little Mermaid show still around? Do you know how outdated this show is? Better yet - The Little Mermaid ride could have been WAY better. This isn't a ride that was made when the park opened in the 70s; this was made a few years ago, so I expect a little more than just a slow moving ride with animatronics. Even Peter Pan's Flight, a ride that opened with the park, is done better.

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. Puppet Steve: A show for anyone who wanted an IG spin-off starring Ronnie the Skeleton.

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  21. There is a chance you are eligible for a free $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.

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  22. It would be cool if you could rig up a chip tune version of Danzig's "Twist Of Cain" for when Kain is on screen
    goldenslot
    บาคาร่า online

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