Thursday, September 21, 2017

Chris Reappears to Talk About Himself I Mean Skylanders & Toys R Us

Soooo it seems Chris is active on Facebook again, as my informant has pointed out. His latest post is about how Seth McFarlane's The Orville is better than the Star Trek reboot movies. Calling it "ShitTrek" (what is this, Pissed Off Video Gamer?). Even though the article he linked is talking about the new TV show (Star Trek Discovery). Doesn't matter anyway because The Orville is terrible and I imagine Discovery will be terrible too.

Buuut that's not what I want to talk about. A couple days ago he posted a little rant that was so utterly dumb that I had to reappear to talk about it.
For context, toy store chain Toys R Us has declared bankruptcy. This isn't really a surprise as they were not only overpriced, but handily beaten by Amazon (like the majority of retail stores these days).
Chris felt the need to give his thoughts about this.

"I know the company had been struggling for years and what really pulled their butts out of the fire was skylanders which made them billions."

What? Skylanders was not saving Toys R Us. Are you daft? Toys R Us has been dying for years. Just because you had good luck there doesn't mean THEY were having good luck.

"Now that skylanders died out, the money problems are back. And its a shame too. Activision really killed that franchise."

Actually I've heard rumors that they're simply taking a break this year and they'll be back. But even if that's just a rumor, don't be surprised Chris. This is Activision, they'll slaughter what doesn't work. Just look at Guitar Hero and Tony Hawk.
And again, Skylanders did not save Toys R Us. You realize there's a lot of other places that sold Skylanders right? Amazon of course, but also Target, Best Buy, Gamestop. I know TRU had some exclusive stuff but that's clearly not enough to get people to buy everything. Especially if they priced them like they priced amiibo (TRU amiibo was always a dollar more than every other place).

"The first skylanders game an awesome kids dungeon crawler game. And with every new installment, they pulled further away from that concept with stuff I just hated encountering."

Oh god this shit again. Chris, I've told you before. A game has to change things up every installment to avoid getting stagnant. Even games criticized for their redundancy change things up a little (Call of Duty, FIFA, Madden, Pokemon). If Skylanders was the same dungeon crawler game every year, it would have died out after the third. I get it Chris, you loved the first, but things change. I say that to Pokemon GenWunners too, things change, it's not always going to be the same, grow up you whiny little baby.

Oh and since it's obvious you don't get this, that's not the reason the game failed. Skylanders didn't fail because it changed things up. It failed because it got expensive. Every year you had to buy a new game, which ran more than $60 because you needed at least one figure for it, and then you had to buy all new toys. Every year they had a new gimmick in order to make you spend more. The Giants were bigger and more expensive, the Swap Force had a special swapping gimmick that made them more expensive, Trap Team had traps that you had to buy separately, Superchargers had the cars that made things even more expensive, and with Imaginators there's these Creation Crystals which I imagine add to the cost.
Even if you were well off with money to spare, this shit adds up. Not only in cost but in space, so much plastic lying around. Chris, how do you even walk around your house with all that crap you buy for Puppet Steve?
If you're curious how bad things got, check this site: Prices aren't listed, but the sheer quantity alone should make one second guess this franchise's viability.

"I guess my critisms fell on deaf ears."

Yes, he spelled "criticisms" wrong. He's also a deluded fool if thinks anything he said would have mattered. Nobody at Activision was listening to you Chris. Not as long as you kept on buying every new toy like a good little sheep. If you're so angry Chris, maybe make a video about it? Oh right, not enough FNAF.

In the comments, he mentioned that he hated Superchargers cause of the "mini-games". I haven't played it but are they really bad? Also, he said in his review he thought the game was okay, but now he hated it? At least when terrible sites like IGN and Kotaku say they hate a game they praised years ago, they have the excuse of "It was a different writer and they're no longer with the company". Chris doesn't have that excuse! Then again, Chris clearly doesn't care about consistency, or the truth.

So yeah, that's about it. Irate Gamer is still dead, and Puppet Steve is still boring samey garbage. He did actually post a gameplay video of Bendy and the Ink Machine. Some crappy horror game that parodies 1930's cartoons and involves Satan or something. It's not really a kids game but they still like it. Chris was of course months late to this bandwagon (I found playthroughs dating back to February 2017). He only played the first chapter (it's an episodic game with two chapters out) and instead of playing more, he's just talking about bootleg plushies. ... I don't get why he makes videos about bootleg crap, is he trying to warn parents? Newsflash Chris, they're not the ones watching, stupid kids are watching.
Otherwise, just a lot of boring samey garbage.... again I ask, where is he storing all this?