Saturday, March 31, 2018

Bores Returns with FMV Garbage (and boring)

That was quick.

Seems Chris has already posted his first review for his comeback. A 10 minute (hoo boy) look at Sewer Shark. At least it’s actually a bad game, and I’m surprised it’s not an NES title.
Oh wait, it turns out that he’s not the Irate Gamer anymore. He’s actually… Chris Neo. Yeah seems that name change on Twitter actually had a point. It’s the Chris Neo Show. That is just dumb! Do you think you’re in the Matrix or something?

Let’s look at the description. Seems the hiatus was due to raising a family and “etcetera”. Not going to mention the puppets?
“Rebooted for 2018, the new flagship show of the channel, Chris Neo is a little bit of old with a little bit of new. Hope you enjoy. the show taking over this channel fro now on.” Yeah I can’t imagine it will be any different. Nice typo.
Below that he still has that moronic “Parapper the Rapper free” slogan, and below that is him saying “this is the Irate Gamer channel”. I thought this was Chris Tube now? Impressive, even with your big comeback, you’re still lazy as fuck.

Let’s begin.

0:00 - 0:21: We open on Bores fake-playing while wearing those stupid neon glasses, then notices us. “HEY GAMERS” Why did that sound so forced?
He explains that the show has “rebranded” and it will be “old mixed with new”. So I imagine it will just be old and new games. Not much different then?

0:21 - 0:30: We get our intro for the Chris Tube channel. A decently animated space shoot-em-up sequence. Doesn’t really tell us anything but okay.

0:31 - 1:09: Oh wow, he actually calls himself “Chris Neo”. He‘s still Bores (in more ways than one).
He says he’s going to look at something on Sega CD because he neglected it. “I have never reviewed one game for that system” SERIOUSLY? Not even a minute in and you got something wrong. You looked at Mighty Morphin Power Rangers on Sega CD. You know, the shitty FMV rhythm game? It was big finale to your terrible storyline! This is going to be a long video.
He notes how Sega CD owners couldn’t escape this game because it was bundled with the system. Technically true but it wasn’t until later. As Wikipedia puts it “Sewer Shark is one of the first titles for the Sega CD and one of its best-selling games, leading Sega to eventually bundle it with Sega CD units.” Keyword being eventually.
He puts the game in and then lowers his glasses as he starts. Ditch the glasses, seriously.

1:10 - 4:20: “The super cool start-up screen” Oh nooo he’s bringing over his Puppet Steve mannerisms! Hide the toys!
“Boy that takes me back” There it is, the old “I’m totally a gamer guys” pandering. Been wanting to dust that one off huh Chris?
He expresses surprise at seeing “A Hasbro Production” and how it’s “been so long that he forgot”. Not going to mention why? The game was in development for a VHS console called the Control-Vision, but Hasbro cancelled it so Tom Zito and his company Digital Pictures made it a Sega CD game.

“That’s the iconic opener” … There is nothing “iconic” about Sewer Shark. It is not a game most people remember fondly. You should look up what iconic means.
He goes on about how “ground-breaking it was” and it’s likely the reason they packaged it. Also it technically isn’t the first game to have live-action FMVs, the Action Max from 1987, while a VCR console, had them first. Plus, Sewer Shark launched alongside Night Trap and two of those Make My Video games. Sega probably decided on Sewer Shark to bundle because it wasn’t controversial and it at least had gameplay (not good but it had it).
Then a lot of nothing happens… Chris makes a couple comments but just lets the intro play.
“You’ve gotta love this intro” Do I? Because it’s really fucking cheesy, and not in a good way.
“It has all that 1980’s campiness to it” Oh yeah, all that 80’s camp. Perfectly shown on the game’s release date of October 15th 1992!
Okay the footage was produced in 1987, and it would have been nice if Chris pointed out the reason why it took five years to come out *points up to the Hasbro comment*

Then Chris out of nowhere states that Ghost (the commanding officer that talks to you) reminds him of “the grandson from Mama’s Family”, and then shows a bit from that show’s theme song to compare. Oh yeah because your young fans are going to know what Mama’s Family is. Does that even play on TV or stream on Netflix or Hulu? The most young people know about that show is from a joke on The Simpsons.

Ghost gives him his nickname of Dog Meat, and Chris claims he’s been called worse. Huh, no lies detected in that one.
More intro… Catfish (the weird orb with googly eyes) shows up, Chris claims that he was brought in to appeal to kids. I don’t think this game appeals to anyone.
“Hey it worked, because I was a kid when I played this game” No you weren’t you liar! You only just played this.

4:21 - 6:28: FINALLY he gets to the game part of the game, and he tries to be self-aware and note that it took four minutes to get here. Being self-aware doesn’t change the fact this video is poorly paced.
He compares the game to Captain EO and Star Wars. Barely. Granted, at least there’s a tie to Star Wars here, the game’s effects were directed by John Dykstra, one of the founders of ILM and the lead effects director of the first Star Wars.
He goes over control, how you need to follow the arrows on top of the screen. His delivery is really awkward, more than normal. “Miss too many of them and you’ll becomes *beat* SEWER PASTE *pause* splattered on the wall” Did you do this in one take?

More explanation. Probably from a manual he found online.
Comments that the backgrounds are like a Hanna-Barbara cartoon. How many times has he done this comparison?
Then randomly edits in Huckleberry Hound. REFERENCES! Do kids even know who that is?
More explanation… not much to say.

6:29 - 8:34: He gets to a part where he wants to pause. Wanting to address a pink door.
It’s a barrier that indicates if you’re doing well. He wasn’t so he dies.
“Aw fucknuts” Uh oh, here comes the demonetization police.
Claims there’s no lives or continues (trying to confirm but I can’t find that info myself). I know there’s a code to have continues but that’s not accessible until your rank goes up.
He gets through the door, reaching the first cutscene with Robert Costanzo’s Stenchler. We get such riveting commentary from Chris like “Look at him eat, getting fat”. So poignant.

“Now the further you get in the game, of course, the difficulty increases” It’s almost like it’s a video game. Seriously Chris? 11 years and you’re still addressing that?
He complains that the arrows no longer show up, and you can only advance through hints, as shown with a cutscene with Falco telling you “12, 3, 12”. I looked in the game’s manual and the numbers indicate directions like a clock. 12 means going up, 9 means left, 6 means down, and 3 means right. Meaning you go up, right and up. Chris complains because he has to write it down and he can’t find a pencil.
Eventually he dies at a pink door, and notes this was as far as he could get. Then why is there still time in the video?

8:34 - 10:08: And now it’s time for “Footage taken from someone else’s channel without giving any credit at all!” What fun! It looks really terrible too.
He summarizes the end of the game. Claiming they murder the boss. Uhh not really, they just put him in an inner tube and roll him into the ocean. You do know what “deep six” means right?
Takes the game out, says it’s “super hard but super nostalgic” (stop), and that he has more to talk about for another video because it will get “long in the tooth”. Longer than 10 minutes? Oh please no.
He gives his “Game On” and then the room darkens to only show his glasses. Ditch them. Seriously.

Well… it wasn’t really cringey. Just so damn boring. Could have taken that time to do some research instead of the RIVETING commentary you were providing. So is “boring” going to be the standard? More boring I mean?

That’s all for me. I’m going to watch Spoony’s video on this game, from back when he was actually good and not a dumpster fire.

108 comments:

  1. And we're back... just like old times.

    [RONNIE ENTERS WEARING THOSE GLASSES]

    RONNIE: Oh! Goodness gracious me! I'm back too, but I'm Ronnie Neo now, and that's different!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cousin Joey: Wow! These glasses are RAD!

      Delete
  2. If this is how this new series is going to be, I will not be reviving ICBIND. (Maybe an occasional one depending on the subject matter.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not going to mention how this video was clearly unscripted?

    5:42 "Hitting all those rats and bats and dodging all those...uh...crap eating fodder."

    7:00 Also, "No soup for you." Another reference his fans won't get.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there was definitely an air of unscripted to it. The whole thing felt awkward. Like he did it in an hour.

      Seinfeld still gets played on TV at least, and it's on Hulu. So it's not THAT obscure at least.

      Delete
    2. If they're funny, there's nothing wrong with sprinkling in references kids won't get the first time. Witness classic Looney Tunes.

      Delete
    3. The only problem with referencing classic properties is when you crowbar references in. That's always been his problem outside of just being awful, he thinks that references = comedy.

      Delete
    4. Film Brain: References are not JOKES

      Delete
  4. He mentioned the fact that you have to follow the arrows on top of the screen twice.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This could not have had less effort put into it. Not once does he crack a single joke - and I'm being charitable by referring to anything Bores has ever done as a 'joke'.
    No jokes, no script, no skits, no second-takes. Literally 'glance at a video game's wikipedia then play it for 10 minutes'. Awful. Not even so-bad-its-good entertaining.

    Also Chris doesn't know how clocks work.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Can someone tell me who that Harrod guy is?

    ReplyDelete
  7. This blog is STILL going? Daniel, if you devoted this much time to getting laid you wouldn't be a virgin anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So it's kinda just another Let's Play video. Meh, whatever........

    ReplyDelete
  9. James Rolfe said it best about this game 11 years ago-- "Shit Shark!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. This felt like James and Mike Monday’s except really boring and slow paced.

    ReplyDelete
  11. To be fair, this was a pretty bad game to review. It’s just the Space Mountain level from Adventures In The Magic Kingdom but with annoying cut scenes and video. AVGN had a two word review for it: Shit Shark.

    ReplyDelete
  12. is this real?

    https://i.imgur.com/q2lQkO1.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I'm afraid so. I'm afraid an internet reviewer nobody watches anymore shared an unconventional opinion."

      Delete
    2. @ Lorne

      Funny that you are willing to defend a person who mocks a survivor of a horrific school massacre.

      @ You Tubed

      And it's disgusting that this comment can still receive 17 likes.

      Delete
    3. The irony of it all is Chris is the same way, but he's too blinded to see it. Maybe fucking his cousin fucked him up, literally.

      Delete
    4. @ Sovereign64

      He didn't "mock" her to her face, he made a comment on the goddamn internet.

      Delete
    5. @ Lorne

      Yeah, a comment that makes him sound like an arrogant and disgusting jerk.

      Delete
    6. she wasn't his cousin, she was adopted not blood! so much for who makes disgusting suggestive comments mocking a girl. by posting that youtubed you just called Jennifer a whore and women involved in incest. you are an ignorant sick fool. see how you liberals project your wrongs on others. go back under your rock till you can act like a decent human being!

      Delete
    7. As a person that’s not a liberal and voted for Donald trump in the 2016 election, I can say that chris’s comment was fucked up. She has probably gone through one of the worst times of her life and the tragedy could’ve easily been avoided. She is pushing for safer gun control so that in the future no one like nikolas Cruz can go to a store and say “one gun please!”

      Delete
    8. You're the last person to talk about being decent, Christopher Bores. You're the same guy who said people on this very blog are equivalent to the Oregon shooter because of your asinine reasons. Man the fuck up.

      Delete
    9. actually she's pushing to take the guns away form law abiding citizens, decimating our second amendment. don't play dumb!

      Delete
    10. false youtubed. once again you use fake news to try to prove a point that doesn't exist. you're pretty bad at proving any points actually. and if i really was Chris Bores I'd be ignoring you entirely. but since I'm not Bores and never have been you're once again spreading fake news. you'd be an excellent ancore for CNN with all the false narratives you try to peddle! you'd think with age you'd have changed by now but you're still the same sad loser as before. It's hell being you~ :D

      Delete
    11. prince mario so no word on how f'd up youtube's comment was about Jennifer. how nice you avoid the obvious. just like a Bores hater! for shame on you!

      Delete
  13. I never understand the have no time line that YouTube creators always say. (He says it in the video comments). I mean I do a regular job, but I can’t say well I don’t have time for my job. If I stopped going I’d get fired. So how can someone who does YouTube full time say time is an issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For legit YT creators, time is like any other asset, and of course an issue. Do you expect them to work 24/7 since you don't consider it a "real" job? Legit YT's like say a Pat the NES Punk or Gaming Historian go to cons, create their content, and actually put in the work.

      Bores is lazy, cuts corners, and would rather have the easiest way to make money. He's the type who'd rather not work for anything but claim he's a hard worker.

      Delete
  14. Oh my God... this may actually be even worse than his old reviews. At least back during his "peak" he acted like he had SOME idea of what he was doing, but this is fuckin' bottom of the barrel in terms of effort. He kept on stuttering and messing up his lines, his jokes and references are even more painful, and like you said, it's ridiculously obvious that he just stole the ending's footage from someone else. (Either that or he used an emulator, either one is plausible with him.)

    My biggest gripe is that he blew more than a THIRD of the video just mindlessly talking over the entire intro, loading screen and all. Sometimes he wasn't even doing that much. A competent reviewer wouldn't have spent more than 30 seconds on that bullshit. I guarantee you that if you trimmed the fat from this video, it would be 3 minutes max. I didn't think Chris could lower the bar more than he already has, but fuck, he found a way.

    Keep 'em coming, BatDan, your coverage is the only good thing that can come from his new wave of bullshit now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tune in next time for his review of Night Trap

      Delete
  15. Is it wrong that I kind of miss the "quality" of his Aladdin and Cool Spot reviews? They were still stupid, but I could almost file those under "so bad it's good" territory, and it felt like something resembling effort went into them. Now it just seems like he's gotten really half-assed about the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what you fail to realize is that angry reviews are so out dated and for crying out loud Christopher isn't 19 anymore he is almost 40 with children, a wife and a job! time to grow up don't you think? Irate Gamer game reviews are a thing in the past, time to move on to new types of entertainment that doesn't involve past projects. Chris Neo is all about new ventures. you do know that Neo means "new" don't you? New means leaving the old behind and making a fresh start. think about it :D

      Delete
    2. BatDan should change the name of this blog to "Irate Gamer Sucks Neo", then you'll have no grounds to criticize it.

      Delete
    3. Almost 40, and he's still masquerading as his mother. Pathetic.

      Delete
  16. Irate Gamer is the worst April Fool's prank ever.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Someone count how many times he says "and of course" because it was a LOT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better yet, take a shot every time he says that.

      Delete
    2. I'm pretty sure most of you are way to young to drink alcohol :)~

      Delete
    3. And those of us who are not too young to drink alcohol have livers too damaged to drink anymore

      Delete
  18. Here's a list of grievances from Channel Awesome contributors about the site's inept management: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WZFkR__B3Mk9EYQglvislMUx9HWvWhOaBP820UBa4dA/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. take a look at CA's half assed response: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DZ0Oru6W0AIE5GD.jpg:large

      Delete
    2. I do commend the ex-contributors' efforts for writing this all down. But respectfully, at least I until I find time to read this further, I take it with a grain of salt. I'm sure there's truth to be found within their accounts, but how much I don't know. It's not easy to draw conclusions for myself when I've never met any of these people in person nor do I know them personally.



      Delete
    3. What I'm fairly certain of however, is that something fishy has been going down with CA, and has been for some time.

      Delete
    4. @Notorious Phantom - As the old saying goes, there are three sides to every story. Their side, the other side, and somewhere in the middle is the truth.

      That said, the sheer number of producers coming forward, the fact that nobody is refuting their claims and we have seen MULTIPLE instances of several producers leaving at the same time makes me give the producers the benefit of the doubt.

      Delete
    5. What, not even an apology? And they blame the victim? Sheesh! I wouldn't be surprised if they were fans of DSP!
      >.<#

      Delete
    6. I wonder if Mike Mauchad or whatever the hell his name is used to be a district manager at GameStop.

      Delete
    7. @Ixey The "apology" is literally CA saying they are sorry the producers feel that way.

      @MacDragard My understanding is Michaud worked at Circuit City.

      Delete
    8. I just read the document. I only have 1 word to describe that channel:

      Disgusting!

      Seriously, that upper management is nothing but disgusting! These people are all working their asses off for absolutely no pay and THIS is the thanks they get? Absolutely disgusting!

      After reading that, I can say that the Walkers lost my respect! These supposedly nice guys are actually big douchebags! Again, Channel Awful is being too nice!

      Basically, I will watch the Nostalgia Critic no more!
      ##>.<##

      Delete
    9. "Our focus now is on moving forward with the wonderful team we have and all our dedicated followers"

      Basically saying 'Yeah yeah, we know about the complains from our past producers, but screw it. We just want to forget about the past, move on and continue working with whatever people we have left on the site. And we're glad we still have many loyal followers after this whole ordeal.'

      Delete
    10. Also, you thought Chris’s response to Jew Wario’s suicide was bad...

      Delete
    11. Their second reply was even worse, and now it looks like have 4 producers total left on the site, and their last big name Brad is rumored to be going very soon.

      But now the crap about Jew Wario is coming out and.....whoa boy.....

      Delete
  19. I was actually looking forward to this. Haven't seen the video yet, but it kinda seems like the same old stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mama's Family does get shown daily on MeTV.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I wanted a nostalgic laugh so I went to look for Chris’s rant video over Hunger Games and how the cameramen filming didn’t know how to use a tripod, and how the YouTube image showed a nude Jennifer Lawrence and the words “THE SCANDAL” appeared in the title.

    Unfortunately he deleted that video.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have seen the PDF of the book. It's as clear as a mountain stream.

    It will be ready Saturday, but the softcover version will more than likely be released after the 11th.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool. Where're you releasing? I think you mentioned Amazon before.

      Delete
    2. On Blurb now, but I think you can get it through Amazon, too.

      I just hope it doesn't come off as THE DARK CHAPTERS or GHOST HUNTING 2.0. I've been going nuts trying to get it just right.

      Delete
  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  24. I wonder if Chris ever applied to be a part of Channel Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From my understanding, no, he didn't.
      Not surprising, either. The first time Bores probably heard of Channel Awesome was with the fake AVGN vs NC feud, where he was the butt of a joke against AVGN.

      Delete
    2. Speaking of the "feud", I can't believe it's been ten years since that first video in the series came out. "I have a bone to pick with one ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD!"

      Delete
  25. Glad he has come back, and he is still as shitty as ever. Can’t wait for you to talk shit about him. XD.

    ReplyDelete
  26. One thing I always wondered. Why was Irate Gamer the one AVGN knock-off who became extremely infamous? Weren't there a lot of crappie reviewers back in the day that had the exact same problems as IG? (terrible reviews, terrible jokes, terrible acting) Why was IG the one "reviewer" who became infamous? Is it because he's the only one who gained a fanbase and became a YouTube partner?

    I've seen Game Dude and I honestly think he's WAY worse than Chris has ever been. (at least in terms og game reviews)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. When I first saw him, it was clear that he was a wannabe avgn but at the same time I only thought he would have released four reviews at most before quitting and pass into obscurity.

      Delete
    2. I think it has to do with his interactions.

      When you accused Game Dude of ripping off AVGN, he'd respond with how big of a fan of AVGN he was, and maybe even claim that they were friends.

      When you accuse Bores of ripping off AVGN, he claims that AVGN ripped him off and tells you to shove a cactus up your ass, and blocks you. If you tell him that he got facts wrong on his video, he tells you he's right and the rest of the internet is wrong, then blocks you. When you take your opinions to a forum where he doesn't have the power to block you, he shows up in a sock puppet account accusing you of having psychological issues, being a devil worshipper, and being a potential mass murderer.

      "Delusional and creepy" vs "Delusional, creepy, close-minded, offensive, aggressive ", the latter is going to invite more ongoing criticism.

      Delete
    3. Partly because Chris got such a massive boost from YouTube executives at the time who didn't really understand video games. Most of the poor quality game reviewers stayed at the bottom of the pile but stock special effects and a bunch of stolen material gave Chris a substantial advantage.

      For better or for worse, Game Dude's relative success came about because of his own efforts.

      Delete
  27. As of this writing the Sewer Shark video has a bit over 8,500 views. A Puppet Steve video posted yesterday has over 77,000 views.

    Maybe the IG fans are not used to new videos from the IG/CB Network/Chris Tube channel but Chris Bore-ess is going to have to work very hard to make Chris Neo relevant.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I find it funny how only two weeks after I Hate Everything posted his review of Woody Woodpecker, Nostalgia Critic now does his own review of the same movie.

    I get the feeling that Channel Awesome must have saw IHE’s review and said “Wow! I didn’t know there was a Woody Woodpecker film! Hey Doug, now it’s your turn to do a review of it!”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doug is the new Irate Gamer

      Delete
    2. To be fair, NC and IHE have covered several of the same movies. Foodfight, The Room, Garbage Pail Kids, and The Last Airbender for example. IHE also reviewed the Oogieloves, which the Cinema Snob reviewed.

      Delete
    3. @ Silent Spring

      I know, but still, Nostalgia Critic's Woody Woodpecker review being only 2 weeks apart from IHE's review...really feels strange.

      Delete
    4. It’s also strange that this review...is very much like his classic reviews. No skits or any other bullshit at all! Well, except maybe the whole tuxedo ad thing, but is he finally going back to the classic style of reviewing?

      Delete
    5. He stopped doing editorial insyead he does skitless reviews one week skit review next week though skits in general been limited in videos

      Delete
    6. Thank God because the skits are terrible and made me want to watch NC less in the first place. I mean, having a 45 minute review where only 15 minutes is the actual review and the remaining 30 is Doug running around acting like a total jackass shouting “LOOK AT ME! I’M FUNNY!!” The worst of course is his sceneless reviews, worse of which was his Hocus Pocus review. After him prancing around dressed like Winifred Sanderson, I was like “Yeah whatever, get to the actual review”, but five minutes pass by with no footage; just Doug, Tamara and some other chick dressed as the Sanderson Sisters acting wacky while poorly trying to recreate scenes from the movie in a parody way, and I was like “they’re...not going to do an actual review are they?”

      Delete
  29. 16! SIXTEEN "supercools" in the newest Puppet Steve review, including four in the first 30 seconds and two that are a second apart. Plus a very telling "And even his helmet comes off, revealing just how s- creepy this zombie pig man is." To say nothing of the vanilla "cools" which may be just as many.

    The video is just under six minutes long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seven "cools" in today's 3:22 video - four of which are "super cools". Three "super cools by the 42 second mark.

      Delete
    2. Nine in 4:39 for the newest video... we're hovering around an average of one every 30 seconds. But the real gem is "and of course, this [Lego A-Wing fighter] comes in 358 pieces."

      Delete
  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, ignore the comment that I've deleted. It was a link to Channel Awesome's half-assed response to the past producers who have grievances with them but I realized You Tubed already posted the link before me. My bad.

      Delete
  31. Chris announced on FB that Sewer Shark part 2 is coming tomorrow. Wonder what else he can talk about, especially since he said he couldn't beat the game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't expect a post on that until Saturday or Sunday. Going to a convention.

      Delete
  32. Chris is going to be at a paranormal event this weekend at the Toledo Yacht Club. He is not listed as a guest speaker (and he would have bragged about it if he were.) I am guessing he is either going as a vendor or a participant. There is going to be a ghost hunt that night, I wonder who will be leading it?

    ReplyDelete

  33. Bores just claimed in his video released today that nobody put this easter egg online, even though I just found a youtube video from 7 years ago already covering it. Although he did provide some commentary, so there is that. After watching his videos from 2007 again, he has gotten better at expressing himself.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I went to watch the latest video from Chris Bore-ess and searched YouTube for "ChrisTube". Holy crap! There are a lot of channels with that name. I wonder if he chose such a widely used name on purpose?

    ReplyDelete
  35. There’s so many things wrong with this “update” video I don’t know where to begin.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well...Part 2 is up. Chris still loves his clickbait because he put "Satanic message?" in the title.

    ReplyDelete
  37. lmao...so 3 minutes = long in the tooth now?

    he could've added this to the original video.

    ReplyDelete
  38. "Sewer Shark is one of my favorite games on the Sega CD."

    Proof that he has horrible taste in games.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i remember when Sewer Shark came out. even then, gamers thought it was garbage. marketers kept trying to push FMV as this groundbreaking technology that’s change gaming forever, but nobody cared.

      Delete
    2. This is a horrible game I fondly remember playing

      Delete
    3. FMV in games is what 3-D is in movies: Well, all right, but the actual gameplay had better be good.

      Delete
    4. Several media reviewers thought Sewer Shark was awesome at the time.

      GamePro: "Sewer Shark is an awesome hybrid of hot shoot-em-up video game action and state-of-the-art CD graphics with an incredibly intense soundtrack and explosive sound effects. You'll be torn between wanting to sit back and watch the movie-like action and wanting to grab the controls and zip through the tubes to gun down sewer vermin. A perfect introduction to CD power gaming, Sewer Shark is a maneater!"

      Paul at Sega Force: "All in all, Sewer Shark gets my vote for Game of the Year. With loads of digitized scenes and loads of frantic action, it's an instant winner and yet another reason to buy a Mega-CD. It adds a whole new dimension to your Mega Drive and another 20 hours a week to your gameplaying time table. Buy it!"

      Martin Alessi of EGM: However, color aside, Sega has taken actual footage and made a spectacular playing game. The action literally flies by and really keeps a player on his toes. Very challenging and must be seen!"

      Ade at sega Force:
      SEGA FORCE #17
      91% out of 100%
      "Yep! For the first time in ages, folks, I'm totally gobsmacked! Sewer Shark is absolutely awesome! It's a superb combination of shoot-'em-up action and stunning CD graphics. I'll tell you now, you'll be so impressed with Sewer Shark. This is yet another game to convince me that Mega-CD's the machine to buy. Superb!"

      Delete
    5. Sounds like the initial reviews of Grand Theft Auto IV. Lauded and praised on release, now it's seen as just kind of "okay".

      Anyway, the post will be up tomorrow. Back from Chicago and I don't feel like dealing with Chris' crap right now

      Delete
    6. @Edge
      i really think that was just part of marketing. lots of games had dishonest reviews written for them.
      gamers saw it as a joke.

      Delete
  39. And now, something that will make the concepts behind THE DARK CHAPTERS sound decent...

    www.blurb.com/b/8642672-the-marvelous-kimmy

    ReplyDelete
  40. If you go to Chris's Opening Up video, he claims he's never watched Channel Awesome before.

    Really? Not even the Linkara IG parody?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or seen Linkara in general seeing how he clearly stole the idea of a story arc from him

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    2. I always thought he was parodying Linkara’s parody in his Power Rangers SNES review

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