Saturday, September 29, 2018

The End of the Mario Glitch Road. Why Did This Take So Long?

Lo and behold, after over three months, Chris finally uploaded the last video in his stupid Mario Game Genie series. A series nobody asked for, and probably would have been better if he looked at something other than Super Mario Bros.
So why did this take so long? Chris claimed that he was on "summer hiatus" for his family. Few things. Chris, you're not a mainstream TV show, you don't get the luxury of summer hiatuses. The only reason we know you were on hiatus was someone asking about it in the COMMENTS of your latest video. If you were going to go on break, make a video about it or something. Don't leave people in the dark, otherwise people will jump ship (again). Also, using you family as an excuse is wearing thin since we know you're posting bundles and bundles of Puppet Steve videos. Stop pretending you're not Puppet Steve.

So let's see why this last video took around a month to make. At least going by his comments on Facebook.

Intro intro intro...
When the camera cuts to him, his name pops up at the bottom. Only it's "Chris Neo". That just seems half-assed, that your "new character" is just yourself with a different last name. It would be like calling myself "Daniel Morpheus"
Chris makes sure to emphasize that this code is slightly different. Woo?
World P. A cloud level that you swim in. Also has enemies. At least he says Koopa Troopas correctly for once. The world loops.
"I don't have time for this garbage" I have more fucking Bendy and FNAF toys to throw in front of my camera!
World Q. It's World 2-2 but it's colored differently and you can swim through it bypassing the Cheep-Cheeps. Chris calls it neon and compares it to his stupid glasses. Ugh. He also claims the new colors and swimming make it a new level. NO IT DOESN'T! It's just 2-2 but a little different! Come on!
He shows World Q-2, but it's just that same underwater level from previous videos.
World R.  It's World 3-1. Only if you die, you don't start at a proper checkpoint. Zzzz...
World S. It's World 8-1. Could have cut this out
World T. A cloud level with the clouds taking up 2/3rds of the screen. Various enemies appear too. But it can't be complete due to a pipe on the way. "I've got a princess to save!" Stop
World U. It's World G. Again, could have cut this out.
World V. Another repeat level. This video does not have to be 7 minutes long.
World W. It freezes. Well at least it wasn't a repeat so that's worth showing. ... I guess
New code. First is World _. Yeah. It's another repeat. The rest of the combinations lead to nothing new. For some reason he starts playing Dwelling of Doom from Simon's Quest (when you travel through the mansions). How random.
Another new code. Now for World X. It's the World 8 castle.
World Y. It's World G again. Seriously so much to cut. Then a dumb joke where he "doesn't give it the dignity of finishing the level" and tells him to die from the timer running out. Are you trying to be tough?
World Z! Unfortunately there's still two minutes. It's the same level. Pointless!
The rest of the combinations don't bring much new. A return to Minus World, more levels from the game and past codes. Then... oh god we're back to these. The last one suddenly transports Mario into The Legend of Zelda. Are you fucking kidding me? We're back to these lame jokes? I thought you "rebooted" Irate Gamer to avoid those jokes? You don't know what you want.

He notes how the code is basically the same through only changing parts of the third line. Continues calling them "hidden" (they're not) and that he "stumbled across this" (you didn't, this has been known for years!)
Finally it's over!

Again, what was the point of this series? To show how Game Genie screws with a game? Yeah, we all know that. We all know that there's dangers of using a cheating device.
You can tell that his viewers are casual as fuck because so many of them are surprised by this or convinced that these are hidden. This is why they need to watch someone with actual knowledge and information, not a huckster that clearly doesn't know better.

I don't know what's going to happen with Chris Neo at this point. Hopefully not another series that doesn't take four months to finish even though it could have been done in one video. No seriously, why wasn't this one video?

Over on Puppet Steve, the same old shit. More FNAF, more Bendy, lots of cereal, more Cuphead. He's been trying to cash in on Baldi's Basics, the latest spoopy game that spazzy YouTubers overreact to for views, but this shit is terrible even by the standards of those games. Have our standards gotten so low?

Chris is also trying to push more ghost shit. Claims he had another breakthrough. Look just because you had an extra large dump in the toilet compared to the last one, doesn't mean you had a breakthrough. ... What? His musings on ghosts may as well be compared to defecation.

He just posted on Facebook that he got Mega Man 11. It's more likely he got a demo. Can't wait for him to review the box on Puppet Steve. The game? Fuck that, the box is the real deal! Just like the Avengers Infinity War box. The movie? Naaah I need that box!

And that's it for me. See you whenever.