Saturday, September 29, 2018

The End of the Mario Glitch Road. Why Did This Take So Long?

Lo and behold, after over three months, Chris finally uploaded the last video in his stupid Mario Game Genie series. A series nobody asked for, and probably would have been better if he looked at something other than Super Mario Bros.
So why did this take so long? Chris claimed that he was on "summer hiatus" for his family. Few things. Chris, you're not a mainstream TV show, you don't get the luxury of summer hiatuses. The only reason we know you were on hiatus was someone asking about it in the COMMENTS of your latest video. If you were going to go on break, make a video about it or something. Don't leave people in the dark, otherwise people will jump ship (again). Also, using you family as an excuse is wearing thin since we know you're posting bundles and bundles of Puppet Steve videos. Stop pretending you're not Puppet Steve.

So let's see why this last video took around a month to make. At least going by his comments on Facebook.

Intro intro intro...
When the camera cuts to him, his name pops up at the bottom. Only it's "Chris Neo". That just seems half-assed, that your "new character" is just yourself with a different last name. It would be like calling myself "Daniel Morpheus"
Chris makes sure to emphasize that this code is slightly different. Woo?
World P. A cloud level that you swim in. Also has enemies. At least he says Koopa Troopas correctly for once. The world loops.
"I don't have time for this garbage" I have more fucking Bendy and FNAF toys to throw in front of my camera!
World Q. It's World 2-2 but it's colored differently and you can swim through it bypassing the Cheep-Cheeps. Chris calls it neon and compares it to his stupid glasses. Ugh. He also claims the new colors and swimming make it a new level. NO IT DOESN'T! It's just 2-2 but a little different! Come on!
He shows World Q-2, but it's just that same underwater level from previous videos.
World R.  It's World 3-1. Only if you die, you don't start at a proper checkpoint. Zzzz...
World S. It's World 8-1. Could have cut this out
World T. A cloud level with the clouds taking up 2/3rds of the screen. Various enemies appear too. But it can't be complete due to a pipe on the way. "I've got a princess to save!" Stop
World U. It's World G. Again, could have cut this out.
World V. Another repeat level. This video does not have to be 7 minutes long.
World W. It freezes. Well at least it wasn't a repeat so that's worth showing. ... I guess
New code. First is World _. Yeah. It's another repeat. The rest of the combinations lead to nothing new. For some reason he starts playing Dwelling of Doom from Simon's Quest (when you travel through the mansions). How random.
Another new code. Now for World X. It's the World 8 castle.
World Y. It's World G again. Seriously so much to cut. Then a dumb joke where he "doesn't give it the dignity of finishing the level" and tells him to die from the timer running out. Are you trying to be tough?
World Z! Unfortunately there's still two minutes. It's the same level. Pointless!
The rest of the combinations don't bring much new. A return to Minus World, more levels from the game and past codes. Then... oh god we're back to these. The last one suddenly transports Mario into The Legend of Zelda. Are you fucking kidding me? We're back to these lame jokes? I thought you "rebooted" Irate Gamer to avoid those jokes? You don't know what you want.

He notes how the code is basically the same through only changing parts of the third line. Continues calling them "hidden" (they're not) and that he "stumbled across this" (you didn't, this has been known for years!)
Finally it's over!

Again, what was the point of this series? To show how Game Genie screws with a game? Yeah, we all know that. We all know that there's dangers of using a cheating device.
You can tell that his viewers are casual as fuck because so many of them are surprised by this or convinced that these are hidden. This is why they need to watch someone with actual knowledge and information, not a huckster that clearly doesn't know better.

I don't know what's going to happen with Chris Neo at this point. Hopefully not another series that doesn't take four months to finish even though it could have been done in one video. No seriously, why wasn't this one video?

Over on Puppet Steve, the same old shit. More FNAF, more Bendy, lots of cereal, more Cuphead. He's been trying to cash in on Baldi's Basics, the latest spoopy game that spazzy YouTubers overreact to for views, but this shit is terrible even by the standards of those games. Have our standards gotten so low?

Chris is also trying to push more ghost shit. Claims he had another breakthrough. Look just because you had an extra large dump in the toilet compared to the last one, doesn't mean you had a breakthrough. ... What? His musings on ghosts may as well be compared to defecation.

He just posted on Facebook that he got Mega Man 11. It's more likely he got a demo. Can't wait for him to review the box on Puppet Steve. The game? Fuck that, the box is the real deal! Just like the Avengers Infinity War box. The movie? Naaah I need that box!

And that's it for me. See you whenever.

57 comments:

  1. I think it’s funny how Chris criticizes a lot of these levels for being repetitive, yet he himself makes Puppet Steve videos that are the same formulaic “very cool” garbage all the time. Hooray for double standards!

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  2. Man this guy sure rages a lot, can tell by his use of foul language.

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  3. The video itself was nothing to really comment on. I'm wondering though if Chris will go back to review Metroid and Legend of Zelda to complete his round of games featured in Captain N and also give us that Superman NES review he promised.

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  4. I wonder: Why would you compare a Resident Evil game to a JRPG?

    I was thinking about something a pair of proto-Bores did. In hindsight it doesn't make a lot of sense, it's like apples and oranges. Especially when you complain about one having retro-looking graphics of one versus the gritty darkness of the other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I mean, there IS Sweet Home on the Famicom, which Resident Evil started development as a remake of before Capcom realized they no longer had the rights for it...

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    2. Funny as it is, there actually "is" a Resident Evil-esque JRPG called Koudelka for the PS1. Pretty neato game, really. It's a hidden prequel to Shadow Hearts.

      Complicated development, that game.

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    3. No, I mean comparing completed games. Nothing about development history.

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  5. what the hell is spoopy? i thought it said snoopy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spoopy means something is both "funny" and "spooky".

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    2. I always thought it meant both "funny" and "shitty".

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    3. I meant "spooky" and "shitty"

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    4. I was thinking of sloopy as in Hang On Sloopy

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    5. After seeing my nephew play baldi I'm gonna have to go with Shitty and Sad.

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  6. Never heard of Baldi's Basics. Why is it bad?

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    Replies
    1. It was made as a parody of all those crappy horror games people let's play made as part of some kind of game jam that ended up becoming really popular.

      Isn't it funny how something made as a parody flies over people's heads and ends up becoming the thing it was criticizing?

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    2. It's a parody? Wow... that explains a lot.
      And even then people took it seriously. It really does feel like satire is dead.

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    3. The game was a parody of horror games? How?

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  7. The Mega Man 11 review is out; longtime fans of the series will be pleased to learn that it features good old Torch Man, good old Block Man, good old Impact Man, good old Blast man and good old Fuse Man.

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    Replies
    1. This is what Bores said on Facebook:

      === Finally got my hands on Megaman 11! Wow. I am just blown away by the ingeniuty of this one. The power ups this time around are awesome. But the Bounce Man zone is going to drive you insane, haha. Dare I say this may be the best installment yet?? Unfortunately I'm embargoed to say anything else but launches Oct 2nd. ===

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    2. Yeah bull crap. This is coming from the guy who had to use game genie cheats to beat the first installment.

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    3. I doubt Chris even knows what PR company Capcom uses for handing out review copies. For the record, I know which company it is because I applied for a review key. I have the email addresses for the people who hand out those keys and I am registered with the media site Capcom uses. I'd be shocked if Chris knows any of that. By the way, Chris, the review embargo for Mega Man 11 lifted on October 1st. If he had a review copy then where is his review?

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    4. oh tldw but a puppet steve lets play? what little i watched totally came off as non offensive IG Neo.

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    5. Well, damn. I stand corrected.

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    6. The game was already spoiled by the time he posted. Playthroughs posted all over YouTube.

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    7. Anywho, I’m not sure if I’ll ever play the game since I don’t really play video games anymore and don’t own any newer consoles. I don’t know how the controls are but they look pretty solid. That’s the thing that I hated about Megaman 7 & 8 - Stiff controls among other things.

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    8. Pay very careful attention: He still hasn't learned to accept challenge, seeing as he's playing on Newcomer Mode!
      -_-

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  8. Chris should just be honest and stop hidding. If he's too busy with Puppet Steve, then let it out. When will he stop being a sellout?

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  9. Dear Lord, Puppet Steve was featured in a 1up Arcade Cabinet commercial on YouTube.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Sounds like according to the comments these are cheap ass knockoffs that fall apart easily.

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    3. Rerez gave a mostly-positive review of the Street Fighter cabinet. Though what's maybe more notable, to anyone who's watched a lot of Bores reviews, is that he gave it a thorough, detailed, real review that carefully assessed the pluses and minuses of the product with lots of supplemental information that's really helpful to anyone considering a purchase.

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    4. The video is unavailable, Harrod.

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    5. Looks like they deleted it for whatever reason. It only featured a few seconds of Puppet Steve's review; no new footage or anything.

      Delete
  10. Hey Chris, watch AVGN's new video with Tomb Raider to see how it's possible to be a legend and not have your paint fainted.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey guys, remember when Guru Larry talks about GameLife in his Fact Hunt episode 'The Untold Rise and Fall Stories of 3 Youtube Gaming Channels'?

    Here is a video containing more details and information about that show and what led to their demise.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0uWTKomkaY

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  12. IMO, I believe we’re in the midst of another video game crash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can assure that the video games industry will not crash. It is simply too diverse and spread across so many types of devices. The so-called Crash of '83 was about consoles and was constrained to North America. These days we have so many game makers all over the world and it is so easy to get into game development. People play games on so many devices - even ones that were not intended for games like phones and tablets.

      At worst we will see market contractions here and there but the industry itself will move on.

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    2. Companies will shut down, but there won't be a massive crash.

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    3. There may be a shift for sure. I know retail video game outlets will soon become extinct with GameStop losing sales every year and other outlets that usually sell video games like toys r us going under. Arcades are all but dead - the only ones standing are usually empty and they have nothing but racing and shooter games. With video games getting longer and longer and filled with more and more content while at the same time there’s just so much ADHD going around more than ever, it’s hard for gaming companies to come out with something new and innovative. VR is the next logical step but that technology is still years away from maturing.

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    4. We have certainly been running out of places to purchase new physical copies of video games. When I was a kid you could buy new NES games at Sears, Toys R Us and even drug stores like Longs and Walgreens. There were also plenty of independent game shops. Nowadays the list of places that sell new physical games is much smaller. The death of arcades is due to advancements in technology. We have experiences at home that are on par with arcades - the movie theaters are suffering now for the same reason.

      I doubt VR will ever be the mainstream future of games. It will be around, sure, but any tech that requires you to wear a headset and block your vision of the real world will never be the norm.

      I think the future of video games lies with smaller AA titles anchored by a relatively smaller number of expensive AAA experiences.

      But rest assured, there will always be video games.

      Delete
  13. What would Chris Bores reviewing the Touhou series be like?

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    Replies
    1. If it's not him perving out, it's him complaining that the games are too hard and that it makes him "fustrated".
      -_-

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  14. Bores is losing more views with each new video.

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    1. I personally would have liked to have seen Chris do more movie reviews. I was hoping one of these days he’d get around to reviewing Wicker Man.

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    2. On Chris Neo he is indeed losing viewers but the traffic there is so minimal that the numbers are tiny. Puppet Steve is actually enjoying healthy growth.

      I wonder what the future of Chris Neo might be. His latest video is over a week old now and has less than 6,000 views... against over 157k subscribers.

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    3. He already did Wicker Man it was the worst movie he ever saw lol

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  15. There is actually a small youtube channel called killgruz that almost exclusively did Super Mario Bros. Game Genie code videos. How much you wanna bet Chris saw those videos?

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  16. new video, shilling for those shitty arcade cabinets/recycling Puppet Steve content:

    Arcade 1up Video Game Retro Cabinet Review & Exclusive Series 2 NEWS! Asteroids /Tempest

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  17. Holy....
    Chris really? First of that Was some awful editing, na whatever You take always Your first takes. Sorry what was the word, vektor graphics, couldnt You go over this vid before You uploaded it. What about the three green circles after the TMNT talking?
    And for god sake, if You are talking to the camera at least Look into the camera for 75% of the time.
    And ... How can You suck at Asteroids?

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    Replies
    1. “YouTube influencers like myself” I type a lot of jokes on this blog, but I swear to God I had to play that back because it sounded like “two-bit losers like myself.”

      Lifelong fan of Tempest- lost a life on the circle level after months of owning the thing. Does not appear to know about the superzapper.

      10 minute mark… the circles Michael mentioned. WTF?!

      Does not know the word Trak-ball.

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    2. Didn’t they test this shitty video before they released it?

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