Intro: He doesn’t use that tedious “Important Aspect” intro (by the way that intro looked exactly like a special about video games that CNBC did a couple years ago), instead he jumps into the later games.
0:24 – 0:32: “These rifles are very expensive and hard to find, you’d have to sell your soul just to get one” *Devil Bores enters* Oh my God could you be anymore forced if you tried? I could see the cue cards he was reading off of. Even Full House didn’t pull off contrived crap like this and I hate that show.
0:33 – 0:51: Devil Bores prepares to make a deal but IG already has one and he just leaves… just because you can do Big Lipped Alligator Moments doesn’t mean you should.
0:53: Stop staring at the camera.
1:15 – 1:21: “This light gun reacts to other lights, what a shitwaffle” okay he didn’t say shitwaffle but it’s powered by a light on the TV screen of course it will work with other sources you hack.
1:32: Really Bores? Those are the bullseyes? I never would have figured it out unless you used the green circles to point out the obvious!
1:48 – 2:26: IG starts playing the Western Shooter, he parodies The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly and does some horrible close-ups of his face. When the light’s show up he changes the music to “action-packed” and shoots all of them. Adding music and “intense” camera angles will not make your videos anymore exciting.
2:28 – 3:10: He starts playing the airplane game but for some reason calls them Nazis (even though Nazis didn’t fly bi-planes… nor did anyone else in World War II), then he tries to be “cool”, dresses up as… something, and “intensely” shoots down the planes to Ride of the Valkyries (at least a remix of it), then shoots the dot above his head (lame effect).
Wait, what is he referencing here? Is it Apocalypse Now, which doesn’t make sense since that was a
3:11 – 3:40: He reviews the Carnival game but says it sucks because they don’t move. Hey Chris, there’s a simple concept called Imagination it makes video games a lot more fun. Hell it made the AVGN’s Odyssey review 100 times better even if it was full of toilet humor (I liked the Popsicle joke…).
3:41 – 3:50: He notes that controlling the targets gets very boring, very fast. Uhhh don’t you have HAL doing that? Oh that’s right you make these videos by yourself, that’s why the Cat & Mouse game looked so jerky in the first video, you moved each controller one at a time. Thanks to BahamutSeven for pointing this out.
Bores starts up the sketch part of the review (that was completely unnecessary considering this is a history lesson and unrelated plotlines have nothing to do with it) by attempting to turn the Odyssey off. However HAL doesn’t like this and electrocutes him when he tries to remove the game. HAL (continuing to sound like Bores after taking tranquilizers, the ones he used to end the pain of his girlfriend leaving him *cough* excuse me) tells him he can’t do that and starts hitting him with the Odyssey Rifle (that’s the best you can do Bores? Have one of the greatest movie villains hit you with a plastic toy?)
Did he just make HAL say “bring it bitch?” Stanley Kubrick is rolling in his grave now…
So IG stops the evil computer by… turning off the evil computer. Wow, how anti-climatic and unsatisfying. Like the movie HAL sings Daisy Bell (which doesn’t make sense in this context since in the movie that song was taught the day HAL became operational).
IG notes the Odyssey sold poorly due to the misleading advertising and high price… nooo I think it sold poorly because it was new and nobody knew what to do with it. It was the first video game console that was still a foreign concept back in the 70s. Besides, I doubt people were that stupid in the 70s to think certain products only worked on certain appliances.
“A few weeks before the Odyssey’s release Nolan Bushnell released Pong, and that’s next” Except the Odyssey came out May 1972 and Atari Inc. was founded June 1972. Again, why review Pong? It’s fucking Pong it’s not an obscure title.
So like every other review he’s done this was horrible and shit rolled into one. Stanley Kubrick has risen from the grave, gone to dig up Arthur C. Clarke, and the two of them will go beat the crap out of Bores.
If anything good came out of this he says in the description the next History of Video Games (or HOV as he so kindly abbreviates, kind of looks like a rejected War Games computer) will be out after he does a “few reviews.” Considering how long it takes for him to do a video I guess we’ll see the Pong review in *looks at watch* April 2011.
Until next time, stay frosty people.