Thursday, April 8, 2010

Redux Recap: The Art of Ninjintsu? No, Art of Theft.

The other day I uploaded a post that upset a few people. Calling people out, saying that they were wrong about Bores. I was acting like a douche.
I’d like to issue this apology to anyone I have offended and let’s just move on from this.

That said, let’s begin the recap of the Irate Gamer’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review.

Before this video was released, two big things happened that I’d like to bring up.

The first was a Thank You video that he mysteriously took down from his account.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2UKOjvQOec (re-upload from y2b2010)
When YouTube featured both the Super Mario Bros 2 and MUSCLE videos, his number of subscribers skyrocketed (back when YouTube didn’t just feature only Fred, Shane Dawson, and ShayCarl) so to “thank” his fans he made that video.

This is the video where he claims to have been playing games for 20 years and know all the ins & outs of them, his first major act of dishonesty.
If he does know the ins and outs of them, then let me ask some simple questions. Why did he think Toad was worthless? Why did he have to do “research” on Super Mario Bros. 2? How did he NOT know about the special moves in MUSCLE?
20 years my ass.

The second event I’d like to bring up was his letter to James Rolfe. Bores wrote a letter to James in hopes that he’d get his approval and wanted to apologize for using some of his lines. He soon forwarded the letter to Mike *****.
Back then, they didn’t think twice about him being a thief. A lot of people were inspired by the AVGN to make their own videos. Some were decent and some were… morbidly obese.

In the letter, Chris mentioned that he had hundreds of ideas after watching the AVGN videos but due to his job (what job?) he had to put them aside. *sniff sniff* Smells like bullshit.
He also said the first AVGN review he saw was TMNT. You’ll see why this is important.
He apologized for “accidentally” (bullshit) using some of his catchphrases, and hopes to one day do a joint-review with him (HAHAHA no).

You can read the letter at the Irate Gamer's Encyclopedia Dramatica page (just remember that it originally said "Hello James" and not "Hello Chris").

So why was this letter publicly released? Let’s watch and find out.

Intro: The first use of his “Rate This Video. Support the Show” title card. I’ll give him credit that he doesn’t say “5 Stars for Green Turtles” or “5 Stars to hear me say Sandwich” like many other YouTube Whores.

0:20 - 0:33: We start off with a second intro. This one showing footage from the TMNT Arcade game, and the part with the Turtles showing up has been replaced with Bores in different colored-shirts holding the Turtles respective weapons. Laaaaame.
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. Irate Gamer” Now that’s an episode I’d watch, all four of them wailing on him for being a total douche bag.

0:34 - 1:02: The actual video starts with Bores talking about TMNT: The Arcade Game
“Became an instant classic when released back in the 1980s” Is it that hard to say 1989?
“The graphics were cool, the levels were fun as hell, and the icing on the cake (sighs) was that you could play with three other people could play at the same time. This was the coolest feature in the entire game!” You know Chris, games like Gauntlet did this long before TMNT. It’s not like this game created that concept.
Pay attention to the first claim about graphics, it will come back in a very idiotic way.

1:03 - 1:16: Blah blah praise blah blah foot soldiers blah blah I don’t care.
“This game is everything a Turtles fan could ask for” Until Turtles in Time came out two years later… fuck.

1:16 - 1:34: “The only bad thing I can say is that you die a little too quickly” AND THUS IT SUCKS!
Really, that’s your only gripe? That the game is too hard. Why am I not surprised?
“Ahh the infamous shell shock. Who could forget that sound?” A lot of people, it’s not a memorable death sound like Pac-Man. Stop trying to reminisce, it’s not working at all.
“See, even dying in this game was cool!” Which makes me wonder why you were complaining about it at all. Contradictory asshole.
“Hell, if every game was like this one. I’d be out of a job!” No you’d continue doing what you always do, bash great games for idiotic reasons.

1:35 - 1:51: “A few months later, they decided to release a Ninja Turtles game for the Nintendo System” *buzzer* Ohhh I’m sorry Chris you lost the game. The NES TMNT was released first, the Arcade Game came out after that. You fail at history!
And stop calling it the “Nintendo System” nobody calls it that.
“After such an awesome arcade game, this was highly anticipated” Even though this game came first, I’m going to hate this video aren’t I?

1:52 - 2:02: Bores starts playing the game but gets immediately killed by a steam roller. He looks at his magic watch (I call it that because it appears when the plot requires it) and quips “5 seconds, must be some kind of record!” That’s not funny at all.

2:03 - 2:17: He notes the overhead view and that it’s “really weird” … No it’s not.
He also mentions that they got rid of the 4-player option and scaled it to one. Why is this a complaint? Oh right, he thinks this came after the Arcade Game. God this video sucks.

2:17 - 2:49: “You can switch out any of the Turtles by pressing the Select button” No, you do it by pressing the Start button. This is the second time he’s mixed up the two buttons, has this idiot even SEEN an NES controller?
Reminds me of Captain N where Kevin pauses time with the Select button, when most games have you pause with the Start button. Continuing to support my theory that all of Bores’ knowledge came from Captain N.

He starts talking about how Leo and Don are the best characters, but they’ll be the first to die (Here’s a tip: save those two for the tough parts of the game, don’t use them right away). If we lose both of them we should just turn the game off.
Look at this footage, he keeps walking into the enemies. He’s terrible at this game, he’s not even trying to win, he’s not even using his weapon. I don’t think he’s doing bad on purpose, you can’t fake that kind of suck.

2:50 - 2:56: We cut to IG pl- wow that’s not convincing at all! Terrible Winter Games action on his controller right now. Maybe that’s why he sucks at everything he plays, he actually uses the controller like that in real life.
Here’s some AAA acting “Fuck, I hate this game…” followed by him flipping off the TV. Yeah you don’t sound angry you just sound bored.

2:57 - 3:23: IG starts talking about the stage bosses and how we have some “real winners” here. He starts complaining that Bebop (whom he never refers to by name) is too easy since all he can do is beat him into a corner. I thought you liked it when the game went easy on you?
“But if you think that’s bad, remember the time I ripped off that popular series and made money from it?” Sorry, but he actually does say “you think that’s bad” a lot and it reminds me of the PAINFUL jokes of Family Guy.

Then he starts talking about the “Rocksteady Glitch” and whining that it defies some law of physics and that it’s stupid.
To be a little fair, the AVGN did say when talking about this “Here’s a trick I think everybody knows” … though he only brought it up because The Nerd brought it up. If he wanted to be different he wouldn’t have shown that.
And yeah, he doesn’t refer to Rocksteady by name either. I have a hard time believing he was a TMNT fan.

3:24 - 3:43: “Reminds me of this rooftop bullshit. Jump from the wrong place, and you go falling to the ground. *does so*” … Did he really just say that?
I’m going to need a minute.
Did he seriously think that would be a legit complaint? It would be like saying “shoot in the wrong direction and you’ll miss the enemy”. The way he says it, it sounds like this is the only game to do that. How could you write something like that in your script? Seriously… how can… FUCK!

Nice transition by the way, he was talking about the Rocksteady Glitch and then starts talking about the rooftop section. That makes perfect sense.

After saying that, he tries to get across the pit but only does so when he jumps from the bottom part. The first two times he did it on purpose. Also, you have to love how he uses Save States here, his health bar and score doesn’t change at all.

3:44 - 4:16: IG starts talking about the respawning enemies showing more of his forced anger. His anger is just putting me to sleep.
“What the fuck is up with the enemy selection in this game? Eyeball plants, rocket-pack flyers, guys on fire” the missile balloons, flying robot heads, those little butterfly things. Come on, you’re going to tell me he doesn’t steal from him?

4:16 - 4:40: He believes that the “jackass” that designed the enemies also designed the levels, smoooooth transition there.
He starts complaining about the pizza that’s impossible to get due to the spike traps, and to make sure we see it he uses a spotlight effect.
Look dumbshits, plagiarism does not mean word-for-word.
Here’s the definition from Dictionary.com
“the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.”
CLOSE IMITATION! An imitation does not mean exact! Plus, Chris never got permission to use his jokes, and he tries to pass it off as his own. That’s plagiarism and that’s a fact.

Here’s another example, in issue 13 of The Simpsons Comics, Bart and Milhouse create a character (Oyster-something it’s been a while since I read it) but their idea was rejected. A few months later they find their same character all over the place renamed “The Pearl”, and they want all of the money the character is earning. Get me now?

Oh yeah, and Bores thinks the hard-to-reach pizza is “a bunch of assburgers with a side of fries.” Hey fatso, get your mind off food for 5 seconds and actually play the game.

4:40 - 5:21: IG reaches the underwater level and “guarantees that anyone that’s played this level has probably been scarred from trying to beat this nightmare of a level”. Bad grammar AND redundancy, you’re on a role today Chris!
“Now if you’re just allowed to disarm the bombs it wouldn’t be a problem. But instead, they decided to make it much more challenging.” It’s like some sort of video game!
He starts whining that there’s too much shit here and that it’s impossible. If it’s so impossible then why is there footage from later stages?
I’m going to say Game Genie.

5:21 - 5:37: Bores reaches the part with very little safe-space and starts complaining that if he had enough time he could swim through it safely, but he only has a set amount of time…
Here’s the thing, he said the exact same complaint in the exact same screen. That’s plagiarism, and he still hasn’t admitted it.
I love how he isn’t even trying to avoid the seaweed, he spends more time in it then he does the open water.

5:38 - 5:55: We cut to some even less convincing Winter Games action (now he looks like he’s just dancing) as he dies again. He goes over to his NES, opens the dust tray (the cartridge isn’t even pushed in all the way) takes out the game without turning off the system (idiot) and… bites into it and somehow tears it in half.
Hi, I’m the Laws of Physics. NES cartridges are not made of paper, they can’t break in half by pulling on them with your teeth. For a “game destruction” sequence it makes absolutely no sense.
And to solidify how unoriginal this douche is, he says “What a piece of cowabunga shee-it!” Changing “Cowa-fucking piece of dog shit!” into something less vulgar doesn’t mean it’s original.

So there you have it, the reason Mike ***** uploaded that letter to the ScrewAttack forums. Most of this review was stolen from James, after he said he would stop stealing from him. That’s the second major act of dishonesty he’s committed.
But, we’re not done yet. We got through the “Unoriginal Half” of this video, we still have the “Idiotic Half”. Where IG reviews the three TMNT sequels.

5:56 - 6:12: “Now, I’m not sure if the backlash of this game was overwhelming or what” Daaah research what’s that?
The game sold 4 million copies, it’s one of the best-selling NES games of all time. If the backlash was overwhelming, then it wouldn’t have sold as much. Idiot!
IG starts talking about the sequel and how it was taken from “video game greatness” (it hasn’t aged that well to be honest, Turtles in Time is the far superior game) and that they should have done this right from the start. This is hurting my head.

6:13 - 6:17: IG puts the game in the system incorrectly! Seriously, he puts it in and doesn’t push it down. How the smeg does anyone think this frakhead is a gamer?

6:17 - 6:43: He starts up and says “Another huge let-down. What the hell is this? This is the arcade game? What a pixilated nightmare.” Newsflash buddy, it’s an 8-Bit port. You can’t expect Arcade perfect graphics on the NES, especially an Arcade Game from the late 80s boom.
His stupidity starts to unveil here. “Flashy intro, GONE! Cool graphics, GONE! 4-Player mode, GONE! Oh come on that was the best feature!”
*facepalm* Just… wow. I still can’t believe he said something this stupid. First of all, nobody cares about a flashy intro! We don’t play games to watch the opening cinematics (unless you’re the guys at Unskippable but that’s a different story), we play games to PLAY THE GAME!
Second, it’s an 8-Bit port. You can’t expect the exact same graphics! Hell, the NES version of Pac-Man doesn’t look as good as the Arcade version. The NES versions of Ghosts N Goblins, Contra, Gradius, 1942, Double Dragon, the list goes on. Yes they don’t look as good, but we don’t fucking care!
Third, the NES isn’t capable of 4-players! It only has two controller ports! There is the NES Satellite and Four Score but they only play a limited number of games. Not to mention, a 2-player game of TMNT II causes immense flickering, a 4-player game would break it!

“Where do they get off calling this the Arcade game?” IT’S A PORT! I still don’t understand what people see in this asshole.

6:43 - 6:53: “If they wanna be honest about the game, they should of just called it ‘Boo! Haunted House’ … I mean ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Suckass Poorman’s Version of the Arcade Game’” Why? Because the graphics aren’t as good? You god damn whore.

6:54 - 7:21: Notice that when he’s hitting enemies they go down in one hit? Can only be done with Game Genie. Loser.
He then complains that all you can do is jump, attack, and dropkick. Completely untrue (once again) pressing both the A & B buttons allows an awesome special attack. Making it much easier to get through this game. Also, all you could do in the Arcade version was jump, attack, and dropkick.

“And if you lose, that’s it game over. You don’t even get da option of continuing right where you left off.” The way you phrase that makes it sound like “die once and it’s over” even though we could clearly see that you get 2 extra lives. He also complains that the continue option forces him to start at the beginning of the level. This is the price of playing a home version! It’s called a challenge, they have to find a way to play the game without shoving quarters into your NES.

7:21 - 7:39: Now he starts complaining about the Pizza Hut ads in the game. He deduces that it’s because the Turtles eat pizza. It’s almost over…
Dude, the game came with a coupon for free pizza! You’d think that someone with knowledge of obscure food like old Lucky Charms marshmallows, Fruity Yummy Mummy, and old Kool-Aid flavors would know this!
Pizza Hut and TMNT did a ton of promotions together, I remember getting a VHS tape from Pizza Hut that had 3 TMNT episodes.

Time for a lame joke! He tells us to look for other corporate logos and edits in logos from Slush Puppies and Budweiser. Wow, even with his lame jokes he fails as a gamer. Nintendo wouldn’t allow alcohol references!

7:39 - 8:08
IG starts talking about the extra two levels and how everyone praises them. Being the biased ignoramus he is, he exclaims “Well la-dee-fucking-da, these levels suck!” Okay, care to tell us why? “Adding them was pointless and stupid.” No? Well fuck you too.

“In one level, the New York Zoo magically freezes over” no it’s a weather satellite from Dimension X. This level is based off an episode of the show. “At the end you fight a polar bear that looks like a cross between Joe Camel and Spuds MacKenzie” Oh look, more references your 11 year old fans won’t get.

Then… this. “Now I would have gladly done without these extra levels if they just used the extra space to make the game closer to the Arcade version.” I’m speechless.
He’s completely failed in trying to prove he’s a gamer, this is the gamebreaker. Any other attempt after that is a forced reference to an unrelated game. “Look, I’m referencing Pitfall! I’m a gamer dur hur hur” FUCK.

8:08 - 8:32: “Face it, breakfast is ruined! I mean, this game sucks, it’s boring and it’s stupid!” Are you sure you didn’t mean your videos?
So, just to clarify. This game sucks because the graphics aren’t as good as the Arcade version. You biased retard.

He dies to Rocksteady prompting a complete “I’m Acting!” moment with “Shell Shock! I’ll show you fucking shell shock!” prompting another lame game destruction scene. After taking the game out without turning off the system AGAIN, he attaches two electrodes to the cart somehow causing it to explode. PHYSICS!
Now you see why I call this the Idiotic Half.

8:32 - 9:04: But wait, there’s more!
Bores starts talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project. He says it improved on the second one by having better graphics and characters from the show (graphics whooooooore). Note that when he switches Turtles his life count doesn’t go down. That’s right, GAME GENIE! I’m not kidding when I say he uses it for every game.
Oh and that’s all we’re getting about TMNT III.

9:04 - 9:15: Cut to Bores telling us that this might be worth it, but says it sucks either way, throws it (with an unnecessary sound effect) and tells us there’s only one game worth owning.

9:16 - 9:31
He starts talking about TMNT IV: Turtles in Time. First line of this review “Released only on the Super Nintendo” … It’s official I’m in Hell.
Turtles in Time was originally an Arcade game and sequel to the first Arcade TMNT. It was ported to the SNES as Turtles IV and a retooled version for the Genesis called The Hyperstone Heist.
Proof that it was an Arcade game? THE BOX ART! Here’s what it says on the front cover.

“Board Shredder’s terror tour through time, direct from the SECOND ARCADE HIT, non-stop to your house, NO TOKENS REQUIRED.”

Then he compliments the game’s graphics, enemies, and levels. Bores, give us real compliments about the games! Except for the first NES title all you’ve been doing is talking about graphics, enemies, and levels. You suck!

9:32 - 9:42: “The only downside is that you can’t play 4-players” God not this shit again, dude the SNES doesn’t have 4 controller ports! Yes, there are multi-taps but they don’t support this game!
“But hell, with a game this good that’s something I’ll gladly overlook.” What? You complained when the NES version didn’t have 4-players but you say it’s okay here? Rrrrrrrr *stops and calms self* Let’s just get this over with.

9:43 - 10:03: IG starts talking about how the original Arcade game never saw “full glory” on the SNES (why would it?) and we had to wait for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus to get it as a bonus feature. Honestly that’s the only redeeming factor of that piece of shit.
Just FYI this video was released after TMNT Arcade came out on XBLA, but that would imply Bores even knew what an Xbox was.

Oh, and this line “It’s unclear as to why they only released Turtles in Time on the Super Nintendo” You know, just to make sure we get that he’s a total fucking moron.

So the video FINALLY ends with Bores in a weird wide-angle shot as… a barrel rolls by. What the? He says he has to go because he needs to play Donkey Kong. What does this have to do with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? We then cut to Bores literally playing Donkey Kong, as in he inserted himself into the game. That’s just shameful.

When he does sight gags like the barrel, his camera ruins the joke. Throughout the entire video you see him in the same spot each time, but when he’s suddenly in a wide-angle then you know something pointless is going to appear. Just another sign that Chris Bores is an incompetent filmmaker.

This review is bogus! Half of it was stolen from the AVGN, the other half was pure stupidity! It’s not as bad as the Super Mario Bros. 2 review, but it’s up there. Oh God it’s up there.

Next time, Chris Bores begins selling out less then a year after he started. Thus, his true intentions revealed.

43 comments:

  1. I wonder if anyone has ever asked IG if he's a big fan of Captain N, and that he used to watch it religiously, as a kid?

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  2. You know I wouldn't be at all surprised if Chris whatched The Super Mario Brothers Super show and all those other cartoons based off video games. Hell, the humor in those shows seems to have rubbed off on him i'd say.

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  3. TMNT III is a good game, but not as good as turtles in time, so we should not play TMNT III.... why... why not just play both and play two good games?

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  4. @fattoler

    Seeing that SMBSS had a ton of U.S. Mario 2 references, I doubt he would like that show.

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  5. Of course he didn't like SMBSS, that show just had ASS written all over it! Thankfully, it was followed by the perfect predecessor, the Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3.

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  6. Just a not-so-quick thought on that pizza scene:

    When I first saw that scene with the unattainable pizza in IG's review, I did find it too similar to AVGN's review. So yeah, I can agree that this is a rather blatant act of plagiarism. Looking back, though, it clearly shows Bores didn't know what he was doing; not because he copied certain AVGN material, but because he copied THAT particular scene... which was one of the scenes that originally convinced me that this Nintendo Nerd person was a fucking idiot.

    Even years later, when I knew better and realized the whole thing was an act, it's one of those scenes that come across more as being blatantly stupid than it does funny.

    Here's the deal: you're falling down rooms with spiked walls closing in on you. One room contains a weapon of sort (don't remember what), the next room contains the undeservingly-infamous pizza.

    Both reviews complain about this bit. Both reviews spotlight the pizza in question (Thank you, that was very necessary, by the way - it's hard to distinguish a pink pizza box from a pale purple wall). Both reviews wonder whose bright idea it was to put a pizza there. Actually, I do wonder what brilliant mind would place a pizza in that particular sweet spot. It was such a brilliant move to put that pizza there and bait little kids to getting that pizza shortly before they ate spike wall in the face.

    IN DA FACE!

    As a kid, I never reached for that pizza. Even back then, I knew it was a trap. If I wasn't going for an easier weapon, I'm sure as hell ain't gonna get a pizza that's more deviously positioned to get me killed. Besides, the Giant Mouser boss that awaits you at the end of the stage doesn't really do much and you can exploit a glitch to kill it quickly.

    And even if it was possible for me to get it, I'm not going to risk one of my turtles for a pizza. They're all loaded with ninja scrolls at this point, which are generally hard to come by given their destructive power.

    Granted, there ARE spots where items are unnecessarily hard to obtain (AVGN shows a clip of Area 3 where there's a half-pizza in a narrow space that your turtle is barely able to fit through outside of sheer luck - this would have been a far better scene for IG to rip off) but most competent people can see that this scene in question is a very obvious trap for bait the more ignorant people.

    So, of course Bores is going to get it anyway and die. Thanks for proving my point, dumbass.

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  7. Two things:

    1) I'm kind of surprised I'm not the only old-school gamer who thinks the TMNT arcade game hasn't withstood the test of time. IG and so many other people rave about it, but I tried playing it on MAME a little while ago with my days as a TMNT junkie long behind me. And...it's a game. Nothing special about it all to set it apart from any other Final Fight clone.

    2) I don't know what the deal was exactly with with the NES four-player adapters, if they only played a certain group of games that came out when they were first released or if it was possible to make games compatible with them later. Even if it was possible to make other games 4-player compatible, you still needed one of the adapters to play them, and few people owned those, probably almost none in the 6-10 age group. It wouldn't have made fiscal sense to make this game 4-player compatible even if it was possible.

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  8. Come on Fattoler thats an insult to those old 90's video games cartoons. At least they are so cheesy they're awesome unlike bores who....nevermind. Hell, I have some SMBSS DVD's because I loved it so much as a child

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  9. @Anon APRIL 9, 2010 8:09 AM
    I always found that the TMNT arcade game was a good timewaster and quarter-muncher, but that's about it. It was just your run-of-the-mill side-scrolling beat-em-up that happened to have four player capability. People like to make a big deal on how early Konami licensed brawlers like the TMNT games, the Simpsons arcade game, and even the X-Men arcade game (with 6-player action or whatever it was) were all kinds of amazing, but really they're all just the same game with minor touch-ups and reskinned graphics. They're fun games with friends, sure, but that's about it. To me, they're really nothing special nor memorable.

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    Replies
    1. I understand your opinion, there are other good beat-em-ups out there like Captain America and the Avengers, Cadillacs & Dinosaurs, and the Rushing Beat Trilogy.

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  10. Hey! I'm not knocking the SMBSS, It's cheesy fun and I do like those scenes where they add a cover song over the action but in all honesty the live action sections were far more entertaining than the cartoon. (in my 90's kid opinion that is)

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  11. I think the konami arcade games were something memeorable personally cause they took so many popular licenses during the times and made awesome beat-em ups out of them. Each one has their own kind of creativity that puts you in a feeling that you're almost watching the show except you can do something in it. They may have been simular yes (except games like bucky o'hare and sunset riders) but these games honest to god captured the spirit of the shows (the show based ones) well and if you were a fan of any of them, they were dreams come true and I applaud Konami for showing off not only creativity with them, but an experience fans wouldnt forget and thats more you can say for most t.v. or movie based games of this age.

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  12. No shit about the flashy intros. Arcade games had those to get your attention while you were in an arcade trying to pick which game to play. Hence "attract mode". What the hell would the point be for a game you already bought and brought home?

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  13. @April 9, 2010 9:56 AM

    I thought the game was the best thing ever at one point. When I was a hyperactive 9-year old who was addicted to Ninja Turtles. I'm saying it's not that special anymore now that I know a lot more about gaming and don't automatically think anything with the ninja turtles is the best of its kind in the world.

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  14. I read alot of comments on anti-irate gamer videos and people actually claim bores is right about turtles in time being an snes exclusive (goes to cut self but stops) So these idiots are going to rip apart any proof that hes wrong apart just because he abuses terrible green screen effects that once again makes the effects of Battlefield Earth look good?!

    sigh....aw well, oh and by the way, what was the blog you apologized about, I didnt get to read it?

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  15. @ dtmNUMBEROFTHEBEAST

    I think there's a gameradar article avout this type of thing. Try looking it up at Gamesradar to see what I mean. I think the article is called "five genres the we used to like but now hate."

    Now if you excuse me, I am going to play with dog turds, because I would rather do that than watch any of Irate Lamer's videos. Bye.

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  16. @DarthGamer
    Nothing can make Battlefield Earth look good. Not even Chris Bores.

    @Anon APRIL 9, 2010 2:38 PM
    Don't know if this is the one you're talking about, but I did read it and it's a good read.

    http://www.gamesradar.com/f/games-we-once-loved-but-now-hate/a-20100322174139468065

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  17. "Morbidly Obese?" Are you refering to Boring Man, VIB113, or the AngryPissedOffHardcore Gamer... then again it could apply to them all

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  18. Yeah, Turtles in Time is a way better game. You play the original Arcade game (either through XBLA or MAME) without the nostalgia filter and it's just... average.
    Turtles in Time is still an excellent game to this day. Just avoid the Reshelled version, there's something off about it. It's like Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, the original was incredible but the remake feels off.

    @Anon (April 9th 9:11 PM)
    I was referring to Angry Pissed Off Hardcore Gamer. The term morbidly obese refers to someone so fat that they'd keel over any second now.
    The type that says "I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

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  19. the arcade game might feel average now, but when it was new, it was great. The turtles looked great, and was everything a TMNT fan could ask for in an arcade game. I fondly remember wanting to go to Shakey's Pizza just to play the game with 3 friends while eating pizza. Simpson's game pretty much had the same effect.

    Now for Bores, at first it amazed me that he would complain about, of all things, the graphics. anyone who grew up with a NES knew its limits, especially a "true gamer" like Bores!! I'd expect a kid from today's generation to whine about graphics, but c'mon Bores, you grew up with these games and know all the ins and outs (game genie), all these games you play look just about the same, how can you expect anything better?

    Then it hit me! He is used to his NES games looking graphically equivalent to their arcade counterparts, maybe not at first but certainly by level 2. Don't believe me? Just check out his Ghost n Goblins review! Your right Bores, the graphics suck!

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  20. @atebit

    I hope you were joking. But if your not on Bore's Ghost-N-Goblins review for most levels he used the arcade version + cheats. So the graphics are just right on EVERY NES game (excluding a few) and Bores is still a graphics whore

    -Hardcore555A

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  21. The first TMNT game wasn't really a terrible game it just had some major flaws that could have been ironed out (like the fact the Turtles don't start out every level with full health). It is funny that he said TMNT IV is the only game worth owning, remember in the Goonies review the Bore stated that he insists on playing games in proper order, so why is he telling his fans just to ditch the first three games.

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  22. @Batdan
    Yeah, I played the ReShelled version on someone else's Xbox... kinda wished I hadn't. The only one I'd really play is the SNES version. I even feel that TMNT3: The Manhattan Project on NES is a solid game given the hardware and a definite step-up over its immediate predecessor.

    @Erik
    Isn't it obvious? Because the first three games weren't didn't have a flashy intro or cool graphics (or something)... yet he let slide the fact that there's no four-player option, which, to him, is the best feature.

    In regards to the early numbered games, though, it doesn't really matter which order you play them in. The first game is its own little beast, the second game is based on the original arcade game, the third game is a new game based on the arcade gameplay with added options, and then you have the fourth game on SNES, which is an expanded port of the second arcade game... along with the GB titles, Hyperstone Heist, and Tournament Fighter games. None of these games have anything to do with the other outside of the brand name and related characters.

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  23. @dtm666

    TMNT may not be a good counterpoint, but IG's argument about not being able to play Castlevania in the proper order is a pretty bad one itself. Playing those games in the proper order has about as much point as TMNT with how the games keep jumping around in the series timeline.

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  24. @Anon APRIL 10, 2010 1:18 PM
    The whole thing with the Castlevania timeline begs the question; What would be the point of playing the games in chronological order anyway? Eventually, you'll have played through the entire series in the order they happened, only to find out that a new game has been released which takes place between Game A and Game B, Game C is no longer IN continuity, or they release a Game D which is basically a reboot and nullifies the timeline completely?

    Face it; the space-time continuum is ruined... oh wait.

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  25. So I'm considering a couple possibilities regarding playing a series in the right order:

    1) Bores really is that anal retentive that he'd play a series like that. The picayune things he attacks about games suggest he might be.

    2) He doesn't realize the Castlevania games don't occur in chronological order and was talking out of his ass.

    3) Most likely, even Bores couldn't find enough things to attack about Goonies II so stole the whole "chronologically confused" bit from...somebody else to pad his video out to full length. So he was still talking out of his ass.

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  26. @Anon APRIL 10, 2010 1:50 PM
    So what you're saying is... he's talking out of his ass. Really, that's kinda hard to miss.

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  27. And the answer is 3, the stupidest choice of the bunch, lets face it, breakfast is ruined! ( although 2 also rings true)

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  28. @irish anon
    No, it isn't. Beverages are ruined.

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  29. @dtm666
    "So what you're saying is... he's talking out of his ass. Really, that's kinda hard to miss."

    Not if you're one of a certain 117,000 people, apparently.

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  30. @gladrius
    Don't forget that most of those are his haters that sub just to see what he does next, and his hundreds of sockpuppet accounts.

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  31. @BatDan

    I think you're exaggerating the numbers but I concede you have a point.

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  32. @gladrius
    To those 117,000 people, talking out of one's ass is FUNNY. Only the stupid people among those 117,000 will take this tripe seriously... oh wait.

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  33. I just wanna point out somethin'.
    You are aware about what this loser said about TMNT IV being released only on the Super Nintendo, when it was a port of Turtles in time, amaright?! Well how come he never said that about TMNT III?! That was released only on the 8-bit Nintendo. And of course, so is the first TMNT game.

    Man, it sure was embarassing to pose with this poser at E3, unlike that James Rolfe guy. He's awesome. Speaking of E3, do you guys think Rolfe and Bores should really meet face to face in this year's E3? That I would LOVE to see!!!

    Oh, and Donatello let me borrow his computer to let me speak my peice about this Chris Bores guy. Thanks, and say no to drugs.

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  34. Haha, thanks Raph. Nice to know you guys get YouTube in the sewers.

    Hopefully Bores doesn't get invited to E3 this year. I don't want to see more humiliating "reviews" and awkward interviews.

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  35. Actually, I was hoping he would get invited. From what I heard Silent Rob somehow got invited to E3 by some site called "Hip Hop Gamer Show". Now I was wondering what will happen if these two were to meet each other.

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  36. *sees Hip Hop Gamer Show* This is a train wreck.
    Maybe Bores will use his "8 Years of Martial Arts" to take care of him.

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  37. Okay, now I'm convinced that Bores meant NES when he was talking about how each "Nintendo system" was packaged with SMB in his Mario 2 review, but you pointed out how even that's wrong.

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  38. Actualy, you can kick in the arcade version without droping. Bores still sucks.

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  39. AVGN-NostalgiaCriticFanJune 28, 2010 at 7:19 PM

    *************************
    7:21 - 7:39: Now he starts complaining about the Pizza Hut ads in the game. He deduces that it’s because the Turtles eat pizza. It’s almost over…
    Dude, the game came with a coupon for free pizza!
    *************************

    To be fair, the pizza coupon probably wasn't included when Chris Bores (The Shit Out Of Us) bought the game off of eBay.

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  40. @fattoler

    "in my 90's kid opinion" DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! THIS LIVE ACTION SECTION IS SO RADICAL!!!

    Wow, it's been a year and a half since the last comment was posted.

    Hey batdan, was it just me, or when he brought up the inclusion of the characters added to TMNT 3, were you like "Okay Bores, can you NAME them?"

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  41. By the way, this is Jazzypants2010/Yami Yugi from Spoony's board. OpenID is being fucking retarded and not letting me use my Livejournal account to post.

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  42. After playing all four of the games mentioned in this review, the original NES game was the only one I didn't care for. I played Ninja Turtles II on NES, and enjoyed the snowy Central Park and Foot dojo levels with Tora and Shogun. The Manhattan Project is a good game, but now, I think I like Turtles in Time most of all. The Super NES version is rad, but I fired up MAME and discovered I like the arcade version even more. Turtles in Time Re-Shelled doesn't count for me, since Ubisoft changed it so much from Konami's original game it feels like an entirely different game. This was the video that made me hate the Irate Gamer. He ripped off his criticisms of the first game from AVGN after James' friend and associate Mike asked him to stop; and he criticized two great experiences that involved pizza and weapons of the Orient just to prove he can. And that whole "Turtles in Time is only on SNES" thing was debunked thrice- arcade version, Hyperstone Heist on Genesis, and a port as a bonus feature of TMNT: Mutant Nightmare (the silver lining in an otherwise terrible game). This was the video that made me see Chris as a plagiarist, an idiot, and a fraud.

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