Friday, June 11, 2010

Prince of Persia Film Review + Other Tidbits

This just in, Bores released a review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (the movie).
How was it? Generic and boring.

I'll sum it up "Jake Gyllenhaal is the lead character. This movie reminded me of The Mummy 1 & 2 so it was good. This movie was decent. It had action, special effects, and beautiful women. It was decent but could have been better. There should have been more magic. The dagger was awesome but barely used. So final verdict, it was decent. Did I say that it was decent enough times? And no I won't explain in detail why I thought this movie was decent."

MatthewErich did an excellent parody where he took the audio from Bores' Iron Man 2 review, changed a few names, and overlayed images of gay porn. That's the biggest problem with his movie reviews, they're so generic that he could be talking about anything; they're even shorter than the trailers.


lukestarkiller441 has given up on defending the Irate Gamer. After his little bitchfit over his imposter, he changed his profile from "Obama-hating Republican" to "Tribute to Straight Edge punk". He also unsubscribed and de-friended IG so he could no longer go to his videos.

However, there are still plenty of stupid fans out there. Here are some recent arguments I've seen.
"Why do people dislike his videos?" "Because they don't like him being an AVGN rip-off" ... Really? Have you considered people "dislike" his videos for other reasons like incompetence?
"They dislike his videos because they don't agree with his opinion" *sighs* The opinion card. There's a difference between an opinion, and getting your facts wrong. Bores constantly gets his facts wrong and doesn't care to correct them, that's why we "dislike" his videos.

"If you don't like him, then don't express your opinions you whiners. Just don't talk." Yeah, it's obvious a lot of his fans are kids unaware to the concept of criticism.
There's a lot more but there's only so much stupidity I can take.


I also want to address this statement Bores wrote at his site.

"Alright guys, I just posted the 3-in-1 Tekken review on YouTube and due to a few e-mails asking me to review the arcade mode in Tekken 6, I did just that. so make sure you check that out."
Asked you to review it? Stop making your PMs sound nicer than they really are. Ralph Baer did NOT like your video, and I'm sure they didn't "ask you to review the Arcade mode" as much as "insult you for being a lazy fucktard."


Finally, E3 is coming in a few days. Tons of a great news so far (Mortal Kombat reboot, Lord of the Rings game from Snowblind Studios, Rock Band 3 comes with a keyboard) and some of the best reviewers will be there. The Spoony One, Angry Joe, JewWario, James Rolfe, and many more (I think).

From the lack of news at IG's site, it sounds like Bores won't be going this year. That's a good thing, I don't think GottGame wants a repeat of the half-assed "review" videos and the embarassing interviews.
GI Joe Rep: The game takes place right after the movie.
Bores: K... *10 second pause* So does the game follow the movie?

That's all for now.

50 comments:

  1. Aw, come on. =(

    I wanna see the Nerd and the Lamer duke it out.
    (or at least talk it out);_;

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  2. I think the internet thing is finally getting the better of Bores. Some of gaming's founding fathers are calling him out, he posts an awful review that gets the attention of loads of unaware gamers, a lot of his loyal followers are deserting him and he's not being invited to E3. Things are looking up.

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  3. Thanks for the high praise, man. You'll be happy to know I just released another movie "review", but I think it's only viewable here in USA so here's both links. See which one works for you...

    YouTube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WUoin-OqfE

    Blip

    http://blip.tv/file/3743095

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  4. Probably the main reason that Chris Bores isn't gonig to be at E3 is because he fucked up his chance in 2009 so I can't see him going to E3 2010.

    Which is a good thing because his 2009 visit was just horrible.

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  5. I thought SWAGshow made a video saying that he and Chris would be going to E3. Or was that something else?

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  6. @MatthewErich
    Haha nice review. Sadly it only works on Blip since Fox blocked it. I live in the USA so blame YouTube's shitty system.
    It seems like he only mentions women to try and compensate for losing Jennifer. There's no reason to bring them up.

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  7. I really only did it to poke more fun at Bores's stereotyping and obvious xenophobia. I've lampooned that in the past and Third Rate did a great job with that in his last vid also, but on the whole, I don't think people take him to task enough over it.

    Look at his roadtrip videos: "chuck full" of unfunny stereotypes and pigeonholing. Irish as drunks, British as thieves, etc. God, I fucking hate him.

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  8. "All Right Guys, Today's Mover Er Vue, is on Prince Of Persia."

    It might just be me, but I think Bores' enunciation of 'Movie Review' was just terrible; it really sounds like he was rushing his lines.

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  9. @MatthewErich

    Of course stereotypes are fine until they attack you.,

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  10. Another piece of Matthew Erich-penned hilarity.

    Nice Save-State Gamer-style pronounciation on "The Uhteam."

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  11. "Another piece of Matthew Erich-penned hilarity."

    Whenever I submit something for publication from this day forth, I will print that line on the cover - including job applications.

    Glad you liked the video so much. I didn't really intend how I said "The Uh-Team" as an SSG reference. It was just what came naturally when I was thinking about how a grade schooler who had never seen A-Team (one of my fave childhood shows) would pronounce it. In retrospect, I should've put the word "decent" in the review like 64 times. Guess that'll have to wait for the first Dudespired revision.

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  12. You know, what are the odds of Irategamer being attack if does go to E3? He is hated with a good percentage of the gaming world, you think he and his gottgame friends will be treated like crap if they did go to E3?

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  13. Well, E3 isn't open to the general public. I doubt any developers or media types would do anything more than scowl at the guy, and that's only if they even know what he's done.

    Personally, if I was someone who got invited to E3, I probably wouldn't risk the opportunity just to get kicked out/arrested for giving Chris his comeuppance.

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  14. What the Phuck is wrong with the Chris Bores Zombies? Are they just there to mindlessly attck anyone who leaves a negative comment and then threaten everyone who dissagres? But anyway. If Bores went to E3 he would be killed this time around and then the AVGN fanboys and IG fanboys would riot the streets.

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  15. Well he dissed out reviewers in Tekken 6 about how they praise a game because they are being pay to do so. (Which is very inappropriate I might add) Man can you image if that review is shown some where among other famous video game reviewers (calling it the best and worst of video game reviewing)

    And Chris can't actually sue them for copyright infringement because it is a review of his work...at lass that will never happen. Chris is still going to wonder off with is smug walk.(No really you should see how he walks in his videos)

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  16. Ladies And Gentlemen

    I have just watched Chris Bores' "Mythbusters Spoof Parody show" thing, and survived.

    Here are some titbits from the second half (I assume most people will chicken out by the 4 minute marker) that stood out:

    9.00-9.40, some of the worst acting Chris has ever done, the symbolism of him eating turkey does not do him any favours either.

    11.21-11.32, SWAG's masterful description of a didgeridoo, a native "osstraliun" instrument.

    13.00-15.00 Chris Bores gives us the worst voice-over in history in his stupidest voice. Plus Foster beer avert filler, also notice how the narrator (Chris) keeps changing his voice.

    17.30-17.40 "Zip, zero BUPKISS!"

    Then the horror finally ends with the original credits, wha...?

    Of course there was much more in there but I really could not give it much attention.

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  17. Now you see why I won't cover the Mythbusters videos, it's boring torture and a pain to sit through.

    Also, that's not SWAG that's The Genie. Back then you can tell he had no interest in being in his friend's videos.

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  18. Well they both have beards and to be honest it's not as though they are in any way memorable actors.

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  19. @fattoler

    There is also "until he can no longer eat no more" at 9:20. Kinda like "I don't know how this is not possible".

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  20. I also marvel at how he could fake being full, actually considering his size, that's probably quite difficult.

    BTW On the comments there is a message saying "These two are probably virgins, to which Chris replies No, beard guy has a wife, and I have had a girlfriend for three years. Cue reverse reverse funny anyreisim

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  21. @Anon (June 13, 2010 4:55 PM)

    I still don't understand the "How this is not possible" comment. That isn't normal slang like "don't have no" and "eat no more". You don't see guys on the streets saying "I don't know how you did not get that pot!"

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  23. I just saw that.
    It's not as douchey as the previous contest and honestly I don't care.
    If I wanted a PS3 I would earn it myself, or through a contest that wasn't sponsored by a crook.

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  24. Maybe he'll sign the PS3.

    It could potentially become the first ever item on eBay with a negative bidding.

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  25. @BatDan Speaking of the competition, did he ever reveal the winner of his last one?

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  26. Bores isn't the only sellout to hold a contest sponsored by DealDash. But the comments confirm that Bores has many "fans" around the world, since this is a USA-only contest.

    Also: "Lol look all those avgn fans not posting shit cause the nerd never did anything like this chris you rock"

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  27. So it sounds like Bores isn't going, "I'm making a por.... I mean, I'm holding a contest. If you want to win it, SUBSCRIBE."

    Yeah, very old Strawberry Clock reference. :p

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  28. Apparently his contest is for America only. Oh well, I already have a PS3.

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  29. Just to go off topic guys my PS3 fan sounds like a nuclear blender, it sits on the floor which is heated so that might be the problem.

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  31. @MindofCrazyPerson222
    This explains my thoughs on that.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT4B-NJUcZE

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  33. James winning a PS3 from Bores wouldn't be a random pick, though. :P

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  34. The only flaw with that plan is that JamesNintendoNerd has to be subscribed to IG, and since Mike runs the account and despises Bores... yeah that's not happening.

    It's E3 Time!

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  35. Oh GOD not E3 again.

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  36. E3, where internet memes are born and fanboys go to cry.

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  37. I would pay anything to watch him utterly fail at one (or all) of those Kinect games.

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  38. Thankfully he isn't at the show (he made that little contest video and hasn't made a single mention of going to LA) so he won't play it until the rest of us do.

    I'm interested in Channel Awesome and James Rolfe's thoughts.

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  39. StevenAteYourDogs
    1 minute ago username; irategamerhasnopenis
    Apparently this man loves Irate Gamer

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  41. @BatDan

    Well you remember that Christmas Special that James when he did with the three spirits of Christmas and how he talk how the Wii revolutionize gaming but now its consider a children's toy?

    He might have the same opinion about the Natel but just as a children's toy. Then again he I remember his review on the virtual boy...

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  42. @Monticrystal
    Remember that when James made that video, the Wii was only a year old so nobody knew that Sony & Microsoft would do the exact same thing.

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  43. @Monticrystal

    Actually, the "baby's toy" phrase was a reference to Back to the Future 2, where a kid said to the same thing to Marty McFly when he played Wild Gunman with his hands. Unfortunately, many Wii (and Nintendo) haters really took this in the wrong way.

    Granted, James might still think that Nintendo still has a way to go in order to please the hardcore gamers, but I don't think he meant it in a bad way.

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  44. @polo_sc83

    Actually no...that exact line was used in his NES Accessories when he tried out the Zapper on the Wild Gunman Nes game that was also an arcade game that Marty played in Back to The Future II, again it was the NES Accessories review where that reference came from. But in the episode I'm talking about he said(in his elder self) that looking back at it, its a kids toy today standards.

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  45. @Monticrystal

    By today standards? Have you ever realized that the old AVGN mentions that in HIS timeline, which is obviously the far future?

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  46. Excuse me, in his time period.

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  47. @polo_sc83

    READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    "But in the episode I'm talking about he said(in his elder self) that looking back at it, its a kids toy today standards."

    When I said his elder self I'm talking about future self in his time. Hence him looking back at it, the Wii is nothing that special when it comes to motion controls.

    Besides the oringal topic is how James feels about the Natel and Playstation move, knowing the type of person he is, he might find it interesting but he is not going to invest in it(not right away at least).

    Seriously though, I don't find the Natel that appealing and E3 didn't help. There were so many questions that pop in my mind when I saw the presention.

    Like

    "If it fully motion control, what happens if your pet or a someone walks in front of you and the Natel?"

    "If the game you playing is sound command, would will happen if a 3rd party made sounds outside enivorment, can it effect the game?"

    "If it is voice command, what happens if you have a speech impediment or a thick accent?"

    But the sad thing is, if Natel does become a hit...why the hell is MS wasting this protential on a gaming rather actual software.

    Just think a interactive PC where you can just use your hands for files and documents.(Kinda like Minority Report but with a actual TV)

    I'm not saying this is a great idea, I'm just saying that waste software and hardware potential are being wasted on gaming these days.

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  48. @Monticrystal

    Man, calm down. It's just that by "a kids toy today standards", it sounds more like our time's standards, rather than his.

    But yeah, it's a given that motion controls will probably lose their novelty value. That's why James commented in more than one ocassion that Nintendo really needed to focus a bit more on the hardcore games.

    As for Kinect, I agree. It seems that MS decided to ride on the motion control craziness more than anything (I didn't buy into their "revolutionizing the industry" mantra) and with the Wii being a hot seller, they decided to emulate that same approach.

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  49. @polo_sc83

    Yeah sorry about that.

    But the thing is that MS didn't even try to emulate it what the wii is doing, they went a whole different direction with no controls. As least the Playstation move emulate what Wii is doing. In fact, I'm sure that the Playstation Move is goingto be better then Natel when it comes to actual functionality(since its like the Wii but improve on)

    But when it comes to motion controls I have only one thing to quote.

    "What is the most imporatant aspect to any video game?"....being able to play it.

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  50. I don't really have a problem with the movies he enjoys, I respect everyone's opinions when it comes to movies.

    But if you compare his reviews with other movie reviewers on YouTube like JeremeyJahns, Furyofthefilmfan, mrblacksmoviereviews, TomChatalbash, blackbustercritic and many many more, you'll see that he isn't really good at movie reviews.

    As much as I hate to admit it he does suck at making movie reviews. But I have to give him credit for one thing, at least his movie reviews are good in comparison with his awful game reviews. (when you say he puts an effort into making them unfunny, I agree, I also think he puts effort into making them awful, since he loves to piss us off.)

    As far as I know he hasn't used lame jokes in his movie reviews. But most people who review movies here on YouTube are better, so he does suck at movie reviews as well.

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