Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Redux Recap: From Pranks to Plugs

I love April Fool’s Day, at least when it comes to the Internet. There’s a sense of glee that comes from watching people flip out over fake news and site changes. Announcing an impossible merger, showing clips from a movie that will never happen, or saying “I quit” followed by a “just kidding!”
Maddox has the best pranks overall, but this article from GameSpot should deserve special mention for how freakishly prophetic it was.
http://www.gamespot.com/news/6146958.html

So let’s check out IG’s pathetic attempt at an April Fool’s joke with his review of Q*bert. Wait, why that game? It’s Q*bert, it doesn’t really need a review. My guess is he couldn’t find a game to fit his stupid storyline so he just chose something that’s popular.

0:18 - 0:31: The video starts with IG saying he hasn’t made a video in over a month (if we’re going by his retro reviews, that is correct) and YouTube told him if he doesn’t make another video he’ll be fired.
Really, is Chad Hurley or Steve Chen going to send you a pink slip signifying they’ll no longer put ads on your videos? If not making a video in a month constitutes getting fired, you would have lost your job before the Aladdin review. Maybe earlier than that.
Also, consider some of the people YouTube has “hired”. Shane Dawson, nuttymadam, RayWilliamJohnson, Fred, yeah you’re not going anywhere. See how this prank falls flat?

So “against his own will” he’s going to review Q*bert on the NES.

0:32 - 0:40: IG goes on saying that if you’ve been in an Arcade or had an Atari 2600 then this game should be familiar. By those actions, your fans will not recognize it. Silly Bores, thinking his fans are over 11.

0:40 - 0:50: He wonders what a “Q*bert” is and if you try to break the name down you come up with more questions than answers. During this he shows the name and replaces it with pictures of Q from Star Trek and Bert from Sesame Street.
This is where RESEARCH comes in handy. Q*bert’s original project name was “Cubes”, and the little character was going to be called “Hubert”. Then a member of the project combined the two words into “Cubert”, followed by art director Richard Tracy (heh, Dick Tracy) changing it to “Q-bert” (the dash was eventually replaced with an asterisk).

He probably ignored that in favor of more references.

0:51 - 1:11: So he starts to explain how the games works, as if we really needed this. He notes one of the enemies is walking on the wrong side of the cubes and asks “Hey buddy! What do you think this is, an Escher painting? I don’t think so!”
Once again your lack of research continues to shine. Artist Jeff Lee took great inspiration from the works of M.C. Escher when designing the game. In a way, this is an Escher painting. By the way, nice job mispronouncing his name.

1:12 - 1:49: Bores starts complaining about the controls and how they’re confusing.
You’re aware you can make this easier correct? When you start a new game, you’re given a screen explaining the controls and if you’re okay with them. You can alter them so they can be easier (you can change going Up-Right from simply Up to Up + Right). Hopefully this makes sense to the people reading.

He says you’d need a degree in “Q*bert physics” just to figure out the controls, as he says this he's reading from “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Q*bert”. LOOK AT MY PHOTOSHOP! ISN’T IT HILARIOUS?

He continues complaining about the controls and how he forgets which button does what and blah blah blah blah.

1:50 - 1:55: He notes how if an enemy gets him, Q*bert starts “swearing worse than a video game reviewer”. Hmm, stealth-reference to the AVGN and Armake or egotistical reference to himself? You make the call!

1:56 - 2:15: IG remarks the only way to defend yourself are the discs to the side, and how they sometimes clear out the enemies. However he complains that they don’t work all the time. Actually, they only clear the enemies if you can get Coily (the snake) to jump off the pyramid at the same time. It’s tricky but it works.

2:16 - 2:35: He says the results of the discs are just as “random” as the game show Press Your Luck. Chris, Press Your Luck wasn’t random.
In 1984, Michael Larson, an ice cream man from Ohio, went on the show and won over 100k because he learned the board only has a few set patterns. By using a VCR he memorized these patterns and used this knowledge to his advantage. After Larson’s episode, the board still wasn’t randomized it just added more patterns. The 2002 revival “Whammy” used a computer that always generated random patterns. But either way, Press Your Luck was not random.

However, explaining all this was pointless because that reference was setting up another lame sketch. This one with Bores playing and getting a Whammy, followed by the little red demon flipping the bird at him (and he follows suit, good lord his face is red).

You’ll also notice that the board was completely hand-made. This is one major problem I have with IG’s videos, he spends far too much time on pointless gags like this one than he does his own writing, acting, or overall quality. In the comments, he said that he spent hours recreating the board. A better alternative would have been taking footage from the show and imposing it on screen. Even better, not doing the joke at all!

2:36 - 3:05: Moving on, Bores points out an enemy that changes the tiles back to normal. He declares he’s had enough so… montage. Ugh, it’s Q*bert it doesn’t need a montage! As usual, we get forced anger shots and unconvincing Pac-Man Fever. At the end he mouths “motherfucker” and Q*bert’s curse balloon appears over him. Gee, did that take more time than the script?

3:05 - 3:18: IG points out how in later stages you have to jump on the tiles twice to get the right color. Once again, complaining that progressing further in a video game increases the difficulty. *sighs*

Bores declares the review is over and doesn’t care what YouTube thinks. “What’s the worse they’re going to do, fire me?” But didn’t you say earlier that if you didn’t do anything YouTube would fire you? So wouldn’t the same thing happen if you made a short video, it’s not like they’re run by the mob. Also, if making a short video gets you fired, you wouldn’t have a job after God of War III.

And just like a predictable comedy, a title card shows up saying “The All New Irate Gamer Show”. We then see that Bores has been replaced by *sighs* Michael Buckley of WhatTheBuck. For those unaware, WhatTheBuck is another one of the many awful shows supported by YouTube. A campy gay guy makes jokes about celebrity gossip that are about as funny as unused iCarly jokes.

The rest of the video has Buckley telling “jokes” involving a drunk Lara Croft, Michael Vick running illegal Pokemon fighting, and Princess Peach’s choice of fashion. If getting an airport cavity search sounds better than these jokes, then congratulations you’re over 12 years old and sane.

This video sucked. The subject of the prank immediately fell through the moment he said he would get fired, the choice of game was completely random, and that was less of a joke and more of a shameless plug to another shitty YouTube Partner.

I’m not sure if back then IG was more popular than WhatTheBuck, but it looks like Buckley no longer needs his promotion. He’s nearing 1 Million subs while Bores is constantly losing them. I don’t see the appeal, if I wanted to watch someone make fun of celebrity and excess, I’d watch The Soup. At least Joel McHale isn’t an annoying gay stereotype.

Next redux we’ll look at a video where Bores says “You think I can only steal from the AVGN? Ha! You ain’t not seen nothing yet!”

*looks at his site* He promised two videos before the holidays. You think he can do it? He still hasn’t released the trailer for History of Lies Part 4.

31 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hmm, I wonder if Micheal Buckley is related to Tim Buckley?

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Truthfulpietro
    I doubt it. Buckley is a common Irish surname.
    There's author William F. Buckley Jr.
    Songwriter Tim Buckley (I know I know)
    His son Jeff Buckley (sadly both died at very young ages)

    There's also Keith and Jordan Buckley, two brothers in the shitty metalcore band Every Time I Die.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, common sense would make it so he doesn't review QBert at all, and as a result, he gets replaced by What's His Face who does the actual review.

    Oh wait. This is Bores.

    God, I have made better April Fools jokes! It was for my Abandoned Fire Emblem VI Lets Play, where I made a fake Mother 3 Lets Play Video of Tanetane island that turned into an insane Silent Hill esc psychotic breakdown. I rushed it's production out in an afternoon in order to post it before April 1st ended, and it is kinda poorly written, but even that was more effort and care than Bores did!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Batdan. I've hated WhatTheBuck from the minute I heard his voice. My sister showed him to me telling me that she though he was hilarious... so... yeah.

    ReplyDelete
  7. When you wrote "this video sucked." For, some reason I said it in Linkara's voice. Also, good thing I stopped watching his videos awhile ago cause he seems to be degrading in quality somehow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Meh, it happens. I've said "this video sucks/sucked" before. I guess it's easier not to have a sign-off because it's fairly obvious.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Batdan

    Now that I think about it, I often thought you were refrencing Linkara too. Although saying 'this video sucks' isn't nessicarily a reference.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Think about it, are there any more videos that you could recap? I mean, Chris doesn't really have many videos out.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @VinceThePhilosopher
    I've done all his videos. His latest videos were those trailers.

    I'll end the Redux Recaps at Resident Evil 5, near the end I started rushing through these without giving them thought so everything up to that video is getting a new version.

    ReplyDelete
  13. He just released the History of Lies 4 trailer.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dedicated to you-know-who, his actual lines not included for the copyright and rhyming reasons. But getting the references should not be hard.

    Hey, stop being a hack and being so lame,
    I don't even think you ever really played a game
    You say that as a child you loved the NES?
    Judging by the reviews, you just pulled it out' your a**.
    Playing the first level and then say that you will quit?
    That's not how you should make a review, that's just f**king s**t!
    "Thanks Mario, but the princess is in another castle?
    The game is just a big s**tty motherf**king a**hole!"
    Of course some games get cut when they are ported from arcades,
    But that is not a reason to start those cavalcades
    Of swears about the graphics and the limited palette --
    The NES can't handle it, don't you just f**king get?
    There is no reason to include these unrelated gags,
    Which usually get spoiled by the camera and lags:
    "Coming from USSR, not realising if
    the country is no more, here is... " Why add the FMVs?
    Expecting modern graphics in the 80s/90s games
    is stupid and ignorant, making you look very lame.
    Not even beating Super C without the cheat codes
    And using the Game Genie is a wimp's way. Guess it's yours.
    "I wish to have infinite lives and start at level 8!"
    He didn't even type the code because he emulates.
    All the time the facts are wrong, the cart's inserted not,
    the gamepads not connected into the required port.
    Making rants on older games's OK just while they're bad,
    But bashing the Nintendo classics makes me really sad.
    And be a little serious, this editing just sucks!
    Why did you ever have to add those fake newspaper lines?
    They make no f**king sense and mostly they are lies,
    "Bison crushes with no charging!" Yes, of course he does!
    AI is mostly stupid, so (and I won't repeat)
    to make the game more challenging they sometimes have to cheat.
    Of course it isn't playing absolutely fair and s**t,
    But if it wasn't, anyone would beat it in one sit.
    The games are very old, but looks like you didn't care,
    You make the videos like they were made just yesterday.
    So cut the c**p and shut your mount, the games are not for you.
    Delete your video account and get out of YouTube.

    (cc-by-sa)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I saw the trailer for HOVG Part 4. Regardless of what the fanboys say, he's definitely going to rip off AVGN's Pong video.

    ReplyDelete
  16. @d1337r
    Nice one.

    Yeah I just saw the trailer. It seems he's pulling a "TMNT video" and attempting to cover his tracks by reviewing other games. I can see pointless sketches and unneeded whining.

    "Nothing will be safe!" Now he's just using generic movie trailer lines, what does this have to do with Pong?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love how Bores uses the official MPAA slide at the beginning of his recent trailers, because I'm sure he makes the effort to submit his trailers to them and wait for their approval, and they're kind enough to add the URL of his website to the slide as well.

    Great pose and expression at 0:49, too. So Boresian.

    BTW, have you seen the Irate Gamer profile on iStardom? http://www.istardom.com/Irategamer
    I enjoy the "Power Slides" tab, which allows people to vote on how talented, funny, beautiful, etc. he is. I can see he's quite popular. XD

    ReplyDelete
  18. @PanicPagoda
    That's a weird site. I see it only goes by YouTube statistics because I couldn't find the Nostalgia Critic.

    *sees Power Slides* Hahaha wow. I also like how the praise is getting thumbs down but the rants are getting thumbs up.

    Yeah I hate how he steals the MPAA's slide and adds his site URL. It shows how much of an uncreative shithead he really is.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Speaking of "Power Slides". I've checked James Rolfe's version. When they show the question how Angry is The Angry Video Game Nerd. It shows pictures of characters for how far the slide goes. When the angry meter reaches maximum AVGN is there. However, AVGN isn't up there anymore. Just check it, you will know exactly what I mean.

    http://www.istardom.com/AngryVideoGameNerd

    ReplyDelete
  20. Of course Bores contradicts himself again. On his site...
    "I should have it done before Christmas so cross your fingers."
    On the video description for the trailer...
    "I won't be able to finish the episode in time for christmas"
    Wow, we didn't see this coming! Anybody who crossed their fingers, I pity them.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Glad to be back. I honestly didn't care for WHATTHEBUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  22. before i forget to do it, Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Holidays, thanks batdan for beign with us

    ReplyDelete
  23. Merry Christmas to everyone!

    *goes to look up movie times*

    ReplyDelete
  24. Merry Chrismas to all as well!

    Well see ya'lls later for its back to watching some First Blood and playing Odin Sphere

    ReplyDelete
  25. IT'S CHRISTMASSSS!

    SO HERE IT IS! MERRY CHIRSTMAS! EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN! BORES IS MAKING A NEW VIDEO, THAT WILL BE PRETTY DU-UH-UUM!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas - yes, even Chris Bores! Hopefully this will be the year he finally finds a practical use for the coal in his stocking!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey now, iCarly is actually funny, comparing that Buckley douchebag to that show is an insult.

    ReplyDelete