Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fan Art! Or How I Stopped Caring and Hated deviantArt

Fan tributes are an interesting thing. They can range from normal to “HELP HELP CALL THE COPS!” We’ll be looking at one of the sanest methods of tribute… most of the time. Fnn art! Fan art exists for everything. The more popular and well-liked a movie/show/game is the better the actual art. Even small time internet shows can get some excellent art. Just look around and you’ll find it. The Irate Gamer on the other hand… hoo boy. We’re aware he’s not well-liked or popular. Well, he’s popular for all the wrong reasons. Point is he has a fan art section at his site and it suuuuuucks. So I’m going to go through each picture and tell you why his fans are possibly brain-damaged. This article is a remake of an older one that I deleted. I’m redoing it because there’s some new pictures and… just wow. Prepare for a world of bad photoshops and awful sketches. Follow along with me: http://www.theirategamer.com/fanart.htm
UPDATE: Bores add "fan remixes" of his theme and shuffled some of the pictures. Picture 1: This one is given to us from Giovanni Costa. Mr. Costa here took the image of Bores behind a large pile of NES games, added some filters, and placed some over-sized NES carts behind him. I should warn you, this is the good stuff. Picture 2: Sam Miskovic takes the cover art to Super Mario USA (the Japanese release of the US Super Mario Bros. 2) and replaces Mario with Bores. Tracing was obviously used here. Picture 3: An ugly piece with Bores flipping off the audience with an expression of … confusion? With Devil Bores and Ronnie standing behind him (Ronnie giving him bunny ears) and Cousin Joey in the corner yelping “I like games”. Bores is also wearing a that says “Shit Burgers”. Did someone out there really find that line funny enough to consider it “shirt-worthy”? Get used to this image. Picture 4: A bizarre picture with a Liefeld-proportioned IG stepping (?) on… what is that? A bunch of gaming related images mashed-up into a creature? Ow, my brain already hurts. Picture 5: Seth Hay of OrangesDesigns provides us with a standard image of a filtered IG photo (the one used on the DVD cover) surrounded by a ton of grey and some video game sprites. Just dull. Picture 6: It’s Picture 3 re-colored so IG and Joey are now zombies, Devil Bores and Ronnie are just heads because the black background makes their clothes disappear, IG’s shirt now says “I H8 ET” (wow, clever) and the words “HAPPY HALLOWEEN” are pasted across it. Laaaame. Picture 7: Eric “The Wise Sage” Allen shows off his EPIC photoshop skills taking various shots of IG and placing them over a fire background. So you want your friend to burn in hell? Oh wait, it’s meant to be anger. Picture 8: Bores’ title card artist “DatBoiDrew” provided a simple picture of a smiling IG holding a controller. I have nothing against Drew, he’s a great artist. He just needs to get away from Bores. I think he has, he hasn’t done any work for him in a LONG time. My guess is Drew did this for commissions but wouldn’t do it for free like Marobot or MasterTheCreator. Picture 9: Here, SmirkStudios.com (no credit from Bores, just going by the name on the pic) took IG’s TMNT title card and recolored each Bores to be green with a bandanna. This picture was already lame, this makes it worse. Picture 10: An ultra-ugly crayon drawing from John Ceron with IG stepping on ROB with his name floating next to him. Chris Simpson Bores? Oh, from that one joke in The Simpsons Game video… gross. Picture 11: Another picture from Mr. Ceron, this time it’s a crayon recreation of the title card for IG’s Q*bert video. Something he could have easily traced but instead made this ugly-ass crap. Picture 12: Mmmm, MS Paint from a Mr. Dan Good. We see Bores with a major “derp” face getting eaten by the shark from Jaws. “In cinimas july 17” Typos and MS Paint, this guy just didn’t care. Either that or this is deliberate hate art that Bores didn’t see through. I’m thinking the latter. Picture 13: Here’s something I‘m fairly sure wasn‘t submitted to him but rather he stole.. This picture was taken from the brentalfloss video “Internet People 2”. You can view it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0iouXTB32M I do like how he added an annotation that says “I’m a plagiarist and generally suck balls”. The artwork was done by a user called “SharkeyeJones” on YouTube Picture 14: Man that’s blurry *checks to see if contacts are in* Nope, the picture’s just badly made. We’ve got an assortment of various IG related crap with Bores and Wise Sage in the center, Wilson standing next to them, an upside-down Jaws (didn’t know he could swim in the sky), ROB in the back, and a giant floating Predator head. That Predator didn’t want to hunt so they turned him into a head that can’t do anything. Picture 15: A surprisingly decent photoshop of IG as Link with the Zelda logo edited as “The Legend of Irate Gamer”. Something that shows effort. That’s not going to last. For some reason I can only right-click and view image to see it, if I click it normally it goes to a 404 page. Strange. Onto page 2! Picture 16: A boring parody of the Alien vs. Predator poster with “Gamer vs. Predator” and the tagline “Whoever wins…. Well wins”. Wow how long did that take you to think up? Here’s a better one “Whoever wins… oh who are we kidding? The Predator would eviscerate this moron” In a case of awful site design, I’m unable to click the rest of the images on this page. Just right-click and “view image” to see it. Picture 17: Another photoshop, this time Bores placed in front of sprites from Godzilla: Monster of Monsters on the NES. I’d say this would be a title card for a possible Godzilla episode, but this has too much effort put into it. Picture 18: What the? What the hell is going on here? Let me introduce you to Karbia Yuan, known on YouTube as “Cyclopsis” and on deviantArt as “Chotetsumaru” Basically he’s a fanfic writer but with pictures instead of words. He’s an AVGN and Channel Awesome fan, but sadly he’s also an Irate Gamer fan. Showing just how little taste this weeaboo has (oh yeah, he’s a major weeaboo). If his real name looks familiar, he’s the guy that provided the recolored Mega Man sprites for IG’s Aladdin video. Mr. Yuan’s specialty is fanfic drawing, taking completely unrelated characters and putting them together. This gets ultra-creepy with pictures like AVGN and Princess Elise from Sonic 06 kissing (dude, he’s a married man), Kevin from Home Alone getting a harem (dude, he’s like 10), and *shudders* Irate Gamer kissing video game characters and getting his own harem. *holds back vomit* But when he isn’t creeping us out, he just makes random pictures of video reviewers with characters unrelated to them. Like Picture 19 here. We see Crono, Strider Hiryu, Willow, Rash from Battletoads, Guyver, and Bores attacking the skull ship from Super C. Other than the ship itself, what do any of these characters have to do with IG? I don’t know, Mr. Yuan is insane. You can view more of his insanity here:
http://chotetsumaru.deviantart.com/ UPDATE: Turns out that's not Rash, that's Zitz. He wrote the wrong name in the description. Thanks to starofjustice for pointing this out. Picture 19: More shit from Mr. Yuan. We’ve got Pimple from Battletoads, Sakura from Naruto, Bomberman, Dale Doback from the movie Step Brothers and Bores… eating breakfast. I just came to a horrible realization, he spent time on this picture. He put time into a picture of random characters eating breakfast. You see why I don’t like deviantArt? Picture 20: We move on from weeaboo crap to just regular crap. These are the “Irate Gamer Game Ratings”, which is just a bunch of black & white shots of Bores from various videos. I guess they’re supposed to be his emotions? Picture 21: A deformed picture with a giant Mario, a tiny Donkey Kong, and giant IG just… standing there. Bores is giving the “Reggie Not My Problem” look. No, it is your problem. You put this awful picture up on the site. Then again, PJA can’t use photoshop properly so… who knows? Picture 22: An awful photoshop of the original Godzilla movie poster. Bores is plastered in the front and the tagline says “King of the Monsters meets the King of the Reviewers” Bores, did you make this? Picture 23: A poor God of War photoshop with IG’s face deformed onto Kratos’ body. This immediately dives into uncanny valley. Picture 24: Speaking of uncanny valley, skcusremagetari really got Bores’ bizarre red-faced expressions in this one. Though this might be traced. Also, Advent Children poster? UPDATE: Turns out one of my readers made this. There's two secret messages. First, read "skcusremagetari" backwards. Then, read the letters covered with blood on the posters. Great work h.k.m for doing this. UPDATE 2: Well that was fast. Instead of deleting the image, he edited it. The blood has been replaced with red-lines and they now spell out "Irate Lives", and the name changed to "reverofegasesiw" which is backwards for "wisesageforever". Does this mean Bores actually reads this waste of space? Or did one of his fans tell him? Something to ponder. But you truly are a fool Bores. When I learned of the secret message, I immediately saved the image. To the people that missed out, scroll to the end of the post to see it. Picture 25: We’ve got a Yu-Gi-Oh card! “Chris Bores and R.O.B.” with infinite attack and defense points. Funny thing is there used to be two Yu-Gi-Oh cards here, but I guess the other one was dumped because it didn’t give him infinite power. Picture 26: OH GOOD GOD NO! This is what you call art vomit. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? *ahem* So from what I can see there’s Shy Guys, Link, a Bob-Omb, the Nintendo Power logo, Captain N, the Japanese boxarts to Doki Doki Panic and Super Mario USA merged with the word “Copy” over them, and a constipated looking Bores. This is all filtered in a … ugggh disgusting. Picture 27: Ha ha, you lost your undeserving game collection. It’s that same picture of Bores standing behind the large pile of games, but they’ve been set on fire. He says “Aw crap that was $5,000 go to waste”. I don’t think this is fan art either, destroying his collection, making fun of his poor grammar, did Bores really not see this is hate-art? Picture 28: PJA returns with another lame photoshop, this time Bores is placed on Old Snake’s face from a promotional picture of Metal Gear Solid 4. Why is everything green? Picture 29: An odd sketch of Bores raising his hand. You’re not in school why are you doing that? Oh wait, he’s supposed to be throwing his controller. Now he just looks like a spaz. There’s also lame references to his videos, including a shelf with word “Tetris” and a Piranha Plant in the background. Weeeeeeak. Picture 30: Ow, this one hurts. It’s a bunch of IG’s titles cards, or “posters” as he calls them, squished together into one ugly piece of fan art.
Picture 31: Oh dear… Looks like a 10 year old just discovered MS Paint. We’ve got IG wearing sunglasses, holding a shotgun having just killed a woman (I don’t know if that’s supposed to be someone). Apparently this is a Back to the Future parody with the DeLorean replaced by a Hummer. Say, do you remember the scene in Back to the Future where Marty killed a woman with a 12-gague? Must’ve slipped my mind.
The last picture on page 2 is broken, my guess it that was probably another bad photoshop. We’re almost done people, onto page 3! We can actually click the images now. Picture 32: Not that we would want to… here’s an MS Paint made movie poster with IG wearing a fake mustache and badly-drawn Mario hat. “From director Ben Henderson. Chris Bores as Super Mario” This might actually be worse than the real Super Mario Bros movie. Picture 33: The return of Karbia! This time we have IG ripping a man in half… yikes. Don’t ask me who he’s ripping in half, Mr. Yuan doesn’t say who it is. Picture 34: Seriously? *sighs* A badly-edited Contra 4 box art with the characters heads replaced by IG nad Q*bert. Why Q*bert? He’s not badass! Picture 35: Wow we’ve REALLY gotten into “not even trying” territory here. Come on, he hasn’t even released Season 2 but the fans are already planning the cover art for Season 3? It’s a bad edit of the Super Mario Bros. 3 boxart (oh, that’s why it’s Season 3) with Bores’ head over Mario’s. It probably would’ve helped if you removed the Nintendo logos all over it… just saying. Picture 36: I’m at a lost of words with this one. It’s just Bores standing there giving one of his “I’m so much better than you” looks while a bunch of cartoon characters look at him. The only one I recognize is Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. I… I really don’t get it.
Update: The guys standing next to Doofenshmirtz are Chris McLean and Chef from Total Drama Island. The animals in the top-left corner are from an Argentine film about Noah's Arc. This only makes the picture more confusing.
Update: 2600theatari/Charlie claims he made this. A while back he posted a video that says "My IG fanart (not made by me)" That title is a major contradiction. Picture 37: Another Karbia creation, he really does creep me out. In the foreground we have Bores standing next to Jill Valentine (in her Resident Evil 3 clothes), in the background is… who the fuck is SuperYoungLegend? Oh, one of his dA friends. He’s standing next to… MarzGurl? Oh jeez. What is wrong with this guy? The picture is called “Double Dating 2”. Okay, I can’t hold it in anymore *runs to toilet* Picture 38: A sketch recreation of IG’s James Bond photo, it’s bad let’s move on. Picture 39: Argggh! More Karbia Yuan! Thankfully it’s the last one. Here we have Bores and Tifa from Final Fantasy VII doing the Caramelldansen… WHY?! Apparently other than creepy-as-hell fanfics, another specialty of his is having random characters do the Caramelldansen. Going by his page he’s done this 43 times. *sighs* We’re almost done we’re almost done. I should mention that clicking the image on IG’s site leads to a 404, once again “right-click and view image”. Picture 40: Here’s The Irate Jedi. Which is just a derp-faced Bores photoshopped on Starkiller’s body. Moving on… Picture 41: Last image of page 3! Oh God it’s dick-neck! No, it’s just a horrible photoshop of Bores placed over Snake Plissken’s head. The words “Irate Gamer Kicks Ass” floating next to him. You can tell it’s lazy because the “Kicks Ass” part is poorly scribbled. UPDATE: Turns out that was not Snake Plissken, that was The Comedian from Watchmen. Huh... Thanks Shaolin Dave for telling me this. There! That’s the last piece of IG fan-art! … Sort of. The reason I redid this article was something I heard from Gatuca who heard it through TheArchfiend. IG put up a picture that had a secret message. However I didn’t get to see it by the time I heard about it. Thankfully some good people on YouTube uploaded the image, and proof that it was indeed on IG’s website. See them here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wskyoWuuaUU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZbaLz8UNe4 That’s hilarious how he didn’t catch that. Goes to show how far he’ll go to get fanart, even if one of the pictures involves someone from Channel Awesome (an associate of Cinemassacre). Woo! That’s all the IG fanart on his site. What have we learned? The only people willing to make fanart have zero motor skills, never used photoshop, or 12 years old. Yay? And to Karbia Yuan, STOP BEING SO CREEPY! You’re all the deviantArt stereotypes rolled into one. That’s all for now. Take care. UPDATE! Here's the original image that Bores altered.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Kirby's Epic Yarn and IG's Awful Review

I couldn't think of a clever title... Back at E3 2010, Chris said he wasn’t impressed with Kirby’s Epic Yarn. He didn’t explain why but that’s standard for him. Five months later in his Donkey Kong Country Returns review he called Epic Yarn a “total let-down”. Once again he didn’t explain why he thought this. So after receiving angry letters wondering why he thought this, Bores finally reviewed Kirby’s Epic Yarn. I should also mention he promised this would be out before Christmas, and today is… January 26th. Then again he can’t keep his promises at all. Since the actual review is only three and half minutes long, I’ll cover that “preview” video he posted on his channel (which is only a minute long). He mentions his line about the game in the DKCR review and that he “had a ton fans asking to review it”. That’s a kind way of saying a bunch of people asked “What the hell is wrong with you?” He also brings up the contest and he’ll announce a winner soon, yeah I don’t care. Onto the actual video. 0:08 - 0:28: He starts the video repeating exactly what he said in the preview video. How he called the game a let-down and “fans” wanted him to review and explain it. Again, it wasn’t the fans. It was people that know you’re not a gamer and wanted to know why you didn’t like this awesome game. 0:29 - 0:39: “I’ve always been a huge fan of the Kirby franchise since the first game was on the NES” *alarm rings* Finally it’s been a while since we’ve had blatant research failure. The first Kirby game was Kirby’s Dream Land on the Game Boy. Kirby’s Adventure was the follow-up. Thus proving that you’re not a fan and you’re once again you’re lying. Then some crap about how the concept is interesting.
YouTube Edit: Bores attempted to fix the line by changing it to "I've been a huge fan of the Kirby franchise ever since the first game I played on the NES". Still kind of awkward. 0:39 - 1:13: “But sadly, that concept is thrown by the wayside” Boo-frickin-hoo. Bores goes on to explain how the game works, complaining that you can’t eat them anymore. He ends this part facepalming, and to make sure we get that’s what he’s doing a voice cries out “FACEPALM” with the word appearing in text. That… was weird. 1:14 - 1:54: He goes on to mention that the game is for kids. Yeeeeeah, Kirby was always intended for kids. Sakurai’s purpose with the original Kirby was to introduce younger kids to video games without too much of challenge. Oh wait, he means “little kids” because the music is light & fluffy (and it’s awesome, shut the hell up), the enemies are goofy (they’ve always been goofy! Look at King Dedede and tell me he‘s not goofy) and you can’t even die. You, the person that CONSTANTLY complains about games being way too hard, is whining that this game is too easy. I knew it, I knew that when he announced he was reviewing this he would complain about the difficulty. Once again showing he’s not the Irate Gamer but the Unpleaseable Dickhead that whines whenever things don’t go his way. He whines about one of the levels moving you ahead if you get hit by a lowering rooftop and does another facepalm, this time with the deep voice crying out “Double Facepalm”. It wasn’t funny the first time, it definitely wasn’t funny the second time, and knowing how predictable you are it won’t be funny the third time. 1:55 - 2:30: Despite his “disappointment” with this direction, he did find some upsides. Like how Kirby can automatically change into his classic forms. This is where his lack of Kirby knowledge really comes forth. “A parachute” Kirby could never turn into a parachute. He used a parasol but those are completely different things. “A car” Kirby never turned into a car. He could turn into a wheel or use a wheel as a weapon, but there’s big difference between a wheel and a car. “A heavy weight” Not really. Sure in Super Smash Bros there was a possibility of his Down+B move being a heavy weight, but in the actual Kirby games he was mostly a stone. *Update: Turns out he can become a weight in Kirby Super Star. So 1 out of 4. “A submarine” Once again, this never happened. Stop saying you’re a fan of franchises when you clearly aren’t. He also brings up the special areas where Kirby can transform into various vehicles, he liked them but hoped there was more of them. What? There was plenty of them. At least every other stage had one, and this game has a lot of stages. 2:31 - 2:41: Chris compliments the visuals and believes that Nintendo is competing with the “Little Big” franchise. Okay first of all it’s called “Little Big Planet” not “Little Big”. Second of all NO. Considering that Kirby has existed for years and LBP is relatively new. Plus, Kirby’s Epic Yarn doesn’t have a stage creator or online community, you know the selling points of the LBP series? 2:42 - 3:02: IG then brings up the large amount of secret levels and complains that there’s too many. Wow, that is one of the dumbest things he’s ever said. That’s definitely up there with “What the fuck is a muscle” or “Why couldn’t the easy setting be more easy?” I don’t know a single gamer that complains about too many levels or secrets. Again, you’re diving back into Unpleasable Dickhead. And because he’s a predictable dumbass, he facepalms again. This time a Triple Facepalm with a demon hand that will never be explained. Damn it, it’s almost over. So the video ends with him complaining that if you’re going to take Kirby in a new direction it better “blow your socks off”. You’re an idiot! This new direction was awesome! What the hell is wrong with you? Then he gives his final verdict of “Get it for a little kid, but if you’re an adult don’t get it”. So it’s perfect for all your fans, wow you do care for them.
YouTube Edit: Bores added a scene where an angry Kirby appears, looks at him and then eats him. Somehow Kirby only ate his torso and decides not to swallow him. Bores then signs off instead of screaming in agony since he NO LONGER HAS LEGS!
Honestly did he care when making this scene? Obviously not. Good lord was this terrible. I predicted that when Bores would review this, he’d complain about the difficulty, making him a major hypocrite. Goes to show how predictable he truly is. Maybe his obsession with food wouldn’t allow him to like it. I don’t know, all I know is that Bores is a god damn moron. Plus that facepalm joke was just… ugh. *sighs* Knowing how IG works, we’ll probably see another video in three months. Maybe another one of those lame “Top 10 Summer Movie” lists that continue to show Bores has just as much taste in movies as he does games. I’ll see you all later.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

An Update Catch-Up Thingy Stuff

You're probably wondering why I haven't updated in a bit. Well, Bores hasn't really done anything. Since the latest History of Nobody Cares all we had was more asshole messages from Bores (who claims it wasn't him but a hacker... nice try), a needless 3DS update (we know Bores, sites exist for the sole purpose of providing news) and another contest. As for redux recaps, I just haven't had the motivation. Maybe Bores' next video will piss me off enough. That's all I have to say now.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Cite Your Sources Bores. Otherwise You're Still a Thief

I've brought up how in History of Video Games Part 3 Bores stole b-roll from the CNBC documentary "Game On: The Unauthorized History of Video Games". Well, this just came to my attention. A user named BritishGermanKid did some research on the footage Bores used in Part 4. He sent multiple links to vicviper592 who in turn sent the links to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHUMNTpUMoE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI8Y53WsPJs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry-qc4yhFC0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNzXIiYnFqg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss0FEdCIJEM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcdFKTtdB5k http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK_pwMItCPM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCIINva1KGQ Do these videos look familiar? They're the very same ones Bores used in his video, without giving credit. Now, let's see all the possible places he could have credited them. The Description? Nope, only enough room for "Yep, it's finally here!" The end of the video? Nope, just the credit. "Writer", Producer, Editor Chris Bores. So Bores uses this footage and doesn't even the decency to cite these people as his source. Tsk tsk, very unprofessional. This also means Bores is still a plagiarist. If it isn't lines and ideas, it's footage that he didn't get himself. UPDATE: You'll notice MrF4brice (the man playing Shark Jaws) commented on Bores' video pointing out how he stole it. How long until it's deleted? UPDATE 2: Bores changed the description to give credit to MrF4brice. However he gets the username and the name of the game wrong (it's Shark Jaws not Shark Attack you idiot!) Thanks to vicviper592 for sending me these videos and thanks BritishGermanKid for spending time finding them. BritishGermanKid's account: http://www.youtube.com/user/BritishGermanKid vicviper592's account: http://www.youtube.com/user/vicviper592

Sunday, January 9, 2011

More History Oh Joy

IG started History of Video Games in May 2009. After 20 months he’s only on Part 4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, give it up Chris. You’re never going to finish this at the pace you’re going, and your voice only makes this tedious series worse. You’re not Ken Burns, you can’t make this interesting. *sighs* Here we go, History of Video Games Part 4. This one about Pong Consoles and the “war” between Atari and Magnavox. A war oh please. Nintendo vs. Sega was a war, this was far too early to be considered one. Intro: Bores was kind enough to remove that “For over 35 years” garbage, so that’s one merit towards this. It won’t save the rest though. 0:06 - 0:47: IG starts talking over stock footage that’s obviously not from the 70s as he mentions other games released by Atari like Pursuit (released under Kee Games), Anti-Aircraft, and Tank II. “The sequel to the hit Tank game called Tank II” Nooo, this is a sequel to Tank? I thought it was a sequel to Patton. “They also released a game called Jawls” Oh he means Jaws. Actually, the game is called “Shark Jaws” and it was intended to be a tie-in but they couldn’t secure the license so they added “Shark”. “Here’s a fast fact” What’s the difference between a fast fact and a slow fact? He brings up how Shark Jaws was released under “Horror Games” a pseudo-company made to avoid legal trouble. Gee, this would’ve been a nice thing to bring up in the previous video,. You know, with KEE GAMES! Oh but he couldn’t include that, he had to make room for more effects. He then brings up clones of the game that did poorly. You know what would make this interesting? Morgan Freeman. Yeah, his voice can make anything great. In fact, I’m going to go watch the Shawshank Redemption right… *sighs* Just keep going Daniel. 0:48 - 1:09: IG talks about the game Steeplechase, which amounts to explaining how you play the game. This sets up… oh God. 1:10 - 2:07: We cut to Bores in front of his green screen as he’s about to try the game out. Oh goody, just like last time he pretends he’s in an OH MY GOD! Instead of showing footage of the game, we get different colored Bores representing the horses. Actually, it’s Bores wearing the same thing only he colored himself in After Effects to represent a different “horse”. Then we get a long padding sequence of him running with the 7th player (the computer) winning. Inter-cut with shots of him puffing out his cheeks, oh he’s supposed to be angry. He ends it by giving that same look he gave after getting curb-stomped at Marvel vs. Capcom 3 (indifference). Why? What purpose did this scene serve? I imagine this is where the hours went. Not into research, not into writing, but this one fucking scene. There’s no humor in it, there’s no reason this needs to exist. Oh God it happened again, I’ve gone insane from sheer stupidity. *meditates* There I should also mention he did the Ed Wood thing again. He was in front of his green screen, then when he was playing he was in a real arcade, then the last shot was in front of his green screen. Does he really think this is good editing? 2:08 - 2:45: Bores starts talking about the home console version of Pong. “This simplistic design had four buttons” So knobs = buttons now? Next you’ll be telling me you can zip a padlock. “A player one knob, a player two knob, a switch to turn it on, and reset button” OH MY GOD WHY DO YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS?! We’re not stupid! Chris brings up that it’s also in color, prompting him to dress up like a hippie and marvel at the colors. Hippie jokes! Appropriate when talking about the history of video games. 2:46 - 3:19: He brings up in order to power it up you’ll need 4 D Batteries, and notices a warning that says to replace the batteries if the game is acting erratic. You’re bringing this up because…? Maybe we’ll get the answer in ANOTHER FUCKING MONTAGE! You’re playing with yourself! Why is this and that damn rock music needed?! Good thing it’s a short one. The montage ends when the ball goes through the TV causing a small explosion. You don’t have to blow everything up Bores. Especially when it’s… wait didn’t the AVGN do this already? Yeah, in the Nintendo Days Re-Revisted episode when he almost lands the plane in Top Gun and it flies out of the screen. Only he didn’t use an explosion to make this happen. So yeah, that’s the punch line with the batteries. If this video isn’t mind-numbingly boring, it’s painfully unfunny. 3:20 - 3:51: More history, more I don’t care. We get some stock footage of a couple exchanging gifts that he obviously didn’t credit and he remarks that the year Pong was released began the "home game video console" era. Is that even a real term? Oh hey, he got his Odyssey back. So is the History series in conjunction with the regular one or is it separate? Make up your mind, did Evil Gamer take your Odyssey to revive HAL or not? I… ugh. 3:51 - 4:35: Bores moves on to the Odyssey 100, claiming they released it to replace the Odyssey. No, the Odyssey could play more than Pong. All the numbered Odyssey consoles could do was play Pong or a variation of it. Blah blah blah more boring man this is taking forever. 4:36 - 4:57: Here he talks about the Odyssey 200 and what it added and I so don’t give a crap. 4:57 - 5:16: He proceeds to talk about Super Pong and how it has four games. No, Atari did not release it to compete with Magnavox, they released it because Pong was successful and they wanted to improve it. So they released Super Pong. In fact, the various Odyssey consoles weren’t made to compete with Atari. They were just simpler versions of the Odyssey that sold for much less than the original. The only “war” between Atari and Magnavox was a lawsuit that was mostly settled out of court. 5:17 - 5:56: Bores then brings up the Odyssey 300 and how a lot of changed. He mentions the difficulty settings and calls the hardest one stupid, asking why you would play like this. Maybe someone wants a challenge? “As long as we’re getting stupid here, why don’t we just add in a horse racing mode” and he adds the Steeplechase gag from earlier. Well he’s done it twice so prepare for a third. I imagine it will be just as unfunny. 5:57 - 6:24: He starts crying about Magnavox releasing the Odyssey 400 and 500 in the same year as the 300. Noting how the 400 goes back to the “3 button system” (those are knobs, you don’t press knobs). The Odyssey 400 is an updated version of the 200, adding a scoring system. The Odyssey 500 gives the players human features, that should be obvious just by looking at the games. 6:24 - 6:41: He doesn’t understand why Magnavox would release those two in the same year, but realizes it might not be crazy since the market was flooded with Pong consoles. “Wow, that’s a lot of fucking Pong!” So you’re back to cursing? You don’t even care anymore do you? 6:42 - 7:23: IG remarks on the large amount of Pong but only one company stood out, Coleco with the Telstar. He says that when playing it, you’ll notice eerie similarities to the Odyssey 300. Pointing out the same games and visuals. This is where your research falls. The Telstar and the Odyssey 300 used the same video game chip, the AY-3-8500. Hundreds of Pong consoles around the world used this chip so it makes sense they would look similar! He then brings up Coleco selling the Telstar for $50 dollars. Oh hey, something that’s correct. That’s a rarity in these videos. 7:24 - 7:50: He brings up Atari having to deal with Arcade competitors, as he says this he’s playing an Arcade game that’s obviously modern. He brings up how Gremlin, Taito, and Sega entered their hat into the competition (it should be noted that at the time Sega was working with Gremlin since he doesn’t bring up this fact). But then he gets into controversy! (DUN DUN DUN) 7:51 - 8:44: IG begins talking about Destruction Derby. “The goal here” *circles the playable car* Seriously? You really had to green circle that? Ugh, moving on. He then talks about the follow-up Death Race, and shows the objective of the game. Running over people as they let out a scream. By the way, amazing delivery on that “Holy Crap!” Bores. You could give Keanu Reeves a run for his lack of emotion. Blah blah blah debates news violence who cares? IG brings up how the controversy helped the game rather than hurt it. Well yeah, controversy sells. Just take a look at the PMRC (I know that happened after this but still…) 8:45 - 9:23: IG starts talking about Midway. First he goes into Gun Fight. He says the objective is to shoot the other player while dodging cactus and stagecoaches. So, the cactus goes after you or did you confuse the word “dodge” with “avoid hitting”. “And the occasional stampede?” Guess what it is? The fucking Steeplechase gag! Grraaaaaaaaah! Unsurprisingly, his fans are gushing over this gag. One day, aliens will arrive and wipe out the ignorant. We will then enter an era of peace lasting hundreds of years. It will be glor- oh right the video. He then provides another “fast fact”. That’s not a clever phrase Bores. 9:24 - 9:48: He goes on to talk about Sea Wolf and how it uses a periscope. “This concept was very unique, and it helped turn this game into a popular” A popular what? Seriously, that’s what he says. Did something get messed up in post? 9:49 - 10:21: He goes back to talking about Atari and starts discussing the game Breakout. He then explains how it works… I hate you. He also notes how the game was made by Steve Jobs. WRONG! Alcorn assigned Jobs to make the prototype who in turn assigned it to Steve Wozniak. Wozniak made the protoype, Jobs had nothing to do with it. Both Wozniak and Jobs founded Apple (along with Ronald Wayne). Either way, you’re wrong! But that’s commonplace for you isn’t it Bores? The video ends with Bores going on about the industry getting stale and repetitive (yep, stale and repetitive… sorry). That’s really it. He doesn’t say what Part 5 will have and I’m really hoping it never comes. *collapses* Ugh what a dumb video. If it wasn’t making me pull my hair out from the awful humor, it was boring me to death with inaccurate facts. As usual the fans didn’t care for the history, only for the idiotic jokes that shouldn’t belong! *sighs* What’s next for me? Well, Bores promised a Kirby’s Epic Yarn review. I guess I’ll do some Redux Recaps as well. Maybe shift focus towards starting my own show (I’ve been trying to for years… money issues). See you all later. Sources: Pong-Story http://www.pong-story.com/intro.htm Atari Museum: http://www.atarimuseum.com/mainmenu/mainmenu.html Wikipedia (I know, but these days Wikipedia is much stricter on accurate information)