Monday, May 2, 2011

Redux Recap: Mario & Sonic Award IG the Gold in Stupidity


Going through the older videos again, I noticed that the first few Neo videos weren’t as astonishingly bad as his regular videos. That all changed with today’s subject, an abysmal video that gets so much wrong and continues to be an example of why Chris Bores is a hack. IG “reviews” Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games.

Before he released that video, there was a short “update” involving his Top 10 Summer Movies list. It’s nothing important.

Onto the idiocy!

0:19 - 0:40: “Back in the early 1990’s, Sega released a gaming console called the Sega Genesis…” Repetitive, but not the worst part.
“… to compete with Nintendo’s gaming console called the Super Nintendo” and this is where it all goes wrong!
This is the one line that proves he has no clue what he’s talking about. For those that don’t know, the Genesis was not released to compete with the SNES, it was released to compete with the NES!

Exhibit A: Genesis Does What Nintendon’t!
This was the aggressive marketing slogan Sega used when the Genesis was released in North America, and by “Nintendo” it’s referring to the NES not “Nintendo in general” (an actual defense I’ve witnessed). Back then the NES was the only Nintendo console, so people referred to it as the Nintendo. We only adopted “NES” when more consoles came out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7nsBoqJ6s8 Commercial

Exhibit B: Release dates
The Genesis/Mega Drive was released before the Super Nintendo EVERYWHERE!
Japan: Mega Drive came out in 1988, Super Famicom came out in 1990
North America: Genesis came out in 1989, Super Nintendo came out in 1991
Europe: Mega Drive came out in 1990, Super Nintendo came out 1992
That’s not getting into regions that only got the Mega Drive but never got the Super Nintendo.

The worst part is that someone in the comments pointed out this error, even though he credited Wikipedia (but remember, Wikipedia can be correct about simple facts). Bores’ response was stunningly stupid. Thankfully, I was able to screencap it before he disabled comments.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b275/BatDan/Whatamoron.jpg

When IG announced his “History of Video Games” series, this scene was the first thing I thought of. Makes me wonder what will happens if he ever reaches 1989, which at his pace will be *takes out calculator* Oh yes, NEVER!

He continues his “history lesson” bringing up how Nintendo had Mario and Sega had Sonic. Let’s just completely ignore Alex Kidd, it’s not like he was Sega’s big mascot at one point and Sega dumped him when they learned a blue rodent with attitude was more appealing.
“To unite both of them into a single game was unthinkable” In the 90s, but when Sega dropped out of the console business and started publishing Sonic games on Gamecube then an eventual crossover didn’t seem farfetched.

0:41 - 1:00: “Mario vs. Sonic at the Olympic Games” Hang on, I don’t see a “vs.” in that title, but I do see an ampersand. The title is “Mario & Sonic” not “Mario vs. Sonic”. But who needs literacy anyway?

IG remarks that this should have been the “most epic event to ever happen” but after playing it he calls it “the biggest piece of shit I ever played” I thought that was MUSCLE? By the way the game isn’t that bad, it’s flawed but it’s good fun. The title itself says “Olympic Games”, were you expecting something like Super Smash Bros?
He also admits he only played for five minutes before turning it off. Either he admitted he barely played the game, or that was an attempt at a joke. It’s still bad form though.

1:01 - 1:18: While gushing over the intro (cutscenes aren’t important!) he says this “You probably think that you probably just purchased a great game”. Holy shit! So much redundancy! Also, judging the game based on the opening cutscene is really idiotic. That’s why I get kind of annoyed when a trailer doesn’t have gameplay footage.
“Don’t be fooled, graphics alone can’t carry this game” … No shit! You just figured this out? Gameplay and controls > Graphics

He calls the game a “travesty” and complains about Nintendo releasing it for $50 dollars. Technically Sega published the game in North America, Nintendo only published it in Japan. Also, it’s a high-end AAA Wii game, of course it’s going to cost $50 dollars!

1:19 - 1:40: IG claims his biggest problem is with the controls, complaining that you have to do a different action for each event. Oh and this is the first video he calls it the “Wii Joystick”.

Folks, this is the Atari 2600 controller. It has one button and a large joystick in the middle.

This is the Wii Remote. It has six buttons for gameplay, a D-pad, a Power button to turn the Wii on, a Home button to bring you back to the menu, and a motion sensor inside that you activate by pointing it at the TV like a “remote”, plus some other stuff that isn’t too important.

Where the hell do you see a “Joystick” in that?
Also, complaining that a Wii game is making you use the motion controls? I’d accept that if he said the controls were unresponsive or something, but he doesn’t do that! He just complains that you have to move the Wii Remote around and nothing else.

“Whatever happened to just picking up a controller and playing a game?” … WHAT?!!
Chris, the entire point of the Wii is to attract customers that normally wouldn’t play a video game. The motion controls were created for people that thought “pressing buttons” was too complicated. If anything, games like Wii Sports and Mario & Sonic are easier to pick-up and play for non-gamers. I’m starting to wonder how much of this is the game’s fault.
This is definitely up there with one of the dumbest things you’ve ever said.

1:41 - 1:54: He remarks how each event becomes more confusing and “fustrating” (ugh) and lists off how “everything sucks”. You know, it would be nice to explain why these events suck. You can’t just say “it sucks” and move on, tell us why the swimming sucks or the fencing sucks. Is it the controls? Is it too hard? Tell us!
Too bad, we aren’t getting that! Instead we get a dumb joke of IG apologizing to Yoshi getting last place, saying it’s not his fault. You’re right, it’s not Yoshi’s fault. It’s yours! You were the one controlling him.

1:54 - 2:09: IG sums up the game like this “The entire game consists of picking your event, picking your character, being announced to the audience, performing your event three times, then see how you rank” then doesn’t see how it’s fun and calls it boring.

Red Dead Redemption sucks! All you do is get on your horse, go to a mission, get back on your horse, go do the mission, and get your reward. It sure is boring!
Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past sucks! All you do is roam around the world, fight enemies, collect items, and solve puzzles. How is this fun?
Chris, every game can be “boring” if you describe it the way you did.

2:10 - 2:25: He then says nothing “cool or exciting” happens. What did you want to happen? Tell us!
He starts complaining that if you lose as Bowser, you don’t get to go into the audience and kill spectators. … Wow, that just happened.
It’s a kid’s game, there won’t be any brutal massacres caused by a character losing. They don’t want to give it an M-Rating. I can imagine IG playing Mario Golf or Tennis and complaining that Bowser doesn’t get to kill spectators.
He then brings up how he was sitting there “waiting” for something happen. The footage shows him playing Ping-Pong, that looks like “something happening”. What are you going on about?

2:26 - 2:49: He then brings up that he did enjoy the Trampoline event where press buttons while in the air. So the only event he liked was the one that required pressing buttons. I’m convinced, he just hates the game because he sucks at it. Looking at the footage, he kept getting last place, and instead of admitting he sucks he blames the controls.
“Too bad they couldn’t implement any good ideas into the rest of the game” I imagine if the rest of the game was button mashing, it wouldn’t be like the Trampoline event, it would be like other Olympic games where you slammed the button until you broke the controller. Kind of like Track & Field.

2:50 - 3:05: “Now I’m going to cut this review kind of short…” It’s about the same length as all your other Neo videos, what makes this one any different?
He continues complaining that it’s awful, that’s it’s a waste of time, and not “crazy” like a “real Mario vs. Sonic game should be”. That’s because this isn’t “Mario vs. Sonic”, nowhere in the title does it say “vs.”! Get that through your head! What do you want from a “Mario vs. Sonic” game?

The video ends with IG saying if you really want to pit Mario & Sonic against each other, wait for Brawl. *checks video date* April 26th, and Brawl came out in North America March 9th. Oops!
Okay he probably uploaded this video to GottGame before that, but I have no idea when that was because the new site reuploaded his videos at the same time. So maybe it was before Brawl came out, I don’t know. At least include an annotation saying when the video was originally uploaded.
By the way, you seriously couldn’t find the actual Brawl boxart so you had to use a fake? That’s just lazy.

He once again calls the game “boring and fustrating” FRUSTRATING! There’s an “R” in there! Say it right damn it!
The camera cuts to him and he throws the game, ending the video. No sound effect? Come on at least give us a Wilhelm!

That was awful! The first truly BAD IG Neo video and it definitely won’t be the last. Research failure, annoying nitpicking, and blaming the game for his own ineptitude. It’s all there.

Next Redux is R.O.B. Part 1... Oh dear.

Maybe Bores will actually release something new? It's only been seven months since the last actual retro review.
As for the "Chris Bores Day" post I made, it's been deleted. It was really dumb.

116 comments:

  1. You see, I actually thought this was his worst IG Neo video... That is, until his Kirby's Epic Yarn video came along.

    Oh, and you forgot to point something out:
    "All you get to do is choose your event, your character, being announced to the audience, perform your event three times, and see how you rank."
    Oh, you mean JUST LIKE IN THE GODDAMN REAL OLYMPICS? Well excuuuse me! We are sorry to have the game follow what it's freaking based off! We are now off to make that game where you get to kill people as Bowser!

    ...Didn't they test this review before they released it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only thing Bores can do is complain because he only played the game for five minutes.

    If Bores does another video on youtube, it's going to suck as bad as the last one.

    Face it. . .youtube is ruined! hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bowser doesn't kill people. He just kidnaps princesses (well, technically only one).

    Something tells me Bores doesn't crasp the concept of the Wii. Maybe he was actually holding the remote like a joystick the first time he played a Wii game?

    And what's next? Bashing the DS because you have to move your fingers around the screen?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, joy! I'm going to have to split my next video into parts.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think the wiimote is a stupid gimmick that would have made a better peripheral than a default controller. but I still would criticize a game for being designed for the hardware it plays on. it's better than playing games that were intended for completely different hardware.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ... and once again I get an appropriate word verification for my last comment. "somari", the name of the Sonic/Mario crossover hack for NES.
    my favorite is still "flawls".

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Shaolin Dave

    I still prefer "Hey gamurz!". His very use of the word just showcases the fact that he isn't a gamer. Nobody calls one another gamers unless they're referring to the hobby. Even Tommy Tallarico at Video Games Live (that I went to a couple weeks ago, it is fucking awesome) does his best not to use the word.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Also "Hello gaming gurus!". I mean, as a reviewer claiming to know "all the ins and outs", HE's supposed to be a "gaming guru", not the viewers.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @ Fedora'd Samurai & d1773r

    I was referring to the 'word verification' that we have to put type in to post our comments, to make sure we're not spambots. I've gotten a couple that are funny, and my favorite was "flawls" because it happened to match a Boreism.

    There are better Boreisms that "flawls", but none of them happen to be a word verification.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I didn't actually talk about word verifications, but I replied to The Fedora'd Samurai's comment about "Hey gamurz!" being the phrase Bores inserts into almost every NEO video.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Okami sucks! All you do is go around and collect praise!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Street Fighter sucks! All you do is beat one challenger after another until the game runs out of them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Good god, imagine him reviewing Okamiden!

    Alright gaming gurus, in this review, I will review Awkamihdean!
    In this game you take control of a small dog. A small dog!?! I don't wanna be a small dog! I wanna be a god! Anyway, this dog looks like that other dog from Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Amahturassuh. I can't believe it! They stole their character! After doing some research, I found out that this puppy is the perfect predecessor to the other dog!
    Care to continue, anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  14. It figures. The only game that Chris likes involves button mashing.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Life sucks! All you do is get born, do a bunch of pointless stuff, then reevaluate it at the end!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I bet if he reviews Earthbound, he'll complain about how you play as children, make bad jokes about prince Poo, and what the enemies are like.

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Derek:

    So he should *love* Winter Games.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mother 3 sucks! All you do is save the world from destruction, stop an old man from corrupting a village, and pull needles to awaken a dragon! It's boring!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Linkara sucks! All he does is burn comics and punches people declaring he is a man!

    ReplyDelete
  20. My show sucks! All I do is talk about how hard games are, bash them based on things found in every video game ever existed, then denounce the game as sucky for no reason whatsoever! What the fawk?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I suck! All I do is practice bass guitar, write stories for my world of warcraft guild and play video games! did they test this metalhead before they released him!?

    ReplyDelete
  22. nice redux recap as always Dan, oh btw, you forgot mention one think

    In Japan, the Mega Drive did not compete with the famicom, it compete with the PC engine (the japanese version of the Turbograf 16), wich was very popular in japan since 1987, even tough it was marketed as 16 bit console, the PC engine was in reality an 8-bit console, and it did make heavy competition with the Famicom, and with the PC Engine Super CD it was the 2nd best console in japan next to the super famicom, the mega drive dint really make a lot of hit in japan.

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Derek:

    Too bad Earthbound let's you name the characters before the start of the game. He would NEVER play long enough to get to Poo otherwise.

    Oh, and he'll probably complain that you have to name all those unknown characters and that Ness is a total rip-off of that one character made specifically for Super Smash Bros. XD

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yeah, I don't think that Bores would have the patience to make it to Summers.

    He'd also probably complain about how the main character is a kid, or about the graphics, or how the enemies are stupid, like dogs, and trees, and rats. WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT!

    ReplyDelete
  25. @Gatuca
    I know the Mega Drive was released to compete with the PC Engine in Japan. However I didn't feel it was relevant to bring up.

    ReplyDelete
  26. If that idiot ever reviews Earthbound, I can only imagine the backlash of negativity he'd be receiving. The Earthbound fan community is HUGE, and I guarantee almost everyone in it would want his head... me included.

    ReplyDelete
  27. @doresh
    Prince Poo? More like Prince......Crap!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. This blog sucks! All it do is review my videos, explain in full detail why I am horrible, and make my lines a memetic joke in the comment section!

    ReplyDelete
  29. This comment sucks!

    LINKARAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

    Thank you, good night!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hello Gamers.
    JK. But I am new here though. I plan to do Irate Gamer parodies in the near future. I'm thinking about Darkwing Duck on the NES. Anyways I just want to know what you gamers (sorry couldn't help it) think on how Boring may feel on the whole Bin Laden death situation.
    Oh and BTW...
    Pokemon sucks. All you do is pick a starter monster, collect more Pokemonsters, train them, evolve them, fight gym monster trainers and kill Team Rocket. Ugghh! *stare then facepalm* (don't ask why there is no announcer or caption this time)

    ReplyDelete
  31. YouTube sucks! All it do is watch videos, rating and commenting on them and uploading your own videos.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Nice recap. By the way, what was the Chris Bores Day post about?

    @JohnNintendoNerd

    Heh. I see a bright future ahead of you. Welcome.

    @Bahamut

    All jokes aside, I think the like and dislike system was a terrible idea... seriously, "21 people (insert line from video here)". Don't you think that's a pain in the ass?

    ReplyDelete
  33. School sucks! All you get to do is learn, make friends, do homework, study for the exams, do the tests and exams, and do field trips.

    And the real shit shocker is that if you don't do well enough, you have to start the year all over again! What a piece of ass with a dickwaffle shoved in it!

    ReplyDelete
  34. @VinceThePhilosopher
    It was just a post telling people about "Chris Bores Day" and the time he updated his site on "April 31st". The joke is getting dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Say Dan, have you ever played Okamiden?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Not yet. I'd like to though.

    ReplyDelete
  37. @BatDan

    I wish I could find it, but I haven't gotten the luck to find it. I really want it after I enjoyed Okami...

    ReplyDelete
  38. I know this has nothing to do with Chris Boringhack, but I want to show a video I found lurking in Memebase.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzFSvPqSllw

    So, what do you think?

    @VinceThePhilosopher

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%8Ckami

    ReplyDelete
  39. *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okami

    Sorry about the typo, Vince. Stupid special characters in language.

    ReplyDelete
  40. @VinceThePhilosofer

    You don't know one of the greatest games ever?! WHAAAAAT? DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- *static*
    Technical Problems Guy: Arthur told you to get the game now.

    ReplyDelete
  41. @Arthur Arneiro

    I think the PS2 version of Okami is slightly better then the Wii version on the graphics department

    ReplyDelete
  42. Alright gaming gurus, I'm going to summarize Okamiden. In this game, you play as a cute little puppy. You then go around with a little kid and save a little girls mirror. What the fawk?! I don't wanna rescue a mirror! After getting the mirror, the girl turns into the wood sprite Sakuya! Aw yeah, this is getting hot! She tyen tells you that you have to save Nippon. What kind of stupid name is Nippon!? And why get.a little puppy to save Nippon when you could get the police?
    Continued in next post

    ReplyDelete
  43. Now let me first say that this game has alcohol references and drugs, so if you have kids, you better keeo them away from this game
    Hey Chris, whaddya playin'
    (sees sake on list and runs away)
    Oh man, now my cousin Joey is gonna have nightmares for a week.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Lol, gotgame is full of retards. this is one of the mods comments posted on bores's got game review -

    "i don’t know, i think the whole point of a review is to let you know whether you want to play the game or not. The faster you answer that question the better, really. Who really wants to sit through a half an hour of a single game review? might as well go buy the game at that point."

    XD

    ReplyDelete
  45. Half an hour? That's as much time as Bores spent on the last 6 Neo reviews!

    And Shadow of the Colossus sucks! All you do is ride around and climb on monsters! How boring! And those monsters are total rip-offs from the new Castlevania - which has better graphics than the previous games in the series and is therefore far superior. But where's Simon Belmont?! I hope he'll appear in the next game!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Half an hour? Who the hell makes game reviews that long?

    Sites like IGN, GiantBomb, or GameTrailers only make them 5-6 minutes long.
    AVGN sometimes does long videos but never hits the 30 minute mark, and most of the time they're for games so awful you want to avoid them.

    Sounds like the GotGame staff is grasping for straws, they're running out of excuses for his lazy behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  47. @BatDan

    And let's face it... No, breakfast is not ruined. What I was going to say was that we should face the fact that even the worst reviewers at IGN do a better job than Bores.

    ReplyDelete
  48. @Arthur Arneiro

    They didn't bash Epic Yarn because its "for kids". They called it a good game.

    I remembered something...in Bores Logic, a game where you can't die sucks. Does that mean Portal 1 and 2 suck? Or the Bioshock series sucks?

    ReplyDelete
  49. @Rafael

    I'm looking forwardto him reviewing Portal 2. Maybe THAT will cause another mass unsubscription!

    ReplyDelete
  50. By the way, my anti-bot word for the above comment was "sauce". Awesomesauce!

    ReplyDelete
  51. @Arthur Arneiro

    I think his sub count is still dropping. Looks like even the most patient of fans are losing patience with him

    What other reviews caused a drop in subscribers on him?

    ReplyDelete
  52. @Rafael

    3-in-1 was the first one that led to a mass unsubscription, I think, next was GoW3, then it COULD be a shot in the darkness, but I'm gonna guess Kirby's Epic Yarn. Other contributors were the movie reviews, his irregular basis-uploads, and the fact that as we speak, some IG fans are finally developing a brain.

    ReplyDelete
  53. @Rafael
    I believe the 3-in-1 video (with Tekken 6) and God of War III caused subscriber drops.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Portal 2 sucks! You can't even die or kill people! I don't wanna shoot portals and use brainpower! I wanna go around senselessly killing people! You mean I have to think in order to beat the game? Face it, Valve is ruined!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Why can't Kirby be for adults? All the other games were violent like.....um.....

    ReplyDelete
  56. Spoony mentioned Irate Gamer in his latest vlog, where he rants on mortal kombat and realizes that his arguments are very IG-esque. He goes "face it, gaming is ruined". It's around 33:45.
    Just a little IG-related chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Heres more lulz, the highest rated comment on the same god of war 3 vid the mod commented on -
    Hey IrateG! Even though I’m 11, I love every episode you do! Nice reveiw, and trust me, I know the “f wurd” and people who played god of war (even kindergardners in the elementry played G.O.W. 1) taught me me F*cking god D*mn ugly as Sh*t words.

    ReplyDelete
  58. @Cinemacolyte
    Heh, I'm surprised he hated MK9 so much. I haven't played it yet so I'm not listening to his opinion.

    @brockwinterssproule
    You know, I'm really trying not to mock his fans these days. I don't want to lower myself, I'd like to have some set of standards.

    Comments like that aren't making it easy.

    ReplyDelete
  59. @brockwinterssproule

    Kids like this one really lower my reputation on YouTube even more. Are me, GamingSol and Pokemariofan107 the only kids on YouTube that know what they're talking about?

    ReplyDelete
  60. "Half an hour? Who the hell makes game reviews that long?"

    Well, plenty of contributers will do longer reviews, but that's because they try to incorporate as many details as they can cover and talk about. For example, Joe's recent Mortal Kombat 9 review was about 20 minutes, if I remember correctly, but aside from a few brief skits, longer reviews of a single game come about to explain as many details of the game as they can, either for praise or for criticism, in order to fully "sell" the audience on it.

    Subsequently, my reviews sometimes go over half an hour because honestly I try to give the comics a fair shake and that means sometimes going over EVERY page.

    ReplyDelete
  61. @Lewis
    Well I was trying to think of reviewers that hit the 30 minute mark. I know longer reviews that go 15-20 minutes do it to cover as many details as they can. That's what's important.

    That's why I'm calling GotGame on their bullshit of "he only needs to tell us if it's good or not" because explaining why he thinks it's a good or bad game is important.

    While I was typing this, I just remembered Kwing does half-hour reviews. I think his Chrono Trigger review was that long.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I never get why Chris does this show when he obviously doesn't have the time. I can excuse James' episodes being monthly, but Chris needs even more time to do an actual Irate Gamer review that usually doesn't have enough thought in it.

    ReplyDelete
  63. @Lewis
    And yet his reviews are short and filled with skits, with just a little bit of actual reviewing and usually full of SFX and montages.
    His reviews take more time than you do! You could make at least 12 episodes in between each of his Irate Gamer reviews!

    ReplyDelete
  64. @ Derek

    Maybe because it's somehow his big break ?

    Let's be honest here, who would know Bores if he wasn't the Irate Gamer, but just some guy doing a tech podcast, a cooking show or any other internet fad really ?

    ReplyDelete
  65. I think 30 minutes is too long for a review. Maybe for a retrospective of an entire game from start to finish, or a whole series or collection of games, but not for a single review.
    Usually I watch reviews of games I've already played or never intend to, only for entertainment purposes. If I'm watching a review to decide if I want to play it, then 10 minutes is more than enough. 30 minutes and I start feeling like I'm at a car dealership and the assholes won't give me my own keys back.
    HVGN goes into the most detail I'd want for a review, and he seldom goes over 10 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  66. @ Shaolin

    hey, HVGN has done his reviews of Splatterhouse 2010 and Sweet home above the 20 minutes and still and informative review, and he dint go into spoilers, (and for the most part he doesnt try to spoil things, except for his new series "Getting Super Nerdy"...oh BTW the newest GSN video is going to be on sweet home and RE).

    ReplyDelete
  67. @ Gatuca

    I did say he "seldom" goes over 10 minutes, not "never". most of his reviews go 6-7 minutes, thought I've seen a few go 10-11 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  68. His subscribers keep going up :-( Who are these people?

    Handy site for tracking:
    http://bit.ly/lFbAa0

    ReplyDelete
  69. You know what would be awesome?
    Having a real death note.
    I would want Chris to be turned to cherry cakes by Mrs. Orange.
    Does anyone else have any ideas?

    ReplyDelete
  70. Death note? never heard of it...

    *checks wikipedia*

    that explains it. I don't watch crappy anime (I kid, like there's any other kind). but you're thinking too complicated. a couple of baseball bats, behind a shed, 1 hour max. a good old fashioned British Columbia style asskicking.

    ReplyDelete
  71. @ Fedora'd Samurai

    I HIGHLY suggest you watch Death Note, you'd probably like it. Many of my non-anime watching friends claim its the only series they like.

    If you don't want to watch all 37 episodes, then you should at least watch the two live-action movies. I just got them on blu-ray so I have some extra DVD copies.

    ReplyDelete
  72. @ Fedora'd Samurai

    I would suggest you watch ergo proxy.

    Ps how do I change my comment name? I

    ReplyDelete
  73. So BatDan, when do you think IG's gonna make his review of the new MK, because we all know he will.

    ReplyDelete
  74. @ ~SuperSaiyanSonic75~

    Probably around the end of July to mid-August. Really though, does anyone give two shits what Bores thinks about Mortal Kombat?

    ReplyDelete
  75. @Shaolin Dave
    Of course not. But I know it'll be another video where he forgets that the character he plays is supposed to be angry about video games.

    ReplyDelete
  76. @BatDan
    Knowing Bores, he probably will review it out of character, like he always does with his Neo reviews.

    ReplyDelete
  77. If anything, I'd want to toasty Chris.

    ReplyDelete
  78. The one thing I noticed: Chris NEVER titles his videos correctly. He ramdomly capitalizes or decapitalizes words, gets the games' names wrong, or forgets to put Irate Gamer (Oh wait, sorry. I mean IRATE Gamer) in the title.

    ReplyDelete
  79. @Arthur Arneiro
    I've noticed that for a while. He would add "The" to titles that don't have it, like "The Iron Man" or "The Watchmen". Other times the video titles would be completely nonsensical.
    My favorites are "SONIC Unleashed - The Hedgehog" and "WOLVERINE X-men CB's Movie review Legends".

    ReplyDelete
  80. @BatDan
    Don't forget Batman: The Dark Knight and X-Files 2.

    ReplyDelete
  81. @BatDan
    It's like when Linkara puts the emphasis on those bold words in his reviews.
    "Feel that SHUDDER, Luthor? It WASN'T an EARTHQUAKE."

    ReplyDelete
  82. @Derek
    Well that's the fault of Frank Miller and his possibly hallucinogenic-fueled writing. Or whatever he does to reach the level of "I'm the Goddamn Batman".

    ReplyDelete
  83. @BatDan
    Also, what the hell was up with that whole manga thing in that comic? That was just so unbelievably racist!

    ReplyDelete
  84. @Derek:

    All that was missing was a Brainiac with tentacles...

    And the title of his MK review will probably be "The MORTAL Kombat"

    I dunno if Bores knows anything about Star Trek, but if he at least knows about the newest movie, he will probably bash MK for ripping off its plot. And then he'll complain that Reptile looks too human...

    But the real question is: Will he demand Simon Belmont to appear in MK ^^ ?!

    ReplyDelete
  85. @Doresh

    What about Kratos? What would he complain about him? He strangely fits with the MK cast since he's been giving Fatalities to the Greek Gods like there was no tomorrow

    Remember when Reptile was just a pellete swap of the ninjas? He looked human then, so if he complained now, it would look stupid

    ReplyDelete
  86. @Rafael

    Great, he'll do that porn gag AGAIN...

    And yeah, it would look stupid, but I can imagine him doing that. Considering the vast knowledge he showed in earlier reviews, I'm surprised if he ever played the first three MK games. Plus, he makes those reviews for his young "fans", and they probably know Reptile as a, well, reptile only.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I know this has nothing to do with Chris Bores, but I found something so hilarious on Youtube.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3JZypXyRQw

    ReplyDelete
  88. @ Smashhacker

    That's pretty funny. Here's another funny but irrelevant video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54VJWHL2K3I

    ReplyDelete
  89. As the 100th comment, I would like to say that most of you have seen the message of this blog by now; "Everybody needs to hate the Irate Gamer!" "I want you to all to unsubscribe to the Irate gamer because he's the worst reviewer ever!"
    Honestly, in my opinion, I think this blog is stupid for 2 reasons:

    1.Batdan's just jealous that Irate Gamer has 100,000 subscribers, more subscribers than Knightwing01, otherwise known as Kwing(Who, in my opinion, is very bland) and the Archfiend(Batdan's messiah).

    2. You're NEVER going to succeed in the goal of this blog. Blogs like yours don't work.

    Overall, Blogs like yours, are, BULLSHIT! So keep your opinion on the Irate gamer no matter what this blog says, don't listen to what batdan says, he's just an idiot, who cares about this blog.

    I want you to now give me the most random, weird, fucked up, bizarre response to this comment you can think of.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Kiddo, Why should anyone care for having subscribers, especially when they aren't youtube partners? People who beg for subscribers, thumbs ups, and people to favorite their video is even worse than those idiots on Facebook demanding friend requests eve though they never met you in real life. They don't see them as people or fans, they see them as another number for their vain attempt to gain notoriety on youtube.

    As for jealousy towards Chris Bores...no...just no. There is not a single thing about that man-child that I am envious of. He has far more hatred towards him than those who give him adoration, not to mention his ego which dominates his entire life.

    The goal of this blog? It has been and always will be, to point out flaws and make fun of Chris Bores' unprofessional work and inadequacy in socializing with outside people. So this blog succeeded from the very first post.

    How's that for a random, weird, fucked up, bizarre response? Pretty bad when I can fucking attack your comment. By the way, I have this feeling that you were just biding your time so you can make this the hundredth post.

    ReplyDelete
  91. SHANE DAWSON RULES!

    RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON RULES!

    CLOUD8564 RULES!

    FRED RULES

    ReplyDelete
  92. @fedora would samurai(yes, without the apostrophe)

    http://members.roadfly.org/bm75204/SmellsLikeBullshit.jpg

    and whats your youtube username?

    ReplyDelete
  93. @The Almighty Youtuber

    Kinda wierd for you to say that about cloud8745 since he prefers Toad over all the other characters in SMB2, prooving his usefulness, clearly stated that ZAMN is a good game and used to be a friend of LuizPrower, who knew IG was a hack to begin with.

    Oh and one more thing

    Shane Dawson: Martin Luther King speech - filled with lame and racist jokes

    RWJ: Pancake Mix...nothing more

    Fred: .....do I need to say anything about him?!

    ReplyDelete
  94. And what makes you sure that Bores still has 100.000+ subscribers? He basically put his subscriber count on ice and refuses to show any recent statistics. But I'm sure he doesn't want other Youtube partners to become jelous of his enourmus subscriber count...

    And how can you defend a talentless hack who puts as few effort in his reviews as possible, constantly makes shit up and thinks of himself as a genius?

    ReplyDelete
  95. @Charlie
    Hey, subscribers mean nothing. By that logic, Okami sucks. Also, why would we jealous of a tomato-faced, illiterate, greedy, plagiarist who has hundreds of haters and a fanbase full of stupid kids like you.

    ReplyDelete
  96. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiqqDVl0p7A
    I bet the Irate gamer was a fan of this dude

    ReplyDelete
  97. Charlie you will stop this nonsense.
    I think your lipstick is smeared.

    ReplyDelete
  98. @The Almighty Youtuber

    At least you know a good games when you see them...did you figured it out he was talking bulcrap before SMB2, ZAMN, Ghosts n' Goblins, Aladin or the 3 in 1 video?

    ReplyDelete
  99. Why is everyone responding to Charlie? Why does anyone even care about him bitching in the comments?
    Go check out Random Clips pt. 9 instead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx94y2DOHrc

    ReplyDelete
  100. Okay kid, You're not only a troll, but a troll in denial. I understand what you're trying to get across.

    Ooh, Razorfist put up a new video.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Idrksk_55o&feature=feedu

    ReplyDelete
  101. @The Almighty Youtuber.

    "I want you to now give me the most random, weird, fucked up, bizarre response to this comment you can think of."

    Very well. *Clears throat* Zodan the Unbouncable cares not for you, child! When the End of Days comes, you will not find refuge in Zodan's castle of baked cheese! You shall be banished to fires of Antartica! So declares the 512th prophet of Zodan!

    ReplyDelete
  102. So this is where you are Charlie. I see you were too cowardly to confront me directly and instead you're here trying to call BatDan a liar, even though you say you hate the Irate Gamer now.

    Give it up kid. You're not convincing anybody. Just get off the internet and wait until you've developed a fully-functioning brain.

    ---SpaceScreaminJohn

    P.S. FYI, "Vampire Killer" is NOT stock music!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Charlie only needs to stay away from IG, then we can give him another chance. He's about my age, he should know quality by now.

    ReplyDelete
  104. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aip2aIt0ROM

    This is a perfect example of someone doing a game review that the AVGN already did,

    1)Thats over 10 minutes long
    2)Fresh and funnny
    3)Has many good points
    4)Didnt have any distracting skits or stupid side characters.
    5)Has a total different perspective that is less angry and more informative.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Ah yes, Egoraptor's foray into game reviewing.

    He can be funny but he's repetitive. There's only so many times he can make videos where all the characters just SCREAM AS LOUD AS THEY FUCKING CAN!

    ReplyDelete
  106. I KNOW! I WAS GIVING AN EXAMPLE HOW SOMONE CAN MAKE A GAME REVIEW THAT SOMEONE ALREADY DID AND MAKE IT FRESH AND NOT AS A HACK.. cough cough.

    But seriously cut out all his screaming parts and this is a pretty decent and indepth review.

    Irate can never make a indepth review if he was keep using the words Ahhsome and kool... over and over again to describe a game.

    ReplyDelete
  107. And of course playing the actual game....

    ReplyDelete